In September this year I (Lion) was diagnosed with cancer. Anyway, I’ve had the op and thankfully didn’t need chemo etc. However, I’ve got a massive scar right down my front. It’s completely knocked my confidence and I’m struggling finding my mojo.
Those that have been through similar, how have you coped and what did you do to get out of the rut, so to speak x |
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I can't speak from experience however it's what makes you and love that fact. You have got through it, it's the bits that all put you together like c section scars dad bods and wobbly bits. They're all the things that makes us unique, we're all not Hollywood swingers x |
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By *bhbCouple 38 weeks ago
nottingham |
"In September this year I (Lion) was diagnosed with cancer. Anyway, I’ve had the op and thankfully didn’t need chemo etc. However, I’ve got a massive scar right down my front. It’s completely knocked my confidence and I’m struggling finding my mojo.
Those that have been through similar, how have you coped and what did you do to get out of the rut, so to speak x"
Firstly glad you are well.
Totally understandable that you are feeling anxious about it, however. They are marks of our
Life experiences and wouldn’t put us off. Just shows we are all human.
All the best
X |
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By *aizyWoman 38 weeks ago
west midlands |
"In September this year I (Lion) was diagnosed with cancer. Anyway, I’ve had the op and thankfully didn’t need chemo etc. However, I’ve got a massive scar right down my front. It’s completely knocked my confidence and I’m struggling finding my mojo.
Those that have been through similar, how have you coped and what did you do to get out of the rut, so to speak x"
Sorry to read this OP, I had cancer last year and like you I was lucky I didn't need chemo, but I now have a scar down my side and under my breast. Tbh it took me a while to get used to it but I have now, I just accept it is a part of me. I will say though I started using bio oil about 3 or 4 months ago and it has helped the apperance of my scar it has faded it somewhat if that makes sense? |
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"In September this year I (Lion) was diagnosed with cancer. Anyway, I’ve had the op and thankfully didn’t need chemo etc. However, I’ve got a massive scar right down my front. It’s completely knocked my confidence and I’m struggling finding my mojo.
Those that have been through similar, how have you coped and what did you do to get out of the rut, so to speak x"
Very happy you’re now well.
I have a huge space underneath my left breast due to a lumpectomy after being diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006, it’s a sign I got though it and is part of me. Be proud of your scar. |
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My scars and I have a few, bring me back to incidents in my life that made me who I am.
I quite like myself and wouldn’t really be any different to who I am, so they’re like tree rings, attesting to why I am who I am. Love them, love yourself  |
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I (Disco Balls) have had cancer with surgery and then radiotherapy. I've been left with scars and tattoo dots (to align me for the radiotherapy). See your scars, as the battle scars of a warrior - you won brother!! |
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so glad you came through it ok
I have a scar from hysterectomy across the belly
and I have a scar across my left butt cheek from falling off a motorbike and hitting a kerb.
Nobody has mentioned it being a problem as of yet.
Scars would not put us off x |
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Sasha has a long scar on her hip from an operation years ago. It's never bothered her or held her back. But she is thinking of covering it with a zip tattoo. I have seen many tattoos covered with various tattoos, some funny, some just camouflage.
Maybe something you might consider. |
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Hey Lion, I too had cancer and a op to remove it which left a sizable scar.
Moisturizer has helped considerably but I’m still left with a section which is still visible.
I see it as a medal of getting past it!
Some people ask but most ignore it.
Don’t let I get the better of you, after all you’ve been through the hard bit!
G |
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I still have a nice 6 inch scar on my lower abdoman from a cancer op, no one really bothers with them.
Mention it to the person you are meeting, if they are put off by it, did you really want to bother with that type of person. |
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"In September this year I (Lion) was diagnosed with cancer. Anyway, I’ve had the op and thankfully didn’t need chemo etc. However, I’ve got a massive scar right down my front. It’s completely knocked my confidence and I’m struggling finding my mojo.
Those that have been through similar, how have you coped and what did you do to get out of the rut, so to speak x"
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"In September this year I (Lion) was diagnosed with cancer. Anyway, I’ve had the op and thankfully didn’t need chemo etc. However, I’ve got a massive scar right down my front. It’s completely knocked my confidence and I’m struggling finding my mojo.
Those that have been through similar, how have you coped and what did you do to get out of the rut, so to speak x"
I have a right tibia and tibia (right shin ) ,that looks deformed due to a car crash 30 years ago that left me with an open compound fracture . The bones eventually healed ,but even with pins and a rod in my shin ,they grew back in a strange shape . I just seeit as a war scar from my past . My advice is be proud of your scars , they are part of you. |
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Nice people shouldn't be put off by a surgical scar (we also have some). We agree with bio oil, it helps a little to fade scars. If someone is put off by a scar they're not the the type we would want to meet. |
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By *avensCouple 37 weeks ago
Stroud |
Brave post. We are in a similar position; Mrs R has had a craniotomy recently for a (thankfully) benign brain tumour. This is actually her second, so her head is indented at the temple (first surgery) and now she has a scar running the length of her right eyebrow. She too is struggling with confidence, and feels a bit invaded.
You’re not alone- it’s clearly a common thing. What I can say is that not long after her first op she bounced back to herself and her sex drive very much returned- I’m sure the same will happen again, and if Friday night is anything to go by, we’re getting there. We’ve given ourselves until Easter before we meet again (we’ve got one in the diary….) but if that needs pushing back, then we will. There’s no deadline or obligation.
Wishing you all the very best. Mr R xx |
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Hello Lion, amd thank you for your brave forum post. I also had cancer surgery last year.
Looking past the physical, please remember that you have been through a huge emotional trauma. Your surgery was only just 4 months ago, so please just be kind to yourself and give yourself time to heal emotionally too.
Top tip for scarring - I had a benign tumour removed from my hand about 5 years ago. The reconstructive surgeon who did this told me that your run of the mill, cheap as chips Nivea in a pot is the absolute best stuff for scars. It has certainly worked well for me on the scars on my hand and abdomen.
Wishing you all the best moving forward with your recovery. |
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By (user no longer on site) 37 weeks ago
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Scars are pretty cool and tells a story behind the person who has them and wouldn’t put me off of them. We all have scars in some form from physical or mental and people shouldn’t be afraid of showing them off just be proud of them |
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I dont get involved in the forums but this one I can definitely relate to. We both came into this lifestyle with big scars mine the Mr is on my back with various other little scars around my body from having cancer.
We have never had a problem with our scars and have found that most people are polite enough not to mention them but some people will ask and thats up to you how you answer them.
I've always said scars are story's. I hope this helps |
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Thank you to everyone. I’m working out as each day goes by, after each conversation, after each time I catch a look of myself in the mirror, that not all my scars are physical.
The mental scars are ones I’ve ignore until recently (probably the reason for this post if I’m truly honest with myself).
I need to remember that I’ve got time to get into shape (physically and mentally).
Honestly thank you xxx |
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"In September this year I (Lion) was diagnosed with cancer. Anyway, I’ve had the op and thankfully didn’t need chemo etc. However, I’ve got a massive scar right down my front. It’s completely knocked my confidence and I’m struggling finding my mojo.
Those that have been through similar, how have you coped and what did you do to get out of the rut, so to speak x"
Lots of people have got scars from accidents, fights, and funny anecdotes. Lots of people make a big deal out of how cool, hard or generally tough those scars make them.
You had cancer and kicked it into touch. There's not much more tough and impressive than that.
I had my thyroid removed last year and they thought they needed to open me up to get it all out. I thought I was getting a 'zipper'. Nothing to be done, it was going to go whichever way it wanted to and there's nothing to be done about it.
It's not a reflection on your masculinity, not should it be a detriment to your confidence. Maybe in time you'll use it as a reminder of how lucky you are and to make the most of every day.
Good luck OP, well done on kicking big C into touch. That's pretty awesome
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Glad your the other side OP, I had an operation on skin cancer on my head last November resulting in a 6" scar and bald patch which is slowly healing, so hard to get my confidence back but getting there, chin up, be proud and crack on bro. |
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"In September this year I (Lion) was diagnosed with cancer. Anyway, I’ve had the op and thankfully didn’t need chemo etc. However, I’ve got a massive scar right down my front. It’s completely knocked my confidence and I’m struggling finding my mojo.
Those that have been through similar, how have you coped and what did you do to get out of the rut, so to speak x"
don't have experience of scars through lifesaving treatment, but I am covered in them after losing 10st and having lots of excess skin removed. They're on my tummy, midriff, under my arms, around the top of my backside, also inner & outer thighs. I am a little embarrassed that I allowed my body to get into such a mess in the first place, but I honestly don't care about the scars & thankfully, they don't bother anyone who's seen me naked either. I can comfortably go to the naturist spa in my area (BGHS) and it doesn't bother me if anyone asks about them.
I hope that you will begin to see your scar as a triumph over adversity, because you fought a battle and won. I'm 1000% sure that your scar isn't going to bother anyone other than yourself & don't forget, it will fade & be less obvious over time.
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The first time I met one of my regular partners he undressed and sat on the bed with his hands covering his abdomen.
He looked at me with a worried expression and said I've got a lot of deep scarring on my stomach.
I laid him back and kissed all of them.
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"In September this year I (Lion) was diagnosed with cancer. Anyway, I’ve had the op and thankfully didn’t need chemo etc. However, I’ve got a massive scar right down my front. It’s completely knocked my confidence and I’m struggling finding my mojo.
Those that have been through similar, how have you coped and what did you do to get out of the rut, so to speak x"
Same boat.
My scars (full length abdomen and ileostomy scars) were a bit of a bummer at first. Used diprobase cream to moisturise them, still do.
Now i go to nudist beaches and say fuck it!
Talk to everyone, compare scars and stories. Lots of us have them. They're a mark of your and everyone else's stickability.
Good on you for getting through it.
I've sat in bars and compared scars in public and stories with lots of women and men. It removes any barriers.
We're all human, don't worry about it. Keep them moist and they fade.
And get yet kit off!!  |
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I have what I call a half zipper and a bit of a hole in my side from stomach surgery and where I had a stoma… it might put some off but then some it hasn't..
But it can be a bit of a talking point but in a good way ?? |
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"In September this year I (Lion) was diagnosed with cancer. Anyway, I’ve had the op and thankfully didn’t need chemo etc. However, I’ve got a massive scar right down my front. It’s completely knocked my confidence and I’m struggling finding my mojo.
Those that have been through similar, how have you coped and what did you do to get out of the rut, so to speak x
Same boat.
My scars (full length abdomen and ileostomy scars) were a bit of a bummer at first. Used diprobase cream to moisturise them, still do.
Now i go to nudist beaches and say fuck it!
Talk to everyone, compare scars and stories. Lots of us have them. They're a mark of your and everyone else's stickability.
Good on you for getting through it.
I've sat in bars and compared scars in public and stories with lots of women and men. It removes any barriers.
We're all human, don't worry about it. Keep them moist and they fade.
And get yet kit off!! "
Oh, and put some removable tattoos on them for a laugh |
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By *AYENCouple 19 weeks ago
Lincolnshire |
"In September this year I (Lion) was diagnosed with cancer. Anyway, I’ve had the op and thankfully didn’t need chemo etc. However, I’ve got a massive scar right down my front. It’s completely knocked my confidence and I’m struggling finding my mojo.
Those that have been through similar, how have you coped and what did you do to get out of the rut, so to speak x"
I've got the same scar from (probably) the same operation three years ago, I also had chemo.
Your partner and the people you interact with do so because of you, not your perfect body. I doubt anyone will have a problem with it, so you'll just have to sort yourself out and get over it.
Sorry if that's not very helpful but you shouldn't let it change you or your life. K. |
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So sorry to hear,
I had big area of thigh and 13 lymph nodes removed 3 years ago. Was also very conscious of the scars.
I plucked up courage and possed for a small life drawing group. This helped but still conscious. |
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The Japanese have a beautiful tradition called Kintsugi. It is the repair of broken ceramics using gold, and can take months even years to lovingly repair a vase or bowl. Once repaired it is considered more beautiful, both because it is unique but also because someone devoted the time and skill to repair it making it valuable.
Your scars are your Kintsugi. |
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