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mental health and swinging

By *oxy j OP Woman 51 weeks ago

somerset

mental health and swinging ... could be a tad touchy but i feel it needs airing..

before i start this is not a attack on mental health at all its about the way some try and use it ...

what do i mean ?? well i only meet guys so can only talk from that point so guys who keep stating being rejected on a swingers site is messing with their mental health as if its for others to fix it ..oh poor me type post ... why cant i get a meet its getting me down ... nobody wants me ...

so whats your view .. not on mental health itself but on how people use it on sites like fab where rejection / attraction really is the name of the game ... how do you deal with it if it hits your pm box .. are you the feel guilty type or the stone cold not my problem type ???

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple 51 weeks ago

Coventry

I think this is a good conversation. A couple of points spring to mind:

This site can be risky if your expectations, personal outlook and/or rejection sensitivity are not right. For all but I think especially as a single male you need be able to take a step outside and look at it from a more logical and pragmatic point of veiw. Understanding it from that point of veiw helps you to understand that it's not person, it not you per se (although some people have universally less desirable traits) and its just the dynamics. Try not to take an emothional veiw point as this can be rather hurtfull and harmful. Of course constant knock backs take their toll. Every individual has to decide if the harm outweighs the benifit.

From a letting people down side this can be a weight on the mind too. Not just from the point of veiw of them let down but from the perspective of those who have to say no thanks. Most people are nice people and both empathetic and sympathetic to others feelings. I think the best way to avoid harm for both parties is frankness and honesty. To just say not for us (without long explanation) and to simply block if not wishing to continue contact. This is far better than both sides continuing to stay in contact and stress and effort over something that will not work. I don't think we should feel pressure or burden to protect the feelings of others at personal cost. Especially in the earliest stages. I don't mean be horrible just politely but frankly say no and block if appropriate. After all we are here to chase our own desires and need to look after our own mental health first and foremost.

I also think the behaviours and attitudes can be bad for people's health. Sometimes the attitudes, abuse or just self-centered behaviours of others can question your faith in humanity. Sometimes people behave overtly on here in a way that they probably (and hopefully) wouldn't act like in the outside world. Although this is faily common to social media as a whole.

Likewise being let down on arrangements made sucks and people turning out to not be the people they first appeared to be in a bad way can get you down.

I think if you talk to singles and couples they'll all tell you there are some negative sides to fab that can effect your mental health (varying on your mental health and outlook to start). I think the key is for every individual just ask is this site enriching me or harming me? If the later maybe time to disengage (for a bit or permanently). And if the site is for you stay polite, Frank and willing to accept we can't be everones cup of tea and no one owes us anything.

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By *urious and open mindedMan 51 weeks ago

hyde

Good topic this one.

I have mental health problems it has really affected me for the past few years. I can’t walk down the street without feeling paranoid that people are judging me or talking about me to the point where I want to say something. It is hard to hold myself back but I just tell myself not to let it get to me.

I used to be able to talk to anybody about anything but for the past few years I’ve really struggled.

I enjoy being on fab and talking to people especially when I feel down. I do like to compliment people with a nice message if I like what I see but i also accept that not everyone interested in me and that is fine but I will never be disrespectful towards anyone if they are not interested in me.

I have been brought up with a lot of respect and to treat females as I would want people to treat my daughter. It’s ashame that not everyone has the same respect.

I would never ever blame my mental health on anyone else especially on a site that will have a lot of rejections

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By *r_PinkMan 51 weeks ago

london stratford

"Good topic this one.

I used to be able to talk to anybody about anything but for the past few years I’ve really struggled.

I have been brought up with a lot of respect and to treat females as I would want people to treat my daughter. It’s ashame that not everyone has the same respect.

I would never ever blame my mental health on anyone else especially on a site that will have a lot of rejections "

Fuck me!!!!

You hit the nail on the head there son.

I was gonna write exactly the same thing but add that does have a positive effect on me when mutual attraction is there.

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By *londebiguyMan 51 weeks ago

Southport

It's an interesting topic.

I certainly do not think it's right to try emotional black mail but saying their mental health is affected by rejection.

Rejection is just a part of life snd we need to understand and learn to cope with that.

It's not someone else fault if you cannot cope with them not wanting to meet for whatever reason.

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