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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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my husband has been encouarging me to take a regular boyfriend that I can meet whenever I want. Not just fpr sex but meals, social occasions, possibly even go away for the night.
Have any other couples had experience of this. How did it work, any negative impact on existing relationship. |
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By *wdjamesMan
over a year ago
Warrington |
The impact on your current relationship really depends on the open and honest communication between both of you about expectations, boundaries and barriers.
Need to work the and discuss the potential emotions, both good and bad, like what happens if you fall in love with the boyfriend or if hubby gets jealous, etc.
Would also need to discuss if you'll let them bf go bareback or if he should wear a condom. And if he does go bareback, what happens if he gets you pregnant.
Also would be good to discuss the possibility of the husband joining in for the occasional threesome which may help on occasion as well.
Having said that... I'm willing to participate if you're looking for potential candidates? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my husband has been encouarging me to take a regular boyfriend that I can meet whenever I want. Not just fpr sex but meals, social occasions, possibly even go away for the night.
Have any other couples had experience of this. How did it work, any negative impact on existing relationship."
Lucky girl, I wouldn't want to share you!!
Can I join the queue  |
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"my husband has been encouarging me to take a regular boyfriend that I can meet whenever I want. Not just fpr sex but meals, social occasions, possibly even go away for the night.
Have any other couples had experience of this. How did it work, any negative impact on existing relationship.
Lucky girl, I wouldn't want to share you!!
Can I join the queue "
But if you were her boyfriend you would be sharing her, with her husband  |
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It's important that you talk it through. It can be amazing and really enjoyable. It enhances your support network and broadens your sex life.
Just work through feelings, jealousy and boundaries.
I can recommend a book called Polysecure.
Hope you find the right person too. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"my husband has been encouarging me to take a regular boyfriend that I can meet whenever I want. Not just fpr sex but meals, social occasions, possibly even go away for the night.
Have any other couples had experience of this. How did it work, any negative impact on existing relationship.
Lucky girl, I wouldn't want to share you!!
Can I join the queue
But if you were her boyfriend you would be sharing her, with her husband "
I wouldn't share if she was my wife but would happily be the BF  |
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"my husband has been encouarging me to take a regular boyfriend that I can meet whenever I want. Not just fpr sex but meals, social occasions, possibly even go away for the night.
Have any other couples had experience of this. How did it work, any negative impact on existing relationship.
Lucky girl, I wouldn't want to share you!!
Can I join the queue
But if you were her boyfriend you would be sharing her, with her husband
I wouldn't share if she was my wife but would happily be the BF "
Ah right, got ya'  |
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"my husband has been encouarging me to take a regular boyfriend that I can meet whenever I want. Not just fpr sex but meals, social occasions, possibly even go away for the night.
Have any other couples had experience of this. How did it work, any negative impact on existing relationship."
Lucky you and great that husband is suggesting it - trust is key |
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"thanks for the comments so far. Im more than happy with his suggestion. My only concern is what impact it may have on us"
That's not possible to predict in my opinion. There are so many variables and possibilities. I reckon if you're both 100% honest about how it's making you feel you'll be ok. |
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"thanks for the comments so far. Im more than happy with his suggestion. My only concern is what impact it may have on us"
As you say he doesn’t play with you but is happy for you to on your own, I don’t see why having a regular bf would change anything unless you let emotions get in the way. |
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I may just be cynical, but when a husband says to his wife that she should get a boyfriend for dates and meals etc, isn't he just being lazy and outsourcing the relationship part of their relationship to someone else? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I may just be cynical, but when a husband says to his wife that she should get a boyfriend for dates and meals etc, isn't he just being lazy and outsourcing the relationship part of their relationship to someone else? "
thats 100% not the case. This is in addition to not a replacement for |
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"I may just be cynical, but when a husband says to his wife that she should get a boyfriend for dates and meals etc, isn't he just being lazy and outsourcing the relationship part of their relationship to someone else? "
Not cynical but also isn’t the wife being equally as lazy not trying to get husband to treat her this way if that’s what she likes. Also why are both happy for this ? Husband and wife? There must be a reason and each to their own, but with a profile of over a year and no verifications yet happy to start a new relationship with someone else. Leaves questions |
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"I may just be cynical, but when a husband says to his wife that she should get a boyfriend for dates and meals etc, isn't he just being lazy and outsourcing the relationship part of their relationship to someone else?
Not cynical but also isn’t the wife being equally as lazy not trying to get husband to treat her this way if that’s what she likes. Also why are both happy for this ? Husband and wife? There must be a reason and each to their own, but with a profile of over a year and no verifications yet happy to start a new relationship with someone else. Leaves questions "
The first question might why the profile states not looking for single guys? As it also gives a solo account that doesn’t exist, it might suggest a need for a profile update. |
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"With friendships we get different things from different friends. We have sporty friends, drinking friends, confidants etc.
Why are relationships different? "
Probably because they require more of a person's resources? |
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"my husband has been encouarging me to take a regular boyfriend that I can meet whenever I want. Not just fpr sex but meals, social occasions, possibly even go away for the night.
Have any other couples had experience of this. How did it work, any negative impact on existing relationship.
Lucky girl, I wouldn't want to share you!!
Can I join the queue
But if you were her boyfriend you would be sharing her, with her husband
I wouldn't share if she was my wife but would happily be the BF "
So you are happy to fuck someone else's wife hut you would not share your wife. That's not the swinging lifestyle. |
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"thanks for the comments so far. Im more than happy with his suggestion. My only concern is what impact it may have on us"
Only problem that could crop up is if you fall deeper in love with the BF than you are with the hubby. That could have serious consequences to your present relationship. Joanne |
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"With friendships we get different things from different friends. We have sporty friends, drinking friends, confidants etc.
Why are relationships different?
Probably because they require more of a person's resources? "
And could end up feeling far more for the new lover emotionally than the hubby. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
Question would be could you trust yourself as in a Fwb regular the connection/bond grows would anyone become jealous or even worse lose interest in the partner
Everything is possible to work long as nobody crosses the line and fully understand the agreement |
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"Question would be could you trust yourself as in a Fwb regular the connection/bond grows would anyone become jealous or even worse lose interest in the partner
Everything is possible to work long as nobody crosses the line and fully understand the agreement "
Thats what I was hinting at. |
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"Question would be could you trust yourself as in a Fwb regular the connection/bond grows would anyone become jealous or even worse lose interest in the partner
Everything is possible to work long as nobody crosses the line and fully understand the agreement "
I'd find it an odd concept to embark on a regular relationship with someone that was stipulating that feelings would have to be limited |
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By *helroyCouple
over a year ago
Skegness |
wife did this a good few years ago now they met up for meals and this lead to a weekend away with my full blessing it last for over 3 years we still had mfm with him but some times with work i cud not make it to be with them was very horny for all of us |
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In a precious life I used the site when my then partner as a couple. I agreed to allow her to meet other men on her own. This rapidly changed to her taking no interest in our couple profile, or meets and solely concentrating on her single profile and meeting single guys. She also became very secretive. Long story short, we are no longer together.
It’s not to say anything similar would happen in this particular situation, I’m just sharing my experience. |
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As long as it works both ways and your both happy with the dynamics then woo hoo partay and enjoy. Of the trust is there then it's amazing......we both have this dynamic and we been together nearly 10 years and it's amazing x |
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"some.really interesting comments so far, thanks.
nobody that actually seems to have a similar relationship to share their thoughts"
There are plenty of poly people on here. It's a different form of ENM that swinging but perfectly valid. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Question would be could you trust yourself as in a Fwb regular the connection/bond grows would anyone become jealous or even worse lose interest in the partner
Everything is possible to work long as nobody crosses the line and fully understand the agreement
I'd find it an odd concept to embark on a regular relationship with someone that was stipulating that feelings would have to be limited "
I think in general it would be how genuine the guy is. In respecting the relationship of the couple and not crossing the line regardless how the female might be tempted...
My duration on this site chatting with fair few do understand things can go wrong and bang goes the relationship both sides can be blamed for this not just the guy. So taking little steps plenty of socials. If it was me personally I'd want a signed agreement should anything go wrong you've lost everything when it comes to a divorce and happy to agree this it's a mutual agreement  it's fair play |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"thanks for the comments so far. Im more than happy with his suggestion. My only concern is what impact it may have on us"
As long as you keep communication open and honest about it all, you can just see how it goes. At the end of the day you won't know the impact until you try, and as long as you're all clear on boundaries then just enjoy it 
Mrs |
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