FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Distance and how you fab.
Distance and how you fab.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ladies (or gents)
Despite having on my profile only local men, I mean let's face it probably only a quarter of them read the damn thing, I get messages from all over "I'll travel to you"
My question is, have you ever had a guy do this (travel over 100 miles for example), do you even entertain messages from distances that seem ridiculous or do you just ignore?
Usually I send a message back (if they float my boat) informing them that there is probably 100s if not 1000s of women between mine and their location.
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Years ago I had one message from Dover ,I'm in Yorkshire
When I said it's way too far he was like I'll get a hotel.
I wouldn't let anyone travel to me too far for a first meet ,I only meet socially first & feel they'd expect more than that. |
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By *essaMayWoman
over a year ago
Fairytale Wood |
Depends, when started dating my partner used to travel 200 miles round trip for few hours meal etc. Travelled 300 miles for our first meet. If their prepared to do the milage but i would imagine many expect something at the end. |
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Ive had a few from Wales & 1 from Newcastle come down to a hotel nearby to meet me.
I always make sure they understand that there's going to be a lot of traveling on their part, if they still want to then I add them on Telegram so we can keep updated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agreed about expectations being too great. I wouldn’t do it without setting very clear boundaries. Mostly I’m juggling a lot of moving parts that I can’t control for eg kids, so if I had to cancel for any reason would feel really bad about it too. Just too much pressure all round |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Years ago I had one message from Dover ,I'm in Yorkshire
When I said it's way too far he was like I'll get a hotel.
I wouldn't let anyone travel to me too far for a first meet ,I only meet socially first & feel they'd expect more than that."
This is my thinking too, I've had blokes not actually that far (50 miles) say "yeah sure, social would be great, I'll get a hotel so I can have a drink" (which I get) but then my head starts going "but then what if they expect more even though we've preagreed just a social". Honestly me and my brain lol |
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There is always discussion about distance equalling expectation but there are two sides to that argument.
I've driven 3½ hours each way years ago and there was an expectation from the woman that I'd done it once so there was nothing stopping me from doing it again and again.
I've also been messaged by a couple at the other end of the country asking me to meet them at a club the following night.
They called me a time waster when I told them that was a 5 hour trip each way on a Sunday night to a club that only opened once a month for invitation only events.
There was zero chance of me being allowed into the club even if I had been stupid or desperate enough to take them up on their offer.
We had never spoken before and they had contacted me and yet I was the timewaster? |
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"Ladies (or gents)
Despite having on my profile only local men, I mean let's face it probably only a quarter of them read the damn thing, I get messages from all over "I'll travel to you"
My question is, have you ever had a guy do this (travel over 100 miles
for example), do you even entertain
messages from distances that
seem ridiculous or do you just ignore?
Usually I send a message back (if they float my boat) informing them that there is probably 100s if not 1000s of women between mine and their location.
"
I've travel all over the UK if I've had meeting of minds and made a connection. Happy to do so .and will daily will message. Complimenting people on there profile and always happy go chat .
Distance is something that can't be overcome .if a connection made .but even if you never meet if you things in common its good to chat . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to stay within a half hour drive rather than mileage. It feels more sensible because if anything goes wrong it’s not such a long way home.
I have one exception that I’m happy to travel about 2-2.5 hours for but she is rather special.
Also I’m happy to meet people from far away that are nearby for some reason and vice Verda but I wouldn’t arrange for either of us to travel just to meet.
Never thought about it before but I’d meet someone halfway if we both travelled half an hour. Wouldn’t book a hotel though until we met and decided to together as it does lead to expectations. I mean that as in if accommodation is booked, even if it’s agreed social only I will start to hope for more. I don’t think that’s healthy so I‘ll avoid that situation. |
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The funniest one though was when a couple messaged out of the blue asking to meet the following day.
I told them to read my profile and they immediately apologised and said they were happy to meet for a social and would buy the coffee.
What about the plane ticket? I asked.
What plane ticket? they enquired.
Eh the one I'm going to need to get to the US where you live  |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
Had a woman travel 300miles on a first meet. She was giving me updates along the way as where she was. I didn't believe a word of it until the 'I'm outside' text arrived. As much as we were talking before I never had any expectations.
Same with myself, I was given a postcode and set off not realising it's Wales. I can't remember where it was but it took a good couple of hours to get there. I never used to mind a drive though - anything around 50miles seemed fine. |
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By *essaMayWoman
over a year ago
Fairytale Wood |
"Years ago I had one message from Dover ,I'm in Yorkshire
When I said it's way too far he was like I'll get a hotel.
I wouldn't let anyone travel to me too far for a first meet ,I only meet socially first & feel they'd expect more than that.
This is my thinking too, I've had blokes not actually that far (50 miles) say "yeah sure, social would be great, I'll get a hotel so I can have a drink" (which I get) but then my head starts going "but then what if they expect more even though we've preagreed just a social". Honestly me and my brain lol"
I'd be little warey of someone offering to get a hotel for less than couple hours drive for a social unless we had already built a connection. That's just me, alternatively if it was a meet over a distance we would try and make a weekend of it so if things didn't work out there would be no pressure and go off a do our own thing. |
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I’ve been the guy who travels a long way to meet. And I’ll do it again. I like a road trip. Or a weekend away.
But that’s for someone I’ve spoken with for weeks, even months. And even then there’s no expectations and no guarantees (other than finally meeting up). Chemistry is a funny thing and you can never be 100% certain it’s going to be there in person. Accept that, and travel with an open mind … and you’ll be grand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is always discussion about distance equalling expectation but there are two sides to that argument.
I've driven 3½ hours each way years ago and there was an expectation from the woman that I'd done it once so there was nothing stopping me from doing it again and again.
I've also been messaged by a couple at the other end of the country asking me to meet them at a club the following night.
They called me a time waster when I told them that was a 5 hour trip each way on a Sunday night to a club that only opened once a month for invitation only events.
There was zero chance of me being allowed into the club even if I had been stupid or desperate enough to take them up on their offer.
We had never spoken before and they had contacted me and yet I was the timewaster? "
Definition of a timewaster according to Fab = saying no |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer to aim for multiple meets vs a ONS. So if they live miles away it's highly unlikely that's going to work out. I mean there is always the exception to every rule though |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
I've chatted with many whom were pretty far the other far end of uk in a sociable way which is something nice to have building up a connection we never know if ever their might be a possibility to meet but we never know how life goes where at a time anyone can be. But besides that focus on those whom reside local the site can be used in many ways |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I'm driving long distance (2+ hrs) for a social I'd probably get a hotel. But then wouldn't mention that I'm doing so and go cheap and cheerful, then there's no expectation or worry from the other side that assumptions have been made.
Did it once a few years ago and when the other person realised I was still in the area and about to set off home got an invite for breakfast in bed. All her instigation though 
E xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I stay throughout the UK with my work and I choose where I want to go. I haven't looked for a meet for a long time now, but I have had a couple of long distance meets in the past.
It isn't really a problem for me to meet anywhere in the country but when I've told women this they usually tell me they want someone living local, a regular fwb. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I'm driving long distance (2+ hrs) for a social I'd probably get a hotel. But then wouldn't mention that I'm doing so and go cheap and cheerful, then there's no expectation or worry from the other side that assumptions have been made.
Did it once a few years ago and when the other person realised I was still in the area and about to set off home got an invite for breakfast in bed. All her instigation though
E xx"
That’s a very sensible way of going about it if your happy to travel that far |
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Obviously there is a degree of practically in this OP. I happily travel to meet the right woman. Your Gatwick so about an hour which is nothing. Someone north of Birmingham for example is a different kettle of fish . I’d rather travel an hour for a great time than 10 mins for a disappointing one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Years ago I had one message from Dover ,I'm in Yorkshire
When I said it's way too far he was like I'll get a hotel.
I wouldn't let anyone travel to me too far for a first meet ,I only meet socially first & feel they'd expect more than that.
This is my thinking too, I've had blokes not actually that far (50 miles) say "yeah sure, social would be great, I'll get a hotel so I can have a drink" (which I get) but then my head starts going "but then what if they expect more even though we've preagreed just a social". Honestly me and my brain lol"
I'd cancel the social if they mentioned a hotel.
If they start hinting at 'more' at the social I walk away. They can be stuck with the hotel bill, I don't care. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Yep. I'm happy to have weekends away - love it actually. I do like having a bit of space to myself but a beautiful hotel room, charming company? Yes.
As far as someone wanting to meet me for a social only? Well I view most as socials - no expectations for anything more. Or hopes. I take it as it is, sometimes it just clicks and works perfectly.  |
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I'm reliant on public transport, so for me, it's not just a question of distance,but time and cost. I've seen it take longer and cost more from me to get from home to Bristol (50 miles) than it does to get to Birmingham (200 miles)
I generally say I'll travel for up to 1hr. Otherwise I only do meets if I'm already visiting somewhere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be fair I have had messages from a guy in Switzerland, and another in I think it was Spain?. Suggested I'd just have to get flights there to meet them?... Sure! Catch yourself on  |
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I live on the south coast of England, yet I get men in Ireland and Scotland telling me they'd travel... Just why?! I'm pretty sure the journey would be twice as long as the actual meet... I might start saying yes, and see what happens |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Obviously there is a degree of practically in this OP. I happily travel to meet the right woman. Your Gatwick so about an hour which is nothing. Someone north of Birmingham for example is a different kettle of fish . I’d rather travel an hour for a great time than 10 mins for a disappointing one "
This guy  |
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Yep on previous profiles.
But a little different for me, I live in a seaside town.So use to arrange meets with ppl coming here on holiday
I`d never travel that far,need to remortgage just to afford the train fare  |
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