FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Struggling to find a couple to swap with.
Struggling to find a couple to swap with.
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Hey everyone hope you’re all good, we are finding it abit hard to keep conversation going long enough to create a build up with another couple. We are new to couple swapping but have had various threesomes so we aren’t like really new to the scene but also not that experienced… Is it a quiet month or is something wrong with our profile description and or pictures?
Thank you for you help x  |
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Your profile looks great, as do you two  , so the only downside I can see is where you say you'll only reply when you're both there. That can really stunt a conversation. We've had conversations where only 1 half tends to talk to us and it can be off putting, particularly if you can see they're online a few times before replying.
Have you tried clubs? Couples nights at clubs are a great place to meet a few even if you don't play. It's an icebreaker for chatting later on |
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Honestly I'd say nothing wrong with your profile. Your quite a young couple so that may put some off and very good looking. Sounds silly but that may intimidate some xx
Keep going and you will find the right people x we had our first full swap private meet on Monday and it was worth waiting for
Cali |
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Being honest what would put us off (granted we are older than you look for- but the advice would still apply to those looking for our age)
Asking for face pics a) as a condition and b) without any confirmation you’ll send yours. We come across this a lot.
Might better to say if you like our profile and we like yours,happy to exchange.
We wouldnt send a face pic straight off in case you had no interest.
Secondly the only reply when together. We tried doing this and it became unmanageable. Whilst we still make big decisions together, sometimes to keep the conversation flowing we reply individually, making clear which one it is. |
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Hey from fellow newbies 
Absolutely nothing wrong with your profile. Your pictures are great, you are both hot as!
We've discovered a lot of people on here push towards meeting in clubs, which is fine if that's something you'd be into. Also maybe having a chat on the phone/facetime or maybe go out for a brew or meal may be also a good way of meeting up without their being any pressure per se to do anything more and see if you click. |
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We tend to organise socials/meets quite quickly. In our experience, protracted messaging rarely leads to meets. Clubs are excellent as everyone can avoid the tedium of trying to establish “click or “chemistry” which rarely happens over text as the reader often reads it in the mood they’re in, rather than the intended tone.
We’re looking for fun over future though. A hot meet is more likely to end up in friendships than making friends and then fucking. The friend one is very real even in the swing world.
Xx |
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Asking for face pics before you have even spoken with someone can put people off as when we see it it makes us think that the person/persons will be very critical of anything sent to them and you don't say if you will send one in return. Socials or club nights are a great way to ease yourself into the lifestyle and remember it's a journey that we are all taking and we're all at different stages |
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"Hey everyone hope you’re all good, we are finding it abit hard to keep conversation going long enough to create a build up with another couple. We are new to couple swapping but have had various threesomes so we aren’t like really new to the scene but also not that experienced… Is it a quiet month or is something wrong with our profile description and or pictures?
Thank you for you help x "
Good evening guys,
Firstly nothing wrong with your profile. Tasteful, classy and erotic pictures with a well written and put together bio.
We also like to have a good amount of messaging prior to meeting so understand the need to build chemistry and excitement.
Have you thought of attending a social event before? There is a brilliant one in Leeds next week (can be found on the forums) with over 250 people going.
Book a nice hotel in Leeds and head out to the social for the evening. No pressure to play and you may just meet a couple that you really hit it off with.
Good luck in finding that connection,
S xxxx |
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"Hey everyone hope you’re all good, we are finding it abit hard to keep conversation going long enough to create a build up with another couple. We are new to couple swapping but have had various threesomes so we aren’t like really new to the scene but also not that experienced… Is it a quiet month or is something wrong with our profile description and or pictures?
Thank you for you help x "
Nothing wrong and not a quiet month. As others have said perhaps chatting too long. The longer the chat the less likely to meet in my experience as a couple. If we are in the mood to make plans we raise the topic of dates to meet within a day or two. Doesn’t mean have to meet quickly but can tell a lot from the response. |
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This is really good advice thank you!
We’ve also spoken to a few people and when we send them a friend request they accept it then just stop replying more often than not. But we don’t want to keep messaging if they don’t want to talk so we’re like what should we do lol
"Being honest what would put us off (granted we are older than you look for- but the advice would still apply to those looking for our age)
Asking for face pics a) as a condition and b) without any confirmation you’ll send yours. We come across this a lot.
Might better to say if you like our profile and we like yours,happy to exchange.
We wouldnt send a face pic straight off in case you had no interest.
Secondly the only reply when together. We tried doing this and it became unmanageable. Whilst we still make big decisions together, sometimes to keep the conversation flowing we reply individually, making clear which one it is. "
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"Asking for face pics before you have even spoken with someone can put people off as when we see it it makes us think that the person/persons will be very critical of anything sent to them and you don't say if you will send one in return. Socials or club nights are a great way to ease yourself into the lifestyle and remember it's a journey that we are all taking and we're all at different stages "
That makes sense! We’ll remove that, i guess we are after a certain type so that’s why we ask for face pictures, always happy to exchange, I’ll reword it lol
Thank you |
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Thank you for this, we aren’t really into the club scene, curious but it’s not really our thing being around loads of people. We feel more comfortable in smaller groups to be fair maybe that’s why we don’t like the thought of it.
Thank you for all the kind words too x
"Hey everyone hope you’re all good, we are finding it abit hard to keep conversation going long enough to create a build up with another couple. We are new to couple swapping but have had various threesomes so we aren’t like really new to the scene but also not that experienced… Is it a quiet month or is something wrong with our profile description and or pictures?
Good evening guys,
Firstly nothing wrong with your profile. Tasteful, classy and erotic pictures with a well written and put together bio.
We also like to have a good amount of messaging prior to meeting so understand the need to build chemistry and excitement.
Have you thought of attending a social event before? There is a brilliant one in Leeds next week (can be found on the forums) with over 250 people going.
Book a nice hotel in Leeds and head out to the social for the evening. No pressure to play and you may just meet a couple that you really hit it off with.
Good luck in finding that connection,
S xxxx"
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Your profile is really spot on! As others have mentioned, only replying when together can holt a conversation. We both strike up conversations with other couples and singles and make it clear who’s responding. It’s a nice way to build up a bit of a connection and get to grips with what who you’re chatting to is looking for without it being strenuous and timely waiting for replies.
A good way if things go well chatting like this via fab is making a group and everyone can chat all together about the exciting stuff!
Best of luck, Beth x |
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"Thank you for this, we aren’t really into the club scene, curious but it’s not really our thing being around loads of people. We feel more comfortable in smaller groups to be fair maybe that’s why we don’t like the thought of it.
Thank you for all the kind words too x
Hey everyone hope you’re all good, we are finding it abit hard to keep conversation going long enough to create a build up with another couple. We are new to couple swapping but have had various threesomes so we aren’t like really new to the scene but also not that experienced… Is it a quiet month or is something wrong with our profile description and or pictures?
Good evening guys,
Firstly nothing wrong with your profile. Tasteful, classy and erotic pictures with a well written and put together bio.
We also like to have a good amount of messaging prior to meeting so understand the need to build chemistry and excitement.
Have you thought of attending a social event before? There is a brilliant one in Leeds next week (can be found on the forums) with over 250 people going.
Book a nice hotel in Leeds and head out to the social for the evening. No pressure to play and you may just meet a couple that you really hit it off with.
Good luck in finding that connection,
S xxxx"
No problem 
Understand you not wanting to be around large crowds. Just keep being yourselves, keep chatting to people and you will find what you are both looking for
S xxxx |
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Nothing at all wrong with your profile ops.
It's really hard to get four way attraction, so meeting couples e isn't easy.
Plus you're both straight, I'm half a couple and we find many couples are looking for at least some fem to fem contact.
Socials are where we seem to have made contacts that have led to more, so you could check those out or as suggested maybe try a club together. |
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Only thing Id say is to get rid of the long disclaimer at the end, as its meaningless.
The hotel thing might be off putting for some, a no pressure drink and chat might be better for a first meet. You can always get a hotel one you've established there's a mutual attraction etc.
Good luck. |
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By *archelCouple 34 weeks ago
A field somewhere |
Your profile is great. It's incredibly difficult to find that 4 way attraction for a full swop. We've been on the scene over 18 months now and go clubbing most weekends and still only managed to full swop with one couple! Mainly due to my fussiness and being straight. Keep at it, you'll get there. If you haven't already, give the clubs a go. We've had better luck there. Some right time-wasting melts on here  |
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We only meet at chams to be honest ,and the best night ever was when 4 of us couples arrange to meet there ,we all got on so well ,within half hour we was all in the room and wow mind blowing experience, I squirted all over the bed and even left a puddle on the floor so yes do a club ,it will be the decision you've made ,if ever your over this way let us know
Beth xx |
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"Hey everyone hope you’re all good, we are finding it abit hard to keep conversation going long enough to create a build up with another couple. We are new to couple swapping but have had various threesomes so we aren’t like really new to the scene but also not that experienced… Is it a quiet month or is something wrong with our profile description and or pictures?
Fantastic looking couple!
Thank you for you help x "
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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What's the point of this site if everyone says go to clubs? Not everyone can, hence this site in the first place.
What I hate is the narcissists who think they are too good or the sad fuckers who get off wasting your time. |
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"What's the point of this site if everyone says go to clubs? Not everyone can, hence this site in the first place.
What I hate is the narcissists who think they are too good or the sad fuckers who get off wasting your time."
Agree |
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Profile looks good it's great to see pics of both of you.
4 way attraction is hard to find, especially online, as someone else suggested maybe try clubs or we prefer the organised social events, I find it much easier to form an attraction at face value.
Mrs |
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By *ndianLuxCouple 34 weeks ago
West midlands |
"Hey everyone hope you’re all good, we are finding it abit hard to keep conversation going long enough to create a build up with another couple. We are new to couple swapping but have had various threesomes so we aren’t like really new to the scene but also not that experienced… Is it a quiet month or is something wrong with our profile description and or pictures?
Thank you for you help x "
Because like us you both are "straight" and most cpls here wants girl girl fun as their male halves can't get erection.
Seriously, we get 2 messages everyday asking either for a girl girl play or bareback.
You change to bicurious and see the difference. Lol
Best wishes though. |
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"Hey everyone hope you’re all good, we are finding it abit hard to keep conversation going long enough to create a build up with another couple. We are new to couple swapping but have had various threesomes so we aren’t like really new to the scene but also not that experienced… Is it a quiet month or is something wrong with our profile description and or pictures?
Thank you for you help x "
Try clubs on couples only nights or couples only clubs. Lots of people here like the fantasy of a meet but don't follow through or simply do not turn up. |
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Its alot tougher than people would think if you are looking for fairly local, 4-way attraction.
Couples can be as flaky as anyone.
Last couple we starting arranging things with turned out to be two 'FWBs' who actually were cheating on partners, which meant that was a waste of time for us.
We do like a bit of messaging beforehand, but have found there is a fine line to toe, too much it all gets a bit stale and goes nowhere. |
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"What's the point of this site if everyone says go to clubs? Not everyone can, hence this site in the first place.
What I hate is the narcissists who think they are too good or the sad fuckers who get off wasting your time."
Yep totally agree on the club comment. It’s not easy for many and actually a really different experience. My partner and I like clubs sometimes but prefer more intimate private meets. We’ve found couple meeting couple to be the easiest thing to arrange here providing focus on the right people and quickly move on from the flakey dreamers. |
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"Hey everyone hope you’re all good, we are finding it abit hard to keep conversation going long enough to create a build up with another couple. We are new to couple swapping but have had various threesomes so we aren’t like really new to the scene but also not that experienced… Is it a quiet month or is something wrong with our profile description and or pictures?
Thank you for you help x
Because like us you both are "straight" and most cpls here wants girl girl fun as their male halves can't get erection.
Seriously, we get 2 messages everyday asking either for a girl girl play or bareback.
You change to bicurious and see the difference. Lol
Best wishes though. "
Not sure if you are joking but really don't think that is the case. My partner is bisexual and we meet many couples of all sexuality but the f/f is generally very small part of what happens or no part at all. The simple full swap m/f is the most standard form of play we have found. |
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"Hey everyone hope you’re all good, we are finding it abit hard to keep conversation going long enough to create a build up with another couple. We are new to couple swapping but have had various threesomes so we aren’t like really new to the scene but also not that experienced… Is it a quiet month or is something wrong with our profile description and or pictures?
Thank you for you help x
Because like us you both are "straight" and most cpls here wants girl girl fun as their male halves can't get erection.
Seriously, we get 2 messages everyday asking either for a girl girl play or bareback.
You change to bicurious and see the difference. Lol
Best wishes though.
Not sure if you are joking but really don't think that is the case. My partner is bisexual and we meet many couples of all sexuality but the f/f is generally very small part of what happens or no part at all. The simple full swap m/f is the most standard form of play we have found. "
You see I have to agree a bit here, (not about the erection part) but many couples are all about the 2 women playing, because so many men seem in to it (not always, some women genuinely love other fems).
On our joint profile when we were more active we'd regularly get, is she bi, or will she kiss my other half etc.
Even when it's pointed out I'm straight, there is a big emphasis on female bisexuality on the scene.
I even said it in that other thread, it's assumed all women are a bit bi at the v least.
Finding 4 way attraction is hard, then finding a couple who are only looking for a straight partner swap makes it even harder. |
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By *ayxWoman 34 weeks ago
brentwood |
Looking through your profile you are both clearly very attractive looking people and if you were into curvy women and Dad bods with bwc then I'd meet you with my FB anytime
On a serious note, fab can be hard work because a four way attraction is difficult to find. |
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"Some clubs also have private lockable rooms so this may be an option for you if you decide to visit a club? Xx
We nearly always go in a lockable room  "
I even learned to ignore people banging on the door demanding you let them in (Rio's crowd) |
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"Some clubs also have private lockable rooms so this may be an option for you if you decide to visit a club? Xx
We nearly always go in a lockable room
I even learned to ignore people banging on the door demanding you let them in (Rio's crowd)"
That's never happened to us! How rude of people to do that  |
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"Some clubs also have private lockable rooms so this may be an option for you if you decide to visit a club? Xx
We nearly always go in a lockable room
I even learned to ignore people banging on the door demanding you let them in (Rio's crowd)
That's never happened to us! How rude of people to do that "
We had someone boot a door in and berate us for locking a door when he wanted to watch  |
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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I don't get the obsession with attraction here, thats reserved for my other half only. Anyone else is just extra body parts. Probably never see them again after anyway. Sooner have fun with a ugly punk then a pretty chav because culturally we are more relatable. Most people here have an over inflated ego, you want to see pretty women, go to my home country Brazil another league over you Celts but without the ego. |
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Your profile seems fine to me. You'll never please everyone so keep to your interests or what you are looking for. I can't see anything about pic requests unless I've missed it, at some point you or they will ask if there's interest. The legal bit is useless as is the password if honest.
You have only been on three months.. There's plenty of organised couples events - if you set your stall out on bi play or not people respect it otherwise there's plenty of straight swap couples around. |
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By *ndianLuxCouple 34 weeks ago
West midlands |
"
Not sure if you are joking but really don't think that is the case. My partner is bisexual and we meet many couples of all sexuality but the f/f is generally very small part of what happens or no part at all. The simple full swap m/f is the most standard form of play we have found.
You see I have to agree a bit here, (not about the erection part) but many couples are all about the 2 women playing, because so many men seem in to it (not always, some women genuinely love other fems).
On our joint profile when we were more active we'd regularly get, is she bi, or will she kiss my other half etc.
Even when it's pointed out I'm straight, there is a big emphasis on female bisexuality on the scene.
I even said it in that other thread, it's assumed all women are a bit bi at the v least.
Finding 4 way attraction is hard, then finding a couple who are only looking for a straight partner swap makes it even harder. "
Trust me.
We get asked bifem play as a deal breaker .
When we was new we got tricked into a bifem play where the guy was literally wanking hard while watching bifem.
I looked at my husband and invited him to play , that point the woman stopped and jumped onto her husband.
Many times, we pass the stage of chatting , swapping face pics etc and then we get a bomb asking for bifem play . When we refuse , the meet is off.
Some cpls seems ok with a single guy meet but as soon as when it comes to cpls ,they don't want to play straight.
Each to their own and we respect that.
I am just answering to the query of OP |
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You have a nice profile, you have a requirement for younger couples which may put off the more older couples and a lot of younger couples we have spoken to are a little bit in awe of more experienced couples such as ourselves but there’s no need to be.
Just keep going and I’m sure you’ll find the right people to play with. |
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Lovely profile but your verifications would be a red flag for us. Maybe go to a club and get a few verifications off other people. They dont have to be play verifications, ones from the staff would suffice. |
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"Hey everyone hope you’re all good, we are finding it abit hard to keep conversation going long enough to create a build up with another couple. We are new to couple swapping but have had various threesomes so we aren’t like really new to the scene but also not that experienced… Is it a quiet month or is something wrong with our profile description and or pictures?
Thank you for you help x "
Jesus mary and Joseph if you guys are struggling to find a meet there's totally zero chance of any one else finding a meet .. ZERO CHANCE !!
We had a meet on for 5 days mon to Fri this week .. not one meet 
The guys that are wife's cuppa all chat all day then disappear early eve when it comes to the meet .. the amount of guys that get called in to work come 7ish is fucking untrue .. we've noticed that there s no man working through day as, they all work evening .. seriously ya gotta .
Guys get to clubs you'll do much better or even better still make friends with will n kate .. you have more chance of having a nite of fun with then two than on here .. take care xx |
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"Hey everyone hope you’re all good, we are finding it abit hard to keep conversation going long enough to create a build up with another couple. We are new to couple swapping but have had various threesomes so we aren’t like really new to the scene but also not that experienced… Is it a quiet month or is something wrong with our profile description and or pictures?
Thank you for you help x "
Jesus mary and Joseph if you guys are struggling to find a meet there's totally zero chance of any one else finding a meet .. ZERO CHANCE !!
We had a meet on for 5 days mon to Fri this week .. not one meet
The guys that are wife's cuppa all chat all day then disappear early eve when it comes to the meet .. the amount of guys that get called in to work come 7ish is fucking untrue .. we've noticed that there s no man working through day as, they all work evening .. seriously ya gotta laugh .
Guys get to clubs you'll do much better or even better still make friends with will n kate .. you have more chance of having a nite of fun with then two than on here .. take care xx |
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Contrary to popular suggestion of club night, we will advise against it, especially when you have a certain type. We will encourage attending socials though as these organised events have larger attendance and no pressure to play.
Nothing wrong with profile and also nothing wrong with replying when both are together. Where you are getting along with someone and conversation on text can just be a bit awkward, are you asking or suggesting socials or meets? This will very quickly out time wasters.
We have learnt to only engage in conversations when there is a real possibility of meets, i.e. someone with good veris, photos we like and within a reasonable distance. |
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"I don't get the obsession with attraction here, thats reserved for my other half only. Anyone else is just extra body parts. Probably never see them again after anyway. Sooner have fun with a ugly punk then a pretty chav because culturally we are more relatable. Most people here have an over inflated ego, you want to see pretty women, go to my home country Brazil another league over you Celts but without the ego."
Most people have an over inflated ego because they want to be attracted to who they sleep with?! How does that even make sense.
I'm not an any holes a goal type person nor would I want to be, I won't fuck someone I have zero attraction to just for a fuck, I'd rather stick to my standards.
I'd be absolutely gutted if someone just fucked me for the sake of a fuck and wasn't actually interested.
Mrs |
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"Being honest what would put us off (granted we are older than you look for- but the advice would still apply to those looking for our age)
Asking for face pics a) as a condition and b) without any confirmation you’ll send yours. We come across this a lot.
Might better to say if you like our profile and we like yours,happy to exchange.
We wouldnt send a face pic straight off in case you had no interest.
Secondly the only reply when together. We tried doing this and it became unmanageable. Whilst we still make big decisions together, sometimes to keep the conversation flowing we reply individually, making clear which one it is. "
Makes sense over the pictures but like us we use to send ours until our family male friend asked if we were on fabswingers .. we nearly died on the spot .. we've never sent em again .luckily the pics they are used we're on the wife's facebook so that got us, out of it . We won't chat with out seeing a clear face pic and make it clear they won't be getting one ìn return . Its been a deal breaker a few times but hey Ho there's plenty more fish in sea .. |
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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"I don't get the obsession with attraction here, thats reserved for my other half only. Anyone else is just extra body parts. Probably never see them again after anyway. Sooner have fun with a ugly punk then a pretty chav because culturally we are more relatable. Most people here have an over inflated ego, you want to see pretty women, go to my home country Brazil another league over you Celts but without the ego.
Most people have an over inflated ego because they want to be attracted to who they sleep with?! How does that even make sense.
I'm not an any holes a goal type person nor would I want to be, I won't fuck someone I have zero attraction to just for a fuck, I'd rather stick to my standards.
I'd be absolutely gutted if someone just fucked me for the sake of a fuck and wasn't actually interested.
Mrs "
Nothing wrong with been a Harlot. |
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"I don't get the obsession with attraction here, thats reserved for my other half only. Anyone else is just extra body parts. Probably never see them again after anyway. Sooner have fun with a ugly punk then a pretty chav because culturally we are more relatable. Most people here have an over inflated ego, you want to see pretty women, go to my home country Brazil another league over you Celts but without the ego.
Most people have an over inflated ego because they want to be attracted to who they sleep with?! How does that even make sense.
I'm not an any holes a goal type person nor would I want to be, I won't fuck someone I have zero attraction to just for a fuck, I'd rather stick to my standards.
I'd be absolutely gutted if someone just fucked me for the sake of a fuck and wasn't actually interested.
Mrs
Nothing wrong with been a Harlot. "
Nothing wrong with standard either.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) 34 weeks ago
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"I don't get the obsession with attraction here, thats reserved for my other half only. Anyone else is just extra body parts. Probably never see them again after anyway. Sooner have fun with a ugly punk then a pretty chav because culturally we are more relatable. Most people here have an over inflated ego, you want to see pretty women, go to my home country Brazil another league over you Celts but without the ego.
Most people have an over inflated ego because they want to be attracted to who they sleep with?! How does that even make sense.
I'm not an any holes a goal type person nor would I want to be, I won't fuck someone I have zero attraction to just for a fuck, I'd rather stick to my standards.
I'd be absolutely gutted if someone just fucked me for the sake of a fuck and wasn't actually interested.
Mrs
Nothing wrong with been a Harlot.
Nothing wrong with standard either.
Mrs "
Narcissists often claim to have high standards and morals as a way to maintain a positive self-image and gain admiration from others. This behaviour is rooted in their need for validation and admiration. By presenting themselves as morally superior, they seek to elevate their own status and control how others perceive them. It's important to recognise that this behaviour is a characteristic of narcissistic personality traits and is not indicative of genuine high standards or morals. |
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"I don't get the obsession with attraction here, thats reserved for my other half only. Anyone else is just extra body parts. Probably never see them again after anyway. Sooner have fun with a ugly punk then a pretty chav because culturally we are more relatable. Most people here have an over inflated ego, you want to see pretty women, go to my home country Brazil another league over you Celts but without the ego.
Most people have an over inflated ego because they want to be attracted to who they sleep with?! How does that even make sense.
I'm not an any holes a goal type person nor would I want to be, I won't fuck someone I have zero attraction to just for a fuck, I'd rather stick to my standards.
I'd be absolutely gutted if someone just fucked me for the sake of a fuck and wasn't actually interested.
Mrs
Nothing wrong with been a Harlot.
Nothing wrong with standard either.
Mrs
Narcissists often claim to have high standards and morals as a way to maintain a positive self-image and gain admiration from others. This behaviour is rooted in their need for validation and admiration. By presenting themselves as morally superior, they seek to elevate their own status and control how others perceive them. It's important to recognise that this behaviour is a characteristic of narcissistic personality traits and is not indicative of genuine high standards or morals."
Ok so now people who want to sleep with people they are attracted to are narcissistic 
I can't say my standards are overly high I require attraction and the ability to get along, that doesn't make me have a self inflated ego nor a narcissist.
I can't find pleasure in fucking someone I find minging.....
Each to their own, people are allowed to want there to be attraction, no one is asking for a model here.
You fuck who you want & I'll fuck who I want, I don't need to throw names around in some vain attempt to justify myself.
Have a lovely day.
Mrs |
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By *archelCouple 33 weeks ago
A field somewhere |
"I don't get the obsession with attraction here, thats reserved for my other half only. Anyone else is just extra body parts. Probably never see them again after anyway. Sooner have fun with a ugly punk then a pretty chav because culturally we are more relatable. Most people here have an over inflated ego, you want to see pretty women, go to my home country Brazil another league over you Celts but without the ego.
Most people have an over inflated ego because they want to be attracted to who they sleep with?! How does that even make sense.
I'm not an any holes a goal type person nor would I want to be, I won't fuck someone I have zero attraction to just for a fuck, I'd rather stick to my standards.
I'd be absolutely gutted if someone just fucked me for the sake of a fuck and wasn't actually interested.
Mrs
Nothing wrong with been a Harlot.
Nothing wrong with standard either.
Mrs
Narcissists often claim to have high standards and morals as a way to maintain a positive self-image and gain admiration from others. This behaviour is rooted in their need for validation and admiration. By presenting themselves as morally superior, they seek to elevate their own status and control how others perceive them. It's important to recognise that this behaviour is a characteristic of narcissistic personality traits and is not indicative of genuine high standards or morals."
Absolute rubbish.
I could not fuck someone I'm not attracted to, that doesn't make me a narcissist, it makes me normal. There are those however who are happy with any port in a storm, they just want to get their dicks wet and they aren't bothered who with. There are also those who have a blinkered attraction to people I wouldn't even consider playing with (and for them it's the same vice versa).
I have often stopped the mrs from playing (she likes a bourbon when we're out) because she may make an error in judgement and regret her choice the day after, in those circumstances we chat the day after, and if when sober, she still would play, then its game on for her. That isn't narcissistic either, it's making sure she makes the right choice for her. |
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By *archelCouple 33 weeks ago
A field somewhere |
Ps, to the OP.
If we were your type, we would already have a hotel booked over your way.
Don't drop your standards just to get a meet, after all, as the saying goes, patience is a virtue. |
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"
Narcissists often claim to have high standards and morals as a way to maintain a positive self-image and gain admiration from others. This behaviour is rooted in their need for validation and admiration. By presenting themselves as morally superior, they seek to elevate their own status and control how others perceive them. It's important to recognise that this behaviour is a characteristic of narcissistic personality traits and is not indicative of genuine high standards or morals."
There is rather basic logical mistake here - A implies B doesn't mean B implies A, all apples are fruits doesn't mean all fruits are apples.
All (or many ) narcissists claiming to have high standards and morals as a way to maintain a positive self-image and gain admiration from others doesn't mean all people who claim to have high standards and morals are narcissists and claiming such things to maintain positive self-image etc. Some people just have high standards. |
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"Hey everyone hope you’re all good, we are finding it abit hard to keep conversation going long enough to create a build up with another couple. We are new to couple swapping but have had various threesomes so we aren’t like really new to the scene but also not that experienced… Is it a quiet month or is something wrong with our profile description and or pictures?
Thank you for you help x "
A lot of points have been covered here about the difficulties of getting something to work between 4 different people. A few points on how and where to go about stuff.
However I just wanted to make comment about keeping conversation going. I think trying to keep conversation going until you meet itself is often death. You really can't tell if it's going to work or not until you meet. Personally we like to do a bit of the ground work and establish if we'd like to meet them and them us? Once we've established this we basically just put the conversation on the back burner until we actually meet in person. We will basically say then if we're happy to meet let's keep the getting to know each other till we meet in person. Most couple react positively to this and think the same. Then any futher messages are simply to make/finalise arrangements. That way we don't risk misunderstandings or conversation getting stale. Furthermore if the meet ultimately doesn't happen we've not wasted loads of time with back and forth chatter.
Mr |
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"
However I just wanted to make comment about keeping conversation going. I think trying to keep conversation going until you meet itself is often death. You really can't tell if it's going to work or not until you meet. Personally we like to do a bit of the ground work and establish if we'd like to meet them and them us? Once we've established this we basically just put the conversation on the back burner until we actually meet in person. We will basically say then if we're happy to meet let's keep the getting to know each other till we meet in person. Most couple react positively to this and think the same. Then any futher messages are simply to make/finalise arrangements. That way we don't risk misunderstandings or conversation getting stale. Furthermore if the meet ultimately doesn't happen we've not wasted loads of time with back and forth chatter.
Mr"
Each to their own and this may work for some, just sharing learning from personal experience. If we like someone we will prefer a no pressure social as soon as. If we really like someone and them us, we may plan a social with potential of more.
Can't afford time for back and forth messaging unless a meet has been agreed. |
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However I just wanted to make comment about keeping conversation going. I think trying to keep conversation going until you meet itself is often death. You really can't tell if it's going to work or not until you meet. Personally we like to do a bit of the ground work and establish if we'd like to meet them and them us? Once we've established this we basically just put the conversation on the back burner until we actually meet in person. We will basically say then if we're happy to meet let's keep the getting to know each other till we meet in person. Most couple react positively to this and think the same. Then any futher messages are simply to make/finalise arrangements. That way we don't risk misunderstandings or conversation getting stale. Furthermore if the meet ultimately doesn't happen we've not wasted loads of time with back and forth chatter.
Mr
Each to their own and this may work for some, just sharing learning from personal experience. If we like someone we will prefer a no pressure social as soon as. If we really like someone and them us, we may plan a social with potential of more.
Can't afford time for back and forth messaging unless a meet has been agreed."
I think you have slightly misunderstood. Likewise we don't like endless back and forth conversation. My point was that back and forth chat can be a killer. However we're rarely free to just arrange a meet within a short time frame. Thus why (once we've established potential) we like to put the chat on the back burner until we meet in person. |
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Trying to get a four way attraction first off and then all four chatting is quite hard.
We like to chat to both to get a feel that both want involvement but we’d be looking to meet for a social sooner rather than later.
Chatting is good for building a connection but too much and you just get forgotten about.
That’s why we meet more singles as trying to get four people working towards meeting is tough.
K |
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