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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Does anyone else feel down the day after a meet? Whether it was good or bad.
Had a great meet yesterday with a regular friend, amazing sex, both happily exhausted, but still feel bit down today.
Feel worse after a fuck and go, really aren't for me. Just makes me feel used, even tho that's a lot of what this is about, using each other for sex. I just prefer a bit more than that too.
Anyone relate?? Xxx |
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100%. I get this feeling every single time no matter how fantastic the ‘meet’ was.
Like yourself I’m not a ‘fornicate and go’ person. It doesn’t work for me. I like the build up and the teasing, plus the heavy breathing lying naked part at the end.
I’m not 100% sure what it is. Perhaps partly it’s a sense that the ‘build up’ even with someone regular is over. And perhaps it’s partly down to eventually wanting more I think. A partner in crime so to speak if not a full blown relationship.
Fortunately it doesn’t tend to last long. And if lucky enough to have picked the right partners for you the benefit far outweighs any negative. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think this is something that we don't talk about enough.
These feelings are actually really normal and lots of people experience them, particularly if you're single.
Its the rush at the time, the intensity, feelings and getting lost in the moment. It's the happy hormones we produce that take us high, only to drop back down.
That's when self care is most important |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah i suffer from post nookie blues. Same as OP ‘fuck and go’ just isnt for me. Sadly guys accuse you of being clingy when you try to fix how you feel by want to meet again too soon.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's very normal to go from very high to very low. I've had this a lot, I took it for bad experiences first but soon realised it can happen at any point with anyone. |
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As I have ADHD the massive dopamine hit of a meet is frequently followed by a low mood day. Sometimes it can be so bad in comparison to the sexual high, it feels almost bi-polar.
In the past it’s often led to chasing it immediately after and making some poor choices, but now I tend to just recognise it for what it is xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I have ADHD the massive dopamine hit of a meet is frequently followed by a low mood day. Sometimes it can be so bad in comparison to the sexual high, it feels almost bi-polar.
In the past it’s often led to chasing it immediately after and making some poor choices, but now I tend to just recognise it for what it is xx"
Huh. I sometimes feel the exact same, and I never drew a connection to my ADHD. That's something to think about. |
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Definitely! Sex can be a very intimate thing and sharing intense sexual moments and feelings with someone and then not having them there to repeat / reassure can cause that low. Obviously even more so if your single. Am not single and have an amazing partner who 100% supports me and my adventures an I get this too. Just recognising what it is ( 100% normal) and knowing it will pass works for me. I dont do fuck and goes for this very reason. High highs and low lows. X |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
I walk a fine line with this dimension...I very much need conversation touching kissing and a sense of connection and charm, generally , to get arroused, I generally meet people in clubs , and struggle when people I have had an intimate time with are not interested in chatting etc ...they have moved on to the next person ..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for all the replies, good to know i aren't the only one.
I guess we have to decide if the highs are worth the lows thst follow, and since we are all still here I guess they are xx |
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By *intteaMan
over a year ago
Bristol |
Yes! Thank you for posting about it.
As a single guy I find myself getting more and more into the scene on the build up to a big meet (or couple of meets if they are close together) and then afterwards feel ready to walk away from the whole thing. I often have. And then the cycle repeats itself.
It can be such an empty feeling the day after once all the chemicals are out of my system.
I still always end up coming back though - the high is to good. It sounds like how people describe taking drugs - maybe it is the same because it is all about chemical in the brain
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I see it as similar to sub drop in my BDSM play.
But it can apply to sex, you get the happy endorphins, and then once your spent, they're gone and you can feel a little empty and sad.
Just be kind to yourself on those days |
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Just a note from above posts..
Couldn't help but notice that the majority of ppl answering "yes" are singles. Do you suppose Theresa connection??
Only reason I say this is because we are always buzzing for days after a meet.  |
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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago
Milton keynes |
I suppose it depends on the form of relationship or friendship you have with that person I reckon.. I always have a chat to catch up first before things get heated and I love a snuggle afters. Probably why I prefer 1 on 1 meets, it's a bit more intimate in my books |
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"
Couldn't help but notice that the majority of ppl answering "yes" are singles. Do you suppose Theresa connection??
Only reason I say this is because we are always buzzing for days after a meet. "
We had exactly the same thought.
We’ll have several days of amazing sex after a meet, so this is probably keeping the pleasure chemicals buzzing around our brains.
For singles, it must be hard to hold onto that horn without further action, right? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m no psychologist but I’d dare say that if you feel down after a meet then it probably means you’re looking for more than just sex.
You have other needs that aren’t being fulfilled and casual sex is temporarily filling the void in that moment, and then leaving you feeling empty again afterwards. You probably want a relationship, even if you aren’t aware of it. |
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"I’m no psychologist but I’d dare say that if you feel down after a meet then it probably means you’re looking for more than just sex.
You have other needs that aren’t being fulfilled and casual sex is temporarily filling the void in that moment, and then leaving you feeling empty again afterwards. You probably want a relationship, even if you aren’t aware of it."
Very good answer. But what if the person feeling down is already in a relationship?
Does that mean their relationship is not fulfilling them properly?   |
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Sex stimulates the production of oxytocin, also known as the love hormone. Oxytocin is released when we have positive interactions with people (or pets) and is released at a much higher rate during intimate acts such as sex. It also seems to stimulate the production of other hormones such as dopamine and serotonin, the combination of the three give you that rush after sex.
It’s not all good news though as oxytocin seems to be an amplifier of what you are feeling and so stimulates production of cortisol, the stress hormone, once the rush wears off and the person who caused the rush has gone. This can cause low mood and feelings of jealousy because we miss the person who caused the happy feeling.
Like it or not we evolved as social animals, our brains reward us for being around and cooperating with others, we are designed to be with and around others.
So what you’re experiencing is perfectly natural, hormones are great - except when they aren’t. |
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"I’m no psychologist but I’d dare say that if you feel down after a meet then it probably means you’re looking for more than just sex.
You have other needs that aren’t being fulfilled and casual sex is temporarily filling the void in that moment, and then leaving you feeling empty again afterwards. You probably want a relationship, even if you aren’t aware of it."
Not necessarily. I am single and not looking for relationships of any kind and I’m very aware of what I want, and I have no mysterious void to fill.
I crave human touch and skin to skin contact, not even the sex in particular.
It’s that simple.
But that’s me, my understanding is everyone is different.
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
"I’m no psychologist but I’d dare say that if you feel down after a meet then it probably means you’re looking for more than just sex.
You have other needs that aren’t being fulfilled and casual sex is temporarily filling the void in that moment, and then leaving you feeling empty again afterwards. You probably want a relationship, even if you aren’t aware of it."
Yes , I'm looking for good chat , a laugh , a charming smile ...and yes maybe a relationship...it's just tricky finding someone into this malarky via normal dating ...I know from having tried a few times ...
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