FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Time wasters = no public face pic
Time wasters = no public face pic
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So I am begining to see a pattern here.
All the meets I've been let down on ( only just realised) don't show any face pics.
I get some like to stay incognito to a point but people have to make a choice.
If your in your in. We are all here for the same reasons so nobody ( I would like to think) would out anyone they recognise.
Has anyone else seen this pattern?
Could just be I'm old and ugly lol |
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I'm in, but I wouldn't want my family to find out, or for my reputation in the vanilla community to take a hit. (My sex life has nothing to do with my voluntary work, but many don't see things that way) |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
I don't share face pictures for personal reasons. I tend to prefer a very quick social meet first (and when I am meeting it's mostly in clubs tbh).
I've been messed around by those with and those without pictures.
People are people and they flake or get cold feet, or they get off on the build-up but not the actual meeting - it happens, I don't think you can get worked up about it nor do I think things like pictures or verifications are a good way to tell.
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"You mean on profile pic , profile of being sent ?on profile or in the public view album."
Also, people have been hassled in public for being on Fab - particularly women. Maybe I want a flat white or constipation medication without someone asking me about my last gangbang? |
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When I had to out myself to my boss so thr obsessive fucker on here couldn't hold that threat over me, my boss said if I keep my face and actual name off then HR can't even think about touching me.
So if that makes me a time waster, at least I'm an employed one  |
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"I'm in, but I wouldn't want my family to find out, or for my reputation in the vanilla community to take a hit. (My sex life has nothing to do with my voluntary work, but many don't see things that way)"
but do you share a face pic before your meeting?
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"I'm in, but I wouldn't want my family to find out, or for my reputation in the vanilla community to take a hit. (My sex life has nothing to do with my voluntary work, but many don't see things that way) but do you share a face pic before your meeting?"
Yes. It's not a guarantee, though - and you seem to be saying that people should have public pictures up to be real. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You mean on profile pic , profile of being sent ?on profile or in the public view album."
We don’t but have many verifications that speak for them selves, these are way more important then face pics to engage with a profile
Choose carefully and always read the profile  |
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Interesting insight here. And I do understand why people don't provide for personal reasons... what I'm trying to get is...if you don't share public. At what point do you show your face....I'm getting to a point now. Why meet for coffee. I can get that at home. Without getting ready. |
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"Interesting insight here. And I do understand why people don't provide for personal reasons... what I'm trying to get is...if you don't share public. At what point do you show your face....I'm getting to a point now. Why meet for coffee. I can get that at home. Without getting ready."
I meet for coffee to get a feel for someone under circumstances where I'm less vulnerable.
I'd rather figure out someone is a bunny boiler in daylight in a cafe/pub with lots of people and exits, not naked in a bedroom. If it's all the same  |
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"I'm in, but I wouldn't want my family to find out, or for my reputation in the vanilla community to take a hit. (My sex life has nothing to do with my voluntary work, but many don't see things that way) but do you share a face pic before your meeting?
Yes. It's not a guarantee, though - and you seem to be saying that people should have public pictures up to be real. "
That probably my thinking...if you share then your more commited to the meet...I also understand cold feet but usually get a message with an excuse for that. |
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"Interesting insight here. And I do understand why people don't provide for personal reasons... what I'm trying to get is...if you don't share public. At what point do you show your face....I'm getting to a point now. Why meet for coffee. I can get that at home. Without getting ready.
I meet for coffee to get a feel for someone under circumstances where I'm less vulnerable.
I'd rather figure out someone is a bunny boiler in daylight in a cafe/pub with lots of people and exits, not naked in a bedroom. If it's all the same "
can't agree with you more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting insight here. And I do understand why people don't provide for personal reasons... what I'm trying to get is...if you don't share public. At what point do you show your face....I'm getting to a point now. Why meet for coffee. I can get that at home. Without getting ready.
I meet for coffee to get a feel for someone under circumstances where I'm less vulnerable.
I'd rather figure out someone is a bunny boiler in daylight in a cafe/pub with lots of people and exits, not naked in a bedroom. If it's all the same "
I never boil bunnies it cruel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't have face pics on my profile, not even on friends only. I also don't tend to send them to someone I'm chatting with, even if they ask. If we are arranging to meet then yes I usually do, not always tho. I've had meets where neither of us have swapped face pics beforehand.
Like to think I aren't a time waster tho. I'll either delete or not reply if not interested. If we are chatting and I doubt we will meet I'll say, some happy to chat still whilst others disappear x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm in, but I wouldn't want my family to find out, or for my reputation in the vanilla community to take a hit. (My sex life has nothing to do with my voluntary work, but many don't see things that way)"
Exactly this (except not voluntary work but meeting with other consultants, barristers and clients who may take a different view to working with me in the future). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I use to have public face pics but removed them due to the amount of messages I get from optimistic people that are close by , or pic collectors , if they actually managed to read the sarcastic profile they would know I only do club meets |
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"I use to have public face pics but removed them due to the amount of messages I get from optimistic people that are close by , or pic collectors , if they actually managed to read the sarcastic profile they would know I only do club meets"
It's bad enough to have people message that I'm "always on who's nearby" let alone without face pictures.
(Obviously that feature is now off, but that's why it's off) |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"When I had to out myself to my boss so thr obsessive fucker on here couldn't hold that threat over me, my boss said if I keep my face and actual name off then HR can't even think about touching me.
So if that makes me a time waster, at least I'm an employed one "
Yep. I was outed to the company I worked for over a decade ago. Global blue chip multi-national and I had a reputational disrepute clause in my contract so could have been a major issue and guaranteed dismissal.
Fortunately I'm not daft. Never had any photos identifying me on here and any face pic we've ever sent has been fully clothed and 100% vanilla, but not one we've used elsewhere on social media to stop fuckwits reverse image searching it to try and find us on Facey.
It's honestly not hard to separate Fab life from real life if you're sensible and yet still manage to engage with others.
A |
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People do out others, it's a free to use site and not everyone is here for the same reason.
I would advise anyone whose job, relationships, family of public reputation could be harmed by their swinging activities being made public to keep their face pictures private. Also when sending face pictures make it one you could show your mum and never use pictures on here that you've published elsewhere |
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I don't show face pics publicly for a whole variety of reasons.
Mainly I don't want random weirdos on here knowing what I look like if I have no intention of meeting them.
I always meet for a social first at a coffee shop before arranging anything further. Sometimes I've shared a face pic before the social other times I haven't. Sometimes I've received a face pic before meeting other times I haven't.
I haven't seen any correlation between not sharing a face pic and being a timewaster |
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There are others who have nothing on there profile (which is absolutely fair enough btw) but insist you have one on your profile or send them one in your 1st message.. then point blank refuse to send one back either… that’s a bit weird.. |
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"I must be a time waster then cos I have no public face pic"
Same here. It's easy for a man to have a face pic on show. Nobody would call him a "slut", "whore" or other colourful names just because he chooses to enjoy his sex life. It's very different for women. Also, I don't want every Tom, Dick and Harry to know how I look like. |
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"When I had to out myself to my boss so thr obsessive fucker on here couldn't hold that threat over me, my boss said if I keep my face and actual name off then HR can't even think about touching me.
So if that makes me a time waster, at least I'm an employed one
Yep. I was outed to the company I worked for over a decade ago. Global blue chip multi-national and I had a reputational disrepute clause in my contract so could have been a major issue and guaranteed dismissal.
Fortunately I'm not daft. Never had any photos identifying me on here and any face pic we've ever sent has been fully clothed and 100% vanilla, but not one we've used elsewhere on social media to stop fuckwits reverse image searching it to try and find us on Facey.
It's honestly not hard to separate Fab life from real life if you're sensible and yet still manage to engage with others.
A"
This is quite disturbing really and big brother ISH. People's private life and work life are two different things. People could be doing the same stuff and not be on here! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are others who have nothing on there profile (which is absolutely fair enough btw) but insist you have one on your profile or send them one in your 1st message.. then point blank refuse to send one back either… that’s a bit weird.."
There just there to collect pictures, they have absolutely no intention of a physical meet |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"So I am begining to see a pattern here.
All the meets I've been let down on ( only just realised) don't show any face pics.
I get some like to stay incognito to a point but people have to make a choice.
If your in your in. We are all here for the same reasons so nobody ( I would like to think) would out anyone they recognise.
Has anyone else seen this pattern?
Could just be I'm old and ugly lol "
It's my choice.
If someone doesn't like that, then tough. |
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"I don't have face pics on my profile, not even on friends only. I also don't tend to send them to someone I'm chatting with, even if they ask. If we are arranging to meet then yes I usually do, not always tho. I've had meets where neither of us have swapped face pics beforehand.
Like to think I aren't a time waster tho. I'll either delete or not reply if not interested. If we are chatting and I doubt we will meet I'll say, some happy to chat still whilst others disappear x"
I am exactly the same. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"There are others who have nothing on there profile (which is absolutely fair enough btw) but insist you have one on your profile or send them one in your 1st message.. then point blank refuse to send one back either… that’s a bit weird.."
Don't engage with blank profiles. Simple.
Why anyone would message someone when they have no idea what they look like (even from the neck down) is beyond me.
The odds on finding attraction are small enough when photos are available, let alone when you're playing blind date. 
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I am begining to see a pattern here.
All the meets I've been let down on ( only just realised) don't show any face pics.
I get some like to stay incognito to a point but people have to make a choice.
If your in your in. We are all here for the same reasons so nobody ( I would like to think) would out anyone they recognise.
Has anyone else seen this pattern?
Could just be I'm old and ugly lol "
I keep myself private due to my job, but face pics are on friends photos |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't have public face photos. Our verifications are a pretty good indication that we're not timewasters.
Before putting no public pics down as the sole reason for your no-shows/let downs, look at any other common denominators in the profiles and your interactions. Do your due diligence.
And ultimately, if you don't want to meet those who don't share face photos - publicly or otherwise - then don't. It's not compulsory, the choice is yours to make. |
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I have no face pics and always meet for a social before deciding whether to meet again for more.
If I'm a time waster then so be it - I spend time with a fair few other time wasters and have a blast doing so! The joy of this type of site is that everyone can find their own way to use it that works for them, which is what I've done.
Hope you find a way that works well for you OP. |
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Mind you I've just seen this..
If you have been on here and it’s a year plus and no veri by any forms then please pass me by…… block button awaits
This from a profile whose been on over a year and no veris on hers!  |
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I've known women being followed home just because they had face pic public.Always by men,thinking they want sex with anyone just because they are on here.
People can show has much or has little has they like.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I've known women being followed home just because they had face pic public.Always by men,thinking they want sex with anyone just because they are on here.
People can show has much or has little has they like.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I am begining to see a pattern here.
All the meets I've been let down on ( only just realised) don't show any face pics.
I get some like to stay incognito to a point but people have to make a choice.
If your in your in. We are all here for the same reasons so nobody ( I would like to think) would out anyone they recognise.
Has anyone else seen this pattern?
Could just be I'm old and ugly lol "
There are some that would out others and have had it done to me and my ex wife, after a screenshot of our first profile did it's rounds around all the local pubs in our hometown we soon changed our views on public face pics |
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"When I had to out myself to my boss so thr obsessive fucker on here couldn't hold that threat over me, my boss said if I keep my face and actual name off then HR can't even think about touching me.
So if that makes me a time waster, at least I'm an employed one "
That's absolutely awful. What a disgusting thing for someone to do to you. I'd hate having to tell my manager my personal business because of threats like that. |
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"When I had to out myself to my boss so thr obsessive fucker on here couldn't hold that threat over me, my boss said if I keep my face and actual name off then HR can't even think about touching me.
So if that makes me a time waster, at least I'm an employed one
That's absolutely awful. What a disgusting thing for someone to do to you. I'd hate having to tell my manager my personal business because of threats like that. "
I think the threat is fairly common.
I used to get messages frequently saying things like "oh you naughty girl (they'd guess my name), what would happen if I told our boss what you get up to on your off time? I'll never look at you in the office the same way again" Often with an implication I could... make it worth their while not to tell.
I'm self employed and work from home, so it's never been a huge issue for me, but it's an implicit threat |
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By *eastXMan
over a year ago
London |
Sharing a face pic is a personal choice regarding the level of engagement any person should consider on this platform.
I struggled a bit when I started using Fab as many people wants my pic to be published and public, which doesn't work for me.
However, once I built up my verifications it became less of an issue. |
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"When I had to out myself to my boss so thr obsessive fucker on here couldn't hold that threat over me, my boss said if I keep my face and actual name off then HR can't even think about touching me.
So if that makes me a time waster, at least I'm an employed one "
I would think that what you do in your personal life is your own business and not of the company you work for, as long as you do not display or mention the companies name. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"When I had to out myself to my boss so thr obsessive fucker on here couldn't hold that threat over me, my boss said if I keep my face and actual name off then HR can't even think about touching me.
So if that makes me a time waster, at least I'm an employed one
I would think that what you do in your personal life is your own business and not of the company you work for, as long as you do not display or mention the companies name."
Doesn't work like that.
I used to work with high net worth clients and companies that made the business lots of money. Some of those people and entities would have looked down on swinging as a lifestyle choice and by association (had they known about my choices) the company I worked for, potentially losing them business and custom.
Similarly I've know people working in education who would have been hounded out by angry parent.
So just because you're doing nothing wrong it doesn't mean that others see it that way. You can't control the views of others and it is perfectly possible to lose your job should you be outed, despite what many will claim.
A |
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"So I am begining to see a pattern here.
All the meets I've been let down on ( only just realised) don't show any face pics.
I get some like to stay incognito to a point but people have to make a choice.
If your in your in. We are all here for the same reasons so nobody ( I would like to think) would out anyone they recognise.
Has anyone else seen this pattern?
Could just be I'm old and ugly lol "
Why do people always claim that we are all here for the same reasons? It's pretty obvious that we're not.
I've had my facepic shared with others a number of times on here so as a result I don't have facepics here. |
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"When I had to out myself to my boss so thr obsessive fucker on here couldn't hold that threat over me, my boss said if I keep my face and actual name off then HR can't even think about touching me.
So if that makes me a time waster, at least I'm an employed one
I would think that what you do in your personal life is your own business and not of the company you work for, as long as you do not display or mention the companies name.
Doesn't work like that.
I used to work with high net worth clients and companies that made the business lots of money. Some of those people and entities would have looked down on swinging as a lifestyle choice and by association (had they known about my choices) the company I worked for, potentially losing them business and custom.
Similarly I've know people working in education who would have been hounded out by angry parent.
So just because you're doing nothing wrong it doesn't mean that others see it that way. You can't control the views of others and it is perfectly possible to lose your job should you be outed, despite what many will claim.
A"
Ok, I see your point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't have one on my profile, or for public viewing. I have them in my friends album though and if I feel compatibility then will add people or send them via message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ll happily send a face pic once we’ve started chatting snd potentially meeting but I think it’s unacceptable to demand a face pic in the first message if you don’t show yours! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t have face pics on public and a lot of people don’t.
I don’t fancy abuse from random strangers in the street.
Or for it to affect me professionally.
If you don’t like it I don’t much care. "
Totally get where you’re coming from
The question I have is - do you demand face pics |
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"When I had to out myself to my boss so thr obsessive fucker on here couldn't hold that threat over me, my boss said if I keep my face and actual name off then HR can't even think about touching me.
So if that makes me a time waster, at least I'm an employed one
That's absolutely awful. What a disgusting thing for someone to do to you. I'd hate having to tell my manager my personal business because of threats like that.
I think the threat is fairly common.
I used to get messages frequently saying things like "oh you naughty girl (they'd guess my name), what would happen if I told our boss what you get up to on your off time? I'll never look at you in the office the same way again" Often with an implication I could... make it worth their while not to tell.
I'm self employed and work from home, so it's never been a huge issue for me, but it's an implicit threat"
This one knew exactly where I worked and my bosses name. I don't give a shit about someone just trying to threaten me when they have nothing actually on me.
Unfortunately, while I'm not in direct contact with any of our clients, we do make our money from the sort of people who would be absolutely appalled by how I choose to spend my free time. So I do what I need to to stay on the right side of HR.
So, I don't send face pics unless I'm absolutely comfortable to do so. If that's a deal breaker for someone, it's a simple incompatibility and we can both just move on. Since I pretty much exclusively meet new people at clubs these days it's not shown to be an issue for me. |
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"I don’t have face pics on public and a lot of people don’t.
I don’t fancy abuse from random strangers in the street.
Or for it to affect me professionally.
If you don’t like it I don’t much care.
Totally get where you’re coming from
The question I have is - do you demand face pics"
If I was going to meet someone absolutely yes but in that situation I would send my face pic
I quite often send it privately but would never dream of putting it public |
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By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire/Northwest |
"So I am begining to see a pattern here.
All the meets I've been let down on ( only just realised) don't show any face pics.
I get some like to stay incognito to a point but people have to make a choice.
If your in your in. We are all here for the same reasons so nobody ( I would like to think) would out anyone they recognise.
Has anyone else seen this pattern?
Could just be I'm old and ugly lol "
Wow we must be fake then, all the fun we have had never happened..must of imagined it all 
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By *eanorWoman
over a year ago
? |
I don’t show my face on public photos as i was compromised a year ago , someone i use to work with recognised me , i turned him down politely, but he opened his mouth and it got back to my current work  |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
I don't have my face on public show as I don't want to advertise the fact I'm on a swingers site for various reasons but, I do send them in messages or if approaced via message. To say that anybody without their face on show on a public photo are a bit naive and or ignorant of othe peoples lives. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You mean on profile pic , profile of being sent ?on profile or in the public view album."
That's me...total time waster...
If that's your criteria, then by all means use it to choose who you meet...don't tar everyone with the same brush...everyone runs their profiles in the way they wish to for their own reasons... |
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"I must be a time waster then cos I have no public face pic"
no not at all but then again you have no verifications or any record of a meet ..only pointing something out from the man's point of view
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
It's not a pattern I've never noticed on here. I don't have a public face pic and it takes me a long time to decide to share a face pic as well. If you seriously think op that people aren't outed on here by others you are very naive because it does happen the same as sharing info happens on here about others. It's not right or fair but it happens.
As for meeting for coffee I always meet for a coffee and chat before I take things farther because just because you get on chatting on here does not mean it will be the same when you meet.
But that's the way I do my fab journey you like everyone else are free to use the site whichever way you find works best for you. It would be boring if we all thought the same way.  |
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"I don't have my face on public show as I don't want to advertise the fact I'm on a swingers site for various reasons but, I do send them in messages or if approaced via message. To say that anybody without their face on show on a public photo are a bit naive and or ignorant of othe peoples lives."
This ^^^^^^
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
"I don't have my face on public show as I don't want to advertise the fact I'm on a swingers site for various reasons but, I do send them in messages or if approaced via message. To say that anybody without their face on show on a public photo are a bit naive and or ignorant of othe peoples lives."
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I do have a face pic or two on my profile but they are kept private for obvious reasons. I do send privately once I have exchanged a few messages with someone. It does irritate me that some profiles request face pics but make it clear that they won’t share their own. Personally I’d rather meet people who play by the same rules. |
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Generally, a good indication is having several verifications from meeting people. Many people don't have public face pics due to needing a little discretion... some people work in jobs where being publicly identified could be problematic, others may just not want their mum, kids, neighbour, etc know that they're enjoying gangbangs or watersports.
Cal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don’t have any face pics and wouldn’t share any either, as once they are shared we have no control of how they are used. We have varying factors that contribute to us requiring a modicum
of discretion, so a social meet would be a better option for us after a rapport/connection has been established.
Not everyone on this site is here for the same reasons and some user’s intentions are not necessarily aligned with the spirit of Fab. So that is quite a poor generalisation.
T
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By *rMs.NeekCouple
over a year ago
Worcestershire |
"You mean on profile pic , profile of being sent ?on profile or in the public view album."
We are not timewasters but don't have photos available due to privacy needed for our work. I'm sure many others are the same |
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
We have face pics in our friends only, but we only add people we want to meet.
We expect anyone that messages to send a recent face & full body pic. Don’t often entertain chatting until we’ve seen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I am begining to see a pattern here.
All the meets I've been let down on ( only just realised) don't show any face pics.
I get some like to stay incognito to a point but people have to make a choice.
If your in your in. We are all here for the same reasons so nobody ( I would like to think) would out anyone they recognise.
Has anyone else seen this pattern?
Could just be I'm old and ugly lol "
We don't have any face pics on our profile, public or friends only. We only share face pics via message once we feel comfortable with whoever we are chatting to. Doesn't mean we are time wasters, it means we are making sure people are genuine
Mrs |
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"I don't share face pictures for personal reasons. I tend to prefer a very quick social meet first (and when I am meeting it's mostly in clubs tbh).
I've been messed around by those with and those without pictures.
People are people and they flake or get cold feet, or they get off on the build-up but not the actual meeting - it happens, I don't think you can get worked up about it nor do I think things like pictures or verifications are a good way to tell.
"
100% agree |
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