 |
By *P_A OP Man
over a year ago
London |
What does everyone think of this? There seems to be a lot of profiles stating BB only these days.
Of course it feels better and we may get carried away now and then but to meet someone with 100 plus verifications who insists on BB just seems like asking for trouble.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *P_A OP Man
over a year ago
London |
It's a fair point and we all how freedom to make our own decisions.
I was just surprised by amount of people now on here insisting on BB.
We all known its a competitive market for single men on here, it just feels like some are risking themselves for some action when maybe they shouldn't.
Honestly, I'm not as boring as this sounds just sharing thoughts! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
STI rates are on the up and before we get the usual, "it's our choice" etc I'll ask them to Google tertiary syphili, neuro syphilis and antibiotic resistant gonorrhoea (where there's only one antibiotic left to treat it). A person's choice should be an informed one.
https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/sexually-transmitted-infections-stis-annual-data-tables/sexually-transmitted-infections-and-screening-for-chlamydia-in-england-2021-report#:~:text=in%202021%2C%20there%20were%20311%2C604,1.7%25%20increase%20compared%20to%202020 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's a fair point and we all how freedom to make our own decisions.
I was just surprised by amount of people now on here insisting on BB.
We all known its a competitive market for single men on here, it just feels like some are risking themselves for some action when maybe they shouldn't.
Honestly, I'm not as boring as this sounds just sharing thoughts!"
I don't worry about the ones who insist on it, I'm far more concerned by the ones (and we've met some) who state 'safe sex only' then ask for bareback when you meet them because "we all trust each other". It's the ones who keep it quiet who are the riskiest |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *erby DomCouple
over a year ago
Ashbourne(ish) and Chesterfield(ish) |
"It's a fair point and we all how freedom to make our own decisions.
I was just surprised by amount of people now on here insisting on BB.
We all known its a competitive market for single men on here, it just feels like some are risking themselves for some action when maybe they shouldn't.
Honestly, I'm not as boring as this sounds just sharing thoughts!
I don't worry about the ones who insist on it, I'm far more concerned by the ones (and we've met some) who state 'safe sex only' then ask for bareback when you meet them because "we all trust each other". It's the ones who keep it quiet who are the riskiest"
Absolutely on point there, having it on a profile allows others to make an informed decision, hiding it and then surreptitiously asking for it is a huge red flag for us. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I just don't get it.
Yes, feels better without, but not to the extent where you would risk your health. God knows who else has been dipping there wick in there.
Obviously oral is OK without  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aveonMan
over a year ago
Dartford |
"Who cares what other people on here are doing? If you don't agree with it - don't meet them  "
I agree - everyone makes their own mind up - I won’t judge others
Personally my default is safe, but I get tested, now have prep available as an additional back up.
I just see how it goes when I meet and have an open discussion when I do |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
its good that they've been upfront I'd say & gives you the choice to meet or not.
It wouldn't be my thing,but each to their own.
I'm guessing loads will covertly do bareback because of the reactions they'd get of they were honest. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *P_A OP Man
over a year ago
London |
For those defensive, the point of this discussion is not about caring what other people do, I was just interested in the why and what others thought.
People might think it is madness but I've met people on here and on nights out and gone BB the first night so this could be viewed worse/a bigger risk. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have to say I am too surprised on how many people will go bear back. I'm myself will only play safe unless comfortable and we both agree.. no point in risking it.. its all good fun anyway  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
What we don't understand is how anyone can say "safe sex only" and yet never go and get tested. Not to even mention the ones who actually get offended when we ask the last time they got tested. They are happy to do unprotected fingering, oral, rimming, etc without any thought about it. Cock in pussy/ass is not the only transmission route.
Get tested regularly. Know your status. Talk about it openly and honestly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What we don't understand is how anyone can say "safe sex only" and yet never go and get tested. Not to even mention the ones who actually get offended when we ask the last time they got tested. They are happy to do unprotected fingering, oral, rimming, etc without any thought about it. Cock in pussy/ass is not the only transmission route.
Get tested regularly. Know your status. Talk about it openly and honestly."
This exactly ^
In 20 years had 1 sti on the penis (several years ago). Caught by oral sex and only highlighted as the person contacted me to say they had a tested for it in the mouth… no symptoms at all.. so how many are out there unknown.. especially married guys who don’t go to clinics as they worried partner find out.. and yes they are out there I’ve known 1 or 2..
Now test 3 monthly and on prep as back
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Its a touchy subject for me. I worry about this all the time. I play with condoms 99% of the time. But I do go natural with one regular partner who's as careful as me if not more so. I think you have to weigh the risk and make your decisions. If someone is deliberately reckless and seeing 100s of partners bb style then I'd be worried and probably avoid.
The key for me is to get tested and not play reckless all the time bc you are really testing your luck. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The solution to that is not meet them.  . I'd rather people felt comfortable to say they prefer bareback without fear of judgement because we can all make our own decisions then"
Too many judgemental people on here for sure |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Because I absolutely love it, and it improves the dynamic for me and hubby, I do unprotected with guys I’ve met a few times and trust, and have had the occasional accident when carried away too. I don’t insist on it by any means, and more often than not I insist protection is used. It’s completely my choice and nobody else’s business. I’m honest about it up front. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eanorWoman
over a year ago
? |
"It's absolutely fine if want a cocktail of STI's , personally i wrap in in latex or she will have your pay checks plus and don't fancy genital warts"
You can get genital warts with a condom it skin on skin contact , and its the man who carries the virus by the way |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"STI rates are on the up and before we get the usual, "it's our choice" etc I'll ask them to Google tertiary syphili, neuro syphilis and antibiotic resistant gonorrhoea (where there's only one antibiotic left to treat it). A person's choice should be an informed one.
https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/sexually-transmitted-infections-stis-annual-data-tables/sexually-transmitted-infections-and-screening-for-chlamydia-in-england-2021-report#:~:text=in%202021%2C%20there%20were%20311%2C604,1.7%25%20increase%20compared%20to%202020"
You can catch these sti s without barebacking.
It also doesn't matter really if you meet lots or just the odd one person.
It only takes one.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"There is also the added complication that lot of men who state they are straight are really bi. Add that to the bareback lottery and risks increase"
Only if they are not getting regular tests and taking their health seriously.
There is very little lottery for him now with PrEP .
For any other STI then you can catch them from contact with anyone, male or female or any mix of sexual proclivity.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I just don't get it.
Yes, feels better without, but not to the extent where you would risk your health. God knows who else has been dipping there wick in there.
Obviously oral is OK without "
Why would you think oral is OK without a condom then ?
You can still catch STIs from oral and they can be a bugger to treat if they're a resistant strain.
It's really not safer .
Get regular tests and take your health seriously. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
thats a really ignorant thing to say, you can literally google the statistics of sti contraction, and its currently straight men who have slightly higher diagnosis of sti rates and especially hiv.
Most queer men are on prep and have taken responsibility as a community to charge of diagnosis. Please look into this before making a ignorant and bi/homophobic remark like that.
most cishet people arent even on prep or get a regular 3 month check up like queer men. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"thats a really ignorant thing to say, you can literally google the statistics of sti contraction, and its currently straight men who have slightly higher diagnosis of sti rates and especially hiv.
Most queer men are on prep and have taken responsibility as a community to charge of diagnosis. Please look into this before making a ignorant and bi/homophobic remark like that.
most cishet people arent even on prep or get a regular 3 month check up like queer men. "
Precisely this.
I'm astounded that on a sex site , people seem so clueless as to their sexual health and what they would consider as a risk. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have someone on my hot list been chatting to for a whole keen to meet her, but now found out she does bareback and she's had 8 verifications of meets in last couple of months presumably all bareback and creampie. Her profile says safe sex only, might have to rethink my hotlist. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
and just echoing that bb penetration isn't the only COMMON way to contract sti's - as full grown adults its your responsibility to educate yourself. Not "look over there what they're doing"
in my experience i've never picked anything up from sexually active partners, usually its from "oh I'm not like that, I don't sleep with many people" that have a cocktail at the ready, their own shame somehow makes them immune from stis? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The most common way to get chlamydia is by having unprotected vaginal, anal or oral sex (sex without a condom). Other ways of getting chlamydia include: sharing sex toys that aren't washed or covered with a new condom each time they're used. infected semen or vaginal fluid getting into your eye."
"How do people get gonorrhea? Gonorrhea is transmitted through sexual contact with the penis, vagina, mouth, or anus of an infected partner. Ejaculation does not have to occur for gonorrhea to be transmitted or acquired. Gonorrhea can also be spread perinatally from mother to baby during childbirth."
"Syphilis is usually spread by contact between moist skin areas anywhere on or inside the body. Some of the ways you can catch it include: unprotected vaginal, anal or oral sex (without a condom) kissing or licking the anus"
"Most people who get HIV get it through anal or vaginal sex, or sharing needles, syringes, or other drug injection equipment (for example, cookers). But there are powerful tools that can help prevent HIV transmission."
"Genital warts are a common sexually transmitted infection caused by a virus called Human Papilloma Virus (HPV). This virus is passed on through direct skin-to-skin contact with someone who has HPV on their skin. It can be passed from person to person during vaginal and anal sex."
"Shigella can pass from stool or soiled fingers of one person to the mouth of another person, including during sexual activity. People who are experiencing homelessness are at high risk for Shigella infection when there is shigellosis spread in the community."
- all of those are ways of being transferred aside from penetration |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What does everyone think of this? There seems to be a lot of profiles stating BB only these days.
Of course it feels better and we may get carried away now and then but to meet someone with 100 plus verifications who insists on BB just seems like asking for trouble...."
When I was meeting often I was tested regularly at a frequency determined by my sex health expert two was very realistic. There's always a risk even kissing or oral. Even if you use condoms you need be be tested. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
""The most common way to get chlamydia is by having unprotected vaginal, anal or oral sex (sex without a condom). Other ways of getting chlamydia include: sharing sex toys that aren't washed or covered with a new condom each time they're used. infected semen or vaginal fluid getting into your eye."
"How do people get gonorrhea? Gonorrhea is transmitted through sexual contact with the penis, vagina, mouth, or anus of an infected partner. Ejaculation does not have to occur for gonorrhea to be transmitted or acquired. Gonorrhea can also be spread perinatally from mother to baby during childbirth."
"Syphilis is usually spread by contact between moist skin areas anywhere on or inside the body. Some of the ways you can catch it include: unprotected vaginal, anal or oral sex (without a condom) kissing or licking the anus"
"Most people who get HIV get it through anal or vaginal sex, or sharing needles, syringes, or other drug injection equipment (for example, cookers). But there are powerful tools that can help prevent HIV transmission."
"Genital warts are a common sexually transmitted infection caused by a virus called Human Papilloma Virus (HPV). This virus is passed on through direct skin-to-skin contact with someone who has HPV on their skin. It can be passed from person to person during vaginal and anal sex."
"Shigella can pass from stool or soiled fingers of one person to the mouth of another person, including during sexual activity. People who are experiencing homelessness are at high risk for Shigella infection when there is shigellosis spread in the community."
- all of those are ways of being transferred aside from penetration "
The only 100% safe sex is by camera or phone. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Thing is not even safe sex protects you. Unfortunately herpes HSV 1 & 2 ( genital and mouth) can be transmitted without knowledge through any skin to skin if the carrier is shredding, even symptomless. Many don’t know they have it or they do but don’t suffer outbreaks and think is fine to play.
Everyone has a preference. Just don’t turn up and say ‘oh I forgot condoms’ knowing full well they think you might agree  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
