FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Tinder date. When do you tell
Tinder date. When do you tell
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I have a tinder date.
I don’t want to give this lifestyle up. At what point do I be honest and tell him.
"
Put it on your profile so everyone knows up front. If you don’t want to be direct then maybe hint at it in some way. |
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"So I have a tinder date.
I don’t want to give this lifestyle up. At what point do I be honest and tell him.
Put it on your profile so everyone knows up front. If you don’t want to be direct then maybe hint at it in some way."
The way but then I will get loads of messages from guys looking for hook ups or thinking I’m easy. |
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By *hloe_TTV/TS
over a year ago
Nottingham |
Yeah definitely not on the first date. Id say a couple of months. If you dont want to be exclusive yet, just say that. If you want him involved then i guess just when you feel like its the right time. |
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Be comfortably into the first date, drinks on, relaxed and then ask if he’d be interested in a threesome… with another guy…. in sex club…. with complete strangers watching…
If he’s grinning like an idiot afterwards then you know..
I got introduced to Fab by a Tinder date so the possibility of finding a naughty soul mate isn’t outside the realms of possibility… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah definitely not on the first date. Id say a couple of months. If you dont want to be exclusive yet, just say that. If you want him involved then i guess just when you feel like its the right time. "
A few months? That’s way too far down the line to be playing with someone’s emotions |
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"What until he asks “What are you doing on the weekend?” and you can drop the hint by telling him you are doing a bunch of guys in a gangbang. If his eyes light up then you know you have a keeper."
I had a colleague ask me once what I did the weekend so I just flippantly answered I had a gangbang (it was true) they laughed and said no really what did you do. At which point I said what’s the point in answering you don’t believe me. I still laugh now at it and they have never asked me what I did on the weekend since! |
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"So I have a tinder date.
I don’t want to give this lifestyle up. At what point do I be honest and tell him.
"
Some point in an around the pillow talk after your first time having sex perhaps? Like in a light way ... Especially if the sex was good.
Could be like "oh wow babe you'd do great on this site I'm on" haha   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wouldn't that be part of the conversation:
'what are you hoping for'
'I'm not looking for a monogamous relationship'
'oh my hobbies, i like swinging, have you heard of fab?' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I have a tinder date.
I don’t want to give this lifestyle up. At what point do I be honest and tell him.
"
I'm not sure there's a requirement unless you feel guilt. If you do, I'd wait until you are absolutely sure what his lifestyle is, lifestyle widely defined. Men are very good at hiding the reality. |
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If I was dating someone and I thought there was a possibility it might be long term I'd feel a bit miffed and misled if suddenly a non negotiable such as swinging was sprung on me.
God forbid I ever have to date again but if I did I'd mention anything that was an absolute requirement pretty quickly.
My list includes must like going on holiday and a warm house.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't be telling 'all' on a first date....defo not....
Maybe he's here too....who knows....
Approach the subject lightly when you've met him a few times....Just put your 'feelers' out....& I'm sure you'll get signs from his reaction when you mention swinging....You could say something like "did you ever hear of fabswingers".... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Actually, is it a "date" or casual sex that's planned? Never used it but I had the impression that Tinder is a casual sex app whereas Match is dating and serious relationships. |
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Totally get this dilemma as i dont want to date vanilla. When i say at the beginning it puts people off as they have all turned out to be vanilla. Leaving it too long feels like a waste of time too. This is why fab needs a dating section.
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Well I'm looking fir the same at the moment op but i have had 3 first dates woth 3 people and as soon as I mentioned it we haven’t spoke again so wasted time with the dates and speaking beforehand.
So now its on my profile and i speak about it openly works alot better and doesn’t waste time . |
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"So I have a tinder date.
I don’t want to give this lifestyle up. At what point do I be honest and tell him.
"
Dee has a couple of accounts that she dips into now and again, just be honest with the guy that you are into the lifestyle and you want it to stay that way, most guys are looking for similar things on dating sites so just be yourself and true to your needs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a great thread! I met Mrs B on Tinder, on the very first date I told her that I was “open minded” - I said right, let me tell you something that is probably going to scare you off - I told her a little story about how I went to a swingers club last month and it’s something I want to explore more of.. it lead to lots and lots of questions, no judging, lots of curiosity and after one month of dating we went together and the rest is history! |
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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
Sooner the better really otherwise they might feel a certain way when realise they taking you out on dates & you going back home to fuck a random dude or chick of a sex site lol   just saying! |
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If it's non-negotiable, it needs to be said up front. Either in your bio (looking for a partner who's happy to not be monogamous with me) or in the first date.
You don't need to tell them you're a swinger, specifically. Call yourself poly. Just that they can't go into this expecting to be monogamous. It's pretty harsh, letting them build up hope that you could be The One, only to be blindsided on the third date.  |
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"This is a great thread! I met Mrs B on Tinder, on the very first date I told her that I was “open minded” - I said right, let me tell you something that is probably going to scare you off - I told her a little story about how I went to a swingers club last month and it’s something I want to explore more of.. it lead to lots and lots of questions, no judging, lots of curiosity and after one month of dating we went together and the rest is history! "
You lucky man, the absolute dream . It scares them off when i mention it. |
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By *jbucksCouple 52 weeks ago
Bletchley |
Just be honest on the date. They might be keen to join you on this lifestyle journey. If they don't then it adds the question was they right for you in the first place if this is a part of you. |
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Was going to say there is no need to tell anyone on a 1st date. If things were to progress then it would be time to have the conversation.
Sorry to hear he stopped talking but onwards and upwards OP x |
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By *jonesMan 50 weeks ago
Plymouth |
For most of my tinder / bumble dates ...and my profile has a few clues .. like "not sure what I'm looking for " under relationship type etc,if on meeting them we are getting on I very gently bring up things like ...being quite sexually adventurous after getting separated.., would love to go clubbing in Berlin etc and see how the conversation goes ...if it sounds promising I would carry on for a few more dates and expand the discussion and hopefully get a positive response. I would, and have, happily can my activities on here whilst trying to develop a regular date. And see where it goes.
It's a bit of a tight rope walk ...and I wish more people would use feeld .. it's so refreshing ...
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We met on tinder. It was a pre requisite on the initial chatting stage that swinging was on the agenda and we wouldn't be compatible if it wasn't what the other person wanted. Its been a great journey ever since we met  |
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By *jonesMan 50 weeks ago
Plymouth |
"We met on tinder. It was a pre requisite on the initial chatting stage that swinging was on the agenda and we wouldn't be compatible if it wasn't what the other person wanted. Its been a great journey ever since we met "
That's pretty amazing to hear ...most woman would run a mile if I suggested that early on I think ...  |
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We met on tinder (during lockdown) so there were a lot phonecalls between us before we actually met in person, we were both open and honest from the offset about our sexualities and what other sites/apps we had profiles on, luckily for us we are both filthy fuckers and we're on the same platforms
Mr H |
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I know a lady that went to The Harvester one Sunday lunchtime on a first date. They didn’t stay for the carvery after he told her “I know a club that opens on a Sunday afternoon”.
They both went straight to Adam an Eves for the afternoon session. |
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"So I have a tinder date.
I don’t want to give this lifestyle up. At what point do I be honest and tell him.
"
Tell him straight away. Best being honest!! Coming from a bloke looking to get a shag behind his wife’s back |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"So I have a tinder date.
I don’t want to give this lifestyle up. At what point do I be honest and tell him.
"
Don’t not until you think it might be going somewhere. Then just test the water when you feel comfortable talking about it to them. |
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