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The friendly / sexual balance in a club.
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First time in a local club (single male) and I’ll be honest I got lost more than once.
Very few people there so I went around chatting to anyone who didn’t stare badly at me. Turns out I’m better at chatting to strangers than I gave myself credit.
Thing is, after each friendly start, because I didn’t want to come across as the stalker type and follow them everywhere (or hover in their general company) I ended up not even seeing a single one of them naked (never mind join in to anything).
How exactly do you go from one point to the other? |
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Don't view it as a wasted visit. View it as an investment in getting yourself a reputation as a nice, non-pushy guy. If you go back regularly and get known for that, then invitations will flow.
I think you have to judge your audience. If you're enjoying chatting to them, and they seem to be enjoying chatting to you, then stay. They will probably invite you to a room at some point, but how long that takes depends on the couple. Some may expect all evening!
But remember - you have to show interest in the woman, even though she's with someone else. Don't just chat to her husband - it's her you really need to convince.
Most clubs have an area where couples can play, and single guys can watch. If you go there, and there is a couple that you've chatted to earlier and got on with, then try and make eye contact and say hello and they may invite you. But don't start a conversation - no-one wants that in a playroom! |
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I know this is not exactly answer to your question but it would be great to drop the expectations that chatting = shag. People are just being friendly, if they want more they will let you know. If they don’t proceed further after chat then I would assume they are not interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know this is not exactly answer to your question but it would be great to drop the expectations that chatting = shag. People are just being friendly, if they want more they will let you know. If they don’t proceed further after chat then I would assume they are not interested. "
That works both ways though. Some women and couples won't ever ask, they want to be asked.
Some women and couples get irate when asked.
Do what feels right OP.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You've taken the first big step by going into a club. As others say you've got to try and pick up a vibe and not be afraid to ask. No thanks is the worst that can happen. |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
Being friendly, not pushy, and generally good company is a good way to approach clubs. You don't have to do everything on your first visit - as others have said, if you establish yourself as a decent person, future visits will go better.
I don't go to the club with the sole purpose of having sex. If I do, that's great. But I'm also there to spend some social time with interesting people that I might not normally get to meet. And that happens pretty much every visit.
If you're talking with a couple, it can be good to give them some space to themselves before asking if they'd like to play. It's a bit awkward to have the "what do we think of this guy?" conversation when he's standing in front of you. Go elsewhere, talk with others, and when you bump into them again, then ask.
For me, that bumping into often happens in the open play rooms. I find it easier to join in something in progress than to start it (the etiquette of joining in is a whole topic of its own). It's all a lot easier on later visits when you already know each other.
The hot tub is a great place to combine socialising with naked people. I need to get back to the club soon. I miss the hot tub. |
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"I know this is not exactly answer to your question but it would be great to drop the expectations that chatting = shag. People are just being friendly, if they want more they will let you know. If they don’t proceed further after chat then I would assume they are not interested. "
This is the view I had for a long time until I was told by a few couples and single ladies that because I had given them no indication that I was interested, they didn't offer to play even though they wanted to.
It's a tricky one for sure but often just a polite mention that you would like the opportunity to play with them if they are interested is enough. I usually say it as any conversation is coming to an end. I have even gone back just to say that one thing as I had forgotten. If there's no immediate response, either positive or negative, I just carry on with my evening.
Sometimes you might come across them later in an open play area and, due to your earlier interaction, they may invite you to join in. This has happened on a great many occasions I think just because you are familiar to them.
Best of luck with your adventures, you've already passed one of the biggest hurdles just by visiting a club and chatting to people. There's a lot of benefits to being a regular, decent, sociable visitor to any club  |
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"Being friendly, not pushy, and generally good company is a good way to approach clubs. You don't have to do everything on your first visit - as others have said, if you establish yourself as a decent person, future visits will go better.
I don't go to the club with the sole purpose of having sex. If I do, that's great. But I'm also there to spend some social time with interesting people that I might not normally get to meet. And that happens pretty much every visit.
If you're talking with a couple, it can be good to give them some space to themselves before asking if they'd like to play. It's a bit awkward to have the "what do we think of this guy?" conversation when he's standing in front of you. Go elsewhere, talk with others, and when you bump into them again, then ask.
For me, that bumping into often happens in the open play rooms. I find it easier to join in something in progress than to start it (the etiquette of joining in is a whole topic of its own). It's all a lot easier on later visits when you already know each other.
The hot tub is a great place to combine socialising with naked people. I need to get back to the club soon. I miss the hot tub."
Great advice |
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Thank you people...
Best advice I’ve had so far.
(I will admit that as a couple of days have passed I’ve come up with similar ideas myself - also had time to look back and get a better idea of what was going on - I think I was just nervous before and after - we live and learn  ) |
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