FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > sexless mariage
sexless mariage
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
In my opinion, you’ve got to find that thing that stimulates you both. Make sure you make the sex conversation a normal part of your marriage/relationship and remind your partner that It’s ok to have sexual desires that are out of societal norms(Ebony). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Sometimes a person can no longer have sex for many reasons. A marriage is much more than sex but if it's still important to one partner it's going to be very difficult for them to cope. With sex comes intimacy, bonding, emotional closeness and validation. If your partner no longer wants or needs any of those things it can cause a person to feel unattractive rejected and unloved.
What are these people supposed to do? If it's a man according to fab they should just put up with it and do the washing up more often  . If it's a woman they just need to 'get it' elsewhere because obviously the guy must be mad.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Talk to each other, compromise, come up with a solution.
Don't cheat, lie and decieve the person you apparently love.
Mrs "
I agree but sadly and disgustingly there are people in the scene who are married and their significant other doesn't have a clue  horrible. Hope they get exposed one day and put the other person out of their misery to live life without them. Its a very selfish world we live in |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Talk to each other, compromise, come up with a solution.
Don't cheat, lie and decieve the person you apparently love.
Mrs
I agree but sadly and disgustingly there are people in the scene who are married and their significant other doesn't have a clue horrible. Hope they get exposed one day and put the other person out of their misery to live life without them. Its a very selfish world we live in "
To my mind that's putting two people in more misery |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There is a lot of people on here who are in a sexless marriage x i think that it's the best way to go x I've been there before and i know what it's like x the sooner you leave the better x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"People can have medical probs hence no sex but still have a great marriage do you lose a family over sex"
Some people suggest that you abandon a marriage because one aspect of it isn't working well. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Sometimes a person can no longer have sex for many reasons. A marriage is much more than sex but if it's still important to one partner it's going to be very difficult for them to cope. With sex comes intimacy, bonding, emotional closeness and validation. If your partner no longer wants or needs any of those things it can cause a person to feel unattractive rejected and unloved.
What are these people supposed to do? If it's a man according to fab they should just put up with it and do the washing up more often . If it's a woman they just need to 'get it' elsewhere because obviously the guy must be mad.
"
Looking through the answers I don't think "according to fab men should just get on with it" I think most responses are to talk and communicate.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Talk to each other, compromise, come up with a solution.
Don't cheat, lie and decieve the person you apparently love.
Mrs
I agree but sadly and disgustingly there are people in the scene who are married and their significant other doesn't have a clue horrible. Hope they get exposed one day and put the other person out of their misery to live life without them. Its a very selfish world we live in "
It really is, and personally I agree, I hope people do get outed, being in "the scene" itself requires a huge amount of trust and communication to break that is horrendous.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Sometimes a person can no longer have sex for many reasons. A marriage is much more than sex but if it's still important to one partner it's going to be very difficult for them to cope. With sex comes intimacy, bonding, emotional closeness and validation. If your partner no longer wants or needs any of those things it can cause a person to feel unattractive rejected and unloved.
What are these people supposed to do? If it's a man according to fab they should just put up with it and do the washing up more often . If it's a woman they just need to 'get it' elsewhere because obviously the guy must be mad.
Looking through the answers I don't think "according to fab men should just get on with it" I think most responses are to talk and communicate.
Mrs "
You're right, recently they do seem to be. Overall though during my time here the general concensus seems to me to be that men should accept a sexless relationship and either masturbate more, just put up with it or leave. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Talk to each other, compromise, come up with a solution.
Don't cheat, lie and decieve the person you apparently love.
Mrs
I agree but sadly and disgustingly there are people in the scene who are married and their significant other doesn't have a clue horrible. Hope they get exposed one day and put the other person out of their misery to live life without them. Its a very selfish world we live in
To my mind that's putting two people in more misery "
Yes but not forever no one deserves to be comforted by a lie. Its just wrong |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Talk to each other, compromise, come up with a solution.
Don't cheat, lie and decieve the person you apparently love.
Mrs
I agree but sadly and disgustingly there are people in the scene who are married and their significant other doesn't have a clue horrible. Hope they get exposed one day and put the other person out of their misery to live life without them. Its a very selfish world we live in
It really is, and personally I agree, I hope people do get outed, being in "the scene" itself requires a huge amount of trust and communication to break that is horrendous.
Mrs "
Yasss  high five I'm with you all the way on this xxx  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Talk to each other, compromise, come up with a solution.
Don't cheat, lie and decieve the person you apparently love.
Mrs
I agree but sadly and disgustingly there are people in the scene who are married and their significant other doesn't have a clue horrible. Hope they get exposed one day and put the other person out of their misery to live life without them. Its a very selfish world we live in
To my mind that's putting two people in more misery
Yes but not forever no one deserves to be comforted by a lie. Its just wrong "
I think we're all comforted by lies to a certain extent but I take your point |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Talk to each other, compromise, come up with a solution.
Don't cheat, lie and decieve the person you apparently love.
Mrs
I agree but sadly and disgustingly there are people in the scene who are married and their significant other doesn't have a clue horrible. Hope they get exposed one day and put the other person out of their misery to live life without them. Its a very selfish world we live in "
Not just in this scene. It is unfortunately human error and life changes. We all do what we do for All sorts of reasons.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Only one answer, if you seriously miss sex. End your sexless marriage.
If not, torturing yourself on here won't help."
But what if 95% of the marriage is fantastic and it's just the 5% sex that is missing? End a marriage just over one issue, seriously? Surely honest open communication and finding a compromise/solution together is worth giving a try. If 2 people truly love each other then they should be able to find away forwards together. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Only one answer, if you seriously miss sex. End your sexless marriage.
If not, torturing yourself on here won't help."
Really. Marriage is not all about sex and I for one can concur. A good 3 yrs of no marital sex due to our reasons we have had many a chat openly and without prejudice.
He's fully aware I'm here
It does pay to talk about the physical wants and needs.
Perhaps I'm just unique as I find it easy to talk my mind
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Only one answer, if you seriously miss sex. End your sexless marriage.
If not, torturing yourself on here won't help.
But what if 95% of the marriage is fantastic and it's just the 5% sex that is missing? End a marriage just over one issue, seriously? Surely honest open communication and finding a compromise/solution together is worth giving a try. If 2 people truly love each other then they should be able to find away forwards together."
Open and honest communication isn't always possible. Relationships are all so different. I often wonder why people find it acceptable for the person not able or wanting to have sex to expect the other person to live without it too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Only one answer, if you seriously miss sex. End your sexless marriage.
If not, torturing yourself on here won't help.
But what if 95% of the marriage is fantastic and it's just the 5% sex that is missing? End a marriage just over one issue, seriously? Surely honest open communication and finding a compromise/solution together is worth giving a try. If 2 people truly love each other then they should be able to find away forwards together.
Open and honest communication isn't always possible. Relationships are all so different. I often wonder why people find it acceptable for the person not able or wanting to have sex to expect the other person to live without it too. "
I totally agree. It really isn't fair to expect a partner not to have a sex life just because one partner has gone off sex, it's selfish. That's why it must be talked about. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Only one answer, if you seriously miss sex. End your sexless marriage.
If not, torturing yourself on here won't help.
But what if 95% of the marriage is fantastic and it's just the 5% sex that is missing? End a marriage just over one issue, seriously? Surely honest open communication and finding a compromise/solution together is worth giving a try. If 2 people truly love each other then they should be able to find away forwards together.
Open and honest communication isn't always possible. Relationships are all so different. I often wonder why people find it acceptable for the person not able or wanting to have sex to expect the other person to live without it too. "
Now that is an issue in any relationship, married or not..
If its not 2 way honest and open, its a nooo from me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Even after me forcing the conversation many times and is going through counselling, I'm not sure that my ex and I ever had an honest conversation about her disinterest in sex.
Divorce was our answer, but I accept that's a bit extreme! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It can be down to medical reasons which I personally know about. I think coming on here for some fun rather an affair where emotions get involved isn't a bad thing, yes it's not ideal and you are cheating on the person you love, but as we all know on here sexual desire and needs can be extremely preoccupying.
I know I'll get hate for this, but if your other half isn't physically able to have and enjoy sex it seem like an alternative to embarking on an affair which can lead to disaster |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Maybe it's me but guys seem to say they are in a sexless marriage. Never hear women saying it .
Maybe to get the sympathy vote maybe becauce they havent asked really what ther partners want if they did they might be surprised |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iouxBWoman
over a year ago
Colchester |
Have you really thought why.
In my first marriage the sex was lacking and often that was because there was no intimacy or foreplay.
It's said men are visual and women are chemical so time needs to be taken to start that reaction. Having conversation and interacting well when not looking for sex helps to place the building bricks for the time either of you have the desire |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If you can’t have a Honest and open discussion with the person you love and want to spend the rest of your life with them theirs probably a bigger issue you need to have a discussion about.
Not everyone cheating is in a sexless marriage some are just purely selfish and want to have their cake and eat it also . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Have you really thought why.
In my first marriage the sex was lacking and often that was because there was no intimacy or foreplay.
It's said men are visual and women are chemical so time needs to be taken to start that reaction. Having conversation and interacting well when not looking for sex helps to place the building bricks for the time either of you have the desire "
It's interesting, I thought of sex as part of the communication that you should be doing as a couple, it's true that our other communication fell off as well.
Where a lot if people say fix the communication and the sex will return, the psychotherapist Esther Perrell says fix the sex and the communication will follow. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Have you really thought why.
In my first marriage the sex was lacking and often that was because there was no intimacy or foreplay.
It's said men are visual and women are chemical so time needs to be taken to start that reaction. Having conversation and interacting well when not looking for sex helps to place the building bricks for the time either of you have the desire
It's interesting, I thought of sex as part of the communication that you should be doing as a couple, it's true that our other communication fell off as well.
Where a lot if people say fix the communication and the sex will return, the psychotherapist Esther Perrell says fix the sex and the communication will follow."
With all due respect to Esther how is sex fixed with no communication? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Only one answer, if you seriously miss sex. End your sexless marriage.
If not, torturing yourself on here won't help.
Really. Marriage is not all about sex and I for one can concur. A good 3 yrs of no marital sex due to our reasons we have had many a chat openly and without prejudice.
He's fully aware I'm here
It does pay to talk about the physical wants and needs.
Perhaps I'm just unique as I find it easy to talk my mind
"
I too am in a sexless marriage due to.health reasons. I love my wife and she is my best friend. We talked about the situation as we had previously had a very healthy sex life. She understood that I found it frustrating because I have a high sex drive. She was the one who suggested that I try to meet my sexual needs elsewhere. As a result, I joined fab, and meet discretely. The thing is that because we talked we found a compromise that we were both happy with and our relationship is stronger than ever now |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Only one answer, if you seriously miss sex. End your sexless marriage.
If not, torturing yourself on here won't help.
Really. Marriage is not all about sex and I for one can concur. A good 3 yrs of no marital sex due to our reasons we have had many a chat openly and without prejudice.
He's fully aware I'm here
It does pay to talk about the physical wants and needs.
Perhaps I'm just unique as I find it easy to talk my mind
I too am in a sexless marriage due to.health reasons. I love my wife and she is my best friend. We talked about the situation as we had previously had a very healthy sex life. She understood that I found it frustrating because I have a high sex drive. She was the one who suggested that I try to meet my sexual needs elsewhere. As a result, I joined fab, and meet discretely. The thing is that because we talked we found a compromise that we were both happy with and our relationship is stronger than ever now"
This is the way.
KJ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Only one answer, if you seriously miss sex. End your sexless marriage.
If not, torturing yourself on here won't help.
Really. Marriage is not all about sex and I for one can concur. A good 3 yrs of no marital sex due to our reasons we have had many a chat openly and without prejudice.
He's fully aware I'm here
It does pay to talk about the physical wants and needs.
Perhaps I'm just unique as I find it easy to talk my mind
I too am in a sexless marriage due to.health reasons. I love my wife and she is my best friend. We talked about the situation as we had previously had a very healthy sex life. She understood that I found it frustrating because I have a high sex drive. She was the one who suggested that I try to meet my sexual needs elsewhere. As a result, I joined fab, and meet discretely. The thing is that because we talked we found a compromise that we were both happy with and our relationship is stronger than ever now
This is the way.
KJ"
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Op we don't know why your relationship is sexless or what you've done to try and change that.
Like others have said you need to sit and have a frank conversation and tell her you're not prepared to live without sex.See if she will let you seek sex elsewhere .
Cheating isn't the answer and if she finds out you're on here without her knowledge,the decision could be made for you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" With all due respect to Esther how is sex fixed with no communication? "
I may be misquoting so her podcasts are definitely the place to go for source, I listened to them a lot and she has a lot worth hearing.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/sep/30/esther-perel-fix-the-sex-and-your-relationship-will-transform-esther-perel
Is a reasonable place to start if you've not come across her before. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Talk to each other, compromise, come up with a solution.
Don't cheat, lie and decieve the person you apparently love.
Mrs "
"Your wife might also be wondering why she is in a sexless marriage, so talking about it is definitely the first step "
both these comments are so true |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
" With all due respect to Esther how is sex fixed with no communication?
I may be misquoting so her podcasts are definitely the place to go for source, I listened to them a lot and she has a lot worth hearing.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/sep/30/esther-perel-fix-the-sex-and-your-relationship-will-transform-esther-perel
Is a reasonable place to start if you've not come across her before."
Thanks for the link. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *neforutoMan
over a year ago
Fantasy land in the SW |
Opinions are very divisive on this I see. Im in this position and Its taken me a long time to get to the point of 'taking the plunge'. I wonder if the position of my wife and myself were swapped with others who are set against it would give them better insight to the reasons why folks like me have this need. Ive thought of affairs but dont want the entanglement, Ive thought of sex workers but cant align myself to that (I dont judge others who do) so its either continued celibacy and resentments that brings or maybe an occaisonal meet with others. Whats odd is that in writing this and reading others comments I dont feel angry or ashamed, I feel more grateful for those parts of the marriage that still function. I dont expect to win sympathy votes but thought I would give my tuppence worth to the chat  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Only one answer, if you seriously miss sex. End your sexless marriage.
If not, torturing yourself on here won't help.
Really. Marriage is not all about sex and I for one can concur. A good 3 yrs of no marital sex due to our reasons we have had many a chat openly and without prejudice.
He's fully aware I'm here
It does pay to talk about the physical wants and needs.
Perhaps I'm just unique as I find it easy to talk my mind
I too am in a sexless marriage due to.health reasons. I love my wife and she is my best friend. We talked about the situation as we had previously had a very healthy sex life. She understood that I found it frustrating because I have a high sex drive. She was the one who suggested that I try to meet my sexual needs elsewhere. As a result, I joined fab, and meet discretely. The thing is that because we talked we found a compromise that we were both happy with and our relationship is stronger than ever now"
Good for you guys.
And equally so our relationship is all roses for it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Talk about it but we prepares to understand that it is partly your fault. To enjoy and want sex your partner needs to feel loved, happy, attractive and desirable. Do you make her feel that way? To enjoy sex she needs the right stimulation, variety, and communication. Does sex follow a routine? Is it always what you want the way you want it?
Remember sex by numbers on a Saturday night after match of the day with the extra “child” they look after isn’t going to make your wife feel sexy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *llblueMan
over a year ago
Irvine |
"Only one answer, if you seriously miss sex. End your sexless marriage.
If not, torturing yourself on here won't help.
What about the rest of the relationship?"
If he really wants to make a choice, there is no middle ground.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Talk about it but we prepares to understand that it is partly your fault. To enjoy and want sex your partner needs to feel loved, happy, attractive and desirable. Do you make her feel that way? To enjoy sex she needs the right stimulation, variety, and communication. Does sex follow a routine? Is it always what you want the way you want it?
Remember sex by numbers on a Saturday night after match of the day with the extra “child” they look after isn’t going to make your wife feel sexy"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
