FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > "Not interested in Married Men or those in a relationship"
"Not interested in Married Men or those in a relationship"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just wondering, but have seen the above statement on many profiles and thought, how about a bit of clarification? As most who have been swinging for a while, we have been stung by cheating males and females over the years, but still believe that playing with one half of a couple is fine as long as that couple give each other permission to play singly...
So is the statement to simply stop cheaters or to find a potential relationship??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can it not mean that I'd rather just meet with singles as I define them.
Not attached but other half knows/doesn't know. Has a fb that has to be at the meet etc.
I am a little shocked you think that because I dont want to meet with (for want of a better term) 'attached singles' that I am looking for a relationship.... 
It actually means I do not want to get involved with relationships, one of my own or anyone elses.
The world is a little more than black and white, so a warm welcome to shades  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm married & swinging on my own.
YES my wife knows, she has dipped her toes in to the water but decided it wasn't for her at this time.
She suggested that I have that kind of fun on my own. Maybe one day she will want to try again, this was also her words.
This does however hinder my meets from time to time. As some choose not to meet people in relationships.
But hey ho, each to their own. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can it not mean that I'd rather just meet with singles as I define them.
Not attached but other half knows/doesn't know. Has a fb that has to be at the meet etc.
I am a little shocked you think that because I dont want to meet with (for want of a better term) 'attached singles' that I am looking for a relationship....
It actually means I do not want to get involved with relationships, one of my own or anyone elses.
The world is a little more than black and white, so a warm welcome to shades "
I was no t attacking anyone, nor looking to cause offence - it was just that as part of a couple with time on my hands, it was a tad frustrating to keep coming across the - No married Men - phrase. Everyone is entitled to thier preference, but maybe it could be changed to - No lying cheating twats but if you have full permission of your partner to play single, then say Hi -  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i dont meet married men even if they are one half of a swinging couple and their wife knows they meet alone
Thats just my choice
Im not after a relationship at all, i dont only meet guys who are single cause im hoping something more will come from it, i just prefer not to meet attached guys being that cheating ones or ones whos wife knows |
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I rarely meet attached men because of previous experiences. I have been caught in the middle of deteriorating relationships and it's not a comfortable place to be.
So even when the other half knows and is happy I prefer not to.
It's a case of once (more than) bitten twice shy. Perhaps I am judging on the behaviour of others but that is my prerogative. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I rarely meet attached men because of previous experiences. I have been caught in the middle of deteriorating relationships and it's not a comfortable place to be.
So even when the other half knows and is happy I prefer not to.
It's a case of once (more than) bitten twice shy. Perhaps I am judging on the behaviour of others but that is my prerogative."
ive been there two
Had women say its ok for me to meet their hubby then get come back from it after because it turns out she wasnt happy with it at all
Ive also had women say they need to talk to me on the phone before i meet their hubby, which im not prepaired to do, why do i need to talk to someone im not meeting, what does it matter if she likes me or not its not her im meeting?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are supposed to be swingers so who cares about a persons status as long as you get on with them n like them just play and have fun "
some of us care I wouldn't want to be a home wrecker |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are supposed to be swingers so who cares about a persons status as long as you get on with them n like them just play and have fun "
It's not just a case of there status though its all the shit that can come with it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Theres are loads of genuine single guys on here i dont need to go thro the hassle of meeting a married one
And sometimes it is hassle
"
Exactly..!!
Why bother when there is genuine single guys - Not cheating men.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are supposed to be swingers so who cares about a persons status as long as you get on with them n like them just play and have fun "
i suppose that really depends on what the word 'swinger' means to you |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
Its all down to choice ...if someone doesnt want to meet me because i'm married (albeit the good lady is on this site too) then so be it will make a change from them not wanting to meet me because i'm an ugly bassa  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Theres are loads of genuine single guys on here i dont need to go thro the hassle of meeting a married one
And sometimes it is hassle
Exactly..!!
Why bother when there is genuine single guys - Not cheating men.."
But some are genuine attached & not cheating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Theres are loads of genuine single guys on here i dont need to go thro the hassle of meeting a married one
And sometimes it is hassle
Exactly..!!
Why bother when there is genuine single guys - Not cheating men..
But some are genuine attached & not cheating. "
Yeh "some" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Theres are loads of genuine single guys on here i dont need to go thro the hassle of meeting a married one
And sometimes it is hassle
Exactly..!!
Why bother when there is genuine single guys - Not cheating men..
But some are genuine attached & not cheating. "
but still id rather meet a single guy its just preference  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Theres are loads of genuine single guys on here i dont need to go thro the hassle of meeting a married one
And sometimes it is hassle
Exactly..!!
Why bother when there is genuine single guys - Not cheating men..
But some are genuine attached & not cheating. "
i still wouldnt meet them
I know there are couples on here who meet alone too etc but even if their wifes knew they met i still wouldnt be interested, i dont meet couples i dont meet one half of couples |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is horrible to be on the receiving end of cheaters. I think more peopke would think twice if they have had it done to them and the hurt after it.
Fruit x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Theres are loads of genuine single guys on here i dont need to go thro the hassle of meeting a married one
And sometimes it is hassle
Exactly..!!
Why bother when there is genuine single guys - Not cheating men..
But some are genuine attached & not cheating.
Yeh "some""
But sadly for the "some" we are treated as cheats. The "some" are probably quite honest about their relationships, however, I bet if a married man "cheating" was in a club, people would play with him without worrying if they're cheating or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Theres are loads of genuine single guys on here i dont need to go thro the hassle of meeting a married one
And sometimes it is hassle
 "
yeah i can agree with that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is horrible to be on the receiving end of cheaters. I think more peopke would think twice if they have had it done to them and the hurt after it.
Fruit x"
Been cheated on by my ex wife & so called best mate, hurt like mad.
Totally up front with my wife, 11 years & still going strong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Theres are loads of genuine single guys on here i dont need to go thro the hassle of meeting a married one
And sometimes it is hassle
Exactly..!!
Why bother when there is genuine single guys - Not cheating men..
But some are genuine attached & not cheating.
Yeh "some"
But sadly for the "some" we are treated as cheats. The "some" are probably quite honest about their relationships, however, I bet if a married man "cheating" was in a club, people would play with him without worrying if they're cheating or not. "
I'll be honest in a club i dont ask, i dont care, i go to a club, have sex and go home, they dont have my name or phone number so there is no come back, how many people on here would meet you without a phone number etc?
If people know personal things about me such as name and number etc im more careful and i dont want someones wife calling me up giving me greif, that wouldnt happen at a club |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Theres are loads of genuine single guys on here i dont need to go thro the hassle of meeting a married one
And sometimes it is hassle
Exactly..!!
Why bother when there is genuine single guys - Not cheating men..
But some are genuine attached & not cheating.
Yeh "some"
But sadly for the "some" we are treated as cheats. The "some" are probably quite honest about their relationships, however, I bet if a married man "cheating" was in a club, people would play with him without worrying if they're cheating or not.
I'll be honest in a club i dont ask, i dont care, i go to a club, have sex and go home, they dont have my name or phone number so there is no come back, how many people on here would meet you without a phone number etc?
If people know personal things about me such as name and number etc im more careful and i dont want someones wife calling me up giving me greif, that wouldnt happen at a club"
Surely that's double standards?
You said you won't meet married/attached men as you dont need the hassle. That's ok as its all about personal choice.
But you then say you'll happily have sex with a married guy at a club. Seems like double standards to me.
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"Theres are loads of genuine single guys on here i dont need to go thro the hassle of meeting a married one
And sometimes it is hassle
Exactly..!!
Why bother when there is genuine single guys - Not cheating men..
But some are genuine attached & not cheating.
Yeh "some"
But sadly for the "some" we are treated as cheats. The "some" are probably quite honest about their relationships, however, I bet if a married man "cheating" was in a club, people would play with him without worrying if they're cheating or not. "
But saying 'thanks but I don't play with attached no matter what your situation' is not accusing them/you of anything, it's simply stating my preference.
I also prefer to play with men 6ft or over. By saying no thanks I prefer taller am I being offensive or simply stating a preference?
Yes, my preference is based on experience. But why should it be seen as an attack or a judgement any more than my preference for tall men? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Theres are loads of genuine single guys on here i dont need to go thro the hassle of meeting a married one
And sometimes it is hassle
Exactly..!!
Why bother when there is genuine single guys - Not cheating men..
But some are genuine attached & not cheating.
Yeh "some"
But sadly for the "some" we are treated as cheats. The "some" are probably quite honest about their relationships, however, I bet if a married man "cheating" was in a club, people would play with him without worrying if they're cheating or not.
I'll be honest in a club i dont ask, i dont care, i go to a club, have sex and go home, they dont have my name or phone number so there is no come back, how many people on here would meet you without a phone number etc?
If people know personal things about me such as name and number etc im more careful and i dont want someones wife calling me up giving me greif, that wouldnt happen at a club
Surely that's double standards?
You said you won't meet married/attached men as you dont need the hassle. That's ok as its all about personal choice.
But you then say you'll happily have sex with a married guy at a club. Seems like double standards to me.
"
why don't people focus on those who don't mind there martial status |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Surely that's double standards?
You said you won't meet married/attached men as you dont need the hassle. That's ok as its all about personal choice.
But you then say you'll happily have sex with a married guy at a club. Seems like double standards to me.
"
whys it double standards, i said i dont want the hassle not i dont agree with men playing away or male halfs of couples meeting alone, if i meet a guy in a club i dont get any hassle, if i meet married guys on here i have had hassle before so i avoid it, i dont see how thats double standards at all??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Surely that's double standards?
You said you won't meet married/attached men as you dont need the hassle. That's ok as its all about personal choice.
But you then say you'll happily have sex with a married guy at a club. Seems like double standards to me.
whys it double standards, i said i dont want the hassle not i dont agree with men playing away or male halfs of couples meeting alone, if i meet a guy in a club i dont get any hassle, if i meet married guys on here i have had hassle before so i avoid it, i dont see how thats double standards at all???"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Theres are loads of genuine single guys on here i dont need to go thro the hassle of meeting a married one
And sometimes it is hassle
Exactly..!!
Why bother when there is genuine single guys - Not cheating men..
But some are genuine attached & not cheating.
Yeh "some"
But sadly for the "some" we are treated as cheats. The "some" are probably quite honest about their relationships, however, I bet if a married man "cheating" was in a club, people would play with him without worrying if they're cheating or not.
But saying 'thanks but I don't play with attached no matter what your situation' is not accusing them/you of anything, it's simply stating my preference.
I also prefer to play with men 6ft or over. By saying no thanks I prefer taller am I being offensive or simply stating a preference?
Yes, my preference is based on experience. But why should it be seen as an attack or a judgement any more than my preference for tall men?"
That's a shame cause I'm only 5'10!! Lol.
We all have preferences, that's why everyone is different. Nothing wrong with that.
I don't understand if a guy has permission to play, why the reluctance. Surely if someone is looking for NSA sex there is more chance of a single guy getting a bit clingy than a married guy with permission? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Theres are loads of genuine single guys on here i dont need to go thro the hassle of meeting a married one
And sometimes it is hassle
Exactly..!!
Why bother when there is genuine single guys - Not cheating men..
But some are genuine attached & not cheating.
Yeh "some"
But sadly for the "some" we are treated as cheats. The "some" are probably quite honest about their relationships, however, I bet if a married man "cheating" was in a club, people would play with him without worrying if they're cheating or not.
But saying 'thanks but I don't play with attached no matter what your situation' is not accusing them/you of anything, it's simply stating my preference.
I also prefer to play with men 6ft or over. By saying no thanks I prefer taller am I being offensive or simply stating a preference?
Yes, my preference is based on experience. But why should it be seen as an attack or a judgement any more than my preference for tall men?
That's a shame cause I'm only 5'10!! Lol.
We all have preferences, that's why everyone is different. Nothing wrong with that.
I don't understand if a guy has permission to play, why the reluctance. Surely if someone is looking for NSA sex there is more chance of a single guy getting a bit clingy than a married guy with permission? "
some married men can get clingy too I believe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We are supposed to be swingers so who cares about a persons status as long as you get on with them n like them just play and have fun
i suppose that really depends on what the word 'swinger' means to you"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I don't understand if a guy has permission to play, why the reluctance. Surely if someone is looking for NSA sex there is more chance of a single guy getting a bit clingy than a married guy with permission?
some married men can get clingy too I believe"
also as i have already stated and another woman has said she has also had, sometimes a woman will say its ok to meet her fella then after you get greif from them, seems not all women are as happy for you to meet their hubbies as they say they are they just go along with it to keep their fellas happy from what i can see
After ive met a guy i dont want a sob story from their wife |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I don't understand if a guy has permission to play, why the reluctance. Surely if someone is looking for NSA sex there is more chance of a single guy getting a bit clingy than a married guy with permission?
some married men can get clingy too I believe
also as i have already stated and another woman has said she has also had, sometimes a woman will say its ok to meet her fella then after you get greif from them, seems not all women are as happy for you to meet their hubbies as they say they are they just go along with it to keep their fellas happy from what i can see
After ive met a guy i dont want a sob story from their wife "
Yes I can understand that, nobody wants any unnecessary grief.
So, just a hypothetical question. Would you arrange to meet a married man (me lol) from here at a club. Providing no mobile numbers were exchanged?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I don't understand if a guy has permission to play, why the reluctance. Surely if someone is looking for NSA sex there is more chance of a single guy getting a bit clingy than a married guy with permission?
some married men can get clingy too I believe
also as i have already stated and another woman has said she has also had, sometimes a woman will say its ok to meet her fella then after you get greif from them, seems not all women are as happy for you to meet their hubbies as they say they are they just go along with it to keep their fellas happy from what i can see
After ive met a guy i dont want a sob story from their wife
Yes I can understand that, nobody wants any unnecessary grief.
So, just a hypothetical question. Would you arrange to meet a married man (me lol) from here at a club. Providing no mobile numbers were exchanged? "
I might get a chance to suck on those toes then lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I don't understand if a guy has permission to play, why the reluctance. Surely if someone is looking for NSA sex there is more chance of a single guy getting a bit clingy than a married guy with permission?
some married men can get clingy too I believe
also as i have already stated and another woman has said she has also had, sometimes a woman will say its ok to meet her fella then after you get greif from them, seems not all women are as happy for you to meet their hubbies as they say they are they just go along with it to keep their fellas happy from what i can see
After ive met a guy i dont want a sob story from their wife
Yes I can understand that, nobody wants any unnecessary grief.
So, just a hypothetical question. Would you arrange to meet a married man (me lol) from here at a club. Providing no mobile numbers were exchanged?
I might get a chance to suck on those toes then lol "
*tumble* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've got very firm views on this topic which I've expressed in a previous post I started and which some have taken issue with. I don't encourage anyone to cheat. In fact I've got no interest in the marital status of people I meet and I won't raise this in conversations we have prior to meeting.
That said, I only meet adults who I believe have free will, and make their own choices. So if someone gets in touch who floats my boat and somewhere along the line I find out they are married or attached, that will make no difference because they, and they alone are responsible for the conscious choice they have made to seek sexual gratification away from home.
I'm not advocating this for everyone because I know some people have a guilt trip or a tug on their conscience with this, and that is fine. Each to their own. I on the other hand do not see why I should deny myself pleasure when my meeting an attached person has no bearing whatsoever on whether their relationship survives or not. If not me, it will be someone else or a prostitute, but this person will inevitably find sex elsewhere. So, what good has my not meeting them done. Absolutely nothing! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i dont meet married men even if they are one half of a swinging couple and their wife knows they meet alone
Thats just my choice
Im not after a relationship at all, i dont only meet guys who are single cause im hoping something more will come from it, i just prefer not to meet attached guys being that cheating ones or ones whos wife knows"
When I started this thread it was just to make a small point about people maybe could be a bit more specific rather that a blanket "no married's" but it seems the discussion has grown a tad. I have no problem with people who simply have a preference for one thing or another, it is a choice which everyone in the swinging community is entitled to make. All I would ask is that there is a distincyion between the cheats and those that are actual swingers, which means that they can have fun within a loving relationship with other consenting adults.
And by the way, singles are not swingers, just my view ... lol xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
And by the way, singles are not swingers, just my view ... lol xx"
Guess I had better cancel my membership at chams, lc's, partners and the others then
Good job I know a single lady that does singles only parties, else Id be a nun 
It always makes me laugh when couples I know complain that couples only nights are too cliquey and they don't like to go
Anyone know any sluts/slappers clubs for me instead lol.
As the OP 'thinks' Im not a swinger
(not a serious request; I know Im a swinger, have been years, even before I was married and on the scene as a couple Now I'm single Im having much more fun  ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And by the way, singles are not swingers, just my view ... lol xx"
nor mine, i have never called msyelf a swinger and i never will, i just use swinging sites to find men for sex |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Just wondering, but have seen the above statement on many profiles and thought, how about a bit of clarification? As most who have been swinging for a while, we have been stung by cheating males and females over the years, but still believe that playing with one half of a couple is fine as long as that couple give each other permission to play singly...
So is the statement to simply stop cheaters or to find a potential relationship??? "
I have recently put no married or attached men on my profile simply because I get too many let downs from them. Their morals are their concern. They are hardly being faithful by being on here already.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just wondering, but have seen the above statement on many profiles and thought, how about a bit of clarification? As most who have been swinging for a while, we have been stung by cheating males and females over the years, but still believe that playing with one half of a couple is fine as long as that couple give each other permission to play singly...
So is the statement to simply stop cheaters or to find a potential relationship??? "
have it on my profile and i certainly aint looking for a "potential relationship" not on a swinging site. I just prefer single men no baggage and can do things on the spur of the moment without consulting their fbs or wives or partners |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just wondering, but have seen the above statement on many profiles and thought, how about a bit of clarification? As most who have been swinging for a while, we have been stung by cheating males and females over the years, but still believe that playing with one half of a couple is fine as long as that couple give each other permission to play singly...
So is the statement to simply stop cheaters or to find a potential relationship??? "
For me, its to stop people cheating behind their spouses back |
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I choose not to play with 'attached' as I am looking for regular. I don't have kids or a partner infringing on my time...I don't want to be the one sat twiddling my thumbs because he can't get a pass out...
I get frustrated whebn I state on my profile I don't want attached yet I still get messages from married men....I find that quite rude... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've got very firm views on this topic which I've expressed in a previous post I started and which some have taken issue with. I don't encourage anyone to cheat. In fact I've got no interest in the marital status of people I meet and I won't raise this in conversations we have prior to meeting.
That said, I only meet adults who I believe have free will, and make their own choices. So if someone gets in touch who floats my boat and somewhere along the line I find out they are married or attached, that will make no difference because they, and they alone are responsible for the conscious choice they have made to seek sexual gratification away from home.
I'm not advocating this for everyone because I know some people have a guilt trip or a tug on their conscience with this, and that is fine. Each to their own. I on the other hand do not see why I should deny myself pleasure when my meeting an attached person has no bearing whatsoever on whether their relationship survives or not. If not me, it will be someone else or a prostitute, but this person will inevitably find sex elsewhere. So, what good has my not meeting them done. Absolutely nothing!"
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
I was no t attacking anyone, nor looking to cause offence - it was just that as part of a couple with time on my hands, it was a tad frustrating to keep coming across the - No married Men - phrase. Everyone is entitled to thier preference, but maybe it could be changed to - No lying cheating twats but if you have full permission of your partner to play single, then say Hi - "
But when we say we don't play with married men that includes men who are married but the wife knows.
Maybe the profiles you have read mean the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just wondering, but have seen the above statement on many profiles and thought, how about a bit of clarification? As most who have been swinging for a while, we have been stung by cheating males and females over the years, but still believe that playing with one half of a couple is fine as long as that couple give each other permission to play singly...
So is the statement to simply stop cheaters or to find a potential relationship???
For me, its to stop people cheating behind their spouses back"
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Before swinging, I was cheated on, and I wouldn't like to do the same to some other poor woman.
I did have an FB for a while who I thought was single. He worked nights on the railways, so would 'pop' in. Anyway, he did do some disappearing acts on occasion and I got fed up, so I sent a 'dear john ....' email ending the relationship.
I changed my status back to single, when a mutual friend told me he was married. Wasn't upset, it made sense, but I got into a text war, this was on a Sunday night.
Up shot was that on the Monday he contacted my work with the council, told them I'd been bunking work to see him and after months I had to resign.
So that's my reason for wanting to know anyone I play with is single. BTW he's on here now, and he and new fb scurry out the chatrooms when I turn up. Never said a word but he's obviously shitting himself I say something!
I have a brilliant life now and he's stuck in his same crappy job, and you never see him smile with his new fb.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I choose not to play with 'attached' as I am looking for regular. I don't have kids or a partner infringing on my time...I don't want to be the one sat twiddling my thumbs because he can't get a pass out...
I get frustrated whebn I state on my profile I don't want attached yet I still get messages from married men....I find that quite rude..."
same here I just ignore them and, if they message more than once there blocked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i have had a few meets with married men.age ago.one in particular stopped play at a hotel meet to have a chat with his wife who phoned..and doesnt know about his hobby! I felt sooo cheap and nasty.
Not for me anymore thanks. |
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"Just wondering, but have seen the above statement on many profiles and thought, how about a bit of clarification? As most who have been swinging for a while, we have been stung by cheating males and females over the years, but still believe that playing with one half of a couple is fine as long as that couple give each other permission to play singly...
So is the statement to simply stop cheaters or to find a potential relationship??? "
It's just personal preference. I'm happy to meet anyone - it's not for me to tell them how to run their lives.
Others have different views - which I respect. |
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