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Question for couples
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By (user no longer on site) OP 48 weeks ago
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Have you ever been approached by other singles or couples at, say, a bar/club/pub, at beach/by pool on holiday for some fun?
If so, how did it go. Let us hear your stories? |
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Many years ago we saw a couple in a bar who were giving us a lot of eye contact, we then got chatting and dancing with them in a nightclub later. Things got quite flirty, (more than the usual friendly) but we were young and didn't realise until after that they were probably up for some fun. Alas, nothing happened. |
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Yes, we've been approached twice by couples in a non swinging setting. One couple separated us in a pincer movement in the swimming pool, we both knew what their game was but played innocent as neither of us were interested. Another couple who were staying in the same hotel as us made it clear they were interested but we'd been drinking and don't make decisions like that if we have. I think they were offended but no offence was intended |
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Nope never. Never paid attention to such advances or had the eye for it. Having said that now that we have begun looking in to this lifestyle, we notice individuals eye her or him up. But never had anyone come forward and speak to us. |
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"No, but I wish they would !!"
It's awkward though. You've got no chance to check with your partner if they're interested, you have no idea what the other couple are in to and they have no idea what you're in to either. |
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By *ickD80Man 48 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"No, but I wish they would !!
It's awkward though. You've got no chance to check with your partner if they're interested, you have no idea what the other couple are in to and they have no idea what you're in to either. "
Why are you assuming that anyone who’s going to approach a couple will approach them separately rather than together? I don’t see why anyone would approach a couple separately with a view to having fun with them to be honest because it’s obvious that they’re not going to agree to doing anything without checking with their partner first….unless they have a very unhealthy dynamic in which one partner decides and the other has to follow.
You say that you have no chance to check with your partner if they’re interested or to find out what their interests are or tell them your interests but surely you can just say something like ‘well I’m interested but I’ll have to check with my partner and maybe we can discuss our interests first to see if we have any in common’ which would allow you to check with your partner and discuss interests, that you claim to have no chance of doing.
You describe it like you’ve been forced apart from your partner and stopped from talking to each other and that it’s a take it now or lose it forever deal that’s being offered to you. On what planet do you think that anyone is going to expect you to agree to play as a couple without being allowed to discuss it with your partner first? |
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"No, but I wish they would !!
It's awkward though. You've got no chance to check with your partner if they're interested, you have no idea what the other couple are in to and they have no idea what you're in to either.
Why are you assuming that anyone who’s going to approach a couple will approach them separately rather than together? I don’t see why anyone would approach a couple separately with a view to having fun with them to be honest because it’s obvious that they’re not going to agree to doing anything without checking with their partner first….unless they have a very unhealthy dynamic in which one partner decides and the other has to follow.
You say that you have no chance to check with your partner if they’re interested or to find out what their interests are or tell them your interests but surely you can just say something like ‘well I’m interested but I’ll have to check with my partner and maybe we can discuss our interests first to see if we have any in common’ which would allow you to check with your partner and discuss interests, that you claim to have no chance of doing.
You describe it like you’ve been forced apart from your partner and stopped from talking to each other and that it’s a take it now or lose it forever deal that’s being offered to you. On what planet do you think that anyone is going to expect you to agree to play as a couple without being allowed to discuss it with your partner first?"
did you read my first post in this thread in which we were separated by a couple in a pincer movement?
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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"No, but I wish they would !!
It's awkward though. You've got no chance to check with your partner if they're interested, you have no idea what the other couple are in to and they have no idea what you're in to either.
Why are you assuming that anyone who’s going to approach a couple will approach them separately rather than together? I don’t see why anyone would approach a couple separately with a view to having fun with them to be honest because it’s obvious that they’re not going to agree to doing anything without checking with their partner first….unless they have a very unhealthy dynamic in which one partner decides and the other has to follow.
You say that you have no chance to check with your partner if they’re interested or to find out what their interests are or tell them your interests but surely you can just say something like ‘well I’m interested but I’ll have to check with my partner and maybe we can discuss our interests first to see if we have any in common’ which would allow you to check with your partner and discuss interests, that you claim to have no chance of doing.
You describe it like you’ve been forced apart from your partner and stopped from talking to each other and that it’s a take it now or lose it forever deal that’s being offered to you. On what planet do you think that anyone is going to expect you to agree to play as a couple without being allowed to discuss it with your partner first?"
Goodness, you are very angry aren't you  |
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By *ickD80Man 48 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"No, but I wish they would !!
It's awkward though. You've got no chance to check with your partner if they're interested, you have no idea what the other couple are in to and they have no idea what you're in to either.
Why are you assuming that anyone who’s going to approach a couple will approach them separately rather than together? I don’t see why anyone would approach a couple separately with a view to having fun with them to be honest because it’s obvious that they’re not going to agree to doing anything without checking with their partner first….unless they have a very unhealthy dynamic in which one partner decides and the other has to follow.
You say that you have no chance to check with your partner if they’re interested or to find out what their interests are or tell them your interests but surely you can just say something like ‘well I’m interested but I’ll have to check with my partner and maybe we can discuss our interests first to see if we have any in common’ which would allow you to check with your partner and discuss interests, that you claim to have no chance of doing.
You describe it like you’ve been forced apart from your partner and stopped from talking to each other and that it’s a take it now or lose it forever deal that’s being offered to you. On what planet do you think that anyone is going to expect you to agree to play as a couple without being allowed to discuss it with your partner first?
did you read my first post in this thread in which we were separated by a couple in a pincer movement?
"
Yeah but what was stopping you saying that you need to talk to your partner and asking them what their interests are? Were you both pinned in separate positions and unable to move anywhere? If someone did anything to stop me going over to my partner and tried to keep us separated then the last thing I’d be thinking about is having any sort of fun with them. |
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By *ickD80Man 48 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"No, but I wish they would !!
It's awkward though. You've got no chance to check with your partner if they're interested, you have no idea what the other couple are in to and they have no idea what you're in to either.
Why are you assuming that anyone who’s going to approach a couple will approach them separately rather than together? I don’t see why anyone would approach a couple separately with a view to having fun with them to be honest because it’s obvious that they’re not going to agree to doing anything without checking with their partner first….unless they have a very unhealthy dynamic in which one partner decides and the other has to follow.
You say that you have no chance to check with your partner if they’re interested or to find out what their interests are or tell them your interests but surely you can just say something like ‘well I’m interested but I’ll have to check with my partner and maybe we can discuss our interests first to see if we have any in common’ which would allow you to check with your partner and discuss interests, that you claim to have no chance of doing.
You describe it like you’ve been forced apart from your partner and stopped from talking to each other and that it’s a take it now or lose it forever deal that’s being offered to you. On what planet do you think that anyone is going to expect you to agree to play as a couple without being allowed to discuss it with your partner first?
Goodness, you are very angry aren't you "
Yeah, my knickers are really in a twist. |
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"No, but I wish they would !!
It's awkward though. You've got no chance to check with your partner if they're interested, you have no idea what the other couple are in to and they have no idea what you're in to either.
Why are you assuming that anyone who’s going to approach a couple will approach them separately rather than together? I don’t see why anyone would approach a couple separately with a view to having fun with them to be honest because it’s obvious that they’re not going to agree to doing anything without checking with their partner first….unless they have a very unhealthy dynamic in which one partner decides and the other has to follow.
You say that you have no chance to check with your partner if they’re interested or to find out what their interests are or tell them your interests but surely you can just say something like ‘well I’m interested but I’ll have to check with my partner and maybe we can discuss our interests first to see if we have any in common’ which would allow you to check with your partner and discuss interests, that you claim to have no chance of doing.
You describe it like you’ve been forced apart from your partner and stopped from talking to each other and that it’s a take it now or lose it forever deal that’s being offered to you. On what planet do you think that anyone is going to expect you to agree to play as a couple without being allowed to discuss it with your partner first?
did you read my first post in this thread in which we were separated by a couple in a pincer movement?
Yeah but what was stopping you saying that you need to talk to your partner and asking them what their interests are? Were you both pinned in separate positions and unable to move anywhere? If someone did anything to stop me going over to my partner and tried to keep us separated then the last thing I’d be thinking about is having any sort of fun with them. "
Yeah, the last thing we were thinking about was having fun with them . Separating people is a pretty dick move.
I'm not sure why you're questioning our experience though. |
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Opposite, I was once out dancing and drinking and a couple kept dancing near me, both eyeing me up. I was sure they wanted me but wasn’t brave enough to chat / dance with them and see what might happen. Gutted now! |
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By *ickD80Man 48 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"No, but I wish they would !!
It's awkward though. You've got no chance to check with your partner if they're interested, you have no idea what the other couple are in to and they have no idea what you're in to either.
Why are you assuming that anyone who’s going to approach a couple will approach them separately rather than together? I don’t see why anyone would approach a couple separately with a view to having fun with them to be honest because it’s obvious that they’re not going to agree to doing anything without checking with their partner first….unless they have a very unhealthy dynamic in which one partner decides and the other has to follow.
You say that you have no chance to check with your partner if they’re interested or to find out what their interests are or tell them your interests but surely you can just say something like ‘well I’m interested but I’ll have to check with my partner and maybe we can discuss our interests first to see if we have any in common’ which would allow you to check with your partner and discuss interests, that you claim to have no chance of doing.
You describe it like you’ve been forced apart from your partner and stopped from talking to each other and that it’s a take it now or lose it forever deal that’s being offered to you. On what planet do you think that anyone is going to expect you to agree to play as a couple without being allowed to discuss it with your partner first?
did you read my first post in this thread in which we were separated by a couple in a pincer movement?
Yeah but what was stopping you saying that you need to talk to your partner and asking them what their interests are? Were you both pinned in separate positions and unable to move anywhere? If someone did anything to stop me going over to my partner and tried to keep us separated then the last thing I’d be thinking about is having any sort of fun with them.
Yeah, the last thing we were thinking about was having fun with them . Separating people is a pretty dick move.
I'm not sure why you're questioning our experience though. "
I’m not questioning your experience, did you read what I said?
Yeah, that happened to you but it doesn’t mean every experience of a couple approaching another couple is like that. Someone said they’d like it to happen to them and you replied saying that it’s awkward and you can’t ask your partner etc as if to say that if it does happen to them it’ll be exactly the same as how it happened to you. That’s what I’m questioning.
It’s like someone saying ‘has anyone been to London’ and I reply saying ‘I went to London and it rained all day’ then someone replies ‘I’d love to go to London’ and I reply saying ‘yeah but it rains all day there’. |
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"No, but I wish they would !!
It's awkward though. You've got no chance to check with your partner if they're interested, you have no idea what the other couple are in to and they have no idea what you're in to either.
Why are you assuming that anyone who’s going to approach a couple will approach them separately rather than together? I don’t see why anyone would approach a couple separately with a view to having fun with them to be honest because it’s obvious that they’re not going to agree to doing anything without checking with their partner first….unless they have a very unhealthy dynamic in which one partner decides and the other has to follow.
You say that you have no chance to check with your partner if they’re interested or to find out what their interests are or tell them your interests but surely you can just say something like ‘well I’m interested but I’ll have to check with my partner and maybe we can discuss our interests first to see if we have any in common’ which would allow you to check with your partner and discuss interests, that you claim to have no chance of doing.
You describe it like you’ve been forced apart from your partner and stopped from talking to each other and that it’s a take it now or lose it forever deal that’s being offered to you. On what planet do you think that anyone is going to expect you to agree to play as a couple without being allowed to discuss it with your partner first?
did you read my first post in this thread in which we were separated by a couple in a pincer movement?
Yeah but what was stopping you saying that you need to talk to your partner and asking them what their interests are? Were you both pinned in separate positions and unable to move anywhere? If someone did anything to stop me going over to my partner and tried to keep us separated then the last thing I’d be thinking about is having any sort of fun with them.
Yeah, the last thing we were thinking about was having fun with them . Separating people is a pretty dick move.
I'm not sure why you're questioning our experience though.
I’m not questioning your experience, did you read what I said?
Yeah, that happened to you but it doesn’t mean every experience of a couple approaching another couple is like that. Someone said they’d like it to happen to them and you replied saying that it’s awkward and you can’t ask your partner etc as if to say that if it does happen to them it’ll be exactly the same as how it happened to you. That’s what I’m questioning.
It’s like someone saying ‘has anyone been to London’ and I reply saying ‘I went to London and it rained all day’ then someone replies ‘I’d love to go to London’ and I reply saying ‘yeah but it rains all day there’. "
I did read what you said, it includes the following
'Yeah but what was stopping you saying that you need to talk to your partner and asking them what their interests are? Were you both pinned in separate positions and unable to move anywhere?'
Which to my mind is directly questioning my experience.
I hope the couple I responded to choose to either ignore my response or take it as something to consider if they are ever lucky enough to be approached.
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By *ickD80Man 48 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"No, but I wish they would !!
It's awkward though. You've got no chance to check with your partner if they're interested, you have no idea what the other couple are in to and they have no idea what you're in to either.
Why are you assuming that anyone who’s going to approach a couple will approach them separately rather than together? I don’t see why anyone would approach a couple separately with a view to having fun with them to be honest because it’s obvious that they’re not going to agree to doing anything without checking with their partner first….unless they have a very unhealthy dynamic in which one partner decides and the other has to follow.
You say that you have no chance to check with your partner if they’re interested or to find out what their interests are or tell them your interests but surely you can just say something like ‘well I’m interested but I’ll have to check with my partner and maybe we can discuss our interests first to see if we have any in common’ which would allow you to check with your partner and discuss interests, that you claim to have no chance of doing.
You describe it like you’ve been forced apart from your partner and stopped from talking to each other and that it’s a take it now or lose it forever deal that’s being offered to you. On what planet do you think that anyone is going to expect you to agree to play as a couple without being allowed to discuss it with your partner first?
did you read my first post in this thread in which we were separated by a couple in a pincer movement?
Yeah but what was stopping you saying that you need to talk to your partner and asking them what their interests are? Were you both pinned in separate positions and unable to move anywhere? If someone did anything to stop me going over to my partner and tried to keep us separated then the last thing I’d be thinking about is having any sort of fun with them.
Yeah, the last thing we were thinking about was having fun with them . Separating people is a pretty dick move.
I'm not sure why you're questioning our experience though.
I’m not questioning your experience, did you read what I said?
Yeah, that happened to you but it doesn’t mean every experience of a couple approaching another couple is like that. Someone said they’d like it to happen to them and you replied saying that it’s awkward and you can’t ask your partner etc as if to say that if it does happen to them it’ll be exactly the same as how it happened to you. That’s what I’m questioning.
It’s like someone saying ‘has anyone been to London’ and I reply saying ‘I went to London and it rained all day’ then someone replies ‘I’d love to go to London’ and I reply saying ‘yeah but it rains all day there’.
I did read what you said, it includes the following
'Yeah but what was stopping you saying that you need to talk to your partner and asking them what their interests are? Were you both pinned in separate positions and unable to move anywhere?'
Which to my mind is directly questioning my experience.
I hope the couple I responded to choose to either ignore my response or take it as something to consider if they are ever lucky enough to be approached.
"
Well what was stopping you doing that? Were they literally holding you in position and stopping you from going over to your partner? If that was implied by you saying they used a pincer movement then I apologise as I may not fully understand what a pincer movement is, I thought it just meant they approached you separately and didn’t know it meant they kept you apart. |
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"No, but I wish they would !!
It's awkward though. You've got no chance to check with your partner if they're interested, you have no idea what the other couple are in to and they have no idea what you're in to either.
Why are you assuming that anyone who’s going to approach a couple will approach them separately rather than together? I don’t see why anyone would approach a couple separately with a view to having fun with them to be honest because it’s obvious that they’re not going to agree to doing anything without checking with their partner first….unless they have a very unhealthy dynamic in which one partner decides and the other has to follow.
You say that you have no chance to check with your partner if they’re interested or to find out what their interests are or tell them your interests but surely you can just say something like ‘well I’m interested but I’ll have to check with my partner and maybe we can discuss our interests first to see if we have any in common’ which would allow you to check with your partner and discuss interests, that you claim to have no chance of doing.
You describe it like you’ve been forced apart from your partner and stopped from talking to each other and that it’s a take it now or lose it forever deal that’s being offered to you. On what planet do you think that anyone is going to expect you to agree to play as a couple without being allowed to discuss it with your partner first?
did you read my first post in this thread in which we were separated by a couple in a pincer movement?
Yeah but what was stopping you saying that you need to talk to your partner and asking them what their interests are? Were you both pinned in separate positions and unable to move anywhere? If someone did anything to stop me going over to my partner and tried to keep us separated then the last thing I’d be thinking about is having any sort of fun with them.
Yeah, the last thing we were thinking about was having fun with them . Separating people is a pretty dick move.
I'm not sure why you're questioning our experience though.
I’m not questioning your experience, did you read what I said?
Yeah, that happened to you but it doesn’t mean every experience of a couple approaching another couple is like that. Someone said they’d like it to happen to them and you replied saying that it’s awkward and you can’t ask your partner etc as if to say that if it does happen to them it’ll be exactly the same as how it happened to you. That’s what I’m questioning.
It’s like someone saying ‘has anyone been to London’ and I reply saying ‘I went to London and it rained all day’ then someone replies ‘I’d love to go to London’ and I reply saying ‘yeah but it rains all day there’.
I did read what you said, it includes the following
'Yeah but what was stopping you saying that you need to talk to your partner and asking them what their interests are? Were you both pinned in separate positions and unable to move anywhere?'
Which to my mind is directly questioning my experience.
I hope the couple I responded to choose to either ignore my response or take it as something to consider if they are ever lucky enough to be approached.
Well what was stopping you doing that? Were they literally holding you in position and stopping you from going over to your partner? If that was implied by you saying they used a pincer movement then I apologise as I may not fully understand what a pincer movement is, I thought it just meant they approached you separately and didn’t know it meant they kept you apart. "
I really don't want to go into further detail. |
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By *ickD80Man 48 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"No, but I wish they would !!
It's awkward though. You've got no chance to check with your partner if they're interested, you have no idea what the other couple are in to and they have no idea what you're in to either.
Why are you assuming that anyone who’s going to approach a couple will approach them separately rather than together? I don’t see why anyone would approach a couple separately with a view to having fun with them to be honest because it’s obvious that they’re not going to agree to doing anything without checking with their partner first….unless they have a very unhealthy dynamic in which one partner decides and the other has to follow.
You say that you have no chance to check with your partner if they’re interested or to find out what their interests are or tell them your interests but surely you can just say something like ‘well I’m interested but I’ll have to check with my partner and maybe we can discuss our interests first to see if we have any in common’ which would allow you to check with your partner and discuss interests, that you claim to have no chance of doing.
You describe it like you’ve been forced apart from your partner and stopped from talking to each other and that it’s a take it now or lose it forever deal that’s being offered to you. On what planet do you think that anyone is going to expect you to agree to play as a couple without being allowed to discuss it with your partner first?
did you read my first post in this thread in which we were separated by a couple in a pincer movement?
Yeah but what was stopping you saying that you need to talk to your partner and asking them what their interests are? Were you both pinned in separate positions and unable to move anywhere? If someone did anything to stop me going over to my partner and tried to keep us separated then the last thing I’d be thinking about is having any sort of fun with them.
Yeah, the last thing we were thinking about was having fun with them . Separating people is a pretty dick move.
I'm not sure why you're questioning our experience though.
I’m not questioning your experience, did you read what I said?
Yeah, that happened to you but it doesn’t mean every experience of a couple approaching another couple is like that. Someone said they’d like it to happen to them and you replied saying that it’s awkward and you can’t ask your partner etc as if to say that if it does happen to them it’ll be exactly the same as how it happened to you. That’s what I’m questioning.
It’s like someone saying ‘has anyone been to London’ and I reply saying ‘I went to London and it rained all day’ then someone replies ‘I’d love to go to London’ and I reply saying ‘yeah but it rains all day there’.
I did read what you said, it includes the following
'Yeah but what was stopping you saying that you need to talk to your partner and asking them what their interests are? Were you both pinned in separate positions and unable to move anywhere?'
Which to my mind is directly questioning my experience.
I hope the couple I responded to choose to either ignore my response or take it as something to consider if they are ever lucky enough to be approached.
Well what was stopping you doing that? Were they literally holding you in position and stopping you from going over to your partner? If that was implied by you saying they used a pincer movement then I apologise as I may not fully understand what a pincer movement is, I thought it just meant they approached you separately and didn’t know it meant they kept you apart.
I really don't want to go into further detail. "
I have lots of questions but I respect your wish to not go into further detail so I won’t ask any of them. |
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Yes, we've had a few couples separate us off and then ask. It's always a no from both of us. We don't play separately and don't wish to be separated to be asked if we're interested. It's a weird move honestly. Instant ick from us.
We've also been approached by single guys whilst out, usually I've had a few drinks so it's also always a no. |
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"Yes, we've had a few couples separate us off and then ask. It's always a no from both of us. We don't play separately and don't wish to be separated to be asked if we're interested. It's a weird move honestly. Instant ick from us.
We've also been approached by single guys whilst out, usually I've had a few drinks so it's also always a no. "
Can't understand why they would want to separate you, you are both gorgeous and we would want to experience everything |
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Sort of, not quite, in a manner of speaking.
We were approached at a work party by a colleague who told us she was interested in getting her new husband into swinging. So we got them into swinging |
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