FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Neurodivergent - Wonky Brained Deviants Club - P15
Neurodivergent - Wonky Brained Deviants Club - P15
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Been a while since the last thread, so either you've all lost interest or you're all overthinking whether you should start the thread or not.
Anyway, all flavours of neurodiversity welcome; Autism, ADHD, Dyspraxia, Dyslexia and anything in between -- suspected diagnosis counts too. 
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Previous Threads here:
P1 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1346028
P2 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1369444
P3 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1374628
P4 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1375399
P5 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1378212
P6 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1379859
P7 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/1384337
P8 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1385017
P9 - https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1386683
P10 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/138935
P11 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1402246
P12 -https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1409222
P13
-https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1420947
P14
-https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1432224
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"Been a while since the last thread, so either you've all lost interest or you're all overthinking whether you should start the thread or not.
Anyway, all flavours of neurodiversity welcome; Autism, ADHD, Dyspraxia, Dyslexia and anything in between -- suspected diagnosis counts too.
-----------------------
Previous Threads here:
P1 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1346028
P2 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1369444
P3 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1374628
P4 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1375399
P5 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1378212
P6 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1379859
P7 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/1384337
P8 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1385017
P9 - https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1386683
P10 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/138935
P11 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1402246
P12 -https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1409222
P13
-https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1420947
P14
-https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1432224
"
Interesting. I've been diagnosed with ADHD recently. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Been a while since the last thread, so either you've all lost interest or you're all overthinking whether you should start the thread or not.
Anyway, all flavours of neurodiversity welcome; Autism, ADHD, Dyspraxia, Dyslexia and anything in between -- suspected diagnosis counts too.
-----------------------
Previous Threads here:
P1 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1346028
P2 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1369444
P3 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1374628
P4 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1375399
P5 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1378212
P6 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1379859
P7 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/1384337
P8 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1385017
P9 - https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1386683
P10 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/138935
P11 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1402246
P12 -https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1409222
P13
-https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1420947
P14
-https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1432224
Interesting. I've been diagnosed with ADHD recently. "
Hi
How did you find the process? |
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"Been a while since the last thread, so either you've all lost interest or you're all overthinking whether you should start the thread or not.
Anyway, all flavours of neurodiversity welcome; Autism, ADHD, Dyspraxia, Dyslexia and anything in between -- suspected diagnosis counts too.
-----------------------
Previous Threads here:
P1 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1346028
P2 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1369444
P3 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1374628
P4 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1375399
P5 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1378212
P6 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1379859
P7 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/1384337
P8 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1385017
P9 - https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1386683
P10 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/138935
P11 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1402246
P12 -https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1409222
P13
-https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1420947
P14
-https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1432224
Interesting. I've been diagnosed with ADHD recently.
Hi
How did you find the process? "
Quite straightforward really. GP made a referral to NHS but it was a 4 year wait!! I managed to get a reasonably priced private assessment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Interesting. I've been diagnosed with ADHD recently.
Hi
How did you find the process?
Quite straightforward really. GP made a referral to NHS but it was a 4 year wait!! I managed to get a reasonably priced private assessment. "
4 years is utterly depressing and sadly not unusual! Do you mind sharing who you had your assessment with? I've seen some of the prices for private assessment and they are eye watering.
I went through the right to choose process with psychiatry uk so had to wait 6 months for assessment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been a while since the last thread, so either you've all lost interest or you're all overthinking whether you should start the thread or not.
Anyway, all flavours of neurodiversity welcome; Autism, ADHD, Dyspraxia, Dyslexia and anything in between -- suspected diagnosis counts too.
-----------------------
Previous Threads here:
P1 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1346028
P2 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1369444
P3 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1374628
P4 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1375399
P5 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1378212
P6 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1379859
P7 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/1384337
P8 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1385017
P9 - https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1386683
P10 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/138935
P11 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1402246
P12 -https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1409222
P13
-https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1420947
P14
-https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1432224
Interesting. I've been diagnosed with ADHD recently. "
Glad you’ve been diagnosed. How do you feel about it now that you have a definitive diagnosis? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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All I think I got from being diagnosed was a bit of an explanation for my ways.
Asperger's explained my hyperfocus, style of pigeonholing friendships and always feeling like a bit of a misfit. It also explained why I hate noise and have a shite sense of smell.
Dyspraxia explained my clumsiness and poor executive function.
ADHD explained everything else -- impulsive behaviour, obsessive projects, inability to complete tasks, boredom in relationships etc.
But, many of those traits can cross from one condition to the next -- so it's difficult to know where one thing starts and another thing ends.
To be honest, apart from personal understanding, I don't think any of it has been really helpful.
I couldn't handle ADHD meds, I was turned down for NHS talking therapy for being 'too complex' and I'm not in any position where I need 'reasonable adjustments' made for work or education anyway.
It's odd really -- they're all classed as 'hidden disabilities', but for the large part, the diagnoses have caused me more obstacles than just being a bit of a misfit.
It doesn't help that the NHS won't revoke my historic personality disorder diagnoses, that I believe were given to me by a clinician who didn't understand neurodiversity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry been burned out to fuck lately ,
Did a stupid amount of impulse purchasing and overdoing dating sites the other month and ended up basically going really bad and then beeb struggling at work and been exhausted especially after work n that ...
So barely been on anything to be honest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Afternoon all first time posting on these threads, but here it goes, as it turns out my brain is wonkier than I thought all these years 
I have mild cerebral palsy affecting my right hand side due to complications at birth and my brain was starved of oxygen for 3.5 mins. I had a Grand Mal seizure when I was 10, but after tests, parents told by doctors that this was a one off... fast forward 26 years with several "episodes" dotted about that were what I was told "faints", now turns out I have epilepsy - likely mixed.. Does explain a lot looking back over the years
Would be interesting to see if anyone has similar experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All I think I got from being diagnosed was a bit of an explanation for my ways.
Asperger's explained my hyperfocus, style of pigeonholing friendships and always feeling like a bit of a misfit. It also explained why I hate noise and have a shite sense of smell.
Dyspraxia explained my clumsiness and poor executive function.
ADHD explained everything else -- impulsive behaviour, obsessive projects, inability to complete tasks, boredom in relationships etc.
But, many of those traits can cross from one condition to the next -- so it's difficult to know where one thing starts and another thing ends.
To be honest, apart from personal understanding, I don't think any of it has been really helpful.
I couldn't handle ADHD meds, I was turned down for NHS talking therapy for being 'too complex' and I'm not in any position where I need 'reasonable adjustments' made for work or education anyway.
It's odd really -- they're all classed as 'hidden disabilities', but for the large part, the diagnoses have caused me more obstacles than just being a bit of a misfit.
It doesn't help that the NHS won't revoke my historic personality disorder diagnoses, that I believe were given to me by a clinician who didn't understand neurodiversity."
Interesting! So over all are you glad you got your diagnosis or not?
Just thinking out loud...
BPD
Favourite person
Fear of abandonment
Mood swings
Unstable sense of self
Autism
Special interest can be a person
RSD
Emotional reactions to change and over stimulation
masking
Erm make it make sense! Surely they should have dropped the BPD diagnosis when you were diagnosed with autism and adhd.
I don't think 6 weeks of CBT with the NHS is worth it for neurodivergent people, you haven't missed out. It was designed to be delivered over a longer period of time. Who wants to do homework for therapy anyway, 0 dopamine in doing that. Filling it out 10 minutes before an appointment isn't that helpful 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry been burned out to fuck lately ,
Did a stupid amount of impulse purchasing and overdoing dating sites the other month and ended up basically going really bad and then beeb struggling at work and been exhausted especially after work n that ...
So barely been on anything to be honest"
Time for some self care Mr! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Recently diagnosed adhd. Has helped me understand why I do a lot of thing to be honest.
It's a super power!"
Congratulations on your diagnosis! Glad it's helped. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Recently diagnosed adhd. Has helped me understand why I do a lot of thing to be honest.
It's a super power!
Congratulations on your diagnosis! Glad it's helped."
Really has am a lot more self aware and getting a better handle on my emotions and impulses which had gotten me into trouble before. Just starting the titration route for meds and see how that goes. Has helped me professionally to.
I'm now starting yo accept and really like who I am now I get why I do stuff. |
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By *neforutoMan
over a year ago
Fantasy land in the SW |
Aspergers here. Overly acute attention to detail and obsession with sexual matters At times this has felt like a mill stone around my neck not having others to express this with. Now I know whats different about my thinking Im happier with the bloody obsessions and being here allows me to express myself sexually in a safe environment - phew |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Aspergers here. Overly acute attention to detail and obsession with sexual matters At times this has felt like a mill stone around my neck not having others to express this with. Now I know whats different about my thinking Im happier with the bloody obsessions and being here allows me to express myself sexually in a safe environment - phew "
whenever we read or listen to anything about Autism, it's always about obscure or 'innocent' special interests -- it's very rare we hear anything about how sex can become an aspie obsession. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Where there is money for the private sector in medicine then there will always be abuse. If its not private ADHD clinics this week.
Its "hospitals" that keep autistics locked up, with no support or understanding. Because the government will throw close to £3.5k a week, yes a week at a private company to care for said individual.
That was in the news, maybe even Panorama, but its all gone a bit quiet since.
M |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Has anyone else found that while being diagnosed with a Neurodiversity, that you also discover you have a comorbidity?
M"
My ADHD was picked up on while I was a couple of weeks between the diagnostic interview and the ADOS part of the autism assessment.
This was with a different psychiatrist though, where I was complaining about being turned down for talking therapy just because I was on the autism waiting list.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was diagnosed with adhd at 3, then autism at 7. Still don’t really understand it. But it’s definatly effecting my social/sex life. But it’s nothing to be sad about if you have been diagnosed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have this to live with, horrible, amongst other things. Wish someone else had it and not me.
https://www.topdoctors.co.uk/medical-dictionary/dysthymia?amp=1 |
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"All I think I got from being diagnosed was a bit of an explanation for my ways.
Asperger's explained my hyperfocus, style of pigeonholing friendships and always feeling like a bit of a misfit. It also explained why I hate noise and have a shite sense of smell.
Dyspraxia explained my clumsiness and poor executive function.
ADHD explained everything else -- impulsive behaviour, obsessive projects, inability to complete tasks, boredom in relationships etc.
But, many of those traits can cross from one condition to the next -- so it's difficult to know where one thing starts and another thing ends.
To be honest, apart from personal understanding, I don't think any of it has been really helpful.
I couldn't handle ADHD meds, I was turned down for NHS talking therapy for being 'too complex' and I'm not in any position where I need 'reasonable adjustments' made for work or education anyway.
It's odd really -- they're all classed as 'hidden disabilities', but for the large part, the diagnoses have caused me more obstacles than just being a bit of a misfit.
It doesn't help that the NHS won't revoke my historic personality disorder diagnoses, that I believe were given to me by a clinician who didn't understand neurodiversity."
I can hear the frustration in your words.
Perhaps you can ask to see a statement with your current diagnoses over-ruling the past diagnosis.
As for "too complex", ask to see someone who understands the complexities. I can totally relate as I had a counsellor at my GP practice. Session one: talked about the trauma. Session two talked and the trauma and what we will do in future sessions. Session three: sorry you're too complex... Discharge. Tw@t! |
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"I have this to live with, horrible, amongst other things. Wish someone else had it and not me.
https://www.topdoctors.co.uk/medical-dictionary/dysthymia?amp=1"
What a horrid thing to state. Why can you not wish you simply don't have it?
I hope you get support for it. |
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By *jay1975Man
over a year ago
London / Barcelona |
Diagnosed with Asperger's a year or two ago. I feel like I'm rewriting myself bit by bit after 40 years of masking. Maybe my instincts are right for me. It's scary, not sure what's going to be left when the dust settles...
Got some long-term counseling support to help make sense of it, six weeks just isn't enough.
I hear you about "reasonable adjustments" at work. For me, it feels like i need wholesale change not tweaks. |
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"Diagnosed with Asperger's a year or two ago. I feel like I'm rewriting myself bit by bit after 40 years of masking. Maybe my instincts are right for me. It's scary, not sure what's going to be left when the dust settles...
Got some long-term counseling support to help make sense of it, six weeks just isn't enough.
I hear you about "reasonable adjustments" at work. For me, it feels like i need wholesale change not tweaks."
Reasonable adjustments are to comply with legislation, namely the equality act 2010. If your company has occy health, pay them a visit.
If you feel the company should make major changes, it may have the right to deploy you elsewhere in the company, or ask you to leave.
Perhaps it's just a major change in attitudes? |
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By *jay1975Man
over a year ago
London / Barcelona |
"Diagnosed with Asperger's a year or two ago. I feel like I'm rewriting myself bit by bit after 40 years of masking. Maybe my instincts are right for me. It's scary, not sure what's going to be left when the dust settles...
Got some long-term counseling support to help make sense of it, six weeks just isn't enough.
I hear you about "reasonable adjustments" at work. For me, it feels like i need wholesale change not tweaks.
Reasonable adjustments are to comply with legislation, namely the equality act 2010. If your company has occy health, pay them a visit.
If you feel the company should make major changes, it may have the right to deploy you elsewhere in the company, or ask you to leave.
Perhaps it's just a major change in attitudes?"
It's change in me, i really am a square and need to find a square hole |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can hear the frustration in your words.
Perhaps you can ask to see a statement with your current diagnoses over-ruling the past diagnosis.
As for "too complex", ask to see someone who understands the complexities. I can totally relate as I had a counsellor at my GP practice. Session one: talked about the trauma. Session two talked and the trauma and what we will do in future sessions. Session three: sorry you're too complex... Discharge. Tw@t!"
Thank you and yes -- the Personality Disorder Service wrote a letter to explain why I wasn't a good match for their service, but stopped short of actually writing off the original diagnosis, and as such it remains on my record like a shit that won't flush.
Anyway, I've kinda decided lately that I need to stop other people's opinions of me defining how I actually am, regardless of how 'expert' they may be - a lot of psychiatry seems to be turning into a bit of a pseudoscience.
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"Oh hey! Diagnosed C-PTSD and suspected but unable to asses just now for either ADHD or BPD. too many overlapping symptoms. Anyway... hi. "
I don't know about now but I believe borderline personality disorder was the go to if they couldn't neatly fit an individual into a particular box. One of my children is seeking an autism/ADHD diagnosis. |
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Afternoon all. Had a bit of a bad moment at work. Got emotionally stressed and my mind got over stimulated from the stress. The duty manager was understanding when I told him what was wrong so he told me to go home early.
This is what happens sometimes when I get stressed. When something goes wrong, I end up getting stressed and overstimulated with emotion which makes it hard for me to think or focus. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Posted on an older thread when had my diagnosis for ADHD.
Have started meds and has made a huge difference, just working out what's best dosage.
Helped me do the job in hand and get a hand on the emotional overload. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh hey! Diagnosed C-PTSD and suspected but unable to asses just now for either ADHD or BPD. too many overlapping symptoms. Anyway... hi. "
Personality Disorders are a learned or acquired response to childhood events, trauma or not being accepted due to developmental differences and parental or peer expectations.
They don't really manifest before adolescence, but it's entirely possible to have both -- they should look at your whole life, rather than what's going on now. |
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"Posted on an older thread when had my diagnosis for ADHD.
Have started meds and has made a huge difference, just working out what's best dosage.
Helped me do the job in hand and get a hand on the emotional overload."
I'm glad that you're finding the meds helpful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm adhd, dyslexic, dysprasic
It's a completely personal decision but I'm not medicated and in no desire to be.
I just about manage to function at work, home and being a solo mum maybe it's the adhd that means I can spin all them plates... With the hyper
I do struggle to ride that dopamine wave at times abd struggle with extreme lows but I soon know how to pick myself up
Happy fabbing fellow neuro-divergent xx |
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"Posted on an older thread when had my diagnosis for ADHD.
Have started meds and has made a huge difference, just working out what's best dosage.
Helped me do the job in hand and get a hand on the emotional overload."
Very much the same here! Such a huge difference in just a week. Hope your titration goes swimmingly  |
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"Posted on an older thread when had my diagnosis for ADHD.
Have started meds and has made a huge difference, just working out what's best dosage.
Helped me do the job in hand and get a hand on the emotional overload.
Very much the same here! Such a huge difference in just a week. Hope your titration goes swimmingly "
On a max dose of concerta now and it's wild how much difference it makes to just being able to function and do simple tasks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've not been formally diagnosed, but several people I know have suggested that I'm neurodivergent. Fairly new to all of this at the moment. Went to Quest yesterday for the first time; didn't play with anyone, but did manage to chat with some people, which I count as a win! |
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"Posted on an older thread when had my diagnosis for ADHD.
Have started meds and has made a huge difference, just working out what's best dosage.
Helped me do the job in hand and get a hand on the emotional overload.
Very much the same here! Such a huge difference in just a week. Hope your titration goes swimmingly
On a max dose of concerta now and it's wild how much difference it makes to just being able to function and do simple tasks "
It does, doesn't it? I am only 5 weeks into titration but the difference is massive. Life changing (raimbow) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What has anyone's experience been with the various online dating/meetup sites out there. I've been on various different ones for decades now, but I've meet up with maybe two or three people in real life? In some ways it seems even harder to handle than in-person socialising. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Long time no chat,
It's not a great post though, I'm currently suffering with really bad burnout n mental health problems, as usual I've been looking to sex as it's a regulator for me , but again this site forever disappoints..
Have 2 fwb neither of which I've seen for 2 n half months now ...
I'm massively suffering at work and currently forcing myself through each day only to be exhausted on a night .
I'm allready in 2nd line councling and updating my care coordinator but per the norm when it rains it pours |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Even I have had problems recently, I found time out and reducing the triggers (left a lot of social media groups), did indeed help.
Aside from the fantastic support my wife gave me, the best thing is a coffee / chat with friends.
Happy to have a coffee / chat with others too. I cannot promise that I can fix anything, but a coffee / chat can sometimes help.
Autism is a diagnosis, not a curse. It should enable you to understand yourself. When you understand yourself, you can then help others understand you.
Sex / Fetish / Stimming is something else... we shouldn't use others to make ourselves feel better. That is a hard thing to understand and realise.
Mark |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just want to check, people are aware that they can apply for PIP?
And if they are in work, but struggling... then they can apply for funding from Access To Work. That could pay for a mentor to help you (ensure they are autism specialists etc).
Just for your information.
M and M |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well hello
Very pleased to find this thread
I’m complicated to say the least but I can see I’m not the odd one out here which feels great."
You're deffo not alone, in the sense that there are others out here too who function differently to the neurotypical folk. |
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Oh my. Am so glad to find this thread / series.
ADHD here.
Some days are harder than others but there’s not a moment of my life that goes by unaffected.
The really hard stuff:
1. Making mistakes due to things like problems with executive function and then paying the price for that socially
2. Mental and physical co-morbidities, including but not limited to… fatigue
3. The role played by hormones in increasing my worst symptoms. Apparently women with ADHD have to be concerned about this.
The things I wouldn’t change:
1. Abstract thinking
2. Creativity
3. Hyperfocus |
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"Since these threads started, I've deleted my profile and rejoined three times.
I'm pretty sure normal people don't do that. "
And, because my username has vanished from earlier threads, I'm diagnosed with ADHD, Apserger's and Dyspraxia.
I don't think I have an obvious manifestation of any of those though -- a bit clumsy, hyperfocused, messy and untogether, but I seem to pass as normal in crowds.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh my. Am so glad to find this thread / series.
ADHD here.
Some days are harder than others but there’s not a moment of my life that goes by unaffected.
The really hard stuff:
1. Making mistakes due to things like problems with executive function and then paying the price for that socially
2. Mental and physical co-morbidities, including but not limited to… fatigue
3. The role played by hormones in increasing my worst symptoms. Apparently women with ADHD have to be concerned about this.
The things I wouldn’t change:
1. Abstract thinking
2. Creativity
3. Hyperfocus "
The world needs lot's of different minds x. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So, I went along to Quest (Leeds) today. This was the fifth time I've been to Quest, and the fourth time I've been on a Sunday. I don't know what exactly caused it, but by the time I left I felt so depressed that I was nearly breaking down in tears. I'm not sure I have any reason to keep going to Quest; besides the cost, it's a longish train journey for me, and it doesn't seem to be a good way of meeting people for me. |
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I've just realised that I suck at conversations as I can't come up with questions to ask and end up talking about what I've been up to. I feel so stupid and I know I shouldn't feel negative about being autistic but now, I wish I never had autism.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi everyone, dyslexic and dyspraxic here. I'm not sure about other things, I have inklings, but I had a major brain op a few years back so that kind of muddles things up and adds extra stuff into the mix. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So many new people "
Yesss! Just what I was thinking. I and I'm sure others here too, hope all the newcumers feel welcome and feel comfortable enough to express or share whatever with the group without feeling judged or anxious to. |
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A question to any of my fellow ASDers does anyone else struggle with forming connections with people and struggle socially. Maybe it’s just me but I really struggle to connect with people in a meaningful way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A question to any of my fellow ASDers does anyone else struggle with forming connections with people and struggle socially. Maybe it’s just me but I really struggle to connect with people in a meaningful way "
Yes, I am currently in the same waters as you dude. I won't divulge too deeply into it all, but yesterday (as I got an invitation) I went and hung out with a little group of people I know well. Good lovely people, but I spent near enough the whole time quiet/not being able to speak much or contribute to the conversations being had. I'm very sensitive to energies, but I feel that in my silence, of not actively engaging with those people, I was creating a sort of awkwardness and un-comfortability amongst people there. That then set a negative thought loop in motion which didn't help at all.
The one thing I'm always doing through naturally being an inquisitive person, is looking within myself to understand who I really am, why I am the way I am currently and what is necessary for self transformation. I am certain it is possible for people to completely transform into something new and fresh, but it needs a deep awareness of the inner and outer, and a passion for learning. |
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"A question to any of my fellow ASDers does anyone else struggle with forming connections with people and struggle socially. Maybe it’s just me but I really struggle to connect with people in a meaningful way "
Very much so. Gotten worse in the last 6-7 months. After struggling to open up I had someone disappointing me greatly and I highly doubt I will ever recover from it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A question to any of my fellow ASDers does anyone else struggle with forming connections with people and struggle socially. Maybe it’s just me but I really struggle to connect with people in a meaningful way
Very much so. Gotten worse in the last 6-7 months. After struggling to open up I had someone disappointing me greatly and I highly doubt I will ever recover from it. "
Oh noo! Really sorry to hear about that . I genuinely hope you do recover and eventually can interact with people again and gain some good connections with others at the very least. It's a tricky thing the world of relationships (not just romantic ones) and verbal & physical interactions. x
Today at work, I saw a kind guy that I had already spoken before when he came into the store, and I asked for his phone number as I have no social media's and wanted to keep in touch as I'm thinking of leaving my current job soon. As I asked him, I gather that he either didn't hear me properly or he wasn't interested so pretended to not hear me. I stood there as he walked away, so I felt a little awkward and uncertain what may have been the reason. I didn't want to go and ask him again and force it, so I went about that rest of my work as usual.
But instead of what I would normally do which is to ruminate about it and get more anxious and stuff, I just let the whole scenario/experience go. I let it be without trying to avoid the feelings or anything. I'm all good and no harm has been done. |
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Got diagnosed with ADHD at 35. It was great finally having an explanation for why i struggled with schoolwork etc my whole life.
At the same time its upsetting knowing if id known about it 30 years ago my life could have turned out completely differently.
My fiance is pretty understanding with it most of the time. Sometimes he needs reminding that im not always messy/forgetful/distracted because i dont care about him tho. |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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just wanted to drop by and say I'm going to be deleting my account in a few days once sub runs out.
the forum has been good to see other neurodivergance and glad to see that we have helped soo meny find a safe space.
however on the meeting side of this site it has genuinely been a horrendous experience. so I'm going and no longer wasting my energy.
Hope you all stay safe and play well
A |
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"just wanted to drop by and say I'm going to be deleting my account in a few days once sub runs out.
the forum has been good to see other neurodivergance and glad to see that we have helped soo meny find a safe space.
however on the meeting side of this site it has genuinely been a horrendous experience. so I'm going and no longer wasting my energy.
Hope you all stay safe and play well
A"
Thats a shame brother. I hope you find some luck in 2024 |
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"Been a while since the last thread, so either you've all lost interest or you're all overthinking whether you should start the thread or not.
Anyway, all flavours of neurodiversity welcome; Autism, ADHD, Dyspraxia, Dyslexia and anything in between -- suspected diagnosis counts too.
-----------------------
Previous Threads here:
P1 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1346028
P2 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1369444
P3 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1374628
P4 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1375399
P5 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1378212
P6 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1379859
P7 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/1384337
P8 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1385017
P9 - https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1386683
P10 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/138935
P11 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1402246
P12 -https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1409222
P13
-https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1420947
P14
-https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1432224
"
Miss you all. I've been deep in the throws of medication withdrawal, family keeping ( like beekeeping but worse. Lol!) and chronic insomnia ( battle medical professionals from trying to over/unnecessary medicate me)
Well here's to a more relaxing 2024!! |
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"just wanted to drop by and say I'm going to be deleting my account in a few days once sub runs out.
the forum has been good to see other neurodivergance and glad to see that we have helped soo meny find a safe space.
however on the meeting side of this site it has genuinely been a horrendous experience. so I'm going and no longer wasting my energy.
Hope you all stay safe and play well
A"
Hugs...do what you need to do to keep yourself safe, sane and stable. Since I'm fitting the ASD criteria, I will add selfcare and self soothe. |
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By *ister_EMan 50 weeks ago
Hayling Island |
ADHD and Dyslexia amongst other things here.
Understanding more about my ADHD in particular has definitely helped me understand a lot more about why I think, act and behave the way I do. I'm a lot less critical and hard on myself because of that!  It has also helped me develop coping strategies to improve my functionality and quality of life.
Choose not to medicate because I don't want to change who I am. |
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"I have this to try and get by with, amongst other stuff I wish I didn't.
https://www.topdoctors.co.uk/medical-dictionary/dysthymia"
That must be difficult to manage lovely, hope you have some support in the real world. |
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"I have this to try and get by with, amongst other stuff I wish I didn't.
https://www.topdoctors.co.uk/medical-dictionary/dysthymia
That must be difficult to manage lovely, hope you have some support in the real world."
Thanks for reading, doesn't help when the nicest people are outside my age range X |
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"Thought I'd pop back in and say hi to the old and new crew! Hope you've all been well.
Kitty
Good to see you are still around Kitty x
Ah thank you. Hope you're well?? X
All good and medicated "
Wonderful! Feeling better for it? X |
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Hello there, I’m ASD
Just discovered the terms wonky brained & neurospicy ha
Predictably I have trouble interacting with people face to face but being online alleviates much of that issue. But that in itself creates a new issue as I can come across as a different person, so just more frustration.
As others have said, some things I hate about being divergent and some things I love. |
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"Hello there, I’m ASD
Just discovered the terms wonky brained & neurospicy ha
Predictably I have trouble interacting with people face to face but being online alleviates much of that issue. But that in itself creates a new issue as I can come across as a different person, so just more frustration.
As others have said, some things I hate about being divergent and some things I love."
Ahh yes I get what you mean! I think this is why I prefer meeting in clubs, I can just turn up when I'm feeling sociable. I'd hate to have to cancel a meet because I can't stand the sight of people that day |
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"Thought I'd pop back in and say hi to the old and new crew! Hope you've all been well.
Kitty
Good to see you are still around Kitty x
Ah thank you. Hope you're well?? X
All good and medicated
Wonderful! Feeling better for it? X"
I feel different if that makes sense? I am still me, but able to...concentrate?
|
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"Thought I'd pop back in and say hi to the old and new crew! Hope you've all been well.
Kitty
Good to see you are still around Kitty x
Ah thank you. Hope you're well?? X
All good and medicated
Wonderful! Feeling better for it? X
I feel different if that makes sense? I am still me, but able to...concentrate?
"
Yay |
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"Hello there!
Are all you neurodiverse/neurospicy people well and doing good?"
Hey! Back to my old profile but life is better than it has been the past few years so can't complain much
How are you? Still on your spiritual journey?
Kitty |
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By (user no longer on site) 46 weeks ago
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"Hello there!
Are all you neurodiverse/neurospicy people well and doing good?
Hey! Back to my old profile but life is better than it has been the past few years so can't complain much
How are you? Still on your spiritual journey?
Kitty "
Oh that's great!  . That fills me with joy to hear that . I'm okay thanks lovely. Figuring out more about myself and have got some things to work on, but in all I'm good x. Ha, still on it for sure. Just been making notes on my phone of some pic ideas to go and snap when the moment is right, as I need/want to add more spice to my fab pic collection . Not got much uploaded pics at the moment. Maybe I'll even start to add little videos if I'm feeling daring lol, but the last time I had the courage to do it, the video file was too big and it didn't work |
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"Hello there!
Are all you neurodiverse/neurospicy people well and doing good?
Hey! Back to my old profile but life is better than it has been the past few years so can't complain much
How are you? Still on your spiritual journey?
Kitty
Oh that's great! . That fills me with joy to hear that . I'm okay thanks lovely. Figuring out more about myself and have got some things to work on, but in all I'm good x. Ha, still on it for sure. Just been making notes on my phone of some pic ideas to go and snap when the moment is right, as I need/want to add more spice to my fab pic collection . Not got much uploaded pics at the moment. Maybe I'll even start to add little videos if I'm feeling daring lol, but the last time I had the courage to do it, the video file was too big and it didn't work "
Glad you're well ooh plotting new pic ideas sounds fun! Well that's just typical with the size of the file! That would happen to me too good luck with your next attempt haha. |
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I've just had an assessment with Genius Within and got my scores., after going through 85 questions.
Can anyone translate those numbers into a condition/label as they wouldn't commit to a formal diagnosis? What does this sound like?
(all scores out of 5)
Spoken language 2.7
Literacy skills 3.0
Numeracy 1.0
Reading concentration 2.9
Self organising 0.6
Memory 1.8
Motion and balance 3.8
Dexterity 2.8
Visual skills 3
Creativity 4
Social interaction 1.9
Emotions 2.8
Sensory needs 2.5 |
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"Doesn’t look very spiky.
Although would be wary of any diagnosis/label from 85 questions, proper assessment's would take a lot longer"
I know in the general scheme of things it's borderline, but passwords, the ones that only display dots on the screen are a nightmare for me, as is trying to remember numbers, even my own, is bad.
School exams didn't like notes in the exam room as that was seen as cheating. |
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First time posting to these threads and I (Monkey) guess the beginning of a journey. My daughter was just diagnosed with Autism and people have often said it about me. Reading around the subject and gaining a better understanding of neurodiversity and neurodivergence is making me want to be tested. I think Lulu may also be ND too.
So I'd love to hear from folks with first hand experience , what is the best route to a diagnosis. I understand NHS waiting lists are long. What is the cost of private? Are there any support resources that anyone has used? Any social (haha) groups?
Maybe some swinging ND friends would be good.
Not sure what exactly I'm here for but would love to hear from people further on the journey than us... |
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If you are going private make sure it is accredited with your local NHS to give diagnosis. Same applies for children as waiting list for those also long. Some local authorities only accept diagnosis from certain private assessors, can be disappointed to not get EHCP if assessment not from one of the approved providers |
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"I had to explain to my assessor that having bad (Short term) memory is a bad thing. How can this ever be an advantage? I'm confused.
When being interviewed under caution? 🤣"
Fair cop: spoken like a politician. |
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