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Is porn ruining relationships?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is porn ruining relationships?
Intimate relationships
Sexual relationships
Losing the ability to see what sex actually is?
Is it a miss-alignment of reality?"
I think for the younger generation it has, they watch some porn and expect sex to be like that, bit like watching soaps on TV as some seem to think Eastenders is real life.
We like porn, sometimes we do the same stuff we have watched and other times we are totally different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is porn ruining relationships?
Intimate relationships
Sexual relationships
Losing the ability to see what sex actually is?
Is it a miss-alignment of reality?"
In some cases yes. People are reduced to sex meat.
For other people the shared porn experience can bring them closer together.  |
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I don't think porn ruins relationships per say. I think porn (depending on the type) can encourage people to explore themselves out with the standard vanilla/missionary.
I think the falseness of porn and more so filters in photos are what creates unrealistic expectations, but mainly in younger generation as mentioned above. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is porn ruining relationships?
Intimate relationships
Sexual relationships
Losing the ability to see what sex actually is?
Is it a miss-alignment of reality?"
It either strengthens people in terms of ideas for sexual development and fantasies or ruins people unrealistic ideas about sex. |
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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago
Maidstone |
"Not for me, porn has been an outlet for fantasies that won’t ever be a reality. Relieves a bit of tension and can help me relax. "
I agree... The only difference is I expect porn star sex and most guys do their best to satisfy me. So it's very much reality I am seeking.
And when he's done a good job, the outcome of relief and relax is the same... Pass over the ciggies love... |
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"It makes me wonder when kids are quite often getting their sex and relationship education from porn with it being so readily accessible. "
Spoke to one of my old primary school teachers a while ago who's still teaching. I asked her if there's a difference between kids now and us back then (same age group).
She said "They know more about sex from porn, it's quite alarming" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is porn ruining relationships?
Intimate relationships
Sexual relationships
Losing the ability to see what sex actually is?
Is it a miss-alignment of reality?"
I don't know if it ruins relationships but you can defo tell when having sex with someone if rhey watch alot of porn |
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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago
Maidstone |
"Porn is bad for young girls as they think thats what they should be doing
Choking to name one"
I'd like to think youngsters are more savvy than I was at their age.
Ask a youngster if they would do "planking"... A few might and die but most will say... "Really? I'm not that stupid!" |
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By *ty31Man
over a year ago
NW London |
I look at porn the way I look at stuff like alcohol and gambling, it causes problems for some and enhances things for others.
I don't think young people (i.e kids) should watch it because it can give them the wrong ideas but for consenting (and sexually mature) adults it can be positive in several ways.
Having said that I do think there are bad elements in the industry who do exploit and take advantage of performers. |
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Despite using this site as a lot of wank material my own view is porn should be brought back or into regulation and a controlled substance.
I got addicted to it and lost a great relationship to my online porn issues.
There is an excellent book called the Porn Trap and if you are in any way concerned about the effects of porn on yourself or society then read it and it will make things so clear to you.
If you are of the opposite view that porn is harmless you will in all liklihood disagree with the book, feel it is a waste of time, space and money and that is your god given right to think so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dunno but feel that many partners compare themselves and their performances, without realising it and forgetting that what we see in porn is just fake 99% of the times. And crap quality sex in general.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Porn can be good! However, I think for the younger generation it gives unrealistic expectations……
Like how fast a plumber will come out to fix a washing machine !! |
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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago
Maidstone |
"If you are of the opposite view that porn is harmless you will in all liklihood disagree with the book, feel it is a waste of time, space and money and that is your god given right to think so."
Thank you for sharing. It is heartfelt because you are genuine.
I'm not saying porn is harmless any more than I say a kitchen knife is... And a lot of people have died of knife crime.
We just need to educate our children that choking can be part of sex... but it needs to be consensual... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think avaliablity has changed, but content hasn't really? I mean I'm 44, and I recall at 16yrs old my boyfriend and myself passing around porn VHS tapes between us, and his mates. It never led to any unrealistic sex expectations, nor did the DVDs that I owned that followed either. Obviously the amount of content online is massive these days, but a lot is on the person viewing too? Kids shouldn't be exposed, parents should exercise Internet controls in a perfect world. And sex has been around since the dawn of time. If anything I think reality TV shows, influencers and all that jazz has a bigger impact? All the young ladies these days look like carbon copies, and strive to be 'perfect'. I think there's worse things to be said about that and the negative contexts it breeds... As for adults? If you're watching too much porn the step away before you end up with literal desensitised issues... But you're an adult so you know?  |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
taunton somerset |
do horrors ruin lives do comic films alter life do comedy ruin lives no p[orn is no different its entertainment it those who think its real that ruin lives not the films themselves ...
so there it is it those that think its real life that ruin it .. it like those who watch swinging porn or cuckold porn then join a site like this and then tell you swinging cuckolding kinks are just like the porn they watched ..... no what you watched was entertainment what happen on here is a lifestyle big difference ....
i think how porn effect young men/boys is a problem because theres no one to tell them fucking a girl up the arse 10 times a day is not the norm
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I recently heard an interview with Olivia Colman who said “my friend said she was at her dining table with her teenagers and said ‘have you watched any of the Fast and Furious films?’ Well would you drive on the roads like that?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Despite using this site as a lot of wank material my own view is porn should be brought back or into regulation and a controlled substance.
I got addicted to it and lost a great relationship to my online porn issues.
There is an excellent book called the Porn Trap and if you are in any way concerned about the effects of porn on yourself or society then read it and it will make things so clear to you.
If you are of the opposite view that porn is harmless you will in all liklihood disagree with the book, feel it is a waste of time, space and money and that is your god given right to think so."
To be fair you're 38yrs old, if you can't moderate your porn habits then that's on you as an adult to seek the appropriate support. Why unless someone is under 18 should it have to be controlled, or moderated? That's like saying booze shouldn't be sold in shops to folk over 18, because someone might be an alcoholic |
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"Just out of interest, how many people here know about Cindy Gallop and MLNP?
https://makelovenotporn.tv/
What's that got to do with anything? "
Well, something or nothing I suppose, depending on your personal perspective.
From mine though the question was whether porn is ruining relationships, and MLNP was created as a response to that question.
I was just curious how well known (or little known) it was as one woman's attempt to create a platform to bring the humanist goodness back to screen based sex content and offer a viable alternative to the porn industry's ability to influence people's ideas of what good sex might consist of.
But I realise you don't appreciate the reference and perhaps it is a bit tangential.
*curtseys* |
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By *iya2311Man
over a year ago
maidstone |
Porn in my view puts too much pressure on young girls
Young boys see stuff and thing thats how to do treat a women!
In my view with a mix of social media too ,
Internet porn is a bad thing with no moderators
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"Porn in my view puts too much pressure on young girls
Young boys see stuff and thing thats how to do treat a women!
In my view with a mix of social media too ,
Internet porn is a bad thing with no moderators
"
How does it put pressure on young girls? It definitely was helpful for me to understand what it is and what my role can be in it. |
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OK, if you don't want to read an academic work like PornTrap then check out Russel Howard's "Lubricant" special on Netflix.
He does an excellent take on how it has affected society and I see he has spoken out a lot about this and I get the impression something has happened in his close circle to make him speak out against it but that's pure speculation.
So let's address other comments here.
Actually I was 27 when I had my addiction along with alcohol. I did get help and am a regular member of AA and SAA, neither which stops me enjoying sex or a drink but I know I have a support network and a framework where I can enjoy those but avoid the very dangerous behaviours they can bring.
As for control yes a Kitchen knife is harmless sitting there but it's potential for harm is regulated through proper age verification checks (see Joe Lycets rant about trying to gift a knife set in a wedding wish list without a credit card). All I meant by regulation is we need a way to keep it from the under 18s (I was going to say those who shouldn't see it but that's a whole different spiel I can't be bothered to type out now) not that we should control porn itself.
I would urge everyone to read PornTrap simple because we are (supposedly) all adults on this website and part of being a responsible adult is listening to arguments which oppose our views without SJW reactions to go "ok, that's how they view it". For example I was raised very strict Catholic but I still enjoy reading the reasoned arguments of Dawkins and Minchin even if they will never convert me or convince me I am wrong (Likewise even though he is CoE I don't take all of Cole's writings as cotrect) |
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By *ew2it.deCouple
over a year ago
Stoke on Trent |
An important factor is what comes first. Porn is so easily accessible to almost anyone who wants to see it that for young people it’s all they know, it becomes a kind of learning tool. If you are sexually experienced in the real world before you delve into the dark side then you are able to see it for what it is. |
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It's not ruined my relationship, but I think my addiction to it has fucked up my sexual relationship.
My wife went off sex with me a long time ago. We've had separate bedrooms for 15 years, hence, I turned to porn. I wank nearly every night to porn.
Now her libido seems to be reawakening, I'm losing my erections with her, but still get hard to porn.
I don't know what to do. |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
"It's not ruined my relationship, but I think my addiction to it has fucked up my sexual relationship.
My wife went off sex with me a long time ago. We've had separate bedrooms for 15 years, hence, I turned to porn. I wank nearly every night to porn.
Now her libido seems to be reawakening, I'm losing my erections with her, but still get hard to porn.
I don't know what to do. "
Watch less porn and spend time with your wife to re-educate yourself so that she turns you on. |
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"It's not ruined my relationship, but I think my addiction to it has fucked up my sexual relationship.
My wife went off sex with me a long time ago. We've had separate bedrooms for 15 years, hence, I turned to porn. I wank nearly every night to porn.
Now her libido seems to be reawakening, I'm losing my erections with her, but still get hard to porn.
I don't know what to do.
Watch less porn and spend time with your wife to re-educate yourself so that she turns you on. "
I'm in the process of this.
She does turn me on, but the anxiety and pressure to please her makes me go limp, and her discouraging words don't help me! |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
"It's not ruined my relationship, but I think my addiction to it has fucked up my sexual relationship.
My wife went off sex with me a long time ago. We've had separate bedrooms for 15 years, hence, I turned to porn. I wank nearly every night to porn.
Now her libido seems to be reawakening, I'm losing my erections with her, but still get hard to porn.
I don't know what to do.
Watch less porn and spend time with your wife to re-educate yourself so that she turns you on.
I'm in the process of this.
She does turn me on, but the anxiety and pressure to please her makes me go limp, and her discouraging words don't help me!"
Sorry to hear this. Maybe some erotic literature would help to set the mood, role play or something. Maybe some counselling. It’s not good if she’s being derogatory. |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
Porn raises the expectations of women as well. Not all guys are as well hung and stay hard for hours. Porn is filmed over many hours and raises expectations of how long sex should last.
And guys, there’s no way I’m getting into some of these positions |
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" I think everything is just so readily available now that it can skewer reality.
I think that's more the issue the more hard core stuff. "
This. I’ve noticed it’s become more common than not that the men I meet are into more “aggressive” sex, thankfully I’m into that (maybe I’m part of the problem?).
But I do worry that it’s desensitising the younger generation, where the expectations are vastly different to reality. I definitely wouldn’t have been open to the kind of sex I am now when I was much younger. |
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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago
Clacton on sea, Essex |
Depends if you are watching or actually making it, me and hubby have gone through our bucket list (fuckit list  ) time and time again and our relationship as stayed strong throughout all our adventures. |
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By *mtasticCouple
over a year ago
Coventry |
It definitely has an impact on the expectations of meets, the infamous squirting as previously mentioned, assumptions that throat fucking and spanking are the norm rather than requiring consent... |
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Are relationships truly affected by porn? If either of you enjoy it then its like football or emmerdale lol
In moderation its just being respectful to your partner. If you don't have trust or respect you have nothing.
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By *essaMayWoman
over a year ago
Fairytale Wood |
I haven'r read all of the comments but there are a few that caught my eye. First of all not dismissing porn as a form of entertainment. Pretty much everything about most porn is fake - from orgasms to ejaculations.
A single scene could take many cuts over hours and even days, adjustments in poses to touching up makeup, unable to maintain an erection o-:. Like film , television or video games it is a fake reality.
The dangers is and getting worse that people get immersed and cannot detach them from the fake reality.
People believe this is real and they feel they have to perform like porn stars, even reading profiles, chatrooms and forums I see people using phrases and expressions lifted directly from porn films.
Even stories and people reciting their "experience" being lifted from porn and made their own.
Just observations from my own experiences over the years. So to answer the OP, in a relationship or potential relationship Porn can enhance or destroy relationships. It is a very thin line and getting thinner. Porn is pushing the bounderies of what is acceptable and what is not and as such worries me that those immersed are pushing boundaries also  |
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" I think everything is just so readily available now that it can skewer reality.
I think that's more the issue the more hard core stuff.
This. I’ve noticed it’s become more common than not that the men I meet are into more “aggressive” sex, thankfully I’m into that (maybe I’m part of the problem?).
But I do worry that it’s desensitising the younger generation, where the expectations are vastly different to reality. I definitely wouldn’t have been open to the kind of sex I am now when I was much younger. "
I think for me it’s a good thing, I’ve learned a lot from porn. And although expectations maybe be higher than if it didn’t exist, I feel good about being able see what men like. |
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Porn has rejuvenated the sexual relationship between me and my wife. She had a tough time during the menopause and the introduction of porn into our relationship has helped to stimulate her libido and start to experiment and enjoy herself again. |
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LOL nah, it's a popular talking point among social conservatives and the more uptight feminist journos but there's never been any solid data showing that porn does any harm other than crimes committed within the industry, which would be committed elsewhere if the industry didn't exist.
Even the concept of "porn addiction" is problematic because analysis shows it's not it's own pathology but rather a symptom of a different psychological issue.
The issues that porn is blamed for are usually a manifestation of another issue. For example is it porn that hurts a relationship or is it a convenient scapegoat for a much broader intimacy problem? Is it porn that teaches young boys to objectify women, or is it just one aspect of a political and media narrative that treats women as commodities and punishes them for having their own agency? Is it porn that reduces the idea of sex to a performative, gynaecological exercise in mindless hedonism, or is it that narrow-minded people think freaky sex is incompatible with love and respect?
Just my 2c. |
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Porn isn’t a misalignment of sex. It’s just not the same as some people’s sex. There’s all kinds of porn out there and it’s not all the same and doesn’t all reflect everyone’s sex but equally, not everyone else’s “normal” sex represents other people’s either.
It’s not ruining relationships. People ruin relationships.
And this is coming from someone who barely watches porn at all because it’s boring compared to the stuff I would rather do with my wife. |
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"
And this is coming from someone who barely watches porn at all because it’s boring compared to the stuff I would rather do with my wife."
This! So I do watch porn, single guy not able to have as much fun as couple would.
But porn is a weird combination of boring but also unrealistic/ not focus on actual pleasure.
It's hard to find actual good swingers/ bi porn
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"Porn isn’t a misalignment of sex. It’s just not the same as some people’s sex. There’s all kinds of porn out there and it’s not all the same and doesn’t all reflect everyone’s sex but equally, not everyone else’s “normal” sex represents other people’s either.
It’s not ruining relationships. People ruin relationships.
And this is coming from someone who barely watches porn at all because it’s boring compared to the stuff I would rather do with my wife."
Your wife is stunning though to be fair.  |
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Is porn ruining relationships? It is when it is and isn't when it isn't.
If you are ignoring your partner in favour of a quick porn solution or comparing them to porn (looks or deeds) it's probably having a negative impact.
If you are using it as ideas for sex play or using it when your partner isn't up for sex probably not.
If you are watching it while playing with each other definitely not!
Chances are if you are fucking up something porn is only a detail of what you are doing wrong. Mostly you are fucking up and porn is involved.
Generally work on your relationship and keep communicating. Blaming porn is like blaming spoons or cake. |
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By *essaMayWoman 51 weeks ago
Fairytale Wood |
If you have had the opportunity to work on a porn set, you will see just how far from reality it really is. Porn films like any other at, cut, edited and glued together.
Depending on the scene it could be filmed access 2-3 days
People say they are not influenced by porn, time after time in the forums and chat, profiles you will get posts, threads or conversations which you can tell have been lifted directly from porn.
Think most of the guys join here are expecting it to just like picking a porn dvd of the shelf. Why soo much anger and frustration.
Most of my experinces, guys, couples, have been influenced by porn. Guys unable to detach themselves from the fakery of porn to the actual reality of adult sex. Just my view |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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I would say so for the younger generation potentially yes. From hearing about expectations and issues in relationships. Its very desensitising and giving a skewed viewpoint of reality. I also feel social media in general is having a big impact.
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By *oxy jWoman 51 weeks ago
taunton somerset |
porn is entertainment just like horror movies or batman spiderman so no it should not ruin relationships
it does have an effect on boys and younf men tho how ever what ruins relationships is not being honest with each other from the start of relationships i cant belive how many couples dont talk about sex its mind boggling and then they wonder why people cheat so no pron not the problem ..people are |
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By *ister_EMan 51 weeks ago
Hayling Island |
I think it can be great for relationships. I encourage couples I meet to each film me pleasuring/using their partner.... Or if I'm only meeting one half of a couple then we film it to send to his or her partner
Making porn is very erotic! |
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"It's not ruined my relationship, but I think my addiction to it has fucked up my sexual relationship.
My wife went off sex with me a long time ago. We've had separate bedrooms for 15 years, hence, I turned to porn. I wank nearly every night to porn.
Now her libido seems to be reawakening, I'm losing my erections with her, but still get hard to porn.
I don't know what to do.
Watch less porn and spend time with your wife to re-educate yourself so that she turns you on. "
 talk and experiment with each other. And just as importantly find out what turns her on as well, porn, sex workers etc seem to be a free ride for men to just sit back and expect the woman to do everything and don’t know how to truly connect and engage.
In reality a lot of women need to feel wanted and needed and not have to be the one doing all the work for little reward other than being finish line, long term it becomes disheartening and confidence shattering and then men wonder why partners start losing interest. |
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"It makes me wonder when kids are quite often getting their sex and relationship education from porn with it being so readily accessible. "
I would like to think Kids are intelligent enough and exposed to enough “fakeness” that they are aware that it’s not real, I watched porn growing up and I was fully aware that it was acting so I don’t see why kids of today would be any different |
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Definitely not as long as they both enjoy fantasizing together that they're doing the favorite things are seen on film to each other and of course in this lifestyle with groups of others both enjoying each other enjoying lots and lots of variety especially in group sex orgy porn |
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"It makes me wonder when kids are quite often getting their sex and relationship education from porn with it being so readily accessible.
I would like to think Kids are intelligent enough and exposed to enough “fakeness” that they are aware that it’s not real, I watched porn growing up and I was fully aware that it was acting so I don’t see why kids of today would be any different "
It's also quite a common complaint that kids are getting all their sex ed from porn.
As opposed to before the Internet when it was from awkward conversations with grown-ups, ridiculous nonsense from their peers, and often nothing at all.
The majority of porn, while not exactly of amazing quality, at least presents sex as a fun, adventurous, positive thing that happens between two or more consenting adults. Even the more questionable narratives are so obviously staged that any kid with half a brain would understand that there's a difference between how-to guides and niche material for special interests.
I watched loads of porn as a kid, including some properly scary stuff, and it didn't turn me into some psycho who tries to fuck everyone in the ass unlubed and cum in their eyeballs while they're sobbing. In fact, for what it's worth, my kink is enthusiastic consent. |
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