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unstable couples
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By *ub bbw OP Woman
over a year ago
oldbury |
Maybe im just being vile but am wondering what you do with couples that are unstable do you still meet and play after all its only sex or do you avoid like the plague? We had a meet a while ago with a coupel who took delight in ripping our relationship apart and tried telling us we were unstable but then then they split up and got back together about 6 times and they recently split again with a big public row in a club we were in and are now back together again. We actually laugh about them as we havent had a major row in 16months let alone considered splitting up. We laugh and avoid like the plague as they were obviously transferring their problems onto us which is sad but looking back now we can see what it was. There are a few couples on here like this what do you do? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is why I no longer meet with couples at all.
I have couple friends who I will play with, however, we dont do the veri thing & I trust them not to tell other couples they meet with about me 
Im so sick of being called a unicorn or being told women rule fabs  
When I see an argument brewing in a club, I get out of the way  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wont play with couples these days often due to the fact that there are some seriously unstable people about..
I dont think its wrong to avoid it.. after all your not looking for drama.. |
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By *ub bbw OP Woman
over a year ago
oldbury |
"I wont play with couples these days often due to the fact that there are some seriously unstable people about..
I dont think its wrong to avoid it.. after all your not looking for drama.. "
No we just want fun and are considering just concentrating on bi males as its much less complicated |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
Avoid like the plaque if it becomes plainly obvious theres a problem between them....we're(speaking as tempnbunk) not interested in getting dragged into other peoples problems we have a very stable loving relationship and dont want or need their hassles  |
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Well without trying to sound like a thug ? My first reaction if some guy I'd just met,told me what I should be doing in my relationship ,would be a smack in the mouth?..but I'd definitely walk away and try and find fun elsewhere ..sod em ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i dont meet couples at all anymore for this very reason, i have met a few in the past that had fell out and had arguments while ive been there and have had some try and drag me into it, im not being rude but im not here for the hassle if a meet a couple who decide they arnt as ready for sharing each other as they thought they was and then fall out over it, why should i be dragged into it, like its somehow my fault, i dont have a crystal ball, i dont know whos stable and whos not and i refuse to be drawn into insecure bust ups, im here for fun not headaches |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We would avoid defiantly, we always meet socially first so we can see if we all like each other! If there was any signs at all that the other couple were not stable then we would say a polite in thank you, don't see the point being dragged into something that doesn't concern us |
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"Me and Funky are an unstable couple 
...but that's to do with the time-space-continuum-wormhole-thready-thingies ... "
Then you should stand on something more solid and grounded, then you won't be unstable. Or stop getting pissed.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"AVOID!!! Lol we had an awkward evening in a club when the couple we were on a meet with had a huge argument in front of us, it was like watching a car crash!!! "
i had it where i met a couple and the women threw me out the house because of something her hubby said that pissed her off, they had a bust up and she slug me out |
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"OK. I'll bite.
What, in this context, is a unicorn?
Mythical creature. Usually a single fem or more specifically a single bi fem. hard to come by x "
Oh! I thought it was a spell check error but couldn't think what for! Doh! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am going to say maybe you have been unlucky?
We know and have met couples who are nothing like that, including us."
i have met some great couples, the thing is you dont know who are the nice ones and who are the nutters till you meet and if you meet a bad one its to late then, so i just avoid all couples now thats the only way i know im not going to end up in the middle of a argument, you cant tell by looking at someone or talking on here what they will be like in real life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We visited chams for the first time a few years back and as the night went on we were approached by a gentleman asking to have a drink with us, we are polite enough to speak to people even if we don't wish to play with them...2 minutes later his wife came out of the toilet, marched over to us and dragged him off whilst i was mid sentence with 'thanks but we don't play with couples' then took him to the door way and screamed at him what a B$%£ard he was before leaving . |
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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
Is it instability though, or is it unreadiness?
Everyone should always go to any meet and leave their issues at the venue door, then pick them up afterwards, just the same as what happens at the meet should stay at a meet.
The main thing we dread is arguments/drama and the J word and try our best to keep clear of it.
Wolf
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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago
taunton |
"Maybe im just being vile but am wondering what you do with couples that are unstable do you still meet and play after all its only sex or do you avoid like the plague? We had a meet a while ago with a coupel who took delight in ripping our relationship apart and tried telling us we were unstable but then then they split up and got back together about 6 times and they recently split again with a big public row in a club we were in and are now back together again. We actually laugh about them as we havent had a major row in 16months let alone considered splitting up. We laugh and avoid like the plague as they were obviously transferring their problems onto us which is sad but looking back now we can see what it was. There are a few couples on here like this what do you do?"
This is why we now have a secret catchprase which means one of us is not happy and wants to leave NOW lol, not had to use it since meeting a couple who are probably divorced by now lol. |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"Me and Funky are an unstable couple
...but that's to do with the time-space-continuum-wormhole-thready-thingies ... "
You mean the big ball of wibbly wobbly, timey wimey stuff? 
Gotta love unstable couples - half the time he wants to shag the single female, rest of the time his partner on the other hand might be taking one for the team |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont think its 'unreadiness' one of the last couples arguments I got snared in, was a couple I had met with a few times. After they had a stinking row; in which they didnt notice me leave, the Male text me asking me to meet with just him, behind her back (and he wasn't very nice about her in his text)
Then when I blocked them, from text and on here; she got in touch via another site and had a right go at me, for not sticking around and sticking up for her
I still see arguments in clubs, however then alcohol is usually a factor |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"We visited chams for the first time a few years back and as the night went on we were approached by a gentleman asking to have a drink with us, we are polite enough to speak to people even if we don't wish to play with them...2 minutes later his wife came out of the toilet, marched over to us and dragged him off whilst i was mid sentence with 'thanks but we don't play with couples' then took him to the door way and screamed at him what a B$%£ard he was before leaving ."
how dare she... ruining what might be his one chance of fun behind her back! Lol. |
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By *mileyBWoman
over a year ago
Northwood |
What a nerve and how rude to dissect your relationship when it's supposed to be an enjoyable evening. People who prey on others and try to lift armour plating to find a weakness are generally insecure themselves. Avoid avoid avoid because it spoils the experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We visited chams for the first time a few years back and as the night went on we were approached by a gentleman asking to have a drink with us, we are polite enough to speak to people even if we don't wish to play with them...2 minutes later his wife came out of the toilet, marched over to us and dragged him off whilst i was mid sentence with 'thanks but we don't play with couples' then took him to the door way and screamed at him what a B$%£ard he was before leaving .
how dare she... ruining what might be his one chance of fun behind her back! Lol."
'we don't play with couples' he'd approached us on both of their behalf's so we didn't see he was trying anything malicious, of course he may of wanted to ask her first  , either way if i wasn't happy with a situation i'd ask to speak to them somewhere quiet not screaming a club down for all to see.
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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
"What a nerve and how rude to dissect your relationship when it's supposed to be an enjoyable evening. People who prey on others and try to lift armour plating to find a weakness are generally insecure themselves. Avoid avoid avoid because it spoils the experience. "
definitely 
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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
"I dont think its 'unreadiness' one of the last couples arguments I got snared in, was a couple I had met with a few times. After they had a stinking row; in which they didnt notice me leave, the Male text me asking me to meet with just him, behind her back (and he wasn't very nice about her in his text)
Then when I blocked them, from text and on here; she got in touch via another site and had a right go at me, for not sticking around and sticking up for her
I still see arguments in clubs, however then alcohol is usually a factor "
It's a shame when people involve you in their arguments and expect you to take one of them's sides.
The idea of a 'get out' phrase someone mentioned above is a good one and really does work.
I'm afraid I'm unable to comment specifically, but it's something you just hope shows up to the party as rarely as possible, and thankfully that's usually the case.
Wolf
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We met a couple for a drink and all he did was slag her off. The atmosphere was pretty bad. We said we were off to the hotel and they could join us if they wanted, thinking they would just disappear. They turned up about half an hour later and it was awkward to say the least. We didn't play much then just said we had to go. Haven't met a couple since.
If I had that again I think we'd just leave after the drink and run like hell! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am going to say maybe you have been unlucky?
We know and have met couples who are nothing like that, including us.
You're both unstable, but only in a mental way "
The best way to be  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am going to say maybe you have been unlucky?
We know and have met couples who are nothing like that, including us.
You're both unstable, but only in a mental way "
But on a serious note, if anyone meeting us, be it social or play felt uncomfortable or that perhaps things were not right, I'd rather they said upfront, as then clearly we would be doing something wrong and I would want to know what, and rectify it. |
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By *ub bbw OP Woman
over a year ago
oldbury |
"I am going to say maybe you have been unlucky?
We know and have met couples who are nothing like that, including us."
Don't get me wrong we have met great couples but this one was surprising they introduced us to clubs and have been swinging for years but are so on and off its bizarre |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am going to say maybe you have been unlucky?
We know and have met couples who are nothing like that, including us.
Don't get me wrong we have met great couples but this one was surprising they introduced us to clubs and have been swinging for years but are so on and off its bizarre "
Well I am I hope one of the not bizarre couples |
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By *ub bbw OP Woman
over a year ago
oldbury |
I'm glad I seem to have the right attitude here we got nearly dragged into all sorts of problems of theirs. They have since run us down to other couples. Saying how unstable we are if people choose to listen to them its their loss but goes to prove there really are some nutters on here. You lot excluded |
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By *ub bbw OP Woman
over a year ago
oldbury |
"I am going to say maybe you have been unlucky?
We know and have met couples who are nothing like that, including us.
Don't get me wrong we have met great couples but this one was surprising they introduced us to clubs and have been swinging for years but are so on and off its bizarre
Well I am I hope one of the not bizarre couples "
No your not your one of the many entertaining people that keep me coming back to the forums |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am going to say maybe you have been unlucky?
We know and have met couples who are nothing like that, including us.
Don't get me wrong we have met great couples but this one was surprising they introduced us to clubs and have been swinging for years but are so on and off its bizarre
Well I am I hope one of the not bizarre couples
No your not your one of the many entertaining people that keep me coming back to the forums"
Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm glad I seem to have the right attitude here we got nearly dragged into all sorts of problems of theirs. They have since run us down to other couples. Saying how unstable we are if people choose to listen to them its their loss but goes to prove there really are some nutters on here. You lot excluded "
You said you wouldn't say anything, our little secret you said!!
Just look out for yourself and don't give 2 hoots what other people may say about you! And steer clear of the nut jobs |
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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago
taunton |
"I am going to say maybe you have been unlucky?
We know and have met couples who are nothing like that, including us.
You're both unstable, but only in a mental way
But on a serious note, if anyone meeting us, be it social or play felt uncomfortable or that perhaps things were not right, I'd rather they said upfront, as then clearly we would be doing something wrong and I would want to know what, and rectify it."
If only we had the chanfe ffs lol |
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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago
taunton |
"I am going to say maybe you have been unlucky?
We know and have met couples who are nothing like that, including us.
You're both unstable, but only in a mental way
But on a serious note, if anyone meeting us, be it social or play felt uncomfortable or that perhaps things were not right, I'd rather they said upfront, as then clearly we would be doing something wrong and I would want to know what, and rectify it.
If only we had the chanfe ffs lol"
Chance  |
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By *anSusieCouple
over a year ago
Midlothian |
Much easier to meet cpl's @ partys or in Clubs to avoid the dramas.
It's easy to see how close,secure they are as a cpl.Its all in the behaviour,how they communicate with each other + in "the look" esspecialy the female half gives to other fems.
We are always described as a solid cpl by others,than again we are very much in love with each other who swing as a joint hobby |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have had the misfortune of meeting a few unstable couples.
I had one after one meet telling me how i was theirs and trying to bombard me with gifts...safe to say i didnt go for round 2.
There has been a young lady who became obsessed i now won't play below a certain age,its all a learning curve and i now can suss people pretty quickly n stay away from the loons |
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By *ub bbw OP Woman
over a year ago
oldbury |
"
You said you wouldn't say anything, our little secret you said!!
Just look out for yourself and don't give 2 hoots what other people may say about you! And steer clear of the nut jobs "
Oops sowwy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There certainly are some unstable couples around but there are an equal amount of unstable singles too.
We are a couple and we do full swap. But after the play and the naughtiness, my OH is mine. Now that sounds very needy and insecure, but after play I always want to sit next to him and cuddle him. I have had situations in the past where women have wanted his undivided attention and I get the impression sometimes that the other women are almost in competition with me.
We are a couple and only play as a couple, we don't give anyone our undivided attention
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Much easier to meet cpl's @ partys or in Clubs to avoid the dramas.
It's easy to see how close,secure they are as a cpl.Its all in the behaviour,how they communicate with each other + in "the look" esspecialy the female half gives to other fems.
We are always described as a solid cpl by others,than again we are very much in love with each other who swing as a joint hobby "
I know exactly what 'look' you mean |
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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago
warwickshire |
"
This is why we now have a secret catchprase which means one of us is not happy and wants to leave NOW "
Something along the lines of "LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, THIS PAIR ARE BATSHIT CRAZY"
Like someone said above - alcohol is often the culprit, or certainly allows problems to surface in public. |
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If you ever have a problem with a group of people then its always best to never involve yourself with that group of people in any way ever again (fab logic).
If we had that mantra we wouldn't be meeting single men, couples or single women because over 2 years we have had "problems" and drama with every single group, we put it down to the nutty buggers themselves rather than the group to which they belong however...
News just in there are fragile damaged couples in swinging, there are also fragile damaged singles in swinging make better choices as to who you meet and you should avoid massive fall outs.
Though there isnt much you can do about in a club bar laughing and moving on.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe im just being vile but am wondering what you do with couples that are unstable do you still meet and play after all its only sex or do you avoid like the plague? "
Get a comfy chair, bag of popcorn... maybe a glass of something or other, watch the debacle, then reach for the block button!!
Or, of course, don't meet in the first place if you have any incling that there maybe a 'relationship' issue' with them..
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We I (Risky m) must confess to being a little unstable... I must be I fell down the stairs the other day...
We've only really had one experience of unstability in swinging and it was a single woman...... Yes singles can be unstable too...
We were told by a couple that they had brought a female friend along and had lost her. They went on to say she had been in 3 or 4 abusive relationships and shouldn't be drinking but had brought vodka with her. Later that night Frisky was stopped by a woman who was upset as she'd lost her friend. Frisky went with her to find her friend. Frisky saw the couple from earlier and said to them is this your friend they said no. The woman then started screaming at an other woman who looked at Frisky saying fuck off don't look at my girlfriend... Frisky took a step back and the couple came over and said sorry she was with them and led her away...
Knowing her they should have never taken her to a place like that... But it shows you get all types in this hobby of ours.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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oh and talking about meeting unstable couples .....only the other month i bumped into Minnie and Micky who introduced me to Fred and Wilma who was telling they had met at a massive mixed session at Goldilocks place ...something about bears was mentioned ...... so i have come across some right odd ball couples of late . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We I (Risky m) must confess to being a little unstable... I must be I fell down the stairs the other day...
We've only really had one experience of instability in swinging and it was a single woman...... Yes singles can be unstable too..."
That's a really important point, actually. With a couple, the instability can be detected from the conversation between them (as well as other clues and factors), but with a single individual the 'conversation' is going on in their mind only - so, unless you have mind-reading skills, you could be getting into all sorts of trouble without realising it...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We must be lucky then! We've never encountered that situation on any meet with a couple. Have seen it s couple of times at chams but never been directly involved.
As for us, we are totally solid and can honestly say there's never been s single issue in two years of swinging xxx |
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We are definitely only here for the fun. If it looks like the fun is about to stop for anyone involved in us playing then we don't.
So if we meet you and one of us starts doing the chicken dance then you know the secret signal for RUUUN AWAAAAY has been given. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me and Funky are an unstable couple
...but that's to do with the time-space-continuum-wormhole-thready-thingies ...
Then you should stand on something more solid and grounded, then you won't be unstable. Or stop getting pissed. "
This has made the most sense so far lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We visited chams for the first time a few years back and as the night went on we were approached by a gentleman asking to have a drink with us, we are polite enough to speak to people even if we don't wish to play with them...2 minutes later his wife came out of the toilet, marched over to us and dragged him off whilst i was mid sentence with 'thanks but we don't play with couples' then took him to the door way and screamed at him what a B$%£ard he was before leaving .
how dare she... ruining what might be his one chance of fun behind her back! Lol."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My first post so I guess I'd better say hello to you all first.
Hello!
I have read quite a few of these posts but not all and there's just something general I'd like to throw out there which is that you seem to meet unstable people in many areas of life and my philosophy is that if someone or a couple comment on you or you as a couple, as long as you are certain about your own situation then you can just take it as an observation at best or worst, reflection of themselves.
I can imagine it could call an end to anything that would otherwise have taken place though. Might be difficult to say 'ah forget your problems, let's play' |
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By *ub bbw OP Woman
over a year ago
oldbury |
"My first post so I guess I'd better say hello to you all first.
Hello!
I have read quite a few of these posts but not all and there's just something general I'd like to throw out there which is that you seem to meet unstable people in many areas of life and my philosophy is that if someone or a couple comment on you or you as a couple, as long as you are certain about your own situation then you can just take it as an observation at best or worst, reflection of themselves.
I can imagine it could call an end to anything that would otherwise have taken place though. Might be difficult to say 'ah forget your problems, let's play' "
welcome to the madhouse. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
I have said many times, work behind the bar of a swingers club and you see/hear it all.
most common denominator: alcohol, thereafter tenderness shown to a play partner, jealousy of playmates, passing of phone numbers to play covertly behind partners backs and the list goes on... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we are a couple looking for female to join us an we are in a good loving relationship which is strong an we have talke alot before joining this site to make sure its what we wanted an we feel comfortable with each other an what we are doing sadly no meets as of yet grrrr xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have said many times, work behind the bar of a swingers club and you see/hear it all.
most common denominator: alcohol, thereafter tenderness shown to a play partner, jealousy of playmates, passing of phone numbers to play covertly behind partners backs and the list goes on..."
I can well imagine that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We came across a couple in a club a while back. They were absolutely stunning & from the body language it was clear the guy was absolutely ready to rock & roll.
The girl on the other hand was clearly absolutely miserable, looked terrified & on the verge of tears.
Her partner ignored her & was oggling every other female in the club.
As far as I am aware every female/couple in the place avoided them & they left a few hours later having spoken/played with nobody.
It was really a sad situation & we felt so sorry for the girl. |
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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
"I have said many times, work behind the bar of a swingers club and you see/hear it all.
most common denominator: alcohol, thereafter tenderness shown to a play partner, jealousy of playmates, passing of phone numbers to play covertly behind partners backs and the list goes on..."
Only those with a strong relationship weather the storm. I think there are some that really shouldn't be doing it that are kidding themselves that they can - hence the make/break episodes. It's better to realise the futility and just let go than agonisingly prolong and drag the world and his dog into it - but like you say, it happens everyday, and always will...
Wolf
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wont play with couples these days often due to the fact that there are some seriously unstable people about..
I dont think its wrong to avoid it.. after all your not looking for drama.. "
singles can be as bad not just couples , Over my years had more nasty stuff of singles .. who get in there little friends click. |
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It's why we like to play in clubs more often than not now.
At least that way you often get a heads up before 'an episode' and you still stand a chance of salvaging your own night.
Such a shame that so many single people have been out off playing with couples because of it!
We knew it exsisted of course and have seen it, just didn't realise it was so prevalent! |
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By *nnyMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"We came across a couple in a club a while back. They were absolutely stunning & from the body language it was clear the guy was absolutely ready to rock & roll.
The girl on the other hand was clearly absolutely miserable, looked terrified & on the verge of tears.
............."
That's not uncommon at dogging sites + there sometimes seems to be an element of Dutch courage about the female |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We came across a couple in a club a while back. They were absolutely stunning & from the body language it was clear the guy was absolutely ready to rock & roll.
The girl on the other hand was clearly absolutely miserable, looked terrified & on the verge of tears.
.............
That's not uncommon at dogging sites + there sometimes seems to be an element of Dutch courage about the female "
We see that over and over again. Whereas with us of late Mrs D is the rampant shagger! |
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"I wont play with couples these days often due to the fact that there are some seriously unstable people about..
I dont think its wrong to avoid it.. after all your not looking for drama.. "
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Same reason here too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had a weird one just before Christmas in Infusions when the female half of a couple (who was a little d*unk) pursued us around the club asking us to play. She then tried to get us off one of the beds to go with her by tipping a glass of iced drink over us (which certainly did move us!).
Needless to say we heard them having one almighty row in the changing rooms afterwards! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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WE got divorced and then we starting swinging.....we had a good friendship, good sex life but it is couples to sort out problems and not drag in people they meet.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I meet couples as a single male, with my fb and meet the occasional single female alone and as a couple.
Most of the time we have all had fun and has been all about the sex and social side of sex. We tend to leave private lives and things that will effect the meet behind.
On saying that, as a couple we did meet a very unstable single female a few weeks ago. Started of okay in the pub, a few drinks, she was from Bournemouth, us from Portsmouth. She then decided to see if any men in the pub wanted to come back to ours for a gang bang, something we did not want to do. When we said this she went of in a rage and tried to drag my friend away with her to find other more willing men...lol. Obviously we have never seen her again and well and truely aviod |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Much easier to meet cpl's @ partys or in Clubs to avoid the dramas.
It's easy to see how close,secure they are as a cpl.Its all in the behaviour,how they communicate with each other + in "the look" esspecialy the female half gives to other fems.
We are always described as a solid cpl by others,than again we are very much in love with each other who swing as a joint hobby
I know exactly what 'look' you mean "
Oh yes 'the look' very familiar with being on the receiving end of that . Happened the other night at a club, just come out of the playrooms & went into the social area, got 'the look' from a woman of a couple in there, even my other half noticed & asked what that was about! |
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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago
taunton |
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This is why we now have a secret catchprase which means one of us is not happy and wants to leave NOW
Something along the lines of "LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, THIS PAIR ARE BATSHIT CRAZY"
Like someone said above - alcohol is often the culprit, or certainly allows problems to surface in public."
Lol, just seen this, not quite that obvious, might save your suggestion for the real nutters |
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