FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Picky couple
Picky couple
Jump to: Newest in thread
"We seem to be the pickiest couple ever… don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing
Should we be more open minded or stick to own standards "
Stick to your guns otherwise you're just setting yourself up for disappointment.
Mr Hayes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We hardly ever play as finding 4 way attraction is nearly impossible. We decided on a new mindset last night. We have been looking for people with the quality's we would date and not just the qualities we would fuck. Our next club visit we will be far more objective and sexualize people more, we are here to fuck and be fucked after all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I used to think we were picky and thus the problem was us. However as time goes on you realise the real problem is its just hard to find the right people, that supply is the problem. That's not to say there's not lots of awesome people out there on the scene (we've met so many) just not so many that are right for you and how you play.
We all have our own styles of swinging. We see some couples who are just at it all the time with so many different people and it's impressive. But it also makes you wonder if your doing it wrong? But it's not a case anyone is doing it wrong or right. Just everyone has their own way. As long as everytime you do it good then your doing it right
With the right people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We hardly ever play as finding 4 way attraction is nearly impossible. We decided on a new mindset last night. We have been looking for people with the quality's we would date and not just the qualities we would fuck. Our next club visit we will be far more objective and sexualize people more, we are here to fuck and be fucked after all."
We've found the way to partially break the cycle is to get ourselves into group/couples spaces. There we start together and that sets us into sex mode and surrounded by others. As it's a play space the option to get to know people socially and see if their our sort of people is bypassed. Basically the situation finds you being lead by your base sexual desires which are now insatiable. Often those situations are non verbal and its starts with something as simple as eye contact, a smile, a gesture or an out stretched hand. Not that there is still potential for one/both of us to then be put off by how the other party plays. We have had to make a couple of escapes in the past because they just play in an incompatible way. But in general we find this the best way to encounter others sexually without being too hung up on normal considerations of attraction/chemistry.
We find this interesting because sometimes when we have jumped straight into a sexual encounter with strangers it's worked really well and sexually they have been just what we wanted. However we then meet the same people later in a social environment and think they're not our type out of the bedroom (and likewise they may think that of us). So likewise we have wondered if we should try be more objective sexually and not so much driven by the people we'd want to date and shag. And it's not like you have to stop looking for the perfect 4 way chemistry as well. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
Stay picky , but accept you get less.
I also agree with other posters who say it can be situationally driven. I’m personally a lot less picky when I’m approaching the vinegar stroke!
But don’t compromise safety for a fuck.
Gbat |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We’re both picky in different ways, and we’ll only chat to people if we’re both agreed. We’re not looking to fuck the entire site - just the ones who turn us on, are into the same stuff as us and are reasonably local to us (or to a club). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm a firm believer in holding out for what you're really looking for and I live in hope that we are what others are really looking for when they meet us. This is how we swing and we appreciate others may do things differently. We only meet others for sex very occasionally and that suits us, but it also means we're pretty specific about the people we want to meet.
In summary, if you're happy with how you're doing things, sod what everyone else is doing  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Im picky about my socks and they only go on my feet so I'm alot more pickier of who I want sat on me face or if joining a couple is inside me aswell. Im that pickie if I see the female has the same name as any of my exs I say no, I have to be attracted to them straight away both looks and body wise then its hope we all have banter cause I dont entertain quickies. Keep your standards then its way more hotter when it happens x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We sometimes think of ourselves as very picky, but as a previous poster has said, that’s actually ok. It just reflects that we know what we like and we’re not willing to compromise, so we shouldn’t beat ourselves up. We need a 4 way attraction for our idea of swinging to work for us - and as many have said in past threads - that ain’t easy! So we’d rather play the waiting game and have the occasional great meet than lots of meh ones; there’s plenty of other things to be getting on with! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We seem to be some what entertainers of the room sometimes especially with the mess we make
We then often get complimented as well but then think to ourselves I wonder if we are actually approachable people  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Interestingly, we were at an arranged social a few years ago, and we raised this around a table of three other couples - all members of an elitist club not too far from us. I (Mr) said, with a massive amount of tongue in cheek, that we are quite picky. It was very obvious I was exaggerating our 'pickiness'. The male from one of the couples, quite bluntly said "You two should not be involved in this lifestyle", which didn't seem like a very Liberal attitude to have. What is more remarkable, everyone at the table agreed with him!
Four years later, we're still here and enjoying ourselves, and reading the forum to see that most people believe being picky is the way to be! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it all depends. We single guys you can afford to be picky. When it comes to couples, then it is very difficult to find a 4 way match. This time round we have been very lucky, but you just have to be open minded. Sometimes you can be unrealistically picky and that’s a different story. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *MrMrsXCouple
over a year ago
Hereford |
Nothing wrong with being picky, we have also found it difficult in the past to both have that spark at the same time for a couple, however we have noticed in social situations and clubs we have connected to and become friends with couples we maybe wouldn’t have messaged on here, more so because they have amazing personalities and the attraction grew from there. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
This happened to us too in the early years.
Four way attraction is difficult to achieve if your lady is picky.
We went down the threesome route with exceptional single males. Always an upgrade for her in looks, body and cock size |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Nothing wrong with being picky, we have also found it difficult in the past to both have that spark at the same time for a couple, however we have noticed in social situations and clubs we have connected to and become friends with couples we maybe wouldn’t have messaged on here, more so because they have amazing personalities and the attraction grew from there. X "
We agree with the personality thing it makes it better |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We like who we like and if there not for us thats ok to and if where not for them thats ok to.
Its a pitty trying to find a lovely bi couple or a lovely bi lady or a lovely guy or bi guy for drinks,fun
And more.
We are still searching  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
"Do people’s standards change when horny ? Think a lot of peoples do just doesn’t get admitted  "
no .... id rather have a wank than go with someone i did not sexually fancy talk about a turnoff |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
"We seem to be the pickiest couple ever… don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing
Should we be more open minded or stick to own standards "
 : Drop your standards, open filters, push your limits, broaden horizons
: Stick to your own rules, adhere to your standards, maintain your limits
Whatever side you listen to - just enjoy your life |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
Personality means nothing if theres no sexual chemistry i agree its not about looks alone but with the same token its not about Personality alone neither ... the horn has to connect and the eyes n brain do that first ie sexual attraction ...if the no sexual attraction theres no action full stop
a tramp could have a good Personality but your not going to sleep with him.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eediousMan
over a year ago
Smallville |
"We seem to be the pickiest couple ever… don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing
Should we be more open minded or stick to own standards "
If you are asking that question, then maybe you aren’t as picky as you think you are. In which case, happy days! Get stuck in. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Standards are subjective.
What I think is high standards some don’t, and vice versa.
I absolutely judge based on people’s veris.
Play with you like/ find attractive/ vibe with.
Each to their own "
All parties of the people we want to sleep with have to find each other attractive. We don’t take one for the team |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Standards are subjective.
What I think is high standards some don’t, and vice versa.
I absolutely judge based on people’s veris.
Play with you like/ find attractive/ vibe with.
Each to their own
All parties of the people we want to sleep with have to find each other attractive. We don’t take one for the team "
Exactly. In my opinion, it’s how it always should be.
If I wouldn’t fuck you in the “real world” I wouldn’t on fab/ clubs.
What what I think “taking one for the team” might be, is different to yours though.
Just gotta be true to yourselves |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Standards are subjective.
What I think is high standards some don’t, and vice versa.
I absolutely judge based on people’s veris.
Play with you like/ find attractive/ vibe with.
Each to their own
All parties of the people we want to sleep with have to find each other attractive. We don’t take one for the team
Exactly. In my opinion, it’s how it always should be.
If I wouldn’t fuck you in the “real world” I wouldn’t on fab/ clubs.
What what I think “taking one for the team” might be, is different to yours though.
Just gotta be true to yourselves "
Yeah that bit where you are on about fucking your in the real world you are right I agree |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Stick to your own and do what feels good for you both! We are picky but not because we think we are hotter than anyone. Mainly comes down to 1. Of we find someone attractive and 2. Do we click with said people.
90% of the time we attend clubs we just fuck between us 2, we have a great sex life and don't do this to make up for anything. We love the vibe of a club night and being around similar people. Of course if we meet someone we like then we are down to play |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We seem to be the pickiest couple ever… don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing
Should we be more open minded or stick to own standards "
I really struggle with this but mainly due to too many bad experiences with men in general and on fab. Makes me hesitant |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago
Nr Leicester |
"22 meets in 6 months. Not that picky
Who? Us?"
Think someone hasn't read the verifications merely counted
Sorry but, we top your pickiness.. Hidden atm and only swoop selectively  x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
i find people that are not picky a massive turn off ..who wants to meet people who will fuck anyone anything anywhere anytime i dont and wont ...see it on profile's looking for anything yuk that to me says there no self respect ..... everyone should be picky and selective |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We seem to be the pickiest couple ever… don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing
Should we be more open minded or stick to own standards "
We actually had a conversation about this the other day. Granted, where we live in a rural part of the world, it's more challenging to meet people, however even taking that into consideration we were wondering if maybe we were too fussy? But actually we decided in the end, no we aren't, we just like what we like. We don't want to meet just anyone or fuck just anyone. That's not what being in the lifestyle us about for us. So to answer your question - no, being picky is not a bad thing
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"i find people that are not picky a massive turn off ..who wants to meet people who will fuck anyone anything anywhere anytime i dont and wont ...see it on profile's looking for anything yuk that to me says there no self respect ..... everyone should be picky and selective"
Massive off put I agree |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago
Nr Leicester |
Bluntly, why shouldn't you be picky? We are utterly happy, plus a bit, in what we've found in each other. Any parties joining us are to add excitement and honestly if we don't get the omg feeling that would create that there's no point!!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I used to think we were picky and thus the problem was us. However as time goes on you realise the real problem is its just hard to find the right people, that supply is the problem. That's not to say there's not lots of awesome people out there on the scene (we've met so many) just not so many that are right for you and how you play.
We all have our own styles of swinging. We see some couples who are just at it all the time with so many different people and it's impressive. But it also makes you wonder if your doing it wrong? But it's not a case anyone is doing it wrong or right. Just everyone has their own way. As long as everytime you do it good then your doing it right
With the right people."
Love this answer!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ebootCouple
over a year ago
Telford |
"I used to think we were picky and thus the problem was us. However as time goes on you realise the real problem is its just hard to find the right people, that supply is the problem. That's not to say there's not lots of awesome people out there on the scene (we've met so many) just not so many that are right for you and how you play.
We all have our own styles of swinging. We see some couples who are just at it all the time with so many different people and it's impressive. But it also makes you wonder if your doing it wrong? But it's not a case anyone is doing it wrong or right. Just everyone has their own way. As long as everytime you do it good then your doing it right
With the right people."
This  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We seem to be the pickiest couple ever… don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing
Should we be more open minded or stick to own standards "
Definitely stick to your standards. Yes there is a percentage that will give you abuse for it. I’m my eyes though- they’re likely to be attracted to your profile so why shouldn’t you be given the same courtesy ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We only meet people we feel an attraction to and sometimes the kind of folks we are attracted to vary but we never ever believe anyone is below (or above) our standards. It is simply a matter of a balance of good vibes and physical attraction. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’m reality we are looking at maybe 2% of the site as being compatible to us, as well as fitting our dynamics and us fitting theirs.
So if that’s picky then no problem, we are. But we don’t just want sex…we want sex with the full orchestra playing and massive fireworks too…and so only that 2% is gonna produce that
K
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
"I’m reality we are looking at maybe 2% of the site as being compatible to us, as well as fitting our dynamics and us fitting theirs.
So if that’s picky then no problem, we are. But we don’t just want sex…we want sex with the full orchestra playing and massive fireworks too…and so only that 2% is gonna produce that
K
"
totally agree with this but 2% wow thats alot i think im in the 0.01% of whom i may like and that seems alot too when those numbers add up |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i find people that are not picky a massive turn off ..who wants to meet people who will fuck anyone anything anywhere anytime i dont and wont ...see it on profile's looking for anything yuk that to me says there no self respect ..... everyone should be picky and selective"
Totally agree with you - we feel the same
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We only meet people we feel an attraction to and sometimes the kind of folks we are attracted to vary but we never ever believe anyone is below (or above) our standards. It is simply a matter of a balance of good vibes and physical attraction."
Your pics and videos are so good you can afford to be picky !! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *LiamMan
over a year ago
Midlands |
"22 meets in 6 months. Not that picky
Who? Us?
Think someone hasn't read the verifications merely counted
Sorry but, we top your pickiness.. Hidden atm and only swoop selectively x"
i'm not a detective. I seen the fact and sent the quote. Not going to read veris. I only look at the pics |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Everyone will eventually adjust to their zone/level. This is just an example and not directed at anyone to be clear. One can be as picky as they want or set a really "high" standard but let's say someone's standard is to go for 10/10 but they themselves are 6/10, it is never going work so you will either never play with anyone or will need to wait for someone with "lower" standards. I don't know what's worse...lowering your own standards or knowing someone has lowered theirs to play with you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eastZMan
over a year ago
London |
Keep your standards. Picky is better than sorry.
However, if you find yourself at a position where you don't meet anyone ever! Then you should reconsider your standards as they MIGHT be unrealistic. I have seen that happens before.
Best of Luck Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago
Nr Leicester |
"22 meets in 6 months. Not that picky
Who? Us?
Think someone hasn't read the verifications merely counted
Sorry but, we top your pickiness.. Hidden atm and only swoop selectively x i'm not a detective. I seen the fact and sent the quote. Not going to read veris. I only look at the pics"
Ah, well that makes it fine to make a uninformed statement about a couples prolificacy on meeting then.
Why would you bother to read their bio before doing so |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *LiamMan
over a year ago
Midlands |
"22 meets in 6 months. Not that picky
Who? Us?
Think someone hasn't read the verifications merely counted
Sorry but, we top your pickiness.. Hidden atm and only swoop selectively x i'm not a detective. I seen the fact and sent the quote. Not going to read veris. I only look at the pics
Ah, well that makes it fine to make a uninformed statement about a couples prolificacy on meeting then.
Why would you bother to read their bio before doing so "
na. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m reality we are looking at maybe 2% of the site as being compatible to us, as well as fitting our dynamics and us fitting theirs.
So if that’s picky then no problem, we are. But we don’t just want sex…we want sex with the full orchestra playing and massive fireworks too…and so only that 2% is gonna produce that
K
totally agree with this but 2% wow thats alot i think im in the 0.01% of whom i may like and that seems alot too when those numbers add up "
Yeah you’re probably right but putting 0.01% seems defeatist …plus we use the forums and only search local now and again so we probably don’t use all the available tools that FAB offers so maybe the percentages would be higher |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
