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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Heyyy everyone! 
We’re looking for some advice, we’ve been to a few different clubs now & we’ve found our favourite club & we feel comfortable being there & using the play rooms but now we’re ready to take things to the next level.
We want to be able to approach other couples/singles but it’s so overwhelming, especially when they’re in big groups.
So I suppose what I’m asking is when you’re in a club how do you approach other couples/singles?
Thanks everyone   |
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By *eaSlutsCouple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
Whenever we've gone along to our local, we have felt the same about approaching groups or even other couples. Its pretty nerve-wracking, especially if there are a few talking together. We usually approach for a chat and just see how it goes. 
C x |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"We want to be able to approach other couples/singles but it’s so overwhelming, especially when they’re in big groups.
So I suppose what I’m asking is when you’re in a club how do you approach other couples/singles?"
It's a zillion times easier to ask if someone would like to play if you've talked socially before. I'm more comfortable in smaller and quieter groups, so that's where I head - the smoking area and the hot tub are good places.
For play, you might see someone in an open room, catch their eye, smile, and ask if you can join them. If they already know and like you, they might say yes.
Or if you want to go private, you just ask if they'd like to find a room. That's the hard one, because who likes rejection? "Would you like to go for a wander?" is the easier lead-in to it. If they've already followed you to the play rooms, "shall we?" is so much easier to ask.
There's also this strange thing that happens with couples sometimes that I don't understand. One couple is playing, another couple starts playing near them, and the play somehow merges. We're still learning the "clubs as a couple" thing and haven't cracked that one. |
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We find we tend to have a conversation with people in the bar, chill out, lounge, smoking areas... if we think there's a spark then we might continue chatting or we might find them later in the play areas and see how things progress.
We often don't talk to the couples at all and find ourselves interacting in the play areas and go from there... its whatever feels comfortable at the time and doesn't have to be the slightly awkward 'what are you into conversation.
Good luck xx |
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Totally get the big group thing. We used to be oh that's a bit cliquey and intimidating. Like some impenetrable fortress. As time has gone on and we've made freinds and gone to clubs with them and/or met up with others we know. So now sometimes hanging out in a group ourselves we understand it more from the other side. Sometimes when your having a good time with freinds you may not always be looking for new people just concentrating on each other. However to be fair with regards ourselves and freinds are all pretty welcoming to everyone.
I suppose it sounds like something off a wildlife programme but it is easier to pick off lone individuals/couples. Doing so your not invading a groups thing and your not competing for attention.
As to doing it, the best way to do a thing is to just do it. It is difficult for everyone but I think it gets a bit easier every time. You just have to be brave and go talk to people. You quickly get a sense of if its working out or not. I think the best ice breaker is a genuine complement (which should be easy after all your approaching them because there's something you like about them). See where it goes and if your intrested in taking it further invite them to a room or the hot tub or just a little walk around to see what's going on in the play spaces. If you think you're nervous and shy chances are they are too. So sometimes you need to be assertive and ask because some people won't even if they are intrested. |
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"Heyyy everyone!
We’re looking for some advice, we’ve been to a few different clubs now & we’ve found our favourite club & we feel comfortable being there & using the play rooms but now we’re ready to take things to the next level.
We want to be able to approach other couples/singles but it’s so overwhelming, especially when they’re in big groups.
So I suppose what I’m asking is when you’re in a club how do you approach other couples/singles?
Thanks everyone "
Look for eye contact, smiles and body language. If you keep getting eye contact they may be interested. Go for walks around the club, say hello and pay a compliment. You may just have a little chat, but you'll generally get the vibe that things may progress. Good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I love all of your advice thank you so much!
It’s nice to hear other people have had the same problem or are even experiencing it still.
I think approaching the smaller groups might be best but also being a bit more confidence & adventurous, I’ll say this now & when I get there it will be a different story haha!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have allways found that wether in large groups or single couples just smile and say hi how are you they all have the same answer and carry on the conversation from there if you get the right vibe carry on if not just say you going for a look around speek again later allways works for us xx |
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