FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Turned off by verifications?

Turned off by verifications?

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By *heBlowins OP Couple over a year ago

West Cork

Anyone else have an open mind to someone new.. until you see their verification(s)?

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By *rufflesCouple over a year ago

manchester

Good question...our (personal) choice is seeing a long list of verifications is a huge turn off for us.

A bit like being on your first date and your partner providing a list of their previous encounters!

We do recognise the importance of a couple of veri's...but a long list...no thanks!

Surely your common sense will quickly out the imposters and sad b******s???

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By *portbilly1976Man over a year ago

manchester

I like to read a few verifications - some indication of how they are at a meet, also I’m wary when they’re only webcam ones

I guess after a while here, especially if they visit clubs frequently they are likely to add up

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By *randMrsNorthernCouple over a year ago

Cheshire

Yes and no.

Some people say too many verifications can put them off, however all but a VERY small handful of our verifications are from either the chatrooms or bumping into people in clubs (rather than play).

We are only interested in women and couples, but if a profile which doesn’t give much away in terms of pics verifications from people with profiles we don’t like the look of (for whatever reason - usually grim pictures) we’d be less interested for sure.

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By *scobar67Man over a year ago

glasgow

Some yes... like this

Just fucked her for 3 hours she took it in every hole swallowed my cum the dirty slut... Treat with respect

How does that make sense!!!

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By *rpeggioCouple over a year ago

Baughurst

First, congrats on your profile photos OP. It reinforces our view that pics are very important to determine physical attraction but explicit pics are not needed, clothes on and smiles on faces are often enough for us.

About your interesting question, the number in itself is not as important to turn us off as the when, the frequency, from whom, where from and who left those verifications.

We can't help, however, to be judgemental after looking at a couples verifications and make a subjective opinion of the likelihood to form a connection with a couple, based on all the factors above.

OP, if you look at ours as an example... and putting aside that we likely are not what you look for, would the number of our veris or anything in them turn you off?

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By *rpeggioCouple over a year ago

Baughurst

[Removed by poster at 30/08/23 11:57:25]

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By *rpeggioCouple over a year ago

Baughurst

"Some yes... like this

Just fucked her for 3 hours she took it in every hole swallowed my cum the dirty slut... Treat with respect

How does that make sense!!! "

LOL. Agreed, does not make sense, but profiles can't help or edit what others write. Only thing you can do is not to display, so it implies they are ok with showing that veri in public

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By *aspar78Man over a year ago

derbyshire

Verifications are like reading the comments on a pornhub video, absolutely shit..

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By *ethnmelvCouple over a year ago

Cardiff

Veri’s are important, it shows that people actually meet! We aren’t interested in all the details, but we are interested in who people meet. We don’t put all our veri’s up, but we do try to send people veri’s if we meet them. It is then up to them to publish and/or respond. We don’t count webcam either.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How many verifications is too many? How many before you are put off ?

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By *londebiguyMan over a year ago

Southport

"Good question...our (personal) choice is seeing a long list of verifications is a huge turn off for us.

A bit like being on your first date and your partner providing a list of their previous encounters!

We do recognise the importance of a couple of veri's...but a long list...no thanks!

Surely your common sense will quickly out the imposters and sad b******s???

But how many is too many?

If people only show 2 or 3 , have they got 20 more hidden away ?

Surely you make your mind up from more than the number of verifications.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Feels almost a bit "damned if you do, damnwd if you don't" when it comes to Veris.

So many people refuse point blank to engage with or interact with a person if they have 0 veris. Especially single blokes.

Now there's a case of having too many

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By *aomilatteCouple over a year ago

Midlands

"Anyone else have an open mind to someone new.. until you see their verification(s)?

Yes sometimes. Certain details in verifications will mean we'll give them a miss.

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By *ornucopiaMan over a year ago

Bexley

I just realised that my verifications got turned off by the system during lockdown.

I've switched them back on again.

As you can see, I haven't shagged my way all across Fab but have enough to prove I'm genuine!

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By *r SensualMan over a year ago

London

Content of verifications rather than the number itself should be looked into and used to base an opinion of a person/people.

However, if someone is going to judge me solely based on the number in person interactions I’ve had without any other context but that, I’m questioning if they’re someone I want to engage with in the first place.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple over a year ago

Halifax

Over the top really graphic veries do put us off ,especially when the one who has left the veri Is bigging themselves up.

We don't need every detail that happened ,just that they are who they claim to be and turn up.

Sometimes we're put off by the people who have verified them.

It's not usually the amount that bothers us,unless they're having multiple meets everyday.

Miss

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

While we are here, does anybody fancy rating our verifications, give us their opinion ? Good /bad ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you were to read them would they hold your interest or would they put you off going any further with us ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I got rejected for one of my veris. I had met a local lady for a BJ at a local dogging spot, and someone else thought that was disgusting and said no way due to that!

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By *adyinred696969Couple over a year ago

Brecon

We have a lot on our main profile, but baring in mind we used to help organise a camping weekend every year that had over 100 attendees, a lot of them are not "play" veries.

If people look, and judge us based purely on the number, then I guess we probably weren't going to be a good match anyway, as we prefer people who like to make friends, and decide for themselves.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get turned on if a woman has a shitload of verifications.

But what do I know? I'm hardly bloody normal. :D

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By *lexanderSupertrampMan over a year ago

Gourock

I like to read verifications, it give me an indication of the type of person they are and the type of person they like to meet.

As for explicit veries, i dont leave that type of verification nor do i ask for them. But each to their own.

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By *jonesMan over a year ago

Plymouth

"We have a lot on our main profile, but baring in mind we used to help organise a camping weekend every year that had over 100 attendees, a lot of them are not "play" veries.

If people look, and judge us based purely on the number, then I guess we probably weren't going to be a good match anyway, as we prefer people who like to make friends, and decide for themselves."

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By *hirdTimesACharmCouple over a year ago

northamptonshire

We have a few but don’t think they’d be off putting

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get turned off if most of them are social verifications, as I am only interested in swinging not coffee and a chat.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

I'm not turned off from a volume of veris, as people can be here for years and many be nonsexual, eg friends. I'm looking to assess likely reliability and suitability, not interested in sexual content. And, of course, nobody is going to publish a veri that's not especially flattering.

Take what you want from veris, there's no 1 way to use them.

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By *ealitybitesMan over a year ago

Belfast

I don't pay much heed to the content of verifications and I would never meet someone based on who they were verified by.

I would however definitely decide not to meet or even engage with based on who they have met if I have previous history with them or know how they like to stir shit in the background.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple over a year ago

Cumbria

"Anyone else have an open mind to someone new.. until you see their verification(s)?

Yeah, never really bothered about the number but the content, and some of the people they have met, have definitely raised eyebrows.

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By *our TV fantasyTV/TS over a year ago

Waterloo, Liverpool

If a genuine meet is on the cards I will have a look at the QUALITY of the veris and be suspicious if the veri summary is hidden.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple over a year ago

Leeds

Most of ours are social verifications, the amount doesn't put me off I like to see some so I know people are real however overly graphic sexual ones totally put me off.

Mrs

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By *heBlowins OP Couple over a year ago

West Cork

Thanks so much everyone for chiming in and thanks @_rpeggio for the kind words about our pics

For us, a high number is not a bad thing.. we actually aspire to a large number of partners but that's just one of our kinks..

We typically don't care who meets who - lord knows we've been poor judges of character a few times

but sometimes we wonder if they really think we're attractive or just another bunch of holes based on who they've met and how they gushed about them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The number is irrelevant to a degree, as over time, they can build up. But you do see “returning profiles” getting lots of them in a short period of time.

Webcam verifications count for nothing in my book. A complete waste of time. Leaving a bad verification is equally useless as the recipient wouldn’t publish it. The most graphic of verifications appears to be written to big up the author. So what’s the ideal?

There isn’t. It’s another way of filtering. Publish as many as you want to. Decide if if someone has too little or too many based on your own values.

There is no right or wrong way to use fab.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How many verifications is too many? How many before you are put off ? "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Verifications on a profile pretty much always put me off. I don't want to see them or be part of that.

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By *hirdTimesACharmCouple over a year ago

northamptonshire

"Verifications on a profile pretty much always put me off. I don't want to see them or be part of that."

But you have no photos, no veri’s etc. how is anyone supposed to know anything about you

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By *luttyLaylaWoman over a year ago

North West

"Anyone else have an open mind to someone new.. until you see their verification(s)?

Yup. Most of the time.

Always say they do more harm than good in 90% of cases

I always tell the truth if I politely decline and they ask though.

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By *onningtonplumberMan over a year ago

Donnington

Damn.

Verifications are the ultimate chicken and egg situation for guys on here. You can't get a meet until you get a verification and you can't get a verification before you meet.

As soo. As I'm able I'll be going to the attic cinema and hope to meet a few of the guys from here there

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple over a year ago

Weymouth

We do have a nosey but don't pay them too much heed unless for example, they meet with people we want to avoid. This hasn't happened with anyone we're intending to meet though!

We only have a small amount of play veris, a lot are social, and now have some cam veris too!

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By *rpeggioCouple over a year ago

Baughurst

"While we are here, does anybody fancy rating our verifications, give us their opinion ? Good /bad ? "

Apologies to the OP for hijacking the OP thread (though might give clues how we read veris), but from a couple's POV, the veris of this couple profile would not put us off: without having read a single line of your profile or even looked at your pics, you seem a couple approachable, easy going that like to meet couples (no single men or women) for a social and sometimes play if there's attraction. Everyone says you are attractive but that means nothing because attractive to them does not mean attractive to us. You meet 2/3 times a month, started recently in 2022, only 13 veras, no veris from parties or clubs, and no odd gaps.

So nothing at all in your veris would put us off, and likely you are a couple that is great to meet socially. That's how we would read it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Verifications on a profile pretty much always put me off. I don't want to see them or be part of that.

But you have no photos, no veri’s etc. how is anyone supposed to know anything about you"

I'm not meeting on this profile.

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By *heBlowins OP Couple over a year ago

West Cork

"Damn.

Verifications are the ultimate chicken and egg situation for guys on here. You can't get a meet until you get a verification and you can't get a verification before you meet.

As soo. As I'm able I'll be going to the attic cinema and hope to meet a few of the guys from here there

Not everyone cares if a guy is verified (re: this and similar threads).. we actually quite enjoy being a guy's first sometimes

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By *quirtyndirty!Couple over a year ago

Nottingham

OK so we have quite a lot , but we do go to clubs fairly often (once or twice a month ) Loads of ours are social but not all and perhaps they show people how we are rather than our description of ourselves. They also show how we've evolved over time in the scene. We like to read them on other profiles as usually you get a better sense on whether you may click.

Really dislike the hypocrisy of people who criticise others for having too many veris! This is a swinging site ffs !

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

Not the number. The content can turn me off. And that's fine. We're not compatible. It's just a quicker way of working that out.

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By *ustus555Couple over a year ago

Always keep an open mind.

A few of our friends used to run a club and have over a hundred veris. So I suppose what I'm saying is sometimes ppl display all veris, whether social or playful. Where as we choose to display only a few of both. To be honest, we don't really care if ppl don't want a verification.

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By *llie AssMan over a year ago

South Yorkshire

I've noted from verifications when a guy says he's a total, dominant top and his veris say otherwise

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By *aomilatteCouple over a year ago

Midlands

"OK so we have quite a lot , but we do go to clubs fairly often (once or twice a month ) Loads of ours are social but not all and perhaps they show people how we are rather than our description of ourselves. They also show how we've evolved over time in the scene. We like to read them on other profiles as usually you get a better sense on whether you may click.

Really dislike the hypocrisy of people who criticise others for having too many veris! This is a swinging site ffs ! "
years

This is very well put

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

I like to see a couple of decent veris on a profile before I'll interact with them.

But a long long list from all sorts of people, all over the place, is somewhat off putting!

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By *ools and the brainCouple over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Never ceases to amaze me how judgemental people can be on a so called open minded site.

It's like mum'snet at times.

Join a knitting circle if people having sex pisses you off.

To use a phrase that I absolutely hate.

So veri SHAMING is ok is it?

Move on find someone who fits the bill no need to start a thread and disrespect people who are here to have fun.

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By *ustus555Couple over a year ago

Well put.

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By *heekyDemandCouple over a year ago

Leicester

Lots of our veris are just social, we may go to a club and chat to lots of people and only play with one person or couple, we like to think we leave a good impression

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By *quirtyfun69Couple over a year ago

Burnley

"Never ceases to amaze me how judgemental people can be on a so called open minded site.

It's like mum'snet at times.

Join a knitting circle if people having sex pisses you off.

To use a phrase that I absolutely hate.

So veri SHAMING is ok is it?

Move on find someone who fits the bill no need to start a thread and disrespect people who are here to have fun."

Well put

, a lot of ours are from socials

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Really dislike the hypocrisy of people who criticise others for having too many veris! This is a swinging site ffs ! "

How is it hypocrisy?

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By *heBlowins OP Couple over a year ago

West Cork

"Never ceases to amaze me how judgemental people can be on a so called open minded site.

It's like mum'snet at times.

Join a knitting circle if people having sex pisses you off.

To use a phrase that I absolutely hate.

So veri SHAMING is ok is it?

Move on find someone who fits the bill no need to start a thread and disrespect people who are here to have fun."

Totally valid point and certainly not the intent and apologies if anyone was offended... just had a moment today where we had a couple of messages from people who made us question if they really wanted us or just wanted some holes, irregardless of who was attached to them.

Typically try to stay upbeat and not judgemental, especially on Fab as we try to be sex positive but we do have moments of weakness and frustration sometimes.

Kudos for the call out and thanks x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Really dislike the hypocrisy of people who criticise others for having too many veris! This is a swinging site ffs ! "

This!!

But also, as a single female, from a safety point of view I like profiles that are well verified. It gives me a sense of who they are and what they're into, as well as who else they've met. I don't judge veris in isolation, they're part of the overall profile for me. I like to think mine give a good sense of who I am too.

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By *essicagraceWoman over a year ago

birmingham

Honestly it's really disheartening to see this.

Its got slut shaming vibes.

If every veri is the same, and the bio is shit and the way they talk is shit, then they may be seeing you as a hole.

However to see that someone is active and to instantly assume they're shallow and cruel and deceptive (implications of questioning if they really want you) is slut shaming. If you feel they're not into you based on how they talk (see the "you free now" brigade), then cool. But I have to say everyone who's made comments about my number of veris has turned out to either have a totally toxic perception of masculinity, be a total slut shamer, or both!

I hope this is more of a call in than call out and makes it a touch more explicit why some people feel sad when this topic comes up.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Honestly it's really disheartening to see this.

Its got slut shaming vibes.

If every veri is the same, and the bio is shit and the way they talk is shit, then they may be seeing you as a hole.

I hope this is more of a call in than call out and makes it a touch more explicit why some people feel sad when this topic comes up. "

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By *aomilatteCouple over a year ago

Midlands

"Lots of our veris are just social, we may go to a club and chat to lots of people and only play with one person or couple, we like to think we leave a good impression "

Our last play veri was a year ago!

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By *heekyDemandCouple over a year ago

Leicester

"Lots of our veris are just social, we may go to a club and chat to lots of people and only play with one person or couple, we like to think we leave a good impression

Our last play veri was a year ago!"

(Mr)

I remember seeing you floating around the Attic at the end of last year, but didn't directly speak to you. If I had I would have given you a veri. If we had played you would still have got a veri. If we meet and chat or play in the future, you will get a veri. I honestly can't see a reason why a person wouldn't.

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple over a year ago

Weymouth

Here to hold my hands up and admit that when we first joined fab I was really wary of just being seen as meat - I was worried about meeting a well verified couple who have ended up becoming firm friends of ours, my eyes were opened and I couldn't be happier on fab for it! - Xeno x

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By *rincess-PeachWoman over a year ago

irrelevant

Really suprised that veri numbers aka promiscuity are judged.... on a swingers site

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Really suprised that veri numbers aka promiscuity are judged.... on a swingers site

"
I've been on and off this site for years, and I'm continually amazed at how many judgy people there are on here.

I get it when people don't personally like something, but judging them for something / someone they did in the past, that didn't involve them, well I don't get that at all.

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By *ethnmelvCouple over a year ago

Cardiff

"While we are here, does anybody fancy rating our verifications, give us their opinion ? Good /bad ? "

Nice profile, nice pic’s, good veri’s - definitely maybe

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By *heBlowins OP Couple over a year ago

West Cork

It's discouraging and frustrating that this thread has taken such a negative turn and again, apologies to anyone for any offence caused.

I (Mr.) ignorantly didn't think of the topic of verification quantity when I started this thread- it's obvious now and I'm embarrassed I didn't think of it earlier.

This post was born purely out of questioning the motives from a very small group of men who paid us some interest.

Slut shaming is definitely not something either of us condone or are interested in- we love slutplay and continuously use and strive to reclaim the term as postive language and behaviour.

I hope the mods close this down if this gets worse and once more, apologies y'all- keep fabbing the way you do and all the best x

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By *r and Mrs B xxCouple over a year ago

Chippenham

Really dislike the hypocrisy of people who criticise others for having too many veris! This is a swinging site ffs ! years

This is very well put

Our thoughts exactly. We have a few but have been on Fab for a few years and do attend clubs and have quite a few from socialising.

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By *essicagraceWoman over a year ago

birmingham

"It's discouraging and frustrating that this thread has taken such a negative turn and again, apologies to anyone for any offence caused.

I (Mr.) ignorantly didn't think of the topic of verification quantity when I started this thread- it's obvious now and I'm embarrassed I didn't think of it earlier.

This post was born purely out of questioning the motives from a very small group of men who paid us some interest.

Slut shaming is definitely not something either of us condone or are interested in- we love slutplay and continuously use and strive to reclaim the term as postive language and behaviour.

I hope the mods close this down if this gets worse and once more, apologies y'all- keep fabbing the way you do and all the best x

Your first message deffo made me think you thought badly of the number of veris. In fact I'd be interested to know what positive discourse you were hoping for?

I'd say when starting threads try and be specific about what you're talking about.

I hope my comment has explained to people (not just you guys) why it can bring up negative feelings for people.

Happy fabbing guys, your profile is great x