FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > where are the doms?
where are the doms?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"They exist just don’t feel the need to tell anyone.
For me it’s a connection first and many don’t want to seem to build the time for that "
Exactly this... they don't need to tell anyone.
Make the connection and it Will become obvious.
There are too many presume dom to mean disrespecting and treating women badly. 
(I'm not looking for a dom, but have met a few along my journey) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago
london stratford |
"and i dont mean the cartoon doms. the ones who tick my box are the assertive gentlemen. Any other ladies feel the same?"
I am a dominant/assertive lover.
but not many people like that terminology.
I even tried speaking to you but obviously do not tick your boxes, |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Mostly on sites a bit more focused in that direction and at the events and munches I find.
There's plenty of dreamers and 'alpha' types on here though  "
That difference cannot be stated enough.
Dominant does not mean disrespecting or misogynistic. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rhugesMan
over a year ago
Cardiff |
Being a Dom is a skill like everything else that has to be learnt.
It's more to do with the mind than anything else.
You have to get in the subs head and that comes with time and experience.
The physical stuff adds to the experience .
Being assertive and saying you're a Dom doesn't work and everyone ends up being disappointed.
There are ways to spank someone that can cause them to orgasm.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Well isn't that a contentious and subjective thing?
As others have said maybe look more towards another lifestyle scene. But what's also important is knowing what you are looking for and being in the right place personally (maybe from a POV of techinical experience too) yourself. Its important to know you can match in your own personal mindset, capacity (and maybe experience) the fantasy and experiences you seek. The right person for you may take some searching. Starting with finding someone with the right nature, temperament and personality. The chemistry of how you interact, communicate and how confident you feel in their hands is so important. I don't think it's a simple of just demanding a dom off the shelf. Although it's fair to say some do just have that personal quality that most people naturally feel happy and safe to submit to. Some people you just know with. However once you know they can talk the talk you need to find out if they can walk the walk. Which to some extent may also rely on your experience too, especially from the POV of technical application.
I think it's as easy to say where's the doms at online as it for anyone to self proclaim themselves a dom online. But people's expectations and experience is different and that goes both ways. So I think it's more a case you just know it when you find it. I don't think the Internet is very good for that one bit. You really need to get out there in the physical world and encounter people face to face. Hopefully if you are sound in knowing what you're looking for you'll know when you encounter them. Logically if you're somewhere fet scene related your probability of finding what your looking for may increase. However not everyone engages with the wider fet scene.
Mr |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well isn't that a contentious and subjective thing?
As others have said maybe look more towards another lifestyle scene. But what's also important is knowing what you are looking for and being in the right place personally (maybe from a POV of techinical experience too) yourself. Its important to know you can match in your own personal mindset, capacity (and maybe experience) the fantasy and experiences you seek. The right person for you may take some searching. Starting with finding someone with the right nature, temperament and personality. The chemistry of how you interact, communicate and how confident you feel in their hands is so important. I don't think it's a simple of just demanding a dom off the shelf. Although it's fair to say some do just have that personal quality that most people naturally feel happy and safe to submit to. Some people you just know with. However once you know they can talk the talk you need to find out if they can walk the walk. Which to some extent may also rely on your experience too, especially from the POV of technical application.
I think it's as easy to say where's the doms at online as it for anyone to self proclaim themselves a dom online. But people's expectations and experience is different and that goes both ways. So I think it's more a case you just know it when you find it. I don't think the Internet is very good for that one bit. You really need to get out there in the physical world and encounter people face to face. Hopefully if you are sound in knowing what you're looking for you'll know when you encounter them. Logically if you're somewhere fet scene related your probability of finding what your looking for may increase. However not everyone engages with the wider fet scene.
Mr"
Brilliantly put |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *opemCouple
over a year ago
Reading |
It takes a while to develop a good Dom/sub dynamic with anyone new. And that assumes you get on. It's just like searching for swinging playmates, but you're fishing from a much, much smaller pool - in our experience that is quite often true across the other specialst sites too. So we can understand the disappointments (we know from experience) because there are a lot who say they are Dom but are probably just assertive or demanding but without the skills, capability or real desire to move it into a true BDSM dynamic that fits with each others expectations. It also all depends on what you are looking for and what levels. In summary, a bit of a minefield!
Good luck in your search. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"Well isn't that a contentious and subjective thing?
As others have said maybe look more towards another lifestyle scene. But what's also important is knowing what you are looking for and being in the right place personally (maybe from a POV of techinical experience too) yourself. Its important to know you can match in your own personal mindset, capacity (and maybe experience) the fantasy and experiences you seek. The right person for you may take some searching. Starting with finding someone with the right nature, temperament and personality. The chemistry of how you interact, communicate and how confident you feel in their hands is so important. I don't think it's a simple of just demanding a dom off the shelf. Although it's fair to say some do just have that personal quality that most people naturally feel happy and safe to submit to. Some people you just know with. However once you know they can talk the talk you need to find out if they can walk the walk. Which to some extent may also rely on your experience too, especially from the POV of technical application.
I think it's as easy to say where's the doms at online as it for anyone to self proclaim themselves a dom online. But people's expectations and experience is different and that goes both ways. So I think it's more a case you just know it when you find it. I don't think the Internet is very good for that one bit. You really need to get out there in the physical world and encounter people face to face. Hopefully if you are sound in knowing what you're looking for you'll know when you encounter them. Logically if you're somewhere fet scene related your probability of finding what your looking for may increase. However not everyone engages with the wider fet scene.
Mr"
The best commentary on BDSM dynamics in a long while. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It’s tricky to get across being a Dom male on a site like this, without falling into the caricature category. I am a dom man, I’m assertive, confident, in control and seeking to make you submit, bit by bit, to my will. Domination all starts in the mind though, and to do that, catch attention in a first message, and create a chemistry is pretty tricky. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"and i dont mean the cartoon doms. the ones who tick my box are the assertive gentlemen. Any other ladies feel the same?
I am a dominant/assertive lover.
but not many people like that terminology.
I even tried speaking to you but obviously do not tick your boxes,"
A decent lover bows out gracefully  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
