FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > This isn't Tinder!
This isn't Tinder!
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Bit of a rant, sorry.
Single guys are always on here booting off about how hard FAB is. What about the girls, receiving endless dick pics and "wanna fuck now" one liners?
Ethical non-monogamy is soooo much more than sex. Sex is on the cards, yes, but there are 52 amazing cards to play, only one of them is the Ace of Spades.
Too many guys think we're all here having sex on demand and they talk to girls like commodities. They've struck out on tinder and think they can come here for an easy lay.
Think about your messages before you send them. Would you say that to a girls face? What would you say if someone sent that to your sister, or mum?
When girls do put themselves out there, they get stood up, catfished or even sexually
assaulted.
For every girl who has experienced that, I'm sorry.
Guys... be better people or bugger off and leave us to this corner of the Internet in peace.
 |
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We see this regularly and they seem to forget about the block button and if they did this in a club, wouldn't it be classed as Sexual Harrasment, we don't mind a dick pic but not the first 2nd or 3rd message, some are rude and dont even say hi lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Some of the messages from guys are respectful and lovely but some are disgusting. If you wouldn't approach someone like that in the street then because it's a message on social media gives you no right to do it here. |
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Most "offenders", including ones that touch without asking in clubs, don't read forums, unfortunately. Though in my opinion, forum should be an obligatory read, at least some posts.
But 100% agree with you, OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Bit of a rant, sorry.
Single guys are always on here booting off about how hard FAB is. What about the girls, receiving endless dick pics and "wanna fuck now" one liners?
Ethical non-monogamy is soooo much more than sex. Sex is on the cards, yes, but there are 52 amazing cards to play, only one of them is the Ace of Spades.
Too many guys think we're all here having sex on demand and they talk to girls like commodities. They've struck out on tinder and think they can come here for an easy lay.
Think about your messages before you send them. Would you say that to a girls face? What would you say if someone sent that to your sister, or mum?
When girls do put themselves out there, they get stood up, catfished or even sexually
assaulted.
For every girl who has experienced that, I'm sorry.
Guys... be better people or bugger off and leave us to this corner of the Internet in peace.
"
very well said x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Bit of a rant, sorry.
Single guys are always on here booting off about how hard FAB is. What about the girls, receiving endless dick pics and "wanna fuck now" one liners?
Ethical non-monogamy is soooo much more than sex. Sex is on the cards, yes, but there are 52 amazing cards to play, only one of them is the Ace of Spades.
Too many guys think we're all here having sex on demand and they talk to girls like commodities. They've struck out on tinder and think they can come here for an easy lay.
Think about your messages before you send them. Would you say that to a girls face? What would you say if someone sent that to your sister, or mum?
When girls do put themselves out there, they get stood up, catfished or even sexually
assaulted.
For every girl who has experienced that, I'm sorry.
Guys... be better people or bugger off and leave us to this corner of the Internet in peace.
"
By advising all these people (not just men) how to conduct themselves you're sorting ruining peoples filters.
People don't change just because someone has taught them how to send an interesting message or how to make a half decent profile. |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"Bit of a rant, sorry.
Single guys are always on here booting off about how hard FAB is. What about the girls, receiving endless dick pics and "wanna fuck now" one liners?
Ethical non-monogamy is soooo much more than sex. Sex is on the cards, yes, but there are 52 amazing cards to play, only one of them is the Ace of Spades.
Too many guys think we're all here having sex on demand and they talk to girls like commodities. They've struck out on tinder and think they can come here for an easy lay.
Think about your messages before you send them. Would you say that to a girls face? What would you say if someone sent that to your sister, or mum?
When girls do put themselves out there, they get stood up, catfished or even sexually
assaulted.
For every girl who has experienced that, I'm sorry.
Guys... be better people or bugger off and leave us to this corner of the Internet in peace.
"
Tinder isn't exactly easy either. Every dating and hookup site with the exception of match has a larger male to female ratio.
Note you can wine birch or Moan about it or get desperate start playing fab roulette. Or understand and work with the restraints and accept that it is what it is. While actively engaging in swinging community. |
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I have to say it's definitely not just men, although the indecent exposure is mostly them.
The abusive message from women when you give a polite no thank you is something else.
Regardless of gender people should conduct themselves properly the excuse of this being a sex site seems like an easy escape for shitty behaviour.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Anywhere in life you get people who treat you disrespectfully, this place is no different. I'm too old to argue with or educate people on how to be a decent human being. We don't need men to monitor their behaviour, we need women to know their worth and not tolerate that behaviour. People can only treat you badly if you give them the power to do so. I encourage all men to actually be who they are, makes life a lot easier when they show theirselves quickly. |
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"Bit of a rant, sorry.
Single guys are always on here booting off about how hard FAB is. What about the girls, receiving endless dick pics and "wanna fuck now" one liners?
Ethical non-monogamy is soooo much more than sex. Sex is on the cards, yes, but there are 52 amazing cards to play, only one of them is the Ace of Spades.
Too many guys think we're all here having sex on demand and they talk to girls like commodities. They've struck out on tinder and think they can come here for an easy lay.
Think about your messages before you send them. Would you say that to a girls face? What would you say if someone sent that to your sister, or mum?
When girls do put themselves out there, they get stood up, catfished or even sexually
assaulted.
For every girl who has experienced that, I'm sorry.
Guys... be better people or bugger off and leave us to this corner of the Internet in peace.
Tinder isn't exactly easy either. Every dating and hookup site with the exception of match has a larger male to female ratio.
Note you can wine birch or Moan about it or get desperate start playing fab roulette. Or understand and work with the restraints and accept that it is what it is. While actively engaging in swinging community. "
100% |
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"I have to say it's definitely not just men, although the indecent exposure is mostly them.
The abusive message from women when you give a polite no thank you is something else.
Regardless of gender people should conduct themselves properly the excuse of this being a sex site seems like an easy escape for shitty behaviour.
Mrs "
Agreed. |
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"Anywhere in life you get people who treat you disrespectfully, this place is no different. I'm too old to argue with or educate people on how to be a decent human being. We don't need men to monitor their behaviour, we need women to know their worth and not tolerate that behaviour. People can only treat you badly if you give them the power to do so. I encourage all men to actually be who they are, makes life a lot easier when they show theirselves quickly."
That's fantastic advice!  |
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I hate to remind you all, but.........
This is FAB one can do whatever they wish without regard of others emotions or feelings.
If I delete your mail tough, ghost you tough, call you names and treat you with disrespect without even personally knowing you tough, stereotype you tough, send you cock pics tough, block you then come on the forum and hint what was done tough, tar you as something your not tough, the list is exhaustive.
This is what we pay for, get on with it or open the door walk through and close it behind you.
Just thought I would remind you all of this, as I see it often on this site. |
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"I hate to remind you all, but.........
This is FAB one can do whatever they wish without regard of others emotions or feelings.
If I delete your mail tough, ghost you tough, call you names and treat you with disrespect without even personally knowing you tough, stereotype you tough, send you cock pics tough, block you then come on the forum and hint what was done tough, tar you as something your not tough, the list is exhaustive.
This is what we pay for, get on with it or open the door walk through and close it behind you.
Just thought I would remind you all of this, as I see it often on this site."
Sending cock pics unsolicited is a crime, FYI.
And these people who you treat like this are humans, they have feelings. Stuff like this send people over the edge. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I hate to remind you all, but.........
This is FAB one can do whatever they wish without regard of others emotions or feelings.
If I delete your mail tough, ghost you tough, call you names and treat you with disrespect without even personally knowing you tough, stereotype you tough, send you cock pics tough, block you then come on the forum and hint what was done tough, tar you as something your not tough, the list is exhaustive.
This is what we pay for, get on with it or open the door walk through and close it behind you.
Just thought I would remind you all of this, as I see it often on this site."
I’m sure with that attitude you get people flocking to meet you 
yes you can do all those things you said but why would you want to treat others like that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I hate to remind you all, but.........
This is FAB one can do whatever they wish without regard of others emotions or feelings.
If I delete your mail tough, ghost you tough, call you names and treat you with disrespect without even personally knowing you tough, stereotype you tough, send you cock pics tough, block you then come on the forum and hint what was done tough, tar you as something your not tough, the list is exhaustive.
This is what we pay for, get on with it or open the door walk through and close it behind you.
Just thought I would remind you all of this, as I see it often on this site."
Every time someone complains about the M to F ratio on here, this sort of attitude is the reason why!! I've deleted previous accounts so many times because life is too short to suffer that much nonsense just in the pursuit of ENM sex, and too many decent single women don't stick around for the same reason. Keeping my inbox mostly closed to single men is the only thing that makes this site tolerable.
Thanks to the OP for starting this discussion. We need more men speaking up and holding other men to account |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Bit of a rant, sorry.
Single guys are always on here booting off about how hard FAB is. What about the girls, receiving endless dick pics and "wanna fuck now" one liners?
Ethical non-monogamy is soooo much more than sex. Sex is on the cards, yes, but there are 52 amazing cards to play, only one of them is the Ace of Spades.
Too many guys think we're all here having sex on demand and they talk to girls like commodities. They've struck out on tinder and think they can come here for an easy lay.
Think about your messages before you send them. Would you say that to a girls face? What would you say if someone sent that to your sister, or mum?
When girls do put themselves out there, they get stood up, catfished or even sexually
assaulted.
For every girl who has experienced that, I'm sorry.
Guys... be better people or bugger off and leave us to this corner of the Internet in peace.
"
Completely agree. Been on here a few times over the years and single men on here now just haven't got a clue about the scene.. |
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By *irenityCouple
over a year ago
Southport |
100% Agree with the OP. We both have our own profiles, as well as a couples profile. Some of the messages Mrs S has received have been, well frankly awful. One liners unsolicited pictures and most haven't bothered to read profile text, for those that have, Mrs S always responds. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Tinder isn't for sex dating you perv. It is a dating app. Why are you on here?"
Said my partner's sister when I quizzed her about having a Tinder profile.  |
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"100% Agree with the OP. We both have our own profiles, as well as a couples profile. Some of the messages Mrs S has received have been, well frankly awful. One liners unsolicited pictures and most haven't bothered to read profile text, for those that have, Mrs S always responds. "
This is the same for me on my single profile ,I use loads of filters but the odd wrong un still slips through now and then.
Couples can have a bad attitude too though,it's not just single men & probably some women ,though we don't look for them.
We all know it's a swinging site & it's easy to forget there's an actual person who gets the abusive /rude messages.
Miss
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Hahahaha you think I have done these things, no no no not me.
My profile is hidden and I write to no one as I have seen men put down down down and all tarred with the same brush, the wanking dead is a popular one.
Hence I wouldn't go to a club, if people are like this here what would I expect in a club no not for me to pay to be insulted no.
I read the forums and those are the complaints I have read, time and time again.
People have posted "not again, f sake, play a different tune" etc when I read the reply to these complaints and the most popular one is "I can do what I please here, or this is FAB I will do as I please".
And you are right it can affect mental health, hence why I wrote there is no room for emotions or the such due to the answers complaints get.
So no this is not my attitude it is those of the posters who I have read that has lead me to my comments and observations.
So those who do not like the truth which cannot be played down as the proof is on this very site, should as the O.P suggest, and his suggestion was put in a way that is insulting to men who are seeking the same as most of you here.
|
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"Bit of a rant, sorry.
Single guys are always on here booting off about how hard FAB is. What about the girls, receiving endless dick pics and "wanna fuck now" one liners?
Ethical non-monogamy is soooo much more than sex. Sex is on the cards, yes, but there are 52 amazing cards to play, only one of them is the Ace of Spades.
Too many guys think we're all here having sex on demand and they talk to girls like commodities. They've struck out on tinder and think they can come here for an easy lay.
Think about your messages before you send them. Would you say that to a girls face? What would you say if someone sent that to your sister, or mum?
When girls do put themselves out there, they get stood up, catfished or even sexually
assaulted.
For every girl who has experienced that, I'm sorry.
Guys... be better people or bugger off and leave us to this corner of the Internet in peace.
"
Totally agree with you |
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We've never used Tinder, but have a Lady friend that has for quite a while. She gets sent cock pics, finds out some are married, some are in relationships with 2 or 3 Women at a time, gets ghosted. Is it very dissimilar to being on Fab? |
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". This is FAB one can do whatever they wish without regard of others emotions or feelings...
Not really. Fab has rules and abusive behaviour can be reported. "
mmmmm I agree with that, have a look at the Why do folks expect respect and manners but don't give them back, thread you should see what I am referring to.
It is sad to see men on here getting attacked and stereotyped, just for questioning FABs narrative. |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
Thank you OP. It makes a change for a guy to stand up and say these things. Some people do take notice.
It is about changing attitudes.
We should all feel safe at all times, online, at home and when we’re out and about. |
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"Bit of a rant, sorry.
Single guys are always on here booting off about how hard FAB is. What about the girls, receiving endless dick pics and "wanna fuck now" one liners?
Ethical non-monogamy is soooo much more than sex. Sex is on the cards, yes, but there are 52 amazing cards to play, only one of them is the Ace of Spades.
Too many guys think we're all here having sex on demand and they talk to girls like commodities. They've struck out on tinder and think they can come here for an easy lay.
Think about your messages before you send them. Would you say that to a girls face? What would you say if someone sent that to your sister, or mum?
When girls do put themselves out there, they get stood up, catfished or even sexually
assaulted.
For every girl who has experienced that, I'm sorry.
Guys... be better people or bugger off and leave us to this corner of the Internet in peace.
"
|
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
there are real swingers who indeed do swing just for sex ...
there is no one way to swing there is no guild lines or golden rules alot more swing without socials than those who want socials..
however where i do agree is the message thats sent is important but again its not a guy problem its a people problem
also sending a unsolicated nude pic is a very very grey area if you look at the law in simple terms then yes its against the law but it wont get looked at that way as it will take into account the platform its being sent on ...
last week i know of 3 couples and 1 woman who have hidden there accounts and are saying meeting on line is over and i can see why the scene is going underground again word of mouth like the old days ... if not careful online and clubs will suffer... but lets be very clear its not a guy problem its a people problem..
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
"I've noticed alot of local guys on here were also on tinder when I was looking to date.
And say one thing on here and totally different on tinder  "
i know a few ladies who have set up fabguy accounts you should see some of the stuff on there ...wow is the word |
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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago
Norfolk East anglia |
"I've noticed alot of local guys on here were also on tinder when I was looking to date.
And say one thing on here and totally different on tinder
i know a few ladies who have set up fabguy accounts you should see some of the stuff on there ...wow is the word "
 not sure I want too  |
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"I hate to remind you all, but.........
This is FAB one can do whatever they wish without regard of others emotions or feelings.
If I delete your mail tough, ghost you tough, call you names and treat you with disrespect without even personally knowing you tough, stereotype you tough, send you cock pics tough, block you then come on the forum and hint what was done tough, tar you as something your not tough, the list is exhaustive.
This is what we pay for, get on with it or open the door walk through and close it behind you.
Just thought I would remind you all of this, as I see it often on this site."
Oh dear,so you pay a subscription and that feel that auto entitles you to behave as you have described... this is a First for me.
Attitudes like this aren't acceptable in any walk of life..
Are you happy to have the same behaviour in return? Or is it One rule for you ? |
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