FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Am i doing someting wrong?(mrs here)
Am i doing someting wrong?(mrs here)
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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"Its hard to find i think am not pretty or sexy enough for a woman
Will just leave it i guess "
This place can be very fickle sometimes, please don’t let success (or lack thereof) define your own sense of prettiness or sexiness  |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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"Its hard to find i think am not pretty or sexy enough for a woman
Will just leave it i guess "
Not true, this site isnt a real reflection of real life. People on here are fickle since it is behind a screen.
In real life you will meet more and more people and make connections.
Branch out to different clubs or go to a bi night, you might be surprised. |
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"Its hard to find i think am not pretty or sexy enough for a woman
Will just leave it i guess
Not true, this site isnt a real reflection of real life. People on here are fickle since it is behind a screen.
In real life you will meet more and more people and make connections.
Branch out to different clubs or go to a bi night, you might be surprised."
thank u guys |
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Totally agree with above poster it's very fickle on Fab... Had some meets in person when I don't think either of us felt it lived up to expectations. Also had some encounters in clubs where I've been surprised by some folk who've shown an interest. So you can just never tell? |
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I think we are a good looking couple. Not perfect by any means, but for our age we are in above average shape and well turned out.
Yet we still get turned down and fall foul of people being fickle on here.
Its just the way of the swinging world I guess and happens to us all, its not just something that has happened to you  |
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"No bi woman want me mrs,tried clubs useless. it feels like bi woman on here dont want any fun with me thinking its a waste of time now.  "
How many club nights have you been on? The more you go to club's the more experienced you'll be. One thing to realise is don't go with expectations, you've always got each other if you don't hook up with anyone (For about half of our club nights we only play with each other). There's generally plenty of bi fun in club's, maybe try some more nights and the fun may happen. |
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By *oxy jWoman 51 weeks ago
somerset |
"Finding compatible people is a struggle for everyone  "
this ... people need to be compatible often thats sexual attraction but not just that personality too ...
all women are beautiful just not all women are compatible with each other its a tough tough scene finding bi women years ago was easy no its not .... i find it easier away from the swinging scene ie gay bars / clubs and sometimes a swingers club ...
swinging as a whole is not ment to be easy its hard to find people you like and then them like you back
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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Are you doing club nights that are open to everyone, or ones aimed at couples and single women only?
Most women I know don't like couples nights. There are far more single women (or ones who play solo) there on nights where single guys are allowed.
Good luck! |
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By *oxy jWoman 51 weeks ago
somerset |
"Unfortunately the ladies on here can afford to be much more picky than in real life"
simply not true attraction is attraction i dont use fab for bi fems i use the ''real'' world and its easier actually ...
men love to use this quote as a put down just because they are getting nowhere themselves .... liking people is no different online than real life after all swinging is about meeting others in real life |
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"Unfortunately the ladies on here can afford to be much more picky than in real life
simply not true attraction is attraction i dont use fab for bi fems i use the ''real'' world and its easier actually ...
men love to use this quote as a put down just because they are getting nowhere themselves .... liking people is no different online than real life after all swinging is about meeting others in real life "
Totally true I’m afraid. 50% of the ladies on here wouldn’t get looked at twice in the real world. Men consider fucking an ugly girl as better than a wank - how many ladies would rather be fucked by an ugly guy rather than grab the vibrator, probably none?
It’s true but we generally don’t talk about it on here. That’s why ugly woman with terrible bodies can put things like “big dicks only” “must be gym fit” etc. It’s the way the world is, we men accept that. |
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By *impcuckMan 51 weeks ago
edge of taunton |
"Unfortunately the ladies on here can afford to be much more picky than in real life
simply not true attraction is attraction i dont use fab for bi fems i use the ''real'' world and its easier actually ...
men love to use this quote as a put down just because they are getting nowhere themselves .... liking people is no different online than real life after all swinging is about meeting others in real life
Totally true I’m afraid. 50% of the ladies on here wouldn’t get looked at twice in the real world. Men consider fucking an ugly girl as better than a wank - how many ladies would rather be fucked by an ugly guy rather than grab the vibrator, probably none?
It’s true but we generally don’t talk about it on here. That’s why ugly woman with terrible bodies can put things like “big dicks only” “must be gym fit” etc. It’s the way the world is, we men accept that."
the thread is about women meeting women nothing about desperate men? |
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I’ve seen a few of your posts and it does seem that you are relying on fab for what you are looking for.
There are plenty of curvy and bbw events at a variety clubs, you just need to find the ones that you like  |
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On fab, are you looking specifically for women that you'd be compatible with? Are you thoroughly reading their profiles before messaging?
I only ask as I've just noticed you winked at us 3 months ago yet our profile states we don't check them. So could be worth you considering whether you're messaging the right people and properly taking on board what their profile details.
For clubs, honestly we have great success. And I don't mean that as we play every time. It's a split for us, 50/50 pretty much and a good portion of said play is just between us. We never go to a club with any assumption of doing more than just having a couple of drinks, maybe meeting new people or established friends and perhaps playing just together.
How many clubs have you been to? What events do you aim for? Do you approach people or are you one of the couples that sit back and wait for others to do the leg work?
Bisexual women aren't the problem here, they're free to exercise their preferences. That doesn't mean you aren't pretty or sexy, that's totally subjective and irrelevant |
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"Unfortunately the ladies on here can afford to be much more picky than in real life
simply not true attraction is attraction i dont use fab for bi fems i use the ''real'' world and its easier actually ...
men love to use this quote as a put down just because they are getting nowhere themselves .... liking people is no different online than real life after all swinging is about meeting others in real life
Totally true I’m afraid. 50% of the ladies on here wouldn’t get looked at twice in the real world. Men consider fucking an ugly girl as better than a wank - how many ladies would rather be fucked by an ugly guy rather than grab the vibrator, probably none?
It’s true but we generally don’t talk about it on here. That’s why ugly woman with terrible bodies can put things like “big dicks only” “must be gym fit” etc. It’s the way the world is, we men accept that."
So "ugly women" have higher standards and know their worth and exercise that to the best of their abilities and that's a problem why? |
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"Unfortunately the ladies on here can afford to be much more picky than in real life
simply not true attraction is attraction i dont use fab for bi fems i use the ''real'' world and its easier actually ...
men love to use this quote as a put down just because they are getting nowhere themselves .... liking people is no different online than real life after all swinging is about meeting others in real life
Totally true I’m afraid. 50% of the ladies on here wouldn’t get looked at twice in the real world. Men consider fucking an ugly girl as better than a wank - how many ladies would rather be fucked by an ugly guy rather than grab the vibrator, probably none?
It’s true but we generally don’t talk about it on here. That’s why ugly woman with terrible bodies can put things like “big dicks only” “must be gym fit” etc. It’s the way the world is, we men accept that."
The forum is a great filter for blocking people! |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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I think I’ve seen a few similar posts from you in the recent past (perhaps I haven’t and have you confused with another couple on the forum).
Don’t try too hard and put pressure on yourself as it being your only focus, the lifestyle can be fun if you let it.
I’m surprised you haven’t enjoyed clubs, particularly Cupids, I haven’t been for a few years, but it was a great place back in the day socially, I never did really look to play much.
Do try again when you feel confident to do so. It can be fun to play with your partner in a club environment and enjoy exhibitionism and that might be a good starting position for you both.
Be kind to yourself and remember that fab is just a fun hobby and doesn’t define you.
Xxx
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"Unfortunately the ladies on here can afford to be much more picky than in real life
simply not true attraction is attraction i dont use fab for bi fems i use the ''real'' world and its easier actually ...
men love to use this quote as a put down just because they are getting nowhere themselves .... liking people is no different online than real life after all swinging is about meeting others in real life
Totally true I’m afraid. 50% of the ladies on here wouldn’t get looked at twice in the real world. Men consider fucking an ugly girl as better than a wank - how many ladies would rather be fucked by an ugly guy rather than grab the vibrator, probably none?
It’s true but we generally don’t talk about it on here. That’s why ugly woman with terrible bodies can put things like “big dicks only” “must be gym fit” etc. It’s the way the world is, we men accept that."
And yet, here you are. If you find the women here so undesirable, go and pick up “better” women somewhere else. |
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OP - your profile doesn’t make it clear that you’re looking to meet women alone (ie just you and a woman). It sounds like you two, as a couple, are looking for a woman to join you. That’s much harder to find because most couples on Fab want the same thing.
Going to clubs is a really good way of finding someone so don’t give up. And don’t doubt yourself. X |
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I've chatted to lots of bi women who profess to be looking for FF play, only to discover that there is a male partner who expects to be involved in some way.
As mentioned previously, if you seek FF only, make sure you detail that in your profile, or consider getting a singles profile too for this purpose. |
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By *adgerMan 51 weeks ago
york |
"Unfortunately the ladies on here can afford to be much more picky than in real life
simply not true attraction is attraction i dont use fab for bi fems i use the ''real'' world and its easier actually ...
men love to use this quote as a put down just because they are getting nowhere themselves .... liking people is no different online than real life after all swinging is about meeting others in real life
Totally true I’m afraid. 50% of the ladies on here wouldn’t get looked at twice in the real world. Men consider fucking an ugly girl as better than a wank - how many ladies would rather be fucked by an ugly guy rather than grab the vibrator, probably none?
It’s true but we generally don’t talk about it on here. That’s why ugly woman with terrible bodies can put things like “big dicks only” “must be gym fit” etc. It’s the way the world is, we men accept that.
The forum is a great filter for blocking people!"
One of my main uses of the forum! |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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Yes, totally agree with what the peeps are saying above. The fab culture is an interesting one to say the least. But definitely don't associate the way you are and/or look with the way others respond to you online as people are flakey on here and quick to judge or assume. In person interaction is definitely you're best bet, especially if you're more of a social person.
I think I'm fairly okay/good looking, but that doesn't mean in any way I get lots of messages. It comes down to several factors. If you're not too far away, if they are attracted to you, if you're chill and fun to chat to and if you're compatible sexually. It's not an easy walk in the park on here that's for sure. |
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"I think I’ve seen a few similar posts from you in the recent past (perhaps I haven’t and have you confused with another couple on the forum).
Don’t try too hard and put pressure on yourself as it being your only focus, the lifestyle can be fun if you let it.
I’m surprised you haven’t enjoyed clubs, particularly Cupids, I haven’t been for a few years, but it was a great place back in the day socially, I never did really look to play much.
Do try again when you feel confident to do so. It can be fun to play with your partner in a club environment and enjoy exhibitionism and that might be a good starting position for you both.
Be kind to yourself and remember that fab is just a fun hobby and doesn’t define you.
Xxx
Thank u
"
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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What were your expectations?
Single women are the smallest number on fab less so that are bi.
Throw into the equation people that are not within your or there preferences
No one has it easy on fab. |
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Without meaning to sound like a broken record or like I'm "calling you out", I'm gonna pull focus back to making sure you read people's profiles. Just as, it was noted you've sent us a wink again today, we didn't respond to the first one, we won't respond to this one and that's detailed on our profile.
Make sure you're reading profiles before messaging or winking, there's no point you doing that if said couples/single women you're looking for are either going to not respond or if you're not compatible. It's just a waste of your time really when you could be focusing on those who do match up to what you're trying to achieve a little better.
There's also, a women only play evening at Xtasia on Wednesdays (not weekly, I think it's bi-monthly but you could message the club and ask). Men are welcome to go too, but will only have access to Flirts bar, only women are invited to play. That could be something worth you looking into |
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"Without meaning to sound like a broken record or like I'm "calling you out", I'm gonna pull focus back to making sure you read people's profiles. Just as, it was noted you've sent us a wink again today, we didn't respond to the first one, we won't respond to this one and that's detailed on our profile.
Make sure you're reading profiles before messaging or winking, there's no point you doing that if said couples/single women you're looking for are either going to not respond or if you're not compatible. It's just a waste of your time really when you could be focusing on those who do match up to what you're trying to achieve a little better.
There's also, a women only play evening at Xtasia on Wednesdays (not weekly, I think it's bi-monthly but you could message the club and ask). Men are welcome to go too, but will only have access to Flirts bar, only women are invited to play. That could be something worth you looking into "
ok no worries |
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"Maybe go to a bi night, if you haven't already.
Expecting to get action will always lead to disappointment, be glad you are a couple and just have a good night out and whatever happens, happens.
"
Thank u |
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It's like life, really, isn't it? The difference is, on the site it's easy for people to be "keyboard warriors" and say stuff that they quite possibly wouldn't dream of saying in public, to someone's face.
As others have said, for the vast majority of people it will take time to find the right people to connect with and meet. Be clear about what you want or are looking for in a meet. Be relaxed about it and don't pin your hopes on a meeting happening as you may be waiting for a while. I've spoken to several people who have struggled to get meets with bi-ladies and in a lot of cases it's because the bi ladies (sometimes an FF couple) are uncomfortable with a male being part of the equation. Not a judgement on anyone, that's just their preference. In the same way you may have preferences and people whose profiles you look at and think to yourself "nah, not feeling it for these people" it will be exactly the same for everyone else. Some people have pretty broad filters (I know it's a generalisation, but statistically the men will usually have a very much broader filter ie, are happy to meet up with a much wider variety of people) whereas some people have a very specific set of criteria about what they are looking for. And if you are not part of that filter, it's not a judgement about you as a person, it's just that you don't fit their filter. The key, IMHO, is not to take the site too seriously and thus not get offended or upset if you are not finding people for meets. It will happen. Be prepared to post up meets, even if it is only a social to chat and see how things go. Try a few different clubs. Try the chat rooms and maybe cam. All of these create connection potential with others |
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"It's like life, really, isn't it? The difference is, on the site it's easy for people to be "keyboard warriors" and say stuff that they quite possibly wouldn't dream of saying in public, to someone's face.
As others have said, for the vast majority of people it will take time to find the right people to connect with and meet. Be clear about what you want or are looking for in a meet. Be relaxed about it and don't pin your hopes on a meeting happening as you may be waiting for a while. I've spoken to several people who have struggled to get meets with bi-ladies and in a lot of cases it's because the bi ladies (sometimes an FF couple) are uncomfortable with a male being part of the equation. Not a judgement on anyone, that's just their preference. In the same way you may have preferences and people whose profiles you look at and think to yourself "nah, not feeling it for these people" it will be exactly the same for everyone else. Some people have pretty broad filters (I know it's a generalisation, but statistically the men will usually have a very much broader filter ie, are happy to meet up with a much wider variety of people) whereas some people have a very specific set of criteria about what they are looking for. And if you are not part of that filter, it's not a judgement about you as a person, it's just that you don't fit their filter. The key, IMHO, is not to take the site too seriously and thus not get offended or upset if you are not finding people for meets. It will happen. Be prepared to post up meets, even if it is only a social to chat and see how things go. Try a few different clubs. Try the chat rooms and maybe cam. All of these create connection potential with others"
thank u |
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"I think it is quite difficult to meet bi women who are geographically close, with time available to meet, etc. I’ve only managed it twice in 5 years and with one of them the attraction/chemistry was phenomenal but sadly we lived too far away from each other to make it work long term.
Thank you
It’s not you, OP, it’s the circumstances, sadly. There are some social/play events that are exclusively for women. Could be an area of exploration perhaps? I’ve never plucked up the courage to go to one though.  maybe I will someday! "
Thank u |
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"Am only looking for kind advice i dont what am doing wrong "
Have you considered better photos? In all honesty we would pass the two you have by as they arent that different to a 1000 others on the site (look rushed, not well lit, not good angles, mismatched bra and kncikers)
Remember its a buyers market so to speak.
Very few read profiles so once you get past the bits you are “stuck” with (age, location, preferences etc) your photos will be the only thing that really differentiates you from many others.
So they are worth investing in. |
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By *essaMayWoman 51 weeks ago
Fairytale Wood |
"No bi woman want me mrs,tried clubs useless. it feels like bi woman on here dont want any fun with me thinking its a waste of time now. "
Sorry hope don't offend anyone but over the years as a couple and a single, I find clubs overrated so OP please don't feel that way they can be, for many, very disappointing and even demoralising.
My only advice can give is have a look in your local area maybe have a look at frequent LBGTQ+ hang outs -firstly there are far fewer actually Bi females on sites like this than are claimed to be, and it is a lot tougher on here than people imagine. Certainly I meet more Bi women away from this site. My FWB I met at the beach.
xx |
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"Its hard to find i think am not pretty or sexy enough for a woman
Will just leave it i guess
Not true, this site isnt a real reflection of real life. People on here are fickle since it is behind a screen.
In real life you will meet more and more people and make connections.
Branch out to different clubs or go to a bi night, you might be surprised."
 |
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"No bi woman want me mrs,tried clubs useless. it feels like bi woman on here dont want any fun with me thinking its a waste of time now.
Sorry hope don't offend anyone but over the years as a couple and a single, I find clubs overrated so OP please don't feel that way they can be, for many, very disappointing and even demoralising.
My only advice can give is have a look in your local area maybe have a look at frequent LBGTQ+ hang outs -firstly there are far fewer actually Bi females on sites like this than are claimed to be, and it is a lot tougher on here than people imagine. Certainly I meet more Bi women away from this site. My FWB I met at the beach.
xx"
Will give it a go thanks |
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"
... I’ve never plucked up the courage to go to one though. maybe I will someday! "
You look like a confident, attractive young woman - I'm sure you have bags enough courage to go to a club / event. Yes, there will always be a bit of trepidation when stepping into something new and a place you have never been before, but I am pretty sure most, if not all, thee events are going to be pretty welcoming for you. Pluck up that courage and step out! |
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"
... I’ve never plucked up the courage to go to one though. maybe I will someday!
You look like a confident, attractive young woman - I'm sure you have bags enough courage to go to a club / event. Yes, there will always be a bit of trepidation when stepping into something new and a place you have never been before, but I am pretty sure most, if not all, thee events are going to be pretty welcoming for you. Pluck up that courage and step out! "
Thank u |
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