FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Polite no thanks
Polite no thanks
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So I do generally send a polite no thank you when people message, well to those who read the profile anyway.
There seems to be an influx after the no thanks of supplying extra pics in the hope it changes our minds, it does baffle me a little, if I've said no thank you then a tit pic won't change that.
Has anyone else had this? It comes across very well hears what your missing kinda thing, would you continue to send photos after a no thank you?
Mrs |
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A polite no thanks would be lovely, but I fully understand most women and couple on here get bombarded by messages
But what you are saying about a load of messages and pictures after the no thanks is probably the thing that makes it less likely that people will send the polite no thanks message
As they say you have one chance to make a first impression so surely they should have sent the pictures before |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve had this. In a few occasions I eventually had to block them. What unsettles me is not the persistence it’s that they can’t take no for an answer on a message. So unlikely to respect others boundaries in person. |
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After a no thank you I wish them all the best, delete all messages and forget about them.
If the pictures on my profile and any i send aren’t what they are looking for I have no desire to try to change someone’s mind. |
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I don’t get too many messages so I used to send a polite “no thanks” messages to those who appeared sane enough for me to respond but yes, it usually followed with an implicit picture that feels like look what you’re missing out on  so yes, it is a thing.
Now I resorted to blocking everyone I think we’re not compatible with, it really makes the difference.
Harsh? Maybe. But it works for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We try to give a polite no thanks but sometimes we just delete as they obviously haven’t bothered reading the profile and yes , the follow up photos quite often do arrive along with another message which is then ignored |
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"I’ve had this. In a few occasions I eventually had to block them. What unsettles me is not the persistence it’s that they can’t take no for an answer on a message. So unlikely to respect others boundaries in person. "
This is exactly my thinking of they can't respect a no then they are unlikely to respect much else.
It does make me wonder if flashing tits after a no has ever changed anyone's mind.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People say no thanks to me before I've even messaged them 
But yeah, I think some are a tad delusional in thinking that if they keep messaging it will change.....
No means no 
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"So I do generally send a polite no thank you when people message, well to those who read the profile anyway.
There seems to be an influx after the no thanks of supplying extra pics in the hope it changes our minds, it does baffle me a little, if I've said no thank you then a tit pic won't change that.
Has anyone else had this? It comes across very well hears what your missing kinda thing, would you continue to send photos after a no thank you?
Mrs "
Happens all the time
I like to politely decline but as doom ax you reply they are on it again
Like it gives the green light to message again |
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By *hrimper36Couple
over a year ago
Central France dept 36 |
"So I do generally send a polite no thank you when people message, well to those who read the profile anyway.
There seems to be an influx after the no thanks of supplying extra pics in the hope it changes our minds, it does baffle me a little, if I've said no thank you then a tit pic won't change that.
Has anyone else had this? It comes across very well hears what your missing kinda thing, would you continue to send photos after a no thank you?
Mrs "
No never but we never send a first message so a no thank you isn’t really a thing.
It’s not an ego thing it’s a living in the middle of no where thing but honestly most of the men that get aa no thank you reply with a thank you.
T |
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
I have been here so long that I am brutal.
If I am not interested I just block and delete the thread. I can’t be bothered to read why someone believes that they can change my mind.
Plus once blocked they can’t message me again when they have forgotten I ignored them in the first place. |
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Think of the vast majority of single men on here like puppies, they are desperate for attention and will take even a negative as a positive. The polite no they got from you is likely the only interaction they have had from a woman on here in months. Before the #notallmen brigade start, yes we are aware it’s not all men but it’s enough to make any potential interaction a thing to worry about.
TLDR? We know why men behave like this but that doesn’t mean we should feel compelled to interact. Make your message worth reading and you’ll get a response, even if it is a no. Keep pestering after the polite no and you will earn a block.
Don’t make an effort in your first message (cut & paste is not an effort) and you won’t get a response. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had our first real idiot yesterday. He sent 2 messages last week, on the second one we replied with a very polite ‘sorry we are looking for girls and couples only’ he sent one back saying his girlfriend is there with him. I called him out and asked why he is on a single male profile then? He responded with a picture of a girls bum. We didn’t really go on here much over the weekend so didn’t see his message and when we did he had replied with a horrible comment about Mrs. A few clearly ruin it for the many. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I receive a polite "no thanks", then I'll politely thank them for a reply, wish them well, and move on. If somebody has made their mind up, it's not my place to then bombard them with pics/messages to try change it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like op, always to those that have read profile and at times those that have read it when I have told them to read it.
On our profile its easy to tell who has and had not read our profile
Most take the polite rejection well as they should as it saves all wasted time |
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By *onicZMan
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
"If I receive a polite "no thanks", then I'll politely thank them for a reply, wish them well, and move on. If somebody has made their mind up, it's not my place to then bombard them with pics/messages to try change it."
Totally agree with this. If someone's actually taken the time to look at my profile and decide I'm not for them then that's not an invitation to try and change their mind.
At the end of the day, no means no and that's that. At least they were kind enough to say no thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's the facility on here, it s called the block button !! It's easy to use, after you send a polite no thanks , USE IT"
Or you could just take a hint when someone politely says no thank you and not be an idiot about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I receive a polite "no thanks", then I'll politely thank them for a reply, wish them well, and move on. If somebody has made their mind up, it's not my place to then bombard them with pics/messages to try change it.
Totally agree with this. If someone's actually taken the time to look at my profile and decide I'm not for them then that's not an invitation to try and change their mind.
At the end of the day, no means no and that's that. At least they were kind enough to say no thanks. "
We do block but only after they send the 3r/4th message. I have no problem as I manage the acount and am strong minded and now who to chat/short list and who not
I block ASAP those that say stuff like "free tonight.. at hotel.. you want to meet etc"
Most will take the rejcection well and thank us for being honest |
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I use to send "no thanks" type messages but the abuse or convincing from some people reduced the number of people I reply too. I tend to only reply no thanks now to those who made it clear they read my bio and crafted a decent message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I get a polite no thanks reply I most certainly wouldn't dream of sending anymore messages, it's just rude and disrespectful
Obviously your just not for them end of |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I use to send "no thanks" type messages but the abuse or convincing from some people reduced the number of people I reply too. I tend to only reply no thanks now to those who made it clear they read my bio and crafted a decent message. "
Look at it like this, you have ed out the bs. I often asking probing questions, and it's easy to see who gets wound up easily and then a polite no and a block |
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"There's the facility on here, it s called the block button !! It's easy to use, after you send a polite no thanks , USE IT"
Shouty?! I shouldn't have to, I don't expect to be bombarded with pics after a polite no thank you.
Mrs |
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"I thought no thank you meant you wanted to see the next photo I had until you said "yes please miss" 
F"
Haha it does seem to be the case, as nice as the boobs were it was still a no
I had one I told she was too young this was years ago she sent like 40 pics and actually said this is what your missing out on, kinda just proved my point about the maturity levels.
Mrs |
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"Yea it honestly feels that the person has a tendency to act desperate when this happens and usually they end up getting blocked unfortunately "
It's annoying isn't it, people moan they don't get a no thank you and get ignored but you give the no thanks and get bombarded, it kind of feels not worth it.
Mrs |
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"Think of the vast majority of single men on here like puppies, they are desperate for attention and will take even a negative as a positive. The polite no they got from you is likely the only interaction they have had from a woman on here in months. Before the #notallmen brigade start, yes we are aware it’s not all men but it’s enough to make any potential interaction a thing to worry about.
TLDR? We know why men behave like this but that doesn’t mean we should feel compelled to interact. Make your message worth reading and you’ll get a response, even if it is a no. Keep pestering after the polite no and you will earn a block.
Don’t make an effort in your first message (cut & paste is not an effort) and you won’t get a response."
To be honest we get this most from women, men usually accept the no generally well but as we aren't looking for men they haven't a choice.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive noticed some people will persistently make contact until i reply ‘no thanks, not interested’. Surely me not responding to the first 15 messages, 2 winks and 3 friend requests was hint enough that i wasn't interested…. |
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I found when I said no interest / not for me I either got an abusive transphobic retort or the person / s just started begging / telling me I am wrong on not meeting them
Both are retarded so ignored |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"So I do generally send a polite no thank you when people message, well to those who read the profile anyway.
There seems to be an influx after the no thanks of supplying extra pics in the hope it changes our minds, it does baffle me a little, if I've said no thank you then a tit pic won't change that.
Has anyone else had this? It comes across very well hears what your missing kinda thing, would you continue to send photos after a no thank you?
Mrs "
tit pics lol you're turning down women with a polite no thanks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve had this. In a few occasions I eventually had to block them. What unsettles me is not the persistence it’s that they can’t take no for an answer on a message. So unlikely to respect others boundaries in person. "
That's my thinking too. |
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"So I do generally send a polite no thank you when people message, well to those who read the profile anyway.
There seems to be an influx after the no thanks of supplying extra pics in the hope it changes our minds, it does baffle me a little, if I've said no thank you then a tit pic won't change that.
Has anyone else had this? It comes across very well hears what your missing kinda thing, would you continue to send photos after a no thank you?
Mrs tit pics lol you're turning down women with a polite no thanks "
Yes believe it or not I don't sleep with every woman who messages
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I do generally send a polite no thank you when people message, well to those who read the profile anyway.
There seems to be an influx after the no thanks of supplying extra pics in the hope it changes our minds, it does baffle me a little, if I've said no thank you then a tit pic won't change that.
Has anyone else had this? It comes across very well hears what your missing kinda thing, would you continue to send photos after a no thank you?
Mrs "
Id rather get no message of no thanks. I understand silence as not interested. I move on and dont bother. |
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"So I do generally send a polite no thank you when people message, well to those who read the profile anyway.
There seems to be an influx after the no thanks of supplying extra pics in the hope it changes our minds, it does baffle me a little, if I've said no thank you then a tit pic won't change that.
Has anyone else had this? It comes across very well hears what your missing kinda thing, would you continue to send photos after a no thank you?
Mrs
Id rather get no message of no thanks. I understand silence as not interested. I move on and dont bother. "
Unfortunately not many see silence as the polite no thank you it's ment to be, they'll repeat send until you reply or block.
Plus so many posts on forums saying "how hard is it to say no thanks" so I try be polite I guess.
Can't please everyone 
Mrs |
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"I use to send "no thanks" type messages but the abuse or convincing from some people reduced the number of people I reply too. I tend to only reply no thanks now to those who made it clear they read my bio and crafted a decent message.
Look at it like this, you have ed out the bs. I often asking probing questions, and it's easy to see who gets wound up easily and then a polite no and a block"
Completely agree that they show themselves quite early on, it's a good filter, but it gets a bit much when it becomes constant. I think your approach is a great approach. It determines compatibility very quickly.
I'm quite lucky that I don't get loads of messages anymore, but I also think that because my block list is almost full. |
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The problem is that for some a polite thanks, but no thanks, makes them go shit or bust. At that point they have nothing to lose, so might as well chance their arm. If they do, the appropriate response at that point is the block button. |
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I experimented with polite no thanks.
I got a hell of a lot more abuse, whining (but whyyyyy) or attempts to manipulate me to change my mind.
I can see why people do it, in other circumstances I'd prefer to do it, but my experience has taught me not to bother. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I use to send "no thanks" type messages but the abuse or convincing from some people reduced the number of people I reply too. I tend to only reply no thanks now to those who made it clear they read my bio and crafted a decent message.
Look at it like this, you have ed out the bs. I often asking probing questions, and it's easy to see who gets wound up easily and then a polite no and a block
Completely agree that they show themselves quite early on, it's a good filter, but it gets a bit much when it becomes constant. I think your approach is a great approach. It determines compatibility very quickly.
I'm quite lucky that I don't get loads of messages anymore, but I also think that because my block list is almost full."
Thank you. Today, we've had laods, many just loggged on within the last few days and many just post several words and not even lie about reading profile - I just ignore or block so not to be pstered again
If you are a couple or a lady here - test them with probing, meanfing questions imo and those not genuine or pushy etc will soon show their colur and blank.
We have come across several really nice guys but all far away but we are hoping to meet one on the south coast and will contact the guy when we have booked |
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"We get it on occasion but not as much as some of you.
Not even cake or bacon butty messages? "
I don't mind those.....you've never sent any though.
My wife may be interested from a single guy not so much.
Can't/won't/don't read profiles are the most annoying |
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"The problem is that for some a polite thanks, but no thanks, makes them go shit or bust. At that point they have nothing to lose, so might as well chance their arm. If they do, the appropriate response at that point is the block button."
Fair enough, I get that, it's a bit like answering spam email, it then guarantees a deluge....but as you say that's what the block button is for.
But reading the stories on here, rather lose hope in your fellow man. Perhaps a new verification button is needed....the not a delusional twat single chap? |
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"The problem is that for some a polite thanks, but no thanks, makes them go shit or bust. At that point they have nothing to lose, so might as well chance their arm. If they do, the appropriate response at that point is the block button.
Fair enough, I get that, it's a bit like answering spam email, it then guarantees a deluge....but as you say that's what the block button is for.
But reading the stories on here, rather lose hope in your fellow man. Perhaps a new verification button is needed....the not a delusional twat single chap?"
Lol, like a good guy or top bloke badge? |
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"The problem is that for some a polite thanks, but no thanks, makes them go shit or bust. At that point they have nothing to lose, so might as well chance their arm. If they do, the appropriate response at that point is the block button.
Fair enough, I get that, it's a bit like answering spam email, it then guarantees a deluge....but as you say that's what the block button is for.
But reading the stories on here, rather lose hope in your fellow man. Perhaps a new verification button is needed....the not a delusional twat single chap?"
I do find it a little strange most have presumed these message I made the post about are from men when it's actually the women.
Mrs |
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"The problem is that for some a polite thanks, but no thanks, makes them go shit or bust. At that point they have nothing to lose, so might as well chance their arm. If they do, the appropriate response at that point is the block button.
Fair enough, I get that, it's a bit like answering spam email, it then guarantees a deluge....but as you say that's what the block button is for.
But reading the stories on here, rather lose hope in your fellow man. Perhaps a new verification button is needed....the not a delusional twat single chap?
I do find it a little strange most have presumed these message I made the post about are from men when it's actually the women.
Mrs "
Now I'm confused....you are saying you get a shed load of abuse from single women?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t understand what people think they have to gain by sending abuse after they’ve been rejected. By sending abuse, they’re only confirming that the initial decision of ‘no thanks’ is correct. |
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"The problem is that for some a polite thanks, but no thanks, makes them go shit or bust. At that point they have nothing to lose, so might as well chance their arm. If they do, the appropriate response at that point is the block button.
Fair enough, I get that, it's a bit like answering spam email, it then guarantees a deluge....but as you say that's what the block button is for.
But reading the stories on here, rather lose hope in your fellow man. Perhaps a new verification button is needed....the not a delusional twat single chap?
I do find it a little strange most have presumed these message I made the post about are from men when it's actually the women.
Mrs
Now I'm confused....you are saying you get a shed load of abuse from single women?!"
I wouldn't say abuse, I give the no thank you, I get bombarded with pics of look what your missing..... It seems rather childish and a little strange, I've already said no thanks another tit pic isn't going to change my mind.
Mrs |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"We get it on occasion but not as much as some of you.
Not even cake or bacon butty messages?
I don't mind those.....you've never sent any though.
My wife may be interested from a single guy not so much.
Can't/won't/don't read profiles are the most annoying "
Mine is bloody stupid, but.....
I don't like to be a pest, so don't message much. |
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"I don’t understand what people think they have to gain by sending abuse after they’ve been rejected. By sending abuse, they’re only confirming that the initial decision of ‘no thanks’ is correct. "
But you’re not taking into consideration the sense of entitlement and fragile egos of some of the people on fab. We should be grateful they have graced fab with their presence and any woman/man/couple fortunate enough to be contacted by them should jump at the chance of meeting and experiencing the ultimate in sexual pleasure!
The alternative is to block them. |
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"The problem is that for some a polite thanks, but no thanks, makes them go shit or bust. At that point they have nothing to lose, so might as well chance their arm. If they do, the appropriate response at that point is the block button.
Fair enough, I get that, it's a bit like answering spam email, it then guarantees a deluge....but as you say that's what the block button is for.
But reading the stories on here, rather lose hope in your fellow man. Perhaps a new verification button is needed....the not a delusional twat single chap?
I do find it a little strange most have presumed these message I made the post about are from men when it's actually the women.
Mrs
Now I'm confused....you are saying you get a shed load of abuse from single women?!
I wouldn't say abuse, I give the no thank you, I get bombarded with pics of look what your missing..... It seems rather childish and a little strange, I've already said no thanks another tit pic isn't going to change my mind.
Mrs "
I didn't realise you are high profile, fab royalty!
I hope I've shown the appropriate level of respect! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly from experience a polite no thank you can become pretty nasty. A dented ego can be pretty horrible to deal with. Insults, abuse etc. It's just not worth it. While I know this is not what all people would do, the times it has happened has really put me off.
For that reason I tend to just ignore |
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we also get a few "look at what you'r missing" seems a bit needy to us and most of them are form guys tbh, suppose that's because we don't have many mr pics up.
I dose put us of saying thanks but no thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This all sounds so familiar, we recieve a message, we reply with a polite 'no thank-you' then in most cases, a barrage of messages with "why not" or if someone messages from the other end of the country "we'll come to you" or "i know where Burland is, it's only a small place, which road are you on" despite it being very clear on our profile about distance ffs.....
Not long after, the abusive messages flood in, so only one option = BLOCK!! Why do people have to be so nasty? |
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"OP I can imagine you are inundated with offers from men, women, couples all the time. You are high profile and really, really good looking.
But.
No means no, the sooner people get that the better."
Thank you that's really kind, however we really aren't inundated.
I think I'm just going to stop replying the no thanks and ignore.
Mrs |
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"The problem is that for some a polite thanks, but no thanks, makes them go shit or bust. At that point they have nothing to lose, so might as well chance their arm. If they do, the appropriate response at that point is the block button.
Fair enough, I get that, it's a bit like answering spam email, it then guarantees a deluge....but as you say that's what the block button is for.
But reading the stories on here, rather lose hope in your fellow man. Perhaps a new verification button is needed....the not a delusional twat single chap?
I do find it a little strange most have presumed these message I made the post about are from men when it's actually the women.
Mrs
Now I'm confused....you are saying you get a shed load of abuse from single women?!
I wouldn't say abuse, I give the no thank you, I get bombarded with pics of look what your missing..... It seems rather childish and a little strange, I've already said no thanks another tit pic isn't going to change my mind.
Mrs
I didn't realise you are high profile, fab royalty!
I hope I've shown the appropriate level of respect!"
Excuse me? I'm not sure if that's a sarcastic response if so there's no need, if not no one is fab royalty I hate that term we are all here for the same thing, there's no one any better than anyone else here.
Mrs |
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"OP I can imagine you are inundated with offers from men, women, couples all the time. You are high profile and really, really good looking.
But.
No means no, the sooner people get that the better.
Thank you that's really kind, however we really aren't inundated.
I think I'm just going to stop replying the no thanks and ignore.
Mrs "
The fact you even replied "no thanks" at all says the kind of people you are, polite, kind and caring. Combine that with sexy, that's why you are in high demand, people recognise that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would honestly say I am a guy that falls into the solid 7 range, some think I’m nice others don’t. Life is such.
If I get a polite no thanks, which happened the other day, I do reply with a short email stating that I appreciated the email, say the world would be dull if we all liked the same thing and wish them well. I then, as I do with the odd dm that is deleted without a response, is use the private notes feature. Put a line that I was not their type or the dm wasn’t responded to and then I don’t contact them again.
That being said, I have had a few reach back out to me over time asking to meet….and I’ve politely said no thanks.
You have to hold respect for others here, they are allowed to say no if and when they want to. There’s never any need for people to be arseholes to each other, |
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"The problem is that for some a polite thanks, but no thanks, makes them go shit or bust. At that point they have nothing to lose, so might as well chance their arm. If they do, the appropriate response at that point is the block button.
Fair enough, I get that, it's a bit like answering spam email, it then guarantees a deluge....but as you say that's what the block button is for.
But reading the stories on here, rather lose hope in your fellow man. Perhaps a new verification button is needed....the not a delusional twat single chap?
I do find it a little strange most have presumed these message I made the post about are from men when it's actually the women.
Mrs
Now I'm confused....you are saying you get a shed load of abuse from single women?!
I wouldn't say abuse, I give the no thank you, I get bombarded with pics of look what your missing..... It seems rather childish and a little strange, I've already said no thanks another tit pic isn't going to change my mind.
Mrs
I didn't realise you are high profile, fab royalty!
I hope I've shown the appropriate level of respect!
Excuse me? I'm not sure if that's a sarcastic response if so there's no need, if not no one is fab royalty I hate that term we are all here for the same thing, there's no one any better than anyone else here.
Mrs "
Apologies was meant to be a jokey comment that didn't come out right. |
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"The problem is that for some a polite thanks, but no thanks, makes them go shit or bust. At that point they have nothing to lose, so might as well chance their arm. If they do, the appropriate response at that point is the block button.
Fair enough, I get that, it's a bit like answering spam email, it then guarantees a deluge....but as you say that's what the block button is for.
But reading the stories on here, rather lose hope in your fellow man. Perhaps a new verification button is needed....the not a delusional twat single chap?
I do find it a little strange most have presumed these message I made the post about are from men when it's actually the women.
Mrs
Now I'm confused....you are saying you get a shed load of abuse from single women?!
I wouldn't say abuse, I give the no thank you, I get bombarded with pics of look what your missing..... It seems rather childish and a little strange, I've already said no thanks another tit pic isn't going to change my mind.
Mrs
I didn't realise you are high profile, fab royalty!
I hope I've shown the appropriate level of respect!
Excuse me? I'm not sure if that's a sarcastic response if so there's no need, if not no one is fab royalty I hate that term we are all here for the same thing, there's no one any better than anyone else here.
Mrs
Apologies was meant to be a jokey comment that didn't come out right."
No need to apologise it was me who read it wrong so apologies from me.
Mrs |
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We've always tried to reply with a polite no thank you, especially if they have actually taken the time to read our profile. But recently we've received quite a lot of abuse from responding no thanks. So kind of puts you off taking the time to reply unfortunately. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not a chance. If the others have said we’re not for them then we thank them for letting us know and move on 
It’s the demanding “whys” after a polite no thank you that frustrate us.
Mr |
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"I reply thanks for letting me know and that's the end of it for me. Some guys are just so desperate or high they don't give a crap... "
This post was actually about the women in our inbox not the men.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I reply thanks for letting me know and that's the end of it for me. Some guys are just so desperate or high they don't give a crap...
This post was actually about the women in our inbox not the men.
Mrs "
My bad  XD |
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