FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Racism?
Racism?
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist?" This is simply a preference surely? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'm gonna say no. I only want to meet women, am I sexist? " That makes you heterosexual, not sexist | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist?" Yes. Not gonna debate that cause forums. However I'd encourage people who have such "preferences" to read into eurocentric beauty standards and prevailing culture beauty standards to explore why such preferences might be informed by and perpetuate racist structures and systems. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
 | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist?" Yes. At least, the way you've described it - obviously, yes. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist?" We certainly are not racist but we certainly have preference and don't care if people want to make more of it than it is. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Is it groundhog day? I'm sure someone did this yesterday " I wonder who | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"We certainly are not racist but we certainly have preference and don't care if people want to make more of it than it is." A preference based on 'race'? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"For interacting in the swinging world we prefer straight people but that doesn't make us homophobic " Does that sound like a logical equivalence in your head? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"We certainly are not racist but we certainly have preference and don't care if people want to make more of it than it is. A preference based on 'race'? " A preference on what we want or find sexually interesting. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"For interacting in the swinging world we prefer straight people but that doesn't make us homophobic Does that sound like a logical equivalence in your head? " Yes | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist?" So as a Caucasian woman, if I state I would like to only meet non Caucasian guys, ie black guys, asian guys etc, does that make me a racist? X | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'm just going to say it bluntly that people will fuck people that they want to fuck be that a certain age, colour,size, height etc. It doesn't in my eyes make them ageist,racist,sizeist or what ever other ist you want to put on there. And I find it's usually thrown at people when others fall outside their preferences and they want to fuck that person. I find it easier to ignore those whose preferences I fall outside rather than concentrating on those who don't want to interact with me anyhow for whatever reason it may be. " | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist? So as a Caucasian woman, if I state I would like to only meet non Caucasian guys, ie black guys, asian guys etc, does that make me a racist? X" In my personal opinion, no .. If I was to read your profile and see that I'd just think OK cool, and move on  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist? Yes. Not gonna debate that cause forums. However I'd encourage people who have such "preferences" to read into eurocentric beauty standards and prevailing culture beauty standards to explore why such preferences might be informed by and perpetuate racist structures and systems. " I will be honest I don’t really understand the point you are making. I think you are saying that it is racist to only like the definition of beauty that is you see around you and not to like other things? Personally I am all up for that because it means I can now define my ugliness as another counterpoint to “Eurocentric beauty standards” and then make sure that everyone fucks me else they are holding the wrong definition of beauty in their heads and are thus morally questionable. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist? Yes. Not gonna debate that cause forums. However I'd encourage people who have such "preferences" to read into eurocentric beauty standards and prevailing culture beauty standards to explore why such preferences might be informed by and perpetuate racist structures and systems. " Trying to get people on here to accept and acknowledge the impact of Eurocentric beauty standards or historical racist tropes about people of colour on their preferences is literally the most pointless thing. trust me  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist? Yes. Not gonna debate that cause forums. However I'd encourage people who have such "preferences" to read into eurocentric beauty standards and prevailing culture beauty standards to explore why such preferences might be informed by and perpetuate racist structures and systems. I will be honest I don’t really understand the point you are making. I think you are saying that it is racist to only like the definition of beauty that is you see around you and not to like other things? Personally I am all up for that because it means I can now define my ugliness as another counterpoint to “Eurocentric beauty standards” and then make sure that everyone fucks me else they are holding the wrong definition of beauty in their heads and are thus morally questionable. "See | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist? Yes. Not gonna debate that cause forums. However I'd encourage people who have such "preferences" to read into eurocentric beauty standards and prevailing culture beauty standards to explore why such preferences might be informed by and perpetuate racist structures and systems. I will be honest I don’t really understand the point you are making. I think you are saying that it is racist to only like the definition of beauty that is you see around you and not to like other things? Personally I am all up for that because it means I can now define my ugliness as another counterpoint to “Eurocentric beauty standards” and then make sure that everyone fucks me else they are holding the wrong definition of beauty in their heads and are thus morally questionable.
See"Guessing you missed the lesson on sarcasm? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I have been on and off fab for years and these threads show up every damn week. There are so many reasons why someone may want to have sex with only a particular type of person. It's lame, silly and a bit egoistic to think that you can pass judgement on someone's character just because you read one line on their profile that says they will meet only people from one race or not meet people from one race. Yes, a few of those preferences maybe derived out of racism. But not all are. Telling this as an Asian who has met a woman in a social who doesn't play with Asians but still was chatting with me friendly throughout the event. I have also met other people who have interesting choices of the preferences when it comes to race and gave me explanations on why they do so. Swingers and kink communities are supposed to be non-judgemental about one's sexual inclinations. Yet here we are."  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist? Yes. Not gonna debate that cause forums. However I'd encourage people who have such "preferences" to read into eurocentric beauty standards and prevailing culture beauty standards to explore why such preferences might be informed by and perpetuate racist structures and systems. " Fuck that. I'm either attracted to someone or I'm not. They can call me whatever -ist they like. I really couldn't give a crap. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist? Yes. Not gonna debate that cause forums. However I'd encourage people who have such "preferences" to read into eurocentric beauty standards and prevailing culture beauty standards to explore why such preferences might be informed by and perpetuate racist structures and systems. Fuck that. I'm either attracted to someone or I'm not. They can call me whatever -ist they like. I really couldn't give a crap." Yup | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"If its racist, why is ethnicity a filter for searching for playmates. It's just another preference, surely xxx" That’s a great point. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'm gonna say no. I only want to meet women, am I sexist? That makes you heterosexual, not sexist" Or does it make you homophobic | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist? Yes. Not gonna debate that cause forums. However I'd encourage people who have such "preferences" to read into eurocentric beauty standards and prevailing culture beauty standards to explore why such preferences might be informed by and perpetuate racist structures and systems. " Very well said | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"For interacting in the swinging world we prefer straight people but that doesn't make us homophobic Does that sound like a logical equivalence in your head? Yes" Then you either misunderstand logic, sexual orientation, or racial prejudice. Possibly all 3. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist? Yes. Not gonna debate that cause forums. However I'd encourage people who have such "preferences" to read into eurocentric beauty standards and prevailing culture beauty standards to explore why such preferences might be informed by and perpetuate racist structures and systems. Very well said "I may be having a blonde moment but I don't understand what's being said here, could you please explain? Thanks xxx | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist? Yes. Not gonna debate that cause forums. However I'd encourage people who have such "preferences" to read into eurocentric beauty standards and prevailing culture beauty standards to explore why such preferences might be informed by and perpetuate racist structures and systems. " | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"No, it's a preference, Just like preferring guys that are well endowed, Or women of a certain dress size. People can't help what they're attracted to or not. " That's not the same, at all. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist? Yes. Not gonna debate that cause forums. However I'd encourage people who have such "preferences" to read into eurocentric beauty standards and prevailing culture beauty standards to explore why such preferences might be informed by and perpetuate racist structures and systems. Very well said I may be having a blonde moment but I don't understand what's being said here, could you please explain? Thanks xxx"Anyone??? X | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"No, it's a preference, Just like preferring guys that are well endowed, Or women of a certain dress size. People can't help what they're attracted to or not. That's not the same, at all." It is x | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"This was a heated debate yesterday tise this is only post I'm making on this thread. But I think the point I wanted to make is that of the people with those preferences, for some people, it is a genuine preference and for others there are more negative reasons behind it based on racism and negative stereotypes. When I read about these preferences, I immediately assume the reason is because of those stereotypes even if that's not always the case. So those with preferences and genuine reasons can be lumped in with those who are just close-minded." 
More of this please everyone with opposing views.
Chill yer tits and show empathy both ways. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'm gonna say no. I only want to meet women, am I sexist? That makes you heterosexual, not sexist Or does it make you homophobic " Can we please stop watering racism down to this? It is undermining of the impact that racism has on people and the forms that it often takes to have multiple impacts on life chances and also on the symbolic, mental and physical violence that racism has caused and continues to cause. There’s so much academic research on racism available I just think we need to do better than citing an inadequate google or dictionary definition. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Personally I feel that people are attracted to what they're attracted to and it's unlikely to be something that changes vastly or rapidly though can evolve over time. I think people can have preference without it necessarily being problematic but I do think there's certain things we should be mindful of, especially with how those preferences are expressed. I've certainly seen it done so in ways that are less than ideal. In ways that negatively generalise the character of certain ethnicities or that fetishise them. I often find with any preference that's expressed in strict absolutes, there can be more going on beneath the surface. For example, some POC or mixed race folk can be very white passing so if a person was to be attracted to this person believing them to be white after meeting or seeing pictures only to no longer be interested upon finding out they're not white despite being attracted to them, I would wonder why that was. " Agree | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Personally I feel that people are attracted to what they're attracted to and it's unlikely to be something that changes vastly or rapidly though can evolve over time. I think people can have preference without it necessarily being problematic but I do think there's certain things we should be mindful of, especially with how those preferences are expressed. I've certainly seen it done so in ways that are less than ideal. In ways that negatively generalise the character of certain ethnicities or that fetishise them. I often find with any preference that's expressed in strict absolutes, there can be more going on beneath the surface. For example, some POC or mixed race folk can be very white passing so if a person was to be attracted to this person believing them to be white after meeting or seeing pictures only to no longer be interested upon finding out they're not white despite being attracted to them, I would wonder why that was. " And also, the way that beauty standards work is that white passing poc are often seen as more desirable (even within their own racial groups). | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist? Yes. Not gonna debate that cause forums. However I'd encourage people who have such "preferences" to read into eurocentric beauty standards and prevailing culture beauty standards to explore why such preferences might be informed by and perpetuate racist structures and systems. Very well said I may be having a blonde moment but I don't understand what's being said here, could you please explain? Thanks xxx Anyone??? X"Yes | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Having conversations about racism on fab is so exhausting because it’s got to be one of the only topics where everyone assumes themselves to be experts without any lived experiences or doing any reading. although, discussing sexual racism is not entirely pointless. I’ve no interest in friendships or sexual relationships with people that aren’t *willing* to learn about or understand my loved experience on this earth so it serves as great for filtering at least. Ok I’d better go. Stay woke "Thank you for your comments, its always good to hear different perspectives on lived experiences and how we can be more open about them. Although i haven’t commented on the threads i have been reading and taking it in so thank you | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Personally I feel that people are attracted to what they're attracted to and it's unlikely to be something that changes vastly or rapidly though can evolve over time. I think people can have preference without it necessarily being problematic but I do think there's certain things we should be mindful of, especially with how those preferences are expressed. I've certainly seen it done so in ways that are less than ideal. In ways that negatively generalise the character of certain ethnicities or that fetishise them. I often find with any preference that's expressed in strict absolutes, there can be more going on beneath the surface. For example, some POC or mixed race folk can be very white passing so if a person was to be attracted to this person believing them to be white after meeting or seeing pictures only to no longer be interested upon finding out they're not white despite being attracted to them, I would wonder why that was. And also, the way that beauty standards work is that white passing poc are often seen as more desirable (even within their own racial groups). " I get what you're saying Steve but at the same time, as much as people can examine where their preferences come from, I don't think it's in the best interests of people to engage with people who have expressed strong preferences against them at some point. I know it's not the same thing but if someone has expressed strong preferences for slim women and against larger women, even if they do examine their biases and come to the conclusion that it's rooted in fat phobia, I still wouldn't feel safe to have sex with that person and I think even the awareness is unlikely to cause a large change in sexual preference. It's when people do experience initial attraction but change their mind based on information they become aware of afterwards that really can demonstrate explicit prejudice if that makes sense. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Having conversations about racism on fab is so exhausting because it’s got to be one of the only topics where everyone assumes themselves to be experts without any lived experiences or doing any reading. although, discussing sexual racism is not entirely pointless. I’ve no interest in friendships or sexual relationships with people that aren’t *willing* to learn about or understand my loved experience on this earth so it serves as great for filtering at least. Ok I’d better go. Stay woke "So in your opinion am I racist for saying I like to meet black guys, Can you just answer that please? X | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Having conversations about racism on fab is so exhausting because it’s got to be one of the only topics where everyone assumes themselves to be experts without any lived experiences or doing any reading. although, discussing sexual racism is not entirely pointless. I’ve no interest in friendships or sexual relationships with people that aren’t *willing* to learn about or understand my loved experience on this earth so it serves as great for filtering at least. Ok I’d better go. Stay woke So in your opinion am I racist for saying I like to meet black guys, Can you just answer that please? X"Will you also entertain white guys? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Having conversations about racism on fab is so exhausting because it’s got to be one of the only topics where everyone assumes themselves to be experts without any lived experiences or doing any reading. although, discussing sexual racism is not entirely pointless. I’ve no interest in friendships or sexual relationships with people that aren’t *willing* to learn about or understand my loved experience on this earth so it serves as great for filtering at least. Ok I’d better go. Stay woke So in your opinion am I racist for saying I like to meet black guys, Can you just answer that please? X
Will you also entertain white guys?"I am married to one x | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I get what you're saying Steve but at the same time, as much as people can examine where their preferences come from, I don't think it's in the best interests of people to engage with people who have expressed strong preferences against them at some point. I know it's not the same thing but if someone has expressed strong preferences for slim women and against larger women, even if they do examine their biases and come to the conclusion that it's rooted in fat phobia, I still wouldn't feel safe to have sex with that person and I think even the awareness is unlikely to cause a large change in sexual preference. It's when people do experience initial attraction but change their mind based on information they become aware of afterwards that really can demonstrate explicit prejudice if that makes sense. " Often not rooted in anything. We don’t like overly fat people, but nothing to do with fat phobia as an example. Now if you “feel” it must be rooted in fat phobia that’s on you, but it’s not true. Same goes for any preference really. Yes there may be underlying ill intent, but often there’s not. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Having conversations about racism on fab is so exhausting because it’s got to be one of the only topics where everyone assumes themselves to be experts without any lived experiences or doing any reading. although, discussing sexual racism is not entirely pointless. I’ve no interest in friendships or sexual relationships with people that aren’t *willing* to learn about or understand my loved experience on this earth so it serves as great for filtering at least. Ok I’d better go. Stay woke So in your opinion am I racist for saying I like to meet black guys, Can you just answer that please? X
Will you also entertain white guys? I am married to one x"Then the only answer can be no. Just for clarity I'd say no anyway but others may differ. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I get what you're saying Steve but at the same time, as much as people can examine where their preferences come from, I don't think it's in the best interests of people to engage with people who have expressed strong preferences against them at some point. I know it's not the same thing but if someone has expressed strong preferences for slim women and against larger women, even if they do examine their biases and come to the conclusion that it's rooted in fat phobia, I still wouldn't feel safe to have sex with that person and I think even the awareness is unlikely to cause a large change in sexual preference. It's when people do experience initial attraction but change their mind based on information they become aware of afterwards that really can demonstrate explicit prejudice if that makes sense. Often not rooted in anything. We don’t like overly fat people, but nothing to do with fat phobia as an example. Now if you “feel” it must be rooted in fat phobia that’s on you, but it’s not true. Same goes for any preference really. Yes there may be underlying ill intent, but often there’s not." I explicity said if the person themselves came to the conclusion that it was rooted in fat phobia. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I get what you're saying Steve but at the same time, as much as people can examine where their preferences come from, I don't think it's in the best interests of people to engage with people who have expressed strong preferences against them at some point. I know it's not the same thing but if someone has expressed strong preferences for slim women and against larger women, even if they do examine their biases and come to the conclusion that it's rooted in fat phobia, I still wouldn't feel safe to have sex with that person and I think even the awareness is unlikely to cause a large change in sexual preference. It's when people do experience initial attraction but change their mind based on information they become aware of afterwards that really can demonstrate explicit prejudice if that makes sense. Often not rooted in anything. We don’t like overly fat people, but nothing to do with fat phobia as an example. Now if you “feel” it must be rooted in fat phobia that’s on you, but it’s not true. Same goes for any preference really. Yes there may be underlying ill intent, but often there’s not." | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I get what you're saying Steve but at the same time, as much as people can examine where their preferences come from, I don't think it's in the best interests of people to engage with people who have expressed strong preferences against them at some point. I know it's not the same thing but if someone has expressed strong preferences for slim women and against larger women, even if they do examine their biases and come to the conclusion that it's rooted in fat phobia, I still wouldn't feel safe to have sex with that person and I think even the awareness is unlikely to cause a large change in sexual preference. It's when people do experience initial attraction but change their mind based on information they become aware of afterwards that really can demonstrate explicit prejudice if that makes sense. Often not rooted in anything. We don’t like overly fat people, but nothing to do with fat phobia as an example. Now if you “feel” it must be rooted in fat phobia that’s on you, but it’s not true. Same goes for any preference really. Yes there may be underlying ill intent, but often there’s not. I explicity said if the person themselves came to the conclusion that it was rooted in fat phobia. " I know you did, it wasn’t targeted at you. I was just making a point that often there is no ill intent, regardless of the preference. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So are black guys racist when they say they have a preference for white girls? X" Not for me they aren't. For others it would depend if they will only meet white girls. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So are black guys racist when they say they have a preference for white girls? X Not for me they aren't. For others it would depend if they will only meet white girls. " So if people don't meet people of their own sex, by the same argument, they are homophobic??? Xxx | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I get what you're saying Steve but at the same time, as much as people can examine where their preferences come from, I don't think it's in the best interests of people to engage with people who have expressed strong preferences against them at some point. I know it's not the same thing but if someone has expressed strong preferences for slim women and against larger women, even if they do examine their biases and come to the conclusion that it's rooted in fat phobia, I still wouldn't feel safe to have sex with that person and I think even the awareness is unlikely to cause a large change in sexual preference. It's when people do experience initial attraction but change their mind based on information they become aware of afterwards that really can demonstrate explicit prejudice if that makes sense. Often not rooted in anything. We don’t like overly fat people, but nothing to do with fat phobia as an example. Now if you “feel” it must be rooted in fat phobia that’s on you, but it’s not true. Same goes for any preference really. Yes there may be underlying ill intent, but often there’s not. I explicity said if the person themselves came to the conclusion that it was rooted in fat phobia. I know you did, it wasn’t targeted at you. I was just making a point that often there is no ill intent, regardless of the preference. " You replied to me. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So are black guys racist when they say they have a preference for white girls? X Not for me they aren't. For others it would depend if they will only meet white girls. So if people don't meet people of their own sex, by the same argument, they are homophobic??? Xxx" Again, not for me they aren't | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I get what you're saying Steve but at the same time, as much as people can examine where their preferences come from, I don't think it's in the best interests of people to engage with people who have expressed strong preferences against them at some point. I know it's not the same thing but if someone has expressed strong preferences for slim women and against larger women, even if they do examine their biases and come to the conclusion that it's rooted in fat phobia, I still wouldn't feel safe to have sex with that person and I think even the awareness is unlikely to cause a large change in sexual preference. It's when people do experience initial attraction but change their mind based on information they become aware of afterwards that really can demonstrate explicit prejudice if that makes sense. Often not rooted in anything. We don’t like overly fat people, but nothing to do with fat phobia as an example. Now if you “feel” it must be rooted in fat phobia that’s on you, but it’s not true. Same goes for any preference really. Yes there may be underlying ill intent, but often there’s not. I explicity said if the person themselves came to the conclusion that it was rooted in fat phobia. I know you did, it wasn’t targeted at you. I was just making a point that often there is no ill intent, regardless of the preference. You replied to me. " I certainly did and I’d you reread you will see the point I was making. I started with “Often not rooted in anything.” And used the fat phobia as an example. Apologies if you felt targeted. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So are black guys racist when they say they have a preference for white girls? X" It is a preference that may be a product of racism, beauty standards and other things which may contribute to antiblackness or internalised self hatred. I personally think not being attracted to your own race as not something that’s NATURAL. And so it must have come from somewhere. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Having conversations about racism on fab is so exhausting because it’s got to be one of the only topics where everyone assumes themselves to be experts without any lived experiences or doing any reading. although, discussing sexual racism is not entirely pointless. I’ve no interest in friendships or sexual relationships with people that aren’t *willing* to learn about or understand my loved experience on this earth so it serves as great for filtering at least. Ok I’d better go. Stay woke " | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Having conversations about racism on fab is so exhausting because it’s got to be one of the only topics where everyone assumes themselves to be experts without any lived experiences or doing any reading. although, discussing sexual racism is not entirely pointless. I’ve no interest in friendships or sexual relationships with people that aren’t *willing* to learn about or understand my loved experience on this earth so it serves as great for filtering at least. Ok I’d better go. Stay woke "I don’t think anyone denies the issues you are talking about. The problem I have is calling it Eurocentric. I have lived all over the world and have had girlfriends from literally every continent bar Antartica. I don’t need to be lectured about “Eurocentric” beauty. I have also seen racism in between every skin colour to every other skin colour so my lived experience tells me it is not just a “white” issue. One of the biggest experiences for me was when I moved back to the UK and had my first girlfriend from England - who happened to have Somali parents and was incredibly dark skinned. Her life was really interesting - the biggest issue for her was not the racism from white people which was actually relatively rare and very crude when it happened. The biggest issue was the incessant and low level colourism she faced. (Apologies if the term is wrong but I learnt about it in the 1990s). It was the snide and constant put downs from other black people about how dark her skin was. No doubt you will tell me how this I was a by product of colonial beauty standards, etc. You might well be right but what I saw was brutal black on black racism. I don’t doubt for a second racism exists and it impacts your life but I also know that it is a multifaceted, nuanced issue and is most certainly not just “Eurocentric”. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So are black guys racist when they say they have a preference for white girls? X Not for me they aren't. For others it would depend if they will only meet white girls. So if people don't meet people of their own sex, by the same argument, they are homophobic??? Xxx" Why are we falsely equating racial preferences with homophobia?? Let’s not undermine homophobia first of all. And let’s also not pretend that this isn’t an issue that transcends sexuality because queer people of colour experience these things too. And in fact it’s reasonably well researched. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
 | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So are black guys racist when they say they have a preference for white girls? X It is a preference that may be a product of racism, beauty standards and other things which may contribute to antiblackness or internalised self hatred. I personally think not being attracted to your own race as not something that’s NATURAL. And so it must have come from somewhere. " It’s also a preference that may not be any of that…. The keyword in BOTH arguments is *may*. Both sides need to see that so they can empathise with the other. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Having conversations about racism on fab is so exhausting because it’s got to be one of the only topics where everyone assumes themselves to be experts without any lived experiences or doing any reading. although, discussing sexual racism is not entirely pointless. I’ve no interest in friendships or sexual relationships with people that aren’t *willing* to learn about or understand my loved experience on this earth so it serves as great for filtering at least. Ok I’d better go. Stay woke
I don’t think anyone denies the issues you are talking about. The problem I have is calling it Eurocentric.
I have lived all over the world and have had girlfriends from literally every continent bar Antartica. I don’t need to be lectured about “Eurocentric” beauty.
I have also seen racism in between every skin colour to every other skin colour so my lived experience tells me it is not just a “white” issue.
One of the biggest experiences for me was when I moved back to the UK and had my first girlfriend from England - who happened to have Somali parents and was incredibly dark skinned. Her life was really interesting - the biggest issue for her was not the racism from white people which was actually relatively rare and very crude when it happened. The biggest issue was the incessant and low level colourism she faced. (Apologies if the term is wrong but I learnt about it in the 1990s). It was the snide and constant put downs from other black people about how dark her skin was. No doubt you will tell me how this I was a by product of colonial beauty standards, etc. You might well be right but what I saw was brutal black on black racism.
I don’t doubt for a second racism exists and it impacts your life but I also know that it is a multifaceted, nuanced issue and is most certainly not just “Eurocentric”."I kinda feel like you're making the exact same point as Steve but arguing over semantics. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Having conversations about racism on fab is so exhausting because it’s got to be one of the only topics where everyone assumes themselves to be experts without any lived experiences or doing any reading. although, discussing sexual racism is not entirely pointless. I’ve no interest in friendships or sexual relationships with people that aren’t *willing* to learn about or understand my loved experience on this earth so it serves as great for filtering at least. Ok I’d better go. Stay woke
I don’t think anyone denies the issues you are talking about. The problem I have is calling it Eurocentric.
I have lived all over the world and have had girlfriends from literally every continent bar Antartica. I don’t need to be lectured about “Eurocentric” beauty.
I have also seen racism in between every skin colour to every other skin colour so my lived experience tells me it is not just a “white” issue.
One of the biggest experiences for me was when I moved back to the UK and had my first girlfriend from England - who happened to have Somali parents and was incredibly dark skinned. Her life was really interesting - the biggest issue for her was not the racism from white people which was actually relatively rare and very crude when it happened. The biggest issue was the incessant and low level colourism she faced. (Apologies if the term is wrong but I learnt about it in the 1990s). It was the snide and constant put downs from other black people about how dark her skin was. No doubt you will tell me how this I was a by product of colonial beauty standards, etc. You might well be right but what I saw was brutal black on black racism.
I don’t doubt for a second racism exists and it impacts your life but I also know that it is a multifaceted, nuanced issue and is most certainly not just “Eurocentric”."Colourism is rampant in many Asian countries too. As you said, some blame it on colonialism. But the truth is it has been there long before that. In India, we had caste system for a long time. Usually, people from the "upper caste" are fairer than the people from "lower caste". It's down to the fact that people from the upper caste were doing jobs that kept them inside home while people from lower caste were doing manual labour in tropical weather. So being fairer directly implied they are from an upper class family, the consequence of which is a deep seated colourism in many people. Saying that colonialism is the cause of that is frankly speaking a bit too Eurocentric | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So are black guys racist when they say they have a preference for white girls? X It is a preference that may be a product of racism, beauty standards and other things which may contribute to antiblackness or internalised self hatred. I personally think not being attracted to your own race as not something that’s NATURAL. And so it must have come from somewhere. " You say it 'may' be a product of racism but you are not sure. What if you are not factoring the nature of the site. Swinging in what ever form falls into the realm of fantasy realisation. Here you are able to live out your sexual fantasies, so long as they are legal, free from judgement. This may mean that ordinary boring housewives, like myself, can live out sexual fantasies in a safe space. Like I said I am married to a white guy, my previous boyfriends were all white and growing up there were no black guys local to me. So Fab gives me the opportunity to fuck black guys, and now I find myself potentially a racist for giving these guys and these guys giving me a chance to live out our fantasies. It's just a preference on here, it's not in my vanilla life because there isn't a lot of black guys to choose from. This site and swinging facilitates me seeing black guys because I find some of them hot in does not allow me to spread any prejudices. Xxx | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" I don’t think anyone denies the issues you are talking about. The problem I have is calling it Eurocentric. I have lived all over the world and have had girlfriends from literally every continent bar Antartica. I don’t need to be lectured about “Eurocentric” beauty. I have also seen racism in between every skin colour to every other skin colour so my lived experience tells me it is not just a “white” issue. One of the biggest experiences for me was when I moved back to the UK and had my first girlfriend from England - who happened to have Somali parents and was incredibly dark skinned. Her life was really interesting - the biggest issue for her was not the racism from white people which was actually relatively rare and very crude when it happened. The biggest issue was the incessant and low level colourism she faced. (Apologies if the term is wrong but I learnt about it in the 1990s). It was the snide and constant put downs from other black people about how dark her skin was. No doubt you will tell me how this I was a by product of colonial beauty standards, etc. You might well be right but what I saw was brutal black on black racism. I don’t doubt for a second racism exists and it impacts your life but I also know that it is a multifaceted, nuanced issue and is most certainly not just “Eurocentric”." Eurocentric beauty standards is not a term I invented - I only use it- and it is in part referring to beauty standards that impose European standards of beauty. That’s just a reflection Europe’s colonial relationship with the rest of the world. That means for example that the white settlers in the Americas are of European ancestry etc. Racism exists between races. I agree. But what I disagree with is the suggestion or implication that racism on an individual level is the same as the structural, systematic one that exists across continents (according to researchers and academics) that is largely a result of colonial relations. On black on black racism is interesting because the concepts of race didn’t exist amongst black societies pre colonialism. And in some countries even post that- Stuart Hall writes of never using the term Black to describe himself before coming to England from Jamaica. Antiblackness exists now and is of course perpetuated by black people but to deny that it’s a product of colonialism and imperialism is a bit revisionist. I’m also not here to say that colourism doesn’t exist. It exists in my own family and had impacted me. But what I will say is that growing up in the UK, for generations it has been said that the subtle forms of racism that exist in modern Britain gaslight you into thinking that it only exists in the most obvious forms. Again there’s so much research on it and ultimately the lack of accessibility of academia and the lack of engagement with it means that these issues are largely over simplified like mostly happens on fab. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" I don’t think anyone denies the issues you are talking about. The problem I have is calling it Eurocentric. I have lived all over the world and have had girlfriends from literally every continent bar Antartica. I don’t need to be lectured about “Eurocentric” beauty. I have also seen racism in between every skin colour to every other skin colour so my lived experience tells me it is not just a “white” issue. One of the biggest experiences for me was when I moved back to the UK and had my first girlfriend from England - who happened to have Somali parents and was incredibly dark skinned. Her life was really interesting - the biggest issue for her was not the racism from white people which was actually relatively rare and very crude when it happened. The biggest issue was the incessant and low level colourism she faced. (Apologies if the term is wrong but I learnt about it in the 1990s). It was the snide and constant put downs from other black people about how dark her skin was. No doubt you will tell me how this I was a by product of colonial beauty standards, etc. You might well be right but what I saw was brutal black on black racism. I don’t doubt for a second racism exists and it impacts your life but I also know that it is a multifaceted, nuanced issue and is most certainly not just “Eurocentric”. Eurocentric beauty standards is not a term I invented - I only use it- and it is in part referring to beauty standards that impose European standards of beauty. That’s just a reflection Europe’s colonial relationship with the rest of the world. That means for example that the white settlers in the Americas are of European ancestry etc. Racism exists between races. I agree. But what I disagree with is the suggestion or implication that racism on an individual level is the same as the structural, systematic one that exists across continents (according to researchers and academics) that is largely a result of colonial relations. On black on black racism is interesting because the concepts of race didn’t exist amongst black societies pre colonialism. And in some countries even post that- Stuart Hall writes of never using the term Black to describe himself before coming to England from Jamaica. Antiblackness exists now and is of course perpetuated by black people but to deny that it’s a product of colonialism and imperialism is a bit revisionist. I’m also not here to say that colourism doesn’t exist. It exists in my own family and had impacted me. But what I will say is that growing up in the UK, for generations it has been said that the subtle forms of racism that exist in modern Britain gaslight you into thinking that it only exists in the most obvious forms. Again there’s so much research on it and ultimately the lack of accessibility of academia and the lack of engagement with it means that these issues are largely over simplified like mostly happens on fab. " Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"There are definitely similarities between preferences based on body shape and skin colour. We are fed endless images that beauty and fat rarely go together. This literally programmes our brains. But the huge difference here is that fat phobia doesn't infiltrate every part of my life. For example,I don't hadn't to carefully consider where I want to live to make sure that I wont end up in a fat phobic society. Therefore although it's not particularly nice to read on a profile that I would be considered unattractive due to my size, it doesn't touch on deep wounds like it does for some poc when they read no blacks or whatever. " I wasn't saying its the same thing, I was drawing a parallel for how even if someone changed their preferences I wouldn't feel safe having sex with them. The fact that the issue with race runs even deeper kinda just makes that point more significant for them. Even if those people did change their preferences, is it someone they would feel safe with? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" I don’t think anyone denies the issues you are talking about. The problem I have is calling it Eurocentric. I have lived all over the world and have had girlfriends from literally every continent bar Antartica. I don’t need to be lectured about “Eurocentric” beauty. I have also seen racism in between every skin colour to every other skin colour so my lived experience tells me it is not just a “white” issue. One of the biggest experiences for me was when I moved back to the UK and had my first girlfriend from England - who happened to have Somali parents and was incredibly dark skinned. Her life was really interesting - the biggest issue for her was not the racism from white people which was actually relatively rare and very crude when it happened. The biggest issue was the incessant and low level colourism she faced. (Apologies if the term is wrong but I learnt about it in the 1990s). It was the snide and constant put downs from other black people about how dark her skin was. No doubt you will tell me how this I was a by product of colonial beauty standards, etc. You might well be right but what I saw was brutal black on black racism. I don’t doubt for a second racism exists and it impacts your life but I also know that it is a multifaceted, nuanced issue and is most certainly not just “Eurocentric”. Eurocentric beauty standards is not a term I invented - I only use it- and it is in part referring to beauty standards that impose European standards of beauty. That’s just a reflection Europe’s colonial relationship with the rest of the world. That means for example that the white settlers in the Americas are of European ancestry etc. Racism exists between races. I agree. But what I disagree with is the suggestion or implication that racism on an individual level is the same as the structural, systematic one that exists across continents (according to researchers and academics) that is largely a result of colonial relations. On black on black racism is interesting because the concepts of race didn’t exist amongst black societies pre colonialism. And in some countries even post that- Stuart Hall writes of never using the term Black to describe himself before coming to England from Jamaica. Antiblackness exists now and is of course perpetuated by black people but to deny that it’s a product of colonialism and imperialism is a bit revisionist. I’m also not here to say that colourism doesn’t exist. It exists in my own family and had impacted me. But what I will say is that growing up in the UK, for generations it has been said that the subtle forms of racism that exist in modern Britain gaslight you into thinking that it only exists in the most obvious forms. Again there’s so much research on it and ultimately the lack of accessibility of academia and the lack of engagement with it means that these issues are largely over simplified like mostly happens on fab. Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? " Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"For interacting in the swinging world we prefer straight people but that doesn't make us homophobic " Fab straight lol | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist?" In answer to your question, I'd say no simply because they are stating their preference. It would only be deemed racist if they were to support the superiority of race over another, etc. It's all to do with peeps perception since for all we know that particular person who's being accused of being a racist for all we know, could be living a harmonic life with all others full of admiration & respect. They simply choose to be with their own kind due to reasons of their own, could be language barrier, religious beliefs, etc. There's no need for analysing & then jumping to wrong conclusion based on an assumption. We're all human beings at the end of the day breathing the same air we rely on to live. Why can we simply not all get along with each other, no matter what the label is... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"For interacting in the swinging world we prefer straight people but that doesn't make us homophobic Fab straight lol" Sorry forgot also the personal choice as above... Honestly! Lol | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. " Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? " They are down to preferences. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? " Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? They are down to preferences." So a yes for you. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. " That question isn’t complex at all. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. " To you. . I stand by what I said.
If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. To you. . I stand by what I said.
If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. "More than happy to engage, just not on your terms. You’ve a habit of dodging fair rebuttals. You either think everyone that has a preference is a racist, or you think some aren’t. It’s really not a difficult question and is very pertinent to the discussion. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. To you. . I stand by what I said.
If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. "You can’t just close people down like that. I think the question is a valid one. The reality is that if you don’t think that there are occasions when you can just not fancy someone of a different colour then the only alternative is that you do think racism comes into every decision. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. To you. . I stand by what I said.
If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo.
More than happy to engage, just not on your terms. You’ve a habit of dodging fair rebuttals.
You either think everyone that has a preference is a racist, or you think some aren’t. It’s really not a difficult question and is very pertinent to the discussion."I answered your question. Don’t insult me by pretending I didn’t because it wasn’t to your liking. Read the answer. It’s really really clear. Your engagement on racism, imo, is disingenuous. But only my opinion.  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. To you. . I stand by what I said.
If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo.
You can’t just close people down like that. I think the question is a valid one. The reality is that if you don’t think that there are occasions when you can just not fancy someone of a different colour then the only alternative is that you do think racism comes into every decision. "That's what happens round here. You should know that. Or maybe you're exempt because you've got a big dick  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. To you. . I stand by what I said.
If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo.
You can’t just close people down like that. I think the question is a valid one. The reality is that if you don’t think that there are occasions when you can just not fancy someone of a different colour then the only alternative is that you do think racism comes into every decision. "Thanks you, but I do get sort of get it. It’s a massively emotive subject and people have no doubt had some fucking awful experiences. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. To you. . I stand by what I said.
If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo.
You can’t just close people down like that. I think the question is a valid one. The reality is that if you don’t think that there are occasions when you can just not fancy someone of a different colour then the only alternative is that you do think racism comes into every decision. "Come on man, I answered the question. Are we really all just not going to read today?  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. " If someone asked you "Do you believe the Nazi party did anything good?" would you not want to provide some context with your yes? I think I would want to specify I meant roads, jobs and stabilising the economy over yano, the rest... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. To you. . I stand by what I said.
If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo.
More than happy to engage, just not on your terms. You’ve a habit of dodging fair rebuttals.
You either think everyone that has a preference is a racist, or you think some aren’t. It’s really not a difficult question and is very pertinent to the discussion.
I answered your question. Don’t insult me by pretending I didn’t because it wasn’t to your liking. Read the answer. It’s really really clear.
Your engagement on racism, imo, is disingenuous. But only my opinion. "You didn’t answer it, or at least it wasn’t clear. I’ll ask again, yes, or no please? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. If someone asked you "Do you believe the Nazi party did anything good?" would you not want to provide some context with your yes? I think I would want to specify I meant roads, jobs and stabilising the economy over yano, the rest... "Now there’s a false equivalency, but if someone straight up asked, I’d happily answer if I’d done my research. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. To you. . I stand by what I said.
If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo.
More than happy to engage, just not on your terms. You’ve a habit of dodging fair rebuttals.
You either think everyone that has a preference is a racist, or you think some aren’t. It’s really not a difficult question and is very pertinent to the discussion.
I answered your question. Don’t insult me by pretending I didn’t because it wasn’t to your liking. Read the answer. It’s really really clear.
Your engagement on racism, imo, is disingenuous. But only my opinion.
You didn’t answer it, or at least it wasn’t clear. I’ll ask again, yes, or no please?"I said ‘Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be though I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that.’ Which is a perfectly clear answer on where I stand. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. To you. . I stand by what I said.
If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. "You come across like you will only interact with others according to your own personal rules. One might say that these 'preferences" exclude other groups from engaging with you how they would like. Think that's a bit rich but like everyone you are free to express your preferences. I like mine, I do love white guys but on here I have a preference, soft spot, for black guys and I am not a racist ask any of the black guys I have met and see if they would call me a racist x | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. To you. . I stand by what I said.
If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo.
More than happy to engage, just not on your terms. You’ve a habit of dodging fair rebuttals.
You either think everyone that has a preference is a racist, or you think some aren’t. It’s really not a difficult question and is very pertinent to the discussion.
I answered your question. Don’t insult me by pretending I didn’t because it wasn’t to your liking. Read the answer. It’s really really clear.
Your engagement on racism, imo, is disingenuous. But only my opinion.
You didn’t answer it, or at least it wasn’t clear. I’ll ask again, yes, or no please?
I said ‘Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be though I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that.’
Which is a perfectly clear answer on where I stand. "You said yes, then 'could be though'. That's wishy washy at best | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. To you. . I stand by what I said.
If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo.
More than happy to engage, just not on your terms. You’ve a habit of dodging fair rebuttals.
You either think everyone that has a preference is a racist, or you think some aren’t. It’s really not a difficult question and is very pertinent to the discussion.
I answered your question. Don’t insult me by pretending I didn’t because it wasn’t to your liking. Read the answer. It’s really really clear.
Your engagement on racism, imo, is disingenuous. But only my opinion.
You didn’t answer it, or at least it wasn’t clear. I’ll ask again, yes, or no please?
I said ‘Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be though I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that.’
Which is a perfectly clear answer on where I stand. "It’s really not clear, not to me anyway, so if you wouldn’t mind simplifying to a simple yes, or no first that would be awesome. Feel free to explain your point after the yes, or no obviously. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. If someone asked you "Do you believe the Nazi party did anything good?" would you not want to provide some context with your yes? I think I would want to specify I meant roads, jobs and stabilising the economy over yano, the rest...
Now there’s a false equivalency, but if someone straight up asked, I’d happily answer if I’d done my research."I'm not drawing any equivalency. It's an example of a question you might not want to just provide a yes or no answer to because sometimes the context is incredibly important. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" I said ‘Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be though I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that.’ Which is a perfectly clear answer on where I stand. You said yes, then 'could be though'. That's wishy washy at best" Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another **I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist.** The bits in ** also confused me. Hence asking him just to clear up his answer. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. If someone asked you "Do you believe the Nazi party did anything good?" would you not want to provide some context with your yes? I think I would want to specify I meant roads, jobs and stabilising the economy over yano, the rest...
Now there’s a false equivalency, but if someone straight up asked, I’d happily answer if I’d done my research.
I'm not drawing any equivalency. It's an example of a question you might not want to just provide a yes or no answer to because sometimes the context is incredibly important. "Fair enough, then to answer if I think Nazis did anything good? Yes See, not difficult. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. To you. . I stand by what I said.
If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo.
More than happy to engage, just not on your terms. You’ve a habit of dodging fair rebuttals.
You either think everyone that has a preference is a racist, or you think some aren’t. It’s really not a difficult question and is very pertinent to the discussion.
I answered your question. Don’t insult me by pretending I didn’t because it wasn’t to your liking. Read the answer. It’s really really clear.
Your engagement on racism, imo, is disingenuous. But only my opinion.
You didn’t answer it, or at least it wasn’t clear. I’ll ask again, yes, or no please?
I said ‘Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be though I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that.’
Which is a perfectly clear answer on where I stand.
You said yes, then 'could be though'. That's wishy washy at best"If you read it it’s not wishful washy. It’s a clear answer that acknowledges that the issue is complex (to me it is). | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" I said ‘Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be though I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that.’ Which is a perfectly clear answer on where I stand. You said yes, then 'could be though'. That's wishy washy at best Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another **I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist.** The bits in ** also confused me. Hence asking him just to clear up his answer." Tbf, I missed that but yeah  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. To you. . I stand by what I said.
If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo.
More than happy to engage, just not on your terms. You’ve a habit of dodging fair rebuttals.
You either think everyone that has a preference is a racist, or you think some aren’t. It’s really not a difficult question and is very pertinent to the discussion.
I answered your question. Don’t insult me by pretending I didn’t because it wasn’t to your liking. Read the answer. It’s really really clear.
Your engagement on racism, imo, is disingenuous. But only my opinion.
You didn’t answer it, or at least it wasn’t clear. I’ll ask again, yes, or no please?
I said ‘Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be though I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that.’
Which is a perfectly clear answer on where I stand.
You said yes, then 'could be though'. That's wishy washy at best
If you read it it’s not wishful washy. It’s a clear answer that acknowledges that the issue is complex (to me it is). "Perhaps it’s me just being stupid then (more than possible). Can you please just give a yes, or no and then explain why once answered? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. To you. . I stand by what I said.
If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo.
More than happy to engage, just not on your terms. You’ve a habit of dodging fair rebuttals.
You either think everyone that has a preference is a racist, or you think some aren’t. It’s really not a difficult question and is very pertinent to the discussion.
I answered your question. Don’t insult me by pretending I didn’t because it wasn’t to your liking. Read the answer. It’s really really clear.
Your engagement on racism, imo, is disingenuous. But only my opinion.
You didn’t answer it, or at least it wasn’t clear. I’ll ask again, yes, or no please?
I said ‘Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be though I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that.’
Which is a perfectly clear answer on where I stand.
You said yes, then 'could be though'. That's wishy washy at best
If you read it it’s not wishful washy. It’s a clear answer that acknowledges that the issue is complex (to me it is). "I've read it, you answer YES and then go on to contradict that yes. It's wishy washy at best | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"We received abuse and got called racist because we turned down a man we had no attraction to" Those Eurocentric beauty standards of yours got you told off by him didn’t they | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"It's personal preference in my book, there may be something else behind it but without knowing what that may be the preference should be respected. Much the same as receiving a polite reply saying that you are not someones type, that is their prerogative and I'm not going to waste time changing their mind." eloquently put | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" I said ‘Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be though I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that.’ Which is a perfectly clear answer on where I stand. You said yes, then 'could be though'. That's wishy washy at best Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another **I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist.** The bits in ** also confused me. Hence asking him just to clear up his answer. Tbf, I missed that but yeah "You man are jokes. You got an answer. If you’re not happy with it that’s your personal problem. But I’ve read and researched racism. I’m comfortable engaging with it when it’s genuine and I am happy to learn more- always. None of you have suggested you’re genuinely engaging with me in this thread so I don’t see what the point of you coming at me is? If not for your own validation (_nkycpl’s question imo) or for fun? Lol | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"It's personal preference in my book, there may be something else behind it but without knowing what that may be the preference should be respected. Much the same as receiving a polite reply saying that you are not someones type, that is their prerogative and I'm not going to waste time changing their mind. eloquently put "Agreed. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist? Yes. Not gonna debate that cause forums. However I'd encourage people who have such "preferences" to read into eurocentric beauty standards and prevailing culture beauty standards to explore why such preferences might be informed by and perpetuate racist structures and systems. " Sounds like an A level Sociology question. Lol | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" I said ‘Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be though I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that.’ Which is a perfectly clear answer on where I stand. You said yes, then 'could be though'. That's wishy washy at best Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another **I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist.** The bits in ** also confused me. Hence asking him just to clear up his answer. Tbf, I missed that but yeah
You man are jokes. You got an answer. If you’re not happy with it that’s your personal problem. But I’ve read and researched racism. I’m comfortable engaging with it when it’s genuine and I am happy to learn more- always. None of you have suggested you’re genuinely engaging with me in this thread so I don’t see what the point of you coming at me is? If not for your own validation (_nkycpl’s question imo) or for fun? Lol "I’m only “coming at you” because you won’t answer a basic question that’s very pertinent to the discussion. You said I’m being disingenuous, insulting, doing for my own validation etc etc. I haven’t resorted to doing the same to you. I’m most definitely entering the debate on good faith. Please stop dodging a simple question and deflecting. Multiple people have pointed out now it wasn’t clear, that’s all we’d like cleared up please. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. To you. . I stand by what I said.
If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo.
More than happy to engage, just not on your terms. You’ve a habit of dodging fair rebuttals.
You either think everyone that has a preference is a racist, or you think some aren’t. It’s really not a difficult question and is very pertinent to the discussion.
I answered your question. Don’t insult me by pretending I didn’t because it wasn’t to your liking. Read the answer. It’s really really clear.
Your engagement on racism, imo, is disingenuous. But only my opinion.
You didn’t answer it, or at least it wasn’t clear. I’ll ask again, yes, or no please?
I said ‘Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be though I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that.’
Which is a perfectly clear answer on where I stand.
You said yes, then 'could be though'. That's wishy washy at best
If you read it it’s not wishful washy. It’s a clear answer that acknowledges that the issue is complex (to me it is).
I've read it, you answer YES and then go on to contradict that yes.
It's wishy washy at best"I go on to clarify that the context of the individual remains important. I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. Ultimately, as I said, you’re oversimplifying something that’s not simple. Perhaps you don’t have the range? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So are black guys racist when they say they have a preference for white girls? X Not for me they aren't. For others it would depend if they will only meet white girls. So if people don't meet people of their own sex, by the same argument, they are homophobic??? Xxx Again, not for me they aren't " This, it is just a preference | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be tough I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that. Why can’t you give a straight yes, or no answer? Because discussing racism is complex and deserves proper discussion. I’m sick of people watering it down to yes and no without engaging in the conversations that will help us overcome it. It’s lazy and comes across as disingenuous point scoring. Racism is real life. If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo. That question isn’t complex at all. To you. . I stand by what I said.
If you don’t want to engage fully in it then just don’t engage at all imo.
More than happy to engage, just not on your terms. You’ve a habit of dodging fair rebuttals.
You either think everyone that has a preference is a racist, or you think some aren’t. It’s really not a difficult question and is very pertinent to the discussion.
I answered your question. Don’t insult me by pretending I didn’t because it wasn’t to your liking. Read the answer. It’s really really clear.
Your engagement on racism, imo, is disingenuous. But only my opinion.
You didn’t answer it, or at least it wasn’t clear. I’ll ask again, yes, or no please?
I said ‘Yes when you’re not finding a whole race unattractive and simply prefer one over another I’m sure that’s not necessarily racist. Could be though I don’t know. I do think that finding a whole non white race unattractive is a result of certain standards of beauty though and I maintain that.’
Which is a perfectly clear answer on where I stand.
You said yes, then 'could be though'. That's wishy washy at best
If you read it it’s not wishful washy. It’s a clear answer that acknowledges that the issue is complex (to me it is).
I've read it, you answer YES and then go on to contradict that yes.
It's wishy washy at best
I go on to clarify that the context of the individual remains important. I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism.
Ultimately, as I said, you’re oversimplifying something that’s not simple. Perhaps you don’t have the range?"Perhaps I don't have the range? Perhaps you could get through just one debate without insulting someone? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So are black guys racist when they say they have a preference for white girls? X Not for me they aren't. For others it would depend if they will only meet white girls. So if people don't meet people of their own sex, by the same argument, they are homophobic??? Xxx As the meerkat says... Simples Again, not for me they aren't This, it is just a preference " | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist?" Absolutely not. Your choice, your preferences. Nobody should judge. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"We received abuse and got called racist because we turned down a man we had no attraction to Those Eurocentric beauty standards of yours got you told off by him didn’t they "Nope, he was out of our age range and started the conversation with a dick pic | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"It's only me but how about let people decide who and when and how the might like to enjoy their time!" Perfect xxx | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? I go on to clarify that the context of the individual remains important. I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. Ultimately, as I said, you’re oversimplifying something that’s not simple. Perhaps you don’t have the range?" "I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. " It’s statements like this that are confusing. You’re either sure, or you aren’t. "Perhaps you don’t have the range?" No need for this. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" You said yes, then 'could be though'. That's wishy washy at best If you read it it’s not wishful washy. It’s a clear answer that acknowledges that the issue is complex (to me it is). I've read it, you answer YES and then go on to contradict that yes. It's wishy washy at best I go on to clarify that the context of the individual remains important. I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. Ultimately, as I said, you’re oversimplifying something that’s not simple. Perhaps you don’t have the range? Perhaps I don't have the range? Perhaps you could get through just one debate without insulting someone?" My intent was not to offend. And I apologise if it read rudely. It was more to say like if you don’t feel like you have the understanding which is why we’re having a conversation which is consistently oversimplified? Even after I’ve tried to explain that it’s not something I feel you can just simplify? And to me I didn’t feel or mean that rudely, plenty of conversations on here I don’t have the range for, trans debates for example. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"It’s a preference but I guess those preferences stem from our lived lives and everyday prejudice that exists everywhere. It’s deep rooted and to pretend otherwise is naïve. I grew up with a racist mother, when you hear those views as a child you have to make a choice as an adult to follow what you’ve been bought up believing or find your own path. It can be difficult for some and if we don’t acknowledge that our thoughts can be racist we don’t have capacity for change. I hate the BBC worship. I meet someone I like and want to fuck them regardless of their colour. I don’t worship someone because they are black. (And I no longer speak to my mother )" I can see where you’re coming from, but at times it’s nothing to do with racism. Again I’ll stress the AT TIMES.
There are lots of racists bellends out there, there are lots who maybe don’t recognise their preference is rooted in racism, and there are those of us who have differing reasons that are nothing to do with racism. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? I go on to clarify that the context of the individual remains important. I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. Ultimately, as I said, you’re oversimplifying something that’s not simple. Perhaps you don’t have the range? I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. It’s statements like this that are confusing. You’re either sure, or you aren’t. Perhaps you don’t have the range? No need for this. " Ok for example a Black person finds white people more attractive than another race or East Asians MORE attractive than another race but still finds all other races attractive, there’s elements of that that are likely impacted by racism. Right? But say their preferences are actually preferring Black people and undermining the imperialist western beauty standards, perhaps that’s not impacted by racism. It’s hard to just say yes or no. That’s what I’ve tried to stress. I do not think it’s useful to simplify this discussion. It literally is not helpful to understanding. And that’s what has made me feel like you’re doing so to be disingenuous. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? I go on to clarify that the context of the individual remains important. I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. Ultimately, as I said, you’re oversimplifying something that’s not simple. Perhaps you don’t have the range? I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. It’s statements like this that are confusing. You’re either sure, or you aren’t. Perhaps you don’t have the range? No need for this. Ok for example a Black person finds white people more attractive than another race or East Asians MORE attractive than another race but still finds all other races attractive, there’s elements of that that are likely impacted by racism. Right? But say their preferences are actually preferring Black people and undermining the imperialist western beauty standards, perhaps that’s not impacted by racism. It’s hard to just say yes or no. That’s what I’ve tried to stress. I do not think it’s useful to simplify this discussion. It literally is not helpful to understanding. And that’s what has made me feel like you’re doing so to be disingenuous. " I then said, I think- cba to check rn so correct if I’m wrong- that I think not finding a whole race of people attractive is likely rooted in racism. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" You said yes, then 'could be though'. That's wishy washy at best If you read it it’s not wishful washy. It’s a clear answer that acknowledges that the issue is complex (to me it is). I've read it, you answer YES and then go on to contradict that yes. It's wishy washy at best I go on to clarify that the context of the individual remains important. I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. Ultimately, as I said, you’re oversimplifying something that’s not simple. Perhaps you don’t have the range? Perhaps I don't have the range? Perhaps you could get through just one debate without insulting someone? My intent was not to offend. And I apologise if it read rudely. It was more to say like if you don’t feel like you have the understanding which is why we’re having a conversation which is consistently oversimplified? Even after I’ve tried to explain that it’s not something I feel you can just simplify? And to me I didn’t feel or mean that rudely, plenty of conversations on here I don’t have the range for, trans debates for example. " If I don't feel like I have the understanding? Are you purposely trying to be offend whilst telling me you have no intention of being rude? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? I go on to clarify that the context of the individual remains important. I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. Ultimately, as I said, you’re oversimplifying something that’s not simple. Perhaps you don’t have the range? I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. It’s statements like this that are confusing. You’re either sure, or you aren’t. Perhaps you don’t have the range? No need for this. Ok for example a Black person finds white people more attractive than another race or East Asians MORE attractive than another race but still finds all other races attractive, there’s elements of that that are likely impacted by racism. Right? But say their preferences are actually preferring Black people and undermining the imperialist western beauty standards, perhaps that’s not impacted by racism. It’s hard to just say yes or no. That’s what I’ve tried to stress. I do not think it’s useful to simplify this discussion. It literally is not helpful to understanding. And that’s what has made me feel like you’re doing so to be disingenuous. " I get your point, but you’re failing to see mine. Most definitely here for a genuine discourse. You keep using words such as “likely” & “perhaps” which is why it’s not clear. I actually think your answer to "Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism?" is no given the things you’ve said. If that’s correct then we actually agree. I’m not for one second saying all people are like that, and I’ve stated my thoughts on racism a few times. I guess, like you, I’m particularly invested in this topic due to past bad experiences. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I had a quick search on the forums for other threads about racism. How unsurprised I was when I found out that the vast majority of them are started by single guys with very few, or no verifications of meets, and just once by a woman in a non-sexual scenario and none at all where a woman of colour is complaining about not getting meets. How odd. Bess x " One thing I’ve realised since joining is that it’s often started with bad intentions but that doesn’t mean the conversations have to be as unproductive as they always are. Pretty depressing stuff but an important reminder of outside of our echo chambers, we’re not anywhere near as close to stopping racism as some of us think. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? I go on to clarify that the context of the individual remains important. I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. Ultimately, as I said, you’re oversimplifying something that’s not simple. Perhaps you don’t have the range? I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. It’s statements like this that are confusing. You’re either sure, or you aren’t. Perhaps you don’t have the range? No need for this. Ok for example a Black person finds white people more attractive than another race or East Asians MORE attractive than another race but still finds all other races attractive, there’s elements of that that are likely impacted by racism. Right? But say their preferences are actually preferring Black people and undermining the imperialist western beauty standards, perhaps that’s not impacted by racism. It’s hard to just say yes or no. That’s what I’ve tried to stress. I do not think it’s useful to simplify this discussion. It literally is not helpful to understanding. And that’s what has made me feel like you’re doing so to be disingenuous. I then said, I think- cba to check rn so correct if I’m wrong- that I think not finding a whole race of people attractive is likely rooted in racism. " It’s the “likely” word again. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" You said yes, then 'could be though'. That's wishy washy at best If you read it it’s not wishful washy. It’s a clear answer that acknowledges that the issue is complex (to me it is). I've read it, you answer YES and then go on to contradict that yes. It's wishy washy at best I go on to clarify that the context of the individual remains important. I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. Ultimately, as I said, you’re oversimplifying something that’s not simple. Perhaps you don’t have the range? Perhaps I don't have the range? Perhaps you could get through just one debate without insulting someone? My intent was not to offend. And I apologise if it read rudely. It was more to say like if you don’t feel like you have the understanding which is why we’re having a conversation which is consistently oversimplified? Even after I’ve tried to explain that it’s not something I feel you can just simplify? And to me I didn’t feel or mean that rudely, plenty of conversations on here I don’t have the range for, trans debates for example. If I don't feel like I have the understanding? Are you purposely trying to be offend whilst telling me you have no intention of being rude?" Well if I’m offending then let’s end the interaction. Actually not interacting with you on a thread about racism would make me happier. And I’m sure you happier too. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Well I ONLY have sex with humans! and I categorically will not have sex with aliens! ohhh and they must have a pulse! and I never shag on the 8th day of the week. everything else is fair game to me." Them standards are waaaaay too strict!
What about Seven of Nine? Absolute fitty! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" You said yes, then 'could be though'. That's wishy washy at best If you read it it’s not wishful washy. It’s a clear answer that acknowledges that the issue is complex (to me it is). I've read it, you answer YES and then go on to contradict that yes. It's wishy washy at best I go on to clarify that the context of the individual remains important. I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. Ultimately, as I said, you’re oversimplifying something that’s not simple. Perhaps you don’t have the range? Perhaps I don't have the range? Perhaps you could get through just one debate without insulting someone? My intent was not to offend. And I apologise if it read rudely. It was more to say like if you don’t feel like you have the understanding which is why we’re having a conversation which is consistently oversimplified? Even after I’ve tried to explain that it’s not something I feel you can just simplify? And to me I didn’t feel or mean that rudely, plenty of conversations on here I don’t have the range for, trans debates for example. If I don't feel like I have the understanding? Are you purposely trying to be offend whilst telling me you have no intention of being rude? Well if I’m offending then let’s end the interaction. Actually not interacting with you on a thread about racism would make me happier. And I’m sure you happier too. "I hope you're not telling me how I'd feel... I'm more than happy to interact, I just don't like it when people start throwing around insults because they feel superior on any particular subject  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'm more than happy to interact, I just don't like it when people start throwing around insults because they feel superior on any particular subject "More of this please everyone. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? I go on to clarify that the context of the individual remains important. I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. Ultimately, as I said, you’re oversimplifying something that’s not simple. Perhaps you don’t have the range? I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. It’s statements like this that are confusing. You’re either sure, or you aren’t. Perhaps you don’t have the range? No need for this. Ok for example a Black person finds white people more attractive than another race or East Asians MORE attractive than another race but still finds all other races attractive, there’s elements of that that are likely impacted by racism. Right? But say their preferences are actually preferring Black people and undermining the imperialist western beauty standards, perhaps that’s not impacted by racism. It’s hard to just say yes or no. That’s what I’ve tried to stress. I do not think it’s useful to simplify this discussion. It literally is not helpful to understanding. And that’s what has made me feel like you’re doing so to be disingenuous. I then said, I think- cba to check rn so correct if I’m wrong- that I think not finding a whole race of people attractive is likely rooted in racism. It’s the “likely” word again. " Not gonna quite both your replies. But yes ultimately I think it’s important to use language like that about racism. I sometimes don’t though that’s habit not intentional. The worst thing about racism is that sometimes in so many of its forms, it’s difficult to prove but also it is obviously different for different individuals. The sociologist might say that a group of people that all find people of X race unattractive to them are likely racist because of course perhaps there’s one or two are in that bracket because of a trauma that informs their decision or because of something else. It’s not right to only talk in absolutes. I’m guilty of it at times but when being reflective I try and step out of that. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? I go on to clarify that the context of the individual remains important. I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. Ultimately, as I said, you’re oversimplifying something that’s not simple. Perhaps you don’t have the range? I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. It’s statements like this that are confusing. You’re either sure, or you aren’t. Perhaps you don’t have the range? No need for this. Ok for example a Black person finds white people more attractive than another race or East Asians MORE attractive than another race but still finds all other races attractive, there’s elements of that that are likely impacted by racism. Right? But say their preferences are actually preferring Black people and undermining the imperialist western beauty standards, perhaps that’s not impacted by racism. It’s hard to just say yes or no. That’s what I’ve tried to stress. I do not think it’s useful to simplify this discussion. It literally is not helpful to understanding. And that’s what has made me feel like you’re doing so to be disingenuous. I then said, I think- cba to check rn so correct if I’m wrong- that I think not finding a whole race of people attractive is likely rooted in racism. It’s the “likely” word again. Not gonna quite both your replies. But yes ultimately I think it’s important to use language like that about racism. I sometimes don’t though that’s habit not intentional. The worst thing about racism is that sometimes in so many of its forms, it’s difficult to prove but also it is obviously different for different individuals. The sociologist might say that a group of people that all find people of X race unattractive to them are likely racist because of course perhaps there’s one or two are in that bracket because of a trauma that informs their decision or because of something else. It’s not right to only talk in absolutes. I’m guilty of it at times but when being reflective I try and step out of that. " So again refusing to answer. Fair enough I guess, but I will keep asking when the topic crops up. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist?" I think it’s unhelpful and race baiting to even start such a conversation. Since when has it been racist to find a certain person attractive no matter what their colour? I personally have no colour preference but many do, it’s their business and no one else’s and they don’t have to defend or explain…… | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" You said yes, then 'could be though'. That's wishy washy at best If you read it it’s not wishful washy. It’s a clear answer that acknowledges that the issue is complex (to me it is). I've read it, you answer YES and then go on to contradict that yes. It's wishy washy at best I go on to clarify that the context of the individual remains important. I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. Ultimately, as I said, you’re oversimplifying something that’s not simple. Perhaps you don’t have the range? Perhaps I don't have the range? Perhaps you could get through just one debate without insulting someone? My intent was not to offend. And I apologise if it read rudely. It was more to say like if you don’t feel like you have the understanding which is why we’re having a conversation which is consistently oversimplified? Even after I’ve tried to explain that it’s not something I feel you can just simplify? And to me I didn’t feel or mean that rudely, plenty of conversations on here I don’t have the range for, trans debates for example. If I don't feel like I have the understanding? Are you purposely trying to be offend whilst telling me you have no intention of being rude? Well if I’m offending then let’s end the interaction. Actually not interacting with you on a thread about racism would make me happier. And I’m sure you happier too.
I hope you're not telling me how I'd feel...
I'm more than happy to interact, I just don't like it when people start throwing around insults because they feel superior on any particular subject "Again my intent was not to offend and I apologised for that. I don’t feel superior on this topic I feel well read on it yes. I feel like I’ve read and studied and researched it enough to have this conversation (on these forums) confidently. But I don’t feel superior. I do feel exhausted by people going at me consistently to pick apart something I’ve said which is actually pretty clear and actually done seemingly disingenuously. I especially feel exhausted when the conversations around race are being oversimplified because as I’ve said countless times in this thread, that’s not helpful to discussion on race. It is a complex thing that deserves thought and consideration. Rejecting my attempt at doing so as not engaging in discussion is tiring. I’m actually pretty willing to engage in discussion today. But not willing to have a conversation that’s going to deliberately upset someone. So if I am doing that- as I said- there’s no need for us to engage further. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Just had a bit of a debate and I'm just curious to hear everyone's pov. If someone states they're only wanting a man/woman/couple purely based on their race, are they racist? I think it’s unhelpful and race baiting to even start such a conversation. Since when has it been racist to find a certain person attractive no matter what their colour? I personally have no colour preference but many do, it’s their business and no one else’s and they don’t have to defend or explain……" This xxx | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Quick yes, or no answer please. Do you believe, at times, preferences are just preferences, and not inherently down to any racism? I go on to clarify that the context of the individual remains important. I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. Ultimately, as I said, you’re oversimplifying something that’s not simple. Perhaps you don’t have the range? I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. It’s statements like this that are confusing. You’re either sure, or you aren’t. Perhaps you don’t have the range? No need for this. Ok for example a Black person finds white people more attractive than another race or East Asians MORE attractive than another race but still finds all other races attractive, there’s elements of that that are likely impacted by racism. Right? But say their preferences are actually preferring Black people and undermining the imperialist western beauty standards, perhaps that’s not impacted by racism. It’s hard to just say yes or no. That’s what I’ve tried to stress. I do not think it’s useful to simplify this discussion. It literally is not helpful to understanding. And that’s what has made me feel like you’re doing so to be disingenuous. I then said, I think- cba to check rn so correct if I’m wrong- that I think not finding a whole race of people attractive is likely rooted in racism. It’s the “likely” word again. Not gonna quite both your replies. But yes ultimately I think it’s important to use language like that about racism. I sometimes don’t though that’s habit not intentional. The worst thing about racism is that sometimes in so many of its forms, it’s difficult to prove but also it is obviously different for different individuals. The sociologist might say that a group of people that all find people of X race unattractive to them are likely racist because of course perhaps there’s one or two are in that bracket because of a trauma that informs their decision or because of something else. It’s not right to only talk in absolutes. I’m guilty of it at times but when being reflective I try and step out of that. So again refusing to answer. Fair enough I guess, but I will keep asking when the topic crops up. "
I just-
Looooooool. Ok man. You do you. I’ll do me. There’s really no need for us to engage on any conversations to do with race. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" You said yes, then 'could be though'. That's wishy washy at best If you read it it’s not wishful washy. It’s a clear answer that acknowledges that the issue is complex (to me it is). I've read it, you answer YES and then go on to contradict that yes. It's wishy washy at best I go on to clarify that the context of the individual remains important. I’m sure it’s not racist but it could still be rooted in racism. Ultimately, as I said, you’re oversimplifying something that’s not simple. Perhaps you don’t have the range? Perhaps I don't have the range? Perhaps you could get through just one debate without insulting someone? My intent was not to offend. And I apologise if it read rudely. It was more to say like if you don’t feel like you have the understanding which is why we’re having a conversation which is consistently oversimplified? Even after I’ve tried to explain that it’s not something I feel you can just simplify? And to me I didn’t feel or mean that rudely, plenty of conversations on here I don’t have the range for, trans debates for example. If I don't feel like I have the understanding? Are you purposely trying to be offend whilst telling me you have no intention of being rude? Well if I’m offending then let’s end the interaction. Actually not interacting with you on a thread about racism would make me happier. And I’m sure you happier too.
I hope you're not telling me how I'd feel...
I'm more than happy to interact, I just don't like it when people start throwing around insults because they feel superior on any particular subject
Again my intent was not to offend and I apologised for that.
I don’t feel superior on this topic I feel well read on it yes. I feel like I’ve read and studied and researched it enough to have this conversation (on these forums) confidently. But I don’t feel superior. I do feel exhausted by people going at me consistently to pick apart something I’ve said which is actually pretty clear and actually done seemingly disingenuously. I especially feel exhausted when the conversations around race are being oversimplified because as I’ve said countless times in this thread, that’s not helpful to discussion on race. It is a complex thing that deserves thought and consideration. Rejecting my attempt at doing so as not engaging in discussion is tiring. I’m actually pretty willing to engage in discussion today. But not willing to have a conversation that’s going to deliberately upset someone. So if I am doing that- as I said- there’s no need for us to engage further. "Here's the thing, within your 'apology' you went on to further insult, that's no apology at all. Yesterday, I told you on the very same subject that 'you have no idea of anyone else's personal struggles' when you attempted to 'make fun' of my 'white privelege', that says to me that you definitely do feel superior on this subject, because I can't possibly understand racism as much as yourself. If you feel like there's nothing further to engage then feel free to ignore me, I'm not the boss round here, I don't own you and I definitely will not demand any sort of reply. Good day Sir. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
