What do you say if you want to start a conversation with someone you're interested in whilst you're in a club? I'm not very confident in social situations, so I just wondered what other people say to open with. Also how/when do you ask if they're interested in playing? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hello, I'm ... Nice to meet you. How are you?
If approaching a couple, chat to them both, if approaching a group, engage with them all.
If it's your first time at a club, tell them. "
It's not my first time, I'm just terrified after last time - I was really stressed out and still recovering from it mentally days afterwards last time. But what you said is pretty much a "hello", what do you say after that? I have no idea how to even consider approaching a group, I just feel like I can't get a word in anyway in groups. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm not very confident in social situations, so I just wondered what other people say to open with. "
Try pretending you are confident - it sounds like daft advice but it does actually work sometimes. Expect to get rejected at least once on every club visit - if you're expecting it, then it's not as bad. And smile!
The exact words don't matter as much. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Try pretending you are confident - it sounds like daft advice but it does actually work sometimes. Expect to get rejected at least once on every club visit - if you're expecting it, then it's not as bad. And smile!
The exact words don't matter as much."
How do you even pretend that you are confident? And how do you even know if someone is interested anyway? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"How do you even pretend that you are confident? And how do you even know if someone is interested anyway?"
A confident person won't worry what to say, a confident person won't worry whether the other person is interested, a confident person won't worry if this is the only chance they'll get this evening. They'll just go and have fun.
Practice on the other single guys first. Guys who talk to other guys get more luck! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A confident person won't worry what to say, a confident person won't worry whether the other person is interested, a confident person won't worry if this is the only chance they'll get this evening. They'll just go and have fun.
Practice on the other single guys first. Guys who talk to other guys get more luck!"
That has left me just as clueless as before tbh |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site) 52 weeks ago
|
Hi my name is Michelle, its really nice to meet you. I noticed you and though I would introduce myself then let them respond. You'll know quite quickly of they're intersted or not.
I actually hate it if someone just comes up to me and asks me if I'm playing I find it really rude ha. Could at least talk to me for a minute. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hi my name is Michelle, its really nice to meet you. I noticed you and though I would introduce myself then let them respond. You'll know quite quickly of they're intersted or not.
I actually hate it if someone just comes up to me and asks me if I'm playing I find it really rude ha. Could at least talk to me for a minute. "
How do you know if they're interested or not? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A confident person won't worry what to say, a confident person won't worry whether the other person is interested, a confident person won't worry if this is the only chance they'll get this evening. They'll just go and have fun.
Practice on the other single guys first. Guys who talk to other guys get more luck!
That has left me just as clueless as before tbh"
Maybe you need a new hobby. Swinging isn't for everyone and if you don't know how to start a conversation with someone how will you ever progress to getting jiggy with them? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It all needs to start with "Hello/hi". Maybe try complimenting their outfit? Ask "Do you come here often?", "is it ok to chat?" and similar. Maybe mention something you like about the club and ask what feature they like, or if they've been to other clubs. If they only give you short answers, it usually means they're not interested - move on then.
Keep the conversation short and avoid controversial topics, just small talk.
When to ask if they'd like to play? Definitely not as the very first question before even "hello", when they're eating (did happen to me) or when they are in the middle of play as they, most likely, can't hear you then.
Hot tub is a good place to start a conversation - with your mouth/voice, not your hands or feet. I hate it when someone who has not even spoken a word to me tries to get my attention by touching me.
One more idea is get yourself a "prop". Something that would make people come to you, start talking to you instead of you having to make the first step. It works for my partner - usually it's our spikey gloves, but also his outfits (he makes an effort).
Good luck, OP. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe you need a new hobby. Swinging isn't for everyone and if you don't know how to start a conversation with someone how will you ever progress to getting jiggy with them? "
I already have too many hobbies. I've been to a club three times and I've been with at least two people every time - but they've all either approached me or someone else set me up with them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
