FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Lots of snubbing of certain kinks on here. Agree?
Lots of snubbing of certain kinks on here. Agree?
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By *nal-Fun OP Man
over a year ago
London & Leeds |
Would anyone agree that there seems to be a slight general closed-mindedness to certain kinks on this website? I know it’s not a fetish website, but I’d like to think people on here are pretty open-minded. But as time goes on I feel that less and less.
For instance, there’s a certain fetish website that’s very open-minded and I rarely see people snubbing each others kinks. Yet on here, if someone makes a post asking who’s into “watersports” or “anal fisting”, there are a ton of replies from people who say they find it disgusting. I know it’s free-speech and an open forum, but why bother? It just spreads negativity and encourages more people to say the same thing.
I’d love to see a shift on here whereby there’s less of that and more people embracing the diversity of kinks.
(Or maybe my kinks are just not suited to this website) |
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"Swingers are no more open minded or free of judgement than anyone else in society. Some people here will respect your kinks, others won’t."
I agree. In fact I think that quite a few people are less accepting of the way others play and feel more able to say so. There seems to be an element of 'our way is the right way' |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
Not sure we agree at all. If someone posts a open forum topic such as "who likes fisting?" it's perfectly reasonable that those who don't should be able to say so. More often than not this isn't judgemental, but simply a choice. Personally male on male sex is a turn off for us, but we don't think it's wrong, it's just not for us. However there are some things that we do think are wrong. Exhibitionism with non consenting members of the public appears to be a turn on for many, but it is the antithesis of swinging, which should always involve consent. It's also illegal. Are we wrong to criticize those who do it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot of posts I see ask for people’s opinions so think it’s totally acceptable that each can put their own opinions, on these posts Just because you don’t agree with something and dislike what others like doesn’t mean you are kink shaming. |
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I find that if you make the thread title more clear it attracts less dislike of the kink.
E.g 'Rolecall for the lovers of bareback' has far less negative views in it than
'Who likes bareback?' which opens the thread for opinions both negative and positive.
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It is without a doubt a lot more vanilla than the fetish website you mention, and yes there is definitely some kink shaming but...if a question on a open forum is asked, for example do you like XY&Z, you should always expect answers you won't like as we aren't all the same, thankfully.
Read it, laugh or scowl at it, move on. |
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On a site centred around a fetish lifestyle of course there's likely to be less snubbing of kinks.
Usually I only see actively negative responses on threads that ask for opinions on it. Otherwise most people will ignore threads that don't interest them. |
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By *nal-Fun OP Man
over a year ago
London & Leeds |
Thank you for all your opinions. I suppose I wasn't referring to posts where they encourage a "yes/no" response as to whether someone likes a certain kink - of course you are going to get people who answer with a no - but in general, on topics that talk about certain kinks, there are more people that kink shame on here than on other sites. And I agree, the website I mentioned is geared towards those with more non-vanilla kinks. I think I just expected this site to have members that are more sexually liberated and open-minded than the general public. I think I just expected a bit more *acceptance* of certain kinks - not necessarily more people who are into them. Maybe I was wrong to assume that.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think when discussing anything, you can't state only people who like it can comment. Any opinion, good or bad is valid.
If someone thinks it's disgusting then they think it's disgusting.
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"I think when discussing anything, you can't state only people who like it can comment. Any opinion, good or bad is valid.
If someone thinks it's disgusting then they think it's disgusting.
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Although there’s a strong argument that if you do think it’s disgusting, the nicer thing to do would be not to comment at all.  |
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"To be honest they have fabguys they could do well with fabkinks as fl is terrible to navigate "
Oh God. The amount of alpha doms and do me subs would be even more overwhelming than here. Out 
I like the other site. It's good for seeing what events are on and keeping up with the people I meet along the way, and my inbox there isn't perpetually filled with fuckboys |
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Despite being very much on the heavy fetish end of the spectrum, we too have things that we don’t find palatable. Everyone is different, and just because people class themselves as fetish, does not mean they are open to everything. For example, we are strongly against ballbusting in health grounds, and expressed this view forcefully on a recent thread.
Don’t get too vexed by all this though, the world would be a boring place if we all loved the same things! |
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i feel no one should judge anyone for what they like , as long as it is not causing hurt or pain to others, everyone has there likes who are we to say yes or no, swingers are more open ,, and i feel as i like to share my wife and enjoy the guys with her , makes me feel more open and tolerant of others as well as more caring towards others as well as my wife, so if others cant handle the fact i like to join my wife sucking cock or seeing him have fun with her tuff titty |
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The forum is a great way for people to potentially connect with others who are like-minded. When people support the forum to be able to do this, it makes Fab a better and more supportive place.
It could be really positive if we each questionned ourselves, before posting, to validate whether we're about to be in alignment with the above or more working against it.
Sure, the forum is open and we can post stuff. It's ideal if we aim to keep the value of the forum as high and positive as we each can do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not sure we agree at all. If someone posts a open forum topic such as "who likes fisting?" it's perfectly reasonable that those who don't should be able to say so. More often than not this isn't judgemental, but simply a choice. Personally male on male sex is a turn off for us, but we don't think it's wrong, it's just not for us. However there are some things that we do think are wrong. Exhibitionism with non consenting members of the public appears to be a turn on for many, but it is the antithesis of swinging, which should always involve consent. It's also illegal. Are we wrong to criticize those who do it."
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"I think I just expected this site to have members that are more sexually liberated and open-minded than the general public."
I think in comparison to the general public, most people on here are MUCH more open-minded. But not as open-minded as people on a kink site.
On a kink site, you're unlikely to get people who aren't into kinks, because they wouldn't bother signing up, and if they did, they'd pretty soon get banned.
But here the unifying thing is ENM, and people are no more likely to be into kinks than the general public. So the forum is much more likely to reflect a range of views on how attractive certain kinks are.
I think perhaps you're making an unstated assumption that the general public aren't into kinks simply because they're not open-minded enough. There is no evidence for that. In fact most kinks are exciting because they're transgressive of social norms. If everyone spent all day dressed in latex gimp suits, it wouldn't be sexy any more.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't actively shame anyone but then it is an open forum so people will share their opinions. I think some people like to create for the sake of creating ha but you get that everywhere. |
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So many pics hunters or people that like to talk about it on here. And hundreds of people been on a yr and no pics. No meets. Just people looking at ur pics and that's it. Don't even read it profile. ????? so sad xx |
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