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Sexless Marriage
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"But devoid of fun, desire?
Is that 'love'?
Or is that a partnership
Marriage is a partnership at its core. You have to build on that "
...me durrrr
Appreciate, marriage is a partnership but no sex? Kinda living your life on the river bank, whilst everyone floats down the river |
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By *abrina59TV/TS
over a year ago
moved to cuckold land |
me & my wife had a very sexual relationship when met first married.
however after kids she had put on weight which she always found difficult to shift & it def affected her self confidence so badly.
We did have a period of years where we did have a sexless marriage due to this no matter how often i told her she was sexy, she just never ever felt it.
After kids have left home we did start having sex again but nothing more than once a week at most.
However during lockdown we started roleplaying when stuck at home of me being a boyfriend that she mett behind me (her husbands back).
she would start dressing up sexily for these "meets" & as we continued the roleplay fun she strated to become a different sexual woman once again.
Having lost some weight def helped her self confidence & she started doing things for the "BF" shae had previously said to me she wouldnt do whenever I asked.
fast forward to friday past & night out in Glasgow staying over she wearing a dress, with Open crotch tights underneath (No Knickers ) & there I was fingering her bare pussy in a crowded bar (a first for her & us).
I have always Loved her throughout & yes the period as a sexless Marriage is so frustrating,however watching my wife regain lots of her sexy self confidence has been amazing to watch.
Im actually more happy for her than myself.
So id say find out as best you can the reason behind the change to a sexless marriage & I agree not all can be fixed but it def is worth trying & the effort
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"me & my wife had a very sexual relationship when met first married.
however after kids she had put on weight which she always found difficult to shift & it def affected her self confidence so badly.
We did have a period of years where we did have a sexless marriage due to this no matter how often i told her she was sexy, she just never ever felt it.
After kids have left home we did start having sex again but nothing more than once a week at most.
However during lockdown we started roleplaying when stuck at home of me being a boyfriend that she mett behind me (her husbands back).
she would start dressing up sexily for these "meets" & as we continued the roleplay fun she strated to become a different sexual woman once again.
Having lost some weight def helped her self confidence & she started doing things for the "BF" shae had previously said to me she wouldnt do whenever I asked.
fast forward to friday past & night out in Glasgow staying over she wearing a dress, with Open crotch tights underneath (No Knickers ) & there I was fingering her bare pussy in a crowded bar (a first for her & us).
I have always Loved her throughout & yes the period as a sexless Marriage is so frustrating,however watching my wife regain lots of her sexy self confidence has been amazing to watch.
Im actually more happy for her than myself.
So id say find out as best you can the reason behind the change to a sexless marriage & I agree not all can be fixed but it def is worth trying & the effort
"
Amazing mate! Love it, for you both |
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By *ik69Man
over a year ago
Sheffield |
"Is a marriage based on sex alone? Does a marriage become sexless first and breakdown as a result of this or vice versa?"
Sexless first, no sex more stress and breakdown as result of this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people stay in sexless marriages?!"
We often ask the same question, love don’t really come into it
It’s a whole deal love,sex, time and the importance of a close connection
Take one out of the equation and it’s going to be hard to maintain it for long |
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"Is a marriage based on sex alone? Does a marriage become sexless first and breakdown as a result of this or vice versa?
Sexless first, no sex more stress and breakdown as result of this "
In my case the relationship broke down first, no sex followed, divorce shortly after. |
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"Why do people stay in sexless marriages?!
We often ask the same question, love don’t really come into it
It’s a whole deal love,sex, time and the importance of a close connection
Take one out of the equation and it’s going to be hard to maintain it for long "
I know of quite a few very successful marriages that are sexless due to disability or illness. The people have always maintained affection and intimacy in the way of cuddles etc though |
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"But devoid of fun, desire?
Is that 'love'?
Or is that a partnership
Marriage is a partnership at its core. You have to build on that
...me durrrr
Appreciate, marriage is a partnership but no sex? Kinda living your life on the river bank, whilst everyone floats down the river"
Single person here...no one is floating down the river...that's just your imagination that the grass is greener...no it's green where you water it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why do people stay in sexless marriages?!
We often ask the same question, love don’t really come into it
It’s a whole deal love,sex, time and the importance of a close connection
Take one out of the equation and it’s going to be hard to maintain it for long "
Totally agree & deffo a complex thing. But a marriage and indeed a partnership with no sex is not gunna work. IMHO, you become good friends living life on less 'throttle' |
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By *ik69Man
over a year ago
Sheffield |
"Is a marriage based on sex alone? Does a marriage become sexless first and breakdown as a result of this or vice versa?
Sexless first, no sex more stress and breakdown as result of this
In my case the relationship broke down first, no sex followed, divorce shortly after. "
One of my friend told me that most of problems solve in bed after a good sex.
For me more sex less stress |
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"Is a marriage based on sex alone? Does a marriage become sexless first and breakdown as a result of this or vice versa?
Sexless first, no sex more stress and breakdown as result of this
In my case the relationship broke down first, no sex followed, divorce shortly after. "
Same. We had sex every week until a month before I left. So it clearly wasn't the sex. It was him being a lying abuser. After police involvement, I was over it. Got out to save myself. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe for the children ?"
Exactly my situation, I thought leaving would 'damage' my children. It wasn't nice but my children now see Mum & Dad are happy, and that's all they need |
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"Is a marriage based on sex alone? Does a marriage become sexless first and breakdown as a result of this or vice versa?
Sexless first, no sex more stress and breakdown as result of this
In my case the relationship broke down first, no sex followed, divorce shortly after.
One of my friend told me that most of problems solve in bed after a good sex.
For me more sex less stress "
Billy Connolly once said
"Women need to feel loved to have sex, men need sex to feel love. We're fucked"  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"many reasons , could be financial, children, who knows everyone who does have there reasons, couples can still be friends without sex , "
But a life with no intimacy? Would you want to lead that life? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Is a marriage based on sex alone? Does a marriage become sexless first and breakdown as a result of this or vice versa?
Sexless first, no sex more stress and breakdown as result of this
In my case the relationship broke down first, no sex followed, divorce shortly after.
One of my friend told me that most of problems solve in bed after a good sex.
For me more sex less stress
Billy Connolly once said
"Women need to feel loved to have sex, men need sex to feel love. We're fucked" "
Ya gotta love billy connolly, he speaks a lot of truth! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"many reasons , could be financial, children, who knows everyone who does have there reasons, couples can still be friends without sex ,
But a life with no intimacy? Would you want to lead that life?"
It's entirety up to the individuals |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"many reasons , could be financial, children, who knows everyone who does have there reasons, couples can still be friends without sex ,
But a life with no intimacy? Would you want to lead that life?"
Intimacy need not necessarily be sexual. |
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"many reasons , could be financial, children, who knows everyone who does have there reasons, couples can still be friends without sex ,
But a life with no intimacy? Would you want to lead that life?"
Intimacy and sex are different things in my opinion |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So i asked this question because:
1. I was in a sexless marriage, well last 3yrs of it, and we both stayed because we didn't want to hurt our children. But if you manage it well, the children get it and you realise they just want mum & dad to be happy
2. A guy i know has been in a sexless marriage for 15yrs, even his wedding night to date, nothing down stairs apart from a few hand jobs, you've never seen such an odd pair
3. After my divorce my dad confided in me that he was jealous of me, turns out he's had no intimacy in 30yrs. It breaks my heart that such a funny warm guy gets no intimacy from his wife
So, why do people treat each other this way?
Yes sex isn't everything, but life with no warmth, joy or desire, is that living?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Initially I stayed because I thought it would change and go back to how it was .... then I stayed because I feared being judged for being twice divorced .... try I stayed because my self confidence was rock bottom ..... after 7 years of no sex or intimacy... not even allowed to pleasure myself ....I chose to end my marriage. I never cheated once.
I did it for me and my children because they deserved and needed a happy mum. It was worth it. |
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"So i asked this question because:
1. I was in a sexless marriage, well last 3yrs of it, and we both stayed because we didn't want to hurt our children. But if you manage it well, the children get it and you realise they just want mum & dad to be happy
2. A guy i know has been in a sexless marriage for 15yrs, even his wedding night to date, nothing down stairs apart from a few hand jobs, you've never seen such an odd pair
3. After my divorce my dad confided in me that he was jealous of me, turns out he's had no intimacy in 30yrs. It breaks my heart that such a funny warm guy gets no intimacy from his wife
So, why do people treat each other this way?
Yes sex isn't everything, but life with no warmth, joy or desire, is that living??"
Without knowing full background stories it's not possible to say.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"many reasons , could be financial, children, who knows everyone who does have there reasons, couples can still be friends without sex ,
But a life with no intimacy? Would you want to lead that life?
Intimacy and sex are different things in my opinion "
Absolutely, but if you're partner removed them, how would you feel? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think there is a difference of loving someone and being in love with someone. Sometimes people stay cause of the former as appose to latter. I know a few people who are content in their marriage but not in love. They still have sex probably more routine than anything. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So i asked this question because:
1. I was in a sexless marriage, well last 3yrs of it, and we both stayed because we didn't want to hurt our children. But if you manage it well, the children get it and you realise they just want mum & dad to be happy
2. A guy i know has been in a sexless marriage for 15yrs, even his wedding night to date, nothing down stairs apart from a few hand jobs, you've never seen such an odd pair
3. After my divorce my dad confided in me that he was jealous of me, turns out he's had no intimacy in 30yrs. It breaks my heart that such a funny warm guy gets no intimacy from his wife
So, why do people treat each other this way?
Yes sex isn't everything, but life with no warmth, joy or desire, is that living??
Without knowing full background stories it's not possible to say.
"
Definitely. As they oop north, there's nowt as funny as folk |
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"many reasons , could be financial, children, who knows everyone who does have there reasons, couples can still be friends without sex ,
But a life with no intimacy? Would you want to lead that life?
Intimacy and sex are different things in my opinion
Absolutely, but if you're partner removed them, how would you feel?"
We have been together 43 years. If he removed intimacy in the form of hand holding, a touch on the arm etc I'd struggle and worry that there was a problem. In the course of a 43 year relationship your sex life tends to wax and wane, illness, childbirth etc can cause a down turn, holidays, feeling happy, etc can cause an upturn.
I honestly think it's up to individuals though. If a marriage isn't working there's no point flogging a dead horse but I reckon in many cases lack of sex isn't the only issue although it might be the main one. I suspect lack of communication and understanding is what causes the actual breakdown |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think there is a difference of loving someone and being in love with someone. Sometimes people stay cause of the former as appose to latter. I know a few people who are content in their marriage but not in love. They still have sex probably more routine than anything."
But that sounds really sad |
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By *iganpairCouple
over a year ago
Wigan, Lancs. |
Marriage isn't just sex we dint have it like we used to but we moved over to cuckold lifestyle
Still madly in love still soul mate best mates just rare we have sex that's what the other guys are for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What you mean not allowed to pleasure yourself,surely there were times when he wasn’t with you "
I didn't have much time to myself and he made it very clear he thought it was unattractive. Eventually I gave up on sex in any form even on my own because my self esteem was so low.
But it's OK I've made up for it now
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"many reasons , could be financial, children, who knows everyone who does have there reasons, couples can still be friends without sex ,
But a life with no intimacy? Would you want to lead that life?
Intimacy and sex are different things in my opinion
Absolutely, but if you're partner removed them, how would you feel?
We have been together 43 years. If he removed intimacy in the form of hand holding, a touch on the arm etc I'd struggle and worry that there was a problem. In the course of a 43 year relationship your sex life tends to wax and wane, illness, childbirth etc can cause a down turn, holidays, feeling happy, etc can cause an upturn.
I honestly think it's up to individuals though. If a marriage isn't working there's no point flogging a dead horse but I reckon in many cases lack of sex isn't the only issue although it might be the main one. I suspect lack of communication and understanding is what causes the actual breakdown "
Love this answer! 43yrs of intimacy, bravo to both of you.
I think we have to be honest with ourselves. If intimacy disappears, there's something going on and its your choice if you want to stay in a relationship or not |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why do people stay in sexless marriages?!
Love
Fear
Commitment
Children
finances
Insecurity
co-dependency
Ego
Status
Religion
Abuse
Etc
Etc"
Meant you nailed this answer! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Initially I stayed because I thought it would change and go back to how it was .... then I stayed because I feared being judged for being twice divorced .... try I stayed because my self confidence was rock bottom ..... after 7 years of no sex or intimacy... not even allowed to pleasure myself ....I chose to end my marriage. I never cheated once.
I did it for me and my children because they deserved and needed a happy mum. It was worth it. "
Well done you! Not saying its easy but you come first and all children want is for you both to be happy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Well done you! Not saying its easy but you come first and all children want is for you both to be happy "
It was not the only reason I ended things but it was a significant one. My kids are so pleased I am happy now and they have the best version of their Mum because my mental health has recovered. The loneliest I have ever felt was in that marriage.
Sex and intimacy are linked to me when in that sort of emotional relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Well done you! Not saying its easy but you come first and all children want is for you both to be happy
It was not the only reason I ended things but it was a significant one. My kids are so pleased I am happy now and they have the best version of their Mum because my mental health has recovered. The loneliest I have ever felt was in that marriage.
Sex and intimacy are linked to me when in that sort of emotional relationship. "
Well done you, go be you sista! |
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Probably because they don't want to be alone, for me sex is important in a marriage but it's not the be all & end all, if it were to stop there would be conversations on how to come to a compromise if I wanted to remain married.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Probably because they don't want to be alone, for me sex is important in a marriage but it's not the be all & end all, if it were to stop there would be conversations on how to come to a compromise if I wanted to remain married.
Mrs "
Yup, that's a big fear. But what if other partner said they were happy with no intimacy and one partner wasnt? That's a recipe for both being miserable.
And thats the situation for the guy in the 15yr sexless marriage
And he wonders why he's so feckin miserable! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Kids involved , finances , lots of reasons . I’m in one now . Doesn’t mean you don’t get on and still have love for each other ."
This!!
Been there myself |
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"Probably because they don't want to be alone, for me sex is important in a marriage but it's not the be all & end all, if it were to stop there would be conversations on how to come to a compromise if I wanted to remain married.
Mrs
Yup, that's a big fear. But what if other partner said they were happy with no intimacy and one partner wasnt? That's a recipe for both being miserable.
And thats the situation for the guy in the 15yr sexless marriage
And he wonders why he's so feckin miserable!"
No it's a recipe for comprising, if that didn't work and the other partner was so miserable they need the balls to say so and leave.
Mrs |
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By *ik69Man
over a year ago
Sheffield |
"Is a marriage based on sex alone? Does a marriage become sexless first and breakdown as a result of this or vice versa?
Sexless first, no sex more stress and breakdown as result of this
In my case the relationship broke down first, no sex followed, divorce shortly after.
One of my friend told me that most of problems solve in bed after a good sex.
For me more sex less stress
Billy Connolly once said
"Women need to feel loved to have sex, men need sex to feel love. We're fucked" "
We all fucked  |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Fear of coming worse off in a divorce settlement 
So you value money over your own happiness?"
Wasn't talking about
myself but heard of five guys sharing a home because they've all ended up single like the undateables |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because she's my best friend
Who doesn't want to touch you & share intimacy with you?"
She has a long term illness. She can't share hysical intimacy with me. Is that a good enough reason for us to separate ? That's a very narrow minded view especially when you have no idea about my, or anyone else's circumstances |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Because she's my best friend
Who doesn't want to touch you & share intimacy with you?
She has a long term illness. She can't share hysical intimacy with me. Is that a good enough reason for us to separate ? That's a very narrow minded view especially when you have no idea about my, or anyone else's circumstances "
I'm sorry to hear that, but, so your needs become unimportant? |
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"Why do people stay in sexless marriages?!
Because they love each other.
And if you love someone but the sex has gone it's not the end of the relationship is it"
Absolutely not! There are so many reasons a marriage may be sexless! |
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"Love, children, finances, familiarity, better the devil you know etc.
Leaving a sexless marriage doesn't catapult you into a world where sex is on demand. "
I believe that to be a very accurate and spot on assessment |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because she's my best friend
Who doesn't want to touch you & share intimacy with you?
She has a long term illness. She can't share hysical intimacy with me. Is that a good enough reason for us to separate ? That's a very narrow minded view especially when you have no idea about my, or anyone else's circumstances
I'm sorry to hear that, but, so your needs become unimportant?"
Far from it. I have her consent to meet my needs. The value of friendship and understanding in a marriage goes beyond the physical |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people stay in sexless marriages?!
Because there's more to love than sex
Then why are you on a swingers site?"
I aren't in a sexless marriage, just my thoughts on why people stay in one |
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The situation for anyone in a sexless relationship & the reason they stay probably varies from person to person. It also depends on how much value you place on sex, whether you see it as essential or not & the wider benefits. My partner is not interested in sex & says he never has been even as a young man. We are not married, don’t have kids or linked finances. I stay because of the common interest we have, believe there is more to life than just sex & happy with the relationship in all other aspects x |
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"Because she's my best friend
Who doesn't want to touch you & share intimacy with you?
She has a long term illness. She can't share hysical intimacy with me. Is that a good enough reason for us to separate ? That's a very narrow minded view especially when you have no idea about my, or anyone else's circumstances
I'm sorry to hear that, but, so your needs become unimportant?
Far from it. I have her consent to meet my needs. The value of friendship and understanding in a marriage goes beyond the physical"
That's my opinion too.
I think people often have differing expectations of marriage though. If you're lucky enough to be two people who can negotiate a relationship that's mutually supportive, understanding and encourages individuality you're in with a fighting chance if or when trouble comes knocking
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sexless marriage's are just a symptom of much bigger issues sadly. Why do folks stay in them, children, financially trapped, a hope that one day things will be happy again perhaps. |
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Kids breakups I'm 47 my wife is 43 and we haven't had sex for 6 years no touching etc . I love her to bits , she knows I'm bi from when. Young but I'm not in love. In the last month it's the first time I have been unfaithful Tca club where I can have nsa sorry for long rant ... |
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I think communication is vital in any marriage and it would be naive of anyone to think marriages don’t take hard work.
We’ve been together 30 years and of course theirs been times when we’ve had stale patches but their was always a reason for it and we talked about it so we both knew exactly what was going on.
I can only comment on things from a women’s point of view and posts I’ve seen on here from and let’s face it mostly men that are asking advice from strangers about their marriage.
If my husband couldn’t have a conversation with me about our marriage then that would worry me more than having no sex.
I’m also quite cynical maybe it’s old age but I’m extremely dubious about the amount of people that are in sexless marriages some people are just purely selfish.Others are genuinely still in love and it could be health reasons ,that would be the only reason I personally would stay in a sexless marriage. |
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"Is a marriage based on sex alone? Does a marriage become sexless first and breakdown as a result of this or vice versa?
Sexless first, no sex more stress and breakdown as result of this
In my case the relationship broke down first, no sex followed, divorce shortly after.
One of my friend told me that most of problems solve in bed after a good sex.
For me more sex less stress
Billy Connolly once said
"Women need to feel loved to have sex, men need sex to feel love. We're fucked" "
Accurate |
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"So i asked this question because:
1. I was in a sexless marriage, well last 3yrs of it, and we both stayed because we didn't want to hurt our children. But if you manage it well, the children get it and you realise they just want mum & dad to be happy
2. A guy i know has been in a sexless marriage for 15yrs, even his wedding night to date, nothing down stairs apart from a few hand jobs, you've never seen such an odd pair
3. After my divorce my dad confided in me that he was jealous of me, turns out he's had no intimacy in 30yrs. It breaks my heart that such a funny warm guy gets no intimacy from his wife
So, why do people treat each other this way?
Yes sex isn't everything, but life with no warmth, joy or desire, is that living??"
I have warmth, joy and desire and I'm single. I actually have to actively create it instead of magically expecting it to always be there. Many people get lazy in marriage. Marriage is not sex on tap or romance on tap. you have to work at it. |
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"Initially I stayed because I thought it would change and go back to how it was .... then I stayed because I feared being judged for being twice divorced .... try I stayed because my self confidence was rock bottom ..... after 7 years of no sex or intimacy... not even allowed to pleasure myself ....I chose to end my marriage. I never cheated once.
I did it for me and my children because they deserved and needed a happy mum. It was worth it. "
things never magically change. It takes work. Most people get to a point where they do not want to do the work for various reasons. |
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"many reasons , could be financial, children, who knows everyone who does have there reasons, couples can still be friends without sex ,
But a life with no intimacy? Would you want to lead that life?
Intimacy and sex are different things in my opinion
Absolutely, but if you're partner removed them, how would you feel?"
If my committed life partner removed all intimacy and connection, then that would indicate to me that they are either ill physically or psychologically or they no longer want to be with me.
I'd feel terrible but I can't force anyone to be intimate with me.. That feels very gross to force intimacy of any kind. |
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"Why do people stay in sexless marriages?!
Love
Fear
Commitment
Children
finances
Insecurity
co-dependency
Ego
Status
Religion
Abuse
Etc
Etc
Meant you nailed this answer!"
Noted. I was married. I left him. I was celibate for a 2 years while single. I suffered low libido for 2 years while single. I never thought I would have low libido but it happened so I had to figure out a way to find my desire again and because I was single I knew that it was me and not the other person. |
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"Probably because they don't want to be alone, for me sex is important in a marriage but it's not the be all & end all, if it were to stop there would be conversations on how to come to a compromise if I wanted to remain married.
Mrs
Yup, that's a big fear. But what if other partner said they were happy with no intimacy and one partner wasnt? That's a recipe for both being miserable.
And thats the situation for the guy in the 15yr sexless marriage
And he wonders why he's so feckin miserable!"
If someone said that they didn't want intimacy but they wanted a committed relationship, I would question their state of mind. It feels like they want all the benefits of a relationship but none of the things that actually sustain the other person. Worse if you are in a monogamous relationship with no intimacy. Humans are not designed like that.
Intimacy can be something as simple as the touch of a hand. If someone is allowing no touching at all in any relationship. That would be very confusing/concerning for me. Even asexuals touch in relationships.
It appears that amongst the general population that talking about sex is still taboo and full of misinformation. I thought we are all free and liberated but no. There are women my age who have never had an orgasm and people younger than me who get told that there is something wrong with their genitals by GPs. A GP is not a sex expert/sex therapist or gynecologist or urologist and if people have sexual complications, they should refer them to the appropriate consultant/specialist.
It's common for women to experience vaginismus and low libido which puts them off sex and for some people avoiding the problem is easier than tackling the problem.
I always ask men what they do to try to get their wives in the mood and the answer is usually nothing.
They don't go anywhere without the kids. They don't have any romantic date night once the kids are in bed. They do nothing together. They never send their wife off to the spa, nail salon, hair salon or girls night while they take over the household chores and childcare. But magically expect it to be the hottest porn night ever when they come together as a couple.
I can tell you now as a single woman, if a woman feels like a depressed, overworked,unpampered, untreated,unglamourous,baby machine, the last thing on her mind is sex. I actually have to take myself out on dates, treat myself, dressed up and reduce my workload, fight off my depression to raise my libido. And I don't have kids, a household and a husband to look after!! and my vagina works fine.
Other women are unable to muster the desire even if they love their husbands. the same thing happens to men except then their willies stop working. Nothing physically wrong just psychologically they feel like crap. |
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"Because she's my best friend
Who doesn't want to touch you & share intimacy with you?
She has a long term illness. She can't share hysical intimacy with me. Is that a good enough reason for us to separate ? That's a very narrow minded view especially when you have no idea about my, or anyone else's circumstances "
Physical Intimacy- Does that mean that you do not touch/hug/cuddle/caress? Or does that mean that you don't use your penis?
I wasn't feeling physically well at one of the socials at a swinger club but I had a very nice cuddle with one of my fellow neurodivergents. I think people thought it was weird but it was what we both needed at the time. Basic human touch, intimacy, and connection.
That's why people volunteer to hold neonatal babies. A child without touch will not thrive and in some cases not survive. |
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"Why do people stay in sexless marriages?!
Because there's more to love than sex
Then why are you on a swingers site?"
Not all swingers are out here having wild group sex. Some are here for the social aspect. I can't talk about sex in my usual social groups as some have sexual trauma and get triggered. I can talk about it here and in my swingers' socials. As I said before, I sometimes just go to swing clubs to cuddle, chat and relax. Some people the goal is sex at the club but for me, that's not my goal.
Even online we are making an intimate connection without the penetrative heterosexual act. People feel seen and heard here without the pressure of societal, familial and social formalities and responsibilities and status quos.
We including myself have to try to understand and be more open. Coming here takes me out of my comfort zone and tendency to avoid. Same with the clubs. |
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There is a difference between a sexless marriage and an unhappy one. Some people don’t need/want sex regularly. Some couples connect without it. I’d question more why people stay in unhappy marriages. A lack of sex is often a symptom and not a cause.
C x |
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As some one else said it about happiness not the sex .but if your unhappy that's difference question . we don't have sex due to Maya's
I'll health but we are still very happy and and Maya no problem me getting sex elsewhere .does effect us we been together 10years and will be for many more years . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm in one but that doesn't mean I don't love my wife and I hope that she doesn't love me.
But I enjoy sex, so why not? Is it cheating? Maybe, but as we don't sleep together and have no physical intimacy I truly don't consider it so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people have a higher sex drive than others, mine is kinda low but my wife has a very high sex drive, sex or no sex doesn't meen our marriage should be ended the most important thing is communication, if your not open to your partner then how could they possibly understand how you feel. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fear of what might happen if you end it is the common reason, especially when kids are involved.
On very rare occasions both partners don't care. It's usually one that's not interested and the other putting up with it.
I was previously in a sexless marriage. There was still a lot of warmth and intimacy in other forms but without making love it felt like living life without listening to music or tasting food again and I became far less tolerant of my wife's difficult behaviours leading to a spiral.
At first I tried cheating on her thinking getting it elsewhere might help, but it wasn't sex I was missing it was making love, so ultimately we split. |
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"Marriage isn't just sex we dint have it like we used to but we moved over to cuckold lifestyle
Still madly in love still soul mate best mates just rare we have sex that's what the other guys are for "
Good luck to you both, but it sounds like your wife is getting exactly what she wants….plenty of sex, just not with you. Sounds like you are going along with cuckolding because you would never have any semblance of a sex life without it. That must be very hard to take. |
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My wife became disabled in 1999. She lost all sexual feeling and desire. We have been married over 40 years, in 2008 I met someone and began an intimate relationship which developed into swinging on this site. My swinging partner developed long Covid and no longer plays. I am here for some friends I’ve made and new ones I would like to make.
Sex is still important, and the swinging scene gave/gives me the opportunity to have sex without the complications of an “affair” there’s no expectations.
Home life is unaffected, I am a diligent and vey caring person and carer.
It’s just different.
Sorry if I’ve over shared |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd be more disappointed in someone who stayed because of the sex. Without loving back equally, been loyal or having respect for their sexually active partner.
Of course people stay in sexless marriages. Maybe its sexless because of medical issues.
I'd choose love & happiness over shags any day of the week.
Maybe you'll find out one day!!!
Mrs C |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd be more disappointed in someone who stayed because of the sex. Without loving back equally, been loyal or having respect for their sexually active partner.
Of course people stay in sexless marriages. Maybe its sexless because of medical issues.
I'd choose love & happiness over shags any day of the week.
Maybe you'll find out one day!!!
Mrs C "
Same as us  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd be more disappointed in someone who stayed because of the sex. Without loving back equally, been loyal or having respect for their sexually active partner.
Of course people stay in sexless marriages. Maybe its sexless because of medical issues.
I'd choose love & happiness over shags any day of the week.
Maybe you'll find out one day!!!
Mrs C
Same as us "
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Other needs not so easily met.
