FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Waiting for a better offer...
Waiting for a better offer...
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We've had this twice recently...
See a meet advertised, contact them and they are keen and want to do it, but.....
They are waiting to see if they have anyone else contact them before they commit.
We're left hanging.
They then don't get a better offer, by this point we've made other plans (the day before planned meet), they get sh*ty... 
This is why we prefer clubs... |
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"We've had this twice recently...
See a meet advertised, contact them and they are keen and want to do it, but.....
They are waiting to see if they have anyone else contact them before they commit.
We're left hanging.
They then don't get a better offer, by this point we've made other plans (the day before planned meet), they get sh*ty...
This is why we prefer clubs..."
Or they bottle it and make up excuses |
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"We've had this twice recently...
See a meet advertised, contact them and they are keen and want to do it, but.....
They are waiting to see if they have anyone else contact them before they commit.
We're left hanging.
They then don't get a better offer, by this point we've made other plans (the day before planned meet), they get sh*ty...
This is why we prefer clubs...
Or they bottle it and make up excuses "
More likely  |
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I've never had a no show in my time here but 2 different women used me as Plan B.
Arranged to meet and then I got suspicious when they went quiet close to the day so I asked them to confirm the time and location.
Both had excuses why they couldn't make it and both had new veries the next morning.
One of those veries actually named the coffee shop we were supposed to meet in.
They might have seen it as a better offer but I thought it was a shitty thing to do. |
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"I've never had a no show in my time here but 2 different women used me as Plan B.
Arranged to meet and then I got suspicious when they went quiet close to the day so I asked them to confirm the time and location.
Both had excuses why they couldn't make it and both had new veries the next morning.
One of those veries actually named the coffee shop we were supposed to meet in.
They might have seen it as a better offer but I thought it was a shitty thing to do. "
Absolutely,
We treat everyone the same as we do outside Fab life, you wouldn't treat a friend like that, so don't do it on here xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Luckily we've never had a no show but if we thought someone was playing us along or waiting to see if (in their opinion) something better popped up then we'd contact them and explain why we was backing out of the meet. |
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We were recently chatting to a nice guy, nice mix of amiable and confident and seemed to have his head screwed on. When we meet, we need a couple of weeks or so to plan and it says that in our profile. So when we suggested one of the May Bank Holidays to meet he came back to say he couldn't plan I'm advance due to work. It might be true. Or he may have an undisclosed wife or partner. But given his age and he didn't suggest a date himself, he was probably holding out for a 'better' offer. Then just a few days before the bank holiday we originally suggested, up he pops after 2 weeks of silence "I'm free if you guys still want to meet". Makes us glad we're not single. |
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By *orthernJayMan
over a year ago
DXB / SG / Thailand Krabi |
Human nature is just that, people will ‘game’ others if it suits their needs/purpose and in my experience nothing will change that!
As a couple, we’d make plans that suited us, dates/times/location etc and then invite others to join us if they were available; if not then fine, their loss, if they no showed, their loss, better offer (I don’t think so!!), again their loss!
Anybody who arranged to meet us and didn’t then instant block, unless they specifically told us before because let’s face it, that’s just pure manners!
Karma always gets them in the end, we had three occasions where we met people in local clubs, all over us and “are you on Fab?”, she’d sneak to the toilet and check our private notes which we kept on everyone we’d met and spoke with; low and behold, no shows, so we’d call them out there and then to their face, nowhere to hide!
What’s the advert?……priceless 
Do what works for you, don’t wait to see if you work for others! That’s my advice for what it’s worth!
Be safe  |
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"We've had this twice recently...
See a meet advertised, contact them and they are keen and want to do it, but.....
They are waiting to see if they have anyone else contact them before they commit.
We're left hanging.
They then don't get a better offer, by this point we've made other plans (the day before planned meet), they get sh*ty...
This is why we prefer clubs..."
Welcome to the single male life of fab |
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Likewise this is why we prefer just to go to clubs.
Most of it is fair enough and understandable I guess. Although I'm not entirely sure we'd be down for anyone who see's us as plan B, C or D. The only bit I don't get is how anyone could be shitty with you for making other arrangements. Like it's your duty to stay exclusively on standby incase they happen chose you in the end.
Sounds like you dodged a right pair of fools. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
If I thought I was anyone's plan b on here or in life outside of here I wouldn't meet them. Why would I want to be the person they met but really wasn't into.
I meet people I want to meet (when I am meeting) and I would never treat anyone like a plan b so I don't expect to be treated like that by anyone else either. |
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"I've never had a no show in my time here but 2 different women used me as Plan B.
Arranged to meet and then I got suspicious when they went quiet close to the day so I asked them to confirm the time and location.
Both had excuses why they couldn't make it and both had new veries the next morning.
One of those veries actually named the coffee shop we were supposed to meet in.
They might have seen it as a better offer but I thought it was a shitty thing to do. "
That's rotten! |
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"I've never had a no show in my time here but 2 different women used me as Plan B.
Arranged to meet and then I got suspicious when they went quiet close to the day so I asked them to confirm the time and location.
Both had excuses why they couldn't make it and both had new veries the next morning.
One of those veries actually named the coffee shop we were supposed to meet in.
They might have seen it as a better offer but I thought it was a shitty thing to do. "
That's rotten! |
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We would consider that to be extremely rude.
Unfortunately we have also fallen foul of the opposite problem and very recently too.
Put up a meet, got chatting, found a match.
Another potential pair of playmates get in touch, we politely tell them that whilst we would love to play we have already committed to another meet and perhaps we could arrange another day.
First playmates then let us down, and we're doubly cross because we turned down someone else for them.
But; it's still the right way to do things; what can you do |
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When we have used a backup guy it's not a case of 'you're not good enough to be Plan A', More a case of 'Aw we'd meet you both if we could, but how would you like to be our backup guy in case of a no-show?' Honestly we've never had anyone take offence, they always have the manners to appear gracious anyway lol. Maybe it's how we say things? We'd never let someone be our backup guy without telling him the situation though. That would be a crappy thing to do.
Mr&Mrs |
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"When we have used a backup guy it's not a case of 'you're not good enough to be Plan A', More a case of 'Aw we'd meet you both if we could, but how would you like to be our backup guy in case of a no-show?' Honestly we've never had anyone take offence, they always have the manners to appear gracious anyway lol. Maybe it's how we say things? We'd never let someone be our backup guy without telling him the situation though. That would be a crappy thing to do.
Mr&Mrs"
I've had a number of couples messaging with instructions of things they need me to do in order to get on their to-do list for future events. (Their words not mine).
These are profiles with 100+ veries and I've never spoken to them before.
One of those requirements was to be on standby at an hours notice to fill in for someone dropping out.
When I refused I was always told it was my loss and I would never have any luck on here if I didn't take opportunities when they were presented to me like that. |
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"When we have used a backup guy it's not a case of 'you're not good enough to be Plan A', More a case of 'Aw we'd meet you both if we could, but how would you like to be our backup guy in case of a no-show?' Honestly we've never had anyone take offence, they always have the manners to appear gracious anyway lol. Maybe it's how we say things? We'd never let someone be our backup guy without telling him the situation though. That would be a crappy thing to do.
Mr&Mrs
I've had a number of couples messaging with instructions of things they need me to do in order to get on their to-do list for future events. (Their words not mine).
These are profiles with 100+ veries and I've never spoken to them before.
One of those requirements was to be on standby at an hours notice to fill in for someone dropping out.
When I refused I was always told it was my loss and I would never have any luck on here if I didn't take opportunities when they were presented to me like that. "
Really? It shouldn't surprise us. Some couples think they're God's gift to Fab
Mr&Mrs |
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"When we have used a backup guy it's not a case of 'you're not good enough to be Plan A', More a case of 'Aw we'd meet you both if we could, but how would you like to be our backup guy in case of a no-show?' Honestly we've never had anyone take offence, they always have the manners to appear gracious anyway lol. Maybe it's how we say things? We'd never let someone be our backup guy without telling him the situation though. That would be a crappy thing to do.
Mr&Mrs"
Sounds like you're just being honest, that way you're not mucking anyone around x |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
we find this happens when your looking for regular ..you find that guy he knows hes regular but he'll use's it as a back up plan for if there's nothing new or anything going on ... it works for a few weeks they get a few veri's then it drys up then they expect to run back as regular ... erm no jog on its so easy to see but they think they are being clever
and no i dont want anyone to be exclusive as i wont be to them but ill never use people as a game |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We've had this twice recently...
See a meet advertised, contact them and they are keen and want to do it, but.....
They are waiting to see if they have anyone else contact them before they commit.
We're left hanging.
They then don't get a better offer, by this point we've made other plans (the day before planned meet), they get sh*ty...
This is why we prefer clubs..."
This recently happened to me! Arranged a meet & she was obviously trying to secure other meets with her time off, which is fine! But she started reading msgs & just not replying until hours later or a day or so later & by then i had got bored so i deleted our thread of msgs & then she blocked me lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone is waiting for a better offer then we say let them wait because we won't be held in reserve. Nobody wants to be the least worst option"
This. I wouldn’t care how much I wanted to meet them.
I’m nobody’s second best! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone is waiting for a better offer then we say let them wait because we won't be held in reserve. Nobody wants to be the least worst option
This. I wouldn’t care how much I wanted to meet them.
I’m nobody’s second best!"
Love that response! |
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Agree with those that say it’s a shitty thing to do. If they haven’t met you or their other options before, how do they know which will be best? Regardless of that, if they’ve committed to meet they should honour that. They committed for a reason. I’m sure if they’re so popular they will get another chance to meet their other options rather than spoil any chance they had of ever meeting you.
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"We've had this twice recently...
See a meet advertised, contact them and they are keen and want to do it, but.....
They are waiting to see if they have anyone else contact them before they commit.
We're left hanging.
They then don't get a better offer, by this point we've made other plans (the day before planned meet), they get sh*ty...
This is why we prefer clubs..."
Omg you are joking !
Don’t be left hanging
If someone said to me they were waiting to see who contacted I.e a better offer I would tell them to shove it up their arse !
Bloody rude  |
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