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Single men in clubs
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By *archel OP Couple
over a year ago
A field somewhere |
Single men in clubs seem to be getting worse. Zero manners or etiquette, behaving like utter dogs.
Went to one of our favourite clubs last night which was sadly ruined by these clowns behaviour.
A group of them came in, clearly chancers. Made zero effort to socialise with anyone but each other in the bar area, then proceeded to approach couples in the playrooms asking if they could join in.
We were followed around and repeatedly approached by them. Totally killing our vibe. A single lady there was groped by one of them as she walked around the play area too. This shit is totally unacceptable.
Rant over
Mrs M |
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That's really not good. I hope the one who was groped told the management about that particular guy. Guess in large part depends on the club and how they managed the numbers and the behaviour.
Guess this is why many couples prefer couples only nights or nights where number men is strictly limited.
Also a rejoinder to the regular advice to tell new people to go to clubs. Sometimes much easier to control doing things privately. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tbh as a single guy it absolutely ruins any chance the decent a genuine guys have of maybe having some fun
I left a club event not so long ago as the single guys there were just walking round in little groups and as I was on my own I felt a overwhelmed and thought to myself I've got no chance of having any fun as they would just all push in front of you and get up and personal with the couples having fun, I suppose it didn't help the the single guy to single women and couples ratio was just mad
I'll go to another club but definitely not any time soon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Single men in clubs seem to be getting worse. Zero manners or etiquette, behaving like utter dogs.
Went to one of our favourite clubs last night which was sadly ruined by these clowns behaviour.
A group of them came in, clearly chancers. Made zero effort to socialise with anyone but each other in the bar area, then proceeded to approach couples in the playrooms asking if they could join in.
We were followed around and repeatedly approached by them. Totally killing our vibe. A single lady there was groped by one of them as she walked around the play area too. This shit is totally unacceptable.
Rant over
Mrs M"
Did you educate them on how to behave in a club? Swinger porn shows everyone fucking in a pile. How are they supposed to know the rules if no-one tells them?
Did you complain to the club? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's a real shame, I love single guys in clubs obviously not all haha but it's things like this that make is hard for the polite, respectful ones.
Hopefully you complained to the club and it was sorted as that's unacceptable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess if couples vote with their feet, and let the club know, that will force these places to educate single males on rules and etiquette, and control numbers! |
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By *archel OP Couple
over a year ago
A field somewhere |
"
Did you educate them on how to behave in a club? Swinger porn shows everyone fucking in a pile. How are they supposed to know the rules if no-one tells them?
Did you complain to the club? "
Did we educate them? Really? Is it really the job of patrons to educate other patrons other than telling them to fuck off? (Yes, those words were used?
It's the role of the club, during signing up for membership, to tell them club etiquette, it's all over every club website and on the forms they sign when they sign their membership.
No, we didn't tell the club, but will be doing on our next visit (the staff were very busy last night).
As for the single girl who was groped, the guy was told in no uncertain terms by her what he did wrong, if she had felt threatened or upset by it then she would have told the club. |
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By *archel OP Couple
over a year ago
A field somewhere |
"That's a real shame, I love single guys in clubs obviously not all haha but it's things like this that make is hard for the polite, respectful ones.
Hopefully you complained to the club and it was sorted as that's unacceptable. "
The single guys we usually see there are generally well versed in club etiquette, and we're happy for them to watch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hope that this didn't happen to you at Chameleons (Darlaston).
On rare occasions this has happened to us at Chameleons (Darlaston).
When the staff have been alerted to it, they have acted quickly and had the offenders thrown out - no warning and no messing whatsoever!!!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Did you educate them on how to behave in a club? Swinger porn shows everyone fucking in a pile. How are they supposed to know the rules if no-one tells them?
Did you complain to the club?
Did we educate them? Really? Is it really the job of patrons to educate other patrons other than telling them to fuck off? (Yes, those words were used?
It's the role of the club, during signing up for membership, to tell them club etiquette, it's all over every club website and on the forms they sign when they sign their membership.
No, we didn't tell the club, but will be doing on our next visit (the staff were very busy last night).
As for the single girl who was groped, the guy was told in no uncertain terms by her what he did wrong, if she had felt threatened or upset by it then she would have told the club."
If you didn't bother telling the club then how can they know who they need to speak to or kick out?
Clearly you weren't that bothered or just too busy fucking.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've abandoned a very popular Manchester club due to asshole single guys who get let in as a group, get wasted and then barge into rooms, stink of BO and last time sexually assaulted Penny outside whilst we were waiting for a taxi. We now avoid any club that let's groups of male friends in. It's a real shame as 90% of single males are brilliant, the 10% fuck it for all of them though. One asshole in a club and we will shut down all single guys and just look for couples. |
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I think there should be an induction for single mens as well as couples for a club, it should consist of say 30 mins it should teach you things that are allowed inside and what are not helps shifting the expectation as well as enhances experience for both couples and singles!
Other than that this was a teribble thing that you stated above and they should be barred from club ! |
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By *9funboyMan
over a year ago
Harrogate |
Spot on. I've only been to a club once, and that's exactly what happened, at Club Play Blackpool. As I was shown round with another first time couple. We got a run down of the etiquette and rules. I had a great evening. Fun socialising and a little play too, luckily. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We've abandoned a very popular Manchester club due to asshole single guys who get let in as a group, get wasted and then barge into rooms, stink of BO and last time sexually assaulted Penny outside whilst we were waiting for a taxi. We now avoid any club that let's groups of male friends in. It's a real shame as 90% of single males are brilliant, the 10% fuck it for all of them though. One asshole in a club and we will shut down all single guys and just look for couples."
This is exactly my point, the minority absolutely ruin it for us decent guys
Club organisers and the staff need to be a little more cautious who they allow in,personally I don't think groups of single guys should be allowed in
It used to be like that years ago in night clubs, the door staff wouldn't allow it
Just my opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunately this in not uncommon.
I recently went to one club where a single man decided to suck on my toes and wanked whilst I was playing. I told at him to get off me and reported it to the staff. The response from the club was horrific. Their response was, "we'll talk to him, but next time be more assertive and tell him you'll report it to security" but he was able to carry on walking around wanking and touching other people. There was no security and I do believe telling someone to "get off" counts as assertive.
But response like this from some clubs, teaches some men that non-consentual touching is not a big deal and that they can get away with it. It's behaviour they will take into club after club and see if they can get a grope or a feel.
There does also seem to be this mentality that if someone is on the scene, they'll fuck anyone, they're easy or getting consent is on the back burner. What's even more unfortunate, is that many clubs make much of their income from single men so are reluctant to take a pragmatic, zero tolerance stance of boundary crossings, as they'll lose money.
It is definitely up to party and club organisers to prioritise consent, limit harassment and deliver the consequences for not abiding by it without exception. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately this in not uncommon.
I recently went to one club where a single man decided to suck on my toes and wanked whilst I was playing. I told at him to get off me and reported it to the staff. The response from the club was horrific. Their response was, "we'll talk to him, but next time be more assertive and tell him you'll report it to security" but he was able to carry on walking around wanking and touching other people. There was no security and I do believe telling someone to "get off" counts as assertive.
But response like this from some clubs, teaches some men that non-consentual touching is not a big deal and that they can get away with it. It's behaviour they will take into club after club and see if they can get a grope or a feel.
There does also seem to be this mentality that if someone is on the scene, they'll fuck anyone, they're easy or getting consent is on the back burner. What's even more unfortunate, is that many clubs make much of their income from single men so are reluctant to take a pragmatic, zero tolerance stance of boundary crossings, as they'll lose money.
It is definitely up to party and club organisers to prioritise consent, limit harassment and deliver the consequences for not abiding by it without exception. "
Definitely my point because they make a lot more money from single guys going into clubs they definitely seem to be reluctant to keep the numbers down and make the numbers more equal |
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"I think there should be an induction for single mens as well as couples for a club, it should consist of say 30 mins it should teach you things that are allowed inside and what are not helps shifting the expectation as well as enhances experience for both couples and singles!
Other than that this was a teribble thing that you stated above and they should be barred from club !"
Agree on the induction. But it really needs to be hammered into them. They wouldn't like it if it happened to one of their male/female relatives / closest pals - So no reason they should do it to strangers.
As said above - It just taints us "single males" even more.
There's been occasions in Chams when I've noticed this behaviour (hassling couples mid-act) and called it out directly to them. They either look shameful about it or give you a look as if they want a fight. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately this in not uncommon.
I recently went to one club where a single man decided to suck on my toes and wanked whilst I was playing. I told at him to get off me and reported it to the staff. The response from the club was horrific. Their response was, "we'll talk to him, but next time be more assertive and tell him you'll report it to security" but he was able to carry on walking around wanking and touching other people. There was no security and I do believe telling someone to "get off" counts as assertive.
But response like this from some clubs, teaches some men that non-consentual touching is not a big deal and that they can get away with it. It's behaviour they will take into club after club and see if they can get a grope or a feel.
There does also seem to be this mentality that if someone is on the scene, they'll fuck anyone, they're easy or getting consent is on the back burner. What's even more unfortunate, is that many clubs make much of their income from single men so are reluctant to take a pragmatic, zero tolerance stance of boundary crossings, as they'll lose money.
It is definitely up to party and club organisers to prioritise consent, limit harassment and deliver the consequences for not abiding by it without exception. "
We went to a club where the guy on the door was telling men they would definitely get a fuck that night..! Never went there again.
Some clubs allow it. Men pay ££££.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That’s disgusting! We go to clubs so I can feel safer, past history.
I’d have told them to do more the eff off!! How dare they touch someone without their consent!!
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We used to go to club nights were single guys were allowed but it became they were outnumbering couples so we changed to couple only events as we had problems with guys in groups |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately this in not uncommon.
I recently went to one club where a single man decided to suck on my toes and wanked whilst I was playing. I told at him to get off me and reported it to the staff. The response from the club was horrific. Their response was, "we'll talk to him, but next time be more assertive and tell him you'll report it to security" but he was able to carry on walking around wanking and touching other people. There was no security and I do believe telling someone to "get off" counts as assertive.
But response like this from some clubs, teaches some men that non-consentual touching is not a big deal and that they can get away with it. It's behaviour they will take into club after club and see if they can get a grope or a feel.
There does also seem to be this mentality that if someone is on the scene, they'll fuck anyone, they're easy or getting consent is on the back burner. What's even more unfortunate, is that many clubs make much of their income from single men so are reluctant to take a pragmatic, zero tolerance stance of boundary crossings, as they'll lose money.
It is definitely up to party and club organisers to prioritise consent, limit harassment and deliver the consequences for not abiding by it without exception.
Definitely my point because they make a lot more money from single guys going into clubs they definitely seem to be reluctant to keep the numbers down and make the numbers more equal "
It's also noteworthy to say that as a collective, single men pose the biggest risk to the women's safety at clubs (not all, but the majority of times) and pose the biggest risk to the club's reputation and thus are charged more. If there wasn't such large instances of men crossing boundaries and basically being arseholes then more women would go to clubs and it would be more equal.
There will always be a struggle to get equal amount of men and women. To get women in the door, be safe and comfortable is a tall order with the way that some men behave. Some clubs wouldn't survive financially if they routinely limited the amount of men, in the hopes that more women will attend.
And yes, the gendered pricing does ruin it for the guys that are respectful, but I would rather that, than pay the same price as a man, be groped and touched without my consent or be made to feel uncomfortable. Which does happen frequently.
In my opinion, having to pay the extra should be an incentive for all men to tread carefully, lest they get kicked out and lose upwards of £50 for behaving like an entitled arse. But if they do behave like an arse, they should be kicked out and banned with no refund. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do hear the points made above about single males being cash cows for clubs. But surely women drive this also. What's the point of a club wanting to keep their single males when all the women/couples stay away because its such a pest night?
I would have thought if a club is full of females the single males will be happy with almost any fee within reason! It's the fems who are the draw for the club? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do hear the points made above about single males being cash cows for clubs. But surely women drive this also. What's the point of a club wanting to keep their single males when all the women/couples stay away because its such a pest night?
I would have thought if a club is full of females the single males will be happy with almost any fee within reason! It's the fems who are the draw for the club?"
They'll be a few obviously, but not nearly enough to make it equal. Hence the need for cash cows.
Of course the single women are the draw. The possibility of sex in and of itself is the draw. One only has to look at Fab. That why many places let women in for a much reduced rate if not free, to drive attendance from single women. But this may mean that financially, men are the commodity, not the women.
I for one would not pay the same price as a male ticket to be groped and followed around by single men. I would only pay the same as a single man if there is strict vetting and filtering process, security and a zero- tolerance on harassment.
But we live in a world where bills have to be paid so getting money is the priority. I'm sure men would pay ££££ to get in to clubs that were teaming with single women. But that's not going to happen unless club owners and party organisers take a serious stance on safety, etiquette and consent.
From what I've seen, some clubs do not want to do this because lose the commodity bringing in the money while they work on attracting single females. A very difficult task as it only takes one bad experience.
I do feel like it's a vicious cycle. Men turn up expecting or feeling entitled to sex. They behave like a dick, so women are reluctant to or anxious about attending so the men are charged more to make up for the fewer women (I wouldn't say none). So because they've paid more, they may feel more entitled. Clubs want money and the easiest way to get it is through guys.
It boils down to men behaving better- not all of course but many. Until then the scene- fab and clubs will be harder and more expensive.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have been put off Club nights where single men are allowed , too many walking round with their grey trakys on , hands down the front staring awkwardly at me . Never again |
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Wasn't just wrong to grope, but also illegal I would think.
Did you educate them on how to behave in a club? Swinger porn shows everyone fucking in a pile. How are they supposed to know the rules if no-one tells them?
Did you complain to the club?
Did we educate them? Really? Is it really the job of patrons to educate other patrons other than telling them to fuck off? (Yes, those words were used?
It's the role of the club, during signing up for membership, to tell them club etiquette, it's all over every club website and on the forms they sign when they sign their membership.
No, we didn't tell the club, but will be doing on our next visit (the staff were very busy last night).
As for the single girl who was groped, the guy was told in no uncertain terms by her what he did wrong, if she had felt threatened or upset by it then she would have told the club."
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"In my opinion, having to pay the extra should be an incentive for all men to tread carefully, lest they get kicked out and lose upwards of £50 for behaving like an entitled arse. "
I think it actually does the opposite because it fosters the mind set of "Well I paid a lot to get in so I'm going to get some action regardless!"
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"Unfortunately due to the interruptions we didn't get to have sex...after the 4th time they interrupted, we got dressed and left
 "
That's really shit, I'm sorry.
Why can't people do nice things without being spoiled by others? Not just in this instance, but in other aspects of life.
Selfish, disrespectful arseholes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my opinion, having to pay the extra should be an incentive for all men to tread carefully, lest they get kicked out and lose upwards of £50 for behaving like an entitled arse.
I think it actually does the opposite because it fosters the mind set of "Well I paid a lot to get in so I'm going to get some action regardless!"
"
It does, I said that. So clubs need to remove and ban without exception as a consequence. So it becomes a loss of money when the behave illegally rather than an extra layer of entitlement that many already possess. |
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"In my opinion, having to pay the extra should be an incentive for all men to tread carefully, lest they get kicked out and lose upwards of £50 for behaving like an entitled arse.
I think it actually does the opposite because it fosters the mind set of "Well I paid a lot to get in so I'm going to get some action regardless!"
It does, I said that. So clubs need to remove and ban without exception as a consequence. So it becomes a loss of money when the behave illegally rather than an extra layer of entitlement that many already possess."
100% - Straight ban and ideal if clubs work together (if they don't already) to reference individuals to other clubs in neighbouring areas. A little bit like Pubwatch if you will. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my opinion, having to pay the extra should be an incentive for all men to tread carefully, lest they get kicked out and lose upwards of £50 for behaving like an entitled arse.
I think it actually does the opposite because it fosters the mind set of "Well I paid a lot to get in so I'm going to get some action regardless!"
It does, I said that. So clubs need to remove and ban without exception as a consequence. So it becomes a loss of money when the behave illegally rather than an extra layer of entitlement that many already possess.
100% - Straight ban and ideal if clubs work together (if they don't already) to reference individuals to other clubs in neighbouring areas. A little bit like Pubwatch if you will."
Ohhh yes! Great idea. I don't think they do. But make it harder for them in the scene. Eradicate the problem men and leave breathing room for the ones that want to enjoy their sexuality in a respectful, sexy setting free from the creeps, harassment and narcissistic behaviour! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my opinion, having to pay the extra should be an incentive for all men to tread carefully, lest they get kicked out and lose upwards of £50 for behaving like an entitled arse.
I think it actually does the opposite because it fosters the mind set of "Well I paid a lot to get in so I'm going to get some action regardless!"
It does, I said that. So clubs need to remove and ban without exception as a consequence. So it becomes a loss of money when the behave illegally rather than an extra layer of entitlement that many already possess.
100% - Straight ban and ideal if clubs work together (if they don't already) to reference individuals to other clubs in neighbouring areas. A little bit like Pubwatch if you will.
Ohhh yes! Great idea. I don't think they do. But make it harder for them in the scene. Eradicate the problem men and leave breathing room for the ones that want to enjoy their sexuality in a respectful, sexy setting free from the creeps, harassment and narcissistic behaviour! "
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"In my opinion, having to pay the extra should be an incentive for all men to tread carefully, lest they get kicked out and lose upwards of £50 for behaving like an entitled arse.
I think it actually does the opposite because it fosters the mind set of "Well I paid a lot to get in so I'm going to get some action regardless!"
It does, I said that. So clubs need to remove and ban without exception as a consequence. So it becomes a loss of money when the behave illegally rather than an extra layer of entitlement that many already possess.
100% - Straight ban and ideal if clubs work together (if they don't already) to reference individuals to other clubs in neighbouring areas. A little bit like Pubwatch if you will."
This kind of happens in the kink scene as event organisers talk to each other and share information. |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
taunton somerset |
"Tbh as a single guy it absolutely ruins any chance the decent a genuine guys have of maybe having some fun
I left a club event not so long ago as the single guys there were just walking round in little groups and as I was on my own I felt a overwhelmed and thought to myself I've got no chance of having any fun as they would just all push in front of you and get up and personal with the couples having fun, I suppose it didn't help the the single guy to single women and couples ratio was just mad
I'll go to another club but definitely not any time soon "
people ruin it for themselves not others alot of guy seem to hide behind that ''oh they ruin it for us gen guys'' nope they dont if your getting nowhere thats down to you not the ''bad'' guys |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
taunton somerset |
also got to say if a guy gropes me with no concent then he better be prepared for the outcome because its sexual assault and they better believe ill take it further ... they do it as they belive they will get away with it but more and more women are standing firm now and saying no more ... last one who tried groping me ended up me nearly breaking his arm and as i said to him hes so lucky because i would have got the police involved ..the club management were excellent and he was banned for life ...
just because we are swingers and have a very open sexual mind does not mean we are free meat for anyone or everyone .... and lets be very clear here its not just men who grope some women who seem to think that because they are women the same laws dont apply.... swinging is built on consent no consent then you deserve everything coming your way |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
taunton somerset |
"I do hear the points made above about single males being cash cows for clubs. But surely women drive this also. What's the point of a club wanting to keep their single males when all the women/couples stay away because its such a pest night?
I would have thought if a club is full of females the single males will be happy with almost any fee within reason! It's the fems who are the draw for the club?"
it not ..the ones that keep the clubs open are the couples not the women and not the men the main cash cows are the couples take the couples away and the club scene collapse's same with fab or any other swinging site ...take the couples out of the scene and you have no scene ...
ive never agreed with women being free and never agreed with men paying so much it should be equal and i dont belive the cap on guys should be so small ... i think if there were more men then the behaviour may change i think those guys who are pest get banned for life and same goes for women and couples who are pest .... i find amongst friends that word of mouth keeps the pest at bay its the same on here you cant name n shame but you can tell others who the assholes are it works |
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I think alot of clubs do try to control the situation, because at the end of the day they will loose couples and single ladies.
In a way it's a kind of flattery if you attract alot of attention. It just needs to be the right kind and polite.
I tend to just make it clear if someones being out of line I'm not playing with them. The club should lay down some ground rules but there's always some one out to be a jerk regardless.
Hopefully you get to visit clubs again in the future. |
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This thread is an Interesting read, and only further enforces why I have never, and will never go to a club. Firsty, I find it a disgrace that single blokes are used as cash cows and basically ripped off with enterence fees to get in clubs , and I wont let myself be mugged off.At the end of the day, everyone is entering the SAME club, gaining access to the same facilities, yet single blokes are charged a lot more for the access to said facilities. You don't have different prices for men and women /couples to get in a nightclub.
Secondly, i cannot fathom why single blokes would pay a fortune to enter a club, when the chances are there are more men than couples and single women and it would just be a lonely night stood alone at the bar on my own having a couple of beers. I can do that in my local Boozer without having to pay through the nose to get in. |
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Over the years of attending clubs guys like stalkers have always been an issue. No manners, no etiquette nor respect. Me personally I never play with anyone random like that . But I have saw many times some women allow these men to just jump on. Whether they are too afraid to say no or feel they that's what they are meant to do I have no idea...More women should get tough on these stalkers. I have no hesitation in telling any guy who has not been invited to do one. |
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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago
Sheffield |
"This thread is an Interesting read, and only further enforces why I have never, and will never go to a club. Firsty, I find it a disgrace that single blokes are used as cash cows and basically ripped off with enterence fees to get in clubs , and I wont let myself be mugged off.At the end of the day, everyone is entering the SAME club, gaining access to the same facilities, yet single blokes are charged a lot more for the access to said facilities. You don't have different prices for men and women /couples to get in a nightclub.
Secondly, i cannot fathom why single blokes would pay a fortune to enter a club, when the chances are there are more men than couples and single women and it would just be a lonely night stood alone at the bar on my own having a couple of beers. I can do that in my local Boozer without having to pay through the nose to get in. "
It's theses reasons plus the behaviour of certain single guys which stopped me going . Its crazy behaviour and I would end up sat quietly watching with mild amusement.
Makes me laugh on the "why can't I get a meet " threads from single guys . Clubs are always listed as the place to go .. Its really not. |
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We enjoy clubs, but when ever we play in a open area I always have one eye on mrs when we both playing with others.
Single males are always chancers it costs a lot for them to get into most clubs and they expect to get something  . Agree that there should be some kind of induction on behaviour & etiquette for them when joining / entering club, at end of the day their understanding is from porn. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I will let you know what VA is like tomorrow. Im off there as a couple with a friend. But i wont ever leave her with a single man unless we both know him well. |
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Was in a club at a party on Sunday and best thing was that the club was staffed so well. Men and women (monitors) walking around (with glow sticks so you’ll know them) to make sure all is well, everyone heeding the etiquette, and where necessary to remind or remove. |
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"This thread is an Interesting read, and only further enforces why I have never, and will never go to a club. Firsty, I find it a disgrace that single blokes are used as cash cows and basically ripped off with enterence fees to get in clubs , and I wont let myself be mugged off.At the end of the day, everyone is entering the SAME club, gaining access to the same facilities, yet single blokes are charged a lot more for the access to said facilities. You don't have different prices for men and women /couples to get in a nightclub.
Secondly, i cannot fathom why single blokes would pay a fortune to enter a club, when the chances are there are more men than couples and single women and it would just be a lonely night stood alone at the bar on my own having a couple of beers. I can do that in my local Boozer without having to pay through the nose to get in.
It's theses reasons plus the behaviour of certain single guys which stopped me going . Its crazy behaviour and I would end up sat quietly watching with mild amusement.
Makes me laugh on the "why can't I get a meet " threads from single guys . Clubs are always listed as the place to go .. Its really not."
You seem to have had plenty of success without going to clubs mate. I'd love to know your secret. |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
taunton somerset |
and lets not forget the behaviour of some of the male halfs of couples who think they are untouchable as they are part of a couple .. i get more problems with these guys than single men talk about feeling entitled but they only ever act different when the mrs aint around funny that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So this is going to read arrogant and big headed. But I don't care. I was toying with the idea of visiting a club. There's one less than an hour away from me. But the objectification on here is too much for me sometimes. So for now, this single male, is out! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some couples have a bad attitude and will snub single men. There is definitely some bias and snobbery there. So it’s no wonder they socialise with one another. |
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" Single men in clubs seem to be getting worse. Zero manners or etiquette, behaving like utter dogs.
Went to one of our favourite clubs last night which was sadly ruined by these clowns behaviour.
A group of them came in, clearly chancers. Made zero effort to socialise with anyone but each other in the bar area, then proceeded to approach couples in the playrooms asking if they could join in.
We were followed around and repeatedly approached by them. Totally killing our vibe. A single lady there was groped by one of them as she walked around the play area too. This shit is totally unacceptable.
Rant over
Mrs M"
At The Attic there's CCTV in all the communal hallways (not sure if any other club's do?), any inappropriate behaviour and they would be removed from the club. There's loads of lockable rooms, once that bolt goes on no-ones getting in. Unfortunately some Men think it's a sex club, the Women are "easy" and they'll get some fun, many go home disappointed. The smart ones introduce themselves and get chatting, they may get knocked back or they may get lucky, chat to enough people and you never know. Many Men are very successful in clubs, they know how to behave but have a bit of balls about them. We never have any issues with single guys, but we've learnt to be savvy which includes sticking together. We've gone into rooms for fun with guys, but we've locked the door and it's just the three of us  |
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By *ockDuoCouple
over a year ago
Essex / Oxford |
Single guys need to approach ladies and couples and strike up a conversation with them.
So many guys sit opposite and flash themselves at me, I’m afraid that isn’t going to get me wanting him to join in any fun.
When a single guy says the groups is just going to push in front of him, that wouldn’t happen if you’ve established a rapport with the couple.
I agree the group of guys should not be behaving that way and need to follow the etiquette. But guys need to make an effort to chat to people. |
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"Single guys need to approach ladies and couples and strike up a conversation with them.
So many guys sit opposite and flash themselves at me, I’m afraid that isn’t going to get me wanting him to join in any fun.
When a single guy says the groups is just going to push in front of him, that wouldn’t happen if you’ve established a rapport with the couple.
I agree the group of guys should not be behaving that way and need to follow the etiquette. But guys need to make an effort to chat to people."
Personally, I never get problems in clubs. I'm a chatterbox and love to flirt |
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As a single woman I go to clubs to meet single men and have done for years. Personally never had any issues with single men myself. Yes there are some guys that maybe need educating and maybe need to chill a little and not be so full on. But I’d never let it spoil my night. |
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We’ve been to a fair few clubs and the one that seems to have the balance spot on is Purple Mamba in Nottingham. It’s only a small club but they turn away more guys than they allow in on any given night. On the occasions that we’ve been this has meant that the guys who are in are respectful and generally nice guys. They know that if they step out of line that they will never be allowed back. We like single guys but have also had one or two situations which have put us off going to certain clubs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I go to Chams Darlaston regularly and have never had an issue with single guys.
I have seen someone report an issue, the guy was promptly tracked down and booted out.
I think the numbers are really well balanced too. The only exception to this is perhaps when a large guest list is put up, but I tend to avoid those nights, so...
Actually, I've found the worst offenders in clubs when it comes to crossing the line is middle aged women who have had too much to drink |
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By *omtom7Man
over a year ago
Tralee |
"I go to Chams Darlaston regularly and have never had an issue with single guys.
I have seen someone report an issue, the guy was promptly tracked down and booted out.
I think the numbers are really well balanced too. The only exception to this is perhaps when a large guest list is put up, but I tend to avoid those nights, so...
Actually, I've found the worst offenders in clubs when it comes to crossing the line is middle aged women who have had too much to drink "
D*unken middle aged women are always a big favourite of mine  |
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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago
Bognor Regis |
" Single men in clubs seem to be getting worse. Zero manners or etiquette, behaving like utter dogs.
Went to one of our favourite clubs last night which was sadly ruined by these clowns behaviour.
A group of them came in, clearly chancers. Made zero effort to socialise with anyone but each other in the bar area, then proceeded to approach couples in the playrooms asking if they could join in.
We were followed around and repeatedly approached by them. Totally killing our vibe. A single lady there was groped by one of them as she walked around the play area too. This shit is totally unacceptable.
Rant over
Mrs M
Did you educate them on how to behave in a club? Swinger porn shows everyone fucking in a pile. How are they supposed to know the rules if no-one tells them?
Did you complain to the club? "
Surely everyone attending clubs are given the rules?
I wouldn't want to start an argument with anyone under those circumstances- Surely that's what clubs employ staff for?? |
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As a couple I see "some" single guys as useful for the scene, we both like the company of an extra man from time to time. I think the clubs mostly have the right policy, but offenders need to be publicly shown the door to reassure patrons and act as a warning to the others. |
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We've only ever had one bad experience in a club, we reported it. Thaught all was good. On way back upstairs the same guy decided it was OK to "help" Claire back up stair via her ass. After he was knocked back every step back down the stairs, WE were asked to leave. Never been back mr |
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"So this is going to read arrogant and big headed. But I don't care. I was toying with the idea of visiting a club. There's one less than an hour away from me. But the objectification on here is too much for me sometimes. So for now, this single male, is out!"
I wouldn't let it stop you. Large chunk of the people there won't even be on Fab and of those that are most won't be on Forum. It's a good place to discuss but necessarily representative of real life swinging. Give it a go and you might well have a blast. |
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"Some couples have a bad attitude and will snub single men. There is definitely some bias and snobbery there. So it’s no wonder they socialise with one another."
It not bias and snobbery but lots of couples just aren't interested in single men! They want to play with other couples which is their choice. They don't owe single men anything. |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"
Did you educate them on how to behave in a club? Swinger porn shows everyone fucking in a pile. How are they supposed to know the rules if no-one tells them?
Did you complain to the club?
Did we educate them? Really? Is it really the job of patrons to educate other patrons other than telling them to fuck off? (Yes, those words were used?
It's the role of the club, during signing up for membership, to tell them club etiquette, it's all over every club website and on the forms they sign when they sign their membership.
No, we didn't tell the club, but will be doing on our next visit (the staff were very busy last night).
As for the single girl who was groped, the guy was told in no uncertain terms by her what he did wrong, if she had felt threatened or upset by it then she would have told the club."
A decent club will always have a chat with those attending for the first time, but sadly some don't listen or think they are above it. If customers don't report issues though there is no way they can be dealt with as the staff won't know |
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"I wonder what proportion of people on Fab have actually been to a Club?"
Very low I would think. Less than 10% for couples and less than 5% for singles. Even less for private/house parties and organised socials. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"and lets not forget the behaviour of some of the male halfs of couples who think they are untouchable as they are part of a couple .. i get more problems with these guys than single men talk about feeling entitled but they only ever act different when the mrs aint around funny that "
|
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"and lets not forget the behaviour of some of the male halfs of couples who think they are untouchable as they are part of a couple .. i get more problems with these guys than single men talk about feeling entitled but they only ever act different when the mrs aint around funny that "
Women can be just as bad. Seen a few groping guys cos they think they can get away with it. You get good and bad in all mixes ve it ladies, men or cpls. Not all should be tard with the same brush. |
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"Some couples have a bad attitude and will snub single men. There is definitely some bias and snobbery there. So it’s no wonder they socialise with one another.
It not bias and snobbery but lots of couples just aren't interested in single men! They want to play with other couples which is their choice. They don't owe single men anything. "
Well said. Nobody owes anyone a thing in the swinging community. We met some truely amazing guts and played with a few. The respect they treated Joanne with when they played with her was top notch to be fair. Not all single men are evil twats. But it's the dew who fuck it up for the rest unfortunately. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some couples have a bad attitude and will snub single men. There is definitely some bias and snobbery there. So it’s no wonder they socialise with one another.
It not bias and snobbery but lots of couples just aren't interested in single men! They want to play with other couples which is their choice. They don't owe single men anything.
Well said. Nobody owes anyone a thing in the swinging community. We met some truely amazing guts and played with a few. The respect they treated Joanne with when they played with her was top notch to be fair. Not all single men are evil twats. But it's the dew who fuck it up for the rest unfortunately. "
 |
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The club is at fault just as much as the single guys. Ones we choose to go back to have staff walking around all night to make sure this kind of thing doesn’t happen.
It’s a great deterrent and most people with a free for all attitude never make it past the front door. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We have had to leave one club because we were followed everywhere by several single men and refuse to go back to that club. It was not a good feeling.
Having said that we were also hassled by a couple who we said no to so it is not just men.
Now we tend to go to the same club we trust on single women and couples nights.
It is a pity really as it has stopped us meeting genuine single men and stopped many couples meeting them. |
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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago
Sheffield |
"This thread is an Interesting read, and only further enforces why I have never, and will never go to a club. Firsty, I find it a disgrace that single blokes are used as cash cows and basically ripped off with enterence fees to get in clubs , and I wont let myself be mugged off.At the end of the day, everyone is entering the SAME club, gaining access to the same facilities, yet single blokes are charged a lot more for the access to said facilities. You don't have different prices for men and women /couples to get in a nightclub.
Secondly, i cannot fathom why single blokes would pay a fortune to enter a club, when the chances are there are more men than couples and single women and it would just be a lonely night stood alone at the bar on my own having a couple of beers. I can do that in my local Boozer without having to pay through the nose to get in.
It's theses reasons plus the behaviour of certain single guys which stopped me going . Its crazy behaviour and I would end up sat quietly watching with mild amusement.
Makes me laugh on the "why can't I get a meet " threads from single guys . Clubs are always listed as the place to go .. Its really not.
You seem to have had plenty of success without going to clubs mate. I'd love to know your secret. "
I had plenty of meets precovid. It's recently that fab has really nosedive. Endless chatting but then ghosting after meet arranged. It's not like I don't know how it works, but recently it seems people are just getting off on the fantasy and have no intention of meeting. |
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I've only been to a club once was clearly told the do's and don'ts upon arrival. Some people clearly just feel they are above the rules and they don't apply to them it's a shame really as they don't seem to care that they are ruining other people's experiences. |
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"Having previously attended clubs with a partner, I used to hate the way single guys behaved.
It's the number 1 reason I now don't go to clubs as a single guy"
I visited a NE club VERY recently, and was put off by other single guys while I was there. I took myself for a relax in the hottub, and chatted to a couple of guys who were also in there. One of them happy to state "I've basically had every woman in this club", the other saying "I need something tonight, I'm not leaving without having some kind of play", and all the while, other single guys popping their heads around the corner, then leaving because there were no ladies in the tub....... it made me feel quite low to be a single guy, if these were representative of regular club users.....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As a couple that havnt gone to a club , but have thought about it, that would be our worst nightmare. We’d probably only go if it was a couples only night |
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" Single men in clubs seem to be getting worse. Zero manners or etiquette, behaving like utter dogs.
Went to one of our favourite clubs last night which was sadly ruined by these clowns behaviour.
A group of them came in, clearly chancers. Made zero effort to socialise with anyone but each other in the bar area, then proceeded to approach couples in the playrooms asking if they could join in.
We were followed around and repeatedly approached by them. Totally killing our vibe. A single lady there was groped by one of them as she walked around the play area too. This shit is totally unacceptable.
Rant over
Mrs M"
Last time i was in a club admittedly it was few years ago - i was amazed at the number
Of wanking zombies dotted Round the place… an attractive woman and her partner were playing and they were surrounded by guys just wanking … they kept having to say back up an no touching - eventually they got up and walked away leaving a wanking zombie circle!! Guys seem to think that because they have paid an entrance fee that entitles them to playing…. Whatever happened to the social, connection aspect. Its not all guys and i saw someone earlier mention it does affect decent guys chances of playing because these arseholes kill the sexy fun vibe. |
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By *rnypairCouple
over a year ago
south Yorkshire |
"This thread is an Interesting read, and only further enforces why I have never, and will never go to a club. Firsty, I find it a disgrace that single blokes are used as cash cows and basically ripped off with enterence fees to get in clubs , and I wont let myself be mugged off.At the end of the day, everyone is entering the SAME club, gaining access to the same facilities, yet single blokes are charged a lot more for the access to said facilities. You don't have different prices for men and women /couples to get in a nightclub.
Secondly, i cannot fathom why single blokes would pay a fortune to enter a club, when the chances are there are more men than couples and single women and it would just be a lonely night stood alone at the bar on my own having a couple of beers. I can do that in my local Boozer without having to pay through the nose to get in.
It's theses reasons plus the behaviour of certain single guys which stopped me going . Its crazy behaviour and I would end up sat quietly watching with mild amusement.
Makes me laugh on the "why can't I get a meet " threads from single guys . Clubs are always listed as the place to go .. Its really not.
You seem to have had plenty of success without going to clubs mate. I'd love to know your secret.
I had plenty of meets precovid. It's recently that fab has really nosedive. Endless chatting but then ghosting after meet arranged. It's not like I don't know how it works, but recently it seems people are just getting off on the fantasy and have no intention of meeting. "
We have also found that, since covid we have had quite a lot of meets arranged then been ghosted a day or two before the meet it’s so frustrating as we have to make arrangements for our kids etc and don’t get that much time to meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Really depresses me that some are giving genuine guys a bad name.. Would never dream of behaving with such disrespect in a club... Swinging is also about socialising and making friends x "
This ! |
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"We’ve always found single guys in clubs to be ok. You always get the occasional one that can be a pain "
Exactly this experience for us too. We do get a bit fed up though with the guys who don’t speak all night, make no effort to socialise and then try and make their way into a room when they see us going in. |
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Unfortunately, annual membership requirements impose a financial and social burden on men as well as others. Perhaps shorter-term membership for men, would be better initially where, like starting a new job, they are under review and assessment, only permitted to extend, when they have proven themselves to an appropriate standard. Armband IDs could be worn, to make feedback provision easier too.
I'm sure that some changes could become standard at clubs, that wouldn't impose financial losses for them and might improve it overall, if things improved. |
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I only party for single men and only ever had 2 issues in 8years of partying monthly. Both dealt with perfectly by hosts and staff.
Maybe you need to pick your clubs, hosts or events better- this is really sad to see!
Real shame x |
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We have found some single blokes in clubs to be very respectful, fun and chatty. However there are a few who don't take no for an answer, We feel if they don't take note they should be sanctioned from clubs until they can behave |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I only party for single men and only ever had 2 issues in 8years of partying monthly. Both dealt with perfectly by hosts and staff.
Maybe you need to pick your clubs, hosts or events better- this is really sad to see!
Real shame x"
I disagree. I dont think its a case of picking clubs better as it's difficult to know until you visit, encounter and issue, report in to staff and then witness their response. It also depends on who's in attendance.
The onus is on single guys to behave with some damn decency and respect, to take their transactional entitlement to a women who are paid to engage in sexual acts and leave their expectations of women in the scene at the door.
The onus is also on clubs to be proactive in preventing and dealing with situations. I recently went to Our Place for Fun and the response was terrible. The guy wasn't even approached at all. He was allowed to continue walking around, wanking and touching others. The wanking dead roam that club like it's a scene from Zombie Land. So clubs need to be much more proactive in dealing with assaults and boundary crossings.
Many have the rules on their website or social media page but don't enforce them consistently. It gives the message that boundaries don't matter, which some, if not many single men will take full advantage of.
Word of mouth and looking at reviews is a great way to chose whether to go. But being safe and comfortable whilst you're there and being taken seriously when an issue arises is club dependent. The shit has to hit the fan first and one person's hell is another's heaven. When you see clubs taking a zero- tolerance stance, then it's a club to put on the "I'll visit again" list. It can be very trial and error. |
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" Single men in clubs seem to be getting worse. Zero manners or etiquette, behaving like utter dogs.
Went to one of our favourite clubs last night which was sadly ruined by these clowns behaviour.
A group of them came in, clearly chancers. Made zero effort to socialise with anyone but each other in the bar area, then proceeded to approach couples in the playrooms asking if they could join in.
We were followed around and repeatedly approached by them. Totally killing our vibe. A single lady there was groped by one of them as she walked around the play area too. This shit is totally unacceptable.
Rant over
Mrs M"
Hopefully complaints were made and they were talked to and/or asked to leave.
I do think that if clubs let in a larger number if single men then the situation should also be watched by staff also.
The club should be making the atmosphere and situation comfortable for everyone. |
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"
I only party for single men and only ever had 2 issues in 8years of partying monthly. Both dealt with perfectly by hosts and staff.
Maybe you need to pick your clubs, hosts or events better- this is really sad to see!
Real shame x
I disagree. I dont think its a case of picking clubs better as it's difficult to know until you visit, encounter and issue, report in to staff and then witness their response. It also depends on who's in attendance.
The onus is on single guys to behave with some damn decency and respect, to take their transactional entitlement to a women who are paid to engage in sexual acts and leave their expectations of women in the scene at the door.
The onus is also on clubs to be proactive in preventing and dealing with situations. I recently went to Our Place for Fun and the response was terrible. The guy wasn't even approached at all. He was allowed to continue walking around, wanking and touching others. The wanking dead roam that club like it's a scene from Zombie Land. So clubs need to be much more proactive in dealing with assaults and boundary crossings.
Many have the rules on their website or social media page but don't enforce them consistently. It gives the message that boundaries don't matter, which some, if not many single men will take full advantage of.
Word of mouth and looking at reviews is a great way to chose whether to go. But being safe and comfortable whilst you're there and being taken seriously when an issue arises is club dependent. The shit has to hit the fan first and one person's hell is another's heaven. When you see clubs taking a zero- tolerance stance, then it's a club to put on the "I'll visit again" list. It can be very trial and error. "
The onus should always be on single men to act appropriately.
However all the clubs I use in the north west are very proactive on how they enforce their rules and expectations.
And likewise how they deal with any issues.
The same with hosts, all events I attend I know for a fact the host puts a lot of time and effort into their guest list and takes concerns seriously and wouldn’t bat an eyelid at banning someone from future parties for in appropriate behaviour.
Maybe that comes with experience. But I’d absolutely judge a club and host on how they detail with any issues, not the behaviour of individuals.
Very grateful for always feeling comfortable any any events I attend given some peoples experiences on here.
Will also take on board the need to give good feedback on the clubs section, never really done it before x |
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I personaly see this all the time, in clubs ,its not the regulars as a rule but young druken lads(usually in a small group of 3_4) thinking i have paid to get in so we can just do what we want who is going to stop us? I now dont go as often just not worth the hassle |
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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago
Baughurst |
Sympathise with you. Tell the owners. Single guys bring loads of money to the club but if couples and singles ladies are forced out by their behaviour, then the singles will dry up too when the ratios are too bad. It's in their best business interests to ensure single males are polite and behave. |
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Self entailment kicks in paid more it’s mine attitude, we have found ourselves meeting at home more as other couples and more so single ladies don’t wish to meet in clubs, this was the opposite way round when we started of our journey. Powdered noses makes this situation far worse. It must have a negative effect on a clubs profits when couples and girls are less frequent unfortunately. But I completely understand why they charge more and add memberships for guys to hopefully put of the undesirable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I only party for single men and only ever had 2 issues in 8years of partying monthly. Both dealt with perfectly by hosts and staff.
Maybe you need to pick your clubs, hosts or events better- this is really sad to see!
Real shame x
I disagree. I dont think its a case of picking clubs better as it's difficult to know until you visit, encounter and issue, report in to staff and then witness their response. It also depends on who's in attendance.
The onus is on single guys to behave with some damn decency and respect, to take their transactional entitlement to a women who are paid to engage in sexual acts and leave their expectations of women in the scene at the door.
The onus is also on clubs to be proactive in preventing and dealing with situations. I recently went to Our Place for Fun and the response was terrible. The guy wasn't even approached at all. He was allowed to continue walking around, wanking and touching others. The wanking dead roam that club like it's a scene from Zombie Land. So clubs need to be much more proactive in dealing with assaults and boundary crossings.
Many have the rules on their website or social media page but don't enforce them consistently. It gives the message that boundaries don't matter, which some, if not many single men will take full advantage of.
Word of mouth and looking at reviews is a great way to chose whether to go. But being safe and comfortable whilst you're there and being taken seriously when an issue arises is club dependent. The shit has to hit the fan first and one person's hell is another's heaven. When you see clubs taking a zero- tolerance stance, then it's a club to put on the "I'll visit again" list. It can be very trial and error.
The onus should always be on single men to act appropriately.
However all the clubs I use in the north west are very proactive on how they enforce their rules and expectations.
And likewise how they deal with any issues.
The same with hosts, all events I attend I know for a fact the host puts a lot of time and effort into their guest list and takes concerns seriously and wouldn’t bat an eyelid at banning someone from future parties for in appropriate behaviour.
Maybe that comes with experience. But I’d absolutely judge a club and host on how they detail with any issues, not the behaviour of individuals.
Very grateful for always feeling comfortable any any events I attend given some peoples experiences on here.
Will also take on board the need to give good feedback on the clubs section, never really done it before x"
Of course the onus is on particular single men to behave appropriately. They are the only ones in control of their behaviour. However it is an established fact that many do not.
Thus, the onus shifts to clubs and organisers to deliver consequences without hesitation after the fact. Many do and there are far too many that don't.
Even the sharing of reviews (like verifications on Fab profiles) can be corrupted. Which I have personally experience.
It's really great you have been safe and comfortable at events you've visited. That's absolutely the way it should be and the only way to enjoy the scene. Otherwise it's judt damn stressful. It is very hit and miss and I am speaking as someone that is actively exploring the party to scene to develop a bank of regular events to go to. I posted a while back in the swingers discussion about clubs that take a pragmatic approach to women's safety- looking for recommendations. But I won't know for certain until I go.
But I agree feedback about clubs and sharing of experiences is vital. Especially if it motivates clubs and party organisers to take sterner action, knowing that single women (the hardest people to get in the door) will share their experiences.
I used to be a part of a women only group that shared experiences about parties and fab meets - the good, the bad and the ugly and asked advise about everything related to the scene. It has crossed my mind more than once to set up another. |
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"
Word of mouth and looking at reviews is a great way to chose whether to go. But being safe and comfortable whilst you're there and being taken seriously when an issue arises is club dependent. The shit has to hit the fan first and one person's hell is another's heaven. When you see clubs taking a zero- tolerance stance, then it's a club to put on the "I'll visit again" list. It can be very trial and error. "
I would take word of mouth from someone you know, better than simply relying on the clubs reviews section in here. There's one club in the NW who have any less than positive reviews removed, as soon as they see the review published in here. It gives a false impression of that club, given you can only read the positive reviews left....... |
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Single guys bring a good vibe to clubs and we cpls and ladies want them there for sure. But clubs are raking in a fortune off all of us so they need to step up to the plate and show they care about their "cash cows" . If a guy steps out of line badly by sexually touching without permission they need to ban them for life. Clubs also need to set up communication between them so these guys are banned from getting in to all swinging clubs. By setting up this communication between them they are protecting the ladies who let's be fair without there would be no swing clubs at all,unless they just want guys zombie wanking as they aimlessly walk around in their clubs with no ladies there . More needs to be done to protect the ladies from sexual assaults which if guys touch without permission that is exactly what it is! |
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I only party for single men and only ever had 2 issues in 8years of partying monthly. Both dealt with perfectly by hosts and staff.
Maybe you need to pick your clubs, hosts or events better- this is really sad to see!
Real shame x
I disagree. I dont think its a case of picking clubs better as it's difficult to know until you visit, encounter and issue, report in to staff and then witness their response. It also depends on who's in attendance.
The onus is on single guys to behave with some damn decency and respect, to take their transactional entitlement to a women who are paid to engage in sexual acts and leave their expectations of women in the scene at the door.
The onus is also on clubs to be proactive in preventing and dealing with situations. I recently went to Our Place for Fun and the response was terrible. The guy wasn't even approached at all. He was allowed to continue walking around, wanking and touching others. The wanking dead roam that club like it's a scene from Zombie Land. So clubs need to be much more proactive in dealing with assaults and boundary crossings.
Many have the rules on their website or social media page but don't enforce them consistently. It gives the message that boundaries don't matter, which some, if not many single men will take full advantage of.
Word of mouth and looking at reviews is a great way to chose whether to go. But being safe and comfortable whilst you're there and being taken seriously when an issue arises is club dependent. The shit has to hit the fan first and one person's hell is another's heaven. When you see clubs taking a zero- tolerance stance, then it's a club to put on the "I'll visit again" list. It can be very trial and error.
The onus should always be on single men to act appropriately.
However all the clubs I use in the north west are very proactive on how they enforce their rules and expectations.
And likewise how they deal with any issues.
The same with hosts, all events I attend I know for a fact the host puts a lot of time and effort into their guest list and takes concerns seriously and wouldn’t bat an eyelid at banning someone from future parties for in appropriate behaviour.
Maybe that comes with experience. But I’d absolutely judge a club and host on how they detail with any issues, not the behaviour of individuals.
Very grateful for always feeling comfortable any any events I attend given some peoples experiences on here.
Will also take on board the need to give good feedback on the clubs section, never really done it before x
Of course the onus is on particular single men to behave appropriately. They are the only ones in control of their behaviour. However it is an established fact that many do not.
Thus, the onus shifts to clubs and organisers to deliver consequences without hesitation after the fact. Many do and there are far too many that don't.
Even the sharing of reviews (like verifications on Fab profiles) can be corrupted. Which I have personally experience.
It's really great you have been safe and comfortable at events you've visited. That's absolutely the way it should be and the only way to enjoy the scene. Otherwise it's judt damn stressful. It is very hit and miss and I am speaking as someone that is actively exploring the party to scene to develop a bank of regular events to go to. I posted a while back in the swingers discussion about clubs that take a pragmatic approach to women's safety- looking for recommendations. But I won't know for certain until I go.
But I agree feedback about clubs and sharing of experiences is vital. Especially if it motivates clubs and party organisers to take sterner action, knowing that single women (the hardest people to get in the door) will share their experiences.
I used to be a part of a women only group that shared experiences about parties and fab meets - the good, the bad and the ugly and asked advise about everything related to the scene. It has crossed my mind more than once to set up another. "
We have a kik group for women who party regularly across the north west area.
Share experiences and check out who’s going where. It’s worked really well for us definitely recommend x |
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"I’ve found guys of a certain origin to be hassle in clubs, to the point where I threatened to chin a couple of them. "
I found this a while ago when i attended a club night. Like wolves hunting in packs, no respect, crowding around cpls an singles. Pushing people out the way. |
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From everything I've seen. I think single guys just should not be allowed in clubs in any capacity. I say this as a single guy. I know there are good instances but I think if single guys were not allowed in clubs everyone would be safer and happier. There could maybe a verification standard same as here. You can't attend unless you are verified by someone who is already a member. |
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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago
Sheffield |
"This thread is an Interesting read, and only further enforces why I have never, and will never go to a club. Firsty, I find it a disgrace that single blokes are used as cash cows and basically ripped off with enterence fees to get in clubs , and I wont let myself be mugged off.At the end of the day, everyone is entering the SAME club, gaining access to the same facilities, yet single blokes are charged a lot more for the access to said facilities. You don't have different prices for men and women /couples to get in a nightclub.
Secondly, i cannot fathom why single blokes would pay a fortune to enter a club, when the chances are there are more men than couples and single women and it would just be a lonely night stood alone at the bar on my own having a couple of beers. I can do that in my local Boozer without having to pay through the nose to get in.
It's theses reasons plus the behaviour of certain single guys which stopped me going . Its crazy behaviour and I would end up sat quietly watching with mild amusement.
Makes me laugh on the "why can't I get a meet " threads from single guys . Clubs are always listed as the place to go .. Its really not.
You seem to have had plenty of success without going to clubs mate. I'd love to know your secret.
I had plenty of meets precovid. It's recently that fab has really nosedive. Endless chatting but then ghosting after meet arranged. It's not like I don't know how it works, but recently it seems people are just getting off on the fantasy and have no intention of meeting.
We have also found that, since covid we have had quite a lot of meets arranged then been ghosted a day or two before the meet it’s so frustrating as we have to make arrangements for our kids etc and don’t get that much time to meet."
Yeah , it's strange. Why go through all the chatting etc, arrange a date , then just drop out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"From everything I've seen. I think single guys just should not be allowed in clubs in any capacity. I say this as a single guy. I know there are good instances but I think if single guys were not allowed in clubs everyone would be safer and happier. There could maybe a verification standard same as here. You can't attend unless you are verified by someone who is already a member. "
*GASPS IN HEAUX* (Pronounced whore). I would only have the men from couples to fuck then!! That brings in an issue (drama) in itself!
But I do somewhat agree. The nights I've been to clubs where single men are not invited, the atmosphere is completely different. It was so much more comfortable.
But a girl needs a single man to give her the pounding she craves. |
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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago
Sheffield |
"From everything I've seen. I think single guys just should not be allowed in clubs in any capacity. I say this as a single guy. I know there are good instances but I think if single guys were not allowed in clubs everyone would be safer and happier. There could maybe a verification standard same as here. You can't attend unless you are verified by someone who is already a member.
*GASPS IN HEAUX* (Pronounced whore). I would only have the men from couples to fuck then!! That brings in an issue (drama) in itself!
But I do somewhat agree. The nights I've been to clubs where single men are not invited, the atmosphere is completely different. It was so much more comfortable.
But a girl needs a single man to give her the pounding she craves. "
The same could be said of Fab itself... |
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"From everything I've seen. I think single guys just should not be allowed in clubs in any capacity. I say this as a single guy. I know there are good instances but I think if single guys were not allowed in clubs everyone would be safer and happier. There could maybe a verification standard same as here. You can't attend unless you are verified by someone who is already a member. "
Pretty sure this is how one large event organiser runs their events but mostly London. Basically you have to be recommended by another member |
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By *archel OP Couple
over a year ago
A field somewhere |
After having time to reflect on what happened Saturday night, and after reading the posts on this thread, one option could be to keep single males in the bar area, and only allowing admittance to the play rooms with a couple or single lady after an invitation to play by a couple or single lady. After play, back to the bar area so no loitering.
Mr M. |
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However I disagree saying "single guys" as whole group. There are plenty out there who are wonderful  I've seen disgusting behaviour from guys, girls and couples. And I've pulled all of them on it. In various venues. If you go to thr staff most will help and remove and ban if need be.
I have found it can depend on the day/night the type of event. I have been to a greedy girl style event and I won't go back again I found it way too much I couldn't stay longer 5 mins just not my thing. But have attended other events where I never want to leave !
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"From everything I've seen. I think single guys just should not be allowed in clubs in any capacity. I say this as a single guy. I know there are good instances but I think if single guys were not allowed in clubs everyone would be safer and happier. There could maybe a verification standard same as here. You can't attend unless you are verified by someone who is already a member.
*GASPS IN HEAUX* (Pronounced whore). I would only have the men from couples to fuck then!! That brings in an issue (drama) in itself!
But I do somewhat agree. The nights I've been to clubs where single men are not invited, the atmosphere is completely different. It was so much more comfortable.
But a girl needs a single man to give her the pounding she craves. "
And solo guys need solo girls in clubs. A 121 encounter in a club is a rare thing indeed…… |
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By *orl1971Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"As a couple that havnt gone to a club , but have thought about it, that would be our worst nightmare. We’d probably only go if it was a couples only night "
We are similar in that we’ve never been to a club . Reading this echos with stories people have told us about being hounded by single guys.
If we did go we similarly would go on a night when they don’t allow single guys in. |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
taunton somerset |
"As a couple that havnt gone to a club , but have thought about it, that would be our worst nightmare. We’d probably only go if it was a couples only night
We are similar in that we’ve never been to a club . Reading this echos with stories people have told us about being hounded by single guys.
If we did go we similarly would go on a night when they don’t allow single guys in. "
a couples only night is the most boring of the nights to go in my opinion .... its not all single guys it guys from couples too and then there are women and couples who are nightmares to ... i say deal with it say it loud to those your not interested in they will back off cause the last thing they want is to be called out it those that dont call them out that are the problem so these guys think its ok because they get away with it .... would you let someone grope you in public no so its simple dont allow it in a club ... just go on a normal night see it for yourself see what you think and then decide if it was ok for you or not and most clubs are on the ball when it comes to these things but they cant deal with stuff if they dont know... |
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"After having time to reflect on what happened Saturday night, and after reading the posts on this thread, one option could be to keep single males in the bar area, and only allowing admittance to the play rooms with a couple or single lady after an invitation to play by a couple or single lady. After play, back to the bar area so no loitering.
Mr M."
So what about the behaviour from males from couples, couples and women, who can and do behave exactly the same as some single men.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Gosh, reading some of this sounds awful. Are women behaved, asking for a friend.
Puts me right off going to a club think I stick with banana cake and milk shake at home... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will let you know what VA is like tomorrow. Im off there as a couple with a friend. But i wont ever leave her with a single man unless we both know him well. "
Well ive got to back single men up. We just got back and can say men were very respectfull. Gave us space. When one asked us if he could join in, i replied sorry but this is our time now. He could watch but not touch. And he did. Very respectfull. So i can only reply on our experiance. And that is not all are bad. Give the good men a chance. |
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"After having time to reflect on what happened Saturday night, and after reading the posts on this thread, one option could be to keep single males in the bar area, and only allowing admittance to the play rooms with a couple or single lady after an invitation to play by a couple or single lady. After play, back to the bar area so no loitering.
Mr M.
So what about the behaviour from males from couples, couples and women, who can and do behave exactly the same as some single men...."
Its definitely not just single men that behave in this way .We enjoy clubs and party’s and the only issues we’ve ever had has been with couples .
You have the groups of men that will follow you around playing with themselves but as long as they don’t touch and invade your space as bizarre as I find it then it’s fine.
More people now are calling out others on their bad behaviour and letting them know it’s not acceptable.
We’ve been to events where their were staff located everywhere they had a uniform on so you knew they were staff and if their was any issue they were always on hand we have never seen any bad behaviour in these events. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will let you know what VA is like tomorrow. Im off there as a couple with a friend. But i wont ever leave her with a single man unless we both know him well.
Well ive got to back single men up. We just got back and can say men were very respectfull. Gave us space. When one asked us if he could join in, i replied sorry but this is our time now. He could watch but not touch. And he did. Very respectfull. So i can only reply on our experiance. And that is not all are bad. Give the good men a chance."
I've been on my own and wandered round with the 'wanking train' of men. They looked after me, were very respectful, let me stand at the front so I could watch. We all watched together.
If anyone has been too close just speak to them like a human being and they will move away as asked. |
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"As a couple that havnt gone to a club , but have thought about it, that would be our worst nightmare. We’d probably only go if it was a couples only night
We are similar in that we’ve never been to a club . Reading this echos with stories people have told us about being hounded by single guys.
If we did go we similarly would go on a night when they don’t allow single guys in. "
We're veterans of clubs and what you've read and heard is a lot of scaremongering. It's only a small percentage of single guys that overstep the mark, most actually just walk around looking around because they're too nervous to strike up conversation. The comments about Men from couples is something we never see. Most people in clubs are very respectful (though shy about making the first move), don't let these horror stories put you off as they're not the norm, which is why most club's continue to be packed most weekends. |
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Absolutely second this.
"We're veterans of clubs and what you've read and heard is a lot of scaremongering. It's only a small percentage of single guys that overstep the mark, most actually just walk around looking around because they're too nervous to strike up conversation. The comments about Men from couples is something we never see. Most people in clubs are very respectful (though shy about making the first move), don't let these horror stories put you off as they're not the norm, which is why most club's continue to be packed most weekends."
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"As a couple that havnt gone to a club , but have thought about it, that would be our worst nightmare. We’d probably only go if it was a couples only night
We are similar in that we’ve never been to a club . Reading this echos with stories people have told us about being hounded by single guys.
If we did go we similarly would go on a night when they don’t allow single guys in.
We're veterans of clubs and what you've read and heard is a lot of scaremongering. It's only a small percentage of single guys that overstep the mark, most actually just walk around looking around because they're too nervous to strike up conversation. The comments about Men from couples is something we never see. Most people in clubs are very respectful (though shy about making the first move), don't let these horror stories put you off as they're not the norm, which is why most club's continue to be packed most weekends."
Very well said x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" We're veterans of clubs and what you've read and heard is a lot of scaremongering. It's only a small percentage of single guys that overstep the mark, most actually just walk around looking around because they're too nervous to strike up conversation. The comments about Men from couples is something we never see. Most people in clubs are very respectful (though shy about making the first move), don't let these horror stories put you off as they're not the norm, which is why most club's continue to be packed most weekends."
I agree with this completely!
Actually, when I attend clubs with my husband we actively avoid the "no single men" nights now.
This isn't because single guys are what we are mainly looking for, it's because the atmosphere of the club just isn't as good on the couples and singles women only nights!
The same as every other place people congregate, some people are assholes. We find far fewer hang out in swingers clubs than in vanilla venues, and if someone is an ass, any decent club will boot them out if they are reported |
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"It bothers us as a new couple to swinging. It ends any chance of a single guy getting involved with us. "
The best way is to meet a decent guy at a club is to arrange it previous. Get to no a single guy then arrange to meet at a club. Much better than taking chances |
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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago
Baughurst |
"Arm bands will sort this.. different colours mean what you are up for.
And so reducing people even further to sex meat tick boxes! "
Not really, if they are optional for individuals or couples that prefer to show visually a particular preference while others can choose not to wear one. |
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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago
Baughurst |
As a couple that only plays with couples and so we are not interested in single men, we could not disagree more. Many couples enjoy 3somes or moresomes with men. These couples go to clubs on days when single men are allowed. We go when they are not because the ratio of couples interested in other couples is higher. Plus single ladies should have the choice to meet a single male at a club.
"From everything I've seen. I think single guys just should not be allowed in clubs in any capacity. I say this as a single guy. I know there are good instances but I think if single guys were not allowed in clubs everyone would be safer and happier. There could maybe a verification standard same as here. You can't attend unless you are verified by someone who is already a member. "
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