FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Too many meets?
Too many meets?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Have had a single fem and a couple tell me that when looking for a single bi fem like myself they would be put off if she had met loads of people. Thoughts? |
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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago
Retirement Village |
"Have had a single fem and a couple tell me that when looking for a single bi fem like myself they would be put off if she had met loads of people. Thoughts? "
i've never understood this statement especially on this site. Though i can (just about) see why it's said it seems really odd as we are on here looking to meet like mindes folks we are interested in aren't we  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have had a single fem and a couple tell me that when looking for a single bi fem like myself they would be put off if she had met loads of people. Thoughts? "
been told by many a couple to take some of our veries down it looks like we met too many people.but we just honest .thats what we do and why we on here.i feel it would be lying to edit them too much by doing that.its some one else's problem not yours.be yourself thats all i satpy.poppyxx  |
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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago
glasgow |
It wouldn't bother us How many people you had met.
on the other hand,you only have two pics on your profile,and in neither are you wearing stockings.
It wouldn't put us off entirely,but it would make us slightly wary.  |
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It is YOUR profile, display whatever you want on it 
As long as you are upfront and honest about your intentions. For instance, it would only be a problem if you stated on your profile that you like to take some time to get to know potential playmates, and stress quality over quantity, and then have a whole load of veris on your profile saying
"met her for a last minute shag" or something to that effect.
Even then, it isn't really anyone else's business beyond checking that you are indeed verified. |
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" been told by many a couple to take some of our veries down it looks like we met too many people.but we just honest .thats what we do and why we on here.i feel it would be lying to edit them too much by doing that.its some one else's problem not yours.be yourself thats all i satpy.poppyxx "
I totally agree with you.
Some people automatically assume because you have met some one that you have slept with them.
Some people like my self are very sociable and capable of sitting and having a chat to some one with nothing more expected.
I am very open and honest and show my i verifications.
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We have not been swinging long and still class our selves as shy but look at verification.s as a way of seeing how real people are as there is a lot of time wasters . We are lucky to have not been bothered by them lol. Though we have had fun with couples we have not been lucky to have met a single fem for us to share or even sit back and let the ladies have fun lol  but i.m sure it will happen as we are getting less shy ha ha
any way Bollox to every 1 else and keep the verification.s up so people can see your genuine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have had a single fem and a couple tell me that when looking for a single bi fem like myself they would be put off if she had met loads of people. Thoughts? "
I dont show mine for just that reason. I am here for friendship and the friends i make i keep. I also believe in discretion. For me my friends know i am real, my kids know i'm real and the tax man knows i exist everyone else can make up their own minds and take the gamble |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Despite protestations to the contrary, I think there is an element on here who hope to find a bi fem before she grasps the world of swinging fully and that she will almost become exclusive to them.
They feel that a woman with many veris is somehow tarnished and too far down the line to be likely interested in such a scenario.
She also comes with the added worry of just how much of a risk she is STD wise due to her multiple partners and like it or not, many will assume that promiscuity will be likely to have involved BB sex at some point.
People come here and bring their everyday standards, assumptions and conventions into a sexual arena which in many cases is no bad thing. The downside, of course, is that to many, women with extensive veris will be seen simply as slappers as opposed to swingers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Despite protestations to the contrary, I think there is an element on here who hope to find a bi fem before she grasps the world of swinging fully and that she will almost become exclusive to them.
They feel that a woman with many veris is somehow tarnished and too far down the line to be likely interested in such a scenario.
She also comes with the added worry of just how much of a risk she is STD wise due to her multiple partners and like it or not, many will assume that promiscuity will be likely to have involved BB sex at some point.
People come here and bring their everyday standards, assumptions and conventions into a sexual arena which in many cases is no bad thing. The downside, of course, is that to many, women with extensive veris will be seen simply as slappers as opposed to swingers."
unfortunately we have to agree with you on this,
people don't leave their preconceptions and assumptions at the door when they enter the site.
We wouldn't be put off by the fact people have actually met others, it shows you do met and you are who you say you are |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would be put off, but has nothing to do with being tarnished or the like.
I'm here to explore new things and they aren't with large groups or clubs etc.. So I would be looking for someone who is seeking simular things to me or its not going to be a match.
Is that not the standard thing to find someone who wants the same sort of things as yourself? |
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Multiple veris don't put me off, I do find it a bit odd when people say that myself given the nature of Fab. Given people can hide them anyway it does seem a bit pointless counting them anyway.
Sometimes I read veris and wonder if I can keep up with them! Lol. But hey, I'm a trooper and I'm always up for a challenge |
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"Have had a single fem and a couple tell me that when looking for a single bi fem like myself they would be put off if she had met loads of people. Thoughts? "
I don't think its just single bi fems, but anyone with a veri showing for everyday. How can they find so many people they are attracted to? It implies (if they are meet and play veri's) that the person isn't that bothered and will go with anyone - something many would choose to avoid.
If that doesn't bother you then sod them! Do what you want and have fun. Afterall there are still plenty willing to meet too..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Multiple veris don't put me off, I do find it a bit odd when people say that myself given the nature of Fab. Given people can hide them anyway it does seem a bit pointless counting them anyway.
Sometimes I read veris and wonder if I can keep up with them! Lol. But hey, I'm a trooper and I'm always up for a challenge "
Yet I did just say for me its about finding someone with a simular wants to myself..
Also there are threads about people looking for love on here or shouldn't swinging just be for couples etc.. The general response is people can use the site how they wish so what's the nature of the site?? |
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By *oddessTCouple
over a year ago
Chester Le Street |
Let them look elsewhere....
Do they realise that some people hide their veris? Just cos they have only 2/3 shown, doesn't mean they've only met 2/3.
Forget them and move on to people who are on here for the same reason you are - fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let them look elsewhere....
Do they realise that some people hide their veris? Just cos they have only 2/3 shown, doesn't mean they've only met 2/3.
Forget them and move on to people who are on here for the same reason you are - fun "
I don't understand why its a problem? No people don't show veri's but when u speak to them u would find out how they work..
I not interested in people who meet different people a few times a week or those who meet many many people at one time.. Should I not be on here?
So much for preference everyone foes on about  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Have had a single fem and a couple tell me that when looking for a single bi fem like myself they would be put off if she had met loads of people. Thoughts? "
Thats one fem and one couple telling you that. There's an awful lot more who wouldn't be put off so best concentrate on chatting to them. I wouldn't be comfortable meeting with people who start off by telling me how I should be using this site and what I should be showing on my profile.
Don't let it bother you and have fun! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just a though to add to the mix....
How many people has this discussion-point bi-fem met in a pub, in vanilla life and slept with...and doesn't have a veri from...
Veris are a guide to how good/bad a meet was, how frequent they meet etc., but use your instincts....ask questions... see if they stand up to scrutiny... don't rely on one method.
All the best... happy swinging
Dave
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i have been told in the past that i had to many veris and it gave the impression i was out to shag anythink that moved  being a single guy i thought by showing as many as possible, would prove i was genuine and reliable, ive now hidden a alot of repeat meets veris but it just seems you cant please everyone whatever you do ? |
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By *EXY50ishWoman
over a year ago
Anywhere and nowhere |
"Have had a single fem and a couple tell me that when looking for a single bi fem like myself they would be put off if she had met loads of people. Thoughts? "
My thoughts are: what complete judgmental, small minded fools they are x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"a man said to me once he would be put off meeting a woman who had lots of verifications because he thought she might have an STD."
and people have the same thoughts over bi guys.. each to their own |
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"A lot of people don't read the full Verification. They skim through and don't get the full picture  "
Yup.
We've had this, but if they had read them, and looked at the dates, they would form a different picture!
Our list spans about 4 years, and only half of the people we have actually played with.
We made the decision to show our verifs right from the start, to try to give people an idea of what we are like etc, if people don't like what they see, well, there are loads of sexy people out there who will lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of people don't read the full Verification. They skim through and don't get the full picture
Yup.
We've had this, but if they had read them, and looked at the dates, they would form a different picture!
Our list spans about 4 years, and only half of the people we have actually played with.
We made the decision to show our verifs right from the start, to try to give people an idea of what we are like etc, if people don't like what they see, well, there are loads of sexy people out there who will lol! "
Your right I have 11 veris, but only been intimate with 3  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had several guys now message me wanting to see me exclusively, I suggest that perhaps they have come to the wrong site, their argument is they want a woman who is "hornier than usual" but someone who won't play with anyone but them!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had several guys now message me wanting to see me exclusively, I suggest that perhaps they have come to the wrong site, their argument is they want a woman who is "hornier than usual" but someone who won't play with anyone but them!!! "
But are they offering the same ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have had a single fem and a couple tell me that when looking for a single bi fem like myself they would be put off if she had met loads of people. Thoughts? "
Display your veri's how you see fit and play with those who won't judge you based on them! I have a fair number displayed, but I also have hidden a couple (mainly from guys I wouldn't play with again) and have had several veri's from people who have left the site so they don't give a full picture anyway. If people think the number I have displayed are a lot then the real number would probably disgust them but so be it, they obviously aren't for me!
As for the STD issue - I am tested every 3-4 months (depending on how active I've been) and use condoms. If people feel that me having lots of meets implies I am diseased then leave them to it...I know the truth and my partners know my stance on condoms.
Play and display as you see fit after all you're here for your fun and no one elses x |
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By *eendeeCouple
over a year ago
sheffield |
We have 52 veris and only played with 11 of those veris the rest we have met at social gatherings a verification doesn't mean you have played with the people it can also mean u have met em at social meets and they are there to show you are a genuine cpl or person and too say actually what kind of person you are so don't worry bout what is said over too many just display em wuth pride and after all you do what you want with who you want x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It always gets us when people say we have too many verifications , and they cite quality over quantity !
What an insult to us and those we have met !!!!
Wouldn't wanna meet folk like that in a million years , we are just here for fun and those who criticise like that ain't worth it
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Despite protestations to the contrary, I think there is an element on here who hope to find a bi fem before she grasps the world of swinging fully and that she will almost become exclusive to them.
They feel that a woman with many veris is somehow tarnished and too far down the line to be likely interested in such a scenario.
She also comes with the added worry of just how much of a risk she is STD wise due to her multiple partners and like it or not, many will assume that promiscuity will be likely to have involved BB sex at some point.
People come here and bring their everyday standards, assumptions and conventions into a sexual arena which in many cases is no bad thing. The downside, of course, is that to many, women with extensive veris will be seen simply as slappers as opposed to swingers.
unfortunately we have to agree with you on this,
people don't leave their preconceptions and assumptions at the door when they enter the site.
We wouldn't be put off by the fact people have actually met others, it shows you do met and you are who you say you are "
I'd rather meet people who are open and confident enough not to hide who they are or who they meet...true swingers wouldn't ask you to change anything about yourself or make you feel bad for living the lifestyle that makes you happy.... I guess some folks are not as open minded as they think! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It always gets us when people say we have too many verifications , and they cite quality over quantity !
What an insult to us and those we have met !!!!
Wouldn't wanna meet folk like that in a million years , we are just here for fun and those who criticise like that ain't worth it
"
who said quality over quantity? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Despite protestations to the contrary, I think there is an element on here who hope to find a bi fem before she grasps the world of swinging fully and that she will almost become exclusive to them.
They feel that a woman with many veris is somehow tarnished and too far down the line to be likely interested in such a scenario.
She also comes with the added worry of just how much of a risk she is STD wise due to her multiple partners and like it or not, many will assume that promiscuity will be likely to have involved BB sex at some point.
People come here and bring their everyday standards, assumptions and conventions into a sexual arena which in many cases is no bad thing. The downside, of course, is that to many, women with extensive veris will be seen simply as slappers as opposed to swingers.
unfortunately we have to agree with you on this,
people don't leave their preconceptions and assumptions at the door when they enter the site.
We wouldn't be put off by the fact people have actually met others, it shows you do met and you are who you say you are
I'd rather meet people who are open and confident enough not to hide who they are or who they meet...true swingers wouldn't ask you to change anything about yourself or make you feel bad for living the lifestyle that makes you happy.... I guess some folks are not as open minded as they think! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have had a single fem and a couple tell me that when looking for a single bi fem like myself they would be put off if she had met loads of people. Thoughts? "
what business is it of theirs?...its great for people who have someone(ie bf-gf/man-wife), but then to put a limit on how many meets their prospective meet has had/will have???
it really only ever sounds like competition and control to me(coming from any group on fab)- who meets who is regardless of their business...and if they dont want to play with someone who meets too often?...well..they can move on cant they |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If people dont like any part of my profile, be it my pics or the amount of veri's i have they dont have to mail me
To be honest i would be put off with the attitude of people who dont meet those with to many veri's as it just makes me think they are looking for someone to keep for themselves and i dont want to meet people who are going to spit their dummy out every time i meet someone else, if they was just looking for someone to play with and move on why would they care who else you have met |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If people dont like any part of my profile, be it my pics or the amount of veri's i have they dont have to mail me
To be honest i would be put off with the attitude of people who dont meet those with to many veri's as it just makes me think they are looking for someone to keep for themselves and i dont want to meet people who are going to spit their dummy out every time i meet someone else, if they was just looking for someone to play with and move on why would they care who else you have met"
I'd wait in a line of a 100 man line up after u..and I wouldnt care if I was the last one in the line xxxxx
see I'm sweet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If people dont like any part of my profile, be it my pics or the amount of veri's i have they dont have to mail me
To be honest i would be put off with the attitude of people who dont meet those with to many veri's as it just makes me think they are looking for someone to keep for themselves and i dont want to meet people who are going to spit their dummy out every time i meet someone else, if they was just looking for someone to play with and move on why would they care who else you have met
I'd wait in a line of a 100 man line up after u..and I wouldnt care if I was the last one in the line xxxxx
see I'm sweet"
PMSL if you can find 100 men who want me i'll let you jump the queue |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If people dont like any part of my profile, be it my pics or the amount of veri's i have they dont have to mail me
To be honest i would be put off with the attitude of people who dont meet those with to many veri's as it just makes me think they are looking for someone to keep for themselves and i dont want to meet people who are going to spit their dummy out every time i meet someone else, if they was just looking for someone to play with and move on why would they care who else you have met
I'd wait in a line of a 100 man line up after u..and I wouldnt care if I was the last one in the line xxxxx
see I'm sweet
PMSL if you can find 100 men who want me i'll let you jump the queue "
any issues on the quality needed lol..its gonna be really easy lol xxx |
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By *anSusieCouple
over a year ago
Midlothian |
How many is to many?
How many is lot's?
Whatever their number is, wonder if they take into account how long someone been an active swinger for!Swingers like us who not only have private meets but go to Clubs,partys,social events and swingerholidays,who are nice+friendly will obviously get to know more people + therefor may well find more people they click with and play.
Someone on the Forum called this a 'healthy mix of meetveris' love the term + we have more in commmon with swingers who have lot's of fun with different ppl.than the ones who seem to play exclusively with 1 or 2.....each to their own and HAPPY SWINGING to you all...
(never counted our veri's but thanks again to each of you XX)
susie  |
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I only show two - one from a couple, one from a single guy. Both are innocuous and complimentary but don't go into any detail. I have no issue with people showing all of theirs - after all we're all here for the same thing, but I view verifications as something purely to show I'm real, genuine etc. Who I have sex with and how often is my business (and that of those concerned!) and I just don't feel the need to broadcast it - spoils the surprise |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If people dont like any part of my profile, be it my pics or the amount of veri's i have they dont have to mail me
To be honest i would be put off with the attitude of people who dont meet those with to many veri's as it just makes me think they are looking for someone to keep for themselves and i dont want to meet people who are going to spit their dummy out every time i meet someone else, if they was just looking for someone to play with and move on why would they care who else you have met"
Errrm nope never worried about the guys I've met meeting others |
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