FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Judgemental people
Judgemental people
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Just looking to vent really and get some honest opinions, to give you some background I’ve been single 6 years ,tried dating apps got fed up of being messed around let down etc so joined here , ideally I’d love one or two regular playmates but as we all know we have no control over whether someone wants to meet again and if they do the frequency , I’m not desperate and don’t just meet anyone, yet in the last 2 days I’ve received judgy messages from guys about the number of veris I have & one even said “so if a good social then I could be fuking the same day” now forgive me for stating the obvious but this isn’t a dating site and I don’t think any guy on here would want to wine dine for weeks on end with no sex or am I missing something here ? In order to find a ‘regular’ that first meet or social has to take place then there are no guarantees that either party wants to meet again , in my experience I’m finding guys want to meet a couple of times then family /kids real life gets in the way and before you know it it’s been months meanwhile I’m left wanting intimacy and more so surely I’m not expected to sit around like a nun waiting incase a guy decides they want to meet again , personally given the 6 years here my veris are few and a lot are repeat meets so |
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Hey sweetest don't take it to heart there are a lot of people who don't understand swinging they just treat this site like a sex site which it isn't we respect the social first it's always been better to connect with a couple than just jump into the sex if people can't respect what you seek then they don't deserve your time and attention to begin with don't apologize for knowing what your after and if people come at you for it just delete and ignore em they were a waste of your time to begin with x |
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By *eanorWoman
over a year ago
? |
Hi ive just read your profile, i hope you dont mind , you’ve said exactly what you want and need right from the start . Straight to the point and truthful, it’s not your fault that people cant read (sorry my sense of humour). DONT LET other people on here put you down they have no right to judge at all . I hope you'll be ok |
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
Sorry you're getting msgs like this OP, just look at it as jelousy you're getting meets, don't let them get you down or change how you do things treat and use fab however you want to whatever works for you, not how others think you should it has nothing to do with anyone else. |
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"Hi ive just read your profile, i hope you dont mind , you’ve said exactly what you want and need right from the start . Straight to the point and truthful, it’s not your fault that people cant read (sorry my sense of humour). DONT LET other people on here put you down they have no right to judge at all . I hope you'll be ok "
Thank you so much x |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
The number of verification isn't important but might be too some which I could never understand because it is the swinging lifestyle and a fwb is something more whereas your able to enjoy other parts of the friendship whether going out for a meal enjoying the company and sexually when you both feel like it and not one sided as for those whom judge don't take it at heart and just block them as you're worthy  |
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"Sorry you're getting msgs like this OP, just look at it as jelousy you're getting meets, don't let them get you down or change how you do things treat and use fab however you want to whatever works for you, not how others think you should it has nothing to do with anyone else."
I wouldn’t mind but I’m not exactly prolific on here lol x |
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"The number of verification isn't important but might be too some which I could never understand because it is the swinging lifestyle and a fwb is something more whereas your able to enjoy other parts of the friendship whether going out for a meal enjoying the company and sexually when you both feel like it and not one sided as for those whom judge don't take it at heart and just block them as you're worthy "
Everyone is entitled to their opinions and preferences but if they find it such a turn off why bother messaging me to tell me so lol |
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"Sorry you're getting msgs like this OP, just look at it as jelousy you're getting meets, don't let them get you down or change how you do things treat and use fab however you want to whatever works for you, not how others think you should it has nothing to do with anyone else.
I wouldn’t mind but I’m not exactly prolific on here lol x"
They're probably sending you stupid messages because they are jealous! |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"The number of verification isn't important but might be too some which I could never understand because it is the swinging lifestyle and a fwb is something more whereas your able to enjoy other parts of the friendship whether going out for a meal enjoying the company and sexually when you both feel like it and not one sided as for those whom judge don't take it at heart and just block them as you're worthy
Everyone is entitled to their opinions and preferences but if they find it such a turn off why bother messaging me to tell me so lol "
You simply can't help the actions of those that find the time to put someone else down... Just keep reminding yourself still are some lovely folk whether found or yet to find |
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I don't get why they're judging you on your veri. The only judgement i had on mine was why just a big time gap (well we spent nearly 2 years in lockdown for a start) ya know if they start giving you lip, block them. They aren't worth your energy. You do whatever you want on fab. See it as a blessing in disguise that they showed their ugly self before even meeting. Great filter
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Haters gonna hate as they say!!!
Concentrate on what makes you happy and ignore the negatives….you deserve happiness so anything that effects that doesn’t deserve your thoughts xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a wise woman once said..
You can be the ripest and juiciest peach but there will still be someone who doesn't like peaches.
You have to do whatever works for you. If people don't like it, then they aren't your people.
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"You could have absolutely nothing at all on your profile and still get abuse from random wankers on here.
Keep your head high, block and report, and keep doing you  "
That’s actually a really good point thanks guys x |
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"I don't get why they're judging you on your veri. The only judgement i had on mine was why just a big time gap (well we spent nearly 2 years in lockdown for a start) ya know if they start giving you lip, block them. They aren't worth your energy. You do whatever you want on fab. See it as a blessing in disguise that they showed their ugly self before even meeting. Great filter
"
Yes you’re right you can’t win on here can you |
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"Haters gonna hate as they say!!!
Concentrate on what makes you happy and ignore the negatives….you deserve happiness so anything that effects that doesn’t deserve your thoughts xx"
That’s a good ethos thank you  |
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"As a wise woman once said..
You can be the ripest and juiciest peach but there will still be someone who doesn't like peaches.
You have to do whatever works for you. If people don't like it, then they aren't your people.
"
Love that thanks so much x |
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We always insist on a social first to and unless it's really something special the is little chance that a play meet would be on the same day just stick to the things that you want and if someone doesn't like it just block them and move on |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
it is a sex site it very much is a sex site but heres the kicker its a sex site for swingers not a free sex on a plate for eveyone...
there are no golden rule for swinging alot of swingers dont and never have done socials just like alot dont use clubs alot do spontaneous meets and alot never meet a guy twice so swinging is a very open book there are no real rules never really have been and those that claim there are rules are up there own arses ...
the only rule are the ones that are yours ... and thats that .. alot wont like that and try to make swinging more of a club to be in but its not and it never will be ... swinging is what you want it to be ...the basics is you enjoy sex with more than one person originally as a couples thing all those years ago and now a everybody thing..
swinging ..noun. the activity or act of a person who swings. Slang. the act or practice of being free and uninhibited sexually. the exchanging of spouses for sex.
so the only rules are your rules
actually id say theres only one rule that we all share and that is no is no the rest is what ever each couple or single makes up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The type of people who want 1 or 2 FWB aren't usually into fucking around with lots of people. So 20+ visible veris might put them off if they want just a couple of regulars.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The type of people who want 1 or 2 FWB aren't usually into fucking around with lots of people. So 20+ visible veris might put them off if they want just a couple of regulars. "
If you look most of those are repeats of a some regular playmates. Which is great if that's what you are looking for.
I really don't care what other narrow minded judgemental idiots think. We get to choose who, when and how we play with someone ... and if someone doesn't respect your boundary for just a social first... they may not respect your boundaries when you play.
Fabulous sexy clear profile. Ignore the idiots and have fun how you want. |
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"The type of people who want 1 or 2 FWB aren't usually into fucking around with lots of people. So 20+ visible veris might put them off if they want just a couple of regulars. "
A lot of my veris are repeat meets with the same person / couple but I’m still looking for regular so until that happens I need to keep meeting to find my regular if that makes sense |
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"The type of people who want 1 or 2 FWB aren't usually into fucking around with lots of people. So 20+ visible veris might put them off if they want just a couple of regulars.
If you look most of those are repeats of a some regular playmates. Which is great if that's what you are looking for.
I really don't care what other narrow minded judgemental idiots think. We get to choose who, when and how we play with someone ... and if someone doesn't respect your boundary for just a social first... they may not respect your boundaries when you play.
Fabulous sexy clear profile. Ignore the idiots and have fun how you want. "
My thoughts exactly thank you x |
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I'm confused! You've only got 26 verifications in 6 years.
How is that a lot especially as some are repeats?
Please ignore the idiots on here. Many are jealous, trolls, keyboard warriors or just haven't grown up yet x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can’t say the amount of verifications someone has makes any difference to us, we look for a fairly recent one if it’s there but that’s it.
Pay no attention to the negative people! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The type of people who want 1 or 2 FWB aren't usually into fucking around with lots of people. So 20+ visible veris might put them off if they want just a couple of regulars.
A lot of my veris are repeat meets with the same person / couple but I’m still looking for regular so until that happens I need to keep meeting to find my regular if that makes sense "
Yes it makes sense.
You can do whatever you like with your profile. I'm just suggesting how some people might see it that's all, as it may put them off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm confused! You've only got 26 verifications in 6 years.
How is that a lot especially as some are repeats?
Please ignore the idiots on here. Many are jealous, trolls, keyboard warriors or just haven't grown up yet x"
Who exactly are you referring to? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't take it to heart.
It's pent up frustration that women on here can get a meet inside a day if they choose to.
While most men can't manage it. Your a beautiful woman and owe no one an explanation to your life |
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OP I wouldn’t worry about what people say about the number of veris. We have basically the same number which is actually quite easy to add up over the years especially if you meet the same people.
That said I do think that people need to reset expectations about “regular” meets - in my experience life gets in the way and a “regular” couple for me can be months between meets. It can just mean that you have a group of people who you like to meet whenever diaries align. That is swinging to me but if others want to get judgmental then f**k em is what I say. |
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Op just ignore them, what veris you have is your own business and tbf 7 are from one person and another 4 from 1 person then duplicates if they'd bothered to look.
Ignore anyone that doesn't like anything about your profile it just shows they aren't for you.
Mrs |
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"I'm confused! You've only got 26 verifications in 6 years.
How is that a lot especially as some are repeats?
Please ignore the idiots on here. Many are jealous, trolls, keyboard warriors or just haven't grown up yet x"
And I 100 percent agree with this |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Just looking to vent really and get some honest opinions, to give you some background I’ve been single 6 years ,tried dating apps got fed up of being messed around let down etc so joined here , ideally I’d love one or two regular playmates but as we all know we have no control over whether someone wants to meet again and if they do the frequency , I’m not desperate and don’t just meet anyone, yet in the last 2 days I’ve received judgy messages from guys about the number of veris I have & one even said “so if a good social then I could be fuking the same day” now forgive me for stating the obvious but this isn’t a dating site and I don’t think any guy on here would want to wine dine for weeks on end with no sex or am I missing something here ? In order to find a ‘regular’ that first meet or social has to take place then there are no guarantees that either party wants to meet again , in my experience I’m finding guys want to meet a couple of times then family /kids real life gets in the way and before you know it it’s been months meanwhile I’m left wanting intimacy and more so surely I’m not expected to sit around like a nun waiting incase a guy decides they want to meet again , personally given the 6 years here my veris are few and a lot are repeat meets so "
Its many things to many different people, some are looking for partners, some are looking for sex, some are looking for company, some are looking for friends, some are just horny all the time and get nowhere, some just want to chat or come to forums. So in answer to your question we are not all the same, we dont all think a like and we're not all here for the same thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I joined here for very similar reasons - fed up of attached men on dating sites on there for sex. The usual line - oh didn't I tell you I've got a wife/gf.
I find that some men on here are surprised that I haven't waited for them for round 2. They know how inundated females are with messages yet don't equate that to more sex.
I'm selective who I meet for a social let alone play with. A social is needed in my view, to see if there is a connection there and if you want to get up close and personal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've just read your profile and have to say if anyone has a problem with it, that's on them. You're direct, you know what you're looking for and you've stated it clearly. People who aren't interested should just scroll on by instead of being so judgmental.
We recently unblocked single males from messaging as we were looking for a guy or two to join us- the abuse and crap we got was unreal! We just had to remember that there are decent people put there, it just seems to take a bit longer to find them these days lol
Mrs |
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Verifications shouldn't be a factor, especially if anyone actually reads them. Being sociable and meeting people is what the lifestyle is about. Ignore, block them and just enjoy fab on your terms  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also verification can be fake.
My 1st one was from someone I'd only messaged on here - I was furious. Thankfully a guy who I had met gave me a real one. I have always been upfront that I have 1 fake verification. |
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By *J nudeCouple
over a year ago
Fair Oak |
"Hey sweetest don't take it to heart there are a lot of people who don't understand swinging they just
treat this site like a sex site which it isn't we respect the social first it's always been better to connect with a couple than just jump into the sex if people can't respect what you seek then they don't deserve your time and attention to begin with don't apologize for knowing what your after and if people come at you for it just delete and ignore em they were a waste of your time to begin with x"
Couldn't agree with you more 100%agree |
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"I'm confused! You've only got 26 verifications in 6 years.
How is that a lot especially as some are repeats?
Please ignore the idiots on here. Many are jealous, trolls, keyboard warriors or just haven't grown up yet x
Who exactly are you referring to?"
Sorry this was to the op x |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
As others have said. Nothing to worry about. Block and move on.
I've had messages because I have veris (old ones) on my profile and my profile now says I'm not looking to meet at the moment.
It's almost like life, situations and requirements can't change *facepalm*
I've been here since year dot (as near as damn it) on an original singles profile then this one, and the odd couples one. I've had several partners in that time, some I've swung with some I haven't. I've got married. Things I look for have changed!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm confused! You've only got 26 verifications in 6 years.
How is that a lot especially as some are repeats?
Please ignore the idiots on here. Many are jealous, trolls, keyboard warriors or just haven't grown up yet x
Who exactly are you referring to?
Sorry this was to the op x"
|
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Sorry to hear you’ve suffered judgemental messaged op but sadly that seems par for the course for fab… We’ve recently been called shallow because we said a face pic wasn’t our type to play with as we felt no attraction etc. Shame on me for having a type of guy to fancy but I’ll get over it in time I suppose lol. Just enjoy and ignore the haters xxx |
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"I'm confused! You've only got 26 verifications in 6 years.
How is that a lot especially as some are repeats?
Please ignore the idiots on here. Many are jealous, trolls, keyboard warriors or just haven't grown up yet x"
I know that’s what I thought oh well onwards and upwards eh x |
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"Just looking to vent really and get some honest opinions, to give you some background I’ve been single 6 years ,tried dating apps got fed up of being messed around let down etc so joined here , ideally I’d love one or two regular playmates but as we all know we have no control over whether someone wants to meet again and if they do the frequency , I’m not desperate and don’t just meet anyone, yet in the last 2 days I’ve received judgy messages from guys about the number of veris I have & one even said “so if a good social then I could be fuking the same day” now forgive me for stating the obvious but this isn’t a dating site and I don’t think any guy on here would want to wine dine for weeks on end with no sex or am I missing something here ? In order to find a ‘regular’ that first meet or social has to take place then there are no guarantees that either party wants to meet again , in my experience I’m finding guys want to meet a couple of times then family /kids real life gets in the way and before you know it it’s been months meanwhile I’m left wanting intimacy and more so surely I’m not expected to sit around like a nun waiting incase a guy decides they want to meet again , personally given the 6 years here my veris are few and a lot are repeat meets so "
it’s one of the reasons I don’t post veries on here .
Who I meet ,how frequent I meet & what I get upto on a meet is no one’s business but my playmates & mine |
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"Just looking to vent really and get some honest opinions, to give you some background I’ve been single 6 years ,tried dating apps got fed up of being messed around let down etc so joined here , ideally I’d love one or two regular playmates but as we all know we have no control over whether someone wants to meet again and if they do the frequency , I’m not desperate and don’t just meet anyone, yet in the last 2 days I’ve received judgy messages from guys about the number of veris I have & one even said “so if a good social then I could be fuking the same day” now forgive me for stating the obvious but this isn’t a dating site and I don’t think any guy on here would want to wine dine for weeks on end with no sex or am I missing something here ? In order to find a ‘regular’ that first meet or social has to take place then there are no guarantees that either party wants to meet again , in my experience I’m finding guys want to meet a couple of times then family /kids real life gets in the way and before you know it it’s been months meanwhile I’m left wanting intimacy and more so surely I’m not expected to sit around like a nun waiting incase a guy decides they want to meet again , personally given the 6 years here my veris are few and a lot are repeat meets so it’s one of the reasons I don’t post veries on here .
Who I meet ,how frequent I meet & what I get upto on a meet is no one’s business but my playmates & mine "
Agreed and reading from some post on forums. There is plenty of people that are bordering on creeping / stalker behaviour with how in-depth they go into veris / follows |
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