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Introducing Wife to Swinging
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Looking for some advice. I’m very interested in swinging and would love for my wife to also get interested so that we can explore together.
I’ve mentioned it half jokingly about getting a third (male or female) in the bedroom or swapping and she just laughs it off thinking I’m joking. She is very “vanilla” and I’d never look to change her / push her into doing something she doesn’t fancy but I don’t think she’s really had a proper think about it.
Is there any advice on introducing a partner into playing like this? Anyone who has introduced a partner or been introduced themselves? |
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"She thinks I’m wierdo and does a runner 
There's your answer.
What makes you say she hasn't had a proper think about it?"
Well I guess I can’t say for sure but knowing her pretty well I can be fairly confident she hasn’t. |
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"Be honest and just ask MAKE IT CLEAR YOUR NOT JOKING, walk away from here if she's not up for it "
Well I’m not going to be walking away from her if she’s not interested. It doesn’t mean that much to me but it would be nice |
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"She thinks I’m wierdo and does a runner
There's your answer.
What makes you say she hasn't had a proper think about it?
Well I guess I can’t say for sure but knowing her pretty well I can be fairly confident she hasn’t. "
Can you have a serious conversation with her about it, one in which you point out the positives *for her*?
How will you feel if she does think properly and by that I don't mean how you think about swinging but how she does and decides it's not for her? |
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"Be honest and just ask MAKE IT CLEAR YOUR NOT JOKING, walk away from here if she's not up for it
Well I’m not going to be walking away from her if she’s not interested. It doesn’t mean that much to me but it would be nice "
What does it mean to you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe, in the heat of the moment, caressing, touching, pleasing intimately.
Tell her a story of what you'd like to happen.
If that goes well, take it to the next stage and speak openly about your desires.
Begin with, you know that story I made up, I'd like it to happen.
Be careful though, there's a fine line between encouraging someone to open up and being pushy.
Don't push, just express your desires and allow her to express her views.
It may be useful to speak face to face, or via messaging, depending on how you both can express more openly.
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"She thinks I’m wierdo and does a runner
There's your answer.
What makes you say she hasn't had a proper think about it?
Well I guess I can’t say for sure but knowing her pretty well I can be fairly confident she hasn’t.
Can you have a serious conversation with her about it, one in which you point out the positives *for her*?
How will you feel if she does think properly and by that I don't mean how you think about swinging but how she does and decides it's not for her?"
I’d appreciate that she has at least considered it and wouldn’t push it again. Like I say she’s perfect in every way for me but i I’d like a bit more spice in the bedroom including others. But it absolutely isn’t a deal breaker |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Looking for some advice. I’m very interested in swinging and would love for my wife to also get interested so that we can explore together.
I’ve mentioned it half jokingly about getting a third (male or female) in the bedroom or swapping and she just laughs it off thinking I’m joking. She is very “vanilla” and I’d never look to change her / push her into doing something she doesn’t fancy but I don’t think she’s really had a proper think about it.
Is there any advice on introducing a partner into playing like this? Anyone who has introduced a partner or been introduced themselves?"
It took a long time for us. It was our 10th wedding anniversary and I asked and she agreed to attend Club Play in Blackpool together. Just to look, no playing. This was in June 2022... We ended up doing soft play with others.
Anyway, to cut a long story short we've now been doing solo meets for a while.
The point is, communication is key and baby steps. I'm not sure how my wife would have reacted if she found out I'd been on Fab prior to us starting our adventure together... |
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"She thinks I’m wierdo and does a runner
There's your answer.
What makes you say she hasn't had a proper think about it?
Well I guess I can’t say for sure but knowing her pretty well I can be fairly confident she hasn’t.
Can you have a serious conversation with her about it, one in which you point out the positives *for her*?
How will you feel if she does think properly and by that I don't mean how you think about swinging but how she does and decides it's not for her?
I’d appreciate that she has at least considered it and wouldn’t push it again. Like I say she’s perfect in every way for me but i I’d like a bit more spice in the bedroom including others. But it absolutely isn’t a deal breaker "
Ok.
Have you considered working with her to bring some more spice into the bedroom? Do you know what her fantasies are, what would spice mean to her? |
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"Looking for some advice. I’m very interested in swinging and would love for my wife to also get interested so that we can explore together.
I’ve mentioned it half jokingly about getting a third (male or female) in the bedroom or swapping and she just laughs it off thinking I’m joking. She is very “vanilla” and I’d never look to change her / push her into doing something she doesn’t fancy but I don’t think she’s really had a proper think about it.
Is there any advice on introducing a partner into playing like this? Anyone who has introduced a partner or been introduced themselves?
It took a long time for us. It was our 10th wedding anniversary and I asked and she agreed to attend Club Play in Blackpool together. Just to look, no playing. This was in June 2022... We ended up doing soft play with others.
Anyway, to cut a long story short we've now been doing solo meets for a while.
The point is, communication is key and baby steps. I'm not sure how my wife would have reacted if she found out I'd been on Fab prior to us starting our adventure together..."
Well I’ve been on here just reading about advice etc. this is my first post to get some direct advice on this subject |
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"She thinks I’m wierdo and does a runner
There's your answer.
What makes you say she hasn't had a proper think about it?
Well I guess I can’t say for sure but knowing her pretty well I can be fairly confident she hasn’t.
Can you have a serious conversation with her about it, one in which you point out the positives *for her*?
How will you feel if she does think properly and by that I don't mean how you think about swinging but how she does and decides it's not for her?
I’d appreciate that she has at least considered it and wouldn’t push it again. Like I say she’s perfect in every way for me but i I’d like a bit more spice in the bedroom including others. But it absolutely isn’t a deal breaker
Ok.
Have you considered working with her to bring some more spice into the bedroom? Do you know what her fantasies are, what would spice mean to her? "
Yes I’ve made a game we’ll play in the coming weeks with various tasks which she’s agreed to. She says she doesn’t really have any . I just think she’s being shy about it and doesn’t want to scare me off (not that it would) |
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"She thinks I’m wierdo and does a runner
There's your answer.
What makes you say she hasn't had a proper think about it?
Well I guess I can’t say for sure but knowing her pretty well I can be fairly confident she hasn’t.
Can you have a serious conversation with her about it, one in which you point out the positives *for her*?
How will you feel if she does think properly and by that I don't mean how you think about swinging but how she does and decides it's not for her?
I’d appreciate that she has at least considered it and wouldn’t push it again. Like I say she’s perfect in every way for me but i I’d like a bit more spice in the bedroom including others. But it absolutely isn’t a deal breaker
Ok.
Have you considered working with her to bring some more spice into the bedroom? Do you know what her fantasies are, what would spice mean to her?
Yes I’ve made a game we’ll play in the coming weeks with various tasks which she’s agreed to. She says she doesn’t really have any . I just think she’s being shy about it and doesn’t want to scare me off (not that it would) "
There's an awful lot of you thinking you know what's in her head. The game sounds like a good idea, have you considered asking her to write her fantasies down or Google 'mojo upgrade' and do it together  .
Good luck to both of you |
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Thought I owed everyone an update as I had a lot of private messages offering advice.
So we filled in that mojo upgrade at the weekend which was very enlightening. We also played a game I made up, part of which involved watching porn together.
I picked a mfm film and commented about how much fun the woman was having. She turned quite crimson and agreed that it did look like she was having fun and that it was turning her on to her surprise.
Cutting a long story short she’s agreed to go on the hunt for someone suitable for the two of us to play with. Thank you everyone for the advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Looking for some advice. I’m very interested in swinging and would love for my wife to also get interested so that we can explore together.
I’ve mentioned it half jokingly about getting a third (male or female) in the bedroom or swapping and she just laughs it off thinking I’m joking. She is very “vanilla” and I’d never look to change her / push her into doing something she doesn’t fancy but I don’t think she’s really had a proper think about it.
Is there any advice on introducing a partner into playing like this? Anyone who has introduced a partner or been introduced themselves?"
My lady is relatively new to the idea of swinging, (although had other bad experiences with sex before), whilst she is quite horny alot of the time. We discussed what she would be interested in etc and have already done a couple of mmf and now looking for couples but starting with voyeur only, building up to soft swing and then full swaps. Yes gauge what she wants but also think about timing and patience, jumping straight into a partner swap can be very daunting to someone not used to the lifestyle and not sure how they will react seeing you fucking someone else etc. |
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It was the same for me 18 years ago. So I persuaded Mrs P to go to a swingers club with me. But agreed that it would be just to experience the vibe, chat to people & watch what went on. No pressure & no commitment to do anything. All her concerns & nervousness were allayed quickly. She saw it was, in many ways, nicer than a conventional party!! As agreed, we didn't play with others that first night. But we we've certainly made up for it since!! |
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Again thought I owed everyone on here a bit of a follow up.
So last Friday we had our first meet as a couple! We met up with a guy in the city centre for a few drinks to settle the nerves before going up to his apartment.
Won’t go into too many details but I really enjoyed watching her play before joining in myself. She loved it and is already talking about finding another guy to meet with! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Alcohol helps.
Oh and start off with mmf otherwise there is a good chance she will think you just want to get it on with another woman
I'd say that alcohol hinders. "
D*unk and swinging usually means someone isn't really into it.
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Swinging encompasses a large variety of categories. To discuss it with a partner can be a mind boggling thought. During my swinging life both my Ex and I were swinging etc long before we got married so was obvious to continue with it. I've met couples where both partners were cheating behind the others back and when they found out either split up or went into swinging together. Met many where, like you, want to do swinging and worried their partner would freak out about it.
Normally there is some insecurity from one partner, normally the female half, and seems to put the whole idea on hold. The best thing the partner does in this case is suggest a fun profile and put discreet pictures on the profile of the partner. The comments that they get especially from the males builds their confidence and they become willing to slowly experimenting and soon she becomes more interested and actually become the dominant one in the Swinging relationship.
But beware lol it can also make them feel worse about the whole thing. Especially if pushed. The key is to take it slowly and let the other person make their own choice. |
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"Looking for some advice. I’m very interested in swinging and would love for my wife to also get interested so that we can explore together.
I’ve mentioned it half jokingly about getting a third (male or female) in the bedroom or swapping and she just laughs it off thinking I’m joking. She is very “vanilla” and I’d never look to change her / push her into doing something she doesn’t fancy but I don’t think she’s really had a proper think about it.
Is there any advice on introducing a partner into playing like this? Anyone who has introduced a partner or been introduced themselves?"
Suggest watching one of the many swingers docs about. This will enable you to talk about the lifestyle without saying you definitely want to do it. |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"Looking for some advice. I’m very interested in swinging and would love for my wife to also get interested so that we can explore together.
I’ve mentioned it half jokingly about getting a third (male or female) in the bedroom or swapping and she just laughs it off thinking I’m joking. She is very “vanilla” and I’d never look to change her / push her into doing something she doesn’t fancy but I don’t think she’s really had a proper think about it.
Is there any advice on introducing a partner into playing like this? Anyone who has introduced a partner or been introduced themselves?
Suggest watching one of the many swingers docs about. This will enable you to talk about the lifestyle without saying you definitely want to do it. "
This is very good advice. You may not want to give her the impression you're champing at the bit to do it just yet. For one thing, if she's not keen, you'll have sown the idea that you want more than she can give you. Dont do that to her. If you watch a documentary, you can sound out and gather her feelings by her reaction to it.
 |
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"And yet you’re still on here as a single fella!
I’m trying to figure out how to change my profile to a couples one. May have to just make a new one as a couple "
You're photo verified as a single man so a couples account is the way to go  . You just need a separate email address |
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