FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Most people that are on here are not a swnger and never been to a club
Most people that are on here are not a swnger and never been to a club
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We wouldn't think it makes you a swinger if you dnt go to a club. We have been to a few clubs and we enjoyed our time at them but its not really for us. But there is alot on here what use this like a dating site rather than a swingers site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Saw a post before comparing it to tinder, obviously it’s a dating site and FAB is a swingers site
Question from a couple that hasn’t ever used tinder, what would you say is comparable? |
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I've been to a few clubs as a couple and enjoyed them. Also a frequent visitor here. Yes I admire beautiful woman and duly fab their pictures. Does that make me a pic collector?
I still would class myself as an out and out swinger. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get what you mean !
So by some definitions I'm not a swinger because some say true swinging is couple swapping. And I'm single.
I define myself as a swinger because I enjoy playing in clubs and with couples and certain group scenarios but sometimes i play with regular fuck buddies one on one
Defo don't need to go to clubs though, each to their own. I personally love them , as you know haha
The issue I have is men , (yes I know not all men  ) will join here and try use it like tinder , which is fine but dont moan when you don't get an easy lay and start spouting crap about it's not fair and give us poor single men a chance (wretch) |
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Me and my partner both like the lifestyle and live this way. For us it works. I believe you do need complete trust. Everyone treats this site diff and unfortunately there are too many on here who are only interested in a quick fuck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’re not swingers. We’ve been to clubs and had meets but it’s just a bit of fun for us. We use this site because it’s the best one out there to get what we want. |
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Yes... I have truly real and great friends here.
Profile messages and pictures are here to show ourselves to others and I accept you ladies get inundated with unwanted messages. Filters only stop a few of them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is my observation in fairness.
Oxford dictionary - a swinger is a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners.
A lot of people on here don't engage in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners.
This sort of thing usually goes down at clubs and the number of guys that refuse to meet me at one raises a (perfectly blocked) eyebrow. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Most women on here are really looking for husbands..... Guys are stupid to think they can get a free shag ... A total mismatch of expectations ... It s the gift that keeps on giving ..
"
Would you like me to wear white?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most women on here are really looking for husbands..... Guys are stupid to think they can get a free shag ... A total mismatch of expectations ... It s the gift that keeps on giving ..
"
I'm definitely not looking for a husband |
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To misquote Forrest Gump, "swinging is as swinging does". In other words, swinging is what you make it. Playing, fucking, hooking up, as long as we play within each others' boundaries and nobody gets hurt. Gone are the days when the guys chucked their car keys in a bowl and the ladies picked a set.
Let us play!
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I'm not a swinger never have claimed to be. I've also never been to a club I don't have the time or inclination to travel hours to go to the nearest one. I also have never been on any dating site much less tinder.
So ye I just always done my own thing on here and it works well for me and what I want from fab so I'm happy enough  |
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The great thing about being a swinger is that you can do it in a way that works for you. You don't have to be in a swingers club every weekend (or at all) to be classed as a "real swinger". Everyone lives the lifestyle in the way they choose to simple as. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went with my first couple in 90,s no car keys involved only a phone box lmao "
So what makes a person a real swinger in your opinion? I'm curious because I would never put my key anywhere, I want casual sex or encounters bit with people that I like, not anyone random. If this doesn't make me a swinger, fine for me. I will say I'm a wannabe.  |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
We are swingers. Been to multiple clubs et al. We are here for community and hopefully some sex down the line.
Tinder is not a dating app though. It is purely for hook-ups and not our thing. Never has been.
C |
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By *ucianpoundCouple
over a year ago
Cap d’Agde, France |
We’ve been swinging since the days they called it wife swapping, have been or still on about 10 sites, been to have been to at least 50 clubs in Europe or North America, (English ones are definitely the worst)
Other than the occasional visitor to our area we use this site mainly to keep in touch with old friends or to peruse this excellent forum. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn’t class us as “swingers”, I enjoy watching T with another lady and joining in, I have no interest in other men, so we don’t swap in that respect.
Everyone can use this site as they wish.
We met on here and when I was on here originally many moons ago I used it to look for a FWB.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I know it's people saying my outfit better than your outfit my ass tits better than your tits I have had more Shags than you I miss the days when had good old fashioned horny fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This place is absolutely like Tinder and sometimes just as 'toxic'.
I've been swinging for over 10 years at parties and clubs and been on and off this site a number of times, It seems to be divided into 3 parties - you have the hardcore few which are 'genuine' swingers and are always on this forum somewhere. They understandabley tend to be very guarded and choosy which can make things feel very cliquey. Then you have those that come in here and treat this place like Tinder which is why the genuine ones feel guarded. Then you have those with their massive list of demands in their profile as if its some kind of rider.
Quite fascinating :D |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I wasn't on about the couples on here I was talking about single men loads not swingers and I seen chatted them on date app what I am saying is more people on here that don't swing than do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wasn't on about the couples on here I was talking about single men loads not swingers and I seen chatted them on date app what I am saying is more people on here that don't swing than do "
Why does it matter to you what others are up to on here, whether they be swingers, go to clubs what difference does it make to you..and why point out single men..I've chatted to numerous women on tinder, then find out were both on fan as well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wasn't on about the couples on here I was talking about single men loads not swingers and I seen chatted them on date app what I am saying is more people on here that don't swing than do "
If you use the reply + quote button, it's easier to know who you are replying to.
Couple or not, I don't class myself as a swinger and never have. Yes, I've been to clubs but they will never become a huge part of my social life either. I've also had an account on Tinder and other dating apps. I personally think there's less expectation of sex on there than there is on here when I use my single account.
Pxx |
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"I am just saying this cos when I joined Tinder plenty of fish Badoo I seen loads of men on there that message me on here "
Someone might see me at work and then see me at the gym, it doesn’t mean my work is like the gym. Having a similar population on the sites is not what makes them similar ad their purposes are meant to be different, their user interface and the way you use then is wildly different, the content is different
Also people can be both looking to date and a swinger
What i will agree with is some men using fab and tinder in similar ways. But thats because they are using a scattergun approach anywhere they can to try get recreational sex
One site is for a swinging, non monogamous lifestyle. The other meant to be for dating. This type of guy just sees “easy access to women that might want to sleep with me” |
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By *i_Blonde_BabeWoman
over a year ago
cardiff or just passing through |
I’ve never been to a club nor am I likely to anytime soon, however I have had sex with other men / women in the presence / with the assistance of my husband. Does this mean I’m not a swinger? I don’t think it’s possible to put a label on a typical “swinger”. I’m picky, I turn down significantly more than I accept but I still consider my inclusion on this swingers site to be valid  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you think it's like Tinder on here "
Tinder is like Fab but without the naughty photos. In my experience most men on Tinder just want a hook up. Like yourself OP I have seen quite a few profiles on Tinder of men also on Fab. On Tinder it e very difficult to determine what the other party is actually looking for, but on Fab you know most are just looking for sex. So in that way Fab dithers from Tinder. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have seen same men off here on all date apps I come off them all now hope I meet my future partner natural I have stopped looking apprantly that's how most people meet |
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"I wasn't on about the couples on here I was talking about single men loads not swingers and I seen chatted them on date app what I am saying is more people on here that don't swing than do "
Not sure I follow the train of thought OP if I'm honest. Swinging will mean different things to different people. I've been to clubs, been fortunate to meet some lovely people and have a lot of fun. Does that make me a swinger? |
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"You meet nice people in clubs but the club scene is competing and competition rather than fun "
Clubs are great fun, not sure what you mean about competition? I think Fab I'd a great site, I'm not on tinder or other dating sites. I enjoy here because I can meet like minded people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You meet nice people in clubs but the club scene is competing and competition rather than fun
Clubs are great fun, not sure what you mean about competition? I think Fab I'd a great site, I'm not on tinder or other dating sites. I enjoy here because I can meet like minded people. "
There's a lot of ego contests that go on in clubs. Not that it's club-specific, just that any location where people are physically present together just aggravates it a lot more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most women on here are really looking for husbands..... Guys are stupid to think they can get a free shag ... A total mismatch of expectations ... It s the gift that keeps on giving ..
"
A bit bold to state that "most women" are looking for husbands lol. Are women not allowed to look for a free shag as well...? I'm just taking the mickey- I do know what you mean
Mrs |
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"Most women on here are really looking for husbands..... Guys are stupid to think they can get a free shag ... A total mismatch of expectations ... It s the gift that keeps on giving ..
A bit bold to state that "most women" are looking for husbands lol. Are women not allowed to look for a free shag as well...? I'm just taking the mickey- I do know what you mean
Mrs"
We are a community of people who enjoy sex. That's enough for me. |
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"You meet nice people in clubs but the club scene is competing and competition rather than fun
Clubs are great fun, not sure what you mean about competition? I think Fab I'd a great site, I'm not on tinder or other dating sites. I enjoy here because I can meet like minded people.
There's a lot of ego contests that go on in clubs. Not that it's club-specific, just that any location where people are physically present together just aggravates it a lot more. "
I've never been a fan of any type of club. I don't want to go to a club that would have me as a member! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I go to a club when there's a organised social, incase there's anyone looking for a regular partner... Playing solo at clubs is not for me, rather wait for a special someone |
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By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire/Northwest |
"This is my observation in fairness.
Oxford dictionary - a swinger is a person who engages in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners.
A lot of people on here don't engage in group sex or the swapping of sexual partners.
This sort of thing usually goes down at clubs and the number of guys that refuse to meet me at one raises a (perfectly blocked) eyebrow."
We definitely meet the oxford dictanary's definition of swingers. We love clubs, group sex and swapping  |
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"Most women on here are really looking for husbands..... Guys are stupid to think they can get a free shag ... A total mismatch of expectations ... It s the gift that keeps on giving ..
"
I can assure you I’m most certainly not looking for a husband
Or a date. Or a relationship.
Fab is there for all to do as they wish. As long as they’re not being abusive or dickheads then that is entirely up to them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most women on here are really looking for husbands..... Guys are stupid to think they can get a free shag ... A total mismatch of expectations ... It s the gift that keeps on giving ..
I can assure you I’m most certainly not looking for a husband
Or a date. Or a relationship.
Fab is there for all to do as they wish. As long as they’re not being abusive or dickheads then that is entirely up to them "
Lies you popped the question the other day |
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Why would being a swinger be conditional on going to a club? That’s like saying you can’t be a football supporter without going to a match.
Some people aren’t comfortable playing with that many people around and would rather keep things private. In theory swinging must involve at least three people, therefore anyone on fab only looking for 1-2-1s wouldn’t be considered a swinger. Not sure it matters that much though, it’s just a label.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most women on here are really looking for husbands..... Guys are stupid to think they can get a free shag ... A total mismatch of expectations ... It s the gift that keeps on giving ..
"
Do you think single women here are stupid, too? Because if I wanted to find a husband (I don't) this is the very last place I'd look. |
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"Most women on here are really looking for husbands..... Guys are stupid to think they can get a free shag ... A total mismatch of expectations ... It s the gift that keeps on giving ..
I can assure you I’m most certainly not looking for a husband
Or a date. Or a relationship.
Fab is there for all to do as they wish. As long as they’re not being abusive or dickheads then that is entirely up to them
Lies you popped the question the other day "
I did. But the question was FAF |
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"Why would being a swinger be conditional on going to a club? That’s like saying you can’t be a football supporter without going to a match.
Some people aren’t comfortable playing with that many people around and would rather keep things private. In theory swinging must involve at least three people, therefore anyone on fab only looking for 1-2-1s wouldn’t be considered a swinger. Not sure it matters that much though, it’s just a label. "
Agree with all of that. Clubs are irrelevant - they are one potential venue for the act of swinging and not the act itself. Also at least three people. People having serial one on one meets and nothing else don't really sound like swingers - nothing wrong with that of course but it's something else. Of course it doesn't matter really what one calls it BUT do find on Forum a lot of single people who meet singles and not more seem to offer strong black and white opinions about "swinging" when at best they have experienced only a tiny sliver of swinging life. At least have a bit of humility if that is your only experience. |
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It often seems to me that even on here ‘swinging’ is still seen as something people don’t want to be associated with. They don’t want that label.
We’re just people who enjoy having sex with different people, just like all the singles, it’s just that we happen to be in a committed relationship with each other so we choose to do this consensually. Unlike many people who do it behind their partner’s back. How we do this varies on what we want at the time and we use fab and clubs sometimes to facilitate this. We also enjoy spending time with likeminded people in a non sexual way.
It works for us and it doesn’t really matter what you want to label it as.
Kx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most women on here are really looking for husbands..... Guys are stupid to think they can get a free shag ... A total mismatch of expectations ... It s the gift that keeps on giving ..
I can assure you I’m most certainly not looking for a husband
Or a date. Or a relationship.
Fab is there for all to do as they wish. As long as they’re not being abusive or dickheads then that is entirely up to them
Lies you popped the question the other day
I did. But the question was FAF "
I've now had time to think, It's a yes from me |
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"Most women on here are really looking for husbands..... Guys are stupid to think they can get a free shag ... A total mismatch of expectations ... It s the gift that keeps on giving ..
I can assure you I’m most certainly not looking for a husband
Or a date. Or a relationship.
Fab is there for all to do as they wish. As long as they’re not being abusive or dickheads then that is entirely up to them
Lies you popped the question the other day
I did. But the question was FAF
I've now had time to think, It's a yes from me "
About time you made your mind up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most women on here are really looking for husbands..... Guys are stupid to think they can get a free shag ... A total mismatch of expectations ... It s the gift that keeps on giving ..
I can assure you I’m most certainly not looking for a husband
Or a date. Or a relationship.
Fab is there for all to do as they wish. As long as they’re not being abusive or dickheads then that is entirely up to them
Lies you popped the question the other day
I did. But the question was FAF
I've now had time to think, It's a yes from me
About time you made your mind up "
Well a man needs to be wooed first LB |
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"Most women on here are really looking for husbands..... Guys are stupid to think they can get a free shag ... A total mismatch of expectations ... It s the gift that keeps on giving ..
"
Hang on, what? Christ, I hope I don't get a husband. Something I've actively avoided, I'll be damned if I'm getting one bc I'm on here now!
Actually I've found more men on here looking for relationships than on Tinder. I've dabbled on both and found there's not always a huge amount between them. |
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By *LiamMan
over a year ago
Midlands |
I don't really care how people use this site, some women buy knickers from primark let a snail wiggle around in the crotch and sell them to wanking old men as used . That is real swinging in my book |
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I can assure you that after 10 years of meeting people for the purpose of everyone's sexual gratification that I am by definition a very real swinger.
I have never been to a club and I don't single out anything that I like to do as being what everyone else has to like to be real.
Come off it! |
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"Most women on here are really looking for husbands..... Guys are stupid to think they can get a free shag ... A total mismatch of expectations ... It s the gift that keeps on giving ..
I can assure you I’m most certainly not looking for a husband
Or a date. Or a relationship.
Fab is there for all to do as they wish. As long as they’re not being abusive or dickheads then that is entirely up to them
Lies you popped the question the other day
I did. But the question was FAF
I've now had time to think, It's a yes from me
About time you made your mind up
Well a man needs to be wooed first LB "
You can have a twit-twoo from me cheeky |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
most swingers dont do clubs ..fact
if all swingers did do clubs there would be 1000s of clubs to cope with the numbers.... so clubs are only a tiny part of the scene most swingers are private swingers who do there own thing ie not sheep |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm single so technically I'm nit a swinger.
I like clubs, group fun and intimate meets. This site suits what I'm looking for much better than any others I've found so far. |
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I don't think it's like Tinder on here because here there's no danger of getting into a debate about the right and wrongs of non-monogamy.
As for definitions of a swinger for me personally its about mindset.
To me a swinger is someone who knows they are hard wired for "ethical" non-monogamy regardless of if they are in a relationship or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've returned after getting a little bit fed up with all the dreamers and attention seekers who came during lockdown ,
Years ago the site was just swingers which was great, but in recent years its grown , some its bad and parts are good, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s actually a bit of a disappointment to be reading all the posts from non swingers on here
Plenty of genuine swingers but definitely is a task to out what we are looking for
Filters help yes, we haven’t blocked single men and enjoy the fabs and messages but not ever going to play with them, are we guilty of encouraging them? Possibly, but at the same time we get enjoyment out of taking pics
Looks like there’s plenty of guilty single women on here to that are using it as a dating site
So what’s the answer? There isn’t one, take what you can and enjoy it !!!
Always take the positives, you are in control of your own decisions on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We will say this , when we through the teddy out and deleted the account , wr tried some of the other sites ,
The cost was expensive , and 75% of the profiles was in active ,
So for all its fault we have to say its the best site ,
Maybe its time to have a tick box for "swingers" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be completely honest I think I've been on most dating apps over the years and rarely get anywhere.
I'm far too fussy for the fish one, not Instagram pretty enough for Tinder and generally too lazy for Bumble.
I come back here time and time again because the men I meet are more interesting, intelligent and capable of actually holding my attention.
I got very few messages on the dating sites , so maybe it's my face that's the problem
I don't think it really matters why you are here so long as you're honest with the people you meet |
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Its certainly changed over the years we've been here 14 years and people used to be a lot more genuine on here.
There's a lot of people that like the idea of the lifestyle and the chatting about it with no intention of ever moving foreward thus wasting multiple peoples time in the process.
However there are still genuine people here just have to get good at spotting the chatters. |
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"It often seems to me that even on here ‘swinging’ is still seen as something people don’t want to be associated with. They don’t want that label.
We’re just people who enjoy having sex with different people, just like all the singles, it’s just that we happen to be in a committed relationship with each other so we choose to do this consensually. Unlike many people who do it behind their partner’s back. How we do this varies on what we want at the time and we use fab and clubs sometimes to facilitate this. We also enjoy spending time with likeminded people in a non sexual way.
It works for us and it doesn’t really matter what you want to label it as.
Kx "
Spot on. I was thinking the same about the negative perception of the word swingers. Like I said further up it works for us and we enjoy it. Playing and social side. |
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