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Experienced Women: Would you tell a non-swinging partner the actual number of men you've been with?
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I personally find a woman with a lot of sexual experience a turn on and as long as they're willing to have sex with me I don't really give a monkeys as long as its all been consensual. However a lot of men seem to be obsessed with a woman's 'body count' and say they wouldn't be with a woman who's had a lot of partners.
Obviously a lot of women on here have quite a high body count, which as I say in my view is great, but if you were dating a non swinging guy you really liked and he asked you would you tell him your actual number and face potentially being rejected or lie? |
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No, I wouldn't as its my past. And some blokes would say call us names if we've had sex with lots of guys.
Turn the question around and a lot of blokes would tell you how many they have been with and they wouldn't be called names.
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Can’t remember now.
But deffo wouldn’t care what theirs was and if mine bothers them then they aren’t the one for me.
However as I’m not likely so have relationship again probably doesn’t matter!
My count is high as the last few years have all been group/gangbang scenarios.
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"It's weird how often men ask this actually. What difference does it make?
MrsAbz "
Ye its odd. Swear the younger generation is even more obsessed with it as well. The amount of youtube clips I see of guys asking random strangers or it being discussed on podcasts. And if a woman says anything above 10 all the comments are like 'shes ruined'or 'shes for the streets'. Its like what happened to just getting with people youre attracted to and not caring about their past. Unless they're an actual murderer or nonce or something |
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Yeah it is an issue when you’re dating, how much do you share. I wanna be honest but I also don’t wanna scare him. And like others have said, I don’t know how many men I’ve slept with - once you’ve lost count the figure never comes back |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say is actually none of their business who or how many people I’ve slept with before meeting them  "
I honestly wouldn't care I'd just be happy I'm getting a turn lol  |
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"What if the tables were turned around, OP, and you met a non-swinging woman. Would you tell her? Though I guess even in 21st century it is still different for men and women. "
Tbf my body count is a lot lower than I like due to me not being much of a looker and having shit social skills. And like I say if anything I prefer a woman whos got a lot of experience and really don't get guys who demand girls are virgins or have only been with 1 or 2 guys. |
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Like I say I dont care and if anything find a higher body count and experience sexier. I'd less insecure about dating a woman thats slept with 50+ guys than a woman whos only slept with 1 long term boyfriend because it's more like shes still got a strong emotional bond with them |
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If I was dating someone who asked me how many men I'd had sex with I'd probably start thinking about whether I wanted to carry on dating him. If he referred to it as a 'body count' I'd definitely stop dating him.
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"If I was dating someone who asked me how many men I'd had sex with I'd probably start thinking about whether I wanted to carry on dating him. If he referred to it as a 'body count' I'd definitely stop dating him.
"
You'd hate mainstream modern day dating culture then. So many videos and articles discussing 'body counts' etc |
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"If I was dating someone who asked me how many men I'd had sex with I'd probably start thinking about whether I wanted to carry on dating him. If he referred to it as a 'body count' I'd definitely stop dating him.
You'd hate mainstream modern day dating culture then. So many videos and articles discussing 'body counts' etc"
I probably would but no mainstream, modern person would be likely to date me  .
I know it's the current way of referring to previous lovers but it feels very dehumanising and dismissive of people to me.
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"If I was dating someone who asked me how many men I'd had sex with I'd probably start thinking about whether I wanted to carry on dating him. If he referred to it as a 'body count' I'd definitely stop dating him.
You'd hate mainstream modern day dating culture then. So many videos and articles discussing 'body counts' etc
I probably would but no mainstream, modern person would be likely to date me .
I know it's the current way of referring to previous lovers but it feels very dehumanising and dismissive of people to me.
"
I agree. Sounds more like asking a soldier how many people they've killed.
Id much rather have a fun relationship like you and your partner seem to have |
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"If I was dating someone who asked me how many men I'd had sex with I'd probably start thinking about whether I wanted to carry on dating him. If he referred to it as a 'body count' I'd definitely stop dating him.
You'd hate mainstream modern day dating culture then. So many videos and articles discussing 'body counts' etc
I probably would but no mainstream, modern person would be likely to date me .
I know it's the current way of referring to previous lovers but it feels very dehumanising and dismissive of people to me.
I agree. Sounds more like asking a soldier how many people they've killed.
Id much rather have a fun relationship like you and your partner seem to have"
It does sound like that...maybe it's deliberate.
My partner and I don't know how many previous lovers we've each had but we do know it's a lot . |
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"If I was dating someone who asked me how many men I'd had sex with I'd probably start thinking about whether I wanted to carry on dating him. If he referred to it as a 'body count' I'd definitely stop dating him.
You'd hate mainstream modern day dating culture then. So many videos and articles discussing 'body counts' etc
I probably would but no mainstream, modern person would be likely to date me .
I know it's the current way of referring to previous lovers but it feels very dehumanising and dismissive of people to me.
I agree. Sounds more like asking a soldier how many people they've killed.
Id much rather have a fun relationship like you and your partner seem to have
It does sound like that...maybe it's deliberate.
My partner and I don't know how many previous lovers we've each had but we do know it's a lot . "
Not gonna lie, I find that hot |
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In a new relationship does it matter how many men/women you've slept with? But OP if you meet someone would you tell them you'd been a member of a swinging site; surely that would be just as pertinent. |
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"If I was dating someone who asked me how many men I'd had sex with I'd probably start thinking about whether I wanted to carry on dating him. If he referred to it as a 'body count' I'd definitely stop dating him.
You'd hate mainstream modern day dating culture then. So many videos and articles discussing 'body counts' etc"
Is that really “mainstream dating culture”; or just a bunch of sad incels on Twitter making a lot of noise? |
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"If I was dating someone who asked me how many men I'd had sex with I'd probably start thinking about whether I wanted to carry on dating him. If he referred to it as a 'body count' I'd definitely stop dating him.
You'd hate mainstream modern day dating culture then. So many videos and articles discussing 'body counts' etc
Is that really “mainstream dating culture”; or just a bunch of sad incels on Twitter making a lot of noise?"
I've seen the term used on here by men and women. |
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The notion that fucking different 100 different cocks somehow 'ruins' a woman compared to fucking the same cock 100 times is just stupidity.
I don't know a number to tell someone so I wouldn't tell them and would be judging them for asking and if they pushed the subject the date would end. |
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I have experience of this, I was asked my number, then had it constantly used against me.
So if I was ever in that situation again, absolutely no way would I give my number! And if that became an issue a swift 'go fuck yourself would be issued'! |
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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
I honestly don't get why just people in general are still bothered with this ‘body count’ (both men & women). I was asked on 2 previous vanilla dates & ofcourse I lied  haha.
1)Like what you gonna do then with this data?
2)if you really liked this person do you really wanna know how many people they really been with?
3) you gonna ask what position you fucked in aswell?
Hahaha  |
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"I honestly don't get why just people in general are still bothered with this ‘body count’ (both men & women). I was asked on 2 previous vanilla dates & ofcourse I lied haha.
1)Like what you gonna do then with this data?
2)if you really liked this person do you really wanna know how many people they really been with?
3) you gonna ask what position you fucked in aswell?
Hahaha "
Yeh is strange. Like you say you can just lie. You could say Im a virgin or Ive slept with a million people. Theres no way it could be proved either way (although shagging a million people would get you some sort of notiriety I imagine) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can’t imagine myself ever in a relationship with someone who isn’t part of this lifestyle.
Also couldn’t imagine at this stage of my life ever being with someone who’d even think of asking that question.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just be honest. They may embrace it and want to share the life style with you. If they don't, ask yourself what you really want and if your a true match! |
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