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Young Guy Advice (Typical I know!)
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I understand this gets asked a lot but has anyone got any advice to help me out with meets! I would love to find some more experienced people to chat with to help me in obtaining meets and dealing with nerves etc. |
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"I understand this gets asked a lot but has anyone got any advice to help me out with meets! I would love to find some more experienced people to chat with to help me in obtaining meets and dealing with nerves etc. "
Go to a club a few times. Chat to people at the bar/ in a jacuzzi. Soon get your nerves sorted and meet a few people. Good luck  |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"I understand this gets asked a lot but has anyone got any advice to help me out with meets! I would love to find some more experienced people to chat with to help me in obtaining meets and dealing with nerves etc. "
Nerves are one of the best thing about it.
Look at the situation. Youve got a guy or a girl there that youve gotten in invite for sex with.
Youve done all the chatting up and havent even had to buy a pint! Providing your face matches you pictures - youre gonna be getting your dick wet - simple as.
How fucking good is that!
As for chatting to someone about it - try Relate possibly lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My advice at that, at 21, you should have girfriends etc. What on earth are you doing on this site at your age (politely). You are unlikely to find a willing woman whose own children are older than you are. That is certainly the case with us.
Hope you trear this comment in the spirit it is meant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My advice at that, at 21, you should have girfriends etc. What on earth are you doing on this site at your age (politely). You are unlikely to find a willing woman whose own children are older than you are. That is certainly the case with us.
Hope you trear this comment in the spirit it is meant."
why should anyone at any age have a girlfriend!! what on earth is it about having to live ur life a certain way!
if someone at 21 doesnt want to settle down and wants fun before they do.. whats the problem?? would certainly seem to stop alot of problems if people settled oncetheyre ready rather than it being the thing to do.. !?!
as long as noone is causing harm to anyone whats the problem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I was 21 again (I wish!) I would get out clubbing and meeting girls etc. .. not on a swingers site. I would leave that until I got bored with my wife/partner. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I was 21 again (I wish!) I would get out clubbing and meeting girls etc. .. not on a swingers site. I would leave that until I got bored with my wife/partner. "
But the kind if girl you meet in a club are normaly very d*unk and still mite not do the things the op is looking to try |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I was 21 again (I wish!) I would get out clubbing and meeting girls etc. .. not on a swingers site. I would leave that until I got bored with my wife/partner. "
but not all 21 year olds like clubbing and pubbing.. or go there to look for a d*unken shag with a young girl who isnt into certain fetishes they maybe wanting to try..
why are clubs just for young people..
society has a lot of answer for.. |
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"If I was 21 again (I wish!) I would get out clubbing and meeting girls etc. .. not on a swingers site. I would leave that until I got bored with my wife/partner. "
You got bored with your wife/hubby/partner that's why you swing  , hope she or he doesn't read this
We definitely don't swing because we are bored or fed up with each other
Why shouldn't the OP swing there is no age limit (other than the legal ones) for swinging and sexual exploration
Good luck OP have fun if you can. Oh try a social their a good way to meet people and get known. See if there are any in your area
xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I was 21 again (I wish!) I would get out clubbing and meeting girls etc. .. not on a swingers site. I would leave that until I got bored with my wife/partner. "
my pont exactly.. dont marry or settle if u think ur gonna get bored with them.. live first and then u wont XD |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks ... at 61 I will take on your extensive experience of life you have obviously experienced more than I have."
i dont like to stereotype people.. but that comment fits perfect for the stereotype of old men XD |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I was 21 again (I wish!) I would get out clubbing and meeting girls etc. .. not on a swingers site. I would leave that until I got bored with my wife/partner.
my pont exactly.. dont marry or settle if u think ur gonna get bored with them.. live first and then u wont XD"
Plus it's nice to see a mix of ages on the site, shouldn't just be for a specific demographic
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I was 21 again (I wish!) I would get out clubbing and meeting girls etc. .. not on a swingers site. I would leave that until I got bored with my wife/partner.
my pont exactly.. dont marry or settle if u think ur gonna get bored with them.. live first and then u wont XD
Plus it's nice to see a mix of ages on the site, shouldn't just be for a specific demographic
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yh cos afterall we all have different preferences.. so somethign for everyone XD
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"In summary, you could not handle Rio. There are, I am sure, plenty of mature women who are not fussy."
LOL, way to stereotype the women who don't live up to your lofty ideals.
I am not worthy!  |
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Oh to be 21 again ? ..I'd be on swing sites, going to clubs..HAVING SEX . not reading crap on forums..enjoy yourself ..treat people nice..be respectful of the ladies, be patient ,try and be yourself ..youv got your whole life to have fun..the nerves will go with time..don't expect to much,every experience makes you the person you will become..you lucky person |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Spellcheck would be good. We have managed to decypher your messages but it takes time."
oh sorry i bow down to ur greatness..
hold on.. u cant read a few typos and spelling mistakes.. cant be that clever then XD
amazing how many people who cant have a comeback to the debate has to pick on things like spelling and grammer.. very sad..
everyone is different and live very different lives.. ur life experience cant be very substansual if you havent learnt this yet.. not everyone wants to live their lives the way you do and noone has to.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am confused as to why you you feel that we do not have a comeback to the debate. What exactly is the debate? I hope you are still able to understand it. I am sorry for my correct spelling, but I find it easaier than mis-spelling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My advice at that, at 21, you should have girfriends etc. What on earth are you doing on this site at your age (politely). You are unlikely to find a willing woman whose own children are older than you are. That is certainly the case with us.
Hope you trear this comment in the spirit it is meant."
I assume that the 21 year olds shouldn't swing theory is taken from the same book of stereotypes that mean you are bored and looking to add some spice to your relationship?  |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"PS take a look at Rio's photos. She has no complaints. You can only wish!"
well you did ask. She has got a pretty big toe nail - id think if people would be put off by 21yr olds they could equally well be put off by a toe nail that could take a chunk out.
But the rest of her looks good - from what I can tell |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"PS take a look at Rio's photos. She has no complaints. You can only wish!"
Sorry, perhaps I'm missing something but what has that got to do with anything? |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"But, of course, if you feel you can't handle an older woman we will understand and will not be surprised."
I dont know why people do this. If you knew me, or even read my profile/verifications, youd know id be wearing my best kid gloves |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"But, of course, if you feel you can't handle an older woman we will understand and will not be surprised."
I do feel sorry for single men. They get dissed for existing and daring to send messages, then told they are too chicken to send messages when they don't. Can't win really, can they? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fair point on the spelling. You have avoided answering my question about the debate that we are supposed to be in. Is this your way of diverting the discussion? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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he may have the opposite feeling that you are too old for him? Its probably nothing to do with the fact that he couldn't handle you just not what he is after and a 3 hour drive is a bit long in my opinion for a meet with someone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nice to get a well thought out answer. You are quite right that we might be too old for him and that we are 3 hours away. That would be the most expensive drink & chat (as per our profile) that we would ever have had.
Rio's sons are both about 10 years older than this highly experienced 21 years old who must have honed his sexual skills in the scouts maybe? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"he may have the opposite feeling that you are too old for him? Its probably nothing to do with the fact that he couldn't handle you just not what he is after and a 3 hour drive is a bit long in my opinion for a meet with someone "
I did a 3 hr drive quite recently (3 in each direction) - but anyway - back to the OPs question!
Take things slowly, have no level of expectancy and just be yourself, remain polite and take any form of rejection (unanswered messages, blocks, "thanks but no thanks") as nothing personal!
Contrary to certain people's _iews - there is no statutory age to enjoy swinging (or whatever you choose to label it) and as others have said - clubs and socials are a great way to meet people rather than expecting an instant one to one meet. You'll get a good opportunity to chat to others without either party thinking all you want is a quick bit of relief and even chatting to those you maybe don't have an attraction to (in playing terms!) will provide you with valuable advice and experience.
In your twenties or your sixties - you have the same rights as anyone - and whilst experience does count and is valuable - we all had to start somewhere, and just because you may have done few more laps of the circuit than someone else doesn't mean you have more to offer to others than those just getting started!!
Good luck OP, and enjoy! |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Not quite sure that is Murphy's Law (or Muphry's Law as you call it) maybe that's an example. Never heard of Muphry. Is he or she a relative?"
Google Muphrys Law. Its a thing, I promise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am confused as to why you you feel that we do not have a comeback to the debate. What exactly is the debate? I hope you are still able to understand it. I am sorry for my correct spelling, but I find it easaier than mis-spelling."
The debate is that not all young guys are as you are putting them and certainly have every right as anyone else to be on this site
They don't have to have a gf or go cluibbing just cos their age..
The debate is stereotyping |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think this is a very well thought out response and very diplomatic, if I may say so. However, there is little a 21 years old boy can do other than offer a stiffie!
If we were still in our twenties and looking for extra excitement then we would both be worried about our relationship. We are, obviously, much older and, we feel, in a stronger position to 'play' without jealousy etc.. just my humble opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My advice at that, at 21, you should have girfriends etc. What on earth are you doing on this site at your age (politely). You are unlikely to find a willing woman whose own children are older than you are. That is certainly the case with us.
Hope you trear this comment in the spirit it is meant.
why should anyone at any age have a girlfriend!! what on earth is it about having to live ur life a certain way!
if someone at 21 doesnt want to settle down and wants fun before they do.. whats the problem?? would certainly seem to stop alot of problems if people settled oncetheyre ready rather than it being the thing to do.. !?!
as long as noone is causing harm to anyone whats the problem"
Cannot agree with you more, why is there set ages for people to have girlfriends? It's all this couple seems to keep saying in threads and it's embarrassing!
people have different tastes in life, I understand that. If I want to go out with my mates and pull a girl my own age I will but if I want to find a more mature women who wants to have fun with me then I will do that as well. Different people have different tastes. Your narrow mindedness should not be thrown on to other people! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nice to get a well thought out answer. You are quite right that we might be too old for him and that we are 3 hours away. That would be the most expensive drink & chat (as per our profile) that we would ever have had.
Rio's sons are both about 10 years older than this highly experienced 21 years old who must have honed his sexual skills in the scouts maybe? "
Ok lets just say he became sexually active at 16 who's to say he hasn't bedded a different girl every weekend? Or once a fortnight, thats 5 years of experience even at once a month that puts his tally at 60 partners would you call 60 partners experienced?
This theoretical of course, but the level of ones experience cannot be based on their age its what they have done in those years that counts someone at 60 can have lived a very sheltered life and be in the scene for 2 weeks where as someone at 25 could have had 5 years in this scene who is the most inexperienced? there age is but a number. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I was 21 again (I wish!) I would get out clubbing and meeting girls etc. .. not on a swingers site. I would leave that until I got bored with my wife/partner.
You got bored with your wife/hubby/partner that's why you swing , hope she or he doesn't read this
We definitely don't swing because we are bored or fed up with each other
Why shouldn't the OP swing there is no age limit (other than the legal ones) for swinging and sexual exploration
Good luck OP have fun if you can. Oh try a social their a good way to meet people and get known. See if there are any in your area
xx
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have not mentioned seduction I notice. You simply mention shagging a lot of girls. We have all done that... it means nothing versus making love to a woman... but we thank you for demonstrating your attitude towards women.
We will make a point of ignoring you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have not mentioned seduction I notice. You simply mention shagging a lot of girls. We have all done that... it means nothing versus making love to a woman... but we thank you for demonstrating your attitude towards women.
We will make a point of ignoring you."
I think everyone should ignore you, you're picking on everyone else because you everyone else knows you're wrong.
You're the one who is bored with your partner so you're on a swinging site (Not my words yours, look up in the thread) and you're the one who thinks everyone should follow your ideals.
My attitude towards women is not as blunt as you are making it out. I was making a point. Anyone can go to a club and pull but like has already been mentioned if you fancy a d*unk shag that can be done any time. A conversation drink chat and more constructive meets are done on here where you build friendships and bonds with someone.
I know we know nothing of each other but from reading your threads and posts, you just come across as ignorant. the only age limit I see on this site is you have to be over 18.
Maybe you being 61 should be more thinking about your pension and bus pass than getting your end away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think this is a very well thought out response and very diplomatic, if I may say so. However, there is little a 21 years old boy can do other than offer a stiffie!
If we were still in our twenties and looking for extra excitement then we would both be worried about our relationship. We are, obviously, much older and, we feel, in a stronger position to 'play' without jealousy etc.. just my humble opinion."
Really? Bear in mind we are talking about someone who is single - not in a relationship - therefore where is the jealousy issue relevant?
At 21 I could offer a lot more than a 'stiffie' - had a good few years experience under my belt and met both people my own age and those considerably older!
Age is no guarantee of experience and 'labelling' all those a few years (or many!) younger as being able to offer little is more than a bit patronising!
Just my humble opinion though! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think this is a very well thought out response and very diplomatic, if I may say so. However, there is little a 21 years old boy can do other than offer a stiffie!
If we were still in our twenties and looking for extra excitement then we would both be worried about our relationship. We are, obviously, much older and, we feel, in a stronger position to 'play' without jealousy etc.. just my humble opinion.
Really? Bear in mind we are talking about someone who is single - not in a relationship - therefore where is the jealousy issue relevant?
At 21 I could offer a lot more than a 'stiffie' - had a good few years experience under my belt and met both people my own age and those considerably older!
Age is no guarantee of experience and 'labelling' all those a few years (or many!) younger as being able to offer little is more than a bit patronising!
Just my humble opinion though! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have not mentioned seduction I notice. You simply mention shagging a lot of girls. We have all done that... it means nothing versus making love to a woman... but we thank you for demonstrating your attitude towards women.
We will make a point of ignoring you."
You were talking about experience not seduction, two totally separate things. you don't know me so how can you comment on my attitude towards women? And for a man to have sexual encounters with a lot of women they must be able to seduce them how else are they going to get into the situation where they get to "shag" them as you have put it, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I understand this gets asked a lot but has anyone got any advice to help me out with meets! I would love to find some more experienced people to chat with to help me in obtaining meets and dealing with nerves etc. "
I'm sorry that your thread has been totally distracted from the original point of it.
As has been mentioned socials are great for meeting people, nerves get easier with more meets and just don't take advice from bitter old men
Good luck buddy! |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"No problem.... I have a size 6 to shag every night... no complaints .. Enjoy your size 18s ... mmmmm"
Just wondering - as entertaining as this is. Wouldnt age tell you to bow out gracefully at somepoint - suppose youre as young as ya feel so - sik em Harvey, sik em  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No problem.... I have a size 6 to shag every night... no complaints .. Enjoy your size 18s ... mmmmm"
Seems age and experience doesn't necessarily determine courtesy, respect and manners! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Show you are a man and send a message to Rio. I think you are too weak and lilly-livered for that, aren't you?"
That's your response to everything "Send a message to Rio". She may be good looking in your eyes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and in my eyes, you paint a very ugly picture.
You've totally ruined the OP's thread and seem to in every thread you post in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"Show you are a man and send a message to Rio. I think you are too weak and lilly-livered for that, aren't you?"
I think you need to back off and stop demanding he mail you and stop badmouthing him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Show you are a man and send a message to Rio. I think you are too weak and lilly-livered for that, aren't you?
I thought you said she doesn't like young men?"
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Show you are a man and send a message to Rio. I think you are too weak and lilly-livered for that, aren't you?
That's your response to everything "Send a message to Rio". She may be good looking in your eyes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and in my eyes, you paint a very ugly picture. "
I'm beginning to feel quite sorry for her to be honest.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Show you are a man and send a message to Rio. I think you are too weak and lilly-livered for that, aren't you?"
Would help if you stated who this comment was aimed at?
Given your preferences of 40+ males I suspect most who have posted so far would respect your choice and not get in touch - for no other reasons I'm sure! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My advice at that, at 21, you should have girfriends etc. What on earth are you doing on this site at your age (politely). You are unlikely to find a willing woman whose own children are older than you are. That is certainly the case with us.
Hope you trear this comment in the spirit it is meant."
I'm not a great deal older than the OP, I have no intention or need for a boyfriend, its a lifestyle I choose to live and I've met some amazing people through it. I don't think you should have such an expectation of someone to conform to a vanilla lifestyle based upon their age. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would help if you stated who this comment was aimed at?
Given your preferences of 40+ males I suspect most who have posted so far would respect your choice and not get in touch - for no other reasons I'm sure!"
i think they are talking to you obi as apparently i don't know how to seduce a women?!?!?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My advice at that, at 21, you should have girfriends etc. What on earth are you doing on this site at your age (politely). You are unlikely to find a willing woman whose own children are older than you are. That is certainly the case with us.
Hope you trear this comment in the spirit it is meant.
I'm not a great deal older than the OP, I have no intention or need for a boyfriend, its a lifestyle I choose to live and I've met some amazing people through it. I don't think you should have such an expectation of someone to conform to a vanilla lifestyle based upon their age. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not a great deal older than the OP, I have no intention or need for a boyfriend, its a lifestyle I choose to live and I've met some amazing people through it. I don't think you should have such an expectation of someone to conform to a vanilla lifestyle based upon their age. "
But apparently you are too young to be into swinging trust them they are very experienced  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not a great deal older than the OP, I have no intention or need for a boyfriend, its a lifestyle I choose to live and I've met some amazing people through it. I don't think you should have such an expectation of someone to conform to a vanilla lifestyle based upon their age.
But apparently you are too young to be into swinging trust them they are very experienced "
You may laugh about it but I have had that said to me in cupids before. The answer everyone gets is the short version, "I am in control of my life, you are in control of yours" I do what I want when I want and it makes for a happy Ruby. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would help if you stated who this comment was aimed at?
Given your preferences of 40+ males I suspect most who have posted so far would respect your choice and not get in touch - for no other reasons I'm sure!
i think they are talking to you obi as apparently i don't know how to seduce a women?!?!?! "
If that's the case I'm afraid I'll have to politely decline the suggestion.
I've yet to hit 40 and much as I enjoy meeting couples I prefer to know ill get on with both parties - and although one half may be different to what I've seen so far - sadly with me it's important to like and respect both! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I understand this gets asked a lot but has anyone got any advice to help me out with meets! I would love to find some more experienced people to chat with to help me in obtaining meets and dealing with nerves etc. "
OP-See your nerves as part of the thrill and overcoming them an achievable challenge. If your nerves are due to concerns of being liked as a person, check out the socials section of the forum and get along to one. To feel more settled, try having a conversation with posters to give them a feel of who you are which will make them more interested in meeting them.
If nerves are down to 'performing' then you may find chatting to people in a neutral setting (such as a social) makes you feel more relaxed and if you are lucky enough to meet people who are interested in taking things further, then you may find that sharing your nerves with them will ensure that they make extra special effort to relax you.
Never assume that you're going to end up eventually playing with anyone you meet or message. Hold conversations like you would at a friend's party to let people get to know you better.
Enjoy yourself-even of you don't find what you're looking for, take the positives out of whatever you do and put them to use learning.
crystal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does she know you were bored with her ?
 "
Hehe - I was wondering that. Boredom is the precise reason that I have no want a relationship, but even if I was in a relationship I'm not sure I'd want my partner telling telling the world he was bored with me so we started swinging! But who am I to comment, being a young un! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it very amusing that the most immature posts on this thread are from a 'mature' man (can't bring myself to write gentleman).
Just goes to show that age does not bring maturity! "
But he's has so much life experience! We should all bow down to him!! 
He's gone now and the forum is a much better place for it |
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"I understand this gets asked a lot but has anyone got any advice to help me out with meets! I would love to find some more experienced people to chat with to help me in obtaining meets and dealing with nerves etc. "
Contrary to some people's belied on here experience does not come with age and i would wager this isn't your only avenue of eeting people, I should imagine you do go out on the town etc.
Try to chat to people, either in the chat rooms, on the forums and in pm's. Maybe attend a few socials where your charm can be experienced first hand. |
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"I understand this gets asked a lot but has anyone got any advice to help me out with meets! I would love to find some more experienced people to chat with to help me in obtaining meets and dealing with nerves etc.
Contrary to some people's belied on here experience does not come with age and i would wager this isn't your only avenue of eeting people, I should imagine you do go out on the town etc.
Try to chat to people, either in the chat rooms, on the forums and in pm's. Maybe attend a few socials where your charm can be experienced first hand. "
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LOL if I was 21 I'd be out clubbing every Thursday, Friday and Saturday...
I'd also be on here. And plentyoffish etc. etc.
I'd be sowing my wild oats like I'd never sowed before!
It does make me laugh when people patronise someone just because of their age. There are plenty of women and couples on here in there twenties who I am sure would enjoy a 21yo! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"LOL if I was 21 I'd be out clubbing every Thursday, Friday and Saturday...
I'd also be on here. And plentyoffish etc. etc.
I'd be sowing my wild oats like I'd never sowed before!
It does make me laugh when people patronise someone just because of their age. There are plenty of women and couples on here in there twenties who I am sure would enjoy a 21yo!"
Not sure I'd do all the above.
BUT totally agree with it, if you're 21 you're free to do whatever you please.
Just don't upset grandma Rio! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Show you are a man and send a message to Rio. I think you are too weak and lilly-livered for that, aren't you?"
your coming across as a right cock,like a stuck record |
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"Just look at the photos of Rio and wish!!!"
No one but you is talking about your wife but you won't stop going on about people messaging her or being labelled wimps. That's diversion. I think I'll stick with my inferior size 8 (massive eh?) girlfriend and the lovely open minded people we've met on here. I can't offer them more than 'a stiffy' of course but for some reason we manage to have fun without you.
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