FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Deleting without looking
Deleting without looking
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What’s occurring when someone deletes a message without looking at a profile and pics?
If you send a message seemingly containing everything someone is looking for (fitting their needs/desires, requests, location etc), and of course polite, non-pushy (no red flags, just a gentle ‘hi there, this is me… love the profile, interested in chatting further, etc) - and they just delete without looking at your profile??? What are they looking for?
I’d understand if they read the message, took a look at the pics and went ‘nope, not our cup of tea’. That I get, totally. But not even looking ? What are they after? Rainbow unicorns and moons on sticks?
I don’t get it? Anyone explain? |
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
I look at profiles before replying to a msg or not replying, I have my profile hidden from looked at me, I imagine alot of people on here do, maybe they are looking OP but they're just not showing on your looked at me. |
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"I look at profiles before replying to a msg or not replying, I have my profile hidden from looked at me, I imagine alot of people on here do, maybe they are looking OP but they're just not showing on your looked at me."
Ah, you never know, that could be it. I really don’t mind if they look and think ‘nope’, but I didn’t realise you can set up a hidden ‘looked at me’ option.
What benefits does that bring? Is it to stop the hassle or something else? |
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"I look at profiles before replying to a msg or not replying, I have my profile hidden from looked at me, I imagine alot of people on here do, maybe they are looking OP but they're just not showing on your looked at me.
Ah, you never know, that could be it. I really don’t mind if they look and think ‘nope’, but I didn’t realise you can set up a hidden ‘looked at me’ option.
What benefits does that bring? Is it to stop the hassle or something else?"
Hiding your profile from being seen to have visited, prevents a lot of comeback questions about visiting. Some assume that there's interest, just because of the view  |
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"For us, we check profile, if boring, very few pics or none at all and lazy profile we delete.
"
And that makes sense as you might have been sent a decent message/contact, but the pics and profile are not what you’re looking for. Totally understand that. You’ve got to find what you want from Fab.
But I think it’s strange to delete without even looking.
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"As well as looking in stealth mode they may just not be looking at that time and have too many messages. People can go hot and cold in terms of how much they are looking for others. "
Good point. |
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"As well as looking in stealth mode they may just not be looking at that time and have too many messages. People can go hot and cold in terms of how much they are looking for others. "
Totally agree with that. Sometimes you can get bored with messages after you see the 50th of the day is a ‘Hi, how are you guys doing ?’ or ‘What you up to ?’ and their profile picture is of a cock, I have to bolt the door to stop Dee running to meet with them within 5 minutes with charm such as that overflowing ! |
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"As well as looking in stealth mode they may just not be looking at that time and have too many messages. People can go hot and cold in terms of how much they are looking for others.
Totally agree with that. Sometimes you can get bored with messages after you see the 50th of the day is a ‘Hi, how are you guys doing ?’ or ‘What you up to ?’ and their profile picture is of a cock, I have to bolt the door to stop Dee running to meet with them within 5 minutes with charm such as that overflowing !"
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"For us, we check profile, if boring, very few pics or none at all and lazy profile we delete.
And that makes sense as you might have been sent a decent message/contact, but the pics and profile are not what you’re looking for. Totally understand that. You’ve got to find what you want from Fab.
But I think it’s strange to delete without even looking.
"
If the profile is lacking effort with just a silhouette as profile pic we don't imagine the message has much more to offer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most women and a lot of couples browse in  mode, so you won't know if they've looked at your profile or not.
If they've deleted your message they've either performed a bulk clearout of their inbox or they've looked at your profile and don't think you're suitable for them |
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"Most women and a lot of couples browse in mode, so you won't know if they've looked at your profile or not.
If they've deleted your message they've either performed a bulk clearout of their inbox or they've looked at your profile and don't think you're suitable for them"
How do you turn on stealth mode? |
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"Most women and a lot of couples browse in mode, so you won't know if they've looked at your profile or not.
If they've deleted your message they've either performed a bulk clearout of their inbox or they've looked at your profile and don't think you're suitable for them
How do you turn on stealth mode?"
Account - Privacy - and then it’s the first option. Gamechanger! |
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We'll look at a profile in stealth mode. If we're not together when we see a message, one of us will read it and then mark it 'unread' to keep track of it so the other can read it later.
Sometimes we'll 'unread' it and then delete it as it can help prevent the usual follow up 'didn't like what I wrote' messages, which can turn nasty. |
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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago
Ilkeston |
If a message contains an attachment in my inbox i can almost say with 99.9% accuracy that its a dick pic. I have on my profile not to send them and if it has an attachment its going to be a dick pic so it gets deleted. There may be the odd person who doesn’t but its got the the point i really just dont want to see them so i apologize to anyone who didnt send one and got deleted
Some people like me also dont want to meet loads and loads of people so there is no point in opening the message and getting peoples hopes up.
There can be many different reasons which a lot of the time are not a reflection on you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t get it? Anyone explain?"
Step 1: Set profile privacy.
Step 2: View profile/Read Message.
Step 3: Read Message/View profile.
Step 4: Mark as unread.
Step 5: Delete message/Block & Delete.
Simples  |
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I am going to say this purely for the benefit of single guys on here (which I am one) based on 10 years fab membership.
The sooner you get your head round messages being deleted read or unread the better. Fab actually state “if you are not interested, delete”.
Like footballers arguing with referees d you think you can change the decision?? NO YOU CANNOT. MOVE ON |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always check out the profile first, if that doesn't interest me I won't read the message. If there's no pics on profile or none in message I won't read it either x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I look at profiles before replying to a msg or not replying, I have my profile hidden from looked at me, I imagine alot of people on here do, maybe they are looking OP but they're just not showing on your looked at me.
Ah, you never know, that could be it. I really don’t mind if they look and think ‘nope’, but I didn’t realise you can set up a hidden ‘looked at me’ option.
What benefits does that bring? Is it to stop the hassle or something else?"
I've got mine set hidden, I've done it to stop hassle, |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I always look at a profile before I open any new message but they will never know I look at them because I do it in ninja mode.If the profile doesn't interest me or what I can read of the message does not appeal I'll delete it without reading.
As for someone who messages me who thinks they match what I'm looking for,just because they might think they do does not mean I will think the same.
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"What’s occurring when someone deletes a message without looking at a profile and pics?
If you send a message seemingly containing everything someone is looking for (fitting their needs/desires, requests, location etc), and of course polite, non-pushy (no red flags, just a gentle ‘hi there, this is me… love the profile, interested in chatting further, etc) - and they just delete without looking at your profile??? What are they looking for?
I’d understand if they read the message, took a look at the pics and went ‘nope, not our cup of tea’. That I get, totally. But not even looking ? What are they after? Rainbow unicorns and moons on sticks?
I don’t get it? Anyone explain?"
Maybe they remember you in a previous incarnation. And simply delete. I've done it to some of my messages. |
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I always check profiles first (in stealth mode) before opening any message. If their profile doesn’t appeal to me, I’ll delete the message unread. If their profile is really bad I’ll block and delete, unread. Sounds harsh but it’s the easiest way to avoid hassle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What’s occurring when someone deletes a message without looking at a profile and pics?
If you send a message seemingly containing everything someone is looking for (fitting their needs/desires, requests, location etc), and of course polite, non-pushy (no red flags, just a gentle ‘hi there, this is me… love the profile, interested in chatting further, etc) - and they just delete without looking at your profile??? What are they looking for?
I’d understand if they read the message, took a look at the pics and went ‘nope, not our cup of tea’. That I get, totally. But not even looking ? What are they after? Rainbow unicorns and moons on sticks?
I don’t get it? Anyone explain?"
Simple explanation for you here mate
We make it very clear what we are looking for, and whenever we turn the "looking for meets" setting on, we easily get about 20 proposition per hour and it's common to come back to the sites after a few hours with hundreds of unread messages. It just consume too much time to review every profile and reply a "thanks but no thanks" message.
Also there have been times where we change our mind and no longer look to meet and it's basically time to delete all messages |
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If we see a dick pic as a profile pic or dodgy name or see it’s just a hi, delete straight away.
We aren’t going to get on so no point engaging.
If someone replies after we’ve said no, delete straight away - conversation over, no point carrying on the chat.
We used to reply to everything but there’s no point.
K |
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