FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Couples who play solo
Couples who play solo
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Hypothetical statement - is it true, or false (in your experience)
There seems to be much more acceptance of females in a couple who play solo than males.
The female will be called a Hotwife, etc.
The male will be accused of cheating, and any claims that he has her permission automatically disbelieved.
Understandable, given that it is so often the case that the male is either posing as a couple, or his partner has stopped swinging or even left him and he’s hiding behind the old couples profile.
We get approached by LOADS of ‘couples’ where the female is ‘not available right now can we just meet the guy’.
What are your experiences with this?
Interested to hear from both singles and couples on this.
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"Solo works for us xxx"
Also for us. Very much so.
But Driver had more luck arranging meets when he had a solo profile, and almost none via the couples profile.
Whereas men don’t ever question Miniskirt’s play away permission status. |
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"We both can play away, with trusted friends. "
Obviously, there’s an element of personal safety risk, especially when the female is playing away solo.
However, Miniskirt likes meeting new people, so we try to manage that risk as best as possible so that she can enjoy the excitement of meeting someone totally new on her own.
So far so good, we seem pretty good at picking the decent people.
There’s also some risk for the man playing solo, I (male) have done solo meets and as I approach the lady’s house I always have a little worrying moment that a guy will open the door to me instead - either an angry husband because the lady wasn’t honest about having his full permission, or a guy who pretended to be a woman so he could try and entice me in for sex!
Thankfully, so far at least, it's always been a very sexy hotwife that has greeted me, or her compliant husband has let me in and led me to where his wife is waiting, arse up and ready for me - so all is well. |
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"We both can play away, with trusted friends.
Obviously, there’s an element of personal safety risk, especially when the female is playing away solo.
However, Miniskirt likes meeting new people, so we try to manage that risk as best as possible so that she can enjoy the excitement of meeting someone totally new on her own.
So far so good, we seem pretty good at picking the decent people.
There’s also some risk for the man playing solo, I (male) have done solo meets and as I approach the lady’s house I always have a little worrying moment that a guy will open the door to me instead - either an angry husband because the lady wasn’t honest about having his full permission, or a guy who pretended to be a woman so he could try and entice me in for sex!
Thankfully, so far at least, it's always been a very sexy hotwife that has greeted me, or her compliant husband has let me in and led me to where his wife is waiting, arse up and ready for me - so all is well. "
Always a risk of being set up - happened once before arriving to someone house
I always ask for the front door to be left slightly open that way I know there genuine ish - never say never
It’s amazing how some people get there kicks sending to the wrong house |
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We are free to play solo and as a bi M I have had the joy of having a long-term trans f2m lover and then a longish-term gay M lover both pre-covid. I am hoping to find a FbiM couple with whom I can have a longer term explore, or a biF who would like someone on their arm when playing around. Together my wife and I enjoy exploring with bi couples and again hoping to find one or two longer term bicouple friends. I am lucky to be able to explore solo without keeping secrets. |
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Only meet male parts of couples in clubs now and the female has to be there purely for this reason.
I’m SO against cheating that it isn’t worth the risk for me.
Female partner has to be on the scene, actively involved in the scene but doesn’t have to be involved in that actual play.
My standards are the same for all sexes, I’m just straight so speak of that experience |
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"We’ve both played solo.
Mrs more than Mr"
Mrs more because that’s how you want it?
Or because of the reasons stated in the original post? That it is much harder for the guy of a couple to arrange solo meets than the female? |
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"Only meet male parts of couples in clubs now and the female has to be there purely for this reason.
I’m SO against cheating that it isn’t worth the risk for me.
Female partner has to be on the scene, actively involved in the scene but doesn’t have to be involved in that actual play.
We have a private rule that before a solo meet we exchange mobile numbers, so my wife has their mobile and they have hers. a) we are sharing honest non fab info, and b) if anything goes wrong they can all connect.
My standards are the same for all sexes, I’m just straight so speak of that experience "
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"Only meet male parts of couples in clubs now and the female has to be there purely for this reason.
I’m SO against cheating that it isn’t worth the risk for me.
Female partner has to be on the scene, actively involved in the scene but doesn’t have to be involved in that actual play.
My standards are the same for all sexes, I’m just straight so speak of that experience "
Fortunately Miniskirt loves to watch so that doesn’t rule me out here …
But if the guy sets up a single’s account you’d meet them if everything else was to your liking?
And you might not know if he was single, married or whatever.
Ditto single guys in clubs.
As for cheating, if people want or need to cheat that’s their decision.
We’ve had MMFs with married guys before, they are quite easy to spot and generally confess early on in the proceedings.
We actually find they are often more respectful and less hassle - we’ve had a couple of incidents after meets where the guys turned into persistent stalkers, trying to contacting Miniskirt behind my back and even accosting her in the street - and they have ALWAYS been the genuinely single ones. |
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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago
Nr Leicester |
We feel there's an element of misandry and double standards within the lifestyle..
As OP states hot wives and bi females are valued, vice versa not..
That said a good proportion of the male members on here do not help that situation at all, but they are acting in self interest, as we all are in honesty, and will try and circumvent others filters and preferences.
We have played with a married guy and asked prior to speak to his wife for her consent and have shown the same respect to a ladies husband.
It was a kink of both couples.
Guy's will never get the attention girls do here (unless a complete Adonis  )
Simple supply and demand.. |
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"We’ve both played solo.
Mrs more than Mr
Mrs more because that’s how you want it?
Or because of the reasons stated in the original post? That it is much harder for the guy of a couple to arrange solo meets than the female?"
Tbh it’s a bit of both |
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Checking previous verifications (and the play partners) can easily establish a real couple and if any verification is required to corroborate permission to play solo this is easily done by a phonecall. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
My other half has had a fair few meets in the past ,we both have our single profiles and cross reference them on our joint one.
I have confirmed to couples/ladies that I'm happy for him to meet alone.
Nobody has ever asked to confirm the same with my partner though!. |
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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago
Nr Leicester |
"My other half has had a fair few meets in the past ,we both have our single profiles and cross reference them on our joint one.
I have confirmed to couples/ladies that I'm happy for him to meet alone.
Nobody has ever asked to confirm the same with my partner though!."
Yeah that! We did with both lady and gent..
For us it was respect to their relationship and over half.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We would ask to speak to both if part of a couple approached us...
However as a rule we decided that if someone is part of a couple we would want to play with the couple.
We don't do solo meets ourselves. |
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We have a joint couples profile and a separate profile each to avoid the misinterpretation that something is not correct.Mrs gets more attention which is natural given the numbers of men vs women but I do enjoy meeting seperatly. When we first joined 8 years ago it was no no for solo meets but having kids just made life easier to meet solo. We will still meet as a couple but it needs more planning for baby sitters etc.. than solo meets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's old news been going on for years I'd hate to think how many single men are on here, could be a reason why the fake couple profiles pop up chancing their luck ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's neigh on impossible to get anyone to believe a single guy on here. There's a very small minority. But most are tarred and feathered with the typical "single bloke" brush.
Ultimately, Fab is used as a fantasy world away from mosts existence. Where we can be and say whatever we want.
Most of us dont have any credibility, until we've met with the same person/couple multiple times. By which point numbers are exchanged and the site becomes redundant for that particular meet. |
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"We feel there's an element of misandry and double standards within the lifestyle..
As OP states hot wives and bi females are valued, vice versa not..
That said a good proportion of the male members on here do not help that situation at all, but they are acting in self interest, as we all are in honesty, and will try and circumvent others filters and preferences.
We have played with a married guy and asked prior to speak to his wife for her consent and have shown the same respect to a ladies husband.
It was a kink of both couples.
Guy's will never get the attention girls do here (unless a complete Adonis )
Simple supply and demand.."
Eloquently put. Double standards abound,
And yes, guys are guilty as charged of filter deception shenanigans, which does them no favours.
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"We play solo, it so much easier for K to get someone then me, I think it must be at least 10 times more  "
Probably more like 100 times easier.
Whenever we take the single men message filter off the inbox is bursting at the seams within hours.
When it is on, tumble.
We once set her up with a singles profile, but canned it almost immediately due to the resulting tsunami of dick pics |
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We, My self and My Girl have a couples profile for our joint activities and single profiles for our solo activities. This in my opinion is the best approach to save confusion or accusations of foul play. And let's face it there's a lot of foul play out there on line. Although to be fair we generally swinging together and alone (as we are not always free at same time as single parents) in clubs. So we tend not to have to deal with too much messing about online. Naturally we'd be very suspicious of a couples profile where the wife is "away". And if we were looking at a couples profile then it's the couple as a package we'd be intrested in, not half the package. So we would definitely say if you do solo get a singles profile for this side of things.
As to the perception of single blokes I think that's a matter of how they represent and do business on here. Guys in general don't have a great reputation. But guys in a relationship who play solo who go about things the right way and have a good profile I believe are held in high regard.
However I think some guys playing solo get disheartened believing that because they are part of a couple they'll get lucky by default (especially if they've not been on the scene when single). They forget it hard out there for all guys. Although some women favour these guys or are neutral many single ladies don't. It's not because they don't belive them or don't hold them in high regard. Its just some women are a bit funny about having another woman's guy. Or just like the thought that in that for time and space that he is all hers which is harder to buy into when you know he's in a committed relationship. I know it sounds strange as were all swingers but I think a lot of women dont like the feeling they are second fiddle. A thought that is easier to dismiss when with a truly single guy. I think it's slightly harder for solo guys from couples than for truly single guys. |
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"This problem evaporates in clubs, if a couple is present, they are a couple. If a man or woman are on their own, it's up to us to decide if we care if they are part of a couple or not."
Very very true indeed  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We play solo, it so much easier for K to get someone then me, I think it must be at least 10 times more
Probably more like 100 times easier.
Whenever we take the single men message filter off the inbox is bursting at the seams within hours.
When it is on, tumble.
We once set her up with a singles profile, but canned it almost immediately due to the resulting tsunami of dick pics"
And that's part of the problem. I get dick pics sent to me. "Can I suck you off" winks. The lot. Unfortunately it's always from guys 
But if I get them and get pestered. God only knows what some of these profiles get.
And that's because as a species. Males, (some not all, don't shoot me lads) are shallow and think they're the ultimate package.
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"This problem evaporates in clubs, if a couple is present, they are a couple. If a man or woman are on their own, it's up to us to decide if we care if they are part of a couple or not."
To an extent, true.
But the fem is still much more likely to be a focus of attention than a guy.
When was the last time you saw one guy with five women on him at a club?
And if it was not long ago, please tell us which club! 
Actually, not really a fantasy of mine. I’ve done FFM several times, and it was fun - but I don’t honestly think a man is particularly well equipped to deal with multiple woman in the way a woman can deal with multiple men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We play solo, it so much easier for K to get someone then me, I think it must be at least 10 times more
Probably more like 100 times easier.
Whenever we take the single men message filter off the inbox is bursting at the seams within hours.
When it is on, tumble.
We once set her up with a singles profile, but canned it almost immediately due to the resulting tsunami of dick pics
And that's part of the problem. I get dick pics sent to me. "Can I suck you off" winks. The lot. Unfortunately it's always from guys
But if I get them and get pestered. God only knows what some of these profiles get.
And that's because as a species. Males, (some not all, don't shoot me lads) are shallow and think they're the ultimate package.
"
I Jay am curious, there is a reason it's never been acted on though.... it made me realise that the mass majority of guys are sleazy as ****.
It's actually near the point I'm gonna scrap ever trying TBH and stick to being a straight playing male.
Until we joined fab I had no idea just how bad it was for women! |
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" I know it sounds strange as were all swingers but I think a lot of women dont like the feeling they are second fiddle. A thought that is easier to dismiss when with a truly single guy."
Completely agree with, and have witnessed, this phenomena before. |
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"This problem evaporates in clubs, if a couple is present, they are a couple. If a man or woman are on their own, it's up to us to decide if we care if they are part of a couple or not.
To an extent, true.
But the fem is still much more likely to be a focus of attention than a guy.
When was the last time you saw one guy with five women on him at a club?
And if it was not long ago, please tell us which club!
Actually, not really a fantasy of mine. I’ve done FFM several times, and it was fun - but I don’t honestly think a man is particularly well equipped to deal with multiple woman in the way a woman can deal with multiple men."
What I meant was, as a couple if I see a single man or woman it's up to us to decide if we care if he is single or not, we aren't responsible for people cheating. Sure, it's more men than women, but both do it. |
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"This problem evaporates in clubs, if a couple is present, they are a couple. If a man or woman are on their own, it's up to us to decide if we care if they are part of a couple or not.
To an extent, true.
But the fem is still much more likely to be a focus of attention than a guy.
When was the last time you saw one guy with five women on him at a club?
And if it was not long ago, please tell us which club!
Actually, not really a fantasy of mine. I’ve done FFM several times, and it was fun - but I don’t honestly think a man is particularly well equipped to deal with multiple woman in the way a woman can deal with multiple men."
2 is the limit we can't multitask as it is .
In all honesty I feel much more comfortable in a club environment with my mrs than I do attending on my own. This is because of the stigma so that some SM do get even in a club. So I really do feel for the genuine nice guys that do attend clubs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We play solo, it so much easier for K to get someone then me, I think it must be at least 10 times more
Probably more like 100 times easier.
Whenever we take the single men message filter off the inbox is bursting at the seams within hours.
When it is on, tumble.
We once set her up with a singles profile, but canned it almost immediately due to the resulting tsunami of dick pics
And that's part of the problem. I get dick pics sent to me. "Can I suck you off" winks. The lot. Unfortunately it's always from guys
But if I get them and get pestered. God only knows what some of these profiles get.
And that's because as a species. Males, (some not all, don't shoot me lads) are shallow and think they're the ultimate package.
I Jay am curious, there is a reason it's never been acted on though.... it made me realise that the mass majority of guys are sleazy as ****.
It's actually near the point I'm gonna scrap ever trying TBH and stick to being a straight playing male.
Until we joined fab I had no idea just how bad it was for women! "
Itll never change because its in society. Nex time your out and your in a pub / club. Find a lone female and then look for the group of gawking lads about 2 metres away.
If it was legal they'd all have their dicks out. Swinging them around.
To try and change it would be like holding back the tsunami of dick pics every lone woman on here recieves. Cutting of the change of actually finding someone decent. |
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I play solo, Mr has permission too but hasn’t yet. Guys on here really have the odds against them though. My inbox is crazy & I agree the dick pics are ridiculous  would much prefer females in my inbox  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't have any experience of meeting separately but my husband is 'allowed' to meet solo if he so wishes. He still can't get his head around being 'allowed' to meet solo, nor do I think he would anyway (ladies, give him a shout if he's your thing!) 
F |
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"We don't have any experience of meeting separately but my husband is 'allowed' to meet solo if he so wishes. He still can't get his head around being 'allowed' to meet solo, nor do I think he would anyway (ladies, give him a shout if he's your thing!)
F"
This was definitely written for the husband, by the husband,  |
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I really am quite lucky as Becky likes to send me out to play, with known lady friends and couples... She loves hearing all about it afterwards and on occasion has watched from the other side of a club.
This could easily be me, making up a story, but our veri’s show that it happens. We have total trust. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We don't have any experience of meeting separately but my husband is 'allowed' to meet solo if he so wishes. He still can't get his head around being 'allowed' to meet solo, nor do I think he would anyway (ladies, give him a shout if he's your thing!)
F
This was definitely written for the husband, by the husband, "
Promise, it's Mrs telling you this!
F |
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