FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Negative profiles
Negative profiles
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just read a few profiles and amazed at how aggressive they sound, all about we dont want this so dont message us
if your bi we will block you, married we will block you, if you dont read all the profile, only white, over a certain age......all their demands etc which is understandable but comes across so aggressively.
I wonder if they only meet people whose profiles are equally aggressively written?
I know its frustrating to get messages from those you dont want but there are filters to help.
I swung as a single for many years and at times my profile got a bit dont want this dont want that, but tried to keep it sounding positive to show that I am a nice person.
So my question is what do you think your profile says about you when you re read it.
Is it all negative and aggressive, funny, detailed, empty.....
Fruit x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont like profiles who rant on about time wasters
For a start its pointless as time wasters wont not msil you because you moan about them on your profile
These type of profiles do come over as quite aggressive and i find them very off putting |
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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago
taunton |
"Just read a few profiles and amazed at how aggressive they sound, all about we dont want this so dont message us
if your bi we will block you, married we will block you, if you dont read all the profile, only white, over a certain age......all their demands etc which is understandable but comes across so aggressively.
I wonder if they only meet people whose profiles are equally aggressively written?
I know its frustrating to get messages from those you dont want but there are filters to help.
I swung as a single for many years and at times my profile got a bit dont want this dont want that, but tried to keep it sounding positive to show that I am a nice person.
So my question is what do you think your profile says about you when you re read it.
Is it all negative and aggressive, funny, detailed, empty.....
Fruit x"
Hmmmm think ours says not a lot lol, helppppppppp |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think mine offers a small snapshot of my personality. I don't take things to seriously and I can string a sentence in an intelligent way. Who knows if I've pulled it off tho'  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What I find aggressive you may not and vice versa, everyone _iews things differently.
I can understand completely why people but a list of do's/dont's. for me, it reduced unwanted messages, which saves me a lot if time writing no thank you messages.
When I first started out on this site my profile was only a few sentences long, and increased over time due to number unwanted messages I was getting.
I don't think my profile is negative in anyway, but others may disagree.
At the end of the day, everyone is entitled to write their profile how they see fit, if I don't like what I read, I move o to next profile. Though personally I'd rather read a ranty moaning profile, than one that says will fill in later, or ask to find out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I read profiles who start off with negativity, rants or call certain groups of people names, ie NO TIMEWASTERS, NO MINGERS, or READ THE PROFILE!! I always think god what a bundle of laughs they sound and I just click off it.
To me a profile should be a piece of written text which describes you and what you are wanting from the swinging experience. If people feel that they need to get shouty then don't bother meeting if things annoy you that much |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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profiles who tell you to put a certain word in the message title to show you have read their profile are a no no to me
Also my biggest pet hate in profiles are couples who bang on about not meeting single guys and rant about the fact single guyts still keep messages them and how guys cant read who then mail me |
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I find it makes no difference what you put on your profile, people only see what they want to see, its always been the same since i joined the site over 7 years ago, had a few profiles worded in everyway possible and made no difference  |
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"What I find aggressive you may not and vice versa, everyone _iews things differently.
I can understand completely why people but a list of do's/dont's. for me, it reduced unwanted messages, which saves me a lot if time writing no thank you messages.
When I first started out on this site my profile was only a few sentences long, and increased over time due to number unwanted messages I was getting.
I don't think my profile is negative in anyway, but others may disagree.
At the end of the day, everyone is entitled to write their profile how they see fit, if I don't like what I read, I move o to next profile. Though personally I'd rather read a ranty moaning profile, than one that says will fill in later, or ask to find out "
Ours started off as a few lines & grew & grew & grew as we just got bombarded by people who, without it clearly written in black n white, pestered us & when we said why we weren't interested pointed out that our profile didn't say that. So we really have tried to make it abundantly clear as to what we don't want.
But we have put a list of what we like too!
However we still get bombarded by those who clearly illiterate! And although we always blame single men, they are not wholly to blame.
I was surprised as to how many couple ignore what the profile states too. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
the more aggressive, the idiots they attract
the more venomous about a certain preference, 'we will check this and we will check that', the more some will create second profiles to get round them
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We tried to keep our profile light hearted and not too demanding, really don't like the aggressive ones we just look and move on if its full of DONT DO THIS etc  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i've just read my profile back and i think i'm a bit in the middle. i do think it helps saying what you do and don't like. i suppose some people may think i was over the top going on about verifications but when you get messaged off "couples" that have been on over a year without even their pic verified i think it was called for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We tried to keep our profile light hearted and not too demanding, really don't like the aggressive ones we just look and move on if its full of DONT DO THIS etc "
Why is Eastbourne so far from stoke  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ours is informative i think - only any good if the people who read them take any notice - to be fair weve not had many who havent noticed the word LOCAL and most people who message fit what were looking for - so maybe its ok or we are just lucky |
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"When I read profiles who start off with negativity, rants or call certain groups of people names, ie NO TIMEWASTERS, NO MINGERS, or READ THE PROFILE!! I always think god what a bundle of laughs they sound and I just click off it.
To me a profile should be a piece of written text which describes you and what you are wanting from the swinging experience. If people feel that they need to get shouty then don't bother meeting if things annoy you that much "
My thoughts exactly x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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some people spend so much time going on about who they dont want to meet and what they are not looking for they seem to forget to mention what they are actually here for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"some people spend so much time going on about who they dont want to meet and what they are not looking for they seem to forget to mention what they are actually here for "
Couldn't have put it better myself  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think mine is that interesting, but I don't think it's aggressive either, maybe time for a little change around to attract some new attention....I've been told I'm too fussy, but ho hum, I know what I like.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The ones that threaten to block you just for looking at them I find offputting , and also as has been said the ones with a list of demands.
I've only one shouty bit in mine about not meeting straight men. It was near the bottom of the profile and I was still getting loads of mail from them as they just don't read that far. But after advice from a post the other week I moved it nearer the top and have had none since.
So someone reads at least. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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When I had my single profile I got so much mail from people outside my preferences and what I was looking for in relation to local, not spur of the moment meets, non smokers .....I just had to accept that even if your profile was full of I WONT DO THIS....and other shouty requirements people will still mail you trying their luck and not read your profile.
I had many verfis and many pics so people would see those and ignore all that was written anyway lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My profile? Quintessentially me - using my true superpower, verbosity, like a lyrical Rohypnol to bend you to my will.
...or bore the pants off you.
Either way, your pants are off, so its a win!!! |
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I don't think ours is negative, long yes, informative yes but not negative.
As with most profiles it's grown over the years, the main reason for this is to save everyone time, especially us! If you mail us & obviously haven't read the profile it saves us time in answering |
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I agree with the OP, its fine to be fussy or to have preferences but there are ways of saying it so that people arent put off you. I have tried to avoid having a negative profile. Actually, all it tells you about what I'm looking for is sex & cake haha. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We try not to make ours negative in any way, but there are a few things which you need to emphasise, and sometimes it's not easy finding a 'pleasant' way to say it which is clear to the reader.
We try to avoid BLOCK CAPS as much as possible, but with no emboldening or italics available in the text box (Are you reading this Fabwebmasters????? Lol!) so we keep that to a minimum, and are put off by profiles which have whole paragraphs written in caps.
We'll let others decide... sure they'll tell us if we've got it wrong...
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