FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Giving up
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"It’s a real struggle for a lot of us. Keep being yourself and hopefully something will come from it soon " I will always be myself but the amount of time I spend messaging winking and viewing profiles to get a match is just not worth the effort anymore | |||
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"We can’t be for everyone….. I’m sure you’ll get there OP. Good luck " 3 yrs thousands of messages and 1 meet from a f of here. | |||
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"I seem to be doing alright. Just be yourself and stop trying to please. Talk to people like you’re talking to your mate, and don't take fab so seriously." Well I am sure you are aware that BBC is very much a lot of couples and females fantasy so I am sure you are doing all right however a white 51 yr old that can’t accommodate is very much at the bottom of the list even though I would be classed as a BWC ?? | |||
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"I seem to be doing alright. Just be yourself and stop trying to please. Talk to people like you’re talking to your mate, and don't take fab so seriously. Well I am sure you are aware that BBC is very much a lot of couples and females fantasy so I am sure you are doing all right however a white 51 yr old that can’t accommodate is very much at the bottom of the list even though I would be classed as a BWC ??" If you can’t accom maybe give some explanation why in your profile (don’t need to be detailed) - many will just see that and assume you are married/looking to cheat. | |||
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"It can be really frustrating. In fact, fabs is even more difficult than tinder these days. I get most of my dates the old fashioned way. Fabs is just an addition. " Not on tinder friend of mine was and he said the same thing about tinder as I am experiencing on here. Perhaps I should try | |||
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"We can’t be for everyone….. I’m sure you’ll get there OP. Good luck 3 yrs thousands of messages and 1 meet from a f of here." Are there thousands of profiles that match your? You seem to be well received at clubs going by your verifications so why not concentrate your efforts there. | |||
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"I seem to be doing alright. Just be yourself and stop trying to please. Talk to people like you’re talking to your mate, and don't take fab so seriously. Well I am sure you are aware that BBC is very much a lot of couples and females fantasy so I am sure you are doing all right however a white 51 yr old that can’t accommodate is very much at the bottom of the list even though I would be classed as a BWC ??" There's plenty of women on here after BWC, maybe you should use that abbreviation. If you cannot accommodate, you can book a hotel, and being 51yrs young and you look like you keep yourself in good shape, your far from being at the bottom. Also, not every one likes BBC there's alot of couples and singles state no blackmen. | |||
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"I seem to be doing alright. Just be yourself and stop trying to please. Talk to people like you’re talking to your mate, and don't take fab so seriously. Well I am sure you are aware that BBC is very much a lot of couples and females fantasy so I am sure you are doing all right however a white 51 yr old that can’t accommodate is very much at the bottom of the list even though I would be classed as a BWC ?? If you can’t accom maybe give some explanation why in your profile (don’t need to be detailed) - many will just see that and assume you are married/looking to cheat. " I don’t feel I need to explain why I can’t accommodate just like the majority on here that’s the problem far too many judgemental people on here that can’t be bothered to chat and get to know someone but would rather make an uneducated guess | |||
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"We can’t be for everyone….. I’m sure you’ll get there OP. Good luck 3 yrs thousands of messages and 1 meet from a f of here. Are there thousands of profiles that match your? You seem to be well received at clubs going by your verifications so why not concentrate your efforts there." Clubs I agree are the best way forward however I find it hard to strike up a conversation in person. Also I don’t appreciate being used as a cash cow by clubs for charging me double entry price and still no gaureentee of meeting anyone as single males generally have to book in whereas f and couples don’t and I have been on more than one occasion and it’s just a sausage fest perhaps if we all had to book in then the club owners can get a good mix of single m and f and couples. But then I don’t own a club and don’t want to make easy money if single guys. Amazing sexual discrimination is not allowed anywhere apart from swingers clubs makes me laugh really | |||
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"I seem to be doing alright. Just be yourself and stop trying to please. Talk to people like you’re talking to your mate, and don't take fab so seriously. Well I am sure you are aware that BBC is very much a lot of couples and females fantasy so I am sure you are doing all right however a white 51 yr old that can’t accommodate is very much at the bottom of the list even though I would be classed as a BWC ?? If you can’t accom maybe give some explanation why in your profile (don’t need to be detailed) - many will just see that and assume you are married/looking to cheat. I don’t feel I need to explain why I can’t accommodate just like the majority on here that’s the problem far too many judgemental people on here that can’t be bothered to chat and get to know someone but would rather make an uneducated guess" They simply don’t need/want to ask. Why should they? They’ll see that, delete. There will another hundred blokes after you who aren’t immediately ruling themselves out. | |||
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"I have the exact same problem, I have changed my profile so many times I’ve lost count and I’ve tried every kind of approach you can imagine, nothing seems to work. As you can see from my verifications my last meet off here was New Year’s Eve 2013…..yes that’s almost 10 years ago. I can spend a Saturday evening messaging approx 40 people (single females and couples) who when I read their profiles I seem to fit what they are looking for, out of those messages I would say less than 10% even get read, and of those that do get read probably 5% at most reply with about a 5 word rejection reply " Thank god it’s not just me | |||
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"I seem to be doing alright. Just be yourself and stop trying to please. Talk to people like you’re talking to your mate, and don't take fab so seriously. Well I am sure you are aware that BBC is very much a lot of couples and females fantasy so I am sure you are doing all right however a white 51 yr old that can’t accommodate is very much at the bottom of the list even though I would be classed as a BWC ?? If you can’t accom maybe give some explanation why in your profile (don’t need to be detailed) - many will just see that and assume you are married/looking to cheat. I don’t feel I need to explain why I can’t accommodate just like the majority on here that’s the problem far too many judgemental people on here that can’t be bothered to chat and get to know someone but would rather make an uneducated guess" Men and women are different, I understand your frustration, but you can't just passive aggressively say the same things as women do, that annoy you, and expect to be treated the same way. As a woman, you don't need to explain why you can't accommodate. Barely any man cares really, unless they also can't accommodate. But a man who can't accommodate is perceived way different. Maybe unfair, but that's reality. You can either try to make the world change for you, or you adapt, improvise and overcome. | |||
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"Wrong mentality. You’re not a cash cow at under £70. Cows generate enough for businesses to sit on a hammock stress free. Clubs are for socialising anything else is a bonus." Well that says more about you than me if you can afford to throw away £70 go ahead me I am not tight just sensible with my money. Clubs and pubs are for socialising I agree but the local pub is free. | |||
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"Wrong mentality. You’re not a cash cow at under £70. Cows generate enough for businesses to sit on a hammock stress free. Clubs are for socialising anything else is a bonus. Well that says more about you than me if you can afford to throw away £70 go ahead me I am not tight just sensible with my money. Clubs and pubs are for socialising I agree but the local pub is free. " A woman readiny this her fanny would dry up straight away. | |||
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"I hate to say it but all you've shown me in your profile and comments is negativity. I'm sure, for you, you feel you've tried different approaches, and sorry to say but that's not enough for me or possibly other people. " It’s hard not to be negative after the amount of time spent. But I guess you wouldn’t understand I am sure you get hundreds of offers so you can afford to be choosy and selective. Again another person being judgmental instead of asking to get to know me | |||
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"Wrong mentality. You’re not a cash cow at under £70. Cows generate enough for businesses to sit on a hammock stress free. Clubs are for socialising anything else is a bonus. Well that says more about you than me if you can afford to throw away £70 go ahead me I am not tight just sensible with my money. Clubs and pubs are for socialising I agree but the local pub is free. A woman readiny this her fanny would dry up straight away." Well that’s their problem not mine I can keep hard why can’t they keep moist. I am not trying to turn anybody on or off just stating facts from my perspective. We are all different and that I accept | |||
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"I have the exact same problem, I have changed my profile so many times I’ve lost count and I’ve tried every kind of approach you can imagine, nothing seems to work. As you can see from my verifications my last meet off here was New Year’s Eve 2013…..yes that’s almost 10 years ago. I can spend a Saturday evening messaging approx 40 people (single females and couples) who when I read their profiles I seem to fit what they are looking for, out of those messages I would say less than 10% even get read, and of those that do get read probably 5% at most reply with about a 5 word rejection reply 1) you've got a cock as your profile pic and the women on here have said over a million time "No cock pics!" You reducing your chances by a factor of a million! So I shouldn’t have any pics on my profile? I’m happy to share a face pic after making contact but I (like most people here male or female) am not putting one on for everyone to see. It’s called privacy I didn't read your profile. I saw the cock pic, the redheads and squirters comment and stopped reading. That's a turn off for me. It could be a turn off for 100 more women. Could be a turn on for 100 more, you can't win lol" Thank you, I have also changed this now | |||
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"Wrong mentality. You’re not a cash cow at under £70. Cows generate enough for businesses to sit on a hammock stress free. Clubs are for socialising anything else is a bonus." Yep | |||
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"I hate to say it but all you've shown me in your profile and comments is negativity. I'm sure, for you, you feel you've tried different approaches, and sorry to say but that's not enough for me or possibly other people. It’s hard not to be negative after the amount of time spent. But I guess you wouldn’t understand I am sure you get hundreds of offers so you can afford to be choosy and selective. Again another person being judgmental instead of asking to get to know me " You guessed wrong. Your judgement of me is wrong. Just because I'm a women doesn't automatically put me in that 'women get messages' category, so I don't even get the option of selection. My 'judgement' was on the negative attitude which does you no favours. I wish you good luck in how you move forward, hope the forums and search function on previous threads like this helps you. | |||
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"I seem to be doing alright. Just be yourself and stop trying to please. Talk to people like you’re talking to your mate, and don't take fab so seriously. Well I am sure you are aware that BBC is very much a lot of couples and females fantasy so I am sure you are doing all right however a white 51 yr old that can’t accommodate is very much at the bottom of the list even though I would be classed as a BWC ?? If you can’t accom maybe give some explanation why in your profile (don’t need to be detailed) - many will just see that and assume you are married/looking to cheat. I don’t feel I need to explain why I can’t accommodate just like the majority on here that’s the problem far too many judgemental people on here that can’t be bothered to chat and get to know someone but would rather make an uneducated guess" And that attitude won't help in the slightest. Sorry. Why don't you just try having a break. | |||
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"I seem to be doing alright. Just be yourself and stop trying to please. Talk to people like you’re talking to your mate, and don't take fab so seriously. Well I am sure you are aware that BBC is very much a lot of couples and females fantasy so I am sure you are doing all right however a white 51 yr old that can’t accommodate is very much at the bottom of the list even though I would be classed as a BWC ?? If you can’t accom maybe give some explanation why in your profile (don’t need to be detailed) - many will just see that and assume you are married/looking to cheat. I don’t feel I need to explain why I can’t accommodate just like the majority on here that’s the problem far too many judgemental people on here that can’t be bothered to chat and get to know someone but would rather make an uneducated guess" If you can't be bothered to explain why should people be bothered to ask? If fab is making you unhappy then leave, I find it hard to believe 1000's of women are what your looking for, maybe focus on the ones that actually match your preferences, throwing messages to anyone and everyone will result in a high rejection rate. You seem negative about the whole thing so maybe it's just not for you? Personally if you want to stay don't message anyone, only who you think matches your preference and you there's, obviously have a decent bio and if you can't be arsed to explain things don't expect people to be arsed to ask. Good luck in whatever you decide to do. Mrs | |||
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"Wrong mentality. You’re not a cash cow at under £70. Cows generate enough for businesses to sit on a hammock stress free. Clubs are for socialising anything else is a bonus. Well that says more about you than me if you can afford to throw away £70 go ahead me I am not tight just sensible with my money. Clubs and pubs are for socialising I agree but the local pub is free. " Wow, your local pub is free! Where???? Maybe we all should go there for a boozy night for free! OP, you are probably going to wrong clubs. Not all treat single gentlemen as cash cows. | |||
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"Wrong mentality. You’re not a cash cow at under £70. Cows generate enough for businesses to sit on a hammock stress free. Clubs are for socialising anything else is a bonus. Well that says more about you than me if you can afford to throw away £70 go ahead me I am not tight just sensible with my money. Clubs and pubs are for socialising I agree but the local pub is free. A woman readiny this her fanny would dry up straight away." Oh no, my fanny went very wet at the thought of a free pub! | |||
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"I seem to be doing alright. Just be yourself and stop trying to please. Talk to people like you’re talking to your mate, and don't take fab so seriously. Well I am sure you are aware that BBC is very much a lot of couples and females fantasy so I am sure you are doing all right however a white 51 yr old that can’t accommodate is very much at the bottom of the list even though I would be classed as a BWC ?? If you can’t accom maybe give some explanation why in your profile (don’t need to be detailed) - many will just see that and assume you are married/looking to cheat. I don’t feel I need to explain why I can’t accommodate just like the majority on here that’s the problem far too many judgemental people on here that can’t be bothered to chat and get to know someone but would rather make an uneducated guess" If you don’t want to give people information that’s up to you. But if you don’t want to accom and don’t want to explain and don’t want to go clubs because you feel that you’re used as a cash cow then you’re narrowing your chances. Perhaps look at profiles of single guys who have a load of veri’s and see what they’re doing right. | |||
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"I hate to say it but all you've shown me in your profile and comments is negativity. I'm sure, for you, you feel you've tried different approaches, and sorry to say but that's not enough for me or possibly other people. It’s hard not to be negative after the amount of time spent. But I guess you wouldn’t understand I am sure you get hundreds of offers so you can afford to be choosy and selective. Again another person being judgmental instead of asking to get to know me You guessed wrong. Your judgement of me is wrong. Just because I'm a women doesn't automatically put me in that 'women get messages' category, so I don't even get the option of selection. My 'judgement' was on the negative attitude which does you no favours. I wish you good luck in how you move forward, hope the forums and search function on previous threads like this helps you. " You must be the only female on here that doesn’t get hundreds of messages perhaps it’s not me that has a negative attitude LoL | |||
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"Wrong mentality. You’re not a cash cow at under £70. Cows generate enough for businesses to sit on a hammock stress free. Clubs are for socialising anything else is a bonus. Well that says more about you than me if you can afford to throw away £70 go ahead me I am not tight just sensible with my money. Clubs and pubs are for socialising I agree but the local pub is free. " Just an example of the kind of thing out there. I think fairly recently there was a big organised social in a Cambridge pub not too far from you. Might have been a tenner or so to attend. Don't have to spend a fortune although I know that kind of environment is not for all. | |||
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"I seem to be doing alright. Just be yourself and stop trying to please. Talk to people like you’re talking to your mate, and don't take fab so seriously. Well I am sure you are aware that BBC is very much a lot of couples and females fantasy so I am sure you are doing all right however a white 51 yr old that can’t accommodate is very much at the bottom of the list even though I would be classed as a BWC ?? If you can’t accom maybe give some explanation why in your profile (don’t need to be detailed) - many will just see that and assume you are married/looking to cheat. I don’t feel I need to explain why I can’t accommodate just like the majority on here that’s the problem far too many judgemental people on here that can’t be bothered to chat and get to know someone but would rather make an uneducated guess If you don’t want to give people information that’s up to you. But if you don’t want to accom and don’t want to explain and don’t want to go clubs because you feel that you’re used as a cash cow then you’re narrowing your chances. Perhaps look at profiles of single guys who have a load of veri’s and see what they’re doing right." I will give any information required when asked it’s not that I don’t want to accommodate it’s that I can’t and will happily explain why if someone wants to get to know me. Never said I don’t want to go to clubs I just find it hard when men pay double. My profile at the moment shows very little because in the past I have had my whole life pretty much on there and it made no difference. Just because some men get a lot of success you’re saying I should mirror their profiles then that would be dishonest and not truthful because it’s not me or my personality. | |||
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"How many guys have had enough on here constantly messaging and getting nowhere. Before you comment on profile it’s been changed numerous times and makes no difference I have tried introducing myself countless different ways. I understand more men on here than women so they are inundated but I seem to tick a lot of boxes but don’t even get a no thanks. I guess my looks just doesn’t appeal to women or couples. Just interested if others are like me and had enough and will be leaving after subscription runs out." Try having something on your profile that would make you stand out. Or, yes you have the option to leave the site. The choice is yours. | |||
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"Or how about the guys that say they want to meet, you make arrangements then they block you .. or just don't turn up or string you along " What has that to do with me, Can’t speak for them but I would never and have never done that just be honest and say no I don’t want to meet is my advice it would be nice to be given the opportunity | |||
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"How many guys have had enough on here constantly messaging and getting nowhere. Before you comment on profile it’s been changed numerous times and makes no difference I have tried introducing myself countless different ways. I understand more men on here than women so they are inundated but I seem to tick a lot of boxes but don’t even get a no thanks. I guess my looks just doesn’t appeal to women or couples. Just interested if others are like me and had enough and will be leaving after subscription runs out. Try having something on your profile that would make you stand out. Or, yes you have the option to leave the site. The choice is yours." I have tried that it made no difference hence the reason my profile says what it says now. I know very well it’s my choice to leave and will be doing so when subscription runs out in the meantime just going to tell a few home truths | |||
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"I think a break from FAB is exactly what you need. It’s pretty clear from your profile and your comments in this thread that you’re in a very negative place with it all and that alone will prevent meets. Have a break, go spend your spare time doing something else fun, take a breather and when you return you can write yourself a positive and witty bio which may help you spark some interest. " Thanks for the advice I maybe negative now but I didn’t used to be this site has made me that way after 3 yrs of flogging a dead horse so to speak. I will be taking a break permanently from here as stated earlier. | |||
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"It’s down to attraction it’s as simple as that. Also men may pay more to get into a club. But it’s about the same as what a woman would spend in prep for a club visit in my eyes, wax, nails, lingerie. I’m always happy to pay to get into a club and would pay more too. A lot more than sex for me." Weird math. What about men with lingerie, diesel to get there and back, fresh haircut, hot towel shave? See how weird that math is? | |||
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"Speaking as a couple who have had 0 meets in the last three years ( lack of time and lack of finding the right person , we are picky lol), it’s not the end of the world. But being this negative regardless on the reasoning behind it , is gunna dry up any chances of a meet, we personally would look the other way based on character alone. I get how frustrating it can be but if your not willing to put effort in , theirs little point being on fab as a single guy " I have put in the effort in the past and made no difference as previously stated. I am not being negative I am being truthful if it comes across as being negative well that’s the truth. I thought everyone wants honesty perhaps I should lie then I might get a response. This post is the most I have chatted to people in 3 yrs perhaps this is the way to go, just chat to people on comments and not bother with PM’s. But if that’s the case I don’t need to be on a swingers site any forum would do for interaction ?? | |||
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"It’s down to attraction it’s as simple as that. Also men may pay more to get into a club. But it’s about the same as what a woman would spend in prep for a club visit in my eyes, wax, nails, lingerie. I’m always happy to pay to get into a club and would pay more too. A lot more than sex for me. Weird math. What about men with lingerie, diesel to get there and back, fresh haircut, hot towel shave? See how weird that math is? " Couldn’t agree more | |||
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"It’s down to attraction it’s as simple as that. Also men may pay more to get into a club. But it’s about the same as what a woman would spend in prep for a club visit in my eyes, wax, nails, lingerie. I’m always happy to pay to get into a club and would pay more too. A lot more than sex for me. Weird math. What about men with lingerie, diesel to get there and back, fresh haircut, hot towel shave? See how weird that math is? Couldn’t agree more" Don't ladies have to pay for diesel as well or is that just a male thing? Take your point but don't think most men spend anywhere near as much as ladies on a pair of boxers, make-up, nails etc. and not sure many have a hot towell shave either | |||
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"I'm sorry you're finding it hard op. As others said though not accomodating will rule you out for some and smoking will rule you out for others. Fab is hard for men ,no doubt about it ,but some do very well on here too and they're not all hung with 6 Pacs either . Miss Are you attaching your face pic in messages ,I'm asking that with you saying people don't like your looks " Not everybody can accommodate for various reasons I don’t rule anyone out because they can’t accommodate after all a chat first would be nice then if things click then accommodation can be sought as and when by me or the other if people rule me out because I choose not to accommodate then I would rather not meet narrow minded people like that. I am sure some men do well. If you know their secret then share it as I am sure the rest of us would like to know the secret. Most of it I am sure will be down to confidence in a club environment. Yes I send a face pic and body pic on first message | |||
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"try being a straight couple 10years or more down the line now we tend to listen to swingers podcasts and enjoy others fun lol" Don’t know what you’re trying to say. There are plenty of straight m and f who play with couples. Just because somebody is Bi doesn’t mean they will automatically jump both your bones if you make it clear. Or do you mean you only want to play with straight couples again going by profiles and comments on other posts I would say there is plenty. As I am not a straight couple I am only guessing | |||
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"Just to make it clear I have no expectations of anyone on here just trying to make contact. I do wonder if anybody gets a meet on here judging by comments from m and f and couples. Or is there just a handful of people out of the thousands on here that are getting all the action. " I would imagine, like most dating apps etc, that a small percentage have a large selection of people to choose from. It is just the way of it and there are better apps (I find anyway) for arranging meets. The forums entertain me on here though, so it ain't all bad! Good luck and I hope you find whst youre looking for MrsAbz | |||
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"I'm sorry you're finding it hard op. As others said though not accomodating will rule you out for some and smoking will rule you out for others. Fab is hard for men ,no doubt about it ,but some do very well on here too and they're not all hung with 6 Pacs either . Miss Are you attaching your face pic in messages ,I'm asking that with you saying people don't like your looks Not everybody can accommodate for various reasons I don’t rule anyone out because they can’t accommodate after all a chat first would be nice then if things click then accommodation can be sought as and when by me or the other if people rule me out because I choose not to accommodate then I would rather not meet narrow minded people like that. I am sure some men do well. If you know their secret then share it as I am sure the rest of us would like to know the secret. Most of it I am sure will be down to confidence in a club environment. Yes I send a face pic and body pic on first message" You're v defensive op that's probably why you're getting the responses you are. You said further up you can't accom ,not that you choose not to. It does factor in meets accomodating ,as if the other person can't also it's much harder to meet. I appreciate you're v frustrated and it's clearly showing in this thread so maybe it does in any chats you have too. I don't claim to know the answers to why some men do well,but you've been given lots of advice and tips Enjoy your evening Miss | |||
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"How many guys have had enough on here constantly messaging and getting nowhere. Before you comment on profile it’s been changed numerous times and makes no difference I have tried introducing myself countless different ways. I understand more men on here than women so they are inundated but I seem to tick a lot of boxes but don’t even get a no thanks. I guess my looks just doesn’t appeal to women or couples. Just interested if others are like me and had enough and will be leaving after subscription runs out." Hi op Ticking boxes needs to apply both sides as well as attraction. Whilst guys may out number women on here, it's going to differ per location how many are on here. Clubs is another option | |||
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"Youll get a lot more sex on pof, tinder etc etc etc than you ever will from Fab " when I was single just a couple of years ago I got lots of action from the main dating sites. Match, pof and tinder. Met some lovely women. | |||
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"Just to make it clear I have no expectations of anyone on here just trying to make contact. I do wonder if anybody gets a meet on here judging by comments from m and f and couples. Or is there just a handful of people out of the thousands on here that are getting all the action. " Unfortunately fab is no different to life in general. If you’re blessed with coming from a better gene pool when it comes to physical appearance and are confident in talking to people, it is likely that you’ll get more action. Given the ratio of women to men on fab, the ladies can afford to be more selective. You also need to factor in all the fakes or voyeurs that you would never get to meet. If your only reason for being on fab is to get your leg over, you’ve probably come to the wrong place. I’m not saying it would never happen but you have to approach it philosophically and if it’s meant to happen it will. | |||
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"The men all saying there leaving in there statues rarely do. I don't get why your hanging around if its bringing you so much negativity and no joy? As others have said maybe try socials/clubs. Or just a break or leave. " It’s attention seeking. They don’t leave. | |||
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"I'm sorry you're finding it hard op. As others said though not accomodating will rule you out for some and smoking will rule you out for others. Fab is hard for men ,no doubt about it ,but some do very well on here too and they're not all hung with 6 Pacs either . Miss Are you attaching your face pic in messages ,I'm asking that with you saying people don't like your looks Not everybody can accommodate for various reasons I don’t rule anyone out because they can’t accommodate after all a chat first would be nice then if things click then accommodation can be sought as and when by me or the other if people rule me out because I choose not to accommodate then I would rather not meet narrow minded people like that. I am sure some men do well. If you know their secret then share it as I am sure the rest of us would like to know the secret. Most of it I am sure will be down to confidence in a club environment. Yes I send a face pic and body pic on first message You're v defensive op that's probably why you're getting the responses you are. You said further up you can't accom ,not that you choose not to. It does factor in meets accomodating ,as if the other person can't also it's much harder to meet. I appreciate you're v frustrated and it's clearly showing in this thread so maybe it does in any chats you have too. I don't claim to know the answers to why some men do well,but you've been given lots of advice and tips Enjoy your evening Miss" Thanks for the response but I am negative due to the lack of response up to now. I really don’t understand why accommodate or not seems to be the issue according to most comments. If I said I could accommodate how many f or couples would suddenly go he’s the one for me don’t care what he looks like or his attitude probably 1 or 2 based on the numbers on here which you can only know when you meet someone otherwise your being judged on a few short sentences on a profile and few photos that are visible. People need to take the time to get to know someone and stop judging based on a profile. Never judge a book by its cover | |||
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"it a tuff scene for men and its simply down to % and attraction.. if 90% of men left the scene there would still be too many left and it would still be hard ...as it should be its swinging not free sex for all ...alot of men forget about the attraction bit and think swinging is a case of got a cock and use it....." | |||
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"Just to make it clear I have no expectations of anyone on here just trying to make contact. I do wonder if anybody gets a meet on here judging by comments from m and f and couples. Or is there just a handful of people out of the thousands on here that are getting all the action. " We used to arrange all our meets through fab, but we actually prefer going to clubs and just making connections We barely message at all on fab now, clubs are the way forward. We've met a fair number of single guys in clubs who we wouldn't even have replied to on here, and played with a fair number of single men too in clubs | |||
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"Personally I gave up on no thanks messages long ago. While most respect it, thank me and move on, some see it as an opening, a challenge and become extremely abusive when they don't get the engagement they were hoping for. I may not talk for the majority of women but that's my input. I'd rather ignore than get subjected to abuse from a stranger and called all manner of names. Lesser of 2 evils" spot on .... most i just block if there no interest im lucky if i answer 1 guy in a week and that could be from 100s of messages ...no attraction no meets simple as that and its not just attraction neither it how you come across too at a guess id say i may like someone every 500/600 messages thats alot of messages to go thru but thankfully most of them are hi hows you or fancy a fuck types insant block delete but the good new is in amongst all there are some lush men | |||
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"Youll get a lot more sex on pof, tinder etc etc etc than you ever will from Fab " I now realise this, fab is not for me and judging by all the DMs I have had from single guys they would agree. Fab is only good for forums my post is proof over 100 views on my profile today in less than 10 hrs, more than I have had in 3 yrs on here. The only DM’s I have recieved today is from single guys agreeing. Yet 80 odd f or m or couples have checked out my profile to see what all the fuss is about and still not 1 msg wanting to get to know me. It’s all very strange and laughable | |||
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"Personally I gave up on no thanks messages long ago. While most respect it, thank me and move on, some see it as an opening, a challenge and become extremely abusive when they don't get the engagement they were hoping for. I may not talk for the majority of women but that's my input. I'd rather ignore than get subjected to abuse from a stranger and called all manner of names. Lesser of 2 evils spot on .... most i just block if there no interest im lucky if i answer 1 guy in a week and that could be from 100s of messages ...no attraction no meets simple as that and its not just attraction neither it how you come across too at a guess id say i may like someone every 500/600 messages thats alot of messages to go thru but thankfully most of them are hi hows you or fancy a fuck types insant block delete but the good new is in amongst all there are some lush men " Yes we do exist contrary to popular opinion. There are some real men that do want get to know someone and can also perform when the time is right we just get lost in the trash along with time wasters and non real profiles. | |||
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"Youll get a lot more sex on pof, tinder etc etc etc than you ever will from Fab I now realise this, fab is not for me and judging by all the DMs I have had from single guys they would agree. Fab is only good for forums my post is proof over 100 views on my profile today in less than 10 hrs, more than I have had in 3 yrs on here. The only DM’s I have recieved today is from single guys agreeing. Yet 80 odd f or m or couples have checked out my profile to see what all the fuss is about and still not 1 msg wanting to get to know me. It’s all very strange and laughable " Yet you’re still on?.. | |||
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"Why do people saying leaving after the subscription runs out? Why not just leave if they want to, it’s not a lot of money. Anyway, OP sounds like a fab break rather than leaving might be the answer. Even a few days off can be a tonic. " Drama? Attention? | |||
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"Youll get a lot more sex on pof, tinder etc etc etc than you ever will from Fab I now realise this, fab is not for me and judging by all the DMs I have had from single guys they would agree. Fab is only good for forums my post is proof over 100 views on my profile today in less than 10 hrs, more than I have had in 3 yrs on here. The only DM’s I have recieved today is from single guys agreeing. Yet 80 odd f or m or couples have checked out my profile to see what all the fuss is about and still not 1 msg wanting to get to know me. It’s all very strange and laughable Yet you’re still on?.." As previously stated until subscription runs out in the meantime telling so home truths which people will either agree with or disagree. I will leave when I am good and ready thanks. | |||
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"It's not a complete waste of time - we have met single guys off here bit it's always spur of the moment, not pre-planned. Sometimes it's been good other times not so much " Sounds like you have it dialled in good on you enjoy wish more were like you. | |||
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"It can be really frustrating. In fact, fabs is even more difficult than tinder these days. I get most of my dates the old fashioned way. Fabs is just an addition. " I found the opposite. Can find a meet once a month on tinder . Got nothing but time wasting fantasists on here which is why I only come here for the forums. | |||
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"Why do people saying leaving after the subscription runs out? Why not just leave if they want to, it’s not a lot of money. Anyway, OP sounds like a fab break rather than leaving might be the answer. Even a few days off can be a tonic. Drama? Attention? " No if I wanted that I would join the local am-dram society. Just saying it like it is. To hopefully wake others up to not believing what you see or read. You only know someone once you have met them and then made an informed decision. Not judging a book by its cover. | |||
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"Why do people saying leaving after the subscription runs out? Why not just leave if they want to, it’s not a lot of money. Anyway, OP sounds like a fab break rather than leaving might be the answer. Even a few days off can be a tonic. Drama? Attention? No if I wanted that I would join the local am-dram society. Just saying it like it is. To hopefully wake others up to not believing what you see or read. You only know someone once you have met them and then made an informed decision. Not judging a book by its cover." All of which is true. Just not sure what peoples expectations are for a free site where there are 10 or 20 times more men than women. Surely not that high? | |||
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"It can be really frustrating. In fact, fabs is even more difficult than tinder these days. I get most of my dates the old fashioned way. Fabs is just an addition. I found the opposite. Can find a meet once a month on tinder . Got nothing but time wasting fantasists on here which is why I only come here for the forums. " Oh know tinder is now going to be inundated with time wasters. You should have kept that quiet ?? back to old school way I think. Pub 10 pints in. “ hic all right doll hic get your coat you’ve pulled hic”. ( if you’re over 40 you have probably experienced this). ?? It used to work when I was 20 ?? | |||
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"Why do people saying leaving after the subscription runs out? Why not just leave if they want to, it’s not a lot of money. Anyway, OP sounds like a fab break rather than leaving might be the answer. Even a few days off can be a tonic. Drama? Attention? No if I wanted that I would join the local am-dram society. Just saying it like it is. To hopefully wake others up to not believing what you see or read. You only know someone once you have met them and then made an informed decision. Not judging a book by its cover." I'm confused? Don't believe peoples profiles? Is that what you mean by what I see or read? Even in real life, people instantly judge. So on a site where men vastly outnumber women... why would they need to give anyone who wasnt exactly what they wanted on fist glance, a chance? Not trying to be facetious but it seems silly to expext anything else MrsAbz | |||
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"It can be really frustrating. In fact, fabs is even more difficult than tinder these days. I get most of my dates the old fashioned way. Fabs is just an addition. I found the opposite. Can find a meet once a month on tinder . Got nothing but time wasting fantasists on here which is why I only come here for the forums. Oh know tinder is now going to be inundated with time wasters. You should have kept that quiet ?? back to old school way I think. Pub 10 pints in. “ hic all right doll hic get your coat you’ve pulled hic”. ( if you’re over 40 you have probably experienced this). ?? It used to work when I was 20 ??" lol it was the only way to meet back then . Before cable TV, the Internet and mobile phones..Technology has changed everything, even intimate human contact. The implications of this is huge and far reaching. | |||
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"Hey, I would suggest going to some club nights. Even if you just get chatting to someone and don't even play, getting yourself verified and recognised in the lifestyle helps loads. It is 100% harder for genuine guys on fab tho, A because lots of fake profiles and B there is just more of you. Xxx" Done and agree | |||
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"It can be really frustrating. In fact, fabs is even more difficult than tinder these days. I get most of my dates the old fashioned way. Fabs is just an addition. I found the opposite. Can find a meet once a month on tinder . Got nothing but time wasting fantasists on here which is why I only come here for the forums. Oh know tinder is now going to be inundated with time wasters. You should have kept that quiet ?? back to old school way I think. Pub 10 pints in. “ hic all right doll hic get your coat you’ve pulled hic”. ( if you’re over 40 you have probably experienced this). ?? It used to work when I was 20 ??lol it was the only way to meet back then . Before cable TV, the Internet and mobile phones..Technology has changed everything, even intimate human contact. The implications of this is huge and far reaching. " Absolutely I agree that’s why I am old school Face to face is the way forward be it in the pub or club or supermarket. I thought this might be the way for the intial hello as it were. But definitely not here for me anyway. Thanks for input. | |||
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"op the problem seem that you seem to think someone owes you a good time and they dont nobody owes you or anybody eles anything ...you seems to be a little on the entitled side ... people do judge a book by it cover when it comes to this life style or sex in general its the way the brain works its called attraction and thats looks followed by other things ... there no sympathy fucks on this swcene very few will fuck anything anywhere anytime cause thats not this lifestyle at all. and you saying your staying to put a few home truths out there lol all thats going to do is pull a crowd in to have a good laught at you cause there no home truths it just that up till now i guess nobody has been interested in you " Not sure he said he thinks anyone owes him a good time or anything else. | |||
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"op the problem seem that you seem to think someone owes you a good time and they dont nobody owes you or anybody eles anything ...you seems to be a little on the entitled side ... people do judge a book by it cover when it comes to this life style or sex in general its the way the brain works its called attraction and thats looks followed by other things ... there no sympathy fucks on this swcene very few will fuck anything anywhere anytime cause thats not this lifestyle at all. and you saying your staying to put a few home truths out there lol all thats going to do is pull a crowd in to have a good laught at you cause there no home truths it just that up till now i guess nobody has been interested in you " Well put. But he’s still here. He’ll still be here in 6 months time | |||
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"op the problem seem that you seem to think someone owes you a good time and they dont nobody owes you or anybody eles anything ...you seems to be a little on the entitled side ... people do judge a book by it cover when it comes to this life style or sex in general its the way the brain works its called attraction and thats looks followed by other things ... there no sympathy fucks on this swcene very few will fuck anything anywhere anytime cause thats not this lifestyle at all. and you saying your staying to put a few home truths out there lol all thats going to do is pull a crowd in to have a good laught at you cause there no home truths it just that up till now i guess nobody has been interested in you " I don’t expect nothing from none and never have, I you want to laugh at me go ahead others can to I doesn’t bother me I would like to meet honest non judgemental people as for me being entitled your far from the truth if you took time to get to know me, again proving the point you see you’re judging me and you don’t even know me. I would never judge you. I am guessing you will now rule me out fine no problem but me I wouldn’t do that as I appreciate everyone’s point of view may not agree or disagree with their comments. But wouldn’t rule anyone out until I have met them as they’re maybe other opinions they have that I applaud and that can’t happen until lengthy conversations or many meetings to get to know someone. As even with your best friend there must be things you disagree with but they’re still your best friend. The things said here is only a snapshot of me just as your profile and comment is only a snapshot of you. All I am saying is perhaps we all need to try and get to know each other before we rule each other out. | |||
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"Just looked at your bio ?? And you have a picture showing less the 25% of your face it's actually an ear picture. Honestly it's really not difficult to understand where the problem come from. " And your profile shows the same | |||
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"I have the exact same problem, I have changed my profile so many times I’ve lost count and I’ve tried every kind of approach you can imagine, nothing seems to work. As you can see from my verifications my last meet off here was New Year’s Eve 2013…..yes that’s almost 10 years ago. I can spend a Saturday evening messaging approx 40 people (single females and couples) who when I read their profiles I seem to fit what they are looking for, out of those messages I would say less than 10% even get read, and of those that do get read probably 5% at most reply with about a 5 word rejection reply " It's a shame that we are too old for you and not nearer. | |||
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"Why do people saying leaving after the subscription runs out? Why not just leave if they want to, it’s not a lot of money. Anyway, OP sounds like a fab break rather than leaving might be the answer. Even a few days off can be a tonic. Drama? Attention? No if I wanted that I would join the local am-dram society. Just saying it like it is. To hopefully wake others up to not believing what you see or read. You only know someone once you have met them and then made an informed decision. Not judging a book by its cover. I'm confused? Don't believe peoples profiles? Is that what you mean by what I see or read? Even in real life, people instantly judge. So on a site where men vastly outnumber women... why would they need to give anyone who wasnt exactly what they wanted on fist glance, a chance? Not trying to be facetious but it seems silly to expext anything else MrsAbz " I give everyone a chance don’t know what you’re saying either I am now getting confused this post started out asking a simple question it’s now developed into something completely different the internet wormhole bites again | |||
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"Just looked at your bio ?? And you have a picture showing less the 25% of your face it's actually an ear picture. Honestly it's really not difficult to understand where the problem come from. And your profile shows the same" No we have facial picture & a variety of body picture. | |||
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"op the problem seem that you seem to think someone owes you a good time and they dont nobody owes you or anybody eles anything ...you seems to be a little on the entitled side ... people do judge a book by it cover when it comes to this life style or sex in general its the way the brain works its called attraction and thats looks followed by other things ... there no sympathy fucks on this swcene very few will fuck anything anywhere anytime cause thats not this lifestyle at all. and you saying your staying to put a few home truths out there lol all thats going to do is pull a crowd in to have a good laught at you cause there no home truths it just that up till now i guess nobody has been interested in you I don’t expect nothing from none and never have, I you want to laugh at me go ahead others can to I doesn’t bother me I would like to meet honest non judgemental people as for me being entitled your far from the truth if you took time to get to know me, again proving the point you see you’re judging me and you don’t even know me. I would never judge you. I am guessing you will now rule me out fine no problem but me I wouldn’t do that as I appreciate everyone’s point of view may not agree or disagree with their comments. But wouldn’t rule anyone out until I have met them as they’re maybe other opinions they have that I applaud and that can’t happen until lengthy conversations or many meetings to get to know someone. As even with your best friend there must be things you disagree with but they’re still your best friend. The things said here is only a snapshot of me just as your profile and comment is only a snapshot of you. All I am saying is perhaps we all need to try and get to know each other before we rule each other out." But dont you understand that the probability is that the women you have messaged are getting hundreds of messages... do you think they should get to know hundreds of men? Even if you say 50 messages a week, that is too much to get to know and take a chance on. So to out they use profiles/pictures to reduce the number. It is the only sensible thing to do! So instantly judging based on what you see/read is the only way. I'm not trying to say people shouldnt judge instantly but what else is there to do? MrsAbz | |||
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"How many guys have had enough on here constantly messaging and getting nowhere. Before you comment on profile it’s been changed numerous times and makes no difference I have tried introducing myself countless different ways. I understand more men on here than women so they are inundated but I seem to tick a lot of boxes but don’t even get a no thanks. I guess my looks just doesn’t appeal to women or couples. Just interested if others are like me and had enough and will be leaving after subscription runs out." Plenty will leave but you will be replaced, an endless supply of men! | |||
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"How many guys have had enough on here constantly messaging and getting nowhere. Before you comment on profile it’s been changed numerous times and makes no difference I have tried introducing myself countless different ways. I understand more men on here than women so they are inundated but I seem to tick a lot of boxes but don’t even get a no thanks. I guess my looks just doesn’t appeal to women or couples. Just interested if others are like me and had enough and will be leaving after subscription runs out." We've been on here just over a year and can count on 1 hand the number of people we have properly connected with. All we'd like to do is meet like minded people for regular fun, and it's been a challenge finding genuine people. Keep being you - eventually the right people will connect with you Mrs | |||
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"In terms of your specific situation, it sounds like you’re ruling out all the things that make a difference: - going to clubs over and over again until you’re considered a regular - being able to accommodate or explaining why not (in broad terms - lots of people don’t want to fuck guys who are playing away without permission) - being positive and upbeat. No one owes you sex no matter how many messages you’ve sent out - realising most people aren’t meeting people ON Fab. They’re keeping up with friends they’ve made on the scene I could go on but I don’t think you want the suggestions. " There's obviously a case for managing your expectations on here , I understand that . But ,and theres always a but, its mainly down to the male female ratio imbalance and the horn driven approach of guys. I used to have a couples profile with my ex . The difference is crazy. It's really a different ball park compared to a single guys profile. It's a difficult situation to be in unless you have experienced it. | |||
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"keep seeing these threads and often descends into men vs women. Fabguys last time i logged in was 17.5 k men online . No women there to blame just men looking to meet men. And on forum there are as many posts there last time i read it about lack of reply to messages or can't get anyone to meet them that you see here. Its just numbers here women are out numbered by men. On fabguys the guys who top are out numbered by the guys who bottom. I am fully vers and normally look for similar so had it on my profile. If i changed it to Top, my mail went crazy even if my profile was basic with hardly any info. If i changed it to bottom very rare i got a message even if it was filled in with a lot of detail. I can also understand why a lot of people don't reply even to say no regardless if its a women or a man if replies they had in the past are like a lot i got sent,either why why why or nasty abuse.Remember if they never chatted to you before they have no idea how your going to react. But one thing that is most important is when the fun stops take a break.If constant no reply or rejection is getting to you walk away for a while its not good for the mental health. messaging more and more people each day is like buying more and more lotto tickets except instead of paying cash your paying with a little bit of your self esteem and mental health until you end up with none left. There is a lot also to be said about the internet people behind a keyboard are often very different in real life. your pub example is a good one,i doubt very much a man hits on every woman he see's in real life,in person you can hear tone of voice ,see if you look and they smile back or turn away and avoid looking at you.you get to read body language . Here its just lines of text and a few photo's . " Well said that man | |||
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"Or…. Let’s all just remember where’s a life outside of the internet… does it really matter? You don’t like the site? Come off. " Don't know about the site , but people need to just put their phones down a bit more . Too many people watching others lives while not living themselves. | |||
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"Well it’s been interesting but I think this post has drifted way off from my original question so I won’t be reading or commenting anymore. Happy fabbing and enjoy. Live love and laugh Don’t take yourself or others too seriously Don’t judge a book by its cover " So when you deleting your profile? | |||
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"I have found this site to be a really easy way to meet people for sex. I’m never exactly sure where men are going wrong because it’s not that difficult. There are lots and lots of people wanting sex. I guess ‘don’t be a dick’ is good advice. " Have you not found it getting more difficult in recent years tho ? Since covid for example ? I also managed to find meets but not anymore. | |||
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"Well it’s been interesting but I think this post has drifted way off from my original question so I won’t be reading or commenting anymore. Happy fabbing and enjoy. Live love and laugh Don’t take yourself or others too seriously Don’t judge a book by its cover " Indeed it has drifted and a few comments have been deleted for needlessly being bitchy or giving profile advice unnecessarily. | |||
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