FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Meeting with attached people
Meeting with attached people
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What are your thoughts if their partner doesn’t know? Is it a complete deal breaker or something you can look past for the right person?
Found some are seeking people out that are attached and some want to avoid the drama all together. |
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It's a deal breaker for us op,
Id hate someone to do it to me & when there's plenty of single people and couples here ,I don't see a need to choose someone who's playing away.
Others will disagree and do what's best for them.
Miss |
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Attached people don't necessarily cause drama. Loads of genuine singles and couples are very good at that.
We won't meet attached people alone but are more than happy to if they bring their partner. We don't particularly care if someone is going behind their partners back it's not really our business but we don't want to be involved.
Having said all that we're pretty sure we've met men who claim to be single but really aren't |
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We have experience this a fair few times with men, women and fab couples on the club scene. It's generally not the first thing you ask people. There was one lady we'd had a couple of encounters with over the time. It's was bumping into her the 3rd/4th time and talking to her some more we found out her partner at home doesn't know about her activities on the scene.
As for where we stand on it, it's not an endearing feature but we would be hypocritical to say it a total no, because it isn't always. We were both cheated on by our ex spouces. We know the hurt and the damage, especially when a young family is involved. However in the context of a club we are not their to police the morality of others, just to explore our desires drama free. However I'm not sure if outside of the club we'd ever meet with someone cheating because is a bit more person and close to home. |
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we had 1 guy the mrs used to play a few times in a club we used to help run, as you chat he had said he can only get out evry 2 weeks as his wife had passed away and he had 2 sons 1 disabled who every 2 weeks his older son would babysit. after a cpl of months he disapeered , then 1 night his dead wife come looking for him in the club. since then a cpl of years later hes back on the swing scene . |
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By *orl1971Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
Dealbreaker for us. Don’t want the wife, dead or alive, turning up to cause drama. People might have their reasons to play away without permission but as well as the moral dilemma it makes any meets complicated . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I think a lot of attached people that are playing without permission like others in the same boat, makes them feel safer if you've both something to loose, like you'll both be more careful and discreet.
What I don't get is why people lie about whether they are taken or not. Then again people lie about all sorts on here, what they want, what they've done, if they'll meet, their age etc etc  |
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"we had 1 guy the mrs used to play a few times in a club we used to help run, as you chat he had said he can only get out evry 2 weeks as his wife had passed away and he had 2 sons 1 disabled who every 2 weeks his older son would babysit. after a cpl of months he disapeered , then 1 night his dead wife come looking for him in the club. since then a cpl of years later hes back on the swing scene ."
Wow that's low
There was a man who used to use the forums, who claimed to be a widower with a few kids.
It all came out she was v much alive ,lies catch up with people,so always best to be upfront with those who you meet.
Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not a deal breaker for me. I never give out my address, locations disabled, not on Facebook or any of the oft mentioned social sites and use a burner phone so no chance of an irate spouse hunting me down |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm attached and I tend to go for attached people, why? Because it's much less drama we're both there for exactly the same reasons just pure nsa sex! A girl I met years ago said she went for married guys because she was happy with everything at home but the sex and she didn't want anyone getting feelings for her, hence why she met married men....less drama, am I selling myself here?  |
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"I'm attached and I tend to go for attached people, why? Because it's much less drama we're both there for exactly the same reasons just pure nsa sex! A girl I met years ago said she went for married guys because she was happy with everything at home but the sex and she didn't want anyone getting feelings for her, hence why she met married men....less drama, am I selling myself here? "
How does being married stop people getting feelings? |
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"I think he means it’s less likely he’s found others that are happy in their marriage but just want something a little extra "
Oh ok. I find it interesting that people think that a wedding ring is like kryptonite for feelings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm attached and I tend to go for attached people, why? Because it's much less drama we're both there for exactly the same reasons just pure nsa sex! A girl I met years ago said she went for married guys because she was happy with everything at home but the sex and she didn't want anyone getting feelings for her, hence why she met married men....less drama, am I selling myself here?
How does being married stop people getting feelings? "
In my experience, you know what you're getting into from the start, just sex, so sub consciously there's much less chance you're going to develop feelings for someone, might sound crass but I'd say majority of attached meets are one offs, you're less likely to develop any feelings in just one meet |
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"I'm attached and I tend to go for attached people, why? Because it's much less drama we're both there for exactly the same reasons just pure nsa sex! A girl I met years ago said she went for married guys because she was happy with everything at home but the sex and she didn't want anyone getting feelings for her, hence why she met married men....less drama, am I selling myself here?
How does being married stop people getting feelings?
In my experience, you know what you're getting into from the start, just sex, so sub consciously there's much less chance you're going to develop feelings for someone, might sound crass but I'd say majority of attached meets are one offs, you're less likely to develop any feelings in just one meet "
I understand thanks for explaining. I agree that one off meetings are less likely to encourage deeper feelings. I guess as well that if it's purely physical sex that you're missing rather than the intimacy it engenders you're less likely to feel or develop deeper feelings |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We're not fussed either way.
Alice meets guys from AM (a well-known 'discreet' site). Half say they're not married, but obviously probably are. "
Why dont they just be honest?, cannot accommodate usually a bit of a giveaway, there's no way I'd be able to carry it off by saying I'm not attached lol, please pm me this other discreet site |
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"We're not fussed either way.
Alice meets guys from AM (a well-known 'discreet' site). Half say they're not married, but obviously probably are.
Why dont they just be honest?, cannot accommodate usually a bit of a giveaway, there's no way I'd be able to carry it off by saying I'm not attached lol, please pm me this other discreet site "
I presume they're not honest because they think it will put her off. |
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A lot of guys on here are married and looking for a daytime fumble. That doesn't appeal to me i want more than a 10min quickie.
I have met people who tell me a whole back story about a divorce thats turns out to be fiction. I then find out they've been married , if you're going to do it be honest. That way people can make up there own minds.
My profile says I'm looking for a single guy but unfortunately no one ever reads it.
Thats Fab world for you x |
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We find people are very divided on this.
We once tried to organise a separate meet, and we’re immediately told we were fakes as “couples don’t meet separately!” And accused the of being cheats.
We pointed out we had a verified account and veri’s, but were told again we were fakes and blocked  |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
even if you wanted too theres nothing you can do to stop it and if your a swinger privately or clubs / online and you meet for real then you will have 100% met married even if you think you havent ..
my own opinion is i dont judge id rather they be honest but at the end of the day men and WOMEN will lie to get what they want |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We're not fussed either way.
Alice meets guys from AM (a well-known 'discreet' site). Half say they're not married, but obviously probably are.
Why dont they just be honest?,
cannot accommodate usually a bit of a giveaway, there's no way I'd be able to carry it off by saying I'm not attached lol, please pm me this other discreet site
I presume they're not honest because they think it will put her off. "
Precisely why they don't admit to being married, they join think nobody is going to meet ne because I'm married so I'll lie, when in reality there are plenty of the opposite sex looking for exactly the same if they're honest enough to be up front with it |
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"We're not fussed either way.
Alice meets guys from AM (a well-known 'discreet' site). Half say they're not married, but obviously probably are.
Why dont they just be honest?,
cannot accommodate usually a bit of a giveaway, there's no way I'd be able to carry it off by saying I'm not attached lol, please pm me this other discreet site
I presume they're not honest because they think it will put her off.
Precisely why they don't admit to being married, they join think nobody is going to meet ne because I'm married so I'll lie, when in reality there are plenty of the opposite sex looking for exactly the same if they're honest enough to be up front with it "
Well Alice is on a site originally built to enable people tonhave affairs, so she's being more than up front!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"even if you wanted too theres nothing you can do to stop it and if your a swinger privately or clubs / online and you meet for real then you will have 100% met married even if you think you havent ..
my own opinion is i dont judge id rather they be honest but at the end of the day men and WOMEN will lie to get what they want"
This! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
In my experience, you know what you're getting into from the start, just sex, so sub consciously there's much less chance you're going to develop feelings for someone, might sound crass but I'd say majority of attached meets are one offs, you're less likely to develop any feelings in just one meet "
I wouldn't say attached meets are more likely to be one offs, there's people with couples accounts who are both attached elsewhere, yet they meet with each other and others.
But yes far more likely to get feelings from meets that are more than a one of |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering how many couples on here are having affairs and are on here without there real partners knowledge, we’ve met a few "
Fro experience I'd say plenty. Have has couples accounts previously and both times, both of us were attached to someone else. People we met often thought we were a married couple, we never made out we were and was honest if asked, but if not asked didn't advertise the fact.
I'm same on my own profile, ,don't state I attached, however I never deny it if asked. |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
you'll be surprise how many male halfs of swinging couples cheat and no doubt women halfs too..
ive lost count of how many men who are in swinging couples contact me asking for meets without the other half knowing and this is the main reason i dont meet couples online anymore still get it in clubs sometimes too the male half will ask .... anyone can cheat but ive never understood why one half of aq swinger couple would want too ? surely they have it all already |
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"What are your thoughts if their partner doesn’t know? Is it a complete deal breaker or something you can look past for the right person?
Found some are seeking people out that are attached and some want to avoid the drama all together. "
Interesting. .
I can certainly look past it for the right person, given there's trust and honesty (obviously not in their primary relationship).
I don't meet randoms on fab, and those people I do meet, I consider my friends and goes beyond a sexual relationship. If someone is honest and upfront about being attached then I make that decision based on a whole host of other things. If they can't be honest then there's no friendship base there, so I'm not going to fuck them (or fuck them again once that trust is broken).
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Complete deal breaker.
I can’t see any reason it would ever be ok and therefore I’d definitely judge. So don’t put myself or them in that position
Each to their own, I don’t have mad hate for any who do. Just not my preference. All for honesty. |
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