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Honesty and integrity - bisexuality
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Why is it so hard to find genuine bi-couples and singles. We are always very open, honest, transparent, non-judgemental and respectful of others, but many seem to find it so hard to tell the truth.
Surely it would be easier to be genuine and ensure that everybody is aligned with their wishes and desires to maximise please? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bisexual women are seen as sex toys and bisexuality men are made to feel dirty about it
It's not really surprising that so many bi people aren't comfortable being their true selves |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There’s still a lot of homophobia out there, even on Fab. Some people try and avoid it.
Gbat "
This! Some of the comments I've seen/heard are awful, especially about bi men |
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Well as someone has already said Bi sexual woman are considered as "Playthings" mostly for bored couples ??? and then of course the male assumes that if the Bi Fems have "Fun" he will be aswell ?? and it's a minefield and the rare times we've actually had a "Fem on Fem" they seem rather surprised at Mr4 not shouting out stuff or trying to join in ?? and so the dynamicss of a Bi Couple must be the same ?? so even more on a minefield but honesty and being genuine are now mostly frowned upon on here and so bullshite and over promising and then failure to deliver anything appraoching fun is the norm ??  |
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The trouble is, it can backfire on people if theh aren't upfront.
We've had so many guys pretend to be bi to meet us, when it's clesr they only want to get into Alice's knickers. Then there are those who tell us they're bi but when we point out their profile says they're straight they say it's to avoid putting-off couples who don't like bi guys.
Whether or not they're telling the truth, we don't meet them. |
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A shocking number of profiles state
"No bi guys" and often then some derogatory comments as well which put me off in the early days.
I've learned those are obviously people not worth my time but it definitely made me want to hide it when I was starting out |
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As a bi couple we always seek out open bi couples. As a bi man I seek bi singles too. Where people say they are straight I will tend to block. Surely this is a site where we can all be sexually honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bisexual women are seen as sex toys and bisexuality men are made to feel dirty about it
It's not really surprising that so many bi people aren't comfortable being their true selves "
Exactly this.  |
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I’m 100% bisexual, it’s not something I can or would want to hide, especially to get a meet as personally I would find that disrespectful to the others. It’s just part of who I am.
Recognise this hugely limits the chances of a meet but so be it.
What can I say, I like giving pleasure to both women and men.
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We try to but as the subject implies, many (invariably men) turn out to be not so bi after all when they arrive.
Love that your profile states you won’t meet people with pictures with an untidy background. Marie would so concur  |
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"As a bi couple we always seek out open bi couples. As a bi man I seek bi singles too. Where people say they are straight I will tend to block. Surely this is a site where we can all be sexually honest. "
That is what is so bemusing. On the basis that we are all here for similar reasons and we all have our own desires, wishes and expectations being honest would be far more likely to lead to everybody achieving their objectives. Sadly that is not the case. |
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"Bisexual women are seen as sex toys and bisexuality men are made to feel dirty about it
It's not really surprising that so many bi people aren't comfortable being their true selves "
Many more women seem comfortable with their bisexuality and the different pleasures and experiences this brings. Why is bisexual males seen as dirty. Is this a form of inherent and latent male homophobia? |
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"I’m 100% bisexual, it’s not something I can or would want to hide, especially to get a meet as personally I would find that disrespectful to the others. It’s just part of who I am.
Recognise this hugely limits the chances of a meet but so be it.
What can I say, I like giving pleasure to both women and men.
"
How very refreshing.
I tend to agree, so pleasurable and happy to be honest about it.
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"We actually only meet bi people , mainly because straight guys are so full on haha , but like previously stated it can be very hard to find "
We try to but as the subject implies, many (invariably men) turn out to be not so bi after all when they arrive.
Love that your profile states you won’t meet people with pictures with an untidy background. Marie would so concur |
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We have it marked down on our profile, being bi in a play scene isn't a necessity or anything, and if the others aren't bi then hey, no problems. But there are those that have the whole 'no bi guys' not sure why? But hey its their choice I suppose, and if not compatible then that's that.
Takes all sorts in this world after all. |
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"A shocking number of profiles state
"No bi guys" and often then some derogatory comments as well which put me off in the early days.
I've learned those are obviously people not worth my time but it definitely made me want to hide it when I was starting out"
It is amazing how many people don’t seem to appreciate that bi people are able to be respectful of others and play straight if they want to. |
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"Bisexual women are seen as sex toys and bisexuality men are made to feel dirty about it
It's not really surprising that so many bi people aren't comfortable being their true selves "
Well said. Lot of bias against bisexual guys on here. We had a few cpls who loved jo was bi but would not meet cos i was also bi. |
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"A shocking number of profiles state
"No bi guys" and often then some derogatory comments as well which put me off in the early days.
I've learned those are obviously people not worth my time but it definitely made me want to hide it when I was starting out"
. Sadly there seem to be a lot of bigoted and judgemental people on the site who are not as open minded and respectful as one would like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being a bi man myself. I've found it impossible to meet any couples interested. It's always a no thanks or deleted message. I'm new to this and not sure what people are looking for. I would love to actually meet some people on here and not just chat for a bit. Any tips appreciated. Anyone interested please get in touch. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being a bi man myself. I've found it impossible to meet any couples interested. It's always a no thanks or deleted message. I'm new to this and not sure what people are looking for. I would love to actually meet some people on here and not just chat for a bit. Any tips appreciated. Anyone interested please get in touch. "
Make sure to read a bio properly and adhere to anything listed. If you don't fit the bill move on.
Goes a long way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being a bi man myself. I've found it impossible to meet any couples interested. It's always a no thanks or deleted message. I'm new to this and not sure what people are looking for. I would love to actually meet some people on here and not just chat for a bit. Any tips appreciated. Anyone interested please get in touch.
Make sure to read a bio properly and adhere to anything listed. If you don't fit the bill move on.
Goes a long way"
I always do. Nobody is interested unfortunately. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being a bi man myself. I've found it impossible to meet any couples interested. It's always a no thanks or deleted message. I'm new to this and not sure what people are looking for. I would love to actually meet some people on here and not just chat for a bit. Any tips appreciated. Anyone interested please get in touch.
Make sure to read a bio properly and adhere to anything listed. If you don't fit the bill move on.
Goes a long way I always do. Nobody is interested unfortunately. "
Some guys go over a year before getting a meet.
Try going to some socials or clubs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being a bi man myself. I've found it impossible to meet any couples interested. It's always a no thanks or deleted message. I'm new to this and not sure what people are looking for. I would love to actually meet some people on here and not just chat for a bit. Any tips appreciated. Anyone interested please get in touch.
Make sure to read a bio properly and adhere to anything listed. If you don't fit the bill move on.
Goes a long way I always do. Nobody is interested unfortunately.
Some guys go over a year before getting a meet.
Try going to some socials or clubs "
I've never been. As I said I'm new to this and I'm not really sure where to start |
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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago
village life, closest main town inverness |
"Why is it so hard to find genuine bi-couples and singles. We are always very open, honest, transparent, non-judgemental and respectful of others, but many seem to find it so hard to tell the truth.
Surely it would be easier to be genuine and ensure that everybody is aligned with their wishes and desires to maximise please?"
.
Honesty is always the best policy
Even if that seems to be a rare thing these days lol  |
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By *landElCouple
over a year ago
Kent |
We have had bi women testing El.. Oh we have only play with bi girls u know straight away at if you're actually bi... Then we have had guys saying they are bi but then 'bottling it' on the play date.. We have had women saying they won't play with us as a couple because he is listed as bi... Straight men saying they are bi but listed as straight... Blah blah blah. Genuine bi couples are rare. |
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"We have had bi women testing El.. Oh we have only play with bi girls u know straight away at if you're actually bi... Then we have had guys saying they are bi but then 'bottling it' on the play date.. We have had women saying they won't play with us as a couple because he is listed as bi... Straight men saying they are bi but listed as straight... Blah blah blah. Genuine bi couples are rare. "
We face the same door stops. My mr being bi puts cpls off. But me being bi is fine. It will never change in here so we stick to bi singles and cpls now. |
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"Why is it so hard to find genuine bi-couples and singles. We are always very open, honest, transparent, non-judgemental and respectful of others, but many seem to find it so hard to tell the truth.
Surely it would be easier to be genuine and ensure that everybody is aligned with their wishes and desires to maximise please?
.
Honesty is always the best policy
Even if that seems to be a rare thing these days lol "
Isn’t it exactly this! ^^^
For years the community have battled for rights, consistency, outdated laws to be updated and the removal of downright bigotry!
Yet there’s bisexual men out there and on Fab chatting lies to increase their fuck rate!?!
As others have said, avoid them like the rats the are!
Be proud of who you are, otherwise the world will leave you behind and rightly fucking so!
Boils my shizzle |
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By *landElCouple
over a year ago
Kent |
"We have had bi women testing El.. Oh we have only play with bi girls u know straight away at if you're actually bi... Then we have had guys saying they are bi but then 'bottling it' on the play date.. We have had women saying they won't play with us as a couple because he is listed as bi... Straight men saying they are bi but listed as straight... Blah blah blah. Genuine bi couples are rare.
We face the same door stops. My mr being bi puts cpls off. But me being bi is fine. It will never change in here so we stick to bi singles and cpls now. "
Yes honestly it's so much more fun when everyone is on the same page! |
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As a bi couple we find it difficult to find a bi couple that we connect with. We must seem really picky but to us its better to be able to enjoy the company not just the sex.
We also find that we get less offers due to Mr H being bi. If we were in a club would you ask if he was bi before play or would you just get on with play?
Luna |
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Also, we get lots of single men who proclaim to be bi but their status says straight.
We don't play with straight single men as a rule. If they are part of a couple its not a problem as there is something for everyone. But as a couple who only plays together it doesn't work for us.
Luna |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I play bi. The hard job is convincing couples. I’ve given up sending messages now. I’m going to get myself along to a club a few times, meet people and have a good chat and see what happens.
In the past I have mainly had straight relationships, but when I’ve been single and the opportunity has arisen I have played with gay and bi guys and had a lot of fun.
I guess it’s hard for men in the same position to roll between identifying as straight or bi on fab for fear of alienating couples that want one or the other. When I read a lot of couples profiles they are quite vociferous when asking for one or the other…. A lot of bi guys are quite happy playing with a couple 100% straight. In fact, they are probably less put off by another cock in the mix than straight guys. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m openly bi amongst friends (and on fab) I’ve never had any backlash thankfully. Anyone looking for genuine bi around the bedford area….. look no further |
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We only meet bi couples and bi men and if they don’t have bi on their profiles then we won’t even consider meeting.
We find couples worse than single men the amount of times we get messages from couples where the man is straight but then when I say we only want bi couples the man is bi but hasn’t put it on their profile.
We’ve been told many a time we are missing out on some great couples but for us I’m not their to put a show on for the men and we’ve made the mistake before of meeting people who have said they were bi but it was clear early on they definitely weren’t.
If they are not prepared to give my husband a bj while I sit their and watch then I’m definitely not prepared to take it any further. |
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By *m3232Man
over a year ago
maidenhead |
I does get a touch frustrating when couples turn you down because your bi and their feedback is from a guy who asked to suck my cock.
I can play completely straight or Bi if I find the guy attractive. |
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What does BI actually mean?
For FAB purposes, I'm Bi, but in truth, only to an extent; mutual cock play is Ok, but any form bottom play is right out of my comfort zone.
Maybe, we need more granularity with a clear understanding of what each label means.
Alternatively, we could just talk and find out by asking...
|
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I'm genuinely bi and yes, it's difficult to find genuine bi couples. Equally can see how difficult it could be for genuinely bi couples given all of the scenarios above. If I was part of a bi couple I might ask guys if they'd meet me alone first to test their bisexuality? |
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"Bisexual women are seen as sex toys and bisexuality men are made to feel dirty about it
It's not really surprising that so many bi people aren't comfortable being their true selves "
You're 100% correct about that  |
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"We only meet bi couples and bi men and if they don’t have bi on their profiles then we won’t even consider meeting.
We find couples worse than single men the amount of times we get messages from couples where the man is straight but then when I say we only want bi couples the man is bi but hasn’t put it on their profile.
We’ve been told many a time we are missing out on some great couples but for us I’m not their to put a show on for the men and we’ve made the mistake before of meeting people who have said they were bi but it was clear early on they definitely weren’t.
If they are not prepared to give my husband a bj while I sit their and watch then I’m definitely not prepared to take it any further."
Exactly. But you will come across guys who are fab bi who will suck cock to get to the lady of the cpl. Id want the guys to play first to test the other guy out before id join in for sexy fun. We had a few who said they were bi but backed out of meeting when i said they have to fully bi play first with my mr whilst i watch. Suprising how quick they disappeared 
Mrs |
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"What does BI actually mean?
For FAB purposes, I'm Bi, but in truth, only to an extent; mutual cock play is Ok, but any form bottom play is right out of my comfort zone.
Maybe, we need more granularity with a clear understanding of what each label means.
Alternatively, we could just talk and find out by asking...
"
There is bi and fully bi. We pass on the bi cock suckers as they are really only after the ladies pussy.
Mr |
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"What does BI actually mean?
For FAB purposes, I'm Bi, but in truth, only to an extent; mutual cock play is Ok, but any form bottom play is right out of my comfort zone.
Maybe, we need more granularity with a clear understanding of what each label means.
Alternatively, we could just talk and find out by asking...
"
This is exactly it. Yeh I play with couples and guys but would I ever let a man f**k me? No. Do I find men attractive? No. Would I ever have a boyfriend? No. So how do I explain that with the options given.
I think these people are too dismissive. I put straight in my bio because I'm a straight man who dabbles as and when I want to, not because I'm lying. If people actually spoke and had conversations they would understand instead of calling people liars |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe the term "liberal" or "liberated", or even just "open-minded" is better. Before the Victorians that's how it was seen. Damn prudish Victorians ruining all things kinky |
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As someone who has only really just felt comfortable exploring a bi side its been abit of a eye opener coming on here. It took my a long time to be comfortable with the feeling I was having due to being raised in a Catholic environment along with Catholic education till I was 18, so spent alot of time confused and in fear of my sexual feeling and frustrations. I'm eternally grateful to my other half violet for allowing me to talk about them and helping me understand being bisexual isn't wrong or makes me less than for being so. I did manage to lose that baggage I was carrying but after joining fab I was surprised at how many people do write people off who are bisexual, I fully understand personal preferences and I have my own too but not to say the things they do and put people down as in all honesty it's attitudes like this that made me feel like I was wrong or I had something wrong with me just for being a human. Sorry its abit heavy but never really spoke or said anything abour this to anyone other than violet and felt like I needed to have it off my chest. |
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"As a bi couple we find it difficult to find a bi couple that we connect with. We must seem really picky but to us its better to be able to enjoy the company not just the sex.
We also find that we get less offers due to Mr H being bi. If we were in a club would you ask if he was bi before play or would you just get on with play?
Luna"
This is my experience- social meets, played at parties, clubs etc. couples loving the threesome action - afterwards find their profile says no bi men…
I think there is still that pervasive perception that Bi men are not masculine… or that we can’t restrain ourselves from MM intimacy .
I have found that those who are open minded, don’t care, no preference, who like the possibilities or who love 3 way play are the couples / singles I want to meet |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"Bisexual women are seen as sex toys and bisexuality men are made to feel dirty about it
It's not really surprising that so many bi people aren't comfortable being their true selves "
This.
It's why there are so many men who are bi (not just in fab land) who feel they aren't able to come out...
There is so much stigma and biphobia out there, I've had freinds told they are;
Riddled with stis
Less manly
Really gay but scared to admit it
Etc etc.... |
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"Bisexual women are seen as sex toys and bisexuality men are made to feel dirty about it
It's not really surprising that so many bi people aren't comfortable being their true selves "
So so true. If a guy puts bi on his profile he’s cut the women available pool by 75% as they see bi guys as dirty |
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"What does BI actually mean?
For FAB purposes, I'm Bi, but in truth, only to an extent; mutual cock play is Ok, but any form bottom play is right out of my comfort zone.
Maybe, we need more granularity with a clear understanding of what each label means.
Alternatively, we could just talk and find out by asking...
Exactly this. No interest in kissing or cuddling guys but love a good wank/suck session and 3way play. No set status for ‘I like cock but not what it’s attached to’
This is exactly it. Yeh I play with couples and guys but would I ever let a man f**k me? No. Do I find men attractive? No. Would I ever have a boyfriend? No. So how do I explain that with the options given.
I think these people are too dismissive. I put straight in my bio because I'm a straight man who dabbles as and when I want to, not because I'm lying. If people actually spoke and had conversations they would understand instead of calling people liars "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bisexual women are seen as sex toys and bisexuality men are made to feel dirty about it
It's not really surprising that so many bi people aren't comfortable being their true selves
So so true. If a guy puts bi on his profile he’s cut the women available pool by 75% as they see bi guys as dirty"
Perfect! Cuts 75% of non wanted people out instantly! Haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What does BI actually mean?
For FAB purposes, I'm Bi, but in truth, only to an extent; mutual cock play is Ok, but any form bottom play is right out of my comfort zone.
Maybe, we need more granularity with a clear understanding of what each label means.
Alternatively, we could just talk and find out by asking...
Exactly this. No interest in kissing or cuddling guys but love a good wank/suck session and 3way play. No set status for ‘I like cock but not what it’s attached to’
This is exactly it. Yeh I play with couples and guys but would I ever let a man f**k me? No. Do I find men attractive? No. Would I ever have a boyfriend? No. So how do I explain that with the options given.
I think these people are too dismissive. I put straight in my bio because I'm a straight man who dabbles as and when I want to, not because I'm lying. If people actually spoke and had conversations they would understand instead of calling people liars "
Definition of bi does not mean you fancy guys, wanna get romantic etc etc
If you find a cock attractive you are at the least bi curious.
To us it is lying, to someone else it may not be.. other may have a different opinion on what bi means..
At the end of the day it's all opinions and there is no set thing per say |
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"Bisexual women are seen as sex toys and bisexuality men are made to feel dirty about it
It's not really surprising that so many bi people aren't comfortable being their true selves
So so true. If a guy puts bi on his profile he’s cut the women available pool by 75% as they see bi guys as dirty"
Not true, I have no trouble getting straight and bi couple meets, it’s almost always the guys in the couples that are responsible for putting the ‘no bi guys’ in the profile, the women are more accepting. |
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"Bisexual women are seen as sex toys and bisexuality men are made to feel dirty about it
It's not really surprising that so many bi people aren't comfortable being their true selves
Exactly this. "
100% this |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"Isn’t it just about preference?"
I'm going to use a lot of 'you' in here. This isn't aimed at the poster I'm quoting, just a general you to make it easier for me to write (yey dyslexic brain)...
This is my thoughts on the problems with using 'preference'...
The issue with preference is knowing the reasoning behind it...
I don't have a preference for blondes (for example...) I don't rule out blondes purely because they are blonde... I'm just statistically less likely to find a blonde attractive...
If I rule out all people purely because they have blonde hair (you can replace blonde hair here with any protected {or otherwise} characteristic), that would be a prejudice, now we all have prejudices, it's how we address those internally that counts...
If you met a man, he was gorgeous and physically took your breath away, you had a date or two and he was just perfect, absolutely compatible with you in every way... Then you found out he was bi and you instantly were put off, or worse repulsed... That's the point when you should be asking why...
What is it about a man's capacity to find another man attractive and loveable that makes you uncomfortable...
Is it the worry they would cheat? Why would that be more of a risk than him being straight (as being bi and being monogamous aren't mutually exclusive)
Is it him having sex with a man? Well that's where it leans into homophobia, why is an expression of lust or love any different because it's with a man... You find men attractive, I'm sure you can appreciate him finding another man attractive... |
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"What does BI actually mean?
For FAB purposes, I'm Bi, but in truth, only to an extent; mutual cock play is Ok, but any form bottom play is right out of my comfort zone.
Maybe, we need more granularity with a clear understanding of what each label means.
Alternatively, we could just talk and find out by asking...
This is exactly it. Yeh I play with couples and guys but would I ever let a man f**k me? No. Do I find men attractive? No. Would I ever have a boyfriend? No. So how do I explain that with the options given.
I think these people are too dismissive. I put straight in my bio because I'm a straight man who dabbles as and when I want to, not because I'm lying. If people actually spoke and had conversations they would understand instead of calling people liars "
A Fab straight, hetero-flexible, Bi-playful tick box is needed for Fab profiles.
For the guys that like the feeling of cocks rubbing together during a DVP, don’t mind at all that our balls slap together during DP, will happily guide the other cock back in whilst fuck-licking and don’t mind the cuck husbands fluffing and cleaning as demanded by the wife |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"Bisexual women are seen as sex toys and bisexuality men are made to feel dirty about it
It's not really surprising that so many bi people aren't comfortable being their true selves
So so true. If a guy puts bi on his profile he’s cut the women available pool by 75% as they see bi guys as dirty
Not true, I have no trouble getting straight and bi couple meets, it’s almost always the guys in the couples that are responsible for putting the ‘no bi guys’ in the profile, the women are more accepting."
Over the years I've seen plenty of single women on the forums state that bi men are a blanket no (and I have seen them say far more offensive things than that...) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bisexual women are seen as sex toys and bisexuality men are made to feel dirty about it
It's not really surprising that so many bi people aren't comfortable being their true selves
So so true. If a guy puts bi on his profile he’s cut the women available pool by 75% as they see bi guys as dirty
Not true, I have no trouble getting straight and bi couple meets, it’s almost always the guys in the couples that are responsible for putting the ‘no bi guys’ in the profile, the women are more accepting.
Over the years I've seen plenty of single women on the forums state that bi men are a blanket no (and I have seen them say far more offensive things than that...)"
It's funny, S was so against it... she said it would make her see the guy as less masculine.
Years on I stated I was curious..
What changed?
Time... maturity... understanding... wisdom...
It hots her right out now!
Funny old world |
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I am a Bi guy and although I gave enjoyed a couple of meets from this site, I find it increasingly frustrating when some couples seeking a Bi guy get in touch, sort meets out and then you don't hear a thing.
Still, such is life I suppose.
Drop me a message if my profile interests you and you do want to meet. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"Bisexual women are seen as sex toys and bisexuality men are made to feel dirty about it
It's not really surprising that so many bi people aren't comfortable being their true selves
So so true. If a guy puts bi on his profile he’s cut the women available pool by 75% as they see bi guys as dirty
Not true, I have no trouble getting straight and bi couple meets, it’s almost always the guys in the couples that are responsible for putting the ‘no bi guys’ in the profile, the women are more accepting.
Over the years I've seen plenty of single women on the forums state that bi men are a blanket no (and I have seen them say far more offensive things than that...)
It's funny, S was so against it... she said it would make her see the guy as less masculine.
Years on I stated I was curious..
What changed?
Time... maturity... understanding... wisdom...
It hots her right out now!
Funny old world"
If we don't learn and grow as people then it's sad for all, I'm glad with time came wisdom |
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