FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Inability to perform
Inability to perform
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Thank them and politely show them the door in a nice way ...then drop us a line and.......... 
It makes a change from the other sort who turn up get over excited and cum no sooner you can say "oh thats a nice cock" then they get all embarrassed and say "oh is that the time i must dash" or "omg - im ever sorry but got message on mob says the world is coming to end and i need to go and see my wife and children" or 2 SMOETHING ELSE ?????"
 moi a cynic ...never lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ask them to leave and have plan b & c waiting.  "
I honestly don't get it, we usually say we are looking for a stunt cock, and go for the younger end of the market, and the Mrs isn't exactly a woofer, so what gives? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ask them to leave and have plan b & c waiting.
I honestly don't get it, we usually say we are looking for a stunt cock, and go for the younger end of the market, and the Mrs isn't exactly a woofer, so what gives?"
It's for to be a scary thing for a single guy to be asked to perform I front of the hubby we always make them feel as comfortable as possible and I ( Paul ) tend to leave the room for awhile ( go for a cigarette) and let the mrs give them some personal attention seems to work |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ask them to leave and have plan b & c waiting.
I honestly don't get it, we usually say we are looking for a stunt cock, and go for the younger end of the market, and the Mrs isn't exactly a woofer, so what gives?"
oi .... no ageism in here please lol ...we may be older but there some drive in those there groins still lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ask them to leave and have plan b & c waiting.
I honestly don't get it, we usually say we are looking for a stunt cock, and go for the younger end of the market, and the Mrs isn't exactly a woofer, so what gives?"
Ok, I am not a bloke, so can't really say that I know exactly why it won't perform when needed.
However, I can imagine with some it is just nerves. and maybe not get straight on with it, and as Jo says play a game, or have a nice sensual massage.
You two start the action and ask him to help/join in.
Failing that, tell your meet when he gets there, no erection and you're out (joke ) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Perhaps it's a mix of trepidation and inexperience.
I think you have just been unlucky. Maybe search for people that have good verifications with MMF and group fun.
I wouldn't take it personally. As you rightly state, your wife is hot, so it's not her fault.
Good luck in your search.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Could just be them feeling the pressure of the expectation.
At the moment i'm having the problem that it won't go down. And even when I do something about it it still returns. Such is life  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Could just be them feeling the pressure of the expectation.
At the moment i'm having the problem that it won't go down. And even when I do something about it it still returns. Such is life "
show off lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ask them to leave and have plan b & c waiting.
I honestly don't get it, we usually say we are looking for a stunt cock, and go for the younger end of the market, and the Mrs isn't exactly a woofer, so what gives?"
Stunt cock. That made me laugh. First time i've heard that term before. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inups99Couple
over a year ago
manchester |
It's for to be a scary thing for a single guy to be asked to perform I front of the hubby we always make them feel as comfortable as possible and I ( Paul ) tend to leave the room for awhile ( go for a cigarette) and let the mrs give them some personal attention seems to work
GOOD TIP!!!! Have done this a few times and it seems to help the situation along. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
all blokes will have stage fright at some point..
it happens..
take some of the pressure off perhaps by realxing, have a drink etc then see what pops up later..
some guys are not and never will be able to 'turn up' and fuck..
they need a mental connection also.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
A good meet guide for couples from the Fab Union of Quality Single Men:
Try and get them all relaxed and chilled out when they arrive, have a chat and a drink, don't rush anything. Any time taken chatting and flirting well before hand often pays off here as well as you will feel you know each other more. The lady having a little on show can help too, a hint of underwear or flash of stocking tops works wonders.
When it's playtime it's often best if the husband leaves the room for a bit and the lady initiates play. Kissing and caressing helps set the mood if you allow that. Maybe a bit of dirty talk or an erotic strip or something.
Also make sure you have everything you need to hand; condoms, lube, toys etc. before the meet. Have them descreetly tucked away rather than on display. Disappearing for a few minutes to find something mid-meet isn't good.
It can happen to ANY bloke of ANY age at times, don't freak out about it. Just accept it and find other ways to play - maybe the problem will disappear and it will end up as a memorable meet for you all.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ask them to leave and have plan b & c waiting.
I honestly don't get it, we usually say we are looking for a stunt cock, and go for the younger end of the market, and the Mrs isn't exactly a woofer, so what gives?"
Probably nerves! It's not a machine!
Perhaps try a few naughty games to ease their nerves first |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
When it's playtime it's often best if the husband leaves the room for a bit and the lady initiates play. Kissing and caressing helps set the mood if you allow that. Maybe a bit of dirty talk or an erotic strip or something.
"
Not a chance! If someone can't perform around other men then its the single female box that should have been checked on the search, not couple! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"all blokes will have stage fright at some point..
it happens..
take some of the pressure off perhaps by realxing, have a drink etc then see what pops up later..
some guys are not and never will be able to 'turn up' and fuck..
they need a mental connection also.."
THink you are spot on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"A good meet guide for couples from the Fab Union of Quality Single Men:
Try and get them all relaxed and chilled out when they arrive, have a chat and a drink, don't rush anything. Any time taken chatting and flirting well before hand often pays off here as well as you will feel you know each other more. The lady having a little on show can help too, a hint of underwear or flash of stocking tops works wonders.
When it's playtime it's often best if the husband leaves the room for a bit and the lady initiates play. Kissing and caressing helps set the mood if you allow that. Maybe a bit of dirty talk or an erotic strip or something.
Also make sure you have everything you need to hand; condoms, lube, toys etc. before the meet. Have them descreetly tucked away rather than on display. Disappearing for a few minutes to find something mid-meet isn't good.
It can happen to ANY bloke of ANY age at times, don't freak out about it. Just accept it and find other ways to play - maybe the problem will disappear and it will end up as a memorable meet for you all.
"
Spot on! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A good meet guide for couples from the Fab Union of Quality Single Men:
Try and get them all relaxed and chilled out when they arrive, have a chat and a drink, don't rush anything. Any time taken chatting and flirting well before hand often pays off here as well as you will feel you know each other more. The lady having a little on show can help too, a hint of underwear or flash of stocking tops works wonders.
When it's playtime it's often best if the husband leaves the room for a bit and the lady initiates play. Kissing and caressing helps set the mood if you allow that. Maybe a bit of dirty talk or an erotic strip or something.
Also make sure you have everything you need to hand; condoms, lube, toys etc. before the meet. Have them descreetly tucked away rather than on display. Disappearing for a few minutes to find something mid-meet isn't good.
It can happen to ANY bloke of ANY age at times, don't freak out about it. Just accept it and find other ways to play - maybe the problem will disappear and it will end up as a memorable meet for you all.
"
Oh I dunno I often find leaving them with M is entertainment enough lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"all blokes will have stage fright at some point..
it happens..
take some of the pressure off perhaps by realxing, have a drink etc then see what pops up later..
some guys are not and never will be able to 'turn up' and fuck..
they need a mental connection also..THink you are spot on. "
only think... 
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"all blokes will have stage fright at some point..
it happens..
take some of the pressure off perhaps by realxing, have a drink etc then see what pops up later..
some guys are not and never will be able to 'turn up' and fuck..
they need a mental connection also..THink you are spot on.
only think...
"
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
A little patience goes a long way towards helping. Usually getting them busy doing some oral or giving them some time to just get over the familiarity bump and relax is good. Sometimes it's meet 2 or three when they get going for real, but it doesn't matter... sometimes it's worth the wait
Wolf
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ask them to leave and have plan b & c waiting.
I honestly don't get it, we usually say we are looking for a stunt cock, and go for the younger end of the market, and the Mrs isn't exactly a woofer, so what gives?"
Perhaps you should look at the older end of the market, ive never had a problem  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I am not a man (definitely not although sometimes wondered what it might be like ... but...BUT... I am wondering just how much pressure there must be ona man to perform. I know it is a natural thing but when there is a great expectation for a "stunt cock" ... is that not in itself enough pressure to not perform? Just a thought... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We've had this problem quite often. It's when the guys think it's acceptable to just shove their fingers inside you instead that pisses me off. 'If you can't fuck, fuck off'. Read that on another gangbang couple's profile and it did make us chuckle. On the more sensitive side it's often the reality not living up to the fantasy. Once it's settled in it's very difficult to get out of it as trying harder just makes it softer. Agree with the general agreement that a bit of relaxing to start with goes a long way. We always meet guys in a bar initially, which is always quite amusing for everyone. One woman drinking with 6, 8, 10 guys. Shameless |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It happened to me in a club once, lots of great foreplay with a lady and her husband then it was time for me to enter her. I fumbled around with condoms for ages with sticky fingers and lost my erection... they were cool about it and he took over. I was soon brought to attention again by the lovely lady and orgasmed as well.
On that occasion I came down with a stinking cold the very next day and had had a poor nights sleep beforehand, so that seems to have been the cause. With hindsight I should have staying in and not gone to the club so tired and worn out.
A few comments have had me shaking my head on this thread though I must admit  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Maybe get the cards out play strip pocker as that may turn everyone on , lol xxxx "
Not as silly as it sounds. The thing that usually stops a guy 'gettin wood' (to use an Americanism) is stress. Anything that can divert his attention from that stress should make it easier.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ask them to leave and have plan b & c waiting.
I honestly don't get it, we usually say we are looking for a stunt cock, and go for the younger end of the market, and the Mrs isn't exactly a woofer, so what gives?"
Depends what you expect from a guy from the moment he walks inside your door. Your use of the term 'stunt cock' says loads...... 
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
"Ask them to leave and have plan b & c waiting.
I honestly don't get it, we usually say we are looking for a stunt cock, and go for the younger end of the market, and the Mrs isn't exactly a woofer, so what gives?"
What I want to know is.. what's a stunt cock?
Devil |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
What gets me is that the guy is at home to Mr Floppy (often happens when the condoms come out) but I am there with a boner that could break concrete. Suspect it doesn't help! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" One woman drinking with 6, 8, 10 guys. Shameless
I hope they all stood a round - tightwads some of 'em
Wolf
"
Never in public. You have to have some standards |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
" One woman drinking with 6, 8, 10 guys. Shameless
I hope they all stood a round - tightwads some of 'em
Wolf
Never in public. You have to have some standards "
I'd bin anyone who didn't buy me a drink
Wolf
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" I'd bin anyone who didn't buy me a drink
Wolf
"
We don't do too bad on that front. Even him,
Not too much though, we don't want the problem of this whole thread arising. Or not....!!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
Do you read the rule book at the guy or just go with the flow?... ive met a few women who rather than just chatting and enjoying begin their hellos much like some profiles .. I dont do this/that, I wont be doing this/that, treat me like this/that, I like it like this/that?
Ive never had a problem but it did put me off one meet to the point I thought they wanted me to leave..
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you read the rule book at the guy or just go with the flow?... ive met a few women who rather than just chatting and enjoying begin their hellos much like some profiles .. I dont do this/that, I wont be doing this/that, treat me like this/that, I like it like this/that?
Ive never had a problem but it did put me off one meet to the point I thought they wanted me to leave..
"
Wow... It makes you wonder why some people bother. To me it sounds like they just don't get the point of it... Maybe they should just buy a dildo they can suck up to a wall and ride that while hubby provides the oral stimulation. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"Do you read the rule book at the guy or just go with the flow?... ive met a few women who rather than just chatting and enjoying begin their hellos much like some profiles .. I dont do this/that, I wont be doing this/that, treat me like this/that, I like it like this/that?
Ive never had a problem but it did put me off one meet to the point I thought they wanted me to leave..
Wow... It makes you wonder why some people bother. To me it sounds like they just don't get the point of it... Maybe they should just buy a dildo they can suck up to a wall and ride that while hubby provides the oral stimulation."
Lol... Some of those dildos are a weight lol but you can understand the safety aspect of it. It does distract from the good sex on the meet though ... Its only strange as they have exchanged messages, given pictures, numbers and addresses with trust but then expect you to turn into some fanatical axe weilder lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
'Stunt cock' is pretty much an expectation that the poor bloke will perform to the level of a pornstar....so no pressure, then! I often find it unhelpful to perceive that I am 'just a cock, not a person attached to it' and I dislike that cold, ruthless approach - I would hope that most ladies would feel equally unimpressed being thought of as some kind of spunk dump. I would imagine that the majority of people on here are just ordinary people trying to have fun - and the old 'not coming out/up to play' happens to anyone and everyone occasionally for a plethora of different reasons and is part and parcel of sex (despite the 'mine never fails' brigade - of course we will all claim that when seeking a meet!) One would hope a decent person would show a bit of consideration and not destroy a poor fella's confidence by telling them to fuck off. As has been said - a wee bit of pressure off does wonders and play can be resumed. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
have met a guy before who was a lovely guy but cud not perform wen we got to the bedroom.. it was not high drama and we invited him back at a later date. I do think this is something that most guys will experience at one time or another |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I couldn't get it up once during a fairly hot threesome cos one girl was being really dominant and aggro which is like... Well there isn't a sufficient enough analogy for how much that doesn't suit me.
I think if I was in a situation with another guy who couldn't or even a girl who wasn't getting relaxed enough I'd just not say anything and carry on doing other things and if they want to bow out it's their choice.
Depends how relaxed a person you are. I can understand someone not being bothered if that's the specific reason they met you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
"I couldn't get it up once during a fairly hot threesome cos one girl was being really dominant and aggro which is like... Well there isn't a sufficient enough analogy for how much that doesn't suit me.
"
That's what they invented ballgags and gaffa tape for... keeps the over-feisty ones quiet and still qualifies as foreplay
Wolf |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
How tiresome that must be... His embarrassment and awkwardness and you having to witness that.
Life deals such cruel blows to some couples.
Onwards and hopefully upwards next time.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Your wife certainly isn't a woofer! Bloody horny!
However, I have been that bloke with erectile issues, and it doesn't reflect on the couple. It's just that sometimes there are nerves and angood looking woman can put some pressure on to perform.
Patience is the key - I've used alternative methods eg tongue etc and always eventually risen to the occasion! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Since separated two years back i be swinging as a single by invite only and occasional with a fem FB in tow
and whilst id agree it can be daunting as long as you understand what the meeting is set up for ie; free for all - mixed multi session - mixed bi session (mine all are) -or even GB's then single men should be ok i think ... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
