FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Red flag
Red flag
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I find on here and dating sites, especially the ones where you have to start the conversation. Most men on there and here never really ask questions about you, like strike up a normal conversation. Just either answer your questions like it's a job interview or not alot else. Most don't even bother asking for your face photo. Red flag? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Chances are I’m Banging you from behind anyway, so as long as your body is in point, who needs a face pic?…
Let’s read the majority of self entitled and aggressive profiles from woman?…you’ve answered most questions anyway, we may have already built a picture …
^just 2 examples why some people might not ask questions. 
I agree, not really RED FLAGS but it is disheartening when you realise they asked nothing about you. My conversation normally drifts off by then, that’s what it would be like interacting face to face, and it would be little fun. I need small talk, I need interactions.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have to hand it to both the above men that have answered so far
Excellent comments to the OP, showing no signs of desperation
MEN if you were all the same the single women wouldn’t be able to behave as so many of you say they do on here
You hang yourselves |
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
"Chances are I’m Banging you from behind anyway, so as long as your body is in point, who needs a face pic?…
Let’s read the majority of self entitled and aggressive profiles from woman?…you’ve answered most questions anyway, we may have already built a picture …
^just 2 examples why some people might not ask questions.
I agree, not really RED FLAGS but it is disheartening when you realise they asked nothing about you. My conversation normally drifts off by then, that’s what it would be like interacting face to face, and it would be little fun. I need small talk, I need interactions. "
But. Why bother messaging, when you could just stay home and have a wank? I don’t get it. How is this meant to go?
“Hi. How r u?”
“Horny. Wuup2?
“Free now. Wanna bang?”
“Yup. NE1 4ME, number 69. Door’s open.”
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Your profile is well written. There is no excuse for someone to not write a proper message when starting a conversation.
There are plenty of profiles with one or two pictures but nothing written on the profile which makes it really hard to write a personalised conversation starter.
I would also like to point out that the reverse is even worse. Most women/couples just wink when they want to show interest. From their perspective, that's good enough to get a single male's attention.
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"I find on here and dating sites, especially the ones where you have to start the conversation. Most men on there and here never really ask questions about you, like strike up a normal conversation. Just either answer your questions like it's a job interview or not alot else. Most don't even bother asking for your face photo. Red flag?"
I find it the opposite to what you’re explaining. Put the effort in and send a nice message, referencing something that I like in their profile, ask questions and you end up with 1 word & bland replies. I want to ask all the questions as I want to know all about the person I’m chatting too, surely by asking the questions shows interest to be hit with a “couldn’t be bothered” reply, sometimes no reply be a better reply imo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get men asking me questions, but usually crude questions about sex.
Now I'm no prude in the slightest and can be as slutty as the next girl, but please get to know me first before talking about sex. |
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Maybe I'm a man then, I find if someone asks too many personal questions that I get so put off I will just block them to get away from it, and I can count the number of times I've asked for a face pic on one hand. |
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"Maybe I'm a man then, I find if someone asks too many personal questions that I get so put off I will just block them to get away from it, and I can count the number of times I've asked for a face pic on one hand."
Not have to be personal just show interest as you as a person rather than let's fuck or let's talk about me all the time |
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"I get men asking me questions, but usually crude questions about sex.
Now I'm no prude in the slightest and can be as slutty as the next girl, but please get to know me first before talking about sex."
Exactly that's all I get is grim sex talk. It's not even sexy at all. Just act like perverted desperate man |
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"I find on here and dating sites, especially the ones where you have to start the conversation. Most men on there and here never really ask questions about you, like strike up a normal conversation. Just either answer your questions like it's a job interview or not alot else. Most don't even bother asking for your face photo. Red flag?
I find it the opposite to what you’re explaining. Put the effort in and send a nice message, referencing something that I like in their profile, ask questions and you end up with 1 word & bland replies. I want to ask all the questions as I want to know all about the person I’m chatting too, surely by asking the questions shows interest to be hit with a “couldn’t be bothered” reply, sometimes no reply be a better reply imo"
Maybe it's too much at once? I don't like the long intro of their life story and asking about mine. Just normal chat. Surely you wouldn't do that to someone you met in a pub..or would you? Just find normal conversations a rarity these days online. |
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"Your profile is well written. There is no excuse for someone to not write a proper message when starting a conversation.
There are plenty of profiles with one or two pictures but nothing written on the profile which makes it really hard to write a personalised conversation starter.
I would also like to point out that the reverse is even worse. Most women/couples just wink when they want to show interest. From their perspective, that's good enough to get a single male's attention.
"
Before I blocked couples, I would generally get polite messages, often from the female side asking if i like to meet them. But I'm not interested in women at all so didn't really see the point so I blocked. Most men who message me say vulgar, weird, or just say hi. I love to just have a normal 2 way conversation. |
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"I find on here and dating sites, especially the ones where you have to start the conversation. Most men on there and here never really ask questions about you, like strike up a normal conversation. Just either answer your questions like it's a job interview or not alot else. Most don't even bother asking for your face photo. Red flag?
I find it the opposite to what you’re explaining. Put the effort in and send a nice message, referencing something that I like in their profile, ask questions and you end up with 1 word & bland replies. I want to ask all the questions as I want to know all about the person I’m chatting too, surely by asking the questions shows interest to be hit with a “couldn’t be bothered” reply, sometimes no reply be a better reply imo
Maybe it's too much at once? I don't like the long intro of their life story and asking about mine. Just normal chat. Surely you wouldn't do that to someone you met in a pub..or would you? Just find normal conversations a rarity these days online."
Yeah of course. I’m Irish, you put me in a pub and give me a beer and I’ll chat the head off you 
But I get what you’re saying also. You can put effort in to a message without over doing it, can’t force/expect the person to converse like you do/would like too.
I’m sure amongst all the 1 word and bland replies, there are some diamonds in the mud.
I can also understand why some ladies send a 1 word reply. You could be the lucky guy who gets a message read out of an inbox filled with 100s of “wanna fuck” type messages either and by the time your message has been got too, they’ve already been fucked off by the same repeated/copy and paste shite. Take it on the chin and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On the other hand, I do ask questions of women and couples, and generally get one or two word responses to messages that still manage to avoid answering my questions and it often feels like trying to get blood out of a stone.
After a few such responses I usually give up |
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"Chances are I’m Banging you from behind anyway, so as long as your body is in point, who needs a face pic?…
Let’s read the majority of self entitled and aggressive profiles from woman?…you’ve answered most questions anyway, we may have already built a picture …
^just 2 examples why some people might not ask questions.
I agree, not really RED FLAGS but it is disheartening when you realise they asked nothing about you. My conversation normally drifts off by then, that’s what it would be like interacting face to face, and it would be little fun. I need small talk, I need interactions. "
What do you perceive as aggressive profiles? Telling the world what you desire should be celebrated as it shows clarity. Through experience, you learn quickly what turns you on or off. Why not explain that from the beginning? |
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By *9alMan
over a year ago
Bridgend |
"I find on here and dating sites, especially the ones where you have to start the conversation. Most men on there and here never really ask questions about you, like strike up a normal conversation. Just either answer your questions like it's a job interview or not alot else. Most don't even bother asking for your face photo. Red flag?"
I suppose its the old "why look at the mantelpiece when you are poking the fire" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On the other hand, I do ask questions of women and couples, and generally get one or two word responses to messages that still manage to avoid answering my questions and it often feels like trying to get blood out of a stone.
After a few such responses I usually give up"
And quite often these will be to profiles that they themselves demand more than just a 'Hi' or 'How are you' message. |
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"On the other hand, I do ask questions of women and couples, and generally get one or two word responses to messages that still manage to avoid answering my questions and it often feels like trying to get blood out of a stone.
After a few such responses I usually give up"
Sounds like they weren't interested in the first place and thinking afew words is a polite way to say they're really not interested? |
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By *apybarasCouple
over a year ago
High Lighthouse! |
"Reckon you're chatting to the wrong men
Which is the majority of fab? I been on this site for long time ya know, it doesn't get any better
"
Most of us communicate with our friends and family through the likes of WhatsApp. You'd think that by now people would have got the hang of it?!
So maybe it is a red flag, an indication they can't be arsed to put effort in (even if it often leads to disappointment).
Self-deselecting... |
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Red Flags - silhouette profile, no pics, just pics of cocks, no verifications, no verbage on profile or ‘will fill in later’ when they’ve been on Fab for a year! Friend requests before chatting. One word, text speak or crude messages.
We try to reply to all messages, but sometimes the sender really does not deserve it. Make the effort and get to know the person you are chatting with. We aim to meet in Clubs, when we are there we expect to chat with people we are interested in before anything happens - it should be the same on here… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m dating apps I prefer to meet up then chat for ages. Because when you talk over text you kind of only read things back in your own mindset. So you don’t really know where the person is coming from. So you kind of build up the expectation, which may be, positive or potentially negative. So we’ve matched clearly attracted. Let’s go for a drink and see if there’s chemistry. After all, you don’t walk up to someone in the bar and say hi would you mind writing down a few things about yourself that I can read before I decide whether or not I want to talk to you in person |
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By *evonrobMan
over a year ago
Kingsbridge |
"I find on here and dating sites, especially the ones where you have to start the conversation. Most men on there and here never really ask questions about you, like strike up a normal conversation. Just either answer your questions like it's a job interview or not alot else. Most don't even bother asking for your face photo. Red flag?"
You sound and look delightful. There is clearly a lot more to you than your gorgeous figure so I’d say it’s in every man’s interest to interact with you rather more than just an interview style session! Might not be me though! |
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On here and on dating sites men out number women HUGELY, making it very much a 'buyers market' for the ladies. So the guys straight away need to be selling, trying to show off what they can offer. Maybe one or two points from the ladies profile might be raised in and open statement or question - but an 'interrogation by message' is not the way to go (or speaking personally, not the way I would go).
As I understand it, most women receive lots of messages daily, so short replies are often the norm. This can set up a dilemma for the male - to send a short reply, as this could be what the lady likes; to persist with longer reply in the hope she will open up and talk more freely; or to take the hint, that a short reply shows a lack of interest.
To some extent contact and dating sites are what we have made them. (Sorry, I can offer no insight into short crude first messages, but maybe someone replies to them, or why would guys persist???) |
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"On here and on dating sites men out number women HUGELY, making it very much a 'buyers market' for the ladies. So the guys straight away need to be selling, trying to show off what they can offer. Maybe one or two points from the ladies profile might be raised in and open statement or question - but an 'interrogation by message' is not the way to go (or speaking personally, not the way I would go).
As I understand it, most women receive lots of messages daily, so short replies are often the norm. This can set up a dilemma for the male - to send a short reply, as this could be what the lady likes; to persist with longer reply in the hope she will open up and talk more freely; or to take the hint, that a short reply shows a lack of interest.
To some extent contact and dating sites are what we have made them. (Sorry, I can offer no insight into short crude first messages, but maybe someone replies to them, or why would guys persist???)"
I'm more talking about men I shown interest in to start a conversation. They don't seem to want to say too much to entice me to want to meet and fuck them. Called me old fashioned, but I like a nice conversation first to show we can click |
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"On here and on dating sites men out number women HUGELY, making it very much a 'buyers market' for the ladies. So the guys straight away need to be selling, trying to show off what they can offer. Maybe one or two points from the ladies profile might be raised in and open statement or question - but an 'interrogation by message' is not the way to go (or speaking personally, not the way I would go).
As I understand it, most women receive lots of messages daily, so short replies are often the norm. This can set up a dilemma for the male - to send a short reply, as this could be what the lady likes; to persist with longer reply in the hope she will open up and talk more freely; or to take the hint, that a short reply shows a lack of interest.
To some extent contact and dating sites are what we have made them. (Sorry, I can offer no insight into short crude first messages, but maybe someone replies to them, or why would guys persist???)
I'm more talking about men I shown interest in to start a conversation. They don't seem to want to say too much to entice me to want to meet and fuck them. Called me old fashioned, but I like a nice conversation first to show we can click "
You look like a very good looking woman from your profile pics, maybe they feel you’re out of their league? |
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"I find on here and dating sites, especially the ones where you have to start the conversation. Most men on there and here never really ask questions about you, like strike up a normal conversation. Just either answer your questions like it's a job interview or not alot else. Most don't even bother asking for your face photo. Red flag?"
Reading at your profile, if I wanted to contact you (assuming I was within your age range etc), I would be confused as to what to do. You ask for Winks as to you don't read messages, but then ask for a face pic. Most people on here, if they do have a face pic, keep it private, so the only way to send you a pic is to send a message ...
Speaking personally, if contacting you I would send a face pic with a short message, and maybe a wink; but still feel unsure I was doing the right thing.
I'm sure your profile on dating sites is different, but it may be worth checking if you're asking for contrasting things - men are simple creatures and we're easily confused |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On the other hand, I do ask questions of women and couples, and generally get one or two word responses to messages that still manage to avoid answering my questions and it often feels like trying to get blood out of a stone.
After a few such responses I usually give up
Sounds like they weren't interested in the first place and thinking afew words is a polite way to say they're really not interested?"
I completely agree - hence why I give up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"….
What do you perceive as aggressive profiles? Telling the world what you desire should be celebrated as it shows clarity. ….. "
It should be celebrating, and a celebration should sound positive. So please explain how someone writes a profile that makes ot sound like they are a negative ninny? (but that’s steering away from your point.)
There’s people here for sex. Sometimes you’re going to interact with those who don’t want to get to know you. Or they guess you’re into the same thing through photos/past verifications/ your profile text. Maybe?!
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"Chances are I’m Banging you from behind anyway, so as long as your body is in point, who needs a face pic?…
Let’s read the majority of self entitled and aggressive profiles from woman?…you’ve answered most questions anyway, we may have already built a picture …
^just 2 examples why some people might not ask questions.
I agree, not really RED FLAGS but it is disheartening when you realise they asked nothing about you. My conversation normally drifts off by then, that’s what it would be like interacting face to face, and it would be little fun. I need small talk, I need interactions.
But. Why bother messaging, when you could just stay home and have a wank? I don’t get it. How is this meant to go?
“Hi. How r u?”
“Horny. Wuup2?
“Free now. Wanna bang?”
“Yup. NE1 4ME, number 69. Door’s open.”
"
Oh my Lord, who’s address is this…?
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cant say I have that issue, yes I get the odd one but predominantly the conversations flow easily and are about all manner of things, i dont engage in sex talk.
If i was only having negative experiences, I'd figure the site isnt for me and leave. |
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"On here and on dating sites men out number women HUGELY, making it very much a 'buyers market' for the ladies. So the guys straight away need to be selling, trying to show off what they can offer. Maybe one or two points from the ladies profile might be raised in and open statement or question - but an 'interrogation by message' is not the way to go (or speaking personally, not the way I would go).
As I understand it, most women receive lots of messages daily, so short replies are often the norm. This can set up a dilemma for the male - to send a short reply, as this could be what the lady likes; to persist with longer reply in the hope she will open up and talk more freely; or to take the hint, that a short reply shows a lack of interest.
To some extent contact and dating sites are what we have made them. (Sorry, I can offer no insight into short crude first messages, but maybe someone replies to them, or why would guys persist???)
I'm more talking about men I shown interest in to start a conversation. They don't seem to want to say too much to entice me to want to meet and fuck them. Called me old fashioned, but I like a nice conversation first to show we can click "
There’s a large number of singles and couples that use Fab messaging as titillation, just messages going backwards and forwards and it becomes apparent that they aren’t going to physically meet up for a social or otherwise engage outside the site. Messaging isn’t fun for me, I actually joined Fab to meet people either socially or for sex. If message conversation looks like it’s being drawn out unnecessarily then I wrap it up in a polite way |
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"Chances are I’m Banging you from behind anyway, so as long as your body is in point, who needs a face pic?…
Let’s read the majority of self entitled and aggressive profiles from woman?…you’ve answered most questions anyway, we may have already built a picture …
^just 2 examples why some people might not ask questions.
I agree, not really RED FLAGS but it is disheartening when you realise they asked nothing about you. My conversation normally drifts off by then, that’s what it would be like interacting face to face, and it would be little fun. I need small talk, I need interactions.
But. Why bother messaging, when you could just stay home and have a wank? I don’t get it. How is this meant to go?
“Hi. How r u?”
“Horny. Wuup2?
“Free now. Wanna bang?”
“Yup. NE1 4ME, number 69. Door’s open.”
Oh my Lord, who’s address is this…?
"
Penny has dropped, Google Mapped, well played |
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Yep par for the course. So many people are self-centred and swinging seems to attract more than most, male and female. Showing interest in and asking questions of others rather than talking about yourself and your own interests is much more successful, in swinging and just in general in life, whether making friends, business, bringing up children etc. |
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"I find on here and dating sites, especially the ones where you have to start the conversation. Most men on there and here never really ask questions about you, like strike up a normal conversation. Just either answer your questions like it's a job interview or not alot else. Most don't even bother asking for your face photo. Red flag?
Reading at your profile, if I wanted to contact you (assuming I was within your age range etc), I would be confused as to what to do. You ask for Winks as to you don't read messages, but then ask for a face pic. Most people on here, if they do have a face pic, keep it private, so the only way to send you a pic is to send a message ...
Speaking personally, if contacting you I would send a face pic with a short message, and maybe a wink; but still feel unsure I was doing the right thing.
I'm sure your profile on dating sites is different, but it may be worth checking if you're asking for contrasting things - men are simple creatures and we're easily confused "
I get 100s of messages each week so best to do the following with most women you like...Step 1: Wink. I wink back. Then Message me with face pic and ask something about my profile...simple, concise and encouraging. |
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"I get men asking me questions, but usually crude questions about sex.
Now I'm no prude in the slightest and can be as slutty as the next girl, but please get to know me first before talking about sex."
If they start with the sex / crude talk too soon that's it I'm out. |
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"Cant say I have that issue, yes I get the odd one but predominantly the conversations flow easily and are about all manner of things, i dont engage in sex talk.
If i was only having negative experiences, I'd figure the site isnt for me and leave."
How do you avoid getting into sex talk? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cant say I have that issue, yes I get the odd one but predominantly the conversations flow easily and are about all manner of things, i dont engage in sex talk.
If i was only having negative experiences, I'd figure the site isnt for me and leave.
How do you avoid getting into sex talk?"
I just dont get into it
Conversations I have are about getting to know each other a bit. I'm not here to facilitate a wank via chat  |
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"Cant say I have that issue, yes I get the odd one but predominantly the conversations flow easily and are about all manner of things, i dont engage in sex talk.
If i was only having negative experiences, I'd figure the site isnt for me and leave.
How do you avoid getting into sex talk?
I just dont get into it
Conversations I have are about getting to know each other a bit. I'm not here to facilitate a wank via chat "
Me neither as if you do, all they are doing is using you to wank off. I only talk about what i don't want in sex so they know my boundaries. If it's not for them, at least we haven't wasted too much time finding out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get men asking me questions, but usually crude questions about sex.
Now I'm no prude in the slightest and can be as slutty as the next girl, but please get to know me first before talking about sex.
If they start with the sex / crude talk too soon that's it I'm out."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find on here and dating sites, especially the ones where you have to start the conversation. Most men on there and here never really ask questions about you, like strike up a normal conversation. Just either answer your questions like it's a job interview or not alot else. Most don't even bother asking for your face photo. Red flag?"
They just want a fuck. Bin them, no point wasting any time. |
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"I find on here and dating sites, especially the ones where you have to start the conversation. Most men on there and here never really ask questions about you, like strike up a normal conversation. Just either answer your questions like it's a job interview or not alot else. Most don't even bother asking for your face photo. Red flag?
They just want a fuck. Bin them, no point wasting any time. "
Ha i don't even think they want to fuck. Just someone to stroke their ego is my take on this |
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"Men are damned if they do and damned if they don't ask for a face picture.
How about offering to exchange face pictures.
"
I ask pretty much within the first 5 exchange of conversation. Physical attraction is important too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get men asking me questions, but usually crude questions about sex.
Now I'm no prude in the slightest and can be as slutty as the next girl, but please get to know me first before talking about sex."
You know this is not a dating site? we are all here for swinging aka sex. Why would you NOT want to discuss it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My issue is you feel like you're chasing and getting very little return. Just ghosting"
Welcome to fab.
Do you think it’s just become a numbers game now?
You are one of many choices?
*open question to everyone regardless of sex.
Because I think that’s what the online profiles type of game looks like to me. We are just a lot of items in a catalog until you meet up with them. ..and then we BUY!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get men asking me questions, but usually crude questions about sex.
Now I'm no prude in the slightest and can be as slutty as the next girl, but please get to know me first before talking about sex.
You know this is not a dating site? we are all here for swinging aka sex. Why would you NOT want to discuss it?"
Fuck that sex meat! Don't speak unless it's about sex! Mmmmmmm |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My issue is you feel like you're chasing and getting very little return. Just ghosting
Welcome to fab.
Do you think it’s just become a numbers game now?
You are one of many choices?
*open question to everyone regardless of sex.
Because I think that’s what the online profiles type of game looks like to me. We are just a lot of items in a catalog until you meet up with them. ..and then we BUY!! "
Meat meat meat meet |
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