FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Dealing with dead bedrooms
Dealing with dead bedrooms
Jump to: Newest in thread
"How many people are here because of a dead bedroom situation? How's it going? Is this site helping? "
Honestly, too fucking many. Some may get short term relief. No, it is not resolving the actual problem  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"How many people are here because of a dead bedroom situation? How's it going? Is this site helping?
Honestly, too fucking many. Some may get short term relief. No, it is not resolving the actual problem "
Very true  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"How many people are here because of a dead bedroom situation? How's it going? Is this site helping?
Honestly, too fucking many. Some may get short term relief. No, it is not resolving the actual problem "
Hit the nail on the head. A shame so many put more effort into a quick fix than putting real effort into their actual lives. I pity those ones greatly |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
It's not always a matter of lack of effort. If the relationship is fine otherwise but the other person simply doesn't desire sex anymore that's not something that can be fixed. And I think we'll all agree that it would be wrong to force/pester the other person for sex when they just don't want it anymore. So what's the alternative then? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's not always a matter of lack of effort. If the relationship is fine otherwise but the other person simply doesn't desire sex anymore that's not something that can be fixed. And I think we'll all agree that it would be wrong to force/pester the other person for sex when they just don't want it anymore. So what's the alternative then? "
Talk it through. Agree to ethical non monogamy or parting ways if such a major facet of the relationship is missing and cannot be resolved.
Whenever I've not wanted sex in a relationship, it was never that I didn't want sex. Endorphins and stimulation and fun are almost always welcome in themselves. I just didn't want sex with them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ash0000Man
over a year ago
Southwest |
"It's not always a matter of lack of effort. If the relationship is fine otherwise but the other person simply doesn't desire sex anymore that's not something that can be fixed. And I think we'll all agree that it would be wrong to force/pester the other person for sex when they just don't want it anymore. So what's the alternative then? "
Agree with this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
1. Therapy. Relate and other services offer a wide variety of counselling for couples, relationships and sex.
2. Ethical Non-monogamy. This would actually need to be discussed and consented to ofcourse. Proper boundaries set and adhered to.
E. Medical help. There could be lots of reasons medically that could be pushing one person to not want sex with their partner.
There's a couple of options. I'll be honest, if half of a couple is struggling to want sex, I'm not sure eventually finding out they're being cheated on is actually going to help that. I'd also argue, the relationship may be better off being ended if one half feels they need to lie and cheat, not just with sex but with anything.
You do you man. It's yours and your partners life.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thanks for the advice. Honestly appreciate your insights.
I used to have a black and white view on cheating and looked down upon those that did. But I guess my situation is the universe's way of teaching me to be less judgemental of others.
For example, when therapy/medication doesn't work and an open relationship isn't an option then divorce is the logical next step. Here I'd admit I have my own selfish reasons for not pursuing this option. Cut a long story short, she's from NYC, I'm from London and if we divorce I'd lose access to my kids.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
"Thanks for the advice. Honestly appreciate your insights.
I used to have a black and white view on cheating and looked down upon those that did. But I guess my situation is the universe's way of teaching me to be less judgemental of others.
For example, when therapy/medication doesn't work and an open relationship isn't an option then divorce is the logical next step. Here I'd admit I have my own selfish reasons for not pursuing this option. Cut a long story short, she's from NYC, I'm from London and if we divorce I'd lose access to my kids.
"
So basically she has you on a leash? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thanks for the advice. Honestly appreciate your insights.
I used to have a black and white view on cheating and looked down upon those that did. But I guess my situation is the universe's way of teaching me to be less judgemental of others.
For example, when therapy/medication doesn't work and an open relationship isn't an option then divorce is the logical next step. Here I'd admit I have my own selfish reasons for not pursuing this option. Cut a long story short, she's from NYC, I'm from London and if we divorce I'd lose access to my kids.
"
Feel free to ignore my question as I understand it might be too straightforward but assuming only, kids are staying most of the time with their mother, so NYC? How often do you have or see them? In my opinion, you are risking a lot by being found guilty of cheating.
This is not me judging or having a go at you, just trying to make sense of it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thanks for the advice. Honestly appreciate your insights.
I used to have a black and white view on cheating and looked down upon those that did. But I guess my situation is the universe's way of teaching me to be less judgemental of others.
For example, when therapy/medication doesn't work and an open relationship isn't an option then divorce is the logical next step. Here I'd admit I have my own selfish reasons for not pursuing this option. Cut a long story short, she's from NYC, I'm from London and if we divorce I'd lose access to my kids.
"
I don't know why married people choose a swinging site to fuck around on. It's the worst possible place to look.
Go on dating sites or affairs sites. Much more likely to find a fuck there.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Genuinely confuses me when people stay in relationships they're not happy in
Surely being on your own is better than being with someone you don't like?"
Not if it means losing access to kids. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Feel free to ignore my question as I understand it might be too straightforward but assuming only, kids are staying most of the time with their mother, so NYC? How often do you have or see them? In my opinion, you are risking a lot by being found guilty of cheating.
This is not me judging or having a go at you, just trying to make sense of it. "
It's fine. This is the most iv ever spoken about it
They live with me in UK. We're still a family. But she's from NYC originally. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Feel free to ignore my question as I understand it might be too straightforward but assuming only, kids are staying most of the time with their mother, so NYC? How often do you have or see them? In my opinion, you are risking a lot by being found guilty of cheating.
This is not me judging or having a go at you, just trying to make sense of it.
It's fine. This is the most iv ever spoken about it
They live with me in UK. We're still a family. But she's from NYC originally."
Oh ok, that makes sense now, thank you for answering.
I hope you can sort this out for everyone’s sake OP and I wish you well.
You seem reasonable. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
