FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Is it just us?
Is it just us?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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95% of our messages are from single men who send a cock shot and a two or three word message.
Does that work for anyone else on here as we never answer them?
It happens many times a day so please men, explain why you do it? Does it work for you?
We always answer an intelligent message but tend to block the others. |
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A regular occurrence for us too. But we’ve also started getting longer messages with lots of detail, info and mention what they have read/seen on our profile - but are clearly copy and paste messages because they are contradict what it says on our profile  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This site is a waste of time for most genuine decent people.
99.9% of men here are attached, they want a shag, they want it now and they don't want their partner to know! Furthermore, they have no standards and do not expect us to have any either.
We have been looking for a replacement buddy for perhaps over a year. Hopefully that 0.01% person will get in touch soon  |
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"95% of our messages are from single men who send a cock shot and a two or three word message."
I've ever understood why guys do this. They are probably the same ones who moan they don't get any replies, let alone meets.
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"95% of our messages are from single men who send a cock shot and a two or three word message.
Does that work for anyone else on here as we never answer them?
It happens many times a day so please men, explain why you do it? Does it work for you?
We always answer an intelligent message but tend to block the others."
Pretty much a straight delete |
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By *t0600Man
over a year ago
elvedon |
What I think happens is the majority of men on here get very little in the way of replies so they literally try and message as many profiles as they can and in order to do this they can only send one word messages with cock shot or they would be here all day writing messages haha |
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"Jesus Christ, what is wrong with some guys.
I had a message from a guy essentially saying he'd r@pe me in front of my husband...charming person..."
Aww how flattering for you! Nice to feel special |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How long should be first message? "
Put in some effort, read their profile!
If you think that you might meet their requirements, message them and put in some effort and at least give yourself a chance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus Christ, what is wrong with some guys.
I had a message from a guy essentially saying he'd r@pe me in front of my husband...charming person..."
Afraid to say that if we met with him, he would leave very battered and bruised and unlikely to make the same statements again!
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"95% of our messages are from single men who send a cock shot and a two or three word message.
Does that work for anyone else on here as we never answer them?
It happens many times a day so please men, explain why you do it? Does it work for you?
We always answer an intelligent message but tend to block the others."
Shhhh! Don’t give us ‘5 percenters’ secrets away!  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I don't understand why those who are unhappy with the kind of messages they get from single men, don't just block them and do their own searching.
Alternatively, clubs work well.
Nita"
Bingo.  
It guarantees you'll only ever make contact with those that catch your eye and you'll never have another random cock appear in your inbox over breakfast.
Why should guys have to do all the work, even if that work is 30 seconds of effort. 
A |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What I think happens is the majority of men on here get very little in the way of replies so they literally try and message as many profiles as they can and in order to do this they can only send one word messages with cock shot or they would be here all day writing messages haha "
You are probably right.. but why a cock shot and a lewd message which said anywhere else would get you arrested.
Treat others as you would when you first spoke to them in a pub.. it will get you much better results. |
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By *t0600Man
over a year ago
elvedon |
"What I think happens is the majority of men on here get very little in the way of replies so they literally try and message as many profiles as they can and in order to do this they can only send one word messages with cock shot or they would be here all day writing messages haha
You are probably right.. but why a cock shot and a lewd message which said anywhere else would get you arrested.
Treat others as you would when you first spoke to them in a pub.. it will get you much better results."
For me it’s actually mind blowing why on earth you would think an unwanted picture of your old boy and a brain dead message will get you anywhere near a conversation with the person or people your messaging |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I don't really receive those messages.
I think I've maybe had two like that in the past month?
I think if I was getting irked by cocks filling my box, I'd probably close my box. You know, filter it up a bit. |
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"A regular occurrence for us too. But we’ve also started getting longer messages with lots of detail, info and mention what they have read/seen on our profile - but are clearly copy and paste messages because they are contradict what it says on our profile "
Those ones make me laugh, the long drawn out messages that don't add up! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On the flip side, as a single guy, you can send say 10 messages - all well written and appropriate to the person you're sending them to and nothing gets a response.
Women & couples are overwhelmed with short, dumb, pointless messages and dick pics, but those of us who take time & care over messaging get about a 99% rejection/ignore rate in the same way the willy wavers do.
While it takes time for women & couples to respond to all the bullshit they get (and hence they rightly ignore them), for the rest of us it takes a lot of time & effort to get nowhere because our well thought out messages also get ignored. As a result, the guys who DO try, get frustrated as well and end up sending short messages or winks.
It's a double edged sword. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't send pics and certainly not dick pics.
I look at the profile, pics and send a personal message however I rarely get a reply, if I do it's normally a one liner.
I've seen lots saying here they don't like one liners or dick pick and say winks are lazy.
Personally I think a wink is the best way to show interest, if the other party is interested they message or wink back.
Can't win I suppose! Feel free to message/wink etc on my profile. |
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"95% of our messages are from single men who send a cock shot and a two or three word message.
Does that work for anyone else on here as we never answer them?
It happens many times a day so please men, explain why you do it? Does it work for you?
We always answer an intelligent message but tend to block the others."
We have ten messages in unread now not worth the trouble of opening. Only one message in 4 weeks warranted a response. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I use quite a few filters ,so i don't get that many messages.
Unfortunately I do still get cock pics & one liners like u free? Or Wuu2?.I delete the one liners and write a private note on their profile.
I block anyone who sends me dick pics in a first message. |
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I get dick pics all the time. Sometimes I ask them whether they can read (. Profile says don’t send cock pics)
Sometimes I block.
Sometimes I ask them why they think that would make me want to meet them after seeing their little Willy.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"95% of our messages are from single men who send a cock shot and a two or three word message.
Does that work for anyone else on here as we never answer them?
It happens many times a day so please men, explain why you do it? Does it work for you?
We always answer an intelligent message but tend to block the others."
that right there is the reason us decent single guys have very little chance on here . they give us a very bad rep and i hope the majority of us are decent guys though going by your stats of 95% of messages you get from single guys it looks like us decent ones are sadly in the minority. I really don't get the mentality of sending random dick pics. I would only ever send them if they were asked for. I find about 75% of women and couples have pretty much blocked single guys from messaging altogether and its a shame as we are not all bad but I do get why  |
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"Well, then you spend the time reading the profile and sending a nice message that’s worth reading - and it stays unread. Lol. Perseverance is the key to fab
swingers! "
I'm always concerned you'd be thought of as pestering, rather than persistent. |
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"95% of our messages are from single men who send a cock shot and a two or three word message.
Does that work for anyone else on here as we never answer them?
It happens many times a day so please men, explain why you do it? Does it work for you?
We always answer an intelligent message but tend to block the others."
I think you'll find the guys who do this don't use the forum. |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
its pretty str8 forward if you get a message that you dont like of find offensive / creepy / hate / troll then block ??? they are telling you they are not for you a simple block job done yep you may find yourself doing this often but slowly but surely to are helping your self for the long run there simply no need to block all men unless you dont want to meet men..
but people would rather moan about single guys and not block ? the tools are there to make the job easy ....
i block alot it works its the most effective tool on fab .... use it and you'll find you'll moan less |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
"95% of our messages are from single men who send a cock shot and a two or three word message.
Does that work for anyone else on here as we never answer them?
It happens many times a day so please men, explain why you do it? Does it work for you?
We always answer an intelligent message but tend to block the others.
I think you'll find the guys who do this don't use the forum. "
oh they do .... i find it amazing that people who use these forums think that they are above those outside of it .... i dont meet guys who use the forum for a very good reason ''theu think the forums is the rule book of swinging '' its not its the bioggest section of ''fake'' and ''oh look at me'' ...
there's a reason why most swingers dont use it
(not all of course) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Forum snobbery is rife, I'd agree with that.
Also, a lot of the topics covered on the forums have nothing to do with the vast majority of people who use the forums, so the results are often skewed. |
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I'm afraid it's par for the course on here now. We mainly use the site now to stay in touch with what's happening at various clubs.
The friends we've made are in hubby's phone and vice versa. Occasionally I have a nosey round the forums as does hubby but that's about it.  |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
If you don't want those messages be proactive and block men from messaging .It's a simple solution.If you do ever want to meet men then search for those you like and make first contact,rather than give out about what won't change. |
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"I get dick pics all the time. Sometimes I ask them whether they can read (. Profile says don’t send cock pics)
Sometimes I block.
Sometimes I ask them why they think that would make me want to meet them after seeing their little Willy.
"
Willy is such a funny word  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me I just get bored of writing essays for them to just get blocked or ignored . So start with few pics now that way if I get a reply I know theres a mutual attraction. Must admit I normally start with all 3 . Face body and dick. |
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I dont!
I send full messages with clear face picture. No idea why youd start by getting your cock out and being superficial!
My trouble is I will get chatting and seems like it goes well, flirting, a little naughty, then hear nothing back!
Just the way it is, some people are busy, some just change thier minds. Sometimes I think I have said something that has turned them off. |
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By *ooDeNimMan
over a year ago
Nuneaton, also London and Wiltshire |
"95% of our messages are from single men who send a cock shot and a two or three word message.
Does that work for anyone else on here as we never answer them?
It happens many times a day so please men, explain why you do it? Does it work for you?
We always answer an intelligent message but tend to block the others."
In a way that sort of behaviour is a form of natural selection; people who put so little thought, imagination and effort in to their initial message are probably the ones that you wouldn’t want to chat to anyway, so a swift block and delete is probably the best course of action.
Personally, I send a polite message and include a face pic. I accept that we all have our preferences so it may be that I’m not that person’s type, and that’s ok! |
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It's pretty hard for a lot of people to remember just cuz you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD & if you can't put together two or three paragraphs of intelligent conversational messaging is a waste of a lot of people's time and time is the one thing no one seems to have enough of |
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"I never do cock pic, however im not going to write an essay to get no reply!
If your in a pub you just say hi, whats wrong with a message saying “hi there !”"
The difference is body language and instant assessment of mutual attraction.
You don’t have it on here so that’s why your message needs to stand out.
I’d delete “hi there” message without opening, and I’m not probably the only one. |
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By *iya2311Man
over a year ago
maidstone |
"95% of our messages are from single men who send a cock shot and a two or three word message.
Does that work for anyone else on here as we never answer them?
It happens many times a day so please men, explain why you do it? Does it work for you?
We always answer an intelligent message but tend to block the others."
Also blokes maybe send dicpics because of amount of women on here with an obsession for either BBC. Or VWE must be hung
So what do you expect? |
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I must admit i tend to sent a slightly cut and paste, with add-ins mentioning things in their profile etc. I don't send any pics, there are some on my profile, and i can send a face pic if asked.
It doesn't make any difference as i get very vey few replies... |
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"95% of our messages are from single men who send a cock shot and a two or three word message.
Does that work for anyone else on here as we never answer them?
It happens many times a day so please men, explain why you do it? Does it work for you?
We always answer an intelligent message but tend to block the others.
Also blokes maybe send dicpics because of amount of women on here with an obsession for either BBC. Or VWE must be hung
So what do you expect? "
That's a good point. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"95% of our messages are from single men who send a cock shot and a two or three word message.
Does that work for anyone else on here as we never answer them?
It happens many times a day so please men, explain why you do it? Does it work for you?
We always answer an intelligent message but tend to block the others.
Also blokes maybe send dicpics because of amount of women on here with an obsession for either BBC. Or VWE must be hung
So what do you expect?
That's a good point."
I don't think it is. I've done searches for women many times and not found many looking solely for bbc or vwe.
It's a Fab phallacy as far as I'm concerned. |
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I'm always aware of the block button if I don't meet their criteria (basic filters) try to recognize unwanted message I know the block botton is real quickly available worse than being blocked is knowing someone's unhappy with you because this is supposed to be a fun place after all |
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This isn’t the type of message that I send, so I can’t say for certain, but I’d say it’s a variation on the approach I’ve heard some use on Tinder etc…
Basically the theory is that if you send a couple of hundred quick easy messages, and say 5% reply, that’s still 10 replies, which can be a better return than if you send 10 well thought out messages….
It’s also indicative that the man sending doesn’t actually care who replies and is more the “any hole is a goal” type |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have become immune to messages like that.
It used to really wind me up and was spoiling my enjoyment of the site.
These days I just block and delete.
So much easier |
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By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire/Northwest |
"95% of our messages are from single men who send a cock shot and a two or three word message.
Does that work for anyone else on here as we never answer them?
It happens many times a day so please men, explain why you do it? Does it work for you?
We always answer an intelligent message but tend to block the others."
On the rare occasion we open messages to men the only ones Mrs replies to are the ones who send a cock pic and get straight to the point.
The ones who try to flirt, chat her up or go white knight just get an instant block.
If shes looking for a guy its just for a fuck and bye so in answer to your question, yes it does work. |
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"95% of our messages are from single men who send a cock shot and a two or three word message.
Does that work for anyone else on here as we never answer them?
It happens many times a day so please men, explain why you do it? Does it work for you?
We always answer an intelligent message but tend to block the others.
On the rare occasion we open messages to men the only ones Mrs replies to are the ones who send a cock pic and get straight to the point.
The ones who try to flirt, chat her up or go white knight just get an instant block.
If shes looking for a guy its just for a fuck and bye so in answer to your question, yes it does work."
And that just proves you can't win! |
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"95% of our messages are from single men who send a cock shot and a two or three word message.
Does that work for anyone else on here as we never answer them?
It happens many times a day so please men, explain why you do it? Does it work for you?
We always answer an intelligent message but tend to block the others.
On the rare occasion we open messages to men the only ones Mrs replies to are the ones who send a cock pic and get straight to the point.
The ones who try to flirt, chat her up or go white knight just get an instant block.
If shes looking for a guy its just for a fuck and bye so in answer to your question, yes it does work.
And that just proves you can't win!"
Funnily enough, women are not a homogeneous blob, our natures and preferences do vary  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"95% of our messages are from single men who send a cock shot and a two or three word message.
Does that work for anyone else on here as we never answer them?
It happens many times a day so please men, explain why you do it? Does it work for you?
We always answer an intelligent message but tend to block the others.
Also blokes maybe send dicpics because of amount of women on here with an obsession for either BBC. Or VWE must be hung
So what do you expect? "
If that were true then why do guys who are neither BBC's or in any way hung send dick pics?
Because they do all the time..... 
A |
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"95% of our messages are from single men who send a cock shot and a two or three word message.
Does that work for anyone else on here as we never answer them?
It happens many times a day so please men, explain why you do it? Does it work for you?
We always answer an intelligent message but tend to block the others.
Also blokes maybe send dicpics because of amount of women on here with an obsession for either BBC. Or VWE must be hung
So what do you expect?
If that were true then why do guys who are neither BBC's or in any way hung send dick pics?
Because they do all the time.....
A"
Maybe some like small ones! |
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Think I’ve reached a saturation point where I’ve pretty much either declined all those within a suitable distance for whatever reason, or socialled/met anyone who’s hubby and I think is good match.
Now most of my messages from anyone new are pretty much how you describe.
I have better success and a better quality of messages from elsewhere. |
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"On the flip side, as a single guy, you can send say 10 messages - all well written and appropriate to the person you're sending them to and nothing gets a response.
Women & couples are overwhelmed with short, dumb, pointless messages and dick pics, but those of us who take time & care over messaging get about a 99% rejection/ignore rate in the same way the willy wavers do.
While it takes time for women & couples to respond to all the bullshit they get (and hence they rightly ignore them), for the rest of us it takes a lot of time & effort to get nowhere because our well thought out messages also get ignored. As a result, the guys who DO try, get frustrated as well and end up sending short messages or winks.
It's a double edged sword."
This is very similar to couples in a relationship. Whilst the sex and companionship is good there are other times when things aren’t so great. These times take work, commitment, trust and want for each other and their happiness. So Boo Hoo to your struggle and frustration single guy. Your entitlement is what is so off putting for couples, especially the male. Not once in your response have you mentioned the couples relationship, desires and reasons for doing this. It appears from our view point you are assuming all couples are easy or arrogant. Psychologists call this character projection. And many couples see this. Useful hint, couples discuss their ambitions and desires, what they both want from this, how they are going to protect each other, themselves and most importantly their relationship. Clubs are easier because the environment turns both partners on, rooms and equipment are alluring and curiosity plays in their minds. At home in their own secure house and day to reminders all around then a message from a single guy has to really connect and communicate their desires for the above not yours. As Op said almost all single guys can’t do this. Even a well written scripted message very rarely shows any understanding of the couple’s relationship and desires. Only concentrates on the female and how you will show her a good time. As a couple we don’t just read what’s written in the message we also read between those lines. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"95% of our messages are from single men who send a cock shot and a two or three word message.
Does that work for anyone else on here as we never answer them?
It happens many times a day so please men, explain why you do it? Does it work for you?
We always answer an intelligent message but tend to block the others."
This has unfortunately been our general experience of single guys on here as well. Its so disheartening because there are obviously decent guys out there, but they get overshadowed by these guys...
Mrs |
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By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago
london stratford |
"95% of our messages are from single men who send a cock shot and a two or three word message.
Does that work for anyone else on here as we never answer them?
It happens many times a day so please men, explain why you do it? Does it work for you?
We always answer an intelligent message but tend to block the others."
I can say that has never happened to me.
tbh I very rarely get a message on here. |
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"You can change message settings to stop them "
That’s if they want to stop all single men messaging them first, which they may not want…
… although that’s exactly what I’ve advised a few people to do in the past.
Blocking single guys means you don’t get bombarded with dross messages, and if you see a single guys profile that you like, you can still message them and then they can reply |
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"I never do cock pic, however im not going to write an essay to get no reply!
If your in a pub you just say hi, whats wrong with a message saying “hi there !”"
Absolutely nothing wrong with a Hi message.
If someone wants to meet you they will. Regardless of the message you send (utter filth excluded).
I look at the profile first and decision to reply is normally made at that point. So yeah Hi is perfectly acceptable.
Don't understand why folk want guys to write war and peace in a first message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most of the work on Fab for us is deleting all the 2-3 word messages, the dick pics, the winks and friend requests from people we don't know. That filters out all the guys we don't want to meet.
We can then focus on the few messages we get where some effort has gone into them. We don't expect War and Peace but a couple of lines to introduce yourself and a face pic and we will reply even if it is just to say no thanks. |
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By *iya2311Man
over a year ago
maidstone |
"I never do cock pic, however im not going to write an essay to get no reply!
If your in a pub you just say hi, whats wrong with a message saying “hi there !”
Absolutely nothing wrong with a Hi message.
If someone wants to meet you they will. Regardless of the message you send (utter filth excluded).
I look at the profile first and decision to reply is normally made at that point. So yeah Hi is perfectly acceptable.
Don't understand why folk want guys to write war and peace in a first message. "
I know , its as if people want people to beg for a reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get messages that range from long paragraphs to "You free now?" "U free later xx"
The attention is nice and all that but really they should be recording a video on YouTube of them serenading me with song.
/s |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never do cock pic, however im not going to write an essay to get no reply!
If your in a pub you just say hi, whats wrong with a message saying “hi there !”
Absolutely nothing wrong with a Hi message.
If someone wants to meet you they will. Regardless of the message you send (utter filth excluded).
I look at the profile first and decision to reply is normally made at that point. So yeah Hi is perfectly acceptable.
Don't understand why folk want guys to write war and peace in a first message.
I know , its as if people want people to beg for a reply"
I wish it was even just "hi" messages we got. We don't expect War and peace, but we equally don't expect unsolicited dick pics and "wanna fuck?" messages as first messages...we are two of the most laid back and easy going people and don't feel we are asking for much other than politeness from people, but for many that seems a big ask. Which is a shame as it spoils things for the genuine guys
Mrs |
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"I never do cock pic, however im not going to write an essay to get no reply!
If your in a pub you just say hi, whats wrong with a message saying “hi there !”
Absolutely nothing wrong with a Hi message.
If someone wants to meet you they will. Regardless of the message you send (utter filth excluded).
I look at the profile first and decision to reply is normally made at that point. So yeah Hi is perfectly acceptable.
Don't understand why folk want guys to write war and peace in a first message.
I know , its as if people want people to beg for a reply
I wish it was even just "hi" messages we got. We don't expect War and peace, but we equally don't expect unsolicited dick pics and "wanna fuck?" messages as first messages...we are two of the most laid back and easy going people and don't feel we are asking for much other than politeness from people, but for many that seems a big ask. Which is a shame as it spoils things for the genuine guys
Mrs "
I did say excluding utter filth.
Some messages are straight deletes.
Then I look at profiles of those who remain... don't like profile, straight delete. Like the profile then 1st message isn't that important. It's the follow up message once I've replied that matters more.
Also copy n paste porn fantasy of what they will do do me... straight delete. How do you even know if I'm into the shit you are sending suppose it's a pretty good filter right enough |
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