FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Say can accomodate but can't
Say can accomodate but can't
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have mine set to can't accommodate because I have kids with me most the time. If I set it to accommodate people think I can have people round at the drop of a hat.
So I then I talk to people who say they can accommodate... but then more you chat they then actually can't .... lots of different reasons given.... some honest like me have kids etc an so very rare they can have people at theirs.... some it becomes clear they are actually attached and so will only accommodate when other half is away (that doesn't make me feel comfortable) .....
.... then there are those who say they cam accommodate but actually mean a car fuck 
Do other people experience this? Is it mostly people trying to get round filters? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We can accommodate but that doesn't mean every minute of every day, its a shame people can't be a bit more polite and understanding. "
I completely understand I am the same, I never expect anyone to meet at the drop of a hat or get shitty if they can't. I have just come across others who turns out can't accommodate but their profile says they can .... but they expect me to host when mine says I can't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes! To some can accom means cars, or they just put it to increase their chances of meeting, then discuss all kinds of weird and wonderful places to have sex. Being honest would be much better. If you’re attached just say that. Most people are rather understanding. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Yep I think it is a way to cheat filters,theres more chance of meeting /chatting if it looks like they can accom as many are suspicious otherwise.
I was chatting to a bloke a few years ago,said he could accom ,funny there was always an excuse though like family visiting or work being done.
I don't blame people not wanting to accom untill they know someome etc,i wouldn't.But be honest with others,its just like changing your age or adding a pic to get round a filter. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can accommodate, but only at the times I am free and able to play, as I have my son living with me.
"
Exactly my situation and I completely understand that |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"I have mine set to can't accommodate because I have kids with me most the time. If I set it to accommodate people think I can have people round at the drop of a hat.
So I then I talk to people who say they can accommodate... but then more you chat they then actually can't .... lots of different reasons given.... some honest like me have kids etc an so very rare they can have people at theirs.... some it becomes clear they are actually attached and so will only accommodate when other half is away (that doesn't make me feel comfortable) .....
.... then there are those who say they cam accommodate but actually mean a car fuck
Do other people experience this? Is it mostly people trying to get round filters? "
nope i live in a shared house so can accomodate but some people aren't interested  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yep I think it is a way to cheat filters,theres more chance of meeting /chatting if it looks like they can accom as many are suspicious otherwise.
I was chatting to a bloke a few years ago,said he could accom ,funny there was always an excuse though like family visiting or work being done.
I don't blame people not wanting to accom untill they know someome etc,i wouldn't.But be honest with others,its just like changing your age or adding a pic to get round a filter."
Totally. Chatted to someone for a while, had a social ... then after not being able to meet for ages I asked what I was missing ... turns out they are married despite very clearly telling me they were single ..... FFS |
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"I have mine set to can't accommodate because I have kids with me most the time. If I set it to accommodate people think I can have people round at the drop of a hat.
So I then I talk to people who say they can accommodate... but then more you chat they then actually can't .... lots of different reasons given.... some honest like me have kids etc an so very rare they can have people at theirs.... some it becomes clear they are actually attached and so will only accommodate when other half is away (that doesn't make me feel comfortable) .....
.... then there are those who say they cam accommodate but actually mean a car fuck
Do other people experience this? Is it mostly people trying to get round filters? "
I think assuming things about people who choose to put cant accomodate is a bit silly.
If someone says they cant accomodate i find the hypocrisy of digging out others who choose not to odd.
Two adults who want to get together can surely find a way if they really want to.
Share a travelodge might be a way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have mine set to can't accommodate because I have kids with me most the time. If I set it to accommodate people think I can have people round at the drop of a hat.
So I then I talk to people who say they can accommodate... but then more you chat they then actually can't .... lots of different reasons given.... some honest like me have kids etc an so very rare they can have people at theirs.... some it becomes clear they are actually attached and so will only accommodate when other half is away (that doesn't make me feel comfortable) .....
.... then there are those who say they cam accommodate but actually mean a car fuck
Do other people experience this? Is it mostly people trying to get round filters?
I think assuming things about people who choose to put cant accomodate is a bit silly.
If someone says they cant accomodate i find the hypocrisy of digging out others who choose not to odd.
Two adults who want to get together can surely find a way if they really want to.
Share a travelodge might be a way. "
I totally respect if someone can't accommodate ... would never ask them to if they cant ... what I was saying was there are those who have it ticked on their profile that they can accommodate and then it turns out they can't but expect me who has it ticked that I can't accommodate to host. |
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I have mine set to can't. I live with my partner and we play separately so we keep our house as ours. If we met someone we wanted to play with together we absolutely would accommodate but it's easier just to say can't on here. |
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By *t0600Man
over a year ago
elvedon |
I just state that I can’t accom as I have a lodger who is a friend . Sometimes it would be possible for me to accom and I could let the other person know that but no point on stating I can accom when I can’t all the time that’s the way I look at it |
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It is a pity that people take "I can" for I will with everything you put on here.
I spend a lot of time chatting to newbies on here and the best piece of adivice I think I give is under state and over deliver.
As someone has said previously if you dont say you can it gives you the option to say yes and its not automatically expected. |
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Yes, I found this one too. When I challenge them on this, they mostly respond they can book a hotel, it’s an accommodation, isn’t it? Or a car, that’s very often too. Or an outdoor “meet”, really? 
I chose to not accommodate as I have kids living with me, it’s their home and I don’t feel comfortable inviting strangers over.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to have that i can accom but would explain that it would only be occasionally when my son wasnt home, used to get some guys asking if they could "pop" over and when i said no my son was at home they would say il pop in while hes sleeping, straight block, no way not ever.
I have cant accom nowadays but still get the ones asking  |
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I quite often get chatting with guys who say they can accom (my profile says I cannot) then when it comes to arranging a meet it's 'so where do you live?', 'come to yours' etc.
If my profile says no and yours says yes, where did you think this was going to be?
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"It is a pity that people take "I can" for I will with everything you put on here.
I spend a lot of time chatting to newbies on here and the best piece of adivice I think I give is under state and over deliver.
As someone has said previously if you dont say you can it gives you the option to say yes and its not automatically expected."
Spot on. Surely the point is that whatever is on your profile is a guide only and a simple adult to adult conversation can sort simple things like logistics out. |
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"I quite often get chatting with guys who say they can accom (my profile says I cannot) then when it comes to arranging a meet it's 'so where do you live?', 'come to yours' etc.
If my profile says no and yours says yes, where did you think this was going to be?
"
Wherever you both agree its going to be. |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
Can but not all the time as I'm a single parent, will not accom to anybody as this is my childs house as well and will only accom to someone I get to know well, a fwb, if I ever get one. Its not only men that can be physcos. |
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"I say I can't. I actually can, I just don't want anyone to come round my house "
Me too. Had enough of men coming back uninvited in the small hours and knocking on the door and window to be let in. |
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By *amierebelMan
over a year ago
My own little world |
"Can but not all the time as I'm a single parent, will not accom to anybody as this is my childs house as well and will only accom to someone I get to know well, a fwb, if I ever get one. Its not only men that can be physcos."
This is exactly my situation to |
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"I say I can't. I actually can, I just don't want anyone to come round my house
Me too. Had enough of men coming back uninvited in the small hours and knocking on the door and window to be let in. "
WTF that's horrifying |
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"I say I can't. I actually can, I just don't want anyone to come round my house
Me too. Had enough of men coming back uninvited in the small hours and knocking on the door and window to be let in.
WTF that's horrifying "
One guy used to do it at regular intervals until I threatened to call the police. He told me to "watch my car" as I'd taken him home from a party. When I got to my car, both passenger tyres were flat. |
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"I say I can't. I actually can, I just don't want anyone to come round my house
Me too. Had enough of men coming back uninvited in the small hours and knocking on the door and window to be let in.
WTF that's horrifying
One guy used to do it at regular intervals until I threatened to call the police. He told me to "watch my car" as I'd taken him home from a party. When I got to my car, both passenger tyres were flat. "
Its almost worth getting a ring camera just to catch the fucker |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have mine set to can't accommodate because I have kids with me most the time. If I set it to accommodate people think I can have people round at the drop of a hat.
So I then I talk to people who say they can accommodate... but then more you chat they then actually can't .... lots of different reasons given.... some honest like me have kids etc an so very rare they can have people at theirs.... some it becomes clear they are actually attached and so will only accommodate when other half is away (that doesn't make me feel comfortable) .....
.... then there are those who say they cam accommodate but actually mean a car fuck
Do other people experience this? Is it mostly people trying to get round filters? "
Ive said accomodate on mine but have been spooked a couple of times by creepy suggestions and what may do now know where i live, so its about avvomodating to those you build a trust with over time. I have because of the spooked stuff told others i wont accomodate. Its a difficult thing to say whan you are genuine but others arent ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can accommodate, but not just anyone and never for the first time of meeting. That rule applies to everyone. Either some people feel offended when I tell them that, or maybe think I am lying and cheating, but it is a common deal breaker. |
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By *azza72Man
over a year ago
Leeds |
"I can accommodate, but not just anyone and never for the first time of meeting. That rule applies to everyone. Either some people feel offended when I tell them that, or maybe think I am lying and cheating, but it is a common deal breaker."
This  |
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"I can accommodate, but not just anyone and never for the first time of meeting. That rule applies to everyone. Either some people feel offended when I tell them that, or maybe think I am lying and cheating, but it is a common deal breaker.
This "
I agree for some people its a deal breaker. Why though? Because they expect someone else to invite strangers into their home but arent prepared to do so themselves. Youre better off not having folk like that around you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can accommodate, but not just anyone and never for the first time of meeting. That rule applies to everyone. Either some people feel offended when I tell them that, or maybe think I am lying and cheating, but it is a common deal breaker.
This
I agree for some people its a deal breaker. Why though? Because they expect someone else to invite strangers into their home but arent prepared to do so themselves. Youre better off not having folk like that around you. "
It could just be the excuse to back out of the potential meet. It makes no sense that someone would come to my home but not meet up in McDonalds car park first. Might not get the meet, but you can get a big Mac as a consolation. |
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To be honest I have said no to a couple of well verified women who insisted on only meeting in their own home.
My reasons were that if they had such little concern for their own personal safety that they would invite me as a complete stranger into their home for a first meet they weren't people I wanted to meet.
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