FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Single Guys aren't all that bad :-)
Single Guys aren't all that bad :-)
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Single guys don't read profiles, right?
Single guys are disrespectful, right?
I'm not so sure, as until recently we have been unavailable for some time and expressed so clearly in our profile.
This has reduced the amount of messages to a minimal, and with a few that did contact mentioning they realise we're not looking and suggesting about chatting until we do, and they soon accepted that we don't tend to do that, once we explain we feel it's suggesting a false promise to meet.
We've recently updated our profile and the traffic has upped quite a lot, though the messages from single guys remain as minimal, as it's still expressed that were currently not looking for single guys.
We've uploaded a short, teasing video which has upped visitors to our profile some more, with very close to 400 views already, although the little amount of fabs may suggest we're simply of no appeal. 
Can we keep this one thread in appreciation of the decent single guys here, there are many, it's the few that get under our skin.
Also, single guys, please don't make us regret posting this by bombarding our inbox before checking out our profile bio
Anyone else want to show their appreciation of the good guys? |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Of course single guys aren't all bad.
Some are, some aren't, just like single women and couples.
If all guys were then we'd probably take another 5 year break until the situation rectified itself. 
A
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"Single guys don't read profiles, right?
Single guys are disrespectful, right?
I'm not so sure, as until recently we have been unavailable for some time and expressed so clearly in our profile.
This has reduced the amount of messages to a minimal, and with a few that did contact mentioning they realise we're not looking and suggesting about chatting until we do, and they soon accepted that we don't tend to do that, once we explain we feel it's suggesting a false promise to meet.
We've recently updated our profile and the traffic has upped quite a lot, though the messages from single guys remain as minimal, as it's still expressed that were currently not looking for single guys.
We've uploaded a short, teasing video which has upped visitors to our profile some more, with very close to 400 views already, although the little amount of fabs may suggest we're simply of no appeal.
Can we keep this one thread in appreciation of the decent single guys here, there are many, it's the few that get under our skin.
Also, single guys, please don't make us regret posting this by bombarding our inbox before checking out our profile bio
Anyone else want to show their appreciation of the good guys?"
Thank you and it's nice to be appreciated for a change |
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By *kmaleMan
over a year ago
Bedford |
It's no point trying to say that single men are not a nuisance as we all know that with a free site they swarm like flies.
I feel sorry for younger womem that don't trim their age ranges and receive 500+ messages...then vanish. There should be a way to allow a max distance that could be set to prevent some coming through as well. Or having a setting for verified guys only
But some guys are just never going to read what's there ...ever |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"It's no point trying to say that single men are not a nuisance as we all know that with a free site they swarm like flies.
I feel sorry for younger womem that don't trim their age ranges and receive 500+ messages...then vanish. There should be a way to allow a max distance that could be set to prevent some coming through as well. Or having a setting for verified guys only
But some guys are just never going to read what's there ...ever"
There are plenty of filters women and in fact anyone can use including one for veried people. And some of the worst messages I've had on here have been for men who have glowing veris as well.
I'm glad to say though most men who I have had contact on here with have been fine. The gobshites just get their messages deleted. |
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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago
Deep in the New Forest |
Always found the golden rule is not to be pushy. Expect nothing and if nothing develops then move on. We are all here for the same reasons and respecting others wishes get you further. Treat others as you wish to be treated and just have fun and banter. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Though, over the years, we have received a much higher volume of messages from single men.
I'm thinking the percentage of negative/positive interactions aren't much different to those with single women or couples.
It's just volume of messages that have one group standing out, from our perspective.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was last on here for a while ...I think it was a couple of years ago...I tried sending out messages and when I received none, my frustration came out and I came across in the wrong way . I must humbly apologise to everyone that I had been snappy/snipey with and must apologise again for expecting replies after sending one out...I was too lonely and feeling very low...So I stepped back, went silent for a long while, regrouped, worked on myself more and realised my mistakes and also completely accept that I may not receive many messages or none at all including the possibilty of no relationship/fun in person with anyone on here.
If I did offend or upset any woman especially when you were being overwhelmed with very bad mails from other men then again I must humbly apologise for adding to your unnecessary and unwanted stress.
Now that I am back on again but feeling like I may be too old to start being a swinger lol...I would like to chat but warn everyone, I'm not great on forums and not as articulate online as a lot, if not all folks on here already are! But I am much better in real life and more articulate verbally if we ever met! lol
If the mods or anyone else feel this should be deleted or could be put in a better place, then please do that asap...
Many Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Nice one DL.
Now if everyone can consider that the person on the other end of a message may be struggling, we may be a step closer to a happier scene.
It's a vicious circle unfortunately, that each profile group contribute towards, with single men being the scapegoat.
Unfortunately, that's people/society for you.
I hope you're finding a more pleasant experience here this time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thanks OP I really appreciate your kind words ...and thanks everyone for the positive comments and compliments for us single guys too on here. I hope with me not being great at being articulate online, I can still get a chat or two going lol.
Take care folks |
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I read every word of every profile I view, and message (or not), appropriately, and always respectfully. I believe this is why after 10 or so years of my using Fab, I have shared some fantastic experiences with a fair amount of likeminded people 
I appreciate the well-intentioned thread OP, thank you both |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thanks OP I really appreciate your kind words...and thanks everyone for the positive comments and compliments for us single guys too on here. I hope with me not being great at being articulate online, I can still get a chat or two going lol.
Take care folks "
I think this is something we can all be guilty of, assuming a well worded message suggests decency, whereas a poorly expressed message suggests otherwise.
When in reality, an intelligent wordsmith can hide a series of sins this way, and there's often more genuity in the lesser articulated word.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always found the golden rule is not to be pushy. Expect nothing and if nothing develops then move on. We are all here for the same reasons and respecting others wishes get you further. Treat others as you wish to be treated and just have fun and banter. "
Totally agree!
I rejoined fab not being sure if I wanted to get back into meets. But thanks to a single male being kind, patient and understanding I changed my mind and had a fantastic meet.
There some really lovely single males on here, the art is trying to find them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always found the golden rule is not to be pushy. Expect nothing and if nothing develops then move on. We are all here for the same reasons and respecting others wishes get you further. Treat others as you wish to be treated and just have fun and banter.
Totally agree!
I rejoined fab not being sure if I wanted to get back into meets. But thanks to a single male being kind, patient and understanding I changed my mind and had a fantastic meet.
There some really lovely single males on here, the art is trying to find them. "
Great to hear....good for you..we are not all bad |
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"Single guys don't read profiles, right?
Single guys are disrespectful, right?…
….Anyone else want to show their appreciation of the good guys?"
Lovely post, thanks OP, greatly appreciated.
I love your profile: your sense of fun and humour really come out through your pics and video (sound on).
Spending two nights a week alone in a hotel near Southampton for the next few months makes me want to make contact (for a drink, chat and a laugh) but out of mutual respect, I’ll hold myself back and not contact you.
You’ve made me realise that I need to find a way to add my character and sense of humour into my dry, old, boring profile - thanks for the inspiration (though might take some time to do it).
Keep having fun! |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
OP, thank you for an interesting post.
From my perspective, having been on FAB for over 13 years and met some great people across the UK, I've often despaired at how many of my peers portray themselves so negatively, both from my own observations and from comments by people with whom I've met.
But I've also been lucky to receive positive reactions and replies, about my style of approach or the structure of my profile.
It always comes down to ensuring that potential profiles are compatible to me and I make a respectful approach. I treat them in the way I'd expect to be treated in turn at any stage.
I don't Copy and Paste messages out like some guys do (I'm so technically dumb, I don't even know how to do that! )
It simply comes down to using my positive qualities I've built up through life which I mix into FAB life and my interaction with others. It works for me!
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"OP, thank you for an interesting post.
From my perspective, having been on FAB for over 13 years and met some great people across the UK, I've often despaired at how many of my peers portray themselves so negatively, both from my own observations and from comments by people with whom I've met.
But I've also been lucky to receive positive reactions and replies, about my style of approach or the structure of my profile.
It always comes down to ensuring that potential profiles are compatible to me and I make a respectful approach. I treat them in the way I'd expect to be treated in turn at any stage.
I don't Copy and Paste messages out like some guys do (I'm so technically dumb, I don't even know how to do that!)
It simply comes down to using my positive qualities I've built up through life which I mix into FAB life and my interaction with others. It works for me!
"
Men like you are rare on here. Shame you are so far away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry to say good men are literally 1 in 1000 on here "
Not suggesting your wrong on that score….but there are 1 in ever 1000…….so there is some chance for the very very few of us who show respect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP, thank you for an interesting post.
From my perspective, having been on FAB for over 13 years and met some great people across the UK, I've often despaired at how many of my peers portray themselves so negatively, both from my own observations and from comments by people with whom I've met.
Think I’d like to echo these message. Some of us take the time to read bio’s and make sure we interact with those who want us too, and who I feel there could be a connection.
It’s also nice to see this thread staying relatively positive still.
But I've also been lucky to receive positive reactions and replies, about my style of approach or the structure of my profile.
It always comes down to ensuring that potential profiles are compatible to me and I make a respectful approach. I treat them in the way I'd expect to be treated in turn at any stage.
I don't Copy and Paste messages out like some guys do (I'm so technically dumb, I don't even know how to do that!)
It simply comes down to using my positive qualities I've built up through life which I mix into FAB life and my interaction with others. It works for me!
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP, thank you for an interesting post.
From my perspective, having been on FAB for over 13 years and met some great people across the UK, I've often despaired at how many of my peers portray themselves so negatively, both from my own observations and from comments by people with whom I've met.
Think I’d like to echo these message. Some of us take the time to read bio’s and make sure we interact with those who want us too, and who I feel there could be a connection.
It’s also nice to see this thread staying relatively positive still.
But I've also been lucky to receive positive reactions and replies, about my style of approach or the structure of my profile.
It always comes down to ensuring that potential profiles are compatible to me and I make a respectful approach. I treat them in the way I'd expect to be treated in turn at any stage.
I don't Copy and Paste messages out like some guys do (I'm so technically dumb, I don't even know how to do that!)
It simply comes down to using my positive qualities I've built up through life which I mix into FAB life and my interaction with others. It works for me!
"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I honestly feel it comes down to maths.
The sheer volume of men means their negativities become highlighted.
We've received many more messages from men than any other profile type, yet as a percentage I feel we've had more positive interactions with men than with women or couples, or at least less negative, percentage wise.
In fact, some of our worst interactions have been with women and/or couples, but because they're not as frequent in our inbox, we pass it off as a one off, a bad apple, so to speak.
Round it up to percentage, rather than volume and I think we may all be surprised at the result.
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"Single guys don't read profiles, right?
Single guys are disrespectful, right?
I'm not so sure, as until recently we have been unavailable for some time and expressed so clearly in our profile.
This has reduced the amount of messages to a minimal, and with a few that did contact mentioning they realise we're not looking and suggesting about chatting until we do, and they soon accepted that we don't tend to do that, once we explain we feel it's suggesting a false promise to meet.
We've recently updated our profile and the traffic has upped quite a lot, though the messages from single guys remain as minimal, as it's still expressed that were currently not looking for single guys.
We've uploaded a short, teasing video which has upped visitors to our profile some more, with very close to 400 views already, although the little amount of fabs may suggest we're simply of no appeal.
Can we keep this one thread in appreciation of the decent single guys here, there are many, it's the few that get under our skin.
Also, single guys, please don't make us regret posting this by bombarding our inbox before checking out our profile bio
Anyone else want to show their appreciation of the good guys?"
thanks |
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"Sorry to say good men are literally 1 in 1000 on here
Not suggesting your wrong on that score….but there are 1 in ever 1000…….so there is some chance for the very very few of us who show respect."
I met a few gents on here but been here for years was hoping to meet more so does make me sad about this statistic. |
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Without single men my profile would be a barren ghost town and I'd receive almost no interest from anyone... my fab time simply wouldn't be as fab without them.
And more to the point of the thread, I have had some great conversations with guys on here and met some real gems in person.
Sure there are plenty of dickheads, but they are easily identified and easily removed. |
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It's nice to hear positive things as single guy (well technically as solo profile rather than single). It's encouraging for decent guys to hear this. Sometime we get soripped upon and it is disheartening. And from a couples perspective me and My Girl have encountered many decent guys. But sadly not enough. Still lots of bad behaviour, attitudes and just guys who don't seem to get it. As a result a lot of people almost instinctively and maybe subconsciously take approaches by single with default suspicion and/or put barriers up. Which naturally makes it harder for us guys.
I like this post because there's far more to be achieved by pushing positive messages about guys rather than trashing them.
I would also say that some guys get confused because they see them selves a good, kind, attractive, successful guys and wounder why they don't get anywhere. Firstly part of the problem is a they just don't quite get it with their approach and come across iffy. Secondly some guys don't understand that being a nice guy (or at least in their opinion) and being attractive isn't the golden bullet, neither is being all alpha male. And to befair some guys just aren't as good and nice as they think they are. Character and nature is king. So you always get guys on forums saying I'm a really nice guy or I'm really fit or I'm a super Alpha male why aren't I getting any success?
From experience though from what I've seen over the years (especially on the club scene) quality guys do go far. Sometimes takes a bit of time to get momentum but once they have gown in confidence and others have encountered them their popularity and demand increases. There's a few guys on the club scene that we have seen grow from strength to strength. People get to see and know them. I assume its the same to some extent on FAB through verifications, forum presence and word of mouth. Although we've also seen that a fair few of the best single guys on the scene tend not to stay single guys long.
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"I honestly feel it comes down to maths.
The sheer volume of men means their negativities become highlighted.
We've received many more messages from men than any other profile type, yet as a percentage I feel we've had more positive interactions with men than with women or couples, or at least less negative, percentage wise.
In fact, some of our worst interactions have been with women and/or couples, but because they're not as frequent in our inbox, we pass it off as a one off, a bad apple, so to speak.
Round it up to percentage, rather than volume and I think we may all be surprised at the result.
"
We also had more bad interactions off cpls. Some try to pressure you to meet them. We have met guys but due to a surge in abusive ones we have taken them off the meet list for now.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Maybe we're wrong, we've updated profile, along with a status expressing so.
We normally become battered with messages, but it's pretty quiet.
I'm thinking we've been blocked by many because we've said no to meeting when we were unavailable. |
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