A friend of mine has slept with a lot more people than I have (5 times as many). In a strange way, this turns me on and I have recently found myself thinking about her getting off with other men when we have sex.
Is this a common thought and, if so, do you think it is healthy?
Thanks |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A friend of mine has slept with a lot more people than I have (5 times as many). In a strange way, this turns me on and I have recently found myself thinking about her getting off with other men when we have sex.
Is this a common thought and, if so, do you think it is healthy?
Thanks "
Is the thought causing you upset or pleasure? If it's pleasure then it's healthy.
Can't say if it's a common thing but we've met a lot of people who enjoy seeing their partners enjoying sex with someone else, it's part of the reason we're here for instance.
You've obviously discussed numbers of partners for you to be so specific in your comparison of how many each of you've had but just because your friend had had more partners than you won't mean she or he will be interested in more than one at the same time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Thanks nicecouple. It is both a turn on to think of her with others but also a little distressing once we have finished. She is stunning and to think of her being 'used' by other men (some of whom weren't particularly pleasant) can hurt. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thanks nicecouple. It is both a turn on to think of her with others but also a little distressing once we have finished. She is stunning and to think of her being 'used' by other men (some of whom weren't particularly pleasant) can hurt. "
was she unwilling then? Your use of the term "used" implies that.
Thinking of your friend in these terms is possibly not as healthy as it could be.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
She was willing however it was very much an attention seeking thing following a few very unstable initial relationships. She has a very high sex drive however I find it difficult not to think of all the men she has been with.
Definitely something I need to stop. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"She was willing however it was very much an attention seeking thing following a few very unstable initial relationships. She has a very high sex drive however I find it difficult not to think of all the men she has been with.
Definitely something I need to stop. "
It is and you need to concentrate on the present with your friend not her past. The number of men she has had sex with is of no consequence, sex is not the same as commitment or love don't confuse them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If you are a couple and in love, then as previously said, it shouldn't matter about the past because that's where it is, in history, we all have that. If your hearts are with each other, then all the physical stuff we get upto as swingers is just physical lustful pleasure.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Nicecouple, thank you. We swing together occasionally but also swing separately. We keep our swinging activities separate from our commitment to each other.
Complicated, yes but we make it work as we both enjoy the physical pleasure derived from here. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Nicecouple, thank you. We swing together occasionally but also swing separately. We keep our swinging activities separate from our commitment to each other.
Complicated, yes but we make it work as we both enjoy the physical pleasure derived from here. "
Well I think that if you're happy and she's happy then it's fine! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lthomasMan
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
I have the same thoughts / fantasies about my ex-wife with other men when we were together. It really turned Mel & was really what got me into swinging.
You need to have a line between love and sex.
Love is what you & your partner have, sex is the swinging side. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have the same thoughts / fantasies about my ex-wife with other men when we were together. It really turned Mel & was really what got me into swinging.
You need to have a line between love and sex.
Love is what you & your partner have, sex is the swinging side."
Yep! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lthomasMan
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
I still see the ex, have a few drinks and end up in bed. After drinking she's open to suggestion and knows how much it turns me on to think about her with other men, I actually think it turns her on too as we always end have really good sex when she tells me about it. She'll never swing but we both enjoy what see talks about. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
