FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Auto Polite Reply?

Auto Polite Reply?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

There are regular discussions in this forum between those that receive 3.76 trillion messages a day from unsuitable men and the men themselves. Much revolves around the refusal of the recipients to reply to a message that may have taken a while to craft by the male.

So I have a suggestion.

This site is covered by "buttons" and links that take you to all places on the site. Why not have a "Thanks but we are not interested button?" This would send a reply to the messenger, not unlock the warning that they have been contacted but not replied and would also delete the original message.

Would that work?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think thats a y button would soon be worn out with so much use

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"There are regular discussions in this forum between those that receive 3.76 trillion messages a day from unsuitable men and the men themselves. Much revolves around the refusal of the recipients to reply to a message that may have taken a while to craft by the male.

So I have a suggestion.

Would that work?

Theres a warning that they have been contacted but not replied? Didn't know that....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

So I have a suggestion.

Would that work?

Theres a warning that they have been contacted but not replied? Didn't know that...."

Yep and it works for winks. If they reply it dissapears. See, its a different life if you are a woman.

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

This would send a reply to the messenger, not unlock the warning that they have been contacted but not replied and would also delete the original message.

Would that work?

Theres a warning that they have been contacted but not replied? Didn't know that....

Yep and it works for winks. If they reply it dissapears. See, its a different life if you are a woman.

Indeed it is and you learn something new every day - Ive only been on the site 4 years

If thats the case Im now wondering whether it is actually better NOT to reply to messages, full stop...

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"If thats the case Im now wondering whether it is actually better NOT to reply to messages, full stop..."

LOL if it prevented them from messaging like the wink one does then it would be ideal. Unfortunately it doesn't.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i think what would help is liek another iste im on.. when u block something u completely disappear to them.. no messages in the sent box and they cannot see u other than the forums.. so u dont come up in searches.

certainyl helps with those cowards who sent abuse and then block u.. cos their abusive message just goes out ur inbox..

so you could just block if not interested and they couldnt check their sent box to see if its read or deleted etc cos u wont be there

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

So I have a suggestion.

Would that work?

There is another site I am on which has that. I thought it was a great idea and happily used it. Stopped doing so now. Why? Because guys regularly ignore repeated 'not interested' messages. I had one guy who I sent 8 to!! I wanted to see how many times he would keep trying - then I got bored and blocked him.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You'd only end up with the "why not?" message or the " so I'm not good enough to reply to personally/only worth an auto message" messages in return.

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Let's face it - some people are just arsey, which is why they find it hard to get meets.

I prefer to stick to the many nice people who are reasonable and looking for fun rather than an argument.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Apparently auto replies are a function on another site and their forums are full of posts by guys moaning their wotsits off about rude lazy women sending auto replies rather than taking the time to hand craft a personal reply!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So I have a suggestion.

Would that work?

The way I see it, there's already the option available. It's called the delete then the block buttons. Takes seconds

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"If thats the case Im now wondering whether it is actually better NOT to reply to messages, full stop...

LOL if it prevented them from messaging like the wink one does then it would be ideal. Unfortunately it doesn't. "

Im learning all sorts today - so what happens with the wink one?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This would send a reply to the messenger, not unlock the warning that they have been contacted but not replied and would also delete the original message.

Would that work?

Theres a warning that they have been contacted but not replied? Didn't know that....

Yep and it works for winks. If they reply it dissapears. See, its a different life if you are a woman.

Indeed it is and you learn something new every day - Ive only been on the site 4 years

If thats the case Im now wondering whether it is actually better NOT to reply to messages, full stop..."

In all honesty, If you reply and say "no thanks" and they persist in harassing you, you have the evidence to report them and perhaps get them banned. If you do nothing there is less you can do.

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By *uncpl2015Couple over a year ago

Bridgend Area

So I have a suggestion.

Would that work?

yes it would be perfect.. we tried two other sites like this one but the only good thing was they both did that for winks and messages you had option to click a button and send an automatic thanks but no thanks message. would probably stop alot of never get a reply posts athough alot might then moan thet getting too many refusal messages.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

for all the ladies and couples who have never seen it, it says

"You've already sent [Fabswingers name] a message and not received a reply back.

If someone doesn't reply, it's not rude, it just means they're not interested. You're better off messaging people who you haven't contacted already. PS. Because some women and couples get hundreds of mails each day, we take a dim view of anyone harassing those who don't reply."

So there. Live and learn

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"i think what would help is liek another iste im on.. when u block something u completely disappear to them.. no messages in the sent box and they cannot see u other than the forums.. so u dont come up in searches.

certainyl helps with those cowards who sent abuse and then block u.. cos their abusive message just goes out ur inbox..

so you could just block if not interested and they couldnt check their sent box to see if its read or deleted etc cos u wont be there"

No reason not to have a block function.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If thats the case Im now wondering whether it is actually better NOT to reply to messages, full stop...

LOL if it prevented them from messaging like the wink one does then it would be ideal. Unfortunately it doesn't. "

The warning does not PREVENT it warns. You can still send them something if you want to be annoying.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"If thats the case Im now wondering whether it is actually better NOT to reply to messages, full stop...

LOL if it prevented them from messaging like the wink one does then it would be ideal. Unfortunately it doesn't.

Im learning all sorts today - so what happens with the wink one?"

If they don't delete the wink and you wink them again within 30 days you get a message that you can't wink again. It would be so cool if this site could stop people from sending message after message even if there is no reply.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Apparently auto replies are a function on another site and their forums are full of posts by guys moaning their wotsits off about rude lazy women sending auto replies rather than taking the time to hand craft a personal reply!!

We cannot win! Well at least it could auto block and perhaps you could adjust the wording to threaten them with a Mafia reprisal???

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By *issHottieBottieWoman over a year ago

Kent

"You'd only end up with the "why not?" message or the " so I'm not good enough to reply to personally/only worth an auto message" messages in return.

This!!

It's been suggested a few times before. But it won't stop the why nots?

Then it was suggested it would send a thanks but no thanks then block automatically. But then people would just moan about that.

You'll never please everyone x

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

If thats the case Im now wondering whether it is actually better NOT to reply to messages, full stop...

In all honesty, If you reply and say "no thanks" and they persist in harassing you, you have the evidence to report them and perhaps get them banned. If you do nothing there is less you can do."

Delete and block. All you need to do.

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Im learning all sorts today - so what happens with the wink one?

If they don't delete the wink and you wink them again within 30 days you get a message that you can't wink again.

Well I never knew that! Thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

So I have a suggestion.

Would that work?

The way I see it, there's already the option available. It's called the delete then the block buttons. Takes seconds

True but the complaints are about just that sort of action. I was seeking a reasonable middle way.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman over a year ago

Kent

"for all the ladies and couples who have never seen it, it says

"You've already sent [Fabswingers name] a message and not received a reply back.

So there. Live and learn

Good grief!! Well that's good to know. Although now I'm even more bemused as to what possesses a few people to carry on messaging me!! Lol x

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

So I have a suggestion.

Would that work?

The way I see it, there's already the option available. It's called the delete then the block buttons. Takes seconds

True but the complaints are about just that sort of action. I was seeking a reasonable middle way.

They tried it once. People complained about the auto reply message.

Honestly, whatever this site does, people will complain.

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

So I have a suggestion.

Would that work?

The way I see it, there's already the option available. It's called the delete then the block buttons. Takes seconds

True but the complaints are about just that sort of action. I was seeking a reasonable middle way.

Yes, but you cannot be reasonable with unreasonable people. You an only ignore them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If thats the case Im now wondering whether it is actually better NOT to reply to messages, full stop...

LOL if it prevented them from messaging like the wink one does then it would be ideal. Unfortunately it doesn't.

Im learning all sorts today - so what happens with the wink one?

Well ADMIN and MODERATOR - What about it? Any suggestions or proposals guys and gals??

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

So I have a suggestion.

Would that work?

The way I see it, there's already the option available. It's called the delete then the block buttons. Takes seconds

True but the complaints are about just that sort of action. I was seeking a reasonable middle way.

They tried it once. People complained about the auto reply message.

Honestly, whatever this site does, people will complain."

Then they are being unreasonable and deserve to be ignored. Yes? But no reply at all and they may think you are still considering it.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

So I have a suggestion.

Would that work?

The way I see it, there's already the option available. It's called the delete then the block buttons. Takes seconds

True but the complaints are about just that sort of action. I was seeking a reasonable middle way.

They tried it once. People complained about the auto reply message.

Honestly, whatever this site does, people will complain.

Then they are being unreasonable and deserve to be ignored. Yes? But no reply at all and they may think you are still considering it."

If they bob into their sent folder and see 'deleted' next to their message, thats my reply.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

So I have a suggestion.

Would that work?

The way I see it, there's already the option available. It's called the delete then the block buttons. Takes seconds

True but the complaints are about just that sort of action. I was seeking a reasonable middle way.

They tried it once. People complained about the auto reply message.

Honestly, whatever this site does, people will complain.

Then they are being unreasonable and deserve to be ignored. Yes? But no reply at all and they may think you are still considering it.

If they bob into their sent folder and see 'deleted' next to their message, thats my reply."

deleted

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Seriously though, I am not sure what else this site can do to let the members know that they are not entitled to a reply. It's on the FAQs. It's on the warning message when you send a second message. It's referred to on these forums constantly. And I am still not sure why people would prefer an inbox full of 'no' messages. Certainly wouldn't make me feel better.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Seriously though, I am not sure what else this site can do to let the members know that they are not entitled to a reply. It's on the FAQs. It's on the warning message when you send a second message. It's referred to on these forums constantly. And I am still not sure why people would prefer an inbox full of 'no' messages. Certainly wouldn't make me feel better."

DELETED

well perhaps not

I just thought it was a positive act to say you are not interested. If a man has spent, say, 15 minutes constructing what he believes to be a nice interesting approach and his message gets deleted without comment it is only human to feel rejected.

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

DELETED

well perhaps not

It is still a 'no', which is still rejection and still a negative. And I have yet to receive a mail from anyone which took 15 minutes. My profile took less time than that and it is pretty long!

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

DELETED

well perhaps not

It is still a 'no', which is still rejection and still a negative. And I have yet to receive a mail from anyone which took 15 minutes. My profile took less time than that and it is pretty long!"

It must take ages for them to misspell two lines.

Ditto DB9 - not sure how long a message would be to take 15 mins to write.

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

DELETED

well perhaps not

It is still a 'no', which is still rejection and still a negative. And I have yet to receive a mail from anyone which took 15 minutes. My profile took less time than that and it is pretty long!

It must take ages for them to misspell two lines.

Ditto DB9 - not sure how long a message would be to take 15 mins to write."

I know I could easily write more than a side of A4 in that time.

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By *leurCouple over a year ago

West Hull

I have an auto reply.

It's "No thanks".

It often gets an abusive response and I wish I had just told them to FO in the first place

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you type No thanks, into the quick forum search you will see quite a few threads and replies on this subject. xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have an auto reply.

It's "No thanks".

It often gets an abusive response and I wish I had just told them to FO in the first place

So, in conclusion, its ladies and couples who say NO to the idea as it wont work and men; who don't have an opinion?

I seem to have tapped into a rich seam if apathy here.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I have an auto reply.

It's "No thanks".

It often gets an abusive response and I wish I had just told them to FO in the first place

So, in conclusion, its ladies and couples who say NO to the idea as it wont work and men; who don't have an opinion?

I seem to have tapped into a rich seam if apathy here.

Because its been tried and didn't work. I'm not being apathetic, I'm being realistic.

Although you are right that it is the people who send the most messages who seem to ask about this.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman over a year ago

Kent

I'll throw in my 2 pennies worth.

In my time on fab I've tried a few different tactics when replying (or not to messages)

I've tried the standard 'thanks for the message but no thanks, good luck on site and happy swinging' - this has been met with silence, a return message to thank me for replying or messages asking why not etc and some have sent nasty messages in return.

I've tried deleting with no reply- this has mostly gone down ok although a few have then sent another message asking why I didn't reply and a few have gotten nasty again.

I've tried the 'thanks but no thanks because you're out of my age range, not what I'm looking for, have a face like a bag of spanners (joke)' then I normally get 'yes but age is just a number I can go all night' type replies.

It's not nice to just delete messages and if I knew that everyone would happily accept a thanks but no thanks message I would send them. But they don't. So it's easier to not reply than to reply then get messages back then get annoyed and block etc x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'll throw in my 2 pennies worth.

In my time on fab I've tried a few different tactics when replying (or not to messages)

I've tried deleting with no reply- this has mostly gone down ok although a few have then sent another message asking why I didn't reply and a few have gotten nasty again.

I do understand both sides. I have on occasion received a "Thanks but no thanks" and have responded politely because they took the time to tell me.

The recipients, however, seem to have been gob smacked that i was not rude! They expected a stream of invective. My belief is that that sort of reply is totally unjustified.

I guess we will all wander on in our own way. The complainers and the deleters.

Happy swinging!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well said miss hottie bottie! It's all right for guys on here to say -report anyone who is abusive, grow a thicker skin etc but don't under estimate how unpleasant it can be for single ladies on here to receive such nasty messages.

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"Well said miss hottie bottie! It's all right for guys on here to say -report anyone who is abusive, grow a thicker skin etc but don't under estimate how unpleasant it can be for single ladies on here to receive such nasty messages. "

When you get them regularly - even daily - it is tantamount to bullying. Who the hell comes on here for that?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Let's face it - some people are just arsey, which is why they find it hard to get meets.

I prefer to stick to the many nice people who are reasonable and looking for fun rather than an argument."

Completely agree, well said. There is surely enough mechanism already to navigate your way through Fabs. We don't need spoon feeding x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

When you get them regularly - even daily - it is tantamount to bullying. Who the hell comes on here for that?"

I do not hold with any form of bullying of women. Any offensive or bullying messages should go straight to the admin.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" I was seeking a reasonable middle way.

I'm afraid that when it comes to telling someone "no thanks, i don't want to fuck you"...there are very rarely any reasonable middle ways...no matter how you put it...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I message someone and they delete my message or don't reply, I get the message! I don't expect anything more from total strangers and don't think they are being rude at all! The delete and block keys are there to be used afterall.

Lets also remember, the majority of the long winded messages that certain men send are cut and paste jobs anyway! Takes a lot of thought to do that...NOT!

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

Yep! Another site I'm on sends thanks for the message but you're outside what I'm looking for to anyone outside your filters and a "sorry, not interested" button.

This site doesn't have a forum but a diary function. You wouldn't believe the vitriolic, whining diary entries regarding filters, automated responses etc.

Some of the men scare me and that's saying something. Their sense of entitlement stems from being charged £30 a month...whilst the women are free!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i take a deleted as a no thanks! a "been read" as a maybe, for a week at most, and if no reply at all, then its a no. simple as that.

instead of an auto reply, perhaps a tick box on the send message/ wink that states, "if you get no reply, please refrain from re messaging etc"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If I message someone and they delete my message or don't reply, I get the message! I don't expect anything more from total strangers and don't think they are being rude at all! The delete and block keys are there to be used afterall.

Lets also remember, the majority of the long winded messages that certain men send are cut and paste jobs anyway! Takes a lot of thought to do that...NOT!

How do you know they are cut and paste?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Because they send the same message time and time again. One guy even tried to litter his message with the name of the lady he was sending it to, unfortunately he didn't change all the names to mine, so I was called Dee in half and Lisa in the other half!

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

Lets also remember, the majority of the long winded messages that certain men send are cut and paste jobs anyway! Takes a lot of thought to do that...NOT!

How do you know they are cut and paste?

Sometimes it's obvious. They copy their profile, say they're attaching pictures they play with couples (I'm single), looking to explore their Dom side (I'm seeking subs), happy to meet in hotels/clubs (I don't)...sloppy and lazy.

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

Here's my cut & paste one;

"Dear bored couple/single bint (delete as applicable)

You have been carefully selected by an elite panel of trained chimps to receive a message from the Demi-god of swing, all round time-travelling action hero and awesome dude that is Invictus.

Send face and boob pictures immediately for a chance to win a night of pleasure for me.

We appreciate you will be in shock at your good fortune but this offer expires in 12 days so get your arse in gear"

Works a treat. Dunno what the fuss is about

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm having that. That's my new copy n paste generic mail sorted, cheers

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

"I'm having that. That's my new copy n paste generic mail sorted, cheers

Cheeky bastard!

At least change the name in it!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's your own fault, putting all your top pulling moves out there for the masses

Have a minstrel as payment

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

"It's your own fault, putting all your top pulling moves out there for the masses

Have a minstrel as payment"

I'll save it for later, I've just decided to be a White Knight on another thread

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bandwagon and jump spring immediately to mind lol

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By *he Happy ManMan over a year ago

Merseyside

I believe admin tried a thanks but no thanks button. People came to the forums to complain they thought the polite no thanks was impersonal.

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By *he Happy ManMan over a year ago

Merseyside

So, in conclusion, its ladies and couples who say NO to the idea as it wont work and men; who don't have an opinion?

I seem to have tapped into a rich seam if apathy here.

I am male and I say no for the following reasons that have been stated by various posters already.

Some people will complain the polite no thanks message button is impersonal. They would complain it would only take a minute or two for the woman, couple or guy to type a quick no thanks.

As many people will testify if you are not interested it is often better to just delete the message than sending a no thanks. Reason being some people cannot take rejection. When they get a no or a polite no thanks they send another email abusing the person/people who said no to them or they send a why not message.

Admin states many times on this site if you do not get a reply take it as a no thanks.

Somebody deletes your email without replying to you = a no thanks. Somebody sends you an email saying no thanks = a no thanks. Why does it matter whether they reply with no thanks or just delete your mail? Either way you are getting told no. I don't see why getting told in an email no thanks is any better than just having your email deleted.

There really does need to be a frequently asked questions section added to the fab forums lol.

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By *he Happy ManMan over a year ago

Merseyside

Lets also remember, the majority of the long winded messages that certain men send are cut and paste jobs anyway! Takes a lot of thought to do that...NOT!

How do you know they are cut and paste?

They will mention nothing about the person or profile, it will be a slightly impersonal standard message, they may even make mistakes for example saying something like I loved your profile pics when that person or couple has no pics on their profile etc.

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