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Dare I say it … Dating question
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Please can you help a girl out …
I met someone from fab for a social coffee recently, we got on really well invited back for a cuppa. Spent a few hours together, he asked if he could take me on a date and didn’t want to be naughty. I’ve seen him 4 times and only naughty once. He says he wants more but only ever messages sexually, never asked me any personal questions etc but continues to add meet requests and naked pics
I’m confused and I know I shouldn’t be as this is fab … thoughts welcome x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be bold and question his intentions.
You rather know where you stand right now then the awful not knowing and the drama / false hope of it later.
Simple
It's clearly bothering you already, otherwise you wouldn't be asking this question.
It's either FAB or more, or you work something out your both happy with.
Just my thoughts
Good luck! |
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I can see why you're confused, these sound like very mixed messages. It sounds to me like he wants to treat you with a lot of respect, perhaps put you on a pedestal ... but also wants you to know he finds you sexually attractive. What are you wanting from him, and what sort of vibes do you think you give out? He may be reacting to signals he is picking up from you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please can you help a girl out …
I met someone from fab for a social coffee recently, we got on really well invited back for a cuppa. Spent a few hours together, he asked if he could take me on a date and didn’t want to be naughty. I’ve seen him 4 times and only naughty once. He says he wants more but only ever messages sexually, never asked me any personal questions etc but continues to add meet requests and naked pics
I’m confused and I know I shouldn’t be as this is fab … thoughts welcome x"
Sounds a bit weird. I'd think he may want you to be exclusive to him while he still has the option to fuck around.
Don't let the fact you met on here be confusing. Think about how you'd approach this if you'd met him on a dating site.
The lack of personal questions means he's not bothered about you as a person. Some men claim to want to be friends/ FWB but actually just want a dial-a-fuck/ FB.
Personally I'd walk away. He's playing games with you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please can you help a girl out …
I met someone from fab for a social coffee recently, we got on really well invited back for a cuppa. Spent a few hours together, he asked if he could take me on a date and didn’t want to be naughty. I’ve seen him 4 times and only naughty once. He says he wants more but only ever messages sexually, never asked me any personal questions etc but continues to add meet requests and naked pics
I’m confused and I know I shouldn’t be as this is fab … thoughts welcome x
Sounds a bit weird. I'd think he may want you to be exclusive to him while he still has the option to fuck around.
Don't let the fact you met on here be confusing. Think about how you'd approach this if you'd met him on a dating site.
The lack of personal questions means he's not bothered about you as a person. Some men claim to want to be friends/ FWB but actually just want a dial-a-fuck/ FB.
Personally I'd walk away. He's playing games with you. "
+ 1  |
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"Please can you help a girl out …
I met someone from fab for a social coffee recently, we got on really well invited back for a cuppa. Spent a few hours together, he asked if he could take me on a date and didn’t want to be naughty. I’ve seen him 4 times and only naughty once. He says he wants more but only ever messages sexually, never asked me any personal questions etc but continues to add meet requests and naked pics
I’m confused and I know I shouldn’t be as this is fab … thoughts welcome x
Sounds a bit weird. I'd think he may want you to be exclusive to him while he still has the option to fuck around.
Don't let the fact you met on here be confusing. Think about how you'd approach this if you'd met him on a dating site.
The lack of personal questions means he's not bothered about you as a person. Some men claim to want to be friends/ FWB but actually just want a dial-a-fuck/ FB.
Personally I'd walk away. He's playing games with you. "
Agree with this
I'd back away if I were you.
He's still meeting others or trying to regularly, whilst doing bare minimum to keep you interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please can you help a girl out …
I met someone from fab for a social coffee recently, we got on really well invited back for a cuppa. Spent a few hours together, he asked if he could take me on a date and didn’t want to be naughty. I’ve seen him 4 times and only naughty once. He says he wants more but only ever messages sexually, never asked me any personal questions etc but continues to add meet requests and naked pics
I’m confused and I know I shouldn’t be as this is fab … thoughts welcome x"
It’s called control.
He is wants to have you under his thumb whilst simultaneously doing as he pleased.
Red flag. Fuck him off already. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That’s how I feel at the moment too. He left my house at 5pm today and by 6pm added a status looking for a meet x"
That should tell you all you need to know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That’s how I feel at the moment too. He left my house at 5pm today and by 6pm added a status looking for a meet x"
 I think you need to ask him outright and tell him that he needs to be totally honest with you. It's not fair on you to give you mixed messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What do you want is the question he might just want a regular friend but you need to decide what you are looking for then have the conversation
"Please can you help a girl out …
I met someone from fab for a social coffee recently, we got on really well invited back for a cuppa. Spent a few hours together, he asked if he could take me on a date and didn’t want to be naughty. I’ve seen him 4 times and only naughty once. He says he wants more but only ever messages sexually, never asked me any personal questions etc but continues to add meet requests and naked pics
I’m confused and I know I shouldn’t be as this is fab … thoughts welcome x"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Very good point here
"Please can you help a girl out …
I met someone from fab for a social coffee recently, we got on really well invited back for a cuppa. Spent a few hours together, he asked if he could take me on a date and didn’t want to be naughty. I’ve seen him 4 times and only naughty once. He says he wants more but only ever messages sexually, never asked me any personal questions etc but continues to add meet requests and naked pics
I’m confused and I know I shouldn’t be as this is fab … thoughts welcome x
It’s called control.
He is wants to have you under his thumb whilst simultaneously doing as he pleased.
Red flag. Fuck him off already."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m not great at this sort of advice but..before you ask him what’s what, I suggest ask yourself a question:
What is the minimum amount of respect I am entitled to?
Then decide if you need to ask him anything at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not great at this sort of advice but..before you ask him what’s what, I suggest ask yourself a question:
What is the minimum amount of respect I am entitled to?
Then decide if you need to ask him anything at all. "
Yeah we wouldn’t ask him anything just block and delete. He already has the OP questioning herself, she’s on the hook to speak. Only way is a complete clean break in instances like this. A metaphorical kick in the balls is the best way which is just to ghost and go cold, his ego won’t like it no matter how much he tries to brazen it out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not great at this sort of advice but..before you ask him what’s what, I suggest ask yourself a question:
What is the minimum amount of respect I am entitled to?
Then decide if you need to ask him anything at all. "
 |
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It's comes across to me that's it's sort of lip service to the dating side of things. Sounds like he's regulating his actions to mirror your intent in the hope and intension that some patience now will pay off later sexually. The reason I say this is yes you've had some non sexual dates however his focus in terms of his communication seems very one way. And this is where you may have to read between the lines.
Its fair enough asking whats, what, cards on the table. Doesn't mean you'll get a honest response. Some people can hear what others are saying and can to some extent replicate back what that person wants to hear but they actually want something different. Sometimes that's a ploy to get what they want and keep a supply of it into the future. Sometimes people are just predisposed to people please. Sometimes they don't even know their doing it. Which can result in them trying to make the motions the other person wants even if they don't match their own desires.
Obviously I don't stand in your shoes or his. None of us exactly know what's going on. However from what you describe it's definitely a little bit mixed messages and worth questioning. You can be Frank with him, it may not result in a true answer. As always this is where judgement, spidy senses and an ability to suss stuff out comes in.
And of course he may genuinely be a bit on and off the romance ship. Which of course is no crime. However that indecision may be no good to you if you're on a different road. Or at least you want clear clarity from him, not a game of being messed about.
Hope you find the clarity you seek.
Mr |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Please can you help a girl out …
I met someone from fab for a social coffee recently, we got on really well invited back for a cuppa. Spent a few hours together, he asked if he could take me on a date and didn’t want to be naughty. I’ve seen him 4 times and only naughty once. He says he wants more but only ever messages sexually, never asked me any personal questions etc but continues to add meet requests and naked pics
I’m confused and I know I shouldn’t be as this is fab … thoughts welcome x
The lack of personal questions means he's not bothered about you as a person. Some men claim to want to be friends/ FWB but actually just want a dial-a-fuck/ FB.
"
Spot on on both points. I think the first point relates to any kind of relationship or genders too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been burnt several times for not listening to myself.
It sounds like you aren't being treated respectfully.
Personally I'd wrap it up because if there is a lack of respect they may lie so no point talking it out. |
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